Doctor Who update

Y’all. We are disappointed in this show going into the third season. It’s just not nearly what it’s hyped up to be on tumblr and among awesome nerds everywhere. Sure, we like the Shakespeare references (Sycorax) and even a few of the characters, but the plots and pacing are torture. Now we don’t even have Rose to distract us from the monotony and tedium that piggyback on this show, dragging it down.

This is like the quality equivalent of a soap opera, only it’s for nerds rather than old ladies. We feel like we aren’t allowed to say that, due to the number of cool people who love this show passionately. Let’s just say that we expected a lot more and are still waiting for it to get good enough for us to care.

Does the show get better or change at all? When have we watched enough to decide it’s not for us? We want to give it a fair shot. What do you think? We want to know when you’d say, “Well, if you don’t like it by now, you’ll never like it.” Don’t hate us!!!!!

We did really like The Empty Child and the episode after it though.

Doctor Who- season two, episodes 8-13

The Impossible Planet and The Satan Pit

What happened: The Doctor and Rose arrive on a planet that’s orbiting a black hole, which they previously thought was impossible. They are on a base with a crew that wants to drill in the middle of the planet. The crew is served by a race called the Ood. An earthquake causes parts of the base to fall into the planet, and the TARDIS was in one of these parts. The crew refuses to drill for the TARDIS and continue their own project. The Ood start talking about a “Beast” that will rise, and a crew member is soon after possessed by this Beast’s consciousness. The Ood are possessed shortly after that. The Beast is freed. The Doctor goes into a pit on the planet and talks with the Beast. The Beast tells the Doctor that he is the great evil of several religions (he looks just like Satan). His physical form has been sealed inside the planet, but his consciousness escaped. The Doctor causes the Beast and the planet to fall into the black hole, while Rose works to keep other things from being sucked in. The Doctor finds the TARDIS and leaves with Rose.

What we thought: Things started out promising, but then the episodes quickly lost our attention because ONCE AGAIN this story didn’t need to be two parts. We liked the Ood and the black hole. But Satan? Come on. The Doctor didn’t need to find Satan unless they were going to make Satan interesting or actually scary. Nothing about this was dark enough, unique enough, or frightening enough. The Devil in Mel Gibson’s Passion of the Christ was way ickier and better. There was so much middle in these episodes, and there may have been too much talking. The possession tried to spice things up, but the crewmember just looked like a reject from the Jim Carey movie The Number 23. We also don’t think Rose and the Doctor needed to be separated so much in this episode. Rose should have done Ida’s job. It’s cool that Rose can be a bad ass when he’s not around though. Too bad this episode pretty much told us she’s going to die or something. That’s not a shock, actually. This season started out so well, but the last couple of episodes have put us to sleep. It’s time to rally, show.

Episode grades: C

Love & Monsters

What happened: A group of nerds, including one named Elton Pope, are obsessed with the Doctor and meet to talk about him. But then an alien comes to lead their group, posing as a man named “Victor Kennedy.” He wants to find and absorb the Doctor, so he has Elton befriend Jackie to get close to Rose/the TARDIS. Elton decides this is a bad idea though and just wants to get closer to geeky group member, Ursula. Victor absorbs most of the group members, and the Doctor shows up just in time to help Elton beat Victor. Ursula has to spend the rest of her days as a piece of tile though. Elton takes her home with him.

What we thought: This was a pretty fun episode, for an hour that didn’t have much of the Doctor or Rose in it. We liked Elton and his musical group, “Linda.” Victor’s true form was nasty, if hilarious. We liked all the weirdness, like Ursula ending up as pavement. This was one of the more entertaining episodes, even if it was a little dumb, and it was fun to see Jackie and Elton almost sleep together. The foreshadowing that Rose might get hurt by the Doctor was seen again. Uh oh… There wasn’t a whole lot of running around in this episode, so the pacing was good. We liked seeing Moaning Myrtle too.

Episode grade: B-

Fear Her

What happened: It’s the 2012 Olympics and the Doctor and Rose are in London. A girl named Chloe causes people to disappear when she draws them, so children have been disappearing. The Doctor realizes Chloe has been possessed by an alien (well, a bunch of them put together) who relates to Chloe’s loneliness. Rose finds the aliens’ pod and powers it so that the children reappear and the alien leaves Chloe. Also, one of Chloe’s drawings of her evil father comes to life, but Chloe’s mother helps get rid of it.

What we thought: Everything at the end of this episode was lame and cheesy. It had okay moments, but it’s our least favorite so far. The idea wasn’t bad, but the execution was boring. We were not amused or inspired or anything by the Doctor grabbing the torch.

