Revenge- Season 2, Episodes 11-12

We triiiiiiied. We've dropped and picked up this show so many times. We just don't care anymore. After these two weeks, we've decided that Sunday is too crowded with amazing shows, and this one just doesn't cut it. Game of Thrones will join them in a few months. Maybe if this show were on a Friday. This show should have been a miniseries. We WILL check in on season finales and any other episode that actually gives some progression/answers. We feel like with all the mini missions and unimportant things that happen on this show, we can catch up adequately on the recaps and just jump into when people FINALLY realize that "Emily" is really Amanda.

Sabotage: C-
Collusion: D-

Revenge- season 2, episode 10

Power- This episode more resembled the season one revenge plots. It had a nice, tight story arc with none of the confusion of the first half of this season. This episode worked for us because of the judge's wife. That was a good story, we loved her bravery at the end, and we were touched when Amanda thanked her for writing a letter that gave her hope during hard times. Everything with Amanda, Aidan, Daniel, and the Graysons was gold this week. We loved the fake-up Amanda staged with Aidan in front of Daniel. We love that Amanda is trying to get Daniel into a fake relationship again and that she kissed him. Of course, she will develop feelings for Daniel...again...and a real triangle can emerge. We're girls. We love a good triangle.

Sunday midseason finales: The Good Wife, Once Upon a Time, Revenge, and The Walking Dead

By Arnold Gatilao from Fremont, CA, USA (Jennifer Morrison) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

The Good Wife- Battle of the Proxies
Nick is gone! Thanks for the Christmas present, CBS. That character was a dud and so was the plotline. We're curious to know how Kalinda got rid of him. We doubt she killed him, but with a storyline that dumb, one never knows. We don't even care what happened to him. In fact, one way for Kalinda to get her mystery back is to have the show just never tell us what she did to protect Alicia. He's gone. No one cares about him. Showing her killing him would be stupid, but anything less than his death would be unsatisfactory (unless the writers have a creative solution of which we can't conceive). Just leave it at that. Kalinda has ways we don't know about. Ways we can't fathom. Stand in awe. Our main complaint about this episode was the lack of Cary. Alicia needs a new love interest at some point too. For a midseason finale, this one was awfully quiet.

What an interesting case to save for the end though. This is one legal show that puts real, intelligent thought into its scenarios. Amanda Peet has Will nailed. Not literally, but it's probably just a matter of time. We can't believe Alicia's kids were so mean to her when she tried to have The Talk with them. Actually, we can. Our parents are cool cucumbers, like Alicia, who we respect, and we even snap at them sometimes. No one wants parents up in their grill, even after high school. Alicia messed up though. Now Grace is probably going to have sex with Bobby. Did Alicia send Grace the message that it's a little expected for Grace to start considering sex? It was cute and hilarious when Zach and Alicia found out that the real sex maniac was Jackie. Peter's campaign is in trouble and Eli is in a tissy. What else is new?
Episode grade: B

Once Upon a Time- Queen of Hearts
As saccharine as it all was, this episode touched us, especially when Emma's heart threw out Cora. Will Emma have more powers in the future? Jennifer Morrison looked prettier than usual in this episode, for whatever reason. Regina didn't get the results she would have wanted from her redemption, but we love seeing her come this far. One of our concerns with this series was that the good and bad guys would be fixed, uncomplicated, and stock characters. But this show isn't afraid to take them from their archetypes and grow them, making room for surprises like Red being the wolf or the "evil queen" being unselfish. We loved the ending too.

Hook is such a little poop. His aggressive "flirting" during his fight with Emma was just disgusting. Who is writing his part? If they are trying to get us to hate him, it's working. As sweet and fulfilling as this episode was, the best part was Hook and Cora sailing toward Storybrooke. As villains, they probably aren't scary enough, but we can't wait to see them face off against Rumpy and Regina. We'll give them a chance to prove that they can cause real trouble. We like that the midseason finale got the whole Charming family back together. A separation storyline isn't as interesting as an all-out war storyline, especially when we are repeatedly assured that they will always find each other.
Episode grade: A-

Revenge- Revelations
This wasn't a bad way to wrap up the first half of the season. It wasn't good, but neither was most of this season so far. The events were a little depressing. Daniel has control of Nolan's company, because Nolan wanted to protect Amanda that much. Wow, that's a great friend. Too great of a friend. David Clarke must have been one hell of a mentor. We hope Ashley wasn't anybody's favorite character (we truly doubt it) because she probably isn't anymore. Her actions in this episode were pathetic, but we can all likely agree that we're glad she and Daniel are broken up. We welcome a triangle between Daniel and Aiden. Jack is just too sweet and clueless to make an intriguing triangle point and be competitive enough to make a fight for Amanda exciting.

It seemed like the Jack/Amanda ship was endgame from the first season, but now that he has a baby with Emily, he seems sort of tainted as a love interest. Plus, he has Declan and gave rise to this season's most boring material, in our opinions: the drama with his dead father's enemies. We had hoped this episode would end that arc for good, but it seems we'll have to contend with it next year. Much more exciting is the idea of the Initiative, the terrorist group that started it all, trying to control Daniel. Daniel isn't as pure as the driven snow as he used to be, but he's not evil, he's smart, and he has good intentions. Heck, the guy is a literal poet. He's going to be horrified when these people start contacting him.
Episode grade: B

The Walking Dead- Made to Suffer
Darryl!!!!! Oh no! We saw the preview for February and he was still running around, so supposedly he lives, but we still don't like to even see or think about the risk of losing our favorite redneck of all time. We have five new characters in the prison, and we're alright with that. With all the people dying, they need to be replaced. We want the show to keep trying out characters and only keep the ones we like (and occasionally kill one of them as well). AMC needs to learn how to write women we like. Maggie is a start. We actually don't hate Andrea, even though a lot of people do since she started sleeping with the Governor, a choice some deem as "gross." Carl is a pretty good little leader, as shown by this episode. At first, we didn't buy him as a bad ass, but he's growing on us.

The battle was okay, but the real action was the fight between Michonne and the Governor. Thank God Michonne put his poor daughter out of her misery. That was a gnarly fight. As disgusting and sociopathic of a person the Governor is, one of us is kind of attracted to him. If he had raped Maggie, that attraction would be completely gone. But he didn't, so there it is. We wondered why the Governor turned on Merle so fast, but then we remembered that Merle lied to him about Michonne being dead, and the Governor probably doesn't want to deal with Merle's whinging about his brother. RIP Oscar. You won't be missed that much. Can't wait until February. We just want an answer as to what the Governor is doing with all those heads. EXPLAIN THE HEADS.
Episode grade: B+

Dexter keeps the right character alive, Revenge gives us a little history, The Walking Dead is so freaking good, and Once Upon a Time needs to move it along

Dexter- Helter Skelter
The only lame thing about this episode is that after two weeks of us falsely thinking that LaGuerta knows that it's absolutely Dexter, she still doesn't know and is investigating names. It's realistic to have her doubt that it's Dexter and look through all the boat owners, but since Deb was acting so squirrelly last week and the show has been teasing us with this for a while, we thought maybe last week sealed it. No dice. LaGuerta is working with the old captain to find information on all the listed law enforcement personnel. From the looks of the preview, La Guerta lands on Dexter next week.

We have yet another new baddie. An arsonist. We love the way Dexter handled Deb's love compassion, brushing it off in a socially inept way. We also love that Hannah didn't die. We thought she would and that would ignite the Deb/Dexter romance we've been dreading, but it looks like Dexter is really in love with the living Hannah. It's not like we are into Hannah so much as we just need her around to keep Dexter from pulling a Jaime Lannister. We were sad to lose Isaak though. And surprised. Like we've said before, we love that actor. It was cool to see Dexter try to protect him. We're worried for Quinn. This Nadia thing can't end well. Can it?
Episode grade: B+

Revenge- Lineage
Lots of this show's fans from last year are whinging that it's stupid this year. We maintain that it's no stupider than it was last year. It's like everyone is just now realizing that it's an overacted, ridiculously plotted, slow-moving soap opera. They call it a guilty pleasure for a reason, folks. It wasn't much of a pleasure this week either, except for watching Amanda save Ashley from sex trafficking. We wonder how often Ashley and Amanda met before the show's starting point, if at all, and how much Ashley is aware of. No matter what, it's good to see the show make Ashley useful. The mission was cool, but completely outlandish. The Jack stuff was a complete waste of time, but watching Victoria square off against her evil mother and Conrad ruin his son's poetry career was pretty fantastic. The show needs to stay away from Nolan's corporation drama. No one cares. This moved the plot almost nowhere and was just backstory that no one really wanted, but it was entertaining. Stupid, but entertaining.
Episode grade: B-

