Mad Men, Smash, The Good Wife, Game of Thrones, The Voice, Make It Or Break It

Game of Thrones- Garden of Bones

Catelyn tries to get Renly and Stannis Baratheon to band together against the Lannisters. Then she has to see Ned Stark’s remains in a box. GROSS, LITTLEFINGER. She should have just stuck with the mental image of him alive. Now she has the mental image of him rotting, and a nice smell to go along with it. Joffrey becomes even more of a jerk than usual, but at least this leads to the best line ever (“There’s no cure for being a ****). Daenerys finds a city to take her in, and Tyrion continues to be awesome. Arya ends up a cupbearer for Tywin Lannister who hilariously realized she was a good as soon as he saw her. Gendry barely escaped with his life. We’ve heard of that rat torture before, and we have to say, that must be one of the top ten worst ways to die. GROSS. We ship Robb Stark and random healer girl. Melisandre gives birth to a smoke thing. She’s so eccentric.

Episode grade: A-

Smash- Publicity

Rebecca Duvall starts inviting Karen out. Paparazzi follow. Jerry and Nick meet, and Jerry is not happy about it. You know, Nick is way too cute for Eileen. We just have to throw that out there, because we are shallow. But we love the way he handled Jerry. Leo thinks his parents splitting up gives him a blank check to just be a dick. He runs away from home and allows his parents and the cops to worry about him for days. Turns out, he’s sleeping on his friend’s floor. He comes home and apologizes, but seriously dude? Plenty of parents split up and many kids think about running away just to get away from it all and build a wall between yourself and parents who hurt you, but you don’t do it, because it’s mean and it helps nothing. Except in this case, it brought Leo’s parents close enough for a hug, because it’s this show and it’s unrealistic. Hear that kids? Just run away and your parents will unite to look for you. The emotion will bond them!

The Bollywood number was weird. And isn’t A Thousand and One Nights an Arabic story? The show seems to be saying, “Hey, they are all brown and exotic, so what’s the difference?” It was pretty fun though. We like this show a little ridiculous rather than just boring. It’s time for Dev to go, and we are glad that Ellis got stuck on smoothie duty, where he belongs. Ivy’s plot to steal Karen’s dull solo was pretty clever, but she has to know that she will be found out. It’s on again. We like Rebecca Duvall. She tells it like it is and wants some control over her projects. Yeah, she can’t sing, but she’s not going to end up an empty puppet like Marilyn Monroe. Uma Thurman brought life back to this show.

Episode grade: B+

Make It Or Break It- Dream On

It’s semi-qualifications time, so there are cuts. The main cuts victim is Kelly Parker. Fortunately, Kelly is now strong enough to tell her mom to get out of her life. She has a room waiting for her at her dad’s, knows that she will be ok, was strengthened by Kaylie’s friendship, and is ready to discover that there is more to herself than gymnastics. She even admitted that she peaked at World’s and her progress has been stagnant. So yeah, she took it well. It made us like KP more. We’re sad to see her go, but we know that someone important had to be cut this episode. Lauren Tanner’s dreams have been halted since Payson told Coach McIntire about her health problems. Lauren hates Payson now, but we suspect that Lauren will be right back at the training center in a few episodes. Also, Wendy is the mole. Meh. Why do all the girls on this show except for Payson, Kaylie, and Emily have to turn out to be secretly underhanded and bitchy? Come up with a new plotline, show. We’ve decided that the actress playing Jordan is not very good. Leeard hates Jordan with a  fiery passion, but Ern kind of likes her. This episode was really touching with the KP stuff. It felt like old MIOBI. 

Episode grade: A-

The Good Wife- The Penalty Box

Cary is back! CARY IS BACK! Yeeee! Also, Kalinda and Alicia are hanging out in bars again! Friends! Friends forever! Those things are awesome. The rest of the episode was ok. Alicia defends a judge who is in hot water for actions during his time as a prosecutor. We liked her questioning her role and the law at the end of the episode. We couldn’t care less about Kalinda’s FBI business or Will’s new fling. If we could only take two famous people to a desert island? Ern would probably take Tim Keller and Stephen King. Leeard would probably take Donald Glover and Jenna Marbles.

Episode grade: B

The Voice- We are sad to lose Pip and Mathai this week. Pip was versatile and had a genuinely good voice. He just hadn’t found his niche yet. The loss of James Massone was fine. We don’t know what Adam sees in Katrina Parker over Mathai. We don’t need a less good ADELE, and Mathai’s singing was consistently good. Cee Lo continues to make mostly excellent choices. Keeping Juliet Simms over Cheesa was a good call. We didn’t like either of the songs Juliet sang this week, but we liked her voice so much during the first live show last week that we think she needs to stay around so that we can hear more of that. Tony Lucca’s Baby One More Time was a great cover and an even better idea, so he deserved to stay. We think Jamar Rogers was voted saved by the American public partly due to sob story factor, but he has a good voice. Contestants we are rooting for now: Juliet Simms, Lindsey Pavao, Chris Mann, Erin Willett, and Tony Lucca.

Mad Men- Far Away Places

This show finally gave us someone to love. Yeah, Peggy is a nice person, but she started out so timid and she occasionally shows that she has no self-respect. Peggy gave a handjob to a stranger in this episode as a way to forget work and her relationship problems. Megan, on the other hand, is not only interesting but incapable of taking crap from Don Draper lying down. Scenes with her are never boring, and we love the way she’s not afraid to tell Don when he’s being a chauvinist pig, even if it devolves into a melodramatic fight. These two are hilarious. We actually laughed when Don was chasing Megan around the room. Don really loves Megan and we think she’s the best thing for him (at least for now). We used to think that was Faye, but it looks like it’s Megan. As for Roger’s tripping balls, we just kept thinking, “Take those big earrings out before you take LSD.” Try couples therapy with drugs! 

Or not. It just gave Roger permission to leave his wife even if it also gave him some clarity and courage to be honest. That guy is a 15-year-old wreck. At least Don shows a little growth sometimes. But get back to work, Don. This was one of the more entertaining episodes so far this season. The LSD sequence was inspired. We loved the lack of Pete and the format of three short stories with a common theme. It wasn’t your average Mad Men episode. Sometimes the jumping around between characters in this show causes us to be unable to engage with one particular story. This episode stayed with characters until their story was told and it really sucked us in. On a more technical note, this was visually great. We liked the camerawork and many of the shots.