Episode grade: D

Army of Ghosts and Doomsday

What happened: The Doctor and Rose find out the London is infested with ghosts. The Doctor is disturbed by this and tracks their origin to Torchwood. The organization’s director, Yvonne, shows the Doctor a big, round ship that has arrived. Turns out, the ghosts are Cybermen coming in from the parallel universe and the sphere is full of Daleks. The Daleks and Cybermen start fighting. And, oh yeah, Mickey is back from the parallel universe, and alt-Peter Tyler came too. The Doctor wants to open the breach and push everyone into the parallel universe, including Rose and her family. Rose doesn’t want to leave the Doctor, but the breach pulls her in anyway. The Doctor manages to say goodbye to Rose. It’s sad. The Doctor returns to his ship to find a confused woman in a wedding dress.

What we thought: Well, Rose didn’t REALLY die, like we thought she would. She’s just officially dead in our universe. Most of what makes this episode sad is her reaction upon being separated from the Doctor. She was pretty hysterical. We’re glad the parallel universe stuff turned out to be important, otherwise the show would have wasted our lives for two hours with that stuff. We are so sad that this wasn’t compressed into one episode though. Think how good it would have been had there not been so much walking around Torchwood and loud shooting scenes. We only want to see lots of fighting if it’s COOL. We can’t have much hate for any episode with so many robots though.

Episode grades: B

Doctor Who- Season two Christmas special and episodes 1-7

The Christmas Invasion

What happened: Rose and the tenth incarnation of the Doctor go back to Rose’s original time and place. The Doctor collapses and is carried to Jackie’s house by Jackie and Mickey. Rose and Mickey are attacked by Santa Claus robots (because it’s Christmas, we guess). The Doctor wakes up long enough to tell them that he needs to rest and the energy from regenerating brought enemies here looking for him. As it turns out, these baddies are an alien group called the Sycorax, and they want to take over Earth and enslave half of its population. Prime Minister Harriet Jones (last seen the first time we saw the Slitheen) balks at that and goes to the Sycorax ship to negotiate. The Sycorax have demanded surrender, or they will execute 1/3^rd of the population. Rose, Mickey, and Jackie hid with the unconscious Doctor on the TARDIS just as the Sycorax transport the TARDIS onto their ship. The Doctor wakes up just in time to save 1/3^rd of the population and challenge the leader of the Sycorax to a duel for the planet. The Doctor wins and lets the ship go, but Harriet Jones calls on something called Torchwood to destroy the departing Sycorax. The Doctor views this as murder.

What we thought: Can it be that we miss the old Doctor a little bit? After all the complaining we did? We’re sure this one will grow on us. Mickey is really starting to get on our nerves. He doesn’t want to hear her stories about the Doctor and the TARDIS? He sucks. No, Mickey, she’s never gonna stay. We liked that Harriet made such a bad call and is now something of an enemy. It was interesting. Is her political career over? Torchwood really interests us. We’ve heard hints of it in a few episodes. We’re glad Rose’s angst about how the Doctor has changed was short lived. He’s not THAT different. His ears are much smaller, and for that we should be grateful. The Sycorax aren’t going to make our list of “top ten best Doctor Who baddies,” were we to ever make such a list. The swordfight was a little silly.

Episode grade: B-

New Earth

What happened: The Doctor and Rose go billions of years into the future, after the Earth was destroyed by the Sun. Humans have built a New Earth, much like the last one. There, the Doctor and Rose go to a hospital and Rose faces Lady Cassandra again. She has stripped her back skin and made something of a resurrection. Cassandra possesses Rose’s body and meets up with the Doctor. Together, they find hundreds of humans that were grown by science, only to be infected with diseases to help the medical staff find cures. Thousands die every day. Cassandra releases several of them, but then they all get out and roam the hospitals like zombies. One touch infects people. The Doctor cures them with the help of a disinfecting shower. The Doctor then orders Cassandra out of Rose. Cassandra moves into her slave, Chip, but then his body fails. Cassandra decides to accept death and be grateful for the beautiful years she lived. The Doctor gives her a final gift: He takes her back in time to see herself in her last good days and pay herself a last compliment. The Doctor also converses briefly with the Face of Boe, who has information for the Doctor…later.

What we thought: We love the Doctor’s new trenchcoat. The fashion on this show has greatly improved. Rose’s hair is better this season too. It would be weird to fall in love with someone and have them change bodies and parts of their personality overnight. Of course, we all change eventually, slowly, but that would be confusing so quick. Lady Cassandra!!!! We missed her. When the Doctor and Rose slid down that cable cord, it would have burnt his legs something awful, Time Lord or not. Why were the Doctor and Rose so nice to that treacherous Lady Cassandra? She got nice, wise, and sensible overnight. We guess it was nice…but we didn’t really buy it. How lame and shallow is it that she was so touched by her own damn compliment? Cassandra is fun. We’re sad she’s dead. The acting in this episode was fantastic and really fun because both David Tennant and Billie Piper had to play Lady Cassandra. Billie was especially good. Ern thinks this episode is conclusive proof that cats are the Devil.

