The United States of Tara ends

We feel like we have really wasted our lives with this show. Maybe the writers didn’t know that it was going to be cancelled in season three, but with their numbers, they had to know that it was a possibility. They couldn’t film an ending scene or two to use for closure’s sake? And just use an alternate ending in the event that there was a season four?

The series finale ended just before the series would have gotten interesting. Why? Because Kate is settled down with a boyfriend who loves her, Marshall is just going to finish school and film stuff, and, best of all, Charmaine is marrying Neil and possibly moving to Texas. It would be a lot harder for the show to waste our lives with these characters.

Tara headed off to Boston with her husband to see a really good specialist. This is where we would have started loving this show like we did in season one. We want to see that therapy. We want to see her get better, merge the alters, eliminate some alters, get some new ones, and bum around with other mentally ill people. But alas. That would have been a lot harder to write. They might have had to pick up a psych book or two to get some material.

Season two was uneven and boring. We would recommend only season one, but there is even less closure there. With the way this show ended and the lackluster episodes that did not focus on Tara, we wouldn’t recommend this show to any newcomers renting DVDs. Toni Collette acted well in it and it was a great concept, but, in the end, this is just a bunch of wasted opportunity.

While the ending we were given was hopeful, ambiguous, and realistic, this isn't the sort of show that we wanted to end on uncertainty. We are left to imagine a real ending ourselves. Tara kills herself? Tara leaves Max and the family to live her own life and stop bothering them? Tara’s evil alter kills Charmaine and does us all a favor? Tara gets better? Tara gets rid of all of the alters except Alice, because she cleans? Buck takes over the body and goes back to that very confused woman in the bar? We will never know. And we’ve stopped caring.

Season one grade: A-
Season two grade: D+
Season three grade: C+

Pretty Little Liars - It's Alive Review (plus a few sentences about other summer shows)

Ok, thank God Pretty Little Liars is back. We’ve been sampling summer fare for weeks, and none of it has really started our engines. We watched Teen Wolf, and it isn’t bad, but the lead actor is, and that’s very distracting. We watched The Nine Lives of Chloe King, and the first episode was pretty good, and we hear that it gets better in the second episode. Still, it's no Vampire Diaries. We’ve been watching Switched at Birth, and while the deaf thing is interesting, the show is not what we would call “quality.”One of us is really enjoying it though.

We’ve been watching The Bachelorette, and it’s stupid, but fun. We have no desire to watch Happily Divorced, even though one of us loved The Nanny. Game of Thrones and The United States of Tara are almost over. The Glee Project is weird so far and we are having trouble getting invested. We’ve been watching So You Think You Can Dance, and it’s amazing, as usual. We need to start writing about that....

But we really need a good drama again, and Pretty Little Liars fits the bill. We loved how it just picked up right where it left off, letting us see the full aftermath of the finale, rather than having the characters verbally recap it. Jenna is still the creepiest mofo ever.

In this episode, the girls toyed with the idea of actually telling an adult, their new shrink, about A. Emily was the biggest proponent of just letting all the secrets out and facing the consequences. She even just suggested telling their parents and the cops. This would be a good idea, but it would ruin the drama of the show, and it would get Ezra Fitz in a whole load of trouble (which might actually be worth ruining the drama for one of us). We loved that it was Emily who thought they should be honest, because it makes sense with all that she has been through.

We are not digging Toby’s haircut, but we have missed him. Ditto to Noel Kahn, who Ern thinks is hotter than Ezra. Leeard disagrees and thinks Ezra is hotter than ever. Ern thinks he’s scrawny, fish-faced, and he has creepy old man hair. And he’s a gaywad. Nice abs though. We need Noel with Aria immediately, because her character needs to be saved. She spent most of the premiere whining to Ezra about Jackie. And yet, we have missed the wackiness of Aria’s clothes.

We roll our eyes at the “Emily is going to Texas” storyline. We bet she is going to get all packed, goodbyes will be said, and then it’s going to fall through. “A” needs his/her victims right in town. And we were reminded at how all-powerful “A” is in this episode. “A” infiltrated the shrink’s office, which is what stopped the girls from blabbing. Leeard thinks the shrink will be the next murder victim. Ern hopes not, because she would enjoy watching the liars go through individual grief counseling. But this isn’t In Treatment…

Caleb is back for Hanna, and he got to say his “I love you.” We understand why Hanna didn’t forgive him right away, but we were still sad. We liked that she got to confront Mona about the letter, because that didn’t need to be dragged out. We were loving the re-ignition of the Emily/Toby friendship. So sweet.

