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Friday, September 3, 2010

Characters Most in Need of Being Killed in a Horrible Fashion

Here is our list of characters that should be killed off their show. Whether it’s because we hate them or because they’re just plain useless, our TV screens would be a lot better off without having to show these characters:

  • Aunt Jenna, The Vampire Diaries – Katherine is in the kitchen, chopping Uncle John’s fingers off, and you don’t notice? Horrible, useless guardian.
  • Lauren Tanner, Make it or Break it – Honestly the worst human being on TV right now. I get that she IS the drama for the show, and therefore necessary, I really do. But when you’re HAPPY that a 16 year old girl’s mother died (because the girl kind of deserves that kind of misery)? Lauren Tanner needs to go.
  • Henry and Alice, The Secret Life of the American Teenager – These two serve no purpose, except to tell the audience statistics about teen sex/pregnancy. A pop-up bubble would do the job just as well. Maybe even better.
  • Mona, Pretty Little Liars – She’s mean to Lucas. She can go die.
  • Everyone except Baze (and maybe Ryan), Life Unexpected – Baze is the only reason I’m going to watch this show in the fall. Lux is a whiny, ungrateful child, and Kate is a teenager living in a grown woman’s body. They are both bad people; Baze is too, but at least he can own up to it sometimes. Baze and Ryan both deserve better.
  • Booth’s love interest, Bones – Stop it. Just let them be together already. After five seasons of will they/won’t they, we’re all sick of it. Give the audience two years of Booth and Bones being happy together and then end the show.
  • Kate, White Collar – Oh wait, they did kill her off! Thank goodness!
  • Derek, Grey’s Anatomy – I know many people would scream over this, but it the idea of Derek dying has its merits. What a whiner! And you can’t say it hasn’t been foreshadowed (premiere of season 5). And with most of our star players coupled up, it would free up the center of the show, Meredith Grey, to get back into the game. She took a back seat last season. Grey’s Anatomy was at its best before she was tied down. Bring back the drama.
  • Vanessa, Gossip Girl – Time spent on Vanessa is wasted. We have a more interesting “nice girl,” Serena.
  • Lily, How I Met Your Mother – No one should really die on this show. That’s not its tone. But if we were to pick a main character to snuff it, it would be her. Sometimes she is weird and sometimes she is a spoiled brat. The others are easier to describe. Her characterization is weak. And since they got rid of her cute red hair after season one, she looks fake.
  • Artie, Glee – He’s boring. Well, maybe HE isn't boring, but his episodes and stories are. Every episode with him as a focus is a bummer. Plus, they give him lame songs. We can't even tell if he can sing.
  • Kenny, South Park – Why did they stop killing him? That was a great gag. I miss it.

We’re not doing any reality shows because, well, that would be mean.

9 comments:

  1. If Derek dies, I will... do something dramatic.

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  2. And at least that would get a reaction from the viewer.... It would be nice if, rather than killing him, they found a way for Meredith and Derek to become interesting again. I hope this new season takes them back to dark and twisty places. And by dark and twisty, I don't mean babysitting the drunk chief, haha.

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  3. No, I like them being boring and happy. I like getting to see the "happily ever after" part. I think there is still lots of room for them to progress as a couple without doing the dark and twisty thing. She just had a miscarriage, so... maybe they'll keep trying and eventually become parents? Maybe they'll adopt? Build a house?

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  4. Hmmm. That's true. I too like to see nice endings to romances. I think that you are right that they are going to build a house. I think that's something that will happen.

    But while pregnancies and house-building are riveting stuff in real life, I feel like sometimes they can be boring on TVv. I want happy ever afters on Grey's. But is it best to make your MAIN character live out a happy ending for many seasons?

    I guess we will see.

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  5. I can think of some weeds characters that I've lost all sympathy for....

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  6. Like who? We have sympathy for Silas and Andy, but Nancy and Shane deserve whatever they get. We don't want them dead though...They entertain us. DOUG. We could kill Doug off and be happy. Celia is off the show, or we would say her too.

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  7. yep DOUG, you read my mind, he's just gross.

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  8. as for happy endings- a shows drama doesn't have to come from roller coaster relationships, for example FNL's Eric and Tami,...ok I can't think of any others but there must be some?... I wish there were, we always need some models of good behavior!

    Maybe you can do a post on TV's healthiest couples....

    oh- The Bartletts from The West Wing, and Clarks parents on Smallville....

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  9. Anonymous- You could add the O.C.'s Cohen's to that healthy couples list. That's a good idea. You won't finder bigger supporters of the marriage relationship/true love than us. However, the Grey's Anatomy writers have not show that they can write a compelling long-term relationship like FNL's Eric and Tami. They break everyone up, every man except for Owen and Jackson have cheated, and their "forever" couple, Meredith and Derek, have been dull for a year. We hope they get it right with M & D and Cristina and Owen next year.

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