The Walking Dead- When the Dead Come Knocking
Glenn has been our favorite character since the show began for a reason. He's so bad ass. We don't hate Maggie for cracking at all, especially since she did it for Glenn, but it was a little annoying that it was a woman who broke. Normally, it wouldn't be annoying, but since AMC fans seem to hate all the women on the channel to an irrational degree, we hate to give them more ammo. Still, Maggie is a far cry from Skyler White, Betty Draper, or Lori Grimes. It's the lack of nagging that will save her from the wolves. It's also fortunate that they kept quiet long enough for Rick and the others to infiltrate. Judith is a gross name. We wanted the next episode so badly, but we have to wait.
Episode grade: B+

Once Upon a Time- Into the Deep
Leeard and many others thought this was an amazing episode. Ern was a little less impressed, but still, it was pretty good. It's getting a little too saccharine that Charming and Snow keep talking about how they always find each other, and the other characters have started saying it too. Captain Hook can rip out hearts? In other news, there are zombies on this show now.
Episode grade: B

Once Upon a Time goes back to Red, The Walking Dead emphasizes that Rick is a Man's Man, Revenge gives us what we want, and Dexter makes LaGuerta more important

Angela George [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Once Upon a Time- Child of the Moon
We love that Red didn't stay with the pack for very long. She learned what she needed to know, and then she picked "herself" and Snow. King George is pretty cold. Killing Billy the Mouse, framing Red, and burning the hat? He's about to top Rumpy and Regina, who are bad guys we actually like and feel for. King George is the most one-dimensional villain on this show. It's fine to have one though. Charming is a much better leader and man this season, because David is pretty dead. We have yet another realm: the realm between the living and the dead. Aurora and Henry can go there, and Henry can kick ass there. Why does Rumpy like Henry? Because he's a kid? Hopefully the diamonds and fairy dust lead to mroe characters being able to use magic. We love the loyal, friendly females on this show. Snow, Red, Belle, Emma, Aurora, Mulan...They keep popping up. Take THAT, "women are catty and two-faced stereotype."
Episode grade: B

The Walking Dead- Say the Word
After Rick cried last week, he has to make it up to he-man viewers by expressing his grief by chopping down some zombies. Sorry Rick, we'll never forget that you were the pretty boy from Love, Actually that made everyone with ovaries swoon with those signs. The manlier thing to do would have been to help everyone deal with the aftermath and the baby. Could we love Daryl more? No. He saved the baby, gave her the first bottle, and...named her? We hope Lil' Ass Kicker sticks. At first, we thought the zombie Rick had found was Lori and the bullet didn't do its job. But then he stabbed it in the stomach, which probably means it was a zombie that had eaten Lori's remains. Nasty. This show is having trouble topping the bloated zombie in the well (as far as grossing us out goes). We could not love Michonne more. EW the Governor's yucky daughter!! That was sick. This episode was anything but boring, just like the rest of this season.
Episode grade: B+

Revenge- Penance
Things are too convoluted on this show. Conrad should have been killed off a long time ago. Someone finds out which Amanda is the real one, and he isn't even shocked enough for it to feel satisfying. Mason thought Emily and Amanda were lovers? We wish he had just jumped to the right conclusion immediately. This show is stalling for time. Nolan proves his devotion to Amanda; Daniel proves he isn't useless. We are so bored with both Padma and Ashley at this point. Kara the mom amounted to nothing. Amanda is taking way too long to get revenge. But none of our complaints thus far matter, because Aiden is back in with Amanda. He was snogging her at the end, as he would probably say. Yay for hotness!
Episode grade: C+

Dexter- Chemistry
The big development for us was LaGuerta associating Dexter's name with the Bay Harbor Butcher. After Deb dropped the subject, LaGuerta is probably wondering why. What a twist! The other big development was Deb asking Dexter to kill someone. Unfortunately, it's Hannah, and we all know how that's going to go from the previews. Poor Deb. One of the fun things about Dexter is that he lives and works near us. One of us actually lives ten minutes away from where the criminals kept Nadia for a while. It's fun to hear references to the familiar, and the show is true to Miami. Poor Price. That death came out of nowhere. Deb has the worst luck with men. Dexter needs to be careful. If he sticks around Hannah for long enough, she will probably try to kill him too.
Episode grade: B+

Once Upon a Time, Walking Dead, Revenge, and Dexter

By Kristin Dos Santos from Los Angeles, California, United States (Image:Prison Break Cast.jpg [1]) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Hello creatures. We've been having internet problems, but we're back.

Once Upon a Time- Tallahassee
Not only did Hurley's presence this week remind us of LOST, so did the episode title. One of those writers must have spent a lot of time in Tally...God knows why. Bleck. Go to Gainesville instead, readers. When Hurley thumped out as the giant, we cackled. There's nothing fearsome about that guy, even if they make him larger. We were impressed that Hook could climb the beanstalk. We didn't feel bad for him in the end. Supposedly, he will be released soon, and he was also being a total sexual harasser during the entire adventure. Emma is so stupid. She should have had Hurley hold Hook for a month, not ten hours. He's going to catch up and become a problem. We liked Henry and Aurora's identical scary dreams. Nothing like dark prophecy to spice up a fantasy.

We finally got the backstory on Henry's dad, Neal, who August convinced to abandon her for her own good. Neal really loved Emma! What was in the box?!! Is this show going to pull a Pulp Fiction and not tell us? We're pretty sure it was neither a soul nor gold. This episode was good for Emma's character development. We got to see why she is the way that she is (annoying). She was jilted, abandoned, and spent time in prison. They did a good job making Jennifer Morrison look younger. That's about as good as it's going to get. We are left to ponder who we ship Emma with: Hook, August, or Neal? We're thinking Hook would be the most interesting. Or Rumpy's son.
Episode grade: B

The Walking Dead- The Killer Within
No zombie baby, but there were major deaths this week. No one likes the wives on AMC (except for some people liking Megan Draper), so everyone should be happy that Lori is gone, right? We're really not. Her death was sad sad sad. Her speech to Carl almost got us tearing up. Rick's reaction was devastating. The first half of this episode was dull, but it ended like a finale. Heck yes. This season is doing everything it can to win us back. We liked the show starting to alternate between Andrea and the original group. Not a whole lot happened with Andrea and Michonne though. That was set up for later. Andrea is going to regret her little crush on the Governor. Is it a crush? Michonne is predictably smart. RIP T-Dog, who has been replaced by a new black man, Oscar. He seems cool. Carl having to shoot his mom's body was messed up. We're in a terrible mood from watching that, but we'll admit the episode was pretty good.
Episode grade: B+

Revenge- Illusion
Aiden and Amanda go to the Grayson wedding together. While Daniel dances with Amanda, Aiden and Ashley share a dance. Now, we know the normal viewer was watching Daniel regret the end of his relationship with Amanda, but since we are so focused on the new hottie, we sensed an odd closeness between Aiden and Ashley. They are both British. They are both sneaky as hell. They are totally in cahoots. We know it. That's what's going down. Because you know this show wouldn't spend so much time on boring Ashley unless she has a secret of her own. Aiden tries to get Amanda to trust her again, and looks like he's going in for a kiss. He's all "I've changed." She tells him to leave. Is she a real person? With, like, a libido and everything? Doubtful.
Episode grade: B

Dexter- Do the Wrong Thing
When did LaGuerta turn into a brilliant cop? So inconvenient for everyone and WE LOVE IT. Oh Quinn...you had other options here. Helping Isaak get released was a new low, but at least it was to rescue Nadia from human trafficking. We hate human trafficking. Deb dating a true crime writer is also a dumb move. This episode suffered because Dexter's investigation into Hannah took too long. We knew she was a killer already. We didn't need to watch Dexter confirm it for that long. Hannah kills people rather than get attached to them. That's a new spin on intimacy issues. We've got intimacy issues of our own, but damn...they aren't that rough. We're not sure if we ship Hannah and Dexter, but we're just so happy Dexter's love interest this season isn't Deb.
Episode grade: B

Back to blogging: Once Upon a Time, Dexter, Homeland, The Walking Dead, Revenge (x2)

By Keith McDuffee (Michael C. Hall) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Homeland- Q&A
When Breaking Bad ends, this is the show we will tell people is "the best show on TV." So, if you're not watching it, we don't know what you're waiting for. If you're on this blog, you obviously like TV. Get after it. For those of us lucky enough to turn in last night, we were treated to a well-acted, eventful hour. We weren't nuts over Carrie's overt confessions of love. For some reason, we like when that love is angsty, physical, and unspoken. It's kind of a soap-opera, contrived element to have Carrie be in love with this terrorist, her main suspect.