One thing we thought was weird? They showed Spencer’s naked back while she was changing. First of all, it’s ABC Family. That’s a little too much skin for a family channel. Second, it didn’t add to the episode or the story. Third, who was it FOR? This is a teen girl’s show. Is it just to remind the teen girls that their backs have too much meat on them? (Spencer is tiny.) Is it to fool people into thinking that they are watching a mature show rather than quality teen stuff? We’re confused. Teen lesbians probably rejoiced though.

So, it looks like Ian is alive (not a surprise), and that’s awesome. Melissa asked Spencer for her side of the story about the whole Ian episode in the finale, and seemed genuinely open to hearing the truth. There’s not a lot of sisterhood on this show, and we kind of think it would be nice to see these girls as friends rather than enemies. They are both smart women, and they are family. We’re getting sick of the rivalry. The girls aren’t allowed to hang out for a while and Spencer is not allowed to date Toby. Like either of those things are going to stick.

There weren’t too many “wow” moments or great scenes in this episode, but we are so glad it’s back that we are giving it an A.

Episode grade: A

The Office, America's Next Top Model, and The United States of Tara

Photo credit: jeffedoe
Last week, two of these shows ended their seasons, each with decent, but not amazing, finales.

The Office gave us a string of possible bosses. When we first heard that Steve Carell was leaving, our first reaction was that Dwight or Creed should replace him, if the replacement was in-house. We are glad the show agreed enough to let us see those two in action, but Dwight’s stint as boss was too short-lived. This show needed to drag that out for about three episodes. We get that they can’t stay bosses forever though and we like the idea of adding some fresh meat.

But the parade of bosses we got in the season finale didn’t give us much hope. No one really stood out to us as a funny, memorable option, except for maybe James Spader’s really confident guy who thinks that everyone is just after sex. We can see that. We loved his showdown with Dwight. We think that the recipe for a good character is the ability to have a good showdown with Dwight. But this might not be the final boss shortlist. Maybe a totally new option will present itself this fall.

As for America’s Next Top Model, after one of the most entertaining cycle in a long time, the wrong girl won again. This cycle wasn’t great because of the photo shoots, prizes, or anything the show threw at them, it was great because the girls were catty messes who could model, for the most part. There was no one who was a terrible model. Every elimination felt too soon. Alexandria led hundreds of people to this blog, because people were so obsessed with her that they kept searching for her name on Google.

Between Brittani and Molly, we were Team Molly. We had supported Brittani for a long time, but when it became clear that Molly was a top contender, we started looking at her more closely. This girl could take great pictures, we really sympathized with her struggle with being adopted, and she had the model look. This girl could actually have a career as America’s next top model, rather than some eccentricity on Tyra’s shelf of misfits that she is trying to make happen.

Brittani, on the other hand, clearly has anxiety issues and her face is not symmetrical. Tyra praised her unconventional angles and said, “The modeling world is obsessed with symmetry, but Brittani proves that you don’t have to have that.” Umm, you don’t prove things to the modeling industry 99% of the time. Every once in a while, a girl breaks a barrier, starts a new trend, and gets by with a new look. But we doubt it is going to come from a reality show, which wouldn’t have the cool, elitism factor that the modeling industry would respect enough to make an exception for. But good luck to both of them.

Also, how mean of the show to cut both their hair man-short before sending one packing. New haircuts just for panel? No photo? Rude.

Lastly, for those of you who have not yet heard, Showtime canceled The United States of Tara today. We chalk it up to the show’s insistence on focusing on boring things such as Kate’s search for meaning in her life (at 18, this is really NOT a crisis yet) and Charmaine’s nasty men and her baby. Heads up to storytellers: While a baby is very exciting in real life, in fiction, it usually makes your story grind to a halt, unless the mother births some kind of mutant/monster or you grow it up quickly, like on soaps.

