Summer TV List

Family Tree- May 12

Arrested Development- May 26

The Fall- May 28

Teen Wolf- June 3

The Fosters- June 3

Switched At Birth- June 10

Twisted- June 11

Pretty Little Liars- June 11

Wilfred- June 20

Copper- June 23

Under the Dome- June 24

Big Brother- June 26

Dexter- June 30

Ray Donovan- June 30

Orange is the New Black- July 11

Web Therapy- July 22

The Bridge- July TBA

Breaking Bad- August 11

Low Winter Sun- August 11

We are dropping True Blood, which gets more and more boring each season. We couldn’t give a crap about a single character anymore.

The Rest of the Shows We Watched

Well, Ern decided to go goof around at Disney World for three days. If you saw a grown-ass woman trotting around Hollywood Studios, swinging a blue lightsaber and making dinosaur noises, then you saw  Ern. Sadly, that means no one watched new shows Touch and Missing yet, since that was Ern's job. Hopefully that will happen shortly/next week. But here are the rest! Thank Leeard, mostly, lol.

Sunday
GCB - Hell Hath No Fury
Leeard is still enjoying this show, but we're both hoping some things change in the next few weeks. It's getting repetitive and it's only been on for two weeks.
Episode Grade: B

House of Lies - Ouroboros
Marty finally found out that Jeannie is engaged, but plays it off to help her save face with Wes. Monica is mad that Marty is seeing someone else, so she files for sole custody. Oh Monica. You dumb, crazy bitch. Marty's new girlfriend is great with Roscoe and we hate Monica, so we're rooting for Marty. Also, Monica's consulting firm is doing the due diligence for the MetroCapital merger, which obviously sucks for Marty.
Episode Grade: B

Monday
Alcatraz - Clarence Montgomery
A man is sent to Alcatraz after being wrongfully convicted of murder. We should mention that he's black and he was convicted in the 1960s. He's in our time now and actually committing crimes. Apparently, he was brainwashed back in Alcatraz so he's convinced he's guilty and won't be anything but a murder for the rest of his life. He finds an old friend from the rock who notices he hasn't aged. When Rebecca, Doc and Hauser find Clarence at his friend's apartment, Clarence asks his friend to kill him so he both stops murdering and doesn't go back to jail. Hauser is upset, because Clarence had the lady doctor's blood type and could've saved her life.
Episode Grades: C

Tuesday
Switched at Birth - The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters
Part of this episode was pretty cool. We like that Bay and Daphne teamed up for Emmett's birthday gift - making a deaf zombie movie. Too bad he doesn't deserve it, because he and Simone are acting cagey as hell pretending that they didn't sleep together at the basketball tournament. Wilke finds out because he accidentally reads Simone's texts with Emmett and he obviously disapproves. We obviously disapprove because Simone is the worst. We don't really know how to feel about Emmett not telling Bay. The truth is obviously going to come out eventually (probably next week, since that's the season finale), and it's not going to be pretty.
Episode Grade: B

Cougar Town - A One Story Town
That end tag was probably the best ever. So funny, even for people who don't love Scrubs. Jules got way too involved in the lives of her friends, as usual, but it's always out of love. She tried to set Bobby and Travis' photography professor (Angie) on the perfect date leading to the perfect kiss, because Bobby is a horrible date but the best kisser (according to Jules). Obviously, things go awry, but it obviously ends up all right. This is honestly one of the shows we wish we could live in.
Episode Grade: A

Body of Proof - Identity
We are so sick of crime shows doing an episode with this plot. Two girls who look similar are in a car accident in which one dies. They're misidentified at the scene. Seriously, when we were watching and found out that two girls had been in the car accident we said to the tv "please don't do this plot, you're better than that". Unfortunately, the show didn't listen to us. We still really like Megan and Aiden (mainly because Jamie Bamber is gorgeous and we miss Battlestar Galactica), but this show needs to stop recycling plots from every other crime show.
Episode Grade: D

Wednesday
Suburgatory - Independence Day
Tessa wants to become an independent, self-sufficient woman, so she gets a job at Dallas' crystal store. George worries that there's something going on in Tessa's life that she won't share with him. He finds the poem she wrote for the cool teacher's poetry class and worries even more about if this means that Tessa wants to see her mother. He meets with Tessa's maternal grandmother to see if she or her daughter (Tessa's mother) want to see Tessa. Apparently they don't. Whatever, Tessa is awesome and they're missing out. Also awesome: Dallas. She and Tessa are probably the best things about the show.
Episode Grade: B+

Thursday
The Office - Get the Girl
Andy drives down to Florida to get Erin to come back to Scranton with him. He succeeds of course. In Scranton, Nellie has arrived for a job in the branch and, seeing Andy's office has no one sitting in it, decides she'd be a good manager. She gives everyone a raise and somehow convinces Robert California of her talents. Not that she really has any. It was a weird episode.
Episode Grade: B-

Community - Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts
If this episode hadn't been the first after an extended break, it would have been fine. As it was, it definitely didn't live up to our expectations. Granted, it's Community, so it's still hilarious (like Troy and Abed "de-whimsifying" themselves). We really wish we had gotten to see Troy and Abed's 24-hour marathon of weird in the dreamatorium.
Episode grades: A-

The Vampire Diaries - 1912
We can't believe that after all our complaining about Alaric death fake-outs, we found out that all the dying was for a reason. That was leading up to something! Dying too often and being saved by the ring messes with your head. This show is so brilliant. Even the stuff that annoys us turns out to be important. We found out that the person who made Damon a bad guy was a vampire named Sage. We bet she's doing MMA now. Damon and Stefan grow closer, and Elena and Matt share quality time together. Matt is STILL in love with Elena, at least a little bit. Poor thing. Although we enjoyed it, this episode won't get a perfect grade, because we think it's dumb that Meredith shot Alaric for his own good, and Liz acted irrationally. Their actions just didn't make sense.
Episode Grade: B

Grey's Anatomy- One Step Too Far
There is yet another gap for this show, and it's driving us crazy. At least other shows have ONE long gap and maybe two. This one seems to have about five per season. About the episode...well, everyone is on Team Cristina at this point, right? The abortion was debatable in some circles and we could at least half understand her point. But cheating is always wrong and cowardly. We actually still think that these two are endgame, but we don't enjoy adultery storylines, so it's a shame the show took us there. The abortion plot was at least interesting. We were surprised that Owen cheated, but we were glad that it wasn't with Nurse Emily. We love Summer Glau. We love Catherine Avery too, and we feel really bad for Morgan. Alex needs to shut it down before he hurts her or he needs to love her back. Callie is usually right, Alex. We can't BELIEVE Meredith and Lexie took out that tumor without consent. These doctors make so many mistakes in this hospital that we shouldn't be surprised, but they absolutely deserve to be sued for that. That was so bad. Of course, Derek took it all on himself, so we have to watch Saint Puppy-Dog Eyes in a lawsuit storyline. Snore.
Episode grade: B

