Weeds Series Finale- It's Time

Gage Skidmore [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Of course, the series ends with the original version of Little Boxes. We’re glad. Whoa! There’s been a major time jump. Nancy is a rich owner of several stores. She married the rabbi, but he died. She has new hair, and we kind of like it. It’s not her best hair, but it’s a fun summer thing. Stevie is in middle school (even though he looks 18), he’s just as contrary as Silas, and he’s into soccer. Zombies worship Uncle Doug/he’s a guru. Silas has a horrible goatee that completely freaking ruins him, but he’s married to Megan and they have a baby girl. They are visiting Nancy for Stevie’s Bar Mitzvah, and Megan resents Nancy for how Silas spent his youth. Also, marijuana cigarettes are now legal.

Tim works for Nancy. We love that so much. Very funny, show. Nancy sure isn’t a grudge holder, for all her faults. The only thing worse than Silas’s goatee is Shane’s mustache. He’s still hanging around with Mitch the cop, and Mitch seems like even more of a scumbag than he was last time we saw him. Shane’s an addict. Andy doesn’t talk to Nancy, but Nancy really wants to talk to him. Stevie wants to attend boarding school. Smart kid. Jill is living in India, so she’s GONE, thank God. Conrad is married, and his wife is pregnant with twins. We got to see a few more characters from the past attending the Bar Mitzvah. Nancy’s red dress was cute and age appropriate. Loved it.

Guillermo tells adorable Stevie that his dad was a gangster. We loved when Nancy took Shane back from Mitch. Doug kidnaps his son, Josh, twice in order to make up with him. Whatever. How many episodes was Josh in previously? One? Two? Did we REALLY need something sweet to happen to Doug? We don’t remember Josh very well, and we don’t care, even if it is Justin Chatwin. His dog is cute. Nancy takes Josh in and offers him some ostrich kabobs. We love Rich Nancy. Silas tells Nancy that Andy has a three-year-old daughter with a truly awful last name. His mother is Annika, a waitress Andy slept with. They are still friends. We love the name Annika. Andy shows up the next morning. He is friendly, happy, and making breakfast. He’s talking to Nancy, but not really looking directly at her.

Stevie seems pretty cool. We liked his speech at the temple. He’s honest. Nancy brings the fashion again with the great black dress. We liked how she handles Stevie and Shane, and how Stevie went through with the rest of the party. Man, that was a nicer Bar Mitzvah than most weddings. It seems like Nancy actually has a good relationship with her sons. Nancy’s finale dress was too slutty. Still cute though, and she has the body for it. We liked that Nancy loves Andy more than all her money and new power. It’s a good thing Mary Louise can show emotion so well through her voice, because that botox has frozen her face so much that it was distracting us during her sad scene with Andy. We like that he knows Nancy is bad for him and stuck with his guns.

This season wasn’t as bad as the last one. The show didn’t embarrass itself going out. It wasn’t good, but it was respectable, and we’re glad it’s over. The finale hit mostly wrong notes. It was a heartfelt, happy ending where Nancy ended up with everything. It’s not like we were emotionally invested in these messed-up characters by this point. The great thing about Weeds in the past was that it was funny. The finale should have had more humor, less 7^th Heaven reconciliation. It’s unrealistic that after everything that went down, everyone turned out so well. Yeah, Nancy was left alone, but she doesn’t deserve to have her family with her at all. This is as perfect as it could get for her. Also, the finale was a little dull and long. It was missing Celia Hodes. We will also be forever disappointed that Esteban was really dead.

If you want to start watching this show, we suggest you end at season three, unless you really love it and want to see what happens.

Season grade: B-

Finale grade: C

Weeds- God Willing and the Creek Don’t Rise

Eight years later, Andy and Nancy have sex. Wow. That was so depressing and yet so right. We’ve been waiting a long time for Andy to realize that Nancy is not good for his life. But what a way to end that relationship. Will it stay ended? There is an hour of Weeds left. She could get him back. We feel like she shouldn’t. 

The episode also took us back to Agrestic, which has been rebuilt. That was a good thing. Agrestic was always a good place for this show and it’s no different years later.

We saw some old faces, but the best of the bunch was Megan, Silas’s deaf ex. He told her about poking holes in the condoms and confessed that he still loves her. In fact, he’s never really loved anyone else. Megan took him back. They are together now and Megan is following him. Even though this seems out of nowhere, we love it and think Silas in love is a perfect way to end his story arc. We always liked the Megan character.