We also didn't like Finn running over the woman and leaving. If he had stopped, his daddy would have just paid the woman's medical bills. But hitting and then running is a big deal. Idiot. Most of the episode took place in the interrogation room. We were salivating during the whole thing. We couldn't believe the show was giving us these moments this soon in the series, let alone the season. Carrie did perfectly, and we were right to like the genius, cutie new guy, Peter Quinn. Can Carrie fall in love with him instead? He's way more deserving. We like that Carrie attempted to turn Brody instead of wear him down. This was another game changer.
Episode grade: A+

Revenge- "Intuition" and "Forgiveness"
In last week's episode, Aiden sneaks off to confront Kara, but she knocks him out and ties him up. It takes him most of the episode to free himself, but he's hot, so that's okay. He gets back to Amanda's just in time to hug her when she's crying, because she's upset. In other news, Nolan isn't gay. What. In this week's episode, Amanda pushes Aiden away, so he conspires with Daniel to oust Conrad and make Daniel the boss. Hopefully this leads to more adorable fighting, rife with sexual tension.
Episode grades: B+ and C+

Once Upon a Time- The Doctor
Whale is revealed! And no one would ever have guessed that it was Dr. Frankenstein, right? Did they just plan that for Halloween? That's not even a fairytale. We don't mind this show dipping from different pools though. It's can't just be all Disney. We already have Disney, and those stories are pretty great. We've got a "man of science, man of magic" dynamic going here? That was more interesting on LOST. It was awesome how Daniel ripped Whale's arm off. Take that, family friendly limitations! It's time for this show to get a little oogier.

This episode wasn't the norm for this show, and we're not sure how we feel about that. We're really liking Hook. He could get to be an interesting grey-area character. He's capable of love, but also evil. Those are the best guys in entertainment. Make him Byronic, show. We don't like that Regina is trying to not use magic at all. Magic is just a tool; it's not evil in itself, even in the universe of this show. What matters is what you do with it.
Episode grade: B

Dexter- Swim Deep
Well, we have another good one. Hannah enjoys murder. Maybe she's the right match for Dexter after all? Unfortunately, she doesn't kill for righteousness, and it looks like she's going to be Dexter's next target. Naw, he'll probably start out hunting her and end up banging her. We could use a season of Dexter trying to reform a fellow serial killer. That's something we haven't yet seen. We like Quinn, but it may be time for him to die. He's sticking his neck into danger and taking money again. This show has too many side cops. We can't believe Dexter landed Isaak behind bars. We love when our main characters act cleverly. Isn't it annoying when characters get themselves into trouble by thinking beneath their expected intelligence level?

Poor LaGuerta should have kept hating and distrusting Deb. Good news for us though...actually, we think it would be cool if the show ended with Dexter getting caught. It was a great moment when Deb emphatically declared Doakes to be a good man. She really knows. The cursing in the elevator was hilarious and so Deb. Her behavior this season has gotten her back in our good books. We're so happy about this season. We can now forget last year ever happened. Nothing important really happened either. If anyone watches it, they can just skip last year.
Episode grade: A

The Walking Dead- The Call from the Governor
Speaking of show comebacks, after two years of stereotypical characters, annoying kids, boring talky episodes, and no direction, this show has become what we want. It's taking steps toward being a genuinely great show. This stuff with the Governor could not be better. He's creepy, evil, power-hungry, possibly complicated and loving (his picture of his family) and he KEEPS FREAKING ZOMBIE HEADS IN AQUARIUMS IN A ROOM. Splitting into two groups is good for the show because when things get too bleak over in the main group, we can go into this totally different, equally interesting storyline with Andrea and Michonne.

We're glad we got an explanation as to why Michonne toted the zombies around. Michonne is still shrouded in mystery, which is good. We hope the backstory is worth the wait. We love her already, even though we know almost nothing about her except that she's bad ass. Soooo Merle's back. He's probably still racist, but he didn't act racist toward his fellow black soldiers and Michonne. He's being charming (for Merle), but we bet he's in for a bloody death this season. This season hasn't had a stinker of an episode yet. We're starting to trust it. We're glad we started watching it again.
Episode grade: A

Revenge back on this blog weekly

So, Ern has decided to watch Revenge with Leeard again. We saw the most recent episode, and Ern decided Aiden is really hot, and he has a great chemistry with Amanda that she didn't share with the other guys. Ern wants to see more of this. We'll review two episodes Monday to make up for this week.

Basically, we will watch shows we otherwise hate for hot guys.

This has been proven time and time again.

We watched Once Upon a Time, Dexter, The Walking Dead, and then Homeland. Revenge shouldn't have had to follow that.

Once Upon a Time- The Crocodile
In the first ten minutes, we knew we were going to like this one, despite its characterization problems. Belle, Rumpy, Rumpy's wife, cute preschool Bae, and guyliner-wearing Captain Hook. It was nice to see Helena Peabody from The L Word. She's so pretty. Her character, Milah, didn't totally gel for us. We liked that she regretted leaving Bae, but we need to know why she married Rumpy in the first place, and we also need a flashback episode with her where she isn't so heartless toward people she's not in lust with. Our confusion at Milah's behavior is nothing compared to our head scratching over Belle's father's antics. You can't just have people act crazy for no reason and have us believe them as characters. We don't think it was cowardly for Rumpy to turn down the duel (even though he's been cowardly in other episodes). It was smart, because if he had lost, who would raise Bae? We're glad Belle finally grew a pair. Librarian is the perfect job for her. This episode was a clever twist on the Captain Hook story, introduced a good new antagonist, and entertained us. If only Moe and Milah had acted like humans.
Episode grade: B

Dexter- Run
We didn't like the romantic feelings between Deb and Dex resurfacing, but seeing Deb bait that criminal until he confessed made us love her again. Deb was being ridiculous about the Rita stuff, and Deb's mostly upset about Dex because his condition means that he might not be able to love her. That forced suicide was so sad, but such a gripping scene. We also loved when Dexter was being chased through the rigged building by Speltzer. We are dying to know more about Hannah. The baddies are closing in. We love that Dexter has grown out of his blood slides, and Deb was "glad" that Dexter killed Speltzer. We are so happy with this show lately. What a comeback.
Episode grade: B+

Homeland- New Car Smell
WHOA. This is the action version of The Vampire Diaries. Whenever you think this show is going to drag something out, it hauls out gamechangers in the middle of seasons. This might be the biggest one so far. The previews for next week have us squealing, but let's talk about this week. Carrie is back in the game, hopefully permanently. We love the hot new guy, Peter. He's blunt and upfront, yet sympathetic and perceptive so far. Carrie will not back down, ever. Confronting him against orders was so right-on, and yet such an unwise move. We loved it though. Dana and Finn are perfect. Finally, a Finn we can get behind. This show is not afraid to change itself, move forward, and tell new stories, rather than repeat itself and keep us waiting for big, gripping scenes.
Episode grade: A+

The Walking Dead- Sick
How hilarious was it that the inmates didn't know half the world was wiped out? Hershel's daughters crying over him broke our hearts a little, so we're glad he lived. We're hoping he doesn't mope around, get all depressed about his leg, and drag everything down. It was disgusting when Carol practiced the C-Section on a walker. We guess that makes them useful for something. We're not Lori haters, believe it or not. We're kind of over people calling the AMC wives "bitches" and wishing they were dead. We're glad Rick was nice to her. It's weird to see Carl all independent and capable now, especially since he still speaks with that stilted, annoying tone so prevalent in child actors on TV. This season hasn't been boring yet! Yay!
Episode grade: B+

Revenge
We tried to watch this right after that great Homeland episode and only got 15 minutes into it. We think this show has lost its week-to-week status here. We will still watch it (it's worth watching), but we will do it five episodes at a time/let them pile up, and we'll talk about the season at the end. One of us hates this show and one of us won't blog it weekly alone.

Revenge, The Good Wife, 666 Park Avenue

So, the shows we watch Tuesday nights weren't on because of the debates. Mmmmeh. We still have a TV-related post because we're behind on some Sunday shows.