The Secret Circle - Lucky

Faye told her mother about Cassie’s dad?!! Oh Faye, you’re the worst, even though we love you. John Blackwell is still decidedly Team Jake. It’s doubtful that all the adults would be ok with a school hosting a Casino Night. We loved Grant right away and wanted him with Diana so that she will be happy. He seems too perfect though. He donated 100s to the school, he has an accent, he reads books, he’s confident, and he’s cute. Since it’s this show, he has to be evil or something. It was awesome when Cassie almost killed Ethan for stabbing her father. We love when she gets dark and vengeful. John must really be in Cassie’s corner, since he didn’t let her kill Ethan. This is going to cause more rifts between Adam and Cassie. Both those dads are pretty hot. Dilfs. We don’t want either of them gone. We are pretty happy with this show, but the one thing that could make it better is if it became more of an ensemble drama, like a witchy Grey’s Anatomy. Cassie is not as likeable as some of the others, and the whole circle needs equally screen time. Cassie needs to not be the “main character.” There need to be six main characters.

Episode Grade: A-

The Blogging Break Is Over/Last Week's Shows

We will now be posting daily again, for the most part. We reserve the right to take a day or weekend off if school decides to hate us again. Thanks for hanging in there with us. The numbers in our stats didn't suffer at all, meaning just about everyone reading this blog stuck around. That's awesome, and it makes this worth it. We are addicted to blogging anyway.

Sunday
Once Upon a Time - Dreamy
This was a really cute episode, mainly because one of us has adored Amy Acker since Angel. We got Grumpy's backstory (finally?). Apparently, in the Enchanted Forest, he was named Dreamy first, and he fell in love with Amy Acker's fairy Nova. Their bosses find out about their forbidden love and Grumpy turns into Grumpy. In our world, Leroy (Grumpy) falls for Astrid (Nova) and it seems that their love isn't necessarily forbidden, but frowned upon, since Astrid is a nun. People are still being mean to Mary, but things seem to pick up at the end of the episode when Granny lights Mary's candle.
Episode Grade: B+

GCB - Pilot
There was a blogger split on this show. Ern pretty much hated it, thought it was boring, didn't laugh at all, and wondered why it was a full hour. She liked Kristin Chenoweth's performance though. Leeard was just the opposite. She thought Kristin was a weak spot in a funny, enjoyable pilot. One thing we both agree on is the leading lady, Leslie Bibb. She has charisma and just enough mature cuteness to carry this show if the writing gives her good material. Both of us hope that Kristin's character stays to the side so that Bibb can be the main attraction. Kristin is better on the side. A little of that shrill voice goes a long way. We like the way Kristin was allowed to sing in a believable way (church choir). We also like the main character's funny mother and her daughter's new dye job. It's not disrespectful to Christians or anything. The worst thing it does to this group is associate these prideful, superficial, judgmental people with Christians. But, hey, lots of Christians kind of deserve that...We are amazed that they decided on GCB for the title because people are going to wonder what it is when they see it in their TV guides. Even Good Christian Belles would have been better. The original title's B stood for "Bitches", and that really would have been best. But, alas, people are prudes. The show reminds us a little of Desperate Housewives, only with more cattiness.
Leeard's grade: B, Ern's grade: D+

House of Lies - Veritas
Okay, if you're thinking of going to B-School, watch this episode. It epitomizes recruiting events, in the most depressing way possible. Usually the cutthroat person is another candidate, but it's still accurate.
Episode Grade: A

The Good Wife- Live from Damascus, After the Fall

Live From Damascus- Jonathan Groff was in this episode! He cried the entire time, but he still looked hot and manly. Will absolutely made the right decision to accept the suspension. Diane was crazy. The bar would have absolutely disbarred him because messing with client money is like the number one thing they disbar people for. We really felt for Will though, which is rare. Kathy’s brother on The Big C was a defendant in this episode. The case was powerful, and there was an element of tension when we found out it was possible for the lawyers to save a young woman’s life. This show is so good at being aware of the world at large, other countries, complex legal issues, and the way people think. After the Fall- Mina from Off the Map was the opposing attorney! We miss that show. Dexter Morgan’s older brother was the defendant. Will’s sisters are so different from both himself and each other. They were adorable. However, this episode was quiet and didn’t blow us away like the last couple.

Episode Grades: A- and B

Monday
The Lying Game - Unholy Matrimony
Alec and Rebecca are getting married. Emma and Ethan are over (for now), and Thayer is obviously falling for Emma, which we totally support. They're the only decent people on this show (besides Mads and Laurel, but that's beside the point). Sutton is still the worst person on this planet. Kristin finally got awesome and told off Ted and Rebecca for the affair. Ethan and Sutton find the picture of Alec holding a tire iron over Derek's head on Rebecca's computer while they're snooping during the engagement dinner. They show it to Dan and Theresa, who manage to get a search warrant pretty darn fast. Thayer lets the police into the house so they can search for any evidence that Alec was involved in Derek's death. We are loving Thayer in this episode. While the cops are searching the house, they find a bloody tire iron in Alec's golf clubs (!!!). After the cops take Alec away at the wedding, we see Sutton watching the scene from a room in the club. It turns out to be the bridal suite and HOLY CRAP Rebecca is Sutton/Emma's mother and she and Sutton have been planning this all along! We honestly don't know if this is awesome or terrible, but HOLY CRAP! Also, are Sutton and Emma actually Ted's children? Because that would be pretty cool. And how long have Sutton/Rebecca known about each other? Did Sutton actually find her in LA and we just weren't privy to that scene? ABC Family hasn't picked this up for a second season yet, but come on. There needs to be some closure on this insanity, even if it's just a movie.
Episode Grade: A

Pretty Little Liars - Eye of the Beholder

Jenna got the operation and Toby is back! Oh Toby, we’ve missed your face. And your arms. He’s seriously and suddenly looking really good in this episode. He kind of looks like Joaquin Phoenix. Ern doesn’t care how he looks; she will always be team Wren. Leeard, once again, is team threesome. We like the new hottie, Duncan. He needs to calm his tits though. Most people do. We loved that this episode had Toby and Wren interacting. We’ve never found Ezra sexier than we did in this episode. He finally grew a little shrivel of a sack! Wren reminds us of Ezra, looks-wise, only he’s better looking. We are ok with Wren and Spencer because Wren is not Spencer’s teacher. He may be older, but it’s the authority abuse thing that we don’t like. Also, Spencer can handle it. Mona is turning into the best, which makes us think she might be A. We hope not though. Hanna Marin is a hero, hoo-rah. Seven days until we find out who A is. Holy crap! We loved this episode. It was light on the action at first, but we still loved it, and then the action amped up. This show is so good. We can’t even. A is incredible, and Emily is really the best person. Sidenote: shout out to Conshohocken on the show! Nice!