Episode grade: A

New Girl, Cougar Town, South Park, and The Voice

New Girl - Kids

“I want to rub my face on his face!” is the best line in recent memory. The little girl was well-casted, and we are glad that CeCe isn’t pregnant. We loved Nick’s reaction to Russell’s daughter, Sarah, having a crush on him (“But I look like an old man!”) Nick, you’re perfect, and Jess is going to see that one day soon. We liked seeing Jeanne Tripplehorn getting post-Big Love work as Russell’s ex-wife who is definitely not over him. We are hoping to see more. Jess needs another archenemy. This show is the greatest in that it is consistent. It’s never horrid. It spans from pretty funny to hilarious. If it brought Lizzy Caplan back for another try at love with Nick, it would be perfect. We still haven’t seen the extent of her rage!

Episode grade: B+

Cougar Town - Ways to Be Wicked

We have to agree with the conclusion of this episode that if a family member just continues to be harmful and disrespectful, there is a point where you can cut them loose. There’s something to be said for unconditional love and seeing family members through hard times, but it benefits no one to let a family member continue to hurt you…especially that family member. We loved that Grayson is helping Laurie start her cake business! And that the security guard was bribable! This episode made us like Ellie more and gave her some well-needed softening. The episode was pretty funny too. Overall, we loved this one.

Episode grade: A-

South Park - I Should Never Have Gone Ziplining

This episode spoofed “I shouldn’t have…” reality TV programs. We weren’t feeling the first half. We were confused that the boys weren’t having fun. One of us went ziplining in Colorado, and it was super fun and scary. There were all sorts of steep drops and everything. Those boys picked the wrong tour. We liked the Shaka Bra thing, but the episode really picked up when they did a “re-enactment” of Kenny’s death. They had what looked like a bunch of douche-y frat boys play Kyle, Stan, Kenny, and Eric. We got a taste of what it would look like if South Park were not a cartoon. We liked that Kenny died of boredom and it was a great way to bring back the Christmas Poo himself.

Episode grade: B

The Voice this week

Christina should NOT have gone with Jessie Campbell. Growth and “Christina’s heart” are all well and good, but she wasted a good contender and just had to end up sending Ashley home the next day anyway. She should have gone with America’s vote and booted Ashley. That said, we prefer Chris Mann and Lindsay Pavao. Chris has a great voice and Lindsay has a unique one. They both just need the perfect songs that will fit them. Lindsay’s record is the one we would buy, so we are rooting for her. We thought Erin Willett did a great job with the ADELE song, but ADELE songs should not be covered anymore. We are glad RaeLynn went home. She wasn’t good. But that leaves Blake with no country artists, which is unexpected. Generally, the right people have been going home on this show. No one on the show blows us away, but we still have some dogs in the race. 

The Voice- Live performances week 2

Last week, we liked Erin Willet, Jermaine Paul, Lindsey Pavao, and Chris Mann, so eliminations night was good for us. This week, the performances were mostly meh. They need to stop letting these people pick their own songs. ITunes downloads are votes, people! Don't pick "Walk Like an Egyptian." No one wants to own that song.

Katrina Parker “Tonight Tonight”: We weren’t impressed with her in her first audition or the battle rounds, and this episode did nothing to change our minds. It wasn’t terrible, we just didn’t enjoy it and weren’t impressed. We think it was a good song choice though and we wish someone else sang it. Cee Lo was right that she didn’t connect with the song the way the Smashing Pumpkins singer did. B-

Cheesa “Don’t Leave Me This Way”: We are so sad that Angie got sent home instead of Cheesa, because we preferred Angie as a person. But Cheesa did better in the battle round. We agree that she earned it. Overall though, Cheesa is only here because she is loud. Her voice isn’t special or pleasant and neither was this performance. C+

Tony Luca “In Your Eyes”: This guy takes himself way too seriously for us to like him. His performance was pretty good though, so we don’t hate him. B

Kim Yarbrough “Rolling In the Deep”: We are rooting for Kim because she has a great voice. Lots of people think she is just a typical church singer, but we think she’s a little better than that. Sadly, she has no chance of winning because she is 50. We don’t like that she picked Rolling in the Deep. That song has been done to death and we are sick of it. Kim didn’t do it justice either. B-

James Massone “Don’t Know Why”: We hate him so much. This teen heartthrob type doesn’t hold a candle to most of the other singers. His thin, young voice just doesn’t bring it. C+

Juliet Simms “Roxanne”: We generally like her, even though she does the growl too much. This performance was on key and enjoyable. We agree with Blake that we actually heard her voice for the first time. She let a little of her good tone out beneath the growl. She reminds us of Juliette Lewis, looks-wise. B+

Mathai “Ordinary People”: We think she oversang this one a little. There were too many riffs, and she did look too happy considering the subject matter of the song. We didn't really like the song either and agree that it was "lounge-y". Vocally though, we don’t have complaints. Good job, Mathai. Lovely. B

Tony Vincent “Everybody Wants to Rule the World”: Tony is a strong player in this competition, but this was his weakest performance so far. We don’t think the song fit him well. He needs to stick to stuff like Queen. We wish he had hair. He’s so tall and skinny too. He recalls Voldemort. We advise that he pick more rocking songs and never wink at the camera ever again. B-

Karla Davis “Airplanes”: We like that she tried to do an all-female, no rap version of this song, but her voice wasn’t strong enough to make it work. This turned into a disaster, but we enjoyed the surprise and the risk. Her voice WAS too whispery though. C-

Erin Martin “Walk Like an Egyptian”: Believe it or not, we like Erin. She seems sweet and we like her breezy, dumb manner. We think her voice could really work with the right songs. This wasn’t the right song and the performance was average. C

Pip “When You Were Young”: Shockingly, we don’t hate Pip either. He is adorable, and this was a solid performance, even though he is better with different genres. He’s vocally better than almost any of the guys American Idol has had in the last couple of years. B

Jamar Rogers “Are You Gonna Go My Way”: We love this guy’s attitude, and his performance was good. B+

The Oscars were boring, but TV was not.