The Doug stuff was a waste of time, as usual, and the Shane stuff was just okay. Nancy getting Conrad and Guillermo onboard was too easy, and she wasn’t nearly as judged by her old friends or questioned for her absence as she should have been. Things went too smoothly for her there and probably deserved more than one episode to make the dealings believable. Still, this was the best episode of the season so far. It really feels like Weeds is coming to an end, rather than just meandering.

Episode grade: B+

Weeds- Threshold

Andy’s new bride is, predictably, less cool now that she is married. She had Andy meet her roommates and updated her Facebook relationship status before sleeping with him?!! What?! That’s just wrong. She’s only 22, doesn’t want to have kids for “a bajillion years,” and sees a lot of her dad in Andy. Nancy, meanwhile, is lying on top of her Rabbi. They look good together. Nancy sure loves her Jewish guys.

This episode had a boring middle. We didn’t really care about what was happening with Shane and Angela. Doug rhymes with UGH for a reason. The Nancy/Silas business stuff is building to something more than entertaining us presently. We loved the way Nancy handled finding out that the Rabbi’s wife had only been dead for 15 months. We also loved her honesty. We’ve always wanted Andy to get Nancy, but since that’s so on-the-nose, we wouldn’t mind Nancy ending up with the Rabbi. We feel like they aren’t done yet. It’s all over in two weeks!

Episode grade: C+

Weeds- Saplings

Nancy and Silas visit the south at the invitation of a man with Big Tobacco who wants to get things ready for the moment weed becomes legal. We never thought about that. It makes sense that when pot is legalized, Big Tobacco will sweep in and take it over. They are in the best position to do so. This season has partly been about the future of weed. Keep in mind the pharmaceutical usage and how it was turned into a pill. It’s crazy that the old man and his son haven’t spoken in two years, even though they live in the same house. Nancy should really let Silas do what he wants, but she should express her reservations. That’s all you can do when your kids are grown. The Silas/Nancy plotline was sad and less fun than the other stuff in the episode.

 There wasn’t a whole lot of Shane in the beginning of the episode, then he shows up in just the stupidest car to pick up Angela. Things go very wrong when some friends of the crook whose car was impounded steal that car from Shane, along with Angela’s gun, while Shane and Angela park to have sex. Everything in this season has gone well for the Botwins. There’s been some soapy Andy drama, and Nancy’s recovery hasn’t been perfect, but other than that, there haven’t been any moments where we have been like, “Oh no, what now?” So when Shane’s ride was stolen, we caught a whiff of the old Weeds. In seasons past, there was tension. Lately, it’s been all peaceful and nice. Doug actually has to take care of real homeless people. HA!

Andy has been dumped by Jill, and he has lunch with Rabbi Dave and one of their snarky students who hates his new stepdad. Dave feels bad for sleeping with Nancy and rumors of their tryst are circulating. But when he sees Nancy again, he starts kissing her. Yay! Andy meets Joanna with the Frankenfingers at the restaurant. Yeah, we really wouldn’t pull out the fact that we’d had two fingers reattached right away. Of course, with Andy it worked, especially since she shares his love of bikes. She’s Jewish and, at first glance, perfect for him. So Andy marries her immediately. This just confirms Miranda Hobbes’s theory about guys and romance. “The one” isn’t fate; it’s just dumb luck. Guys are like cabs. When they want to get married, their light goes on, and the next girl he dates…BOOM…she’s the one. Andy wants kids and a family. Boom, Joanna’s the one.

Episode grade: B

Weeds Season 8, episodes 3- 8

pic By watchwithkristin (revised version of flickr.com) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons.

This season started out really slow, but it picked up in the third episode. At this point, just about no one is watching Weeds because they enjoy watching Weeds. We all want to see what happens, who dies, and how it all ends. That means all that matters in this season is how they end it, and that ending had better shock or satisfy its audience, otherwise it will have wasted years watching Weeds. At this point, the only ending that will really satisfy US is if Silas crawls through the TV and has sex with us. One at a time, of course. Leeard and Ern are just friends. Like everyone else, we loved seasons 1-3, and then season four sucked a little. We actually liked season 5, which had all the Estaban marriage drama. Season 6 had good moments. The roadtrip thing really worked and ending with Nancy going to jail was brilliant. Season 7 was kind of a dull mess. Season 8 is better.