Episode Grade: A-

Alcatraz - "The Ames Brothers" and "Sonny Burnett"
Well it took 9 episodes, but we finally got a case that was actually interesting. The Ames Brothers episode was okay; Hurley was captured by two brothers who tried to steal gold from Alcatraz in '63. They failed back then, even though they had a wildly elaborate plan, because they took the wrong keys from the warden. When the guard they were working with finally gets into the vault in 2012, there's nothing there. However, the audience sees that there was gold in that vault when the warden opens it and basically makes out with a massive gold bar. Sonny Burnett, however, was pretty good (for this show). The inmate who came back was a kidnapper; in our time, he kidnapped Mr. Pierce, who owns a cosmetics empire with his wife. Apparently, Mr. Pierce's wife Helen was, back in '63, basically Burnett's victim/accomplice. She turned him in and he went to Alcatraz. Then, Helen took the money Burnett had hidden away. He obviously wants revenge, so he kills her husband, kidnaps her daughter and buries her in the field where is money was hidden. Well that's terrifying. Of course they find the daughter in time. The only thing we find out about the overall mythology of the show is that some of the inmates have colloidal silver in their blood, keeping them healthier than they should otherwise be.
Episode Grades: C and B+

Smash - Let's Be Bad
Leo (Julia's son) gets caught hanging out with people smoking pot and Tom and his lawyer friend get him off with a bench warrant. Apparently this is enough to potentially mess up the adoption. Julia and Michael kiss outside her apartment (in view of her son) after he stopped by their home. Whatever, we like them together more than Julia and her husband. Derek scolds Ivy in front of everyone and makes Karen teach Ivy how to sing part of a song properly. It's sufficiently awkward for all parties involved, but Ivy plays it like it's what Marilyn would've done, just to make Karen feel worse about it. Ivy starts to go a little crazy. Honestly, we know we're supposed to be rooting for Karen, and we are (in her personal life), but Megan Hilty just IS Marilyn, so we'll probably be a little bummed when Ivy somehow loses the role. The musical is starting to come into its own, and we're starting to actually get excited about the show within the show (if not Smash itself).
Episode Grade: C+

Tuesday
Switched at Birth - Game On
Ugh this episode was so frustrating! We feel really bad for Bay; she wants to help Emmett's mom, but she doesn't want Emmett to hate her. We can definitely relate. Most of the family goes to Daphne's basketball tournament, where Carlton has to play Buckner in the first round. Carlton beats Buckner, which is unsurprising. However, what is surprising is that Emmett freaking sleeps with Simone after a fight with Bay. We're not going to get into the whole teen/premarital sex thing, because it's a tv show. But sleeping with someone he LITERALLY just met and has even less in common with than Bay? After getting into a (legitimate) fight with his girlfriend? Makes us start to hate Emmett. And we really don't want to hate him, because his face is just so awesome.
Episode Grade: C

Cougar Town - Full Moon Fever
Jules and Andy argue about who is the King of the cul-de-sac (it's obviously Jules). Some kids start riding their bikes through their backyards, and ultimately it falls on Jules and Andy to work together to stop them. It's adorable, as usual. Speaking of adorable, Sarah Chalke guest starred as Travis' photography teacher, who falls for Bobby. We like where this is going. Laurie starts dating a soldier through Twitter, which Ellie mocks her for. Once Ellie reads their tweets though, she realizes that this is actually the healthiest relationship Laurie has been in .... basically forever. Maybe Smith was better.
Episode Grade:

Breaking In - The Contra Club
We're pretty glad this show came back. It was pretty funny, and very weird, last year, so it was a nice surprise that it was un-canceled. However, we're worried about the addition of Megan Mullally to the cast. She's great in guest-starring roles (see: Happy Endings), but we're not loving her character so far. It's been one episode though, we'll give her a shot.
Episode Grade: B

New Girl - Injured
Honestly, Leeard needs to stop reviewing this show. She's so biased it isn't even funny. It's just so adorable. Cece and Schmidt finally bonded on a more emotional level, Winston had to say goodbye to his old, rundown car, and Nick finds out that he might have something seriously wrong with him (medically; we already know there's something seriously wrong with him mentally since he's not with Jess yet).
Episode Grade: A

Jane By Design - The End of the Line
Oh hey, another frustrating episode. Ben tries to make Jane quit, but he ultimately realizes that she loves, and is really good at, her job. Jane accuses India of being the mole, and Gray fires India on the spot. It turns out that Jeremy was the mole (which one of us predicted, because India being the mole was way too easy). After the (successful, of course) fashion show, Jeremy starts to tell Jane about his feelings for her, but leaves to talk to Beau. Billy comes in and tells Jane that he's always been in love with her and we groaned. Yes they've made it pretty obvious from the beginning that he's in love with her, but we were so thankful that it they weren't going there. We miss platonic opposite sex relationships on TV. It happens in real life, people.
Episode Grade: B-

Parenthood - My Brother's Wedding
Yes, yes, we know this one was a while ago, but we totally forgot to stick it in the post, and it's a finale! We can't ignore it. The adoption storyline took a sad but predictable turn, and we guess Julia's reward for all her trouble is that she changed Coffee Girl's life? Meh. Good luck explaining to Sid why she has a new older brother. That's going to be pretty interesting. Amber and Bob, why did you not get together? Crosby's wedding was sweet, but we sort of wish they had sold the Luncheonette. The time they've spent there, fighting, has been alright, but we wanted the show to move on from that a little. The finale was sweet, overall, and we are sad to see such a short season. Hopefully the show comes back because we don't think there was resolution here.
Episode grade: B

Wednesday
Psych - Heeeeere's Lassie
We don't mention this show much, but we just wanted to say that while some shows (*cough*GLEE*cough*) need to cool it on the tribute episodes, Psych does them so, so well.
Episode Grade: A

Thursday
The Office - Last Day in Florida
Jim saves Dwight from being fired. After she tells him that she plans on staying in Florida, Andy decides to go there to get Erin back.
Episode Grade: C

Parks and Recreation - Campaign Shakeup, Lucky
Well, we are caught up on this show just in time for it to leave us. There will be a hiatus since Community is coming back, and that's the only reason we aren't screaming. Campaign Shakeup: You know Tim Allen's character on Last Man Standing? Well, Ron is so much more of a man than that guy. We wish he could cross over to Last Man Standing and show Allen what a shemale he really is. The line about slaughtering calves when he was six was a Swanson Classic. This episode featured Kathryn Hahn as a guest star, and we always like her, even if her short-lived show, Free Agents, sucked this fall. And it did. It's disturbing that Leslie wants to bang Joe Biden. Andy's water balloon Kamikaze was great. Also, there's nothing sweeter than the ever-platonic Ron/April relationship. Lucky: Tom is a lot funnier now that he isn't trying to make that business work. We love when he sings. More Tom singing, we say. So Ron's life was shaped by powerful women, eh? That's why he has to be so manly. We are sick of guys who want weak, stupid women so that they can feel more like men. How about you just man up even more, like Ron? Ron got the girl over Chris, in a stunning twist. She must have been impressed with his steak-eating abilities. The lines in both these episodes were hilarious. Leslie accidentally getting drunk for her interview wasn't as funny as it should have been though. We had another famous guest star, Sean Hayes, as the interviewer, and he was just OK. Will the Tom/Ann breakup stick this time? We're thinking not. We will miss you, show.
Episode grades: B+ and A-