Sunday shows:
Shameless - A Bottle of Jean Nate
We liked the stuff with Kevin and V mourning the loss of Ethel. We were horrified at Jody's sexual habits. When is "Kiss from a Rose" going to catch a break? That's a pretty song. Jasmine is a sketchball, but Fiona sort of did owe her a place to stay. 
Episode grade: B

Once Upon a Time - What Happened to Frederick
The stranger has a name, and it's August. We still miss Graham, but August is growing on us. In fact, his scenes with Emma might have been the highlight of this episode. We also really loved that Abigail/Kathryn has her own love. The evil queen's curse actually did something for Kathryn's happiness! It stopped her from leaving Storybrooke and going to law school. 
Episode grade: B

House of Lies - Bareback Town
We already knew that Marty has no morals, but this episode finally proved it. He threw one of the client's employees (someone he's known for years) under the bus just to keep the client. This will not go over well, since she has a new job with the competitor. We really enjoyed this episode because, though he has proven and will continue to prove that he has no scruples when it comes to his job, he's actually starting to care for the stripper we met in the pilot. He's just such a confusing man. His ex-wife is absolutely insane (or, well, more insane than we already knew) if she thinks that she could get full custody of Roscoe. Not only are you certifiably crazy, you're on the road as much as Marty is, and Roscoe's grandfather takes care of him when Marty isn't around. She probably has some psycho tricks up her sleeve though, not that she's usually wearing shirts when we see her onscreen.
Episode Grade: B+

Monday shows:
Pretty Little Liars - Breaking the Code
We have another couple we like: Wren and Spencer. How adorable are they? He brings out her sexy, drunk, even crazier side. Mona just made a bid to become one of our favorite characters. You can't threaten someone who isn't afraid of the truth. What a freaking bad ass. Mona is a great friend. This episode might have even ended with Maya's death. The show did spoil that there would be a death. We almost got rid of Ezra, who keeps chickening out. Aria has to always put the pieces back together and find a way for them to date. Now Ella is helping them work it out? Ugh. But we still think Ella is the best parent on this show of pretty awesome parents. This episode had some great emotion and is starting to address all the Melissa theorists. That probably means it isn't Melissa, unless they want to reveal A's identity before the finale. Doubt it. 
Episode grade: A

The Lying Game - Not Guilty as Charged
Wow how much does Sutton suck? While there are quite a few times that we enjoy her as a character, most of the time we just wish the tv series had started in the same way as the book series - with Sutton's death. Anyway, Ethan's case was dropped due to insufficient evidence, so that's definitely the last we'll be hearing about that case, right? Ha! Sutton pretended to be Emma and told Ethan that she (Emma) had slept with Thayer when Ethan and Sutton were hiding out on the ranch after Ethan told her (Sutton pretending to be Emma) that he had made out with Sutton but that she doesn't mean anything to him. Ouch, but seriously Sutton - you're the worst. You totally deserved that. Sutton then told Emma that she (Sutton) and Ethan slept together on the ranch. We hate you so, so much Sutton. Mads finally called Sutton out on being basically the world's worst friend, and while that might make a normal person change her ways, this is Sutton we're talking about. Also, Laurel and Baz are heading in the right direction, which we're pretty excited about. Justin is a horrible boyfriend and person, and Laurel deserves so much better, because she's pretty awesome.
Episode Grade: B

Hart of Dixie - Snowflakes & Soulmates
Lemon and George tried to elope, but obviously that wasn't going to happen. Lavon got his parents back together and broke up with Didi, because he's obviously still in love with Lemon. Zoe tried to send some macaroons to her dad in Germany, but found out that he moved back to New York and hasn't tried to contact her. Ouch. She and Brick had a little heart-to-heart about that while Zoe drove him to South Carolina (for Lemon and George's elopement which, again, was never actually going to happen). All in all, a pretty decent episode for this show that one of us likes more than is rational.
Episode Grade: B

Smash - Enter Mr. DiMaggio
Ugh. We almost got a male character involved in the show who was straight and not a douche. But it turns out he slept with a married woman and is being awfully friendly to her now that they are reunited. Julia cheated on her caveman! We like the new character though, and we like how that assistant is turning into a full-on villain. The songs were ok, although we don't know that "Redneck Woman" needed to be covered by this show. At least the rock version of "Grenade" made sense in the plot. 
Episode grade: B

The Voice - Blind Auditions Part 4
The only notable voices in this episode, in our opinion, were Jamie Lono (who sang "Folsom Prison Blues") and Charlotte Sometimes (who sang "Apologize"). Jamie really brought something to "Folsom Prison Blues", and honestly, and version of a Johnny Cash song that doesn't immediately make us go "ugh please stop" is really, really good, because we love Johnny Cash. We're glad he's on Team CeeLo. Charlotte Sometimes a) cannot be her real name and b) reminded us of Xenia a little too, so we're glad she's on Team Blake.
Episode Grade: B

How I Met Your Mother - No Pressure

Shockingly, despite lack of early-season hilarity, we liked this one. Maybe it was the hopeful, smart ending. Maybe it was the inclusion of Florence and the Machine's "Shake It Out." Maybe it was how much we were reminded that Marshall and Ted are such great friends. But, overall, this episode did not leave us annoyed and angry, like the last couple. We wish Marshall had paid up at the end though, since we know Robin isn't the mother.

Episode grade: B

Being Human - "Addicted to Love" and "Mama Said There'd Be Decades Like This"

Sally is a rapist who drove a woman crazy now, and Josh is concerned. We're not gonna lie, we thought it was awesome when Josh went to town on Nora's Chris Brown. But it was even more awesome when Nora and the siblings killed him. That storyline was part of the wolves' downward spiral, but this particular step in the downfall wasn't entirely unwelcome. This season, we are liking Nora and Josh more as a couple. We got to see why Mother punished Suren in the first place, meaning that we got a few more shots of Aidan's hideous little mustache. We loved the twist that Henry, Aidan's traitorous underling, was alive. We weren't digging the ghost/imaginary Bishop. Also, we were shocked when Josh traded the purebred siblings for Nora/his freedom. That's pretty rude, but we don't blame him.
Episode grades: B and B