See Blue and Smell Cheese and Die

Shane knows who the killer is! Yay. We love that Nancy is out of the hospital, but we don’t love that the sister is a) still alive and b) still with Andy. Doug is still on the show too. Does anyone like him? ANYONE? Bueller? Bueller? Nice human centipede reference though. Kids doing roller derby is cute, but a great idea to get broken limbs. Egg! We mean Ann! We love Mae Whitman from Parenthood too. She gets prettier every time we see her too. We like Jill’s daughters with the dreds. “When we lose, we burn your shoes.” It was great how Nancy confronted Tim in the sandwich shop while his boss was telling him how to make a sandwich. Tim has such skinny little arms. Nancy’s botox is out of control. It’s sweet that Nancy wanted to help Tim. We guess her new Gandhi streak will be here for a while. We loved that Shane arrested him even more. Next plotline, please!

Episode grade: B-

Only Judy Can Judge

We were going to completely ignore Doug’s existence and plotlines. As far as this blog would have been concerned, he died a horrible death. But the poop war was funny, and we like that Doug sleep poops. As long as Weeds continues to mock him and use him in this way, Doug can stay. Oh, hey, Nancy’s naked butt, we haven’t seen you in a while! Skinny dipping in someone else’s pool. That’s going on the bucket list. We thought Shane was a sociopath, not a guy who could like being a cop and have a pretty nice girlfriend. Huh. What kind of girl tells a guy’s mother that the guy is “like Christian Grey without the money”? Nobody wants to know that about their kid. Bleck. “I can do mouth to mouth with my dick.” That was funny. We like those guys with the glasses. Those psycho dealer guys. They amuse us. In real life though, we’d have to have them killed. They look like Evil Dietrich Bonheoffers. We like Nancy’s brain farts. It’s cool that the show is giving us some consequences of the shooting. Jill is a bitch. We want to meet the neighbor who let Stevie and Nancy swim in his pool. Also, this episode gets points for dropping the Tim plotline and moving forward with other things.

Episode grade: B

Red in Tooth and Claw

We like affirmative action Nancy style. We hardly even thought about Stevie being half Mexican, but we guess the douchebags on this show would notice right away. Andy’s theory on why he gets so much tail sounds legit. That roller derby girl was gorgeous. Like, “If I could look like one girl, it would be her” gorgeous, but in an edgy way. The soccer was adorable. We’re glad to see the Evil Dietrich Bonheoffers are still on the show. What is with Kiku? We don’t get her. Is that even her name? Just when Jill kicked Andy to the curb, she takes him back. But she has sex with Doug to get revenge on Andy for roller slut. Good, Jill and Doug deserve each other. We are loving Shane with his girlfriend. We also like Nancy’s bathing suit. Yesssss, Nancy’s pool-owning neighbor is the hot rabbi from the hospital who talked to Andy. Good, this show needs some depth. He saved that premiere. We thought he was all gone! We can’t believe Nancy threw out the weed. Is Weeds going to end in the opposite way of Breaking Bad’s inevitable ending? Is Nancy Botwin really redeemable? We were as surprised as Silas that his new friend betrayed him.

Episode grade: B

Allosaurus Crush Castle

Nancy looks great in a suit. Jill is pregnant with Andy’s baby. Oh, wow, we hate that a lot. We wish it could be Doug’s. Aren’t Andy and Nancy supposed to be endgame? Or is that too predictable? Ugh, fine. We like the idea of Nancy and the Rabbi anyway. We want to learn how to stack cups like that crazy guy. Nancy is trying to get back in the business, only legally this time. Oh Nancy, pharmaceuticals are arguable worse than weed. She’s going to be making the marijuana pill. We wish it was that easy for us to get a job. We have to send out dozens of applications, go on interviews, visit offices, and wait by the phone. Nancy just has to go to her kid’s soccer practice. Too cruel. This may be rude to say, but Stevie was cuter last year. His head looks mashed in and his face is funny. Doug is starting a charity. Yawn.

Episode grade: B-

Unfreeze

Bear pancakes?!! Hell to the yeah. We don’t really care about Nancy’s attempts to bond with her younger son. She constantly puts herself over her older two children, so we’ve written her off as Mother of the TV Year, no matter what sorts of pancakes she makes. We liked the way Jill announced her pregnancy to the rest of the family: “Well, praise the Lord and pass the stretch mark cream.” Silas looks great in a lab coat. Andy is trying to work for Rabbi David. David, throw him out immediately! Our favorite Nancy moment this season was when she took the muffins back. Andy doesn’t know much about the Torah. That story didn’t necessarily involve children. The word used can refer to 30-year-olds. It was probably a mob of young men threatening Elisha, not just teasing him. (Okay, Ern, save it for the other blog.) It was a funny way to get the kids under control though. Shane graduated from police academy? Wow, already? That’s cool. Doctor Cornish was cool and said some of the things we’ve all been thinking about Nancy’s new job. We’re glad she threw him a bone. Of course Nancy would sleep her way to success.