Friday
Degrassi - Can't Tell Me Nothing Part 2
We don't usually cover this show, but Leeard just had to say: if Jenna takes ANOTHER one of Clare's boyfriends, we will riot. Even if Clare isn't currently dating Jake, what is WRONG with Jenna? Find your own guys to like, goodness gracious.
Episode Grade: B

Movies
We saw Wanderlust. Leeard thought it was weird. Maybe it's just Paul Rudd, but she agreed with him 100% of the time. There were about five or six uniquely, awesomely funny parts, but they never lasted very long. This movie had split-second moments of brilliance, but the overall movie wasn't that funny. Grade: C+ We saw Woman in Black to support Daniel Radcliffe because we think he is a hardworking, cool person. We liked the Gothic, old fashioned setting, the goreless scares, the plot, and the cast. Dan did alright! There was nothing new in the movie, and if you hate or are not scared of ghosts, there won't be much here for you. It's a traditional ghost story. There were definitely a few scares, and we were really into it by the time the ending came around. But like many horror movies, the ending disappointed and came out of nowhere. Still, this was one of the best horror movies of recent years.. Grade: B. Chronicle was so much fun. Yeah, the "found footage" stuff is everywhere, but you haven't seen a superhero movie do it yet, have you? There was humor, likable characters, a fast pace, tension, action, and high school drama. The acting was great and the script was clever. All three leads should (and probably will) be stars. This was the most pleasant surprise of our entertainment week. Grade: A-. Rampart was mostly an excuse for Woody Harrelson to prove once again that he can act. This one had a good cast with lots of TV favorites, but it was way too long and dour. It succeeds as a character study and close look at a cop who is more evil than good. The plot was meandering and we just got to swim in this guy's self-inflicted misery for a few hours. It was fun seeing Ben Foster as a gross homeless man though. This was more art/indie than a crowd-pleaser or mainstream entertainer. Whether you like this will come down to personal taste. We just wish there had been a tighter plot. Grade: B-.

Books
We read Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain, and it was excellent. If you dislike quiet or shy people/think they are bad and selfish, if you are an introvert (even if you aren't shy) who always wished to be a little different, if you have or are going to have children, if you are a boss in the workplace, if you want to understand yourself better, or if you are an extrovert who just wants to understand literally half the people around you, you should rush to read this book. Cain's writing is readable, despite its academic nature and nonfiction subject matter. It really shows the upsides of being introverted, explains why they are that way (they are highly sensitive to stimuli), and gives advice to both groups. This book is both necessary and interesting, and we are not surprised it's a best seller. Recommended to anyone interested in the topic. We are both ambiverts (whenever we take a quiz, we get 50% introvert and 50% extrovert.) We love our introvert traits though. Introverts are bad ass, and more people should know it. Grade: A

Old Show Alert
Ern is still watching Veronica Mars but didn't get very far into the second season. It was spring break and we were partying it up. Ern was in Seattle, eating all the good food they have there. MMMM. Anyway, Ern watched two episodes of season two. It's weird to see Veronica hanging out with the 09ers and dating Duncan. We thought she grew out of him. He seems a little slow, quite frankly, but it seems like Logan needs to get a reign on his temper in order to deserve Veronica. The bus crash was a surprise, but it was necessary. This show is still huge on exposition and explaining past events, spaced out in flashbacks. That really annoyed Ern in the pilot, but she has gotten used to it, mostly. Normal is the Watchword: B+. Driver Ed: B.

Is the Hunger Games Out Yet? (No, obviously, because we aren't living behind the movie theater waiting for each showing)

This week was really crazy, so as you can see, we are a few episodes behind on some of our favorite shows. Boo. Also, a lot of shows didn't have a new episode this week. Double boo. We hope to be caught up very soon, but this week is spring break and we always have crazy plans for spring break. We're sure we'll watch something though. 

Monday shows: 
Pretty Little Liars - Father Knows Best
After the last couple of weeks, another run-of-the-mill PLL episode wasn't going to wow us. We felt really bad for Spencer's dad during this episode. Emily's dad is awesome. Aria is donning the red coat when she meets yet another player in this game (new guy Duncan). Thank God it's March. It's time to find out who A is already. It cannot come too soon. Unless the reveal sucks.
Episode Grade: B-

The Lying Game - Weekend of Living Dangerously
EMMA SLAPPED SUTTON! Who cares about what else happened in the episode because EMMA SLAPPED SUTTON! And it was awesome! Also, pretty much nothing else happened in this episode. Well, Sutton and Thayer found out that Rebecca has a picture of Ted in her locket (which they discovered held a picture of the love of her life) and Emma and Ethan almost had sex. Ethan finally confessed the ranch kiss to Emma, and they broke up for good. It was actually a pretty boring episode, but that slap guaranteed it'd be getting nothing less than an A from us.
Episode Grade: A

Hart of Dixie - Tributes & Triangles
Okay, first things first: does this episode title remind anyone else of The Hunger Games? Just us? Well okay then. George won some Man of the Year thing and Lavon hosted party in his honor (which obviously sucked for him). Zoe made a big speech at the party and now basically everyone knows that she's in love with George. Honestly, this was probably the best episode so far. When Zoe told George that she got her father to do his dad's surgery, Leeard teared up. This show is a lot better than it has any right to be.
Episode Grade: A-

Smash - The Cost of Art
While we continue to love Julia and root for Karen, this show just keeps having non-eventful episodes. Nick Jonas guest starred and is now funding the Marilyn workshop. Karen got a much-needed makeover (both with style and attitude). Whatever. A Jonas brother will not save this show and we are surprised that was what they tried. They should go full Broadway, take more risks, and have stuff happen. One of us likes Katherine McPhee, but the other of us wonders if her lack of charisma is what is tanking the show.
Episode Grade: C

How I Met Your Mother - Karma

Barney found out that Quinn is a dancer at his favorite strip club and thinks he's dating her, when really he's paying tipping her a bunch of money. Robin moved out of Ted's apartment and into Lily and Marshall's house (temporarily). Everyone realizes that Long Island sucks and moves the heck back into Manhattan, since Ted was nice enough to give Lily and Marshall his apartment. We're left wondering what the heck Ted and Robin are going to do and frankly only one of us cares anymore.
Episode Grade: C+

Tuesday shows: 