Tuesday shows:
Glee - On My Way
NOOOOOOO Quinn! Maybe you aren't as sad as we are about Q, but we've always liked her. Even when she acted psycho, she at least had a reason to be a jerk, unlike when Mercedes started acting douche-y this season. Quinn's recent good advice, good decisions, and that moment where she advised both Rachel and Mercedes when they went through their "looks insecurity" phase makes her someone we root for. We can't believe we have to wait until April to find out if Quinn is OK, although we are guessing she ___, because of these set photos. Glee did manage to send an important message about texting while driving, we guess. Glee made us cry this week. Literally. And over KAROFSKY, so, bravo show. We know we have a lot of teen readers and that those years can be hard. (Not that suicide is just for teens) If you ever feel hopeless and hate yourself enough to consider suicide, please call a hotline and/or keep fighting. It really will pass and you don't want to give whatever is trying to tear you down a victory. Getting help and sticking around shows that, while you have your problems and life sucks right now, you're a bad ass and won't go down, ever. In "what the hell?" news, Sue is pregnant and the Finchel wedding was moved to right after Regionals (although Quinn's crash might stop it). Also, New Directions won at Regionals. The third place show choir might have been the funniest thing about this episode. We were disappointed in the Kelly Clarkson song, because the voices just didn't have the same oomph as Kelly's. It was a misfire. Also, Rachel's solo didn't fit her voice at all (the original version of the song is fun though). We feel cheated, but not by the cliffhanger and hour-long anti-suicide PSA. Lots of people thought that stuff was sensational and cheap, but we thought it was nice, shocking, and that it fit the show. They hadn't really ever addressed that topic and honestly, given the characters they have, we're surprised it took them this long.
Episode grade: A

Switched at Birth - The Art of Painting
Regina had her art show and Bay was jealous, but got over it (basically). Emmet is still doing speech therapy, and told Bay he wants to drop out of school because he thinks getting a GED is the same as a high school diploma and he doesn't need any more than that to be a photographer. Bay told Emmet's mom, and she forced Emmet to go back to school. Bay, you did the right thing. Don't let Emmet make you think differently. Also, Daphne found out that the Carlton women's basketball team is going to be cut, so she leaves Buckner to go back to her old school. We're glad, since it didn't really make sense that she could leave in the first place. Side note: we really don't mention this show enough. We're working on rectifying that.
Episode Grade: B

Jane By Design - The Wedding Gown
Donovan Decker designed a wedding dress for "American royalty" that the soon-to-be princess didn't love, so Jeremy, India, Carter, and Jane had to stay late to make a new dress for her. Of course, infallible Jane designs a gorgeous gown, that India takes credit for. While we like that India tried to give Jane credit while showing the dress to Jeremy, we wish she would've just owned up to it when Jane told Jeremy that it was her design. We get it, India sucks and Jane is awesome. Anyway, of course the future princess loves Jane's design (which was based on Jane's mother's gown), but the redesign process caused Jane to miss a date with Billy and Nick. Luckily, it gives the boys time to bond and they become friendly. Honestly, this show isn't great, but Erica Dasher (who plays Jane) is just so, so likeable.
Episode Grade: B

Wednesday shows:
Suburgatory - Fire with Fire
Other than Happy Endings and Cougar Town, this is probably the funniest show that no one is watching. We haven't really looked into the ratings, but no one we know watches Suburgatory. Dallas filed for divorce and is feeling and looking better than ever. This inspires Noah's wife to leave him. He wins her back by pretty much every romantic gesture we can think of. Dalia is still upset at Tessa for "stealing" Scott Strauss so she steals Lisa as a friend. Tessa fights back and steals Kamantha as a friend, and Lisa comes back when she sees Kamantha and Malik doing the Dougie at a school dance. Re-reading this paragraph makes us wonder how this show is actually as funny as it is, because nothing in the recap really stands out. Trust us though, it's laugh out loud funny.
Episode Grade: B+

Thursday shows:
Secret Circle
There was no new episode this week, but we have a question: Why did no one point out to us that Daddy is SULLY from Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman? Yeah, we should have noticed ourselves, but he was covered in beard, had short hair, and has aged a bit. Still. That's important information.

The Office - After Hours
Ryan tries to hit on Erin, but either realizes he's "in love with Kelly" when Erin says something about waiting six months to do it or realizes he doesn't want to wait six months for Erin when he has a sure thing waiting in Scranton. Nellie tries to sleep with Dwight. Kathy tries to sleep with Jim. Dwight preventing hookups might just be the best thing this show has done in a while. Sidenote: Poor Darryl.
Episode Grade: B

Parks and Recreation - Sweet Sixteen
The Ron/Leslie relationship is so darling. Ann and Ron are STILL happening, despite April's best efforts (go April!). It looks like Chris is depressed about that. Jerry's birthday surprise was hilarious when only Ben popped up. We love this show. 
Episode grade: A-

Grey's Anatomy - If Only You Were Lonely
Cristina thinks Owen is cheating and Meredith's VO left us unsure. Either Cristina is crazy, or one of our favorite geek goddesses (Summer Glau) is banging Cristina's husband. If Owen cheats, we will be firmly on team Cristina, forever, rather than our current team, which is "Team Both of You Are Wrong But For Good Reasons." You all know we don't care about the Chief and Adele, but this episode made even us feel bad for them. The stuff with Zola's hair was dumb. Bailey just should have told Derek right away. We loved the peds case. The shrapnel in the guy's chest was disgusting. Overall, this was emotional, funny Grey's at its best. 
Episode grade: A

Movies: We watched Courageous, which is definitely a Christian movie. Why is Christian stuff is so bad usually, in modern times? Religious music, like Handel's Messiah, used to be the most beautiful stuff around. There is some good Christian music, but most of it sounds lame. Christian-themed books, like Dostoevsky's stuff, Dante's Inferno, or Lord of the Rings used to be deep and subtle. Courageous was one of the better Christian films we've seen, and it still wasn't very good. Its worst crime was hammering moral points home in such an overt way that it insulted its audience. The audience should be able to apply ideas to life themselves and pick out the themes, not have it spelled out for them. Most of the acting was bad. The plot was all over the place. The movie was hard to get through, and the heavy-handed dialogue proves that just because something is labeled "Christian" doesn't make it good, unless the message of movies are all that matter to you and you are a Christian. We feel cheated, because the opening scene was cool.  Grade: D 

Books: We read Moon Called by Patricia Briggs, which is the first in a series. The reason we read it was because we saw a reviewer call it "everything the Anita Blake books should be." Now, the Anita Blake books are entertaining reads with a LOT of problems (not the least of which being the main character turning into a super slut and the books having no plots halfway through the series), so a series that fixed those problems appealed to us. The main character of Moon Called, Mercy, can turn into a coyote because of some Native American blood. We were not enthused about this because that's not a very cool power. However, Mercy is a cool girl, even if it took her half a book to grow on us. She's less of a Mary Sue than Anita. Her neighbors are a pack of werewolves, a couple of witches, and a few vampires. We didn't see a lot of the vampires, but what we saw was good and creepy. The book started off entertaining, then it slowed to a crawl just before halfway through. Fortunately, it picked up and got entertaining again in the second half. We started to like the secondary characters and could see them being set up like pieces on what should be an entertaining chess board in subsequent books. There's a nice love triangle shaping up. We're team Adam so far. We're not obsessed with this series yet, but we will read another book. 
Grade: B