Episode grade: B+

Five Miles from Yetzer Hara

Nancy is racking up the sales and gets a promotion. Shane’s new job SUCKS, even if it’s lucrative. Angela is having all the fun. It turns out Jill isn’t pregnant; she’s going through menopause. Hallelujah. We’re glad Nancy didn’t sell her generic Adderall to that receptionist. Doug, you are just the worst person. We were hoping Doug would go to prison for fraud, but having to blow the government worker was an alright consequence. We laughed at it. Andy’s reaction to Jill’s lie was fantastic. FINALLY, Nancy hooks up with the Rabbi who got her back on the straight and narrow. We’re mixing our religions again, aren’t we? Andy is set on a baby, so he and Jill discuss adoption while they have sex. But Andy still wants his own. We liked the song they played about weed when the pills were being made. That’s downloadable. Nice use of Regina Spektor too. We don’t feel bad for Jill. Poor Jill, her life is so boring, she is getting a labradoodle. People are dying in Africa, Jill, you twat. Jill and Nancy teaming up to sell the Adderall to the college kids themselves worked for us. We weren’t buying “good Nancy.” That was a cute episode. It made us want to read the Talmund.

Episode grade: B+

Weeds - A Beam of Sunshine

Ouch, those health care bills looked painful. Nancy’s gonna have to deal a lot of weed. This show is obviously pumping how messed-up health care is in the U.S. We are sick of her being a crazy invalid. The doctors need to fix her quick. Nancy’s having a crisis of conscience?!! What?!! Like that’s gonna last…right? We don’t know. She seems sincere about this second chance stuff. Since we’ve lost all sympathy for her (and everyone else on this show) as a person, we don’t care. You have to admire Nancy for being able to confront the clown guy who threatened her, even when she can hardly walk and talking puts her out of breath.

Does Silas have more Mommy issues this season, or is he just having fun having someone else be his bitch for a change? The best character, Andy, is sidelined with that stupid sister we hate. Good on you, Shane, for finding Peter. Good on you. In other news, Doug is still on this show. And he’s still being lecherous. At this point, we are only watching Weeds because it’s only half an hour and we want to see how it all ends. We don’t want to read about it. After all these years, we want to actually see it. Maybe. Unless every episode of season eight is this dull.

Episode grade: C-

Hunger Games fans: Hunter Parrish as Finnick O'Dair? Yea or Nay?

Weeds - Messy

The shooter is revealed! And while it’s surprising, we don’t really like it. We loved hearing the original Little Boxes theme at the beginning of the show, but we also hated having to wait so long for the episode to start. The season ended on quite the cliffhanger, what with Nancy getting shot in the head by an unknown sniper. Thank GOD we didn’t have to wait longer than one episode to know the shooter’s identity. It’s DEA Agent Peter Scottson’s son, Tim. When we first saw his face, we were all, “Who?”, but the show did a flashback and let us know that it was the little karate kid all grown up. Shane bit him, remember? We had hoped the shooter would be someone that we actually wanted to see on the show again, like Celia or Esteban back from the dead.

The season is starting out alright. It wasn’t laugh-out-loud funny or clever like this show was back in its best days (seasons one and two), but we liked the scene with the rabbi and hope that character sticks around. The Rabbi Dave scene was the best scene in the episode. The rabbi seems pretty tolerant of other faiths and it's afraid to throw out an f-bomb for a joke. That strikes us as just real, rather than hypocritical. We liked Andy’s assertion that believing in God doesn’t just bring comfort, because God has all his own kind of scary. 

We also like Jill’s daughters and little Stevie. Bringing new, younger, cuter kids to this crazy show is a good idea. Can Jill die and Nancy just adopt all of them? Jill isn’t funny. So yeah, Nancy lived. Tim Scottson isn’t a great shot. The bullet just hit the top. Nancy was annoying in the ambulance, but she’s shut up now. Let’s hope the season has somewhere to go so that the show goes out on a high note.

Episode grade: B-

Weeds Got Renewed!

There will be a season 8 for Weeds. Thank God, because the show could NOT end the way season 7 did.