The reason we watched the show and stayed with it was Toni Collette’s acting, the alters, her relationship with her husband, and the craziness and hilarity that was the whole mental illness thing. By depriving people of what’s unique about the show and focusing on Kate and Charmaine, the show made people lose interest. Besides, Kate and Charmaine have lame attitudes most of the time. That said, we like Kate’s new flight attendant job. It has pulled her out of her useless funk. There is no saving Charmaine. Or, it seems, this show.

Hopefully, the show ends with some closure.

The Office Finale Grade: B

The Office Season Grade: C+, as opposed to the season before that, which would have gotten a D were we blogging then. We loved this season's Christmas episodes and Michael's goodbye.

ANTM Finale Grade: B-

ANTM Cycle Grade: B+

Just Because We Are Lame Bloggers During Exam Week, Doesn't Mean We Can't Post a Few Grades and Comments

For the week so far-

Game of Thrones - B

As readers of the books, we can promise that it's getting to the action quickly. When it does, it's going to be an amazing show. For now, it's just pretty good.

How I Met Your Mother - B+

It could be argued that the girls were given no substantial storyline, but we liked their commentary on the various drinks and their affects. We also love Marshall falling in love with himself in the mirror

The United States of Tara - C+

The end was wonderfully creepy, but the rest of the episode was dull. Sweet moments between Tara and her husband though, which is something we like to see after all they went through last season.

Gossip Girl - B-

Does anyone else think this prince came out of thin air? He and Blair didn't really get along in France and now they are in love/engaged? Insane. Even more insane was having Chuck almost hit Blair. Was he aiming for the window to scare her or was he aiming for her head? Good job, Nate, for dumping him. We are pretty sure Russell Thorpe is the one who killed Raina's mom though. Why else would he lie to Raina about her fate?

Glee - B+

We loved the Fleetwood Mac songs. Leeard called Sam's secret from the get-go. We love Santana more and more every episode. Brittany too. Sam's siblings are so cute too.

Short reviews for this week (for the shows we didn't much talk about in big posts)

One of the bloggers went home this weekend for Easter and has limited internet access, so this week’s short reviews will be few, because the other blogger’s TV viewing won’t be added. We watch many of the same shows, of course. In case you were wondering, she didn't like this weeks' Bones, pronouncing it "weird."

How I Met Your Mother
Barney and his dad lie to each other in order to bond. One of us thinks this show is getting really old and boring. It is at its best when it reaches into the past, references older episodes, or has flashbacks. The current action isn’t humorous. That said, we mildly enjoyed this episode. John Lithgow always does a good job. B+

The United States of Tara
Char finally had her baby. Meh. B-

Modern Family
This week was one of the funniest in a while. We love Phil and Luke. A

Cougar Town (both episodes from this week)
We’re glad this show is back, but these weren’t outstanding episodes. B

Breaking In
Not as good as the pilot and subsequent episode, but still amusing. B

Community
Jeff’s speeches always say it all. And we enjoyed the Pierce/Abed love montage. A funny episode with a little heart that reminded us of some of the year’s high points. A-

Parks and Recreation
YES, Ron, burgers are better. This episode was a great example of just how funny this show can be. We couldn’t be any more in love with it than after this week? A

The Office
“I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up.” No, that statement isn’t about the show (it’s about Phyllis). The show proved that it can still "get up" and be funny this week, with its biting Dundies and sweet pre-farewell to Michael. Much better than last week. And Will Ferrell was tolerable. B+

The Vampire Diaries
It’s The Vampire Diaries, a show that flat-out refuses to churn out stupid plotlines, boring side-stories, or episodes that are a waste of time, so you know it’s going to get some kind of A. How high of an A? We loved meeting Klaus. And Damon’s concern for Elena and desperation for her to respect him upped the central triangle up a notch. A+

Fringe
It’s the beginning of the end. It’s about time. This show keeps messing with our emotions, making Faux-Livia so admirable. But we like it. B+

A Few Comments on This Week's TV

How I Met Your Mother - The Exploding Meatball Sub
Both of us thought this episode was a little “meh” and not funny, although ern really liked that Marshall finally quit his job at GNB. She also liked the meatball sub stuff.

Episode Grade: C+

The United States of Tara - The Full F You Finger
It was ok. The Adventures of Kate are boring us. Get back to Tara.