Episode grade: B

Tooth and Claw

What happened: The year is 1879, and the location is Scotland. The Doctor and Rose run into Queen Victoria on her way to the Torchwood Estate, which has been taken by a bunch of monks who want the queen to get infected by a werewolf. They provide the werewolf, naturally. The werewolf chases everyone around the estate for most of the hour, but then the Doctor figures out that the estate was designed to defeat werewolves. Victoria is scratched or something by the werewolf, contracting a blood disorder. Even though she’s grateful to the Doctor and Rose for saving her, Queen Victoria doesn’t think she’s classy, so she banishes them. Then she founds the Torchwood Institute to defend the kingdom from otherworldy forces.

What we thought: We love how just anything can show up on this series. Orange-clothed ninjas, androids, zombies, diseased people, and talking strips of skin/trampolines. Anything. There sure is a lot of running around on this show. The Doctor spends a lot of time getting chased. No wonder he’s skinny. The running around dragged this episode down a little. We thought the husband was pretty cute, so it was sad when he got eaten by the werewolf. We’re sure his wife was sadder though, natch. You have to love a cult built around a werewolf. The CGI was, as always, hideous, but we’re starting to find it endearing. Tell us the secrets of Torchwood, show!

Episode grade: B-

School Reunion

What happened: When Mickey sends word of suspicious activity at a local grade school, the Doctor poses as a teacher and Rose works as a lunch lady. They realize that the French fries make students more intelligent and harm the kitchen staff. Mr. Finch, the new headmaster, has replaced the staff and had great success educating the kids. A journalist, who just happens to be a former companion of the Doctor’s, comes to investigate. She still has her robotic dog, K-9. The gang joins with her and find out that the teachers and headmaster are Krillitanes (aliens) seeking to use the children to get full control of time and space. Mr. Finch offers the Doctor a place with them, but he declines and takes all the kids out of the school. K-9 blows the Kirllitanes and the school up. The Doctor offers his old companion a place on the TARDIS, but she turns him down. Mickey, however, asks to join and is accepted. The Doctor gives his old companion a new K-9.

What we thought: We did NOT like seeing an old companion. First of all, we don’t know her, since we aren’t going to watch Doctor Who episodes from decades ago. Not no way, not no how. Second of all, it was sad. It made Rose feel insecure. How could it be satisfying for people who loved the Sarah Jane Smith character and her dog? Seeing her sad that the Doctor left her? It’s just a bummer. She took it all well in the end, but man. Maybe we’ve got it all wrong and it was a great nod to the show’s history and the older fans. The episode plot wasn’t that interesting either. We could have done with more scenes of the Doctor teaching schoolchildren. Also, there was all that running around. This show should be called, “Doctor Who Runs Around While Things Chase Him.”

Episode grade: C+

The Girl in the Fireplace

What happened: The Doctor, Rose, and Mickey land on an old spaceship that has “time windows” where you can peer into and enter a woman’s life. The woman is the gorgeous Madame de Pompadour/Reinette, a French king’s mistress in the 18^th century. The Doctor through a time window to meet her when she was a child and saves her from a “clockwork man” hiding under her bed, scanning her brain to see if she is “ready.” The Doctor goes back to his time and figures out that the clockwork men are droids that are stalking Reinette and checking in with her every couple of years to see if she is “complete.” The droids need Reinette’s brain to fix their abandoned spaceship. Reinette falls in love with the Doctor, and he saves her from the droids.

What we thought: We like the TARDIS with three passengers, but we don’t like that it’s Mickey. How many rich, aristocratic black women were there in Paris in the 1700s? There should have been some, but we doubt there were. It’s weird how the Doctor is portrayed as more of a player this season, and we don’t think we’re fans of that, but it was funny when he came out singing “I Could Have Danced All Night.” Poor Rose. That’s two episodes in a row she’s learned this lesson. The Doctor doesn’t have a one-and-only. He’s so old and immortal that many women enter his life, even though he never seems to bone any of them. How does Reinette know what her voice sounds like? It’s not like she’s ever heard a recording and we sound a lot different in our heads than to others. She got to wear the most fantastic dresses. Too bad we can’t dress that way now, or we’d get made fun of. Maybe Reinette was smart and accomplished, but we can only get so choked up about someone’s mistress (not very). It was a VERY creative idea for an episode and there wasn’t as much chasing, so that’s good.

Episode grade: B

Rise of the Cybermen and The Age of Steel

What happened: The Doctor, Rose, and Mickey are sucked out of the time vortex and into a parallel universe. They hang around London, where Rose’s father is still alive, but her parents never had her. All of the people wear little ear pieces, but they are not so much a source of information as an evil plan by a man named John Lumic to turn all the humans into Cybermen. John Lumic ends up dead, of course, his plan thwarted. Mickey decides his place is in the parallel universe, helping to defeat the last remains of this enemy, and that Rose loves the Doctor more than him. Mickey stays. Plus, his gran is alive there. The Doctor and Rose approve. Then they leave.