OLD SHOW ALERT:
Ern is watching Veronica Mars for the first time. She's 11 episodes in, and it's everything everyone says it is. It has a quick wit and snappy dialogue, Kristen Bell will win you over in at least the first couple of episodes, and you will actually care about the overarching plotlines. Bell plays the titular character, a high school girl who works for her PI dad. The show is so good that Ern doesn't even care when Veronica blatantly breaks laws that even PIs have to follow, as if she can't get in trouble. She's just that cool. This is one of those shows like Firefly and Arrested Development that no one watched (even though it got 3 seasons), but everyone should regret their decision that now that the DVDs are out to binge upon. We hear quality drops in season three, but we will tell you if it's worth watching in that final season. This show is smart, funny, and there is drama to spare. Don't you want to see what The O.C. would be like if it were a Twin Peaks-esque mystery instead of a soap opera? There's a gangster kid named WEEVIL. Weevil love you long time. There are a lot of great guest stars (except for Paris Hilton), including future Oscar nominee Jessica Chastain, Aaron Paul, Schmidt on New Girl (whom Leeard calls "Deputy Leo from Veronica Mars" when she watches New Girl), and Josh on Being Human. We recognize someone new every episode. This is one of Leeard's all-time favorite shows, with good reason. Ern is happy Leeard is making her watch it. Leeard is gloating, since she's been trying FOREVER to get Ern to watch it, and is finally vindicated.
Pilot grade: A-, Credit Where Credit's Due: A, Meet John Smith: B+, The Wrath of Con: A-, You Think You Know Somebody: B+, Return of the Kane: B, The Girl Next Door: B-, Like a Virgin: B+, Drinking the Kool-Aid: B+, An Echolls Family Christmas: A, and Silence of the Lamb: A-

Music:
Ern hates most country music, but has come around to Miranda Lambert due to Miranda's attitude about Chris Brown. Leeard notes, "Duh, Miranda Lambert music is good." Miranda is as not-ok with Brown's comeback as Ern is and said, "Where I come from, it's never OK to hit a woman...that's why my daddy taught me to use a shotgun early on." Amen. While Leeard still enjoys Brown's music, Ern thinks he forfeited the right to be famous and have his art heard when he hit a woman, even if Rihanna forgives him. Miranda held up a sign that said "take notes Chris Brown" during a performance of her song "Gunpowder and Lead." It's about a woman shooting an abusive husband. "I'm gonna show him what little girls are made of/gunpowder and lead." It's a good song, even to the ears of a country hater. Also, Ern has finally gotten the Mumford and Sons CD and it's good, especially the lyrics. Due to the Glee episode, we bought Young and the Giant's CD too. Also good.

The Voice - Blind Auditions Part 3

Let's get right into the performances.

Sarah Golden - We like when they do the shadowy “what do they look like?!!” thing with the audience. In Sarah’s case, the first question was “is it a man or is it a woman?” We decide it’s a man, and then the man says, “Record labels told me that I needed a different look.” Then we decided it was a woman. Record labels let uggo guys sings all the time. With girls, it’s practically unheard of. Decent voice. Not a favorite though. We like her as a person and her demeanor. We don’t know if her folk voice fit Lady Gaga’s power pop though. We really need to hear her sing something else. We will get to, because she advanced to Team Cee Lo.

Elley Duhe - Spell your child’s name right, people. This girl is 19 and quit HIGH SCHOOL. She did it with her parent’s approval to focus on music, even though she a) does not have Lea Michele’s voice and b) does not look like Britney Spears. Those are the only two things that would make dropping out of high school a good idea. She’s not good enough to do that. Fantastic job, parents. Good range, but an unpleasant tone and pitchy notes killed it. She had a good attitude too. She WAS humble and gracious. Her last note WAS good. But in the end, it was not enough and she was sent home.

Pip - Can we get a last name? Pip wears a bowtie to audition, so we like him already. He’s into musical theater, so that explains the wardrobe. All musical theater people are freaking hipsters. He’s adorable, but his voice might be too Broadway. We’d like to see him sing something besides "House of the Rising Sun". His voice could be good with a song that fit it. Really, after Haley Reinhart did "House of the Rising Sun" on Idol, no one should try it again. That version was unbeatable. All four judges turn around, but Adam ends up with Pip.

Erin Willett - Sob story alert! Dying father. We love her relationship with her father though. We also love her attitude about it. “One day he won’t be here; but today’s not that day.” Great voice, but it’s not very unique. One of us hates the song she picked though ("I Want You Back") and we both don’t think she’ll make it far. We got to see the dad tear up a little in happiness. Is this show trying to kill us? Blake picks her, and we are so happy, especially for the dad.

David Grace - College football player and coach?!! Hot. You know what’s not hot? That facial hair. This guy did a boring rendition of "Sweet Home Alabama", but at least he could play guitar. Blake makes a good point that just because they are country doesn’t mean he is going to pick them. They have to be just as good as the mainstream artists. This guy slid up to his notes too much and that hit the judges the wrong way. We agree and are glad he didn’t get picked.

Katrina Parker - Making us watch the audition invitation delivery was lame. She has a sob story too, and it involves mold. She has a little of that ADELE sound, only she is nowhere near as good as ADELE. She slid up to notes too, but Adam liked that she was “different” and turned his chair around, so she will advance on his team. Cee Lo hit on her. We love you Cee Lo, you weird effer.

Geoff McBride - This 51-year-old seems like a cool guy, but maybe that’s just the sunglasses he has to wear. He also used to kickbox and has his own sob story about his dead dad. Also, he has kids, so double whammy for those at home rooting for people over voices. Still, at this point we were getting sick of the sob stories and were waiting for a powerhouse voice or something we would download. You really can’t beat Erin’s cancer dad tonight. Geoff sings and  doesn’t sound very modern (he’s singing Stevie Wonder, so that might have been a factor), but he can sing. Christina pushed her button first. It was at this point we started to hate when the judges would holler at other judges to push their buttons. They think it’s good, but it’s not their taste, so they try to pawn people off on their co-judges. Stop it. If they are good, push your own button. Cee Lo must have heard us muttering at the TV, because he stopped trying to get Adam to turn around and just pushed his own button. This guy does have great energy, Christina. He goes with Christina.