Switched at Birth - Write a Lonely Soldier
Emmett found out that Bay had been emailing Ty while he's been in Afghanistan and he got upset. Daphne helped Travis, a student at Carlton, get a job at John's car wash, but he quickly gets fired when he gets in an argument with an important customer. Daphne goes to his house and realizes how difficult his family situation is, with parents who don't know any sign language and a younger brother who only wants to know the curse signs. It's actually pretty depressing and helps explain his earlier attitude. Travis tells John he'll work on communicating better. Overall, it was a pretty good episode. We just with Emmett would stop being stupid.
Episode Grade: B

Jane By Design - The Getaway

Well, Ben finally found out about Jane's real job. Jane and India went to California for the weekend to look for a new location for a Donovan Decker store. Nick realized that Jane would never choose him over her job and Lulu realized that Billy would never choose her over Jane, so both of those relationships appear to be over. Well, to be fair, Ben overheard India make a comment about how Jane shouldn't hook up that night, which didn't help matters. After coming to those revelations, Nick and Lulu kissed. We're actually pretty bummed that Nick and Jane broke up; they were a cute couple, if not at all realistic.
Episode Grade: B

Cougar Town - Lover's Touch
This show is just so, so good. It's funny, it's touching, and it's gotta hang around for a few more seasons. Jules has been neglecting Grayson to focus on the wedding, and he is bummed he hasn't been getting much affection. Then Travis gets into an accident and Grayson gets neglected even more. While Travis keeps telling Jules not to worry about him, Jules gives a speech that, honestly, Leeard's mom has given before. Jules tells Travis that even though he's almost 20 and in college, she's still his mother and she will continue to worry about him and his safety until the day she dies. It's a very touching scene. We love this show.
Episode Grade: A

Wednesday shows:
Suburgatory - Poetic Injustice
Oh Tessa. That poetry teacher was super weird, not super cool, as was Dalia's poetry. George and Dallas finally seem to be getting closer, so that's pretty exciting. This show never really has much of a plot, but it cracks us up on a regular basis, so we appreciate that.
Episode Grade: B+

Happy Endings - Cocktails & Dreams
This show, guys. We don't have sex dreams about Dave, but we kind of wish we did so we could be a part of that group.
Episode Grade: A-

America's Next Top Model- Kelly Osbourne
At least they didn't kick of the girl with the cutest accent yet. However, so far this season is descending into ANTM's trashy worst. What happened to real photo shoots? Why would you pair some of those famous figures. We have no favorite so far, but this show entertains us and always hooks us on the makeover episode. 
Episode grade: C+


Thursday shows: 
The Office - Test the Store

Andy got beaten up by a little girl while trying to defend Pam. Kelly used to be a bully (which we are not at all surprised by). The Florida group opened the test store to "bloggers" (um why weren't we invited?!) to some pretty positive feedback.
Episode Grade: C+

Movies: We saw Act of Valor, a movie that most everyone wants to see (OK, mostly guys), but critics say is underwhelming. Who is right? Well, the reason we go see that movie is to see bad ass Navy Seal action. Let's face it, this isn't the newest Christopher Nolan movie. If anyone is looking for nuance, grey areas, political correctness, an objective look at the military, or multidimensional characters, they can look elsewhere. We want to see Seals be awesome and that's it. The movie delivers that, and so it is a success for its audience. There is a formulaic plot in which the Seals show us what they do. When the explosions, shooting, chasing, and other fighting are going on, the movie is good and realistic. It's exactly what we are here to see. But then they have to stop and talk to each other. Those scenes range from cheesy to unintentionally hilarious. The acting is some of the worst we've ever seen, but the guys are real Seals, not actors. The script and dialogue are unworthy of these heroes, and we wish other people had been involved making it. The end message and action are good; the overall movie is unfortunate. If you like good movies, don't go see this one. If you like action, America, and Navy Seals, do. We like all of the above, so we're giving this a mixed grade of B-. Ern re-watched Warrior to make her dad and brother see it. They liked it. 

Books: We read Fever by Lauren DeStefano, the sequel to Wither. For a book where the bulk of it was spent wandering around, getting sidelined, and trying to look for Rhine's brother, it was pretty entertaining. It didn't move the plot along much and ended with a frustrating cliffhanger, but the end was truly creepy. This book is darker than the first, which was good, but we had to spend most of the sequel waiting for the exciting characters and moments. That is why the first book was better, but the second book sure wasn't bad. There was a lot of suspense built up to when and if we would see anyone from the mansion again. We await the conclusion eagerly. Grade: B


OLD SHOW ALERT: Ern finished season one of Veronica Mars. A lot of it feels like Wonderfalls in tone, especially when they brought in the Russian bride thing. That's not a bad thing. Ern can't decide if she's a Logan fan or not, but it's pretty clear at this point that he's endgame. It was cool how he stood up for her in front of his friends. It's going to be weird going into season two to have Veronica back in people's good graces, but with writing like this, Ern is pretty sure it's still going to be good. Clash of the Triton: A+, Lord of the Bling: B, Mars v. Mars: B+, Ruskie Business: B-, Betty and Veronica: A-, Kanes and Abels: B, Weapons of Class Destruction: A, Hot Dogs: A-, M.A.D.: B+, A Trip to the Dentist: A+, Leave It to Beaver: A+

The Oscars were boring, but TV was not.

Sunday shows:
Shameless - A Bottle of Jean Nate
We liked the stuff with Kevin and V mourning the loss of Ethel. We were horrified at Jody's sexual habits. When is "Kiss from a Rose" going to catch a break? That's a pretty song. Jasmine is a sketchball, but Fiona sort of did owe her a place to stay. 
Episode grade: B

Once Upon a Time - What Happened to Frederick
The stranger has a name, and it's August. We still miss Graham, but August is growing on us. In fact, his scenes with Emma might have been the highlight of this episode. We also really loved that Abigail/Kathryn has her own love. The evil queen's curse actually did something for Kathryn's happiness! It stopped her from leaving Storybrooke and going to law school. 
Episode grade: B

House of Lies - Bareback Town
We already knew that Marty has no morals, but this episode finally proved it. He threw one of the client's employees (someone he's known for years) under the bus just to keep the client. This will not go over well, since she has a new job with the competitor. We really enjoyed this episode because, though he has proven and will continue to prove that he has no scruples when it comes to his job, he's actually starting to care for the stripper we met in the pilot. He's just such a confusing man. His ex-wife is absolutely insane (or, well, more insane than we already knew) if she thinks that she could get full custody of Roscoe. Not only are you certifiably crazy, you're on the road as much as Marty is, and Roscoe's grandfather takes care of him when Marty isn't around. She probably has some psycho tricks up her sleeve though, not that she's usually wearing shirts when we see her onscreen.
Episode Grade: B+

Monday shows:
Pretty Little Liars - Breaking the Code
We have another couple we like: Wren and Spencer. How adorable are they? He brings out her sexy, drunk, even crazier side. Mona just made a bid to become one of our favorite characters. You can't threaten someone who isn't afraid of the truth. What a freaking bad ass. Mona is a great friend. This episode might have even ended with Maya's death. The show did spoil that there would be a death. We almost got rid of Ezra, who keeps chickening out. Aria has to always put the pieces back together and find a way for them to date. Now Ella is helping them work it out? Ugh. But we still think Ella is the best parent on this show of pretty awesome parents. This episode had some great emotion and is starting to address all the Melissa theorists. That probably means it isn't Melissa, unless they want to reveal A's identity before the finale. Doubt it. 
Episode grade: A