Episode Grade: C+

Body of Proof - Talking Heads
We are starting to bemoan the lack of chemistry in the cast and the predictability in the episodes, but we are still watching. Leeard thinks it’s like Bones, only stupider and without Booth. Liked the corny ending though. We’re suckers for mother/daughter stuff.

Episode Grade: C

Modern Family - The Musical Man
Very funny, even though the plot where it looked like Phil was pimping out his family was a little too dumb, even for Phil. Then she show actually pulled off a touching moment with Jay’s brother! We missed this show.

Episode Grade: B+

America’s Next Top Model - Lana Marks
We were a little shocked that Jaclyn went home so early. She takes great pictures. True, she looks the least like a model and she runs the least amount of drama in the house. We think it should have been Hannah or Molly. Molly has had a horrible attitude from day one. We are still rooting for enemies Brittani and Alexandria.

Episode Grade: A-

American Idol
As it stands, Leeard is rooting for Casey. Ern has favored Haley for a while. Even before "Bennie and the Jets". But feel free to hop on this bandwagon. Haley has a fantastic voice. Leeard was sad to lose Paul. Ern was ecstatic. He was the worst. Now, we just have to get rid of Jacob Lusk, a singer neither of us like. When we agree on American Idol, it’s rare. That’s how bad Jacob is. Week grade: A

The Office - Training Day
A show that mostly isn't funny anymore + a comedian who mostly isn’t funny anymore? You know how this turned out. We have only liked Will F in Anchorman. Elf had a funny script, but Will didn’t add much to it and came across as a creeper. Neither of us cared for him in The Office. Someone breathe new life in this show, fast. Funniest part of the episode? The turtle part. Episode Grade: C

The Vampire Diaries - The Last Dance
This show can do no wrong. It is so much better than any teen show has any right to be. The pacing, the twists, the characters, the hot guys, the lack of stupidity, the health of the relationships, and the moxie of the main girl? Pitch perfect, and this week is no exception. Episode grade: A

Bones - The Truth in the Myth
Too predictable, pretty forgettable. And stupid, because the chupacabra is obviously real.
Episode grade: C

Mike and Molly - Opening Day
We liked the bonding between Molly and Carl, but she shouldn't have gone to the baseball game with them.

Episode Grade: B-

The Chicago Code - Wild Onions
It’s awesome. One day the blogger who loves this show will explain why it’s awesome, but until then, accept it.

Episode Grade: A-

Better with You - Better Without a Job
The stupid plot with the book/Maddie is dumb for the whole pretending-to-not-be-fired thing.

Episode Grade: C

30 Rock - I Heart Connecticut
Truly, truly unspecial episode. No laughs, lame plots. At least we’ve got crazy Tracy back for next time though, right?

Episode Grade: D+

Community - Competitive Wine Tasting
We didn’t love Trey’s subplot, but we loved someone calling Jeff out for being a douche. And did Pierce really find the right one? Fiddla please.

Episode grade: B

Parks and Recreation - Andy and April’s Fancy Party
We want Ben to get Leslie. At least for a little while. They set it up so subtly that it felt like the audience’s idea. Until this episode, where it was obvious. Brilliant. Plus, April and Andy got married!

Episode Grade: A-

Fringe - Lysergic Acid Diethylamide
That reminded us of Inception. Only with more character development. The cartoon thing was cute, but Olivia’s looked nothing like her. Very strange, but we liked this one. Oh, this show. Episode grade: A-

Chaos - Love and Rockets
Par for the course for this show, which equals an episode grade of B-

The United States of Tara - youwillnotwin

The United States of Tara premiered last night, and it’s already looking better than last season, which focused too much on Charmaine’s creepy pregnancy and poor Kate’s search for something to do. Also, while realistic, we didn’t enjoy Max and Tara’s affairs and marriage troubles. The news this year is that we are getting a new alter out of Tara, and that this one is going to be pretty evil. Awesome!

We already have an interesting new character. A professor of psychology at a college Tara is attending to finally get her degree. He’s funny, as arrogant as professors come, and it seems he is going to be a challenge in Tara’s life that doesn’t involve her horrible sister. Yeah, we are not Charmaine fans. We are not fans of Marshall’s little dye-job boyfriend either. He could do much better!