Erin Martin - This is our second “Erin” of the night. “Erin” is a stupid name, haha. She is fantastically gorgeous and used to model. Even the crazy, awful hair she had didn’t ruin her. We were nervous about this one at first. She said that labels have told her that she needs coaching. Also, someone who has only been singing for two or three years makes us question their ability. With singing, you usually start in your teens or as a child, or you just don’t have it. It’s not a talent that hides itself. She gets picked early by Blake Shelton and Cee Lo who are probably delighted to see her. She has a raspy, Macy Grey thing going, but it’s pleasant, unique, on key, cute, and fit her song ("Hey There Delilah") perfectly. It’s like Macy mixed with Regina Spektor. Cee Lo hit on her. You know, she doesn’t have a great, showstopping voice, but it’s weird enough that we like her. She seems really fun. We kind of think she is lying about only singing for two or three years though. She goes with Team Cee Lo.

James Massone - This guy’s job SUCKS. He's from Boston though, so Leeard loves him already. We get yet another sob story. James’ friends were shot in a recording studio or something. He tells us that “you never know when it’s gonna be your last day.” Thanks for the memo, Oprah. He sounds like Zac Efron or something, and not in a good way. He sounds 12 years old. The judges think that equals cash money with the pre-teens, so three of them turn around. We raised our eyebrows. This guy is borderline bad. This is the first time this season that the judges picked a dud, in our opinions. Talk about pitchy. Talk about whiny. Bleck. He joins Cee Lo’s team. We guess we are happy to see him succeed, because he cried and he’s sort of sweet. He’s 23. Man, that voice is never gonna drop is it? Was this boy castrated?

Winter Rae - Parents, if you name your child Winter, she will end up with short, blue hair, cut in the most unattractive style possible. She will also have tattoos and work in a bowling alley. You have been warned. (If you name your kid “Summer,” the opposite will happen and she will be even more unbearable. Probably a blond, generic cheerleader who is mean to you.) She looks scary but she sings R&B, not rock. She’s friends with Perez Hilton. That’s probably how she got on this show. She is white, but she does not sound white. Her tone is thin. Lea Michele’s version of "Take a Bow" was much better. Winter did not get picked, but at least The Voice got a Perez Hilton guest appearance out of this woman. Adam gives Winter a speech about how they all were once rejected and how she should never give up. Blake tells her that her hair is cool. It’s not, Blake. Crazy hair is only cool if it makes you look better.

Chris Cauley - Sorry, bro, but Bruno Mars has the silkiest voice on "Grenade", and yours just didn’t measure up. His version of "Grenade" was also a little too toned-down. We think the comparison and song choice hurt him in the beginning, but two judges finally realized that the voice was good in itself and pushed their buttons. He joins team Adam, but in order for us to like him, he is going to need to bring us something a little less snooze-inducing. It was nice, but we don’t need someone to sing us to sleep like little snug babies. We need someone to knock our socks off. That still hasn’t happened in this episode.

The judges then pick three people who don’t get a chance to sing their whole songs. This is a blessing, considering one of them was an “M.C.” who sang “Let’s Get it Started.” Christina picked him, because she’s insane.

Jordis Unga - This girl has a Swedish mom and Tongan dad and is probably asked, “What race are you?” on a day-to-day basis. Or she would be, if people were way ruder than they are. She gets the last laugh, because she's great-looking. We liked her emotion and her spot-on Christina Aguilera impression, but we weren’t that impressed. She can certainly holler and the first two lines of the song were pretty. She has a great voice underneath her raspy style. She does squats when she sings, which is interesting. She goes with Blake.

We love when Cee Lo is shown holding his cat. We think everyone does.

Christina Millian, you still exist?

Blake: “Even Christina’s smilin’ and she never smiles.” Christina: “**** you!” Haha

The Voice - Season 2, Week 1

We have decided that this is the most tolerable of the reality shows searching for singers. First of all, there is less time wasting on this show. The overall running times are reasonable, unlike worst time-sucking offender The X-Factor, which asks us to dedicate several hours per week. The Voice also has less spectacle and shock value. It’s less annoying. There are fewer bright lights flashing in our faces and overeager hosts. We like that this show doesn’t make fun of people or bring through all the rejects. Nobody buys that Simon and Randy screen all these people first, and yet the Idol and X-Factor formats are designed to make us think they sit through everyone and have the biggest say on who gets picked. They don’t.

One thing that makes this show great is that they offer downloads of the singers’ covers on iTunes from the start, rather than just when the people hit the top 12 or so (and that it will eventually count in the voting). We also like that the singers pick their coaches and that only one judge has to like you for you to get a shot. It’s kind of annoying when the singers say, “This is such a tough decision.” MANY of them say that, and you roll your eyes, because you know these people have researched the judges, their connections, and their credentials, and they know who they want, for the most part. The show DOES begin with the highest level of talent, but it’s a little lame that the show claims to judge people entirely on their voices.

That’s just not true. The producers and showrunners screen these people for looks and sob stories. Only the judges evaluate these people on voice alone, but they only get to evaluate from a pool pre-selected and probably even screen tested by the producers. This method does serve to make the show classier and it reduces the focus on looks, but it shouldn’t claim that it goes for voice alone. We love that all the judges have different sounds and do current music. Simon is still looking for Celine Dion 2.0. These judges are looking for something different. Yeah, they tend to favor their own genres and voices like their own, but since they all sound so different, that results in variety.

Let’s get right into the contestants we saw this week on Monday and Superbowl Sunday.