The Lying Game - Not Guilty as Charged
Wow how much does Sutton suck? While there are quite a few times that we enjoy her as a character, most of the time we just wish the tv series had started in the same way as the book series - with Sutton's death. Anyway, Ethan's case was dropped due to insufficient evidence, so that's definitely the last we'll be hearing about that case, right? Ha! Sutton pretended to be Emma and told Ethan that she (Emma) had slept with Thayer when Ethan and Sutton were hiding out on the ranch after Ethan told her (Sutton pretending to be Emma) that he had made out with Sutton but that she doesn't mean anything to him. Ouch, but seriously Sutton - you're the worst. You totally deserved that. Sutton then told Emma that she (Sutton) and Ethan slept together on the ranch. We hate you so, so much Sutton. Mads finally called Sutton out on being basically the world's worst friend, and while that might make a normal person change her ways, this is Sutton we're talking about. Also, Laurel and Baz are heading in the right direction, which we're pretty excited about. Justin is a horrible boyfriend and person, and Laurel deserves so much better, because she's pretty awesome.
Episode Grade: B

Hart of Dixie - Snowflakes & Soulmates
Lemon and George tried to elope, but obviously that wasn't going to happen. Lavon got his parents back together and broke up with Didi, because he's obviously still in love with Lemon. Zoe tried to send some macaroons to her dad in Germany, but found out that he moved back to New York and hasn't tried to contact her. Ouch. She and Brick had a little heart-to-heart about that while Zoe drove him to South Carolina (for Lemon and George's elopement which, again, was never actually going to happen). All in all, a pretty decent episode for this show that one of us likes more than is rational.
Episode Grade: B

Smash - Enter Mr. DiMaggio
Ugh. We almost got a male character involved in the show who was straight and not a douche. But it turns out he slept with a married woman and is being awfully friendly to her now that they are reunited. Julia cheated on her caveman! We like the new character though, and we like how that assistant is turning into a full-on villain. The songs were ok, although we don't know that "Redneck Woman" needed to be covered by this show. At least the rock version of "Grenade" made sense in the plot. 
Episode grade: B

The Voice - Blind Auditions Part 4
The only notable voices in this episode, in our opinion, were Jamie Lono (who sang "Folsom Prison Blues") and Charlotte Sometimes (who sang "Apologize"). Jamie really brought something to "Folsom Prison Blues", and honestly, and version of a Johnny Cash song that doesn't immediately make us go "ugh please stop" is really, really good, because we love Johnny Cash. We're glad he's on Team CeeLo. Charlotte Sometimes a) cannot be her real name and b) reminded us of Xenia a little too, so we're glad she's on Team Blake.
Episode Grade: B

How I Met Your Mother - No Pressure

Shockingly, despite lack of early-season hilarity, we liked this one. Maybe it was the hopeful, smart ending. Maybe it was the inclusion of Florence and the Machine's "Shake It Out." Maybe it was how much we were reminded that Marshall and Ted are such great friends. But, overall, this episode did not leave us annoyed and angry, like the last couple. We wish Marshall had paid up at the end though, since we know Robin isn't the mother.

Episode grade: B

Being Human - "Addicted to Love" and "Mama Said There'd Be Decades Like This"

Sally is a rapist who drove a woman crazy now, and Josh is concerned. We're not gonna lie, we thought it was awesome when Josh went to town on Nora's Chris Brown. But it was even more awesome when Nora and the siblings killed him. That storyline was part of the wolves' downward spiral, but this particular step in the downfall wasn't entirely unwelcome. This season, we are liking Nora and Josh more as a couple. We got to see why Mother punished Suren in the first place, meaning that we got a few more shots of Aidan's hideous little mustache. We loved the twist that Henry, Aidan's traitorous underling, was alive. We weren't digging the ghost/imaginary Bishop. Also, we were shocked when Josh traded the purebred siblings for Nora/his freedom. That's pretty rude, but we don't blame him.
Episode grades: B and B

Tuesday shows:
Glee - On My Way
NOOOOOOO Quinn! Maybe you aren't as sad as we are about Q, but we've always liked her. Even when she acted psycho, she at least had a reason to be a jerk, unlike when Mercedes started acting douche-y this season. Quinn's recent good advice, good decisions, and that moment where she advised both Rachel and Mercedes when they went through their "looks insecurity" phase makes her someone we root for. We can't believe we have to wait until April to find out if Quinn is OK, although we are guessing she ___, because of these set photos. Glee did manage to send an important message about texting while driving, we guess. Glee made us cry this week. Literally. And over KAROFSKY, so, bravo show. We know we have a lot of teen readers and that those years can be hard. (Not that suicide is just for teens) If you ever feel hopeless and hate yourself enough to consider suicide, please call a hotline and/or keep fighting. It really will pass and you don't want to give whatever is trying to tear you down a victory. Getting help and sticking around shows that, while you have your problems and life sucks right now, you're a bad ass and won't go down, ever. In "what the hell?" news, Sue is pregnant and the Finchel wedding was moved to right after Regionals (although Quinn's crash might stop it). Also, New Directions won at Regionals. The third place show choir might have been the funniest thing about this episode. We were disappointed in the Kelly Clarkson song, because the voices just didn't have the same oomph as Kelly's. It was a misfire. Also, Rachel's solo didn't fit her voice at all (the original version of the song is fun though). We feel cheated, but not by the cliffhanger and hour-long anti-suicide PSA. Lots of people thought that stuff was sensational and cheap, but we thought it was nice, shocking, and that it fit the show. They hadn't really ever addressed that topic and honestly, given the characters they have, we're surprised it took them this long.
Episode grade: A

Switched at Birth - The Art of Painting
Regina had her art show and Bay was jealous, but got over it (basically). Emmet is still doing speech therapy, and told Bay he wants to drop out of school because he thinks getting a GED is the same as a high school diploma and he doesn't need any more than that to be a photographer. Bay told Emmet's mom, and she forced Emmet to go back to school. Bay, you did the right thing. Don't let Emmet make you think differently. Also, Daphne found out that the Carlton women's basketball team is going to be cut, so she leaves Buckner to go back to her old school. We're glad, since it didn't really make sense that she could leave in the first place. Side note: we really don't mention this show enough. We're working on rectifying that.
Episode Grade: B