Revenge- Confidence
Declan, student loans suck, but they're better than stealing. Moron. We hope he dies. He's replaced Charlotte, who is totally tolerable when she's far away from Declan it seems, as our least favorite character. It looks like Jack is going to get into trouble being indebted to the rich, "forgiving" robbery victim. Complaint: nearly everyone overacts on this show. This is a total soap opera, except things actually happen in each episode. Victoria and Conrad should just stop having scenes together. They are ridiculous. Conrad sounds like he should follow up everything he says with a "Mr. Andersonnn." (Matrix reference)

We like Aiden, but does Amanda really need yet another love interest? He reminds us a little of Heath Ledger. That could be a far-out thing to say though/maybe it's just us. We're glad this episode ended Jack's relationship with Emily, even though it was a stupid, mean reason for him to end it. We also met Amanda's mother. Yay! Still, it's hard to take this show seriously, especially this week.
Episode grade: B

The Good Wife- Two Girls, One Code
In the dullest episode of the season so far, Kalinda's husband threatens her girlfriend, and we all groan that this plotline (possibly the worst in the show's history) is still going on. The case of the week was okay, and it's nice to see Will doing well, but we weren't on the edge of our seats. Alicia's personal life was the sole bright spot. Well, kind of. We really don't want her back with Peter. We want her to find someone better than both will and Peter. It's okay if she stays with him throughout the campaign, but after that, can she please find someone worthy of her? The best part of the episode was when Diane and Nathan Lane got in a fight. They are equally matched when they raise their voices.
Episode grade: B-

666 Park Avenue- The Dead Don't Stay Dead
Okay show. It's time to stop fooling around and tell a story. Never drive with both feet like Olivia does. Pick one foot. The right one. Everyone knows (or should know) this. The creepy stories of the week are becoming a strength for the show. So is Olivia's backstory.

The sad thing about this show is that we already know all the answers. We know it's about the Devil's apartment building. But we don't know Olivia's deal yet. She has a dead daughter. What is she doing with the Devil and why does she stay with him when she knows who he is? Olivia still retains some mystery, which is something this show sorely needs.

We also know the Devil has plans for Henry. What plans? To steal his soul? That's mundane these days. A problem for this show is if you're going to have the main antagonist be pure evil, you need some pure good guys to root for. In American Horror Story, you rooted for the mom. In Supernatural, you root for white knight Dean.

Here, we have a slightly boring couple. They aren't powerhouses for good that you want to see purge The Drake of injustice, suffering, and violence. If they died and a new couple were brought in, it would actually be a good thing. No one would bat an eye. We're giving this show two more weeks to grab us. We usually give a show that we think has potential five episodes to get good. Hopefully it isn't cancelled before it it does (if it ever will).
Episode grade: C+

Once Upon a Time, Dexter, Revenge, and Homeland

By Kristin Dos Santos (Flickr) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Once Upon a Time- We Are Both
If the characters leave Storybrooke, they lose their memories of their real selves? Wow, that IS terrible news. Emma kind of sucks at curse breaking even more than we initially thought. We're glad August is alive though. We always liked him. We really want Graham back, but we don't think we are ever getting that. It was stupid of the characters to want to leave. We don't think that's a realistic reaction, even if they are scared of Regina.

Will there be any consequences to Regina using magic like Rumple hinted there would be? It was smart of her to keep the grimoire. You never know what might come up. Sadly, it was probably more due to vestiges of evilness than wisdom. Regina looked great in the black dress she was working. Regina wants redemption. That's fine with us. There are plenty of baddies and potential baddies left who are more fearsome than she is.

We were literally just thinking two days ago that we wished that little girl would come back to this show and mimic Ginnifer Goodwin again. Too bad she was only in one scene and has clearly grown a lot in a year. When we realized this was a Queen flashback episode, we were disappointed. We wanted a sideways episode. We guess the Queen's story's second half wasn't told yet, and it needed to be, especially since Cora is back in the leads' lives.

It looks like Rumple is upset because he can't leave town and look for his son. No sight of Belle this week, which is weird. Charming called David out on being weak and confused, which was good because he was frustrating last season to the point of being unhot and sleezy. How dumb was it for David to promise Rumple that he wouldn't interfere with Rumple's actions? That's going to come up to bite him later. It was good to see Snow and Emma at the end. Mulan is a dick. She couldn't even listen to them before treating them badly? This episode wasn't as good as last week's, but it wasn't bad either.
Episode grade: B

Dexter- Sunshine and Frosty Swirl
It's good that Deb sat and listened to the whole story right away. We thought she was going to run away and Dexter would have to track her down and tell her about his life at the very end of the episode. This season is speeding things up and really helping the show catch our interest again. We loved Deb's line, "I am the worst f***ing detective in the world." Her reaction was good. They debated the merits of Dexter's coping mechanisms, and Dexter got punched in the face which, to be fair, he deserved.

We've been liking Deb a lot more since she became lieutenant. She's not even annoying us here when she's naively trying to undo nearly 40 years of Harry's hard work. There's no way Deb can save Dexter. This episode showed that Dexter can resist his urges as long as he believes there is hope for himself in the long term. His hope was shattered in the great last scene though. Deb should have taken Dexter in after he gave her permission. She loves him though. This arrangement can't last long. It's too co-dependent to even be a good idea.

Greene hates Dexter for the dumbest reason. Too bad Dexter didn't kill him. Greene is such an annoying creeper. There's nothing we love more than Quinn and Batista shutting down that strip club every day. We forgot that LaGuerta and Doakes were close. She now knows the Bay Harbor Butcher was probably never caught. Where is this going? The tension is high this season, and the show isn't wasting much time with the side characters. It's committed to a) problems for Dexter and b) setting up the big bad Miami Metro will be going after. We're so afraid it's going to get bad again, but we're happy for now.
Episode grade: A-

Revenge- Resurrection
One of the rich kids reached out to Declan, and Declan couldn't at least be friendly. He's the worst. Then the rich kid turned out to suck too. Nolan forgetting Padma is proof he's really gay. She's gorgeous. We like that he offered her the CFO job. He's such a maverick. In real life, that would be a bad move though. We can't believe Amanda lied to Emily about the test results. Victoria is back where she belongs. That didn't take long. Charlotte continues to avoid annoying us this season. We like that the mother stuff was tabled until the end. We aren't interested in another show that postpones the meeting of some mother. We need to see her in the present, not just in flashbacks in order to care.
Episode grade: B

Homeland- Beirut is Back
Who else loves that Saul gave Carrie a hug when he first saw her? We wondered if their first meeting would be icy because of all the craziness last season and Carrie's latest little rebellion. We were thinking, "Carrie needs to realize she was right about Brody soon, for her own sanity." Saul, Carrie is not listening to you. Ever. Just roll with it. The shooters chasing Carrie in the second half was intense and not something we've seen this show do much of so far.

Dana is one of our favorite characters, even now that she's acting out more. We like the emerging subplot where she is friends (and maybe more?) with Finn Walden. Jessica needs to become more sympathetic. Her love Mike is back, and he's obnoxious even though he happens to be right. We can't believe Brody saved Nazir. Alright, we can. But whoa. He's so toast when he gets caught. Speaking of: DID THAT JUST HAPPEN? In episode two of the season?!! Saul knows Carrie was right. Unfortunately, they gave a lot away in the preview for next week. It looks gnarly.
Episode grade: A-

Revenge- Destiny

By Kristin Dos Santos from Los Angeles, California, United States (cropped from Emily VanCamp) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

What happened: In a flashforward, we see that The Amanda will sink and a guy will die. Three months earlier, Amanda is training with Takeda and trying to unlock memories of her mother using near-death experiences, as you do. She remembers something and runs back to the Hamptons after being away for a year. Victoria is presumed dead. Charlotte lived and her father is keeping her locked up in rehab, arranging for her drug tests to come back positive after she is released. Papa Grayson is also trying to get both his children to put their trusts in his company, but they don't look close to caving.

Jack is still with Fake Amanda, but he knows he doesn't love her, so he's turning into an alcoholic who only wants to sleep on his boat. Declan's pretty fed up with the whole thing. To make matters worse, they failed their health inspection for the bar. Amanda tells Jack that he needs to get a paternity test, so Jack asks Fake Amanda for one. Daniel is also an alcoholic, and he's dating Ashley. Nolan took up martial arts and boxing, and he sold his house full of bad memories. He's bunking with Amanda for now and helping her with her current schemes, which involve getting close to the Graysons to find out about her mother.

Amanda figures out that her mother stayed in a mental hospital that closed down just days after her father's arrest. She goes to the abandoned hospital with Nolan and figures out that Victoria had her locked away. Charlotte tells Amanda that Victoria is alive and where to find her. Amanda meets Victoria and helps her free Charlotte. Amanda also plants a camera in Victoria's new little house. Victoria doesn't trust Amanda, so she asks White Hair to kill Amanda.

What we thought: One of the best things about this show is Victoria, so we knew she wasn't dead. They sure took a while to confirm it though, didn't they? We hate Ashley dating Daniel, because we like him and hate her. Not that we blame them. They're both good looking people. Gross, Charlotte is still alive. She's less annoying and more useful so far, but we don't trust that she'll stay that way. We like the guy who "saved" Amanda from drowning. Will we see him again?