What we thought: Parallel universes, eh? Because other planets aren’t enough? In this one, Barty Crouch, Jr. meets Barty Crouch, Sr. That’s a nice reunion. We weren’t nuts about this one. It was a two-part one, and we think in order to justify splitting one adventure into two episodes, it has to be a truly remarkable adventure. But hardly anything happened in the first half except set-up, and this wasn’t even our universe, so none of it really mattered. We did NOT need to see Peter Tyler again. His death and last episode was so touching that this couldn’t top it. We liked that Mickey’s alternate name was “Rickey.” Nice. We didn’t like that alternate Jackie was such a rhymes-with-punt. We’re glad to be rid of Mickey forever though. Seriously, he shows up way too much for someone hardly anyone likes.

Episode grades: C

The Idiot’s Lantern

What happened: Year- 1952. Place- London. Event- Queen Elizabeth II’s coronation. The Doctor meets a teen boy named Tommy who is angry at his dad for locking up his maternal grandmother. She is hidden because she has to face and seems drained of life. Rose traces the condition to a TV set store and meets Mr. Magpie, a man being controlled by an alien presence called “The Wire.” The Wire is using the TVs to eat minds and build a body. The Wire takes Rose’s face and mind, and when the Doctor finds this out, he’s pretty mad. He creates a device that shuts down The Wire’s activities. All the faces and minds are returned. Tommy’s mom kicks his dad out for treating her mother badly.

What we thought: We enjoyed literally nothing about this episode. There was nothing bad about it. It was just forgettable, and there wasn’t anything that made us smile. We almost liked when Rose told Tommy Connolly to go after his dad. We didn’t think the commentary was well done. What was this episode trying to say anyway? That we shouldn’t be watching too much TV? We love when TV SHOWS try to say that. It’s like, “No, you’re the culprit.” Was it about youngsters being allowed to rebel, stand, and be who they are? Was there political stuff here? In the end, we don’t care because this episode overstayed its welcome.

Episode grade: C-

Doctor Who, season one, episodes 11-13

Boom Town

What happened: Margaret/Blon the Slitheen teleported herself before getting blown up in the Slitheen two-parter, and she’s become the Mayor of Cardiff. She plans to blow up the town with a nuclear plant she’s having built in the Gelth rift from episode three. The Doctor parks the TARDIS in the rift to charge it up. Apparently, it can fuel the time machine. Mickey meets up with them right before the Doctor sees Margaret’s picture in the paper. They grab her and take her to the TARDIS, planning to bring her back to her home planet where she will be executed for her crimes. The Doctor takes Margaret to a restaurant for her last meal, and Margaret begs for mercy, explaining that she’s been corrupted from her youth by her criminal family. Margaret is able to mess the rift up and take Rose hostage, but then she gets a look at the heart of the TARDIS, she is transformed into an egg, ready for a fresh start.

What we thought: A Slitheen is back! We weren’t nuts about the last Slitheen episodes, but that was because there were two. This was just one story, so it went a lot quicker. Rose looks great when she runs, doesn’t she? Blon/Margaret is unlikeable, even when she’s at her best behaved, but she’s intelligent. We liked her conversation with the Doctor. We wouldn’t have let her go. Mickey can’t move on. That’s so sad. Jack is growing on us. That’s an awfully valuable, wonderful thing to happen to Blon/Margaret. Getting to live her entire life over again and hopefully make good choices. She didn’t deserve it. Maybe that’s what makes it cool.

Episode grade: C+

Bad Wolf

What Happened: The Doctor gets zapped and teleported to the Big Brother house in the future. Rose ends up on The Weakest Link. Jack is on What Not to Wear. The penalty for losing is disintegration. The Doctor breaks out of the Big Brother house, taking another contestant, Lynda, with him. Jack escapes too, and the three run to save Rose. Rose is disintegrated right as they get there. The Doctor, Jack, and Lynda are arrested, but they escape and find out that Rose and the others weren’t killed, but teleported to a station orbiting the Earth. Rose wakes up- surrounded by the Dalek. They are the ones behind all this.

What we thought: Yay! A reality TV spoof. They did so well with the news a few episodes back, and they did well with this too. It was hilarious that the penalty for losing these shows was death. In real life, it wouldn’t be funny at all, but it’s Doctor Who. So it’s a pretty nice twist. There was great continuity here too. The Doctor seemed to be getting smarter and makes fewer mistakes since the first couple of episodes. We liked that, but then we found out that one whole episode was a huge mistake. Time is touchy. You have to be careful what you change. We liked Lynda. Nothing wrong with sweet. The Doctor’s reaction to Rose’s disintegration worked well. We didn’t believe she was permanently dead for a second. It’s funny that Jack is bisexual. More Daleks. Interesting. It ends on a cliffhanger. Man, this show really loves the two-parters.