Jane By Design - The Wedding Gown
Donovan Decker designed a wedding dress for "American royalty" that the soon-to-be princess didn't love, so Jeremy, India, Carter, and Jane had to stay late to make a new dress for her. Of course, infallible Jane designs a gorgeous gown, that India takes credit for. While we like that India tried to give Jane credit while showing the dress to Jeremy, we wish she would've just owned up to it when Jane told Jeremy that it was her design. We get it, India sucks and Jane is awesome. Anyway, of course the future princess loves Jane's design (which was based on Jane's mother's gown), but the redesign process caused Jane to miss a date with Billy and Nick. Luckily, it gives the boys time to bond and they become friendly. Honestly, this show isn't great, but Erica Dasher (who plays Jane) is just so, so likeable.
Episode Grade: B

Wednesday shows:
Suburgatory - Fire with Fire
Other than Happy Endings and Cougar Town, this is probably the funniest show that no one is watching. We haven't really looked into the ratings, but no one we know watches Suburgatory. Dallas filed for divorce and is feeling and looking better than ever. This inspires Noah's wife to leave him. He wins her back by pretty much every romantic gesture we can think of. Dalia is still upset at Tessa for "stealing" Scott Strauss so she steals Lisa as a friend. Tessa fights back and steals Kamantha as a friend, and Lisa comes back when she sees Kamantha and Malik doing the Dougie at a school dance. Re-reading this paragraph makes us wonder how this show is actually as funny as it is, because nothing in the recap really stands out. Trust us though, it's laugh out loud funny.
Episode Grade: B+

Thursday shows:
Secret Circle
There was no new episode this week, but we have a question: Why did no one point out to us that Daddy is SULLY from Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman? Yeah, we should have noticed ourselves, but he was covered in beard, had short hair, and has aged a bit. Still. That's important information.

The Office - After Hours
Ryan tries to hit on Erin, but either realizes he's "in love with Kelly" when Erin says something about waiting six months to do it or realizes he doesn't want to wait six months for Erin when he has a sure thing waiting in Scranton. Nellie tries to sleep with Dwight. Kathy tries to sleep with Jim. Dwight preventing hookups might just be the best thing this show has done in a while. Sidenote: Poor Darryl.
Episode Grade: B

Parks and Recreation - Sweet Sixteen
The Ron/Leslie relationship is so darling. Ann and Ron are STILL happening, despite April's best efforts (go April!). It looks like Chris is depressed about that. Jerry's birthday surprise was hilarious when only Ben popped up. We love this show. 
Episode grade: A-

Grey's Anatomy - If Only You Were Lonely
Cristina thinks Owen is cheating and Meredith's VO left us unsure. Either Cristina is crazy, or one of our favorite geek goddesses (Summer Glau) is banging Cristina's husband. If Owen cheats, we will be firmly on team Cristina, forever, rather than our current team, which is "Team Both of You Are Wrong But For Good Reasons." You all know we don't care about the Chief and Adele, but this episode made even us feel bad for them. The stuff with Zola's hair was dumb. Bailey just should have told Derek right away. We loved the peds case. The shrapnel in the guy's chest was disgusting. Overall, this was emotional, funny Grey's at its best. 
Episode grade: A

Movies: We watched Courageous, which is definitely a Christian movie. Why is Christian stuff is so bad usually, in modern times? Religious music, like Handel's Messiah, used to be the most beautiful stuff around. There is some good Christian music, but most of it sounds lame. Christian-themed books, like Dostoevsky's stuff, Dante's Inferno, or Lord of the Rings used to be deep and subtle. Courageous was one of the better Christian films we've seen, and it still wasn't very good. Its worst crime was hammering moral points home in such an overt way that it insulted its audience. The audience should be able to apply ideas to life themselves and pick out the themes, not have it spelled out for them. Most of the acting was bad. The plot was all over the place. The movie was hard to get through, and the heavy-handed dialogue proves that just because something is labeled "Christian" doesn't make it good, unless the message of movies are all that matter to you and you are a Christian. We feel cheated, because the opening scene was cool.  Grade: D 

Books: We read Moon Called by Patricia Briggs, which is the first in a series. The reason we read it was because we saw a reviewer call it "everything the Anita Blake books should be." Now, the Anita Blake books are entertaining reads with a LOT of problems (not the least of which being the main character turning into a super slut and the books having no plots halfway through the series), so a series that fixed those problems appealed to us. The main character of Moon Called, Mercy, can turn into a coyote because of some Native American blood. We were not enthused about this because that's not a very cool power. However, Mercy is a cool girl, even if it took her half a book to grow on us. She's less of a Mary Sue than Anita. Her neighbors are a pack of werewolves, a couple of witches, and a few vampires. We didn't see a lot of the vampires, but what we saw was good and creepy. The book started off entertaining, then it slowed to a crawl just before halfway through. Fortunately, it picked up and got entertaining again in the second half. We started to like the secondary characters and could see them being set up like pieces on what should be an entertaining chess board in subsequent books. There's a nice love triangle shaping up. We're team Adam so far. We're not obsessed with this series yet, but we will read another book. 
Grade: B

OLD SHOW ALERT:
Ern is watching Veronica Mars for the first time. She's 11 episodes in, and it's everything everyone says it is. It has a quick wit and snappy dialogue, Kristen Bell will win you over in at least the first couple of episodes, and you will actually care about the overarching plotlines. Bell plays the titular character, a high school girl who works for her PI dad. The show is so good that Ern doesn't even care when Veronica blatantly breaks laws that even PIs have to follow, as if she can't get in trouble. She's just that cool. This is one of those shows like Firefly and Arrested Development that no one watched (even though it got 3 seasons), but everyone should regret their decision that now that the DVDs are out to binge upon. We hear quality drops in season three, but we will tell you if it's worth watching in that final season. This show is smart, funny, and there is drama to spare. Don't you want to see what The O.C. would be like if it were a Twin Peaks-esque mystery instead of a soap opera? There's a gangster kid named WEEVIL. Weevil love you long time. There are a lot of great guest stars (except for Paris Hilton), including future Oscar nominee Jessica Chastain, Aaron Paul, Schmidt on New Girl (whom Leeard calls "Deputy Leo from Veronica Mars" when she watches New Girl), and Josh on Being Human. We recognize someone new every episode. This is one of Leeard's all-time favorite shows, with good reason. Ern is happy Leeard is making her watch it. Leeard is gloating, since she's been trying FOREVER to get Ern to watch it, and is finally vindicated.
Pilot grade: A-, Credit Where Credit's Due: A, Meet John Smith: B+, The Wrath of Con: A-, You Think You Know Somebody: B+, Return of the Kane: B, The Girl Next Door: B-, Like a Virgin: B+, Drinking the Kool-Aid: B+, An Echolls Family Christmas: A, and Silence of the Lamb: A-

Music:
Ern hates most country music, but has come around to Miranda Lambert due to Miranda's attitude about Chris Brown. Leeard notes, "Duh, Miranda Lambert music is good." Miranda is as not-ok with Brown's comeback as Ern is and said, "Where I come from, it's never OK to hit a woman...that's why my daddy taught me to use a shotgun early on." Amen. While Leeard still enjoys Brown's music, Ern thinks he forfeited the right to be famous and have his art heard when he hit a woman, even if Rihanna forgives him. Miranda held up a sign that said "take notes Chris Brown" during a performance of her song "Gunpowder and Lead." It's about a woman shooting an abusive husband. "I'm gonna show him what little girls are made of/gunpowder and lead." It's a good song, even to the ears of a country hater. Also, Ern has finally gotten the Mumford and Sons CD and it's good, especially the lyrics. Due to the Glee episode, we bought Young and the Giant's CD too. Also good.