Nolan wants to be a fighter now? He needs to drink a few protein shakes, but we have to say, he looks better. Can't Nolan help Jack and Declan fix up the bar? Daniel alerted us to the fact that he's supposed to wait until 5 p.m. to drink. Wait, what? We thought it was noon. Oops. The fashion in this episode made is quake with envy, as usual. When a girl tells you she's pregnant, and you're not married or engaged, always get a paternity test. Always. Find a way. Steal her hair. Chicks leave their hairbrushes just lying around all the time.

Is it crazy that we don't care much about Amanda's quest to find her mother? This isn't really an emotional show, especially since it killed the old dog, but we guess it's a soap and the mother quest might provide some good twists. A lot happened in this episode, and the time jumps weren't annoying, for once. We like that Amanda went away for so long.

Episode grade: B+

Revenge season one finale chat: Reckoning

Ern: !!!!!!!!!!!!

Leeard: ?

Ern: It's on. Der.

Amanda fakes a robbery to steal the Grayson evidence from Daniel.

Leeard: Ah. Amanda is the tits

Ern: I like that you are saying “the tits” now. Because I love saying it. I love how Daniel stopped the search for the intruder to give Emily a hug.

White-haired man takes Nolan and Amanda reveals her true identity to White-Haired Man.

Leeard: NOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

Ern: Man, this guy is serious. He was much nicer on 24. If this show takes Nolan, I will not be pleased. He is the Greek Chorus of this whole tragedy. I’m still not sure I root for Amanda, but yeah, I’d respect it too.

Leeard: Amanda is such a bad ass. 

Conrad shows up to search Victoria's house.

Leeard: Victoria is such a better villain than Conrad.

Ern: I thought Victoria was a little over-the-top in that scene, but generally, I agree.

Leeard: I think that’s the acting, mainly. Emily Van Camp is awesome in this role so far, and I loved her in Everwood, but I think it was one of several weird acting choices on this show. 

White-Haired Man and Amanda meet and she is taken

“As you wish.” The white-haired man loves Amanda. She's. A. f***ing. Bad ass.

Ern: Wouldn’t you just pretend to sniff the chloroform?

Leeard: He could probably tell.

Ern: I mean, I’d try that first.

Leeard: I wouldn’t. I think I trust him when he threatens to kill Nolan. She has a f***ing lockpick hidden inside her watch. She’s the best.

Ern: That really was a good idea. Too bad it didn't work. Who are you rooting for at this point? My list is: Nolan, Jack, and Victoria. They killed my damn dog, dammit. I'm still crying over that.

Leeard: a) It's not your dog. b) Amanda and Nolan. I kind of want Jack to just get the hell out of the Hamptons. 

Amanda has another lockpick in her clothes

Leeard: Oh my God, I love her. I knew Amanda would have a backup plan.

At Charlotte and Declan's snooty school...

Ern: Note that Charlotte and Declan are on neither of our lists. Declan is still the worst casting decision in the history of this show. I like Declan’s new girl. She seems smart and she’s less horse-looking than Charlotte. I love her curly hair.

Leeard: I love Charlotte’s hair.

Ern: It’s pretty normal. Smooth. Straighten yours and dye it that color.

Leeard: I do straighten it, thank you. I want it to look like that naturally.

Ern: Even hers doesn’t. And if I were picking TV hairstyles that I would just have naturally, I would have Aria Montgomery’s hair on Pretty Little Liars.

Ashley tells Daniel about the kiss

Leeard: People I’m NOT rooting for: Ashley.

Ern: Ashley has something up her sleeve.

Charlotte impersonates Victoria to get dirt on the new girl at school, then Conrad gives Lydia a present

Leeard: Duh. Ha, oh Charlotte, I like your Victoria voice.

Ern. Charlotte has been acting crazypants for too long

Leeard: I kinda like crazypants. Ugh, Conrad bribing Lydia. He’s so gross. They deserve each other.

Amanda and White-Haired Man fight

Ern: Amanda has an axe? Nice.

Leeard: She’s. So. Cool. Shit like this is why I’m rooting for her.

Ern: Amanda’s mother is so coming into play soon.

Leeard: Fight, fight, fight. Aaaand there go White-Haired Man’s balls. Slit his f***ing throat Amanda.

Ern. Agree. This isn’t the time for her to go all Batman. Actually, on second thought, I like that she isn’t a sociopath. It helps me get her more.

Leeard: I’m okay with her not killing him, but that was just…not payoff.

Ern: Something needs to happen to White-Haired Man. Maybe Conrad will do it. Lydia is a twat.

Leeard: Mmmhmm.

Victoria hears some devastating news.

Ern: Awww, Victoria didn’t know that Conrad killed David. This is why I root for Victoria. She was just trying to follow her heart and was too cowardly years ago to make things right. Now she's bad ass, doing a hot artist, and sticking it to Conrad.

Leeard: Conrad, I didn’t think it was possible for Victoria to hate you more. 

Daniel confronts his fiance about the kiss.

Leeard: Oh shit!

Ern: Daniel is not nearly angry enough. Ashley must not have made it clear how hot and wonderful that kiss was. I ship Daniel/Amanda, but I loved that Jack/Amanda moment last week. This the most real conversation Amanda has ever had with Daniel. I like it.

Leeard: Me too. I was just about to say: I love that she’s actually being honest with him. Well, as honest as she can be.

Ern: Wow, I can’t believe Amanda is ending this. The engagement is no longer a part of her plot.

Leeard: She liiiiiiikes Daniel.

Ern: I would too, if he stopped being Conrad’s pet retard. I would start rooting for him again.

Leeard: Word. I’m still kind of rooting for him. Like, rooting for him to stop being a Grayson.

Ern: I think he will get there. After the next commercial, can we pause it so i can get some food?

Leeard: Ugh. For how long?

Ern: Like, four minutes. I have to go to the fridge, heat a slice, and come back.

Leeard. I love how American non-American people can sound normal but have like one word or sound that totally makes me realize they’re from another country.

Ern: Okay, i have my food. Tell me when to play

Leeard: Play

Ern: Playing

Leeard: HA. Taxi-cab bounce

Ern: Who do you think is prettier, Lydia or Victoria?

Leeard: Hmm. Probably Lydia. Nolan and Amanda are freaking me out with this celebratory champagne stuff. I don’t like it.

Ern: Jack is totally dying.

Leeard: Someone is.

Charlotte then sends the gossip about the new girl to everyone in her school.

Leeard: Godd***it, Charlotte

Ern: What a bitch.

Leeard: Someone shoot that girl. Get it, Declan.

Ern: I might like him now.

Leeard: Pretty much. That was great.

Victoria comes to Amanda and Amanda opens the engagement gift.

Leeard: HA. I’m not gonna lie, I knew there would be nothing in there.

Ern: That's a pretty good diss.

Amanda goes to Jack and Emily shows up, pregnant.

Ern: Ugh, no.

Leeard: Godd***it! NO. OH F***. F*** F*** F*** F***.

Ern: This is the opposite of the tits.

Leeard: People I don’t root for, continued: The fake Amanda (Emily).

Ern: How is she even alive? Ugh.

Leeard: Seriously. Can I speak her name to Jaqen?

Ern: She is worthy to be one of the three.

Ashley and Daniel share a drink

Leeard: Ashley, if you get with Daniel, I will root for you even less. I really don’t like how they’ve pretty much dropped the Amanda/Ashley friendship, since that was Emily’s official introduction to the Hamptons.

Ern: Well, Ashley started being a bitch, and they were never great friends. Ashley has the worst type of English accent. It’s not even cute like they usually are.

Victoria to Charlotte on payback: It makes me feel good about myself when the other party deserved it.

Ern: Nice parenting, Victoria.

Leeard: Ha, yeah, she’s not exactly the best mom.

Conrad shows up to yell at Victoria again, and she has some good comebacks

Ern: Conrad sounds like Agent Smith on The Matrix. “Mister Anderson…..”

Leeard: Ha, I love Victoria. Love = solidified.

Ern. She is the best.

Leeard: No, Amanda is the best.

Ern: No, Victoria is better.

Leeard: No. How has no one died yet? This is making me scared.

Ern: They will.

Leeard: I know. That’s why I’m scared.

Ern: It had better be someone important too.

Leeard: It will be.

Victoria heads for her plane.

Ern: I love when TV uses this song ("Seven Devils" by Florence + the Machine)

Leeard: I want the plane to blow up.

Ern: No!

Leeard: But it would be nice mirroring to the terrorist plane crash.

Ern: That’s true, if all you want is mirroring.

Leeard: It’s not all I want, obviously. Ha! Hey White-Haired Man. Yep.

The plane blows up.

Ern: Ugh, I hate you.

Leeard: I don’t think Victoria died though.