Most of the episode was normal and alter-free. A strength of this show is the way it saves the alters for dramatic moments so that we miss them. It builds suspense. Toni Collette has a gift of a role here. It would be so fun to get to play all of these people. We are particularly impressed with Buck.

We gasped aloud when Tara stabbed her wrist. We did not see that coming at all. We were so jealous of Tara when Shoshana came out to “pontificate” and help Tara with her paper. We need an alter who likes to pontificate about graduate school! Ern has a particularly nasty assignment due today and Leeard has 3 midterms over the next two days….Oh the procrastination wonders of a TV blog.

A strong start that will hopefully follow in the footsteps of season one, rather than the hot-and-cold season two.

Episode grade: B+

Our Favorite Plots and Plots Twists On Some of Our Favorite Shows-- inspired by hatts' comment

SPOILER ALERT- We are about to give a lot of really good plot points away, so blur your eyes and move on if you haven’t seen most of these shows. We made a post complaining about bad plots on good shows, so it's only fair that we do a positive post to counteract it.

24, The end of first season - If you haven’t seen it, we aren’t even going to risk blowing it for you. Stephen King’s entertainment column blew it for Ern, and it took her a long time to forgive him for that. It helped that he’s awesome. Anyway, the one-two punch of the plot twists at the end of this show’s first season made everyone sit up and notice that this was a show that wasn’t afraid to do anything to its characters to shock and tell a good story. Honorable mention: Season five. Yes, the whole season.

LOST, the first flash forward - They have to go BACK? What?!?! They got off? No freakin way. One of us is still freaked out about this. The other blogger was spoiled. GER. Honorable mention: Ben talks Locke down from killing himself and then, once Locke says the wrong thing, strangles him. We were all touched that Ben talked his old enemy out of giving into despair when, suddenly, Ben murders him. Tell us you weren’t holding your breath during that entire, amazing scene. LOST had plenty of amazing twists (Locke’s in a wheelchair, the others aren’t savages, etc), but this one scarred us for life.

Arrested Development, Buster gets his hand bitten off by a seal - This one paid off in humorous spades. It was foreshadowed for at least half a season, and we will always chuckle when we think of Buster screaming, “I’M A MONSTER!!!!” It was one of the weirdest, best plots in Arrested Development history. Honorable mention: The Maebe/George Michael love, especially at the end of season two where they kissed and the floor caved in under them.

Sex and the City, The Big/Carrie affair - We were amazed at how this show handled adultery without making us hate Carrie for having the affair. It helped that she was super remorseful about it through the entire arc. The affair was exciting, we were heartbroken for Aiden (bonus points for bringing him back), and it ended without any Taylor Swift-esque romanticism or unrealistic TV fantasy. Honorable mention for this show: The entire Steve/Miranda arc. Also, Smith taking Samantha back after she slept with Richard and her final appreciation of Smith’s big-heartedness and maturity. The way the show had the four characters grow up and embrace parts of themselves that they had previously rejected was excellent.

Scrubs, The Dr. Cox/JD relationship - Turk and JD were hilarious, but Dr. Cox and J.D. were funny AND poignant. You know you were rooting for JD to finally get that hug. Dr. Cox’s love of JD and reluctance to get close him kept us crawling back to Scrubs for more of their great dynamic.

In Treatment, Paul does not sleep with Laura - So many people loved the Laura storyline, because she was hot and in love with her therapist. We found his struggle to resist her to be tiring, and the only thing we like about this plot arc is that he did not sleep with her in the end. We are also glad that the therapist in love with the patient thing is over and done for this show. Now we can get to interesting patients like Sophie, Walter, April, and Oliver, which are this blogger’s personal favorite patients. Once a patient on this show gets under your skin, their episodes become an addiction. You can just watch these four and get a nice experience with this show. Speaking of this show, it’s back on now, and we are watching. It’s fantastic because it keeps you glued to the screen just through two (usually) good actors talking to each other for 22 minutes.

Friends, Monica and Chandler hook up at Ross’ failed wedding and start a relationship - Did you scream back in the ‘90s when Chandler and Monica popped up in the same bed the morning of Ross’ wedding? We did. That relationship kept life in the show long after it started being more soapy than funny. “The One Where Everybody Finds Out (about the relationship),” was one of the funniest Friends episodes.