Pretty Little Liars - It's Alive Review (plus a few sentences about other summer shows)

Ok, thank God Pretty Little Liars is back. We’ve been sampling summer fare for weeks, and none of it has really started our engines. We watched Teen Wolf, and it isn’t bad, but the lead actor is, and that’s very distracting. We watched The Nine Lives of Chloe King, and the first episode was pretty good, and we hear that it gets better in the second episode. Still, it's no Vampire Diaries. We’ve been watching Switched at Birth, and while the deaf thing is interesting, the show is not what we would call “quality.”One of us is really enjoying it though.

We’ve been watching The Bachelorette, and it’s stupid, but fun. We have no desire to watch Happily Divorced, even though one of us loved The Nanny. Game of Thrones and The United States of Tara are almost over. The Glee Project is weird so far and we are having trouble getting invested. We’ve been watching So You Think You Can Dance, and it’s amazing, as usual. We need to start writing about that....

But we really need a good drama again, and Pretty Little Liars fits the bill. We loved how it just picked up right where it left off, letting us see the full aftermath of the finale, rather than having the characters verbally recap it. Jenna is still the creepiest mofo ever.

In this episode, the girls toyed with the idea of actually telling an adult, their new shrink, about A. Emily was the biggest proponent of just letting all the secrets out and facing the consequences. She even just suggested telling their parents and the cops. This would be a good idea, but it would ruin the drama of the show, and it would get Ezra Fitz in a whole load of trouble (which might actually be worth ruining the drama for one of us). We loved that it was Emily who thought they should be honest, because it makes sense with all that she has been through.

We are not digging Toby’s haircut, but we have missed him. Ditto to Noel Kahn, who Ern thinks is hotter than Ezra. Leeard disagrees and thinks Ezra is hotter than ever. Ern thinks he’s scrawny, fish-faced, and he has creepy old man hair. And he’s a gaywad. Nice abs though. We need Noel with Aria immediately, because her character needs to be saved. She spent most of the premiere whining to Ezra about Jackie. And yet, we have missed the wackiness of Aria’s clothes.

We roll our eyes at the “Emily is going to Texas” storyline. We bet she is going to get all packed, goodbyes will be said, and then it’s going to fall through. “A” needs his/her victims right in town. And we were reminded at how all-powerful “A” is in this episode. “A” infiltrated the shrink’s office, which is what stopped the girls from blabbing. Leeard thinks the shrink will be the next murder victim. Ern hopes not, because she would enjoy watching the liars go through individual grief counseling. But this isn’t In Treatment…

Caleb is back for Hanna, and he got to say his “I love you.” We understand why Hanna didn’t forgive him right away, but we were still sad. We liked that she got to confront Mona about the letter, because that didn’t need to be dragged out. We were loving the re-ignition of the Emily/Toby friendship. So sweet.

One thing we thought was weird? They showed Spencer’s naked back while she was changing. First of all, it’s ABC Family. That’s a little too much skin for a family channel. Second, it didn’t add to the episode or the story. Third, who was it FOR? This is a teen girl’s show. Is it just to remind the teen girls that their backs have too much meat on them? (Spencer is tiny.) Is it to fool people into thinking that they are watching a mature show rather than quality teen stuff? We’re confused. Teen lesbians probably rejoiced though.

So, it looks like Ian is alive (not a surprise), and that’s awesome. Melissa asked Spencer for her side of the story about the whole Ian episode in the finale, and seemed genuinely open to hearing the truth. There’s not a lot of sisterhood on this show, and we kind of think it would be nice to see these girls as friends rather than enemies. They are both smart women, and they are family. We’re getting sick of the rivalry. The girls aren’t allowed to hang out for a while and Spencer is not allowed to date Toby. Like either of those things are going to stick.

There weren’t too many “wow” moments or great scenes in this episode, but we are so glad it’s back that we are giving it an A.

Episode grade: A

ABC Family update - Switched at Birth pilot and Secret Life season finale

Switched at Birth Pilot Review

One of us will watch just about anything that ABC Family airs, including Secret Life, and isn’t ashamed of it. Okay, she’s slightly ashamed, but she’s trying to get over it. Therefore, she obviously watched the pilot of Switched at Birth. If this is literally the first you’re hearing about the show, the title tells you just about everything about the show: the two main characters, Bay and Daphne, were switched at birth. Bay grew up privileged with two loving parents and a brother, while Daphne was raised by a single mom and grandmother. Not exactly groundbreaking stuff there. One of the more interesting and unique things about this show is the fact that Daphne is deaf. One of the bloggers is very interested in deaf culture, and is pretty excited to see it on television, even if it is watered down. And speaking of the deaf culture, we thought it was very interesting how Daphne became deaf from a meningitis infection when she was four. We hope that this causes conflict in later episodes, because we would probably enjoy the discussion; if Bay and Daphne hadn’t been switched, would Daphne still have become deaf? Would Bay have instead? We really hope that wasn’t just a one-time thought for the show.

However, we really didn’t like how fast the first four minutes of the episode were, covering eight weeks in their lives. We would’ve appreciated getting to know the girls and their families before finding out that Bay and Daphne were given to the wrong parents. As it was, we didn’t care for the sloppy introduction. We also wish the show had shown us how different Bay and her mom are, instead of having Bay repeatedly tell the audience.

We didn’t love the episode, but after hearing bad things about the pilot from a lot of other sources, we were pleasantly surprised. We do expect more from ABC Family now, however. In terms of quality, we want this show to be more like Pretty Little Liars, and right now, it’s leaning more towards Secret Life.

Episode Grade: C

Secret Life Season Finale

Speaking of which: oh Secret Life. How one (AND ONLY ONE) of us loves you so. Y’all, this episode was insane. We predicted it from the previews, but Adrian’s baby died. We would like to say first that having a baby die like that is horrible and we literally can’t imagine the kind of pain that Adrian, Ben, and their families must be going through, not to mention the pain felt by the people who actually go through that in real life. No one deserves that kind of hurt. That being said, the actor who plays Ben is a horrible fake crier. It needed to be mentioned. Also, this might sound horrible, but we’re kind of excited about what this development will mean for Adrian and Ben. They got married and moved in together because they were going to become parents. How are they going to deal with it now that they aren’t? Will they stay together or separate? Obviously, our money is on them separating, but probably not getting divorced; that wouldn’t fit with Secret Life’s image.

Episode Grade: B+

What were your thoughts on the Switched at Birth pilot and Secret Life season finale?