Ern: No way. If she did though: balls.

Charlotte takes pills.

Leeard: Good. Peace out, Charlotte.

Ern: Die Charlotte! Die!

Leeard: Ugh. Dammit, Conrad.

Nolan tells Amanda he has a copy of the evidence.

Leeard: YES. NOLAN I LOVE YOU. Nolan is the f***ing tits.

Ern: Nolan!!!!!!!!!!!

Leeard: Momma Clarkeeeeeeeeeee!

Ern: Oh hey, now I have to wait all summer to find out about this.

Leeard: Um WE have to wait

Some people are saying that this show is the new LOST. We agree that the LOST heir will be nothing like LOST, but we don't think Revenge is it (yet). It is a good, addictive, twisty show, but it isn't as smart and it doesn't have that obsession-breeding factor. It does have an ensemble of characters that we both love and hate though. And it's on ABC. But it's the Stannis until we find our Gendry. Revenge is a good show, and it's the closest thing we've gotten on network TV to a LOST heir, but we think a better one will emerge, probably years from now. We want to re-watch season one and summarize it before season two starts, so be on the lookout for that.

Finale grade: A-

Leeard's season grade: A

Ern's season grade: B+

Revenge- Doubt recap/review

What happened- Daniel is still in a maximum security prison on Riker’s Island. The Graysons, their lawyer, Ashley, and Amanda gather to think of a defense for Daniel. They plan to pin Tyler’s murder on Emily, but since they can’t find her, Victoria decides to set up Jack in order to plant doubt in the future jury’s mind. Amanda advises that the Graysons contact Mason Treadwill to help them frame Emily, since she figures he will want revenge on her for burning down his house.

Victoria pays her hoodlum independent contractor to have some inmates at Riker’s beat Daniel up so that the judge will reconsider bail. Daniel is hurt after the beating and gets to come home, under house arrest of course. Victoria is miffed that the inmates did such a good job hurting Daniel (breaking some ribs, fracturing a face bone, and giving him a concussion), but she pays her henchman anyway. Amanda follows Victoria and sees the exchange. At the bar where Victoria paid her henchman, she meets an old flame named Dominick Wright, a painter. They go to his loft and have sex.

Mason stops by the Stowaway to accuse Jack and get his side of the story. Declan overhears this and tells Mason that Charlotte was high on the night of the engagement party to discredit her testimony that she saw a hooded man. Mason puts Declan’s information on a blog and destroys the Grayson’s defense case. Charlotte tells Declan to get out of her life. Victoria tries to get Mason to post a retraction, but Mason is over her. He doesn’t think she has any more power.

Nolan suggests that Jack go to Montreal to find Emily. Conrad knows that Victoria is having an affair and asks her to keep it discreet. Victoria goes back to Dominick and sleeps with him again. Amanda goes to the bar to flirt with Victoria’s hoodlum. She records him telling her all the Grayson secrets, leads him to a back alley, and then beats the crap out of him for attacking Jack and having Daniel beat up. Victoria plants seeds of doubt in Daniel’s mind about Amanda.

Comments- This episode was quieter than the last couple, but it was still awesome. FINALLY this show is back, seriously. That hiatus was way too long. It’s a testament to how good the show is that it got good ratings last night. Even being off the air for more than a month won’t make viewers forget this show exists or that they care. This show is the series that Ringer wanted (and failed) to be. We love that it stopped being a revenge procedural and turned into an ongoing serial. 

We loved the scenes where Victoria slept with Dominick and where Amanda beat the criminal up in the alleyway. They are both such powerhouse women that they are perfect enemies and perfect entertainment. Dominick turned out way hotter than Conrad, Victoria. Dayumm. Yeah, he failed as a painter and Victoria was more into money and power, but she had to regret that a little. Now she’s getting her cake and eating it too (literally).

We didn’t have much of Nolan this week, which is a shame. We don’t really care about Charlotte and Declan, but it stinks that he had to throw her under the bus like that. He did the right thing. It was true that she was high and it is true that Jack isn’t a murderer, but that was quite a burn. We knew Victoria had Daniel beaten up immediately. We like that Amanda did too. One of the things that makes this show good is that its characters are not stupid. 

We love the addition of a real love interest for Victoria, who isn't completely inhuman. We know that Daniel is going to get his heart broken, one way or another, but we hope he continues to stick by Amanda anyway. He's a good guy and really the only person that Ern is rooting for on this show. Okay, maybe Nolan too. But Daniel is the real victim in all of this. It seems like Amanda's revenge will hit him the hardest. Leeard is obviously pulling for Amanda. In sum, this was a good return for a strong show that we can’t wait to see more of.

Episode grade: B+

There's a Light at the End of this Tunnel, Guys

Good news for those of you addicted to this blog: One of us sees a part in the clouds of schoolwork and anticipates that April-May will be lighter. This means daily posts are an option at that time. Until then, here’s your Monday summary. Yeah, we're behind on a few shows. 

Cougar Town - Ain't Love Strange: This show returned to a series low in the ratings. We were sad about that. It’s due to a tough time slot and no powerhouse lead-in like they had last year. That didn’t stop the show from turning in a premiere in its usual adorable, heartfelt style. We weren't digging Laurie's ankle monitor though. It felt like she would have told the gang the story right away, not in exposition in the episode.  
Episode grade: A-

Revenge - Chaos: Leeard was expecting (and wanting) the body to be Tyler, but Ern was completely surprised. Either way, bravo for the twist. In order to fool us, the show used a body double that looked sort of like Tyler and sort of like Daniel as the body that fell to the beach after being shot. We are really glad Revenge kept Daniel alive. One of us thought the Tyler stuff was getting a little too cheesy and overwrought, especially the scenes where he plotted with Emily. There was so much exposition that we expected him to break out in a cliché villain “muah haha.” Leeard hopes Tanaka doesn't kill Emily and is starting to like her.
Episode grade: A

Glee - Heart: Rachel’s dads were delightful, and we like the new Christian character. Ryan Murphy was jonesing for a Christian character so badly on The Glee Project that he was bound to name a Christian kid the winner. Now that he has his Christian, Ryan will be able to pick the most talented, awesome kids when The Glee Project returns. Yeah, we are still sore about Hanna losing. We also liked Quinn’s talk about Christianity and the Bible. For a crazy, flawed character, Quinn can manage to say sensible things when people need advice. She presented the other side of a common argument well. The show continues to avoid demonizing religious people while it pushes for tolerance of gay people. That’s quite a feat. We liked a lot of the songs and performances. It is eerie that Glee chose to do Whitney Houston’s famous song. The decision was made before Whitney died and the episode aired after Whitney’s death. Glee is psychic. That’s probably why it’s so crazy. We can’t believe we were sad for Karofsky. We are also surprised that Rory isn’t leaving! He was lying about his visa being denied. Does that mean Damian gets to be on the show longer than the few episodes he was promised? Strangely, Rachel Berry’s nighttime routine resembles Ern’s, only Ern’s is possibly more elaborate. Ern doesn’t do the ice thing though. That’s the height of insane, Rachel. 
Episode grade: B+

Glee First Listen Friday - Everything is a little forgettable except Blaine’s song, a cover of “Cough Syrup” by Young and the Giant/The Jakes. It’s a cool song. Blaine’s voice is too autotuned in it, but we still can’t decide if we like his cover or the original better. Rachel was given a song that didn’t fit her voice at all and the results were disappointing. The "Fly"/"I Believe I Can Fly" mash-up was ok. Ern is kind of over "I Believe I Can Fly". Leeard will never be.