Episode grade: B

The Parting of the Ways

What happened: After vowing to save Rose, the Doctor gets to work. He and Jack take the TARDIS into the Dalek ship and meet the Dalek’s “god” who has bred new Dalek from human bits and wants to take over the world. Fun! Jack and a group of humans band together to war against the Dalek while the Doctor takes Rose back home. Rose has trouble going back to normal life and gets pretty hysterical, but she recognizes messages left by herself, for herself. They help her take steps to get the TARDIS working again and go back to the future. She looks into the heart of the TARDIS and gets power. She uses that power to save the Doctor, but almost dies. The Doctor saves her, but he has to die and then immediately come back with a new body. Jack briefly dies, but Rose and the TARDIS power raise him back to life.

What we thought: Aw, this episode title is the same title of an insanely great Harry Potter chapter at the end of book four. Harry Potter was so good, it hurts to think about it. There’s a Harry Potter connection here. The new Doctor is Barty Crouch, Jr…from the fourth movie. Anyway, this episode was pretty good. There was a lot of waiting for the action to start and preparations for battle. We’ve grown to really love the funny Dalek voices. It’s cool how they were brought back. They are more hateful and insane than ever, and it makes sense. Jackie’s reaction to finding out Rose met her father was disappointing, but she was cool in the episode, overall. We’ve grown to like Jackie. We would have been sad to see Jack go, but it would have been a good death, and we appreciate when shows kill characters off. There aren’t consequences to this show sometimes, because everyone just comes back. Rose is so awesome. There was some sweet stuff between her and the Doctor, and we liked the kiss. While we left this season not hating Christopher Eccleston, we will be happy to see him go. We’re glad we got through this season. It was rough there toward the beginning.

Episode grade: B

Doctor Who, season one, episodes 9-10

The Empty Child and The Doctor Dances

What happened: Ooh, this is hard to sum up. It's another two-parter. The Doctor and Rose follow an alien ship or something to London in 1941 during the German Blitz. The Doctor and Rose are separated, and Rose meets Captain Jack Harkness, a con man who can also travel through time and saves Rose’s life. Rose gets quit the little crush on him, but his main intention is to sell them what’s left of the ship that crash landed in the area. Jack and Rose (tee hee) have a date. The Doctor finds a woman named Nancy who cares for and feeds orphans. He also sees a child wearing a gas mask who keeps asking, “Are you my mummy?” But the Doctor is warned by Nancy not to touch him, because that would make the Doctor “empty,” like the child. The child has touched many people.

Nancy sends the Doctor to Albion Hospital where he finds Doctor Constantine, who tells the Doctor that the child is Nancy’s little brother, Jamie, who died after bombings. Jack and Rose go to the hospital as well, and all of the patients wake up (with their scary gas masks) and start walking toward the Doctor, Rose, and Jack. Doctor Constantine has touched the victims, so he is turned as well. Meanwhile, Jamie is walking toward Nancy, arm outstretched. The Doctor yells at them all to go to their rooms, and they back off. Then they all run around the hospital from the gas maskers for a while. We find out that Jack used to be a Time Agent, but he had two years erased from his memory. Nancy goes to check out the alien wreckage that’s being guarded by British soldiers, but she’s caught and arrested. Doctor, Rose, and Jack come and free her.

They find the space thingy. Two things: 1) It’s an ambulance and it heals people with things called Nanogenes, 2) It tried to heal Jamie after Jamie was blown up, because Jack sparked it, but instead it turned Jamie into the first Gas Masker, and 3) the Gas Maskers will tear the world apart looking for Jamie’s “mummy.” The Doctor deduces that Nancy is Jamie’s real mother, hiding it because she didn’t want to be a single mom in the 40s. The Doctor tells Nancy to come clean with zombie, empty, half-healed Jamie. She does and the Nanogenes fully heal him…and everyone else infected. Then Jack sacrifices himself to get a bomb into space and out of London, but the Doctor and Rose invite him onto the TARDIS, saving him. Also, the Doctor dances.

What we thought: Even though this show retains its humor and the Doctor is still happy all the time, the camp has been replaced by genuine creepiness. We’re so happy about this. Nancy was remarkably awesome. We loved when she made fun of the size of the Doctor’s ears and nose. Jack wasn’t our type. He was like a mix of Harry Connick, Jr. and Tom Cruise, looks-wise. He’s better looking than the Doctor though. Gas masks are inherently frightening. Why didn’t the Doctor KEEP yelling at the nasties and tell them to go to bed? They just started running from them.

We’re starting to think the Doctor’s crush on Rose is cute. Rose seems a lot older than 19. It was so sweet when she told Nancy the Germans don’t win. It was also sweet when cute Jamie was okay. “Come on. Give me a day like this.”This show did the thing again where it touches us in the feels. (Damn you tumblr, for making us think and talk like that.) We laughed at the lady whose leg grew back. We thought Jack was really going to die. He would have gone out well. We don’t know that we like him as a new companion, but we’re going to trust the show. Love triangle? Best episodes so far.