Gilmore Girls, Rory doesn’t marry Logan at the end - If she wasn’t going to be with Jess at the end (we know, we know, most of you disagree with us in our Jess love), we were glad that the show left her life open-ended and didn’t have her be “the little woman” to a rich, hot guy. The way Rory’s life journey was just beginning was a nice thing on which to end the series. Lorelai, on the other hand, had closed many chapters of her life, ended up with the right guy (at the very, very end), and was in a stable career that she loved, which is how we wanted to leave our flighty, high-spirited heroine. Honorable mention: Anything with Kurt.

Alias, Sydney and Co. bring down SD-6 in the middle of season two - Way to not drag out a plot, show. We love when that happens. When the SD-6 thing was dragging, the show knew how to shake things up by freeing the characters from their double-agent statuses and moving on to other fish. Honorable mention: The pilot of this show is one of our favorites.

Dexter, The Trinity arc - DUH

Gossip Girl, season two Chuck and Blair - Chuck and Blair falling for and eventually committing to each other was the high point of this show for us, by far.

Glee, Sue trying to take Will down - Let’s face it: plots are not Glee’s strong suit, especially this season. We like the songs, the messages of inclusiveness, the tone, the individual characters, and the jokes. But one thing the plotters got right is having the enemy of the arts NOT be just some parent who doesn’t understand/wants his son to play sports. That is tired, and it was already done on High School Musical. Having the bad guy consciously, evilly attempt to sabotage the rival group was pure genius. Honorable mentions - Puckleberry. Bring that back, show. Also, Tina's goth look. Maybe this doesn't qualify as a plot or a twist, but we like it. Just sayin.

The Vampire Diaries, Everything on the show - This show is just one good plot point and plot twist after another. We can’t even count the times we’ve gasped while watching this show. At least once per episode. An episode that stands out for Ern is the one where Stefan tried to stop drinking any blood, hoping that he would die. Lots of young people struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts, and this show lightly touched on this subject in this episode in a powerful, touching way. Stefan’s final decision to fight and keep trying sent out messages to teens that this was the strongest decision he could have made for himself and his loved ones. Message episodes can get heavy-handed and usually makes our eyes roll, but this one toed the line between profound and preachy perfectly. This is the episode in which the show garnered Ern’s respect. Leeard loved the season one finale and the season two premiere, as well as the most recent episode. Actually, Leeard is obsessed with every episode of this show, haha.

The Office, Jim and Pam’s budding romance - Obviously the best plot on this show was the early Jim/Pam dynamic. Roy treated Pam like crud, and Jim treated her with respect and affection, providing a contrast that was meaningful, funny, and edifying of nice guys everywhere. Honorable mention - Dwight and Angela, Holly and Michael.

The United States of Tara, The appearance of the feral alter, Gimmee - Gimmee is horrific and hilarious at the same time. It really shows how out-of-control and serious Tara’s mental illness is. When we first saw it, we muttered, “What the hell?” It’s a shadow of what must be a hideous and frightening past. We are still watching this show because we wonder what sort of events could have created something as weird as Gimmee?

South Park, The Kyle/Cartman relationship - The greatest part of this show, for us, is seeing these two war against each other season after season. These two are foils, and their hatred for each other combined with some sort of obligatory friendship always entertains. For Leeard, the best single episode plot twist HAS to be when Cartman fed Scott Tenorman his parents. Looking back, it's pretty predictable, but MAN was it shocking the first time.

Grey’s Anatomy, the Addison/Derek/Meredith triangle - No triangle on this show will ever rival this one. It gave the show a core issue that everyone was invested in. It was good because we loved both women. Addison was cool! Her relationship was doomed, but we were sad to see her hurt. And yet… Honorable mention - The first half of the Hunt/Cristina relationship. Watching them fall in love in season five was riveting. We had the choking, the way they didn’t fall immediately into bed together, and the way it softened Cristina and showed us another side of her. Sandra Oh rocked this plotline, and we think it overshadowed the disaster that was the Dead Denny season five plotline (no mean feat).

There are so many more. Give us yours?