New Shows We're Going To Skip Next Year (Unless We Hear They Are Amazing)

• The Millers, CBS: Will Arnett should only be Gob. Or he should hire people to pick better shows for him.
• The Goldbergs, ABC: This is like a loud, unfunny, unnecessary version of The Wonder Years, which is on Instant Netflix if you want to watch it instead.
• Star-Crossed, The CW: Lame. We already have Roswell.
• We Are Men, CBS: Man-children who are looking to get laid? Snore. It's these kinds of shows that perpetuate dumb gender stereotypes and keep rehashing the same jokes over and over. You can't beat Workaholics. Let it lie.
• The Originals, CW: We don't know how this show will ever be a hit, because people who don't like The Vampire Diaries probably won't watch the spin off either. Also, people who DO like TVD already know how annoying and whiny The Originals are. Hopefully the show makes it so those characters never return to TVD again and that show can regain its glory. We're not watching it though.
• Dracula, NBC: Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Ugh. We had enough of his terrible acting in The Tudors.
• Ironside, NBC: Another cop drama. Ho hum. But now a cop is....IN A WHEELCHAIR. Groundbreaking (sarcasm). Wake us up when someone comes up with a premise that's worth picking up a remote for. You can never replace our beloved Southland.
• Sean Saves the World, NBC: This network is trying to become CBS, and we don't like it. That preview was grating.
• Welcome to the Family, NBC: Just not interested.
• About a Boy, NBC: The movie was enough. There are plenty of movies that would make better TV shows.
• Chicago PD, NBC: A spin-off of a show we already don't watch or like? No thanks.
• Enlisted, Fox: Somehow, after watching The Invisible War, a comedy about the military just doesn't seem like something we could get into. The military isn't inherently funny. It's flawed, dangerous, and something that we really respect people for going into anyway. We can't laugh at that subject. Army shenanigans just feel gross when you think about how 20% of servicewoman are raped, the military is so based on power structure, and people give their lives serving...it's just not appropriate. Unless we hear it's reeeeally funny.
• Mixology, ABC: A minute in and the preview had the line "the higher the heels, the looser she feels." That is NOT TRUE. Girls almost always want to wear heels. It's not a come hither thing most of the time. Girls take into consideration how far they will be walking, if they want to dance, if they will be standing a long time, what shoes go well with the outfit, how much they plan to drink, etc, when deciding to wear heels. Not everything is about whether a girl is trying to get a guy. It also talked about how a guy should feel happy for the chance to replace his ex with someone with a bigger butt. If that's the sort of material this comedy has to offer, we're out.
• Dads, Fox: We like you, Seth Green, but you need to NOT be in a show from the writers of "Ted." That movie was not funny.
• The Family Guide, NBC: Looks a little too cornball. Love JK Simmons though.
• Trophy Wife, ABC: This is the one we might be wrong on. So far, we're not interested, but if and when you watch the pilot, let us know if we should give it a shot. The title isn't exactly a draw. Decent cast though.
• Mind Games, ABC: Whatever its appeal to execs, we don't get it. We'll keep our ears open though.
• The Night Shift, NBC: Grey's Anatomy is enough medical drama for us. It's still pretty good.
• Undateable, NBC: God, save us from shows about a man showing other men how to get girls, as if there is some formula that will work on all (or even most) women. You're looking for a person. That likes you as a person. As you are. TV is lying to you. You don't have to have "game." Just be nice, confident, and talk to girls. That's it.
• Back in the Game, ABC: This reminds us of that Amy Adams/Clint Eastwood movie we hated. That wasn't exactly a blockbuster, so why does ABC think we'll like this kind of thing any better on TV?
• Betrayal, ABC: Revenge's lame second season put us off of soaps for a while. Plus, it will only run for a few episodes.
• Lucky 7, ABC: Some people win the lottery. And? Winning the lottery isn't an interesting premise unless WE win the lottery.