Grades for both episodes: B

Doctor Who season one, episodes 6-8

Dalek

What happened: A distress signal takes the Doctor and Rose to 2012 (which was in the future back when the show aired). There, they find a businessman collecting rare artifacts, including aliens that he experiments on. He has the last Dalek. All the others were killed in the Time War between the Daleks and the time lords. The Doctor shows his vengeful side when confronting the Dalek and almost killing it. Rose takes pity on it and, without knowing what it is, lets it escape. However, the Dalek takes a bite of her, and that gives it feelings and leads to its ultimate suicide. One of the businessman’s employees, a young British man named Adam, boards the TARDIS with Rose and the Doctor, joining them.

What we thought: We loved the scene where the Doctor first met the Dalek. He sure gave way too much away to the businessman about his history though, didn’t he? The Doctor is always making mistakes like this. You’d think after 900 years, he’d learn to be more careful. The Dalek was an R2D2-lookin thing with a high-tech plunger for an arm. The Dalek was expressionless. We were wishing it were an alien. This seems like a pretty big enemy, and having some powerful alien that could manipulate electricity would be nerd perfection, plus it would have more of a personality. You don’t want your villains stiff. So, we were happy when it opened up and there was some snot-covered squid/intestine being with an eyeball.

This one was actually exciting sometimes. There was some level of gravity to the situation. This was a good story with some nice themes and emotion. Yeah, a great deal of the episode involved people standing there and shooting at the Dalek, which got old. But its suicide was cool. Some of the dialogue in the episode was poorly written, but the actors made it work. This episode was easier to watch than past episodes. It moved quicker. We’re still on C-levels though.

Episode grade: C+

The Long Game

What happened: In the year 200,000, a big nasty aliens has control over humanity and uses the news media to keep humans from asking questions. The Doctor and Rose stop it, with help from a woman named Cathica. Adam is no help and almost gets them all killed in his greed.

What we thought: We love Rose’s outfit in this episode. Well, more than her other outfits, anyway. She always dresses like she’s Kurt Cobain. It sounds like she’s had a few more offscreen adventures and travels. We get that change is hard and the culture shock must be massive, but Adam should know how lucky he is to be able to do this. Adam hints that the Doctor and Rose might have a romantic relationship at some point. We don’t know how we feel about that…maybe it would be alright. We’re not loving the idea though. Maybe we’d be more for it when the Doctor gets a new body. We hear he does that. J

How long did it take Suki to walk to her new position? Too long. A person could get bored. We liked seeing the woman from Episodes in this. Cathica should have replaced useless Adam. Just dropping him off with his mother was the next best thing. We loved the end, where his mother snapped her fingers and his head addition was revealed. Hehe. The conspiracy plot of this really worked for us, as did the commentary on how crappy our news is. This one was fun to watch. Either this show is growing on us, or it just got better. This episode was creepy too and not at all cheesy! But it still had humor.

Episode grade: B-

Father’s Day

What happened: Rose manipulates the Doctor into going back to the day her dad died when she was a baby, telling him that she just wanted to be there when he passed. Once there, she saves her dad’s life. This rips a hole in space and time, and nasty creatures show up to kill all of humanity. On top of that, Rose’s dad is kind of a selfish, cheating loser. The Doctor has a solution to the monster problem that would keep Rose’s dad alive, but the Doctor is eaten before he can carry it out. Then, Rose’s dad sacrifices himself to return things to normal, thus redeeming himself and becoming a good man and father. The Doctor tells Rose to hurry to her dad’s side as he died. Rose sees a young Mickey, and he falls in love with her at first sight.

What we thought: Is that two decent ones in a row? Things are looking up. Rose is such a cute little kid! In the present, they need to stop putting so much mascara on her. It’s looking a bit spidery. This was the first big fight between Rose and the Doctor. Rose made a big mistake. The Doctor was really hard on her, but she deserved it. We found out that the Doctor doesn’t mind changing time on his normal adventures, but doing it selfishly in a planned way is against the rules. We want to know why he doesn’t harm time and draw the creatures when he changes time. It would be really sad to hear that your parents didn’t love each other and your dad cheated on your mom. It would suck even more if you got a bunch of people killed to save that deadbeat dad you should never have known. It’s cool that Rose got the truth AND ended up with a hero for a father.

We love how the Doctor jumped up and down when the TARDIS appeared. He has traits that are like a little kid. Christopher Eccleston is getting tolerable. When he got eaten and the key dropped, we were impressed that the show took the tension up a notch. We should have realized the dad would sacrifice himself, but we didn’t until it was obvious. When the dad said goodbye to Rose, we were touched. We cared. Maybe it was the acting. We didn’t think we were that attached to Rose, but anything with parents loving their children packs some kind of punch. We can’t quite explain why this episode worked so well. It would have gotten a better grade had we had a full explanation of why the Doctor’s antics didn’t bring those nasties. This episode proved that this show could bring the emotion easily, at the drop of a hat, in one hour. That makes us excited for future episodes after the characters are even more developed.