The River - Los Ciegos: This show improves in its third week and is turning into a really fun show. A few of the characters got more sympathetic this episode, and there was some good humor. 
Episode grade: A-

Parenthood - Tough Love: Whoa, Julia. Being a paralegal is a hard job. They have to read well, pay attention to detail, and be extremely responsible. We love that Julia thinks Coffee Girl is that smart, but we think that’s a stretch. Fortunately for the legal profession, Coffee Girl did not apply. We love the aspect of Julia’s personality that just won’t let go of this girl, but we are bracing ourselves for a possible sad ending to this story. We can’t believe Amber was caught by Kristina so quickly. Haddie, you little rat! We are even more dismayed that Bob was such a pussy and let Kristina take her. They are both adults and the age disparity isn’t that great! Ugh, Kristina. We felt bad for Seth but not Drew in this episode. For some reason, we think Drew is too old to have this reaction. He has progressed to the age where he needs to work on being happy for his mother, getting along with his potential new stepdad, staying quiet about his feelings, and dealing with real life. Maybe we are being too harsh? Meh. 
Episode grade: B+

The Secret Circle - Return: Cassie's dad shows up at her house!! Then Cassie tells Adam, who says something like, "Then he's really alive?!" We wanted to hit him in the face for dumb ass-ery. It's been apparent for weeks. The audience knew in the pilot. Anyway, this episode was almost as good as last week's. The dad stuff did not disappoint. We're not sure we trust him, but we like him. We liked seeing Faye make out with a guy who wasn't Jake. Also, coma girl woke up. We'll see what that's about. 
Episode grade: A

The Vampire Diaries - All My Children: We have yet another Alaric death fake-out as a cliffhanger. Meredith shoots a gun in his direction. He'll live. He always does. We loved watching resourceful Elena face off against Rebekah, and it was nice to see Damon protecting his brother's returning humanity. Bonnie's mom is a vampire, yawn. Good job for fighting back, Elijah. Don't let this show take you from us again so quickly. This episode was fine, but it wasn't among this show's best. We weren't surprised by anything or particularly touched. 
Episode grade: B

Grey’s Anatomy - Have You Seen Me Lately?: Hey, you know what's awkward and sad? Watching Owen and Cristina in couples counseling. Owen is kind of jealous of Meredith, showing that he misses the point of this show, which is the friendship between Meredith and Cristina, DUH. You have to give them credit for trying with this marriage thing though. Lots of people would throw in the towel and no one would blame them, under these circumstances. Amy comes to Seattle Grace and tries to get her brother, Derek, to do a surgery. They do the surgery in the Private Practice hour (it's a crossover event), but we didn't care enough to watch Private Practice and see how it turned out. If someone else saw it, let us know. The good news this week is that Meredith and Callie might be friends now. Callie is going to help Meredith study after Meredith rocked a case where a man got his hand ground up in a meat grinder. Yuck. 
Episode grade: B

The Office - Tallahassee: The only time we laughed was during Jim's early-morning prank on Dwight. Part of the Scranton branch went down to Florida to design Sabre retail stores. Packer was there too. Dwight got appendicitis. Stanley is acting like this business trip is a month-long paid vacation. That's about it. We miss this show being hilarious.
Episode grade: C

Parks and Recreation - Dave Returns: First of all, Team Ben. Second, we also like Dave. He's so honest. We are still raising our eyebrows at the whole Ann/Ben thing, which is apparently still happening, but it was funny this episode. That song Andy wrote was appropriately hideous. Finally, we have exactly the same reaction to cops as Ben does: we never break the law, because we are terrified of cops. Ern can't even look at them when passing them on the street! 
Episode grade: A-

New Girl - Valentine: We got to see True Blood's Ryan Kwanten guest star as a guy Jess tries to have a one-night stand with. Jess's quest to "get some strange" ends badly. Wait, no, it ends adorable, because it ends with Nick dragging Jess to her bedroom when she contemplates sleeping with Schmidt. She brought an entire (and very large) box of condoms for the occasion. Guess who did sleep with Schmidt? No, not Leeard, even though he is her soulmate. Cece! We can't believe it, guys. This was a funny episode, but we don't really dig the one night stand topic. 
Episode grade: B+

Awake - Pilot: This episode is up on hulu, so you can watch it early, and you should. There isn't much here that wasn't shown in the preview, but we loved what was in the preview, so you can guess what we thought of the whole episode. The main triumph of the pilot is that we already care about the characters. We will be tuning into the second episode when it airs in March. This show reminds us a little of Journeyman, only we care more. Sadly, it seems like just the thing that could be cancelled well before it's time. NBC loves to give us great shows that don't hit it out of the ballpark, ratings-wise. With this show, we just hope there is a satisfying conclusion to what will probably be a short run. 
Episode grade: A

Modern Family - Aunt Mommy: We haven't been mentioning this show in the last couple of weeks, because most episodes are the same. People are saying this show is stuck in a rut and we agree. At least it's a relatively funny rut. However, this episode had some pleasing factors that made it stick out. For once, Cam and Mitchell's plotline didn't involve them having a fight/bickering. We got to see multiple characters drunk. The only thing that could have made this episode better would be if we had gotten to see Luke try to reanimate that dead squirrel. Even though Modern Family refuses to give us something that feels new, it's still a funny show.
Episode grade: B+

Happy Endings - Everybody Loves Grant: One of us watched this episode yesterday when she had a fever and no energy, and this show still managed to pull some chuckles out of the haze that was that day. Dave trying to be "the cool guy" made him the MVP of the night. If you like this show, you probably liked this episode. 
Episode grade: B+

Pan Am - 1964 (and the series as a whole): Well, this show wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it had a nice little (probably) close to the series. We were left with Kate moving up in the CIA, Laura and Ted are in love (and one of us is so glad we didn't have to see Ted tell her that Amanda is pregnant), Dean and Collette are on the road to reconciliation, and Maggie is by herself. While we can kind of see hints of where the show would go if it's given a second season (Collette's search for her brother, Laura and Ted trying to figure out their relationship, Kate becoming an actual spy, Maggie hopefully dying), we think that 1964 works as a decent series finale. Pan Am was a nice diversion, but we won't miss it too much.
Episode grade: B
Series grade: C

Casting news: The Good Wife didn’t have a new episode this week, but news emerged that Matthew Perry will join the show as a lawyer who is trying to win over Alicia. Alicia and Bing-a-ling? We really don’t see it, but we like the idea of Alicia getting another love interest. Breaking Bad’s Giancarlo Esposito will play a business associate of Pierce’s dead dad on Community. We’re sure it will be perfect and hilarious, like that show always is.

Books - The White Devil: If nothing else, this book will make you deathly afraid of getting TB. The White Devil is a ghost story featuring an American teenager who has to go to a British boarding school. If you are familiar with Lord Byron as a historical figure or as a poet, you will enjoy this book a lot more than your average reader. This book was entertaining, for the most part, there was good writing, and it had some really creepy moments. But it never grabbed us and we will forget about the characters by the next week. 
Book grade: C+

As for movies, we re-watched Warrior, which is the best movie of 2011 that you never saw. Yeah, some of it isn't very original, but it is so intense Ern almost had a panic attack watching it, there's lots of emotion, you care about the characters, and it's never boring. Even if you aren't interested in MMA or fighting as a topic, you should give this one a shot. Grade: A We also saw The Other Woman with Natalie Portman. Despite mixed reviews, we enjoyed it enough that we're glad we watched it. Grade: B- Then, finally, one of us saw The Paper Chase. Like a typical law student, Ern nearly screamed at the end when the main character did what he did (no spoilers here, but if you've seen it, you know what we mean). How could he do that?!! We would NEVER do that. Also, plenty of Ern's law professors are just as bad as Kingsfield, seriously. Grade: B

Revenge - Perception recap/review

More goes down than usual in this episode of Revenge. Daniel and Amanda have sent out their Fire & Ice engagement party invitations, so we are reminded that answers about the possible murder will be answered soon when we get to see that party episode.

Conrad Grayson’s father comes to town after hearing about his son’s impending divorce. Grandpa is played by guest star William Devane, who 24 fans will recognize as the Secretary of Defense and father of Audrey Raine. That guy who chopped Jack Bauer in the throat and lived to tell the tale. We had a love/hate relationship with that man. Grandpa Grayson doesn’t want his son’s divorce to tarnish the family name and hurt the company he started, like the David Clarke thing did.

Conrad suddenly needs Victoria to play nice and tell Grandpa Grayson that Conrad is doing things well. Victoria agrees to keep things running smoothly, as long as they settle the divorce out of court and Conrad continues being a father to Charlotte.

Jack finds the tape of Mason Treadwell’s interview with young Amanda Clarke and gets Nolan to play it for him. It requires archaic devices like a VHS player for small tapes. Whatever those were called. In doing this, Nolan strays from Amanda’s wishes and instructions. He really came into his own in this episode. He decided that Jack deserved answers, since he got his heart and ribs broken, and chose to be a good friend to him. This was a big move on Nolan’s part. We wonder if and how Amanda will respond.

Jack loses his shit after seeing the tape. The tape showed him that Amanda was just a poor little girl that everyone gave up on, and that Victoria didn’t come clean to protect her. Jack goes to Emily’s hotel room and begs her to open her door to him. He tells her that he saw the tape. Emily does not open the door. At this time, the Graysons are having a fancy dinner with Grandpa Grayson, Declan, Charlotte, Daniel, Amanda, Conrad, and Victoria all in attendance. Jack storms in to confront Victoria for hiding her affair with David Clarke and keeping Amanda falsely imprisoned so that she wouldn’t talk.