• RaeLynn was the first. We loved her. She did have a little Miranda Lambert going on, and that’s fine. Ern is not a country fan, and even she enjoyed this performance.
• Jesse Campbell started out bashing his ex, saying that she left him because he couldn’t provide the lifestyle she wanted. Uh…yeah. Relationships are usually more complicated than that, and that sounds like one side of the story. He should have kept that tidbit to himself. Bashing exes on TV is immature. We do like how committed to his daughter he was. He had a good voice AND a sob story (homelessness) so you knew he was getting on this show. He’s not one of our faves, but the voice is there. We're pretty sure all of the judges thought of Javier Colon when Jesse started singing.
• Daniel Rosa was our first crier of the season. His voice was too breath-y due to nerves. The ending was ok, but the beginning was way too rough for him to have a chance. No one picked him and the judges told him to work on pitch and control. This is something else we enjoy about The Voice: we feel like the coaches are actually helping the people they don't choose, and still encourage them to pursue their dreams.
• Juliet Simms had a little of what Ern calls goat vibrato, and we are starting to get tired of singers who can only get character in their singing by growling. The judges, however, loved her “gruffness” and “dirt.” Leeard liked her, overall, and Ern admits that her riffs were right on and, underneath the poseur rock raps, she had a nice tone. We loved Christina making fun of Adam during this round. We also like that Juliet walked out of there feeling “accepted for who she is.” That’s always nice.
• Chris Mann came in with just the right sob story. Cancer mom. But he also came in with a risky song choice. Opera people coming into these things singing operatic songs in other languages? That makes it rough for the judges to see them making modern music. Lots of classically trained singers have put their voices into powerhouse pop, like Pat Benatar. We thought this guy would be shown the door, but the judges proved they want variety. We like that Chris had the guts to go in as himself, rather than “shrink his voice to fit popular music.” If Cee Lo can dig opera, anyone can.
• Tony Lucca was Christina’s former Mickey Mouse Club castmate. The producers had to tell Christina who he was, and she gave him some very belated info - Britney Spears had a crush on him. She went a tad crazy years later, but we have a feeling Tony is still regretting not having these facts earlier, haha. As a singer, he was good, but one of us didn’t like the way he snubbed Christina by not telling her who he was and by not picking her as a coach. It came off as jealousy. One of us is completely fine with his decisions; he chose the coach he thought would help them the most, and he didn't make her feel bad in front of the audience by basically calling her out on not remembering him.
• The second hour started with the judges performing. Man, Christina is a great live singer. Cee Lo is pretty good too. Blake was a little too different than the others, so he didn’t fit as nicely into the performance with his country sound (side note: shut up, Ern. He was awesome). Adam was a little too quiet in front of all that loud background music. We would like to thank Christina for not dressing like a hooker who only has access to clothing three sizes too small for her. We think Christina has a great body, but no matter what size or shape you are, you have to know how to dress it to your advantage. It's not just for curvy girls like Aguilera. It's the same way if you are a skinny stick who just goes straight down. You don't want to be wearing long, slinky dresses that will just emphasize your lack of hips. Christina seems to have learned her lesson after last year's famous short shorts. Ladies, retire the short shorts after the age of 28. Now if she would just lose the rings. She could also use a different hair color. We don’t think that’s the right shade of blonde for her. The best thing might be a light brown, frankly. The performance was nice and short. Again with the no time wasting. There are also a reasonable number of commercial breaks on this show.
• The duo The Line was nice, but we were unenthused, overall. Together, they sound fine. We thought it was funny how pissed Blake was when the rest of the judges turned around so that they could horn in on his country duo.
• Jamar Rogers, you had a good voice and were rightly chosen for this show. Sorry about the HIV, bro. One of us immediately remembered him from Idol (like 3 years ago) and is glad to see him again.
• Neal Middleton, why wouldn’t you tell us how you fell off that building in the first place? That sounds like a part of the story we need to hear. We loved his sweet, supportive wife, but this guy needs to give up the rock star dream. He is 33 and needs to seek his health insurance elsewhere. He picked a great song ("Heard It Through the Grapevine"), but he had a butt-rock/Creed-like voices we didn’t care for. There is no way he would have won the show, because his sound is not unique. We completely agreed with Blake, too: he shouldn't have started (and stayed at) 10.
• Country crooner Gwen Sebastian had to choose between using her drying up eggs and making it in music while the face is still good. Ahh, the challenges we women face. Gwen picked music over babies and tried out for The Voice. One of us thought she had an annoying voice at first, but through her song, the tone got more appealing. We are happy to see her succeed and like her, overall. We don’t think she will make it far though.
• Pamela Rose was so attractive that she would have been picked if the judges could have seen her. Roll on over to Simon Cowell, girl. He’s the patron saint of hotties who can’t sing. Pamela’s earrings were obnoxiously large and her voice was shout-y and pitchy. The song she chose was appropriately titled "Already Gone".
• Kim Yarbrough had great skin, especially for a 50-year-old woman. We agreed with her that if you say old people aren’t allowed to sing, you are depriving the world of something. That something is probably more substantial, wiser lyrics. However, the industry panders to teens, and teens want to see young people. Kim had a decent alto. We want to hear her sing a different song before we make our minds up about her.
• Angie Johnson was next. She was the military chick and THIS is the story that got Ern, stalwart backstory hater. Just give us the singing! Here, Ern got chills, because there’s something about all this Band of Brothers business that melts her a bit. We preferred Angie’s voice singing "Rolling in the Deep" on the youtube video, but she was still pretty good in her audition. "Heartbreaker" was a bad choice. We think she is better at clear-voiced pop than rock. Christina was starting to annoy us with the fake-presses. She lets her hand hover and then jerks it away. Attention whoring. We’re rooting for Angie and we want to see her sing something else, soon. That song made her sound too generic. Good job hitting your button, Cee Lo.
• Dez gave up on Yale to move away and pursue singing. MORON, wait until after graduation. You will look and sound the same, and there will still be a singing competition show. Probably the same ones. You were in YALE!!! The judges were angry when they saw that they gave up on a cutie. Everyone thought Adam would feel his sound and style, sing it was high pop, like Adam sings. But Adam’s face let us know immediately that he would never have pushed the button for this kid. He was firm in his decision. Dez did not do well and was rightly booted. We're pretty sure he'll be one of the singers they bring back in a few weeks for second chance auditions.
• After that, we saw our current favorite, Lindsey Pavao. Her version of "Say Aah" was so much better than the Trey Songz version. It actually had a melody in her version. Her jazzy version made the song and lyrics sound almost haunting/eerie. When she told the “shorty” to say aah and that she knew he was thirsty, it sounded like she was some sort of unique-voiced vixen dragging this “shorty” right to the bowels of debauchery. We mean that in the best possibly way. It’s always a good idea to bend the gender on songs, meaning that guys should cover girls songs and the other way around. It instantly makes it more unique and more your own, and it’s harder to compare you to the original singer. We both downloaded this performance and it’s even better recorded. Good call, Christina. Adam, you are crazy. Although maybe he was able to foresee her crazy hair. It was a HALF BUZZCUT. Good lord, why?
• Hoja Lopez followed, covering "Teenage Dream". She had weird pronunciation and bad pitch. Was she trying to do some sort of accent? We agree with the judges for not picking her. These judges didn’t let good people slip away and knew when not to push the button. They didn’t make a mistake once, through all the different genres, styles, and ages. They really know their stuff. We frequently scream at our screens during American Idol auditions when good people are let go.
• Jermaine Paul, friend of Alicia Keys, picked a bad song to audition with, but his voice came through anyway. And WOW, Alicia, way to make a good luck recording that sounded totally insincere and rehearsed. Bleck. Also, stop growling, people. We understand that it can be appealing, but it’s overdone lately.
• We left off with Angel Taylor, our second favorite. We would have liked her better if she hadn’t picked an ADELE song. That version is hard to stand up to. Also, everyone has heard it so many times that we are a) tired of it and b) so used to ADELE singing it that any other voice just sounds wrong doing it. Except for Glee’s Santana and Mercedes, maybe. Angel sang the word “heard” weirdly too. It distracted us. This girl had a record deal before and was dropped from her label (as happens frequently on this show). Ern actually had her album, years ago, and her voice was decent on it. It was the songwriter who should have been chucked, not her. Check out the song “Chai Tea Latte.” It was probably the best song on that CD. Angel has a really nice voice and a sob story that tugged our heartstrings enough that we would call it “effective.” We think she should do well in the competition and we like that this show gives people second chances. Several great artists needed second chances. We also loved her family’s reaction during the audition. They seem like a riot. More of them, please! In this day and age, if Angel makes it big, we might have a reality show with this crowd to look forward to. Any family has to be more entertaining than those boring-ass Kardashians.