Episode grade: B-

Doctor Who- season one, episodes 4-5

Aliens of London

World War Three

What happened: These episodes go together, as a two-parter. It’s all one story. Rose and The Doctor try to return to the present to say hi to Rose’s mom, but they accidentally show up a year in the future. Jackie has put up “missing daughter” posters all over London and accused Mickey of doing away with Rose. Jackie is livid, but then everyone is distracted by an alien ship’s crash landing. The Doctor investigates and finds out that the ship and its inhabitant were just distractions. The real aliens have been on Earth for quite some time.

The Doctor and Rose get taken to 10 Downing Street after a phone call and internet search alerts the government to the Doctor’s presence, but it’s a trap set by the aliens to get all the “alien experts” in one room, so they can kill them. The aliens reveal themselves as the Slitheen, but have trouble killing the Doctor. There are fights and chases. We find out that the Slitheen are here to make a profit by impersonating the Prime Minister, nuking the Earth, and selling the rubble to planets where it would be valuable. With the help of Mickey and Jackie, the Doctor launches a missile into 10 Downing Street, killing the Slitheen.

Rose and the Doctor are also helped by the female future prime minister, a caring, bumbling, self-sacrificing woman named Harriet. The Doctor asks Mickey if he would like to join them, but then rescinds his invitation after Mickey displays cowardice at the idea of always being in danger. He doesn’t do it in a mean way though. The Doctor also gives Mickey a computer virus that can destroy all references to the Doctor and his TARDIS on the internet. Jackie says goodbye to her daughter and allows her to board the TARDIS.

What we thought: We haven’t yet mentioned how much we like the opening credits and theme song, which is a lot. We also haven’t mentioned how much we like Rose Tyler. She comes across as a real young girl, not some female stereotype, and she’s not at all annoying. In short, she’s not her mother. It’s crazy how the Doctor sometimes doesn’t get the time and destination right, but it’s funny. Actually, so far he usually doesn’t get the time and destination right. The beginning was great. We liked that the Doctor and Rose revisited her home, mother, and boyfriend. You guys know how much we enjoy continuity. It helps us get into the character, big picture, and overall story.

Our mothers would be so livid if we ran off with a old guy for a year, with no word. We wouldn’t be sitting with them and watching the news that night, that’s for sure. They would demand an explanation. Jackie cried a little though. We liked the emotion there. So, the Doctor travels because he wants to witness history? That would be a good enough reason for us to do it, but for a TV show, we sort of wish he had more of a purpose. The fart jokes sometimes interfered with the intensity and obviously the seriousness. Once again, the special effects leave a lot to be desired, but points for effort and design.

We like the Slithens’ voices and names. So rarely in life do we get to see alien villains with demon voices AND English accents. Don’t even get us started on their awesome laughs. We like when Mickey calls Jackie “Jacks.” We also like typing the word “TARDIS.” Our main problem with this episodes is that we’re not sure that this really needed to be two hours. It dragged out what should have been a fun, entertaining romp. The show is still a little silly for us. There needs to be more mythology and more seriousness. 

Episode grades: C- for both

Doctor Who- season one, episodes 2-3

The End of the World
Okay, it's time for us to play some major catch up because this show is starting soon. We probably won't be ready by the premiere, but maybe we can be ready by the third episode of the new season. This blog will be spamming you with Doctor Who for the next couple of weeks, but we will try to post about other things too.

What Happened: In this episode, the Doctor lets Rose choose their next destination, Rose picks “the future.” The Doctor wants to impress Rose, so he takes her five billion years forward to the Earth’s scheduled end date. The humans have all left, and the last living on is just stretched skin with a mouth and eyes. Her name is Cassandra and she’s a real bitch. 

There is a party for the end of the world, attended by many aliens. Cassandra releases spider robots that almost kill everyone, but the Doctor stops them. There’s a nice tree person who dies helping them. We learn that the Doctor is the last Time Lord, and his planet and people were destroyed in a war that they lost. This upsets him.

What We Thought: We liked the commentary where Rose said that because Cassandra has altered her body so much cosmetically, she’s not human. Strangely enough, we can imagine a future where women value being completely flat. We liked the use of the “Traditional ballad.” It was Toxic by Britney Spears. HA! We appreciated finding a little more out about the doctor, and we liked him a little more in this episode than in the pilot. We also thought this episode was pretty funny. 

We loved Cassandra, especially her snooty voice and racism. Of course that would still be a fixture in humans billions of years from now…of course. We preferred this episode to the plastic pilot, but we’re not hooked yet. The middle of this episode was slow. We know this show gets good though. It has to. You don't get this level of nerd obsession from something lame.