Amanda just watches all of this go down, silently, even though she was the catalyst for all of it. We loved that. That’s the best revenge. No one suspects her. No one. She does look concerned for the Grayson children though. Everyone freaks out. Conrad stands and reveals that Charlotte is David’s daughter and that Jack is telling the truth. Daniel counters that Victoria was raped and soon realizes that his mother lied to him. Conrad tells everyone that the affair with David Clarke was a long one. Victoria leaves the table, not even trying to defend herself.

Conrad walks out of the house, but Grandpa Grayson catches up with him. Grandpa Grayson says that maybe Conrad’s days as CEO of Grayson Global are numbered. Since he coldly treats his family like it’s just another business, perhaps Daniel should take over. Conrad counters that Daniel is only a child. Grandpa Grayson points out that when he was Daniel’s age, he started the company. When Daniel marries, he will get controlling shares of the company too. Oooh. Charlotte is devastated and goes back to the bar with Declan. She starts drinking. Oooh, rebellious. Emily chases Jack’s car away from the hotel as he drives off and clearly loves him, or at least feels bad for putting Jack through all this.

When Amanda returns to her house after the dinner, she finds that her secret compartment for the infinity x infinity box is open, its contents gone. Inside is an RSVP card for the Fire & Ice party. The “will attend” box is marked and the name on the card says, “Emily Thorne.” Dun Dun Dunnnnn. Does that mean it was Emily Thorne who left the RSVP? Or is it someone else? Some are proposing that it is Ashley, and that Ashley has her own master plan. 

We think this has merit. After all, there were plenty of victims on the flight and many could be related to anyone on this show, and why else does Ashley exist? Maybe the thief is Lydia. We kind of hope it’s Jack. Or that David Clarke is somehow alive. We also have to wonder who is going to shoot Daniel soon. Is it his dad, who needs to keep his company? Any of the aforementioned people? Is the body even Daniel?Will Tyler make a reappearance, this time with a loaded gun? Unlikely.

Notes:

• This episode gave us some shirtless Jack, which we appreciated. A fisherman indeed.
• Amanda’s fake Boston accent was hideous, but we actually thought her nerdy, brown-haired incarnation, complete with glasses was adorable. We were probably supposed to note that Daniel didn’t notice her before she was blonde and had good clothes, but we really can’t blame him, due to the hat. A hat like that just screams, “Don’t notice me! I will turn you down, because I’m a hippie and I’m studying.”
• We had a moment where we saw how old Conrad Grayson looks. He looks nearly as old as his father. Victoria is waaaaay too hot for him, even if her hair and lips aren't looking too good in this episode. 
• We have waited a long time for the Fire & Ice episode. We deserve to see it, especially after all the recent hiatuses this show has put us through. This episode went a little ways into making up for it. 

Episode grade: B+

The Justified opening credits are amazing and that song is extremely catchy, no?

The Good Wife - Bitcoin for Dummies

A lawyer, played by guest-star Jason Biggs, is arrested under suspicion of being an online programmer who illegally invented a currency traded over the internet. Basically, this whole episode was watching Kalinda be a brilliant investigator and figure everything out. People said “Mr. Bitcoin” a lot. Too much, we think. Kalinda turns over evidence implicating Will for bribery in order to save Alicia from possibly losing her bar license. That should turn out to be interesting. This episode was a little "meh" to us, if still technically good. This season as a whole has rocked though. This is a show that can afford an average week. 
Episode grade: B-

Gossip Girl - The End of the Affair?

Of all the STUPID reasons to keep Chuck and Blair apart, (and there have been many) this takes the cake. Blair promised God that she would honor her vow to Louis to marry him, if only Chuck would pull through after their car accident. After Blair said “amen,” a nurse came to tell her that Chuck had woken up. OBVIOUSLY Blair can’t tell Chuck and Louis this “secret” and must only confide in Dan Humphrey and a priest who says this is “between her and God.” WHAT?!! Priests aren’t allowed to give advice when it is so sorely needed? Serena came through on the theology front when she told Blair that God wouldn’t want Blair to marry someone she doesn’t love. Thank you, Serena. However, Blair decided that if she didn’t marry Louis, something bad might happen to Chuck. We guess this fits Blair’s superstitious character, but COME. ON. Ughhhhhhh

Nate finds out that the accident wasn’t completely the fault of the paparazzi. Someone tampered with the breaks. Gossip Girl is going to help Nate find out who did it, in exchange for his help, probably on getting Gossip Girl back in business. Everyone is sending Serena blasts now instead of Gossip Girl. Serena decided to start posting a few, always keeping her conscience in mind. Also, Blair and Chuck got in the wrong car that fateful night. The car that was tampered with was meant for Nate. Lily hires a private detective to track down Charlie. He finds the real Charlie, but Lily just thinks that there are two people with the name Charlie Rhodes and the PI found the wrong one. We assume Lily will find out the truth this season. Vera Wang guest stars.

While this episode entertained us, we cannot believe the lengths to which this show will go in order to keep the Chair drama alive. How is this wedding still going on? Stupid, stupid, stupid. In other news, did you guys know that Blake Lively, the actress who plays Serena, doesn’t drink? While her character sometimes sets a bad example, we admire the example set by an actress who doesn’t roll with what the world at large is doing, even if we don’t condemn drinking if you are of age and able to handle it. We like when people aren’t partiers and are proud of that (as long as they aren't holier-than-thou about it). Keep being yourself, Blake.
Episode grade: C+

Parenthood - It is What it Is

Zeek gets bad news from his doctor and chooses to keep it from his children…for now. Crosby kisses the cellist and tries to take Jabbar to one of her shows. Jabbar’s mom and her boyfriend insist on attending the show as well, where we see that Jasmine is jealous of Crozby’s new girl. Amber helps her boss out at an event, and he asks her to have a bite to eat with him. Amber turns him down but is obviously confused as to whether this is romantic interest or not. Julia starts to worry that Zoe might want to keep her baby when Zoe starts experiencing some rough emotions. Poor thing, seriously. Haddie gets into Cornell, her dream college, and her parents realize it’s going to be hard to fund Haddie’s education in this economy and on their current income.

This episode was sweet, well-acted, and well-written, as usual. This show continues to be one of the best dramas on TV and absolutely the best ensemble family show. Yep, we’re looking at you, Modern Family. While the shows are different, Parenthood beats MF in overall quality. 
Episode grade: A-

Justified - The Gunfighter

Raylan is off his game after being shot, but that doesn’t mean he can’t outsmart a new bad guy. It looks like the “Dixie Mafia” is going to be the force to contend with this season. Question: Why is Ava still alive? Not only do we hate the character, the actress who plays her is clearly a yankee. That accent isn’t working, girl. We haven’t talked about this show before in the past because we just caught up on it this week! What you need to know is that the dialogue is out of this world. The show has some of the best-written lines on TV. The show is overrated though. The main character looks like a young and way cuter Billy-Bob Thornton, which is something that is annoying after you notice that (sorry for pointing it out, haha). The show fails miserably in creating romances that the audience will care about. Everyone Raylan Givens has ever bedded on this show (a grand total of two girls that we remember) could drop dead for all we care.

We don’t know what the show is doing with Boyd Crowder and we never have. But this show is like a modern-day Western mashed up with a Flannery O’Connor short story. The action is pretty great and it’s just an overall, well-written, entertaining show. This season opener was a little hard for one of us to follow though, and we pride ourselves on being at least smarter than the average TV viewer. Being too complicated can work against a show and we hope this one has the sense to lay a few things out for the viewer later in the season. We’re excited to cover season three, but we miss Mags Bennett. Who doesn’t? The new big bads have some mighty shoes to fill. Did you see that Dexter alum? (Quinn)
Episode grade: B+

Revenge - Commitment

It’s Revenge. Of course it was a good episode! Amanda shows some hesitance about her revenge plan when she realizes that it affects people she does not intend for it to hurt. The person affected is Jack. He is beaten and has to endure Emily/Fake Amanda leaving him. Originally, Amanda intended to frame Emily for burning down that house, but instead comes clean with Emily about her revenge plan and convinces Emily to leave town, for her own safety. Daniel proposes to Amanda (in the rain! On a boat! We love him!) and Amanda says yes. Sidenote: Daniel was so sweet to his mom in this episode, too. We really hope he isn't the dead body from the season premiere. We want him to survive.

Amanda has second thoughts about the engagement, because she has a heart after all. We loved seeing that side of her. But when Victoria tells Daniel that David Clarke raped her, and this is how Charlotte was sired, Amanda asks Daniel when the wedding date will be. Ha! Muah haha! We love this show. Charlotte is basically disowned by the only father she has ever known after Amanda releases the information about Charlotte’s paternity to the Grayson couple. They are so awful. We love it. Charlotte doesn’t know why she has to move back into her mother’s house, but she is not happy. Nolan continues to rule. This show continues to rule.
Episode grade: A