 We will likely cover this in the following weeks. It deserves it, and we don't cover reality TV enough (because most of it sucks). Drinking game: Take a shot every time we are forced to use the phrase "sob story."

The Voice so far

Well, now that American Idol is done, we're glad that The Voice is here to keep us company. Here's a list of the people on each team and our thoughts about them.

Team Adam:

Casey Weston – One of us loves her. She had a pretty good blind audition, and she sounded amazing in the duet. She has a tendency to sound a little …. goat-y at times, but if she cuts that out, she’s a great singer. We don’t expect her to win, but we’ll enjoy her voice as long as she’s on the show.

Javier Colon – An early favorite, for good reason. His audition was definitely better than his duet, but we’re just glad he knocked out Angela Wolff. He’ll stay for a while, if his iTunes success is any indication.

Devon Barley – This pre-med student is just too precious. We think he pretty handily beat Rebecca Loebe, even if the song wasn’t the best choice for either of the singers. We haven’t heard too much about him though, so he’ll have to grow a fan base quickly.

Jeff Jenkins – We adore him. He has such an amazing voice. We read a comment about him somewhere that described his voice as a good hug, which is basically the best way we can think to describe it. He’s definitely one of the frontrunners right now.

Best duet:

Verdict: Team Adam is pretty stacked. The only change that we can think of that might’ve made his team even stronger would’ve been Casey Desmond instead of Devon Barley, and even that isn’t too big of an increase in talent. Team Adam should do well in the next phase of the competition.

Team Blake:

Patrick Thomas – We are so confused by him. We enjoy his voice, and he seems like a nice enough guy, but there’s something about him that comes across, to us, as fake. Judging by what just happened on American Idol, though, we might be in for the long haul with Patrick.

Jared Blake – We’re kind of meh about him. We like his backstory, and we definitely think he’s put in enough hard work and dedication that we’re happy for him for getting this far, but we haven’t been blown away by him. Hopefully he’ll do something awesome soon so we can be fully on his side.

Dia Frampton – One of us loves the band Meg & Dia, so we’re thrilled that Dia is on this show. We’re kind of surprised that she seems so awkward on stage, since she’s been performing for so long now. Her voice is so amazing though, so we’re glad she gets to share it with more people on this show. She probably won’t last too long, but one of us is crossing her fingers, hoping she sings “Monster” before she leaves.

Xenia Martinez – We love her. Once she gets more confident on the stage, we hope she’ll start kicking butt. From what we’ve seen so far, she has a great, young personality; if she lets America see that, she should stick around.

Best duet:

Verdict: Team Blake isn’t too bad. One of us loves Dia and Xenia, but we aren’t too sure that Blake’s team will have the mass appeal that other teams appear to have. We possibly would’ve picked Tyler Robinson over Patrick Thomas, but we’re okay with the decisions.

Team Cee-Lo:

Vicci Martinez – Easily had our favorite duet of the entire battle rounds. We think she has a great energy and we’re so excited to see her next week. The goodwill she earned from the duet will last her a few weeks, for us at least.

Nakia – We are way less excited about Nakia than the judges and most of America seem to be. We like his voice, but we just don’t understand it. But apparently people don’t agree with us, since the judges love him.

Tori and Taylor Thompson – We have a confession to make. One of us loved American Juniors, and remembers quite a bit about the show. So much so that when they first appeared on The Voice, she knew exactly who they were. While they’re not spectacular singers alone, together they’re good. We don’t think they can win though; the show isn’t called The Voice(s).

Curtis Grimes – We are shocked. Not that Curtis and Emily kissed, but that Cee-Lo picked country Curtis over punk rock Emily.

Best duet:

Verdict: We’re confused by Cee-Lo’s team. We adore Vicci and we know the crowd and judges love Nakia, but Curtis over Emily? And Tori and Taylor over Kelsey? We’ll see about this.

Team Christina:

Frenchie Davis – One of us preferred Tarralyn over Frenchie in the duet, which surprised us. Frenchie has a pretty good amount of name-recognition though, so we expect her to do well.

Beverly McClellan – We love her. She honestly seems like someone we would want to hang out with, which is kind of rare in a reality competition show. We want her to do well.

Raquel Castro – Again, we disagree with Christina’s decision. We think Julia Eason out-sang Raquel in their duet, but apparently Christina forgot, again, to call us to ask our opinion. She's cute, and has a fun personality, but we don't see her lasting long.

Lily Elise – We didn't love this duet, but after Christina was bummed she didn't pick Lily the first time, we're not surprised she chose her as the winner of the duet. We don't see her lasting too long either.

Best duet:

Verdict: We disagreed with quite a few choices Christina made, but we'll defer to her expertise in this area. We hope Beverly does really well, though.