Episode grade: C

The Unquiet Dead

What Happened: The Doctor and Rose travel to Cardiff 1869. They immediately run into a zombie old woman whose corpse escaped from the local funeral home. The corpse went to attend a performance of The Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens and ruins the reading. Rose is taken to the funeral home by the owner, Mr. Sneed, and his assistant, Gwyneth, because they think Rose has seen too much. They have a problem with corpses getting up and leaving, and they think the place is haunted. The Doctor and Charles Dickens track them down just in time to save Rose from some Zombies.

The Doctor checks things out and finds that there’s a rift in time and space somewhere on the property. Meanwhile, Rose and Gwyneth bond by talking about boys and how they both hated school. The Doctor gathers them all for a séance. Gwyneth, who has some psychic powers, connects with the beings making the trouble. They claim to be the Gelth, aliens who lost their bodies in the time war. The Doctor pities them and pushes Gwyneth to open the rift, letting the Gelth come in and use the bodies of the human dead. Rose doesn’t think this is respectful, even if it will save a race.

Gwyneth stands in the rift and the Gelth use her as a channel to come through. The Gelth decide to kill all the humans and take all the bodies. Sneed is killed and his body taken. The Doctor realizes he made a mistake and apologizes to Rose as they back away from the zombies. Charlies Dickens finds out that gas sucks the Gelth out of the bodies, so he turns on all the gas jets in the house. Dickens, Rose, and the Doctor escape right before Gwyneth blows up the house by lighting a match, thus saving the world.

What We Thought: This episode is another C, but we liked it. The best thing about travelling back in time is Rose is going to get to wear lots of cute outfits like this. We love the fashions of yesteryear. We liked when Dickens said, “What the Shakespeare is going on?” because he’s not the saying yet. Actually, there were a lot of clever little lines. It’s cool that the Doctor can make mistakes and has twice now. It makes him more of a character and less of a demi-god. This one wasn’t as funny as the last one, but it had a better story. It suffered from a lack of Lady Cassandra though. We think this show has pretty good villains so far. Well, except for the plastic thing in the pilot. This one was dark and possibly a little scary. You know, if you’re easily scared or a child.

Episode grade: C

Doctor Who - Rose (Season 1, episode 1)

By BBC [Attribution], via Wikimedia Commons

We’re starting Doctor Who. We’re not going back to, like, the 60s when this show started. We’re starting with the 2005 incarnation. We are anxious for the doctor to change incarnations because we aren’t digging Christopher Eccleston yet. We meet Rose, a blonde girl who dropped out of school, has a crappy job, and isn’t really in love with her dull boyfriend.

Her mom is really annoying. When Rose goes to her job, shouting for a “Wilson” in a truly amazing English accent, mannequins start attacking her. She is saved by The Doctor, a man who talks fast and moves faster. She ends up taking a mannequin arm home. The Doctor shows up at Rose's house the next morning just in time to save her from the plastic arm. The special effects on this show aren’t great, at least in 2005 (the first season of the reboot).

The Doctor disappears and Rose goes online to research him. She finds a father in a suburban neighborhood who is obsessed with The Doctor. He tells her that The Doctor is a time-travelling alien. Rose decides the guy is crazy. Meanwhile, Rose’s boring boyfriend gets taken by the plastic forces and replaced with a plastic doppelganger. Even though he looks like he’s been dipped in shiny chocolate, Rose doesn’t notice he’s not himself for a while.

The Doctor figures it out and defeats Plastic Boyfriend. The Doctor says that forces from another planet are controlling the plastic and making it evil in an attempt to take over the world. The Doctor has to find the incarnation of the plastic forces and kill it with anti-plastic. The Doctor shows Rose his ship, the TARDIS, which can travel through time and confirms that he is an alien. Rose helps The Doctor find the plastic consciousness, where they also find Boring Boyfriend still alive.

The Doctor tries to reason with the plastic thing, instead of killing it instantly. The Doctor is grabbed by a mannequin, while Rose and Boyfriend look on for too long without doing anything. The plastic invasion starts. The mannequins start killing people. It’s very Mars Attacks. Finally, Rose gets it in gear and uses her gymnastics skills to free The Doctor and kick the antiplastic into the pit where the consciousness is. It’s pretty hard to explain, for something so stupid.

The Doctor asks Rose to join him as his time travelling companion, and she eventually agrees, ditching her entire loser life (mom and boyfriend included) to go on adventures. Because, duh, of course she would. We totally would too. So far, this show is truly nerdy and has potential as a cult series (obviously, since we know now that it’s a cult series). Hopefully it can suck us into the cult, but it isn’t doing it yet. It’s going to have to get better. And less stupid. Or, if it keeps the stupidity, it needs to be funnier.

So far, what we like is the funny parts, the fast talking, and the way The Doctor cares about humanity. It’s pretty zany and reminds us a little of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, the book. Does anyone know how long we should give this show to lure us in? It must get awesome because tumblr goes hard for it. They are also obsessed with Harry Potter and Supernatural, both things of which we approve. Also, one of our most awesome friends told us to get into this.

Episode grade: C-