Weeds Season Seven Needs a Sequel

Weeds is one of those shows that we have to stick with until the bitter end. We just have to find out how it all ends up. Contrary to some people, we don’t think the last good season was the one where they lived in Agrestic and then burned it down. We liked the whole thing where Nancy married Esteban. The season before that, when she met him, was a little dull, but at least it still had some Celia. We also liked last season’s crazy road trip. This season has been a little dull. Too much Silas, not enough Andy. Although Shane finally got useful.

Monday night marked season seven’s finale. We were all ready for the show to wrap things up. The creator has said that this will probably be Weeds’ last season, and we were fine with that. It was time for this to end. But now that we’ve seen the possible series finale, we believe IT JUST CAN’T END LIKE THAT! That’s not an ending. It’s not even a cool, ambiguous ending like The Sopranos. (Spoilers start here) The show ended with Nancy and her whole misfit family around a table, having a good time. That might have been a great way to end the series. A little too happy, maybe, but it was better than what happened. A sniper seems to have shot Nancy. We saw the sights set on her and then the screen went dark and the sound of a shot was heard.

Everyone is trying to debate who the shooter was. Our personal theory was that it was Esteban Reyes, who died too easily and off-screen. He was the villain for more than one season, so for him to die in prison was just too big of a letdown to be believed. Also, the blurry image actually looked like Esteban. We are fine with that, because we liked him as a character.

Also, was Shane ready to turn on his mom by secretly being in the police academy? What happened there? We are actually ok with Nancy getting shot as the end to the series, but we need to know who did it and why. Was it one of Shane’s cop friends? Did the other cop’s angry speech about his apathy shake him to his core? This is unlikely, but anything is possible at this point.

The finale was pretty great. Nancy’s sister turned out to be a lot of fun. Everyone was back to form. The season ended in a cliffhanger, like this show’s seasons always do. So there has to be a season eight. This season eight should have an ending (a REAL one), and it should actually be the last season. This show passed its dying breath a while ago with most viewers, and those of us who have stuck it out have been patient. So, please, Showtime, renew it one more time. We need to see if Nancy and Andy get together or if he grows up and gets a life. We think they belong together, personally.

Season Grade: B-

Checking in on Weeds Season 6

Lots of people started hating Weeds after Agrestic burned down, but we’re not counted among that crowd. We liked the way the show kept evolving and re-creating itself. We liked the Mexican drug lord, the season five road trip, the new baby, Andy getting shot down by Nancy, and all the weird tension. When the crew was in Agrestic, the show mostly existed as a suburban satire (which we think the world has had enough of in entertainment) and a way to make fun of Christians. Sure, it was fast-moving and funny, so we loved it just as much then too.

But this season has been truly slow so far. We would like to see the show end before it gets worse. The premiere looked promising, but things have stalled. Nancy is still living in a prison halfway house. Andy is trying to sell some bike device to Doug’s new company (Doug got a real job again).

Silas is still modeling and sulking about what a horrible mom he has. Shane’s new criminal justice class was the most entertaining part of this week’s episode. We like when Nancy starts randomly acting like a mom, like when she told Silas about the day he was born. That was actually really sweet. Silas probably had the funniest part this season- when he was modeling inside a giant bubble that was really a test of human nature.

But it feels, more than ever, like this show doesn’t know where it’s going or what the theme of the season is. The show seems to want us to know that Nancy is the most important person in the lives of the other characters, no matter how many times she messes things up. So there has been a huge focus on the family moving from Amsterdam back to her and building their lives around her again.

We get it. Move on. Bring on some gangsters or cops or substantial drug dealing or something. Because this season is doing the slow burn and it hasn’t been very funny. Some shows can do a slow burn, but this one needs to be witty week-to-week, especially after all these years and the late seasons that some viewers don’t care for. We haven’t been enjoying the show as much and watching it is kind of a chore, but we want to see it through.

Oh, and Heylia? It’s illegal to set death traps, even to protect your property. You have to actually shoot the people yourself to get away with killing an intruder. Food for thought for any would-be imitators who want to make their house a fortress.

Season grade so far: C-

Weeds - Bags review

Weeds has reinvented itself again with these same characters…many of whom readers and viewers of the show have lost all sympathy for. Nancy has been in jail for three years. She hasn’t even served half her sentence when she is released out of gratitude from the FBI agent she helped last season.

Why the light sentence for the murder of Pilar? Well, she pled manslaughter/self-defense. Nancy had a lesbian lover in prison. This is unsurprising, because not even women can resist the sexiest mom of all time, especially in prison where men are not an option. Also, it seems like everyone on TV is getting a lesbian lover nowadays.

The rest of the Botwin clan are just as weird, but less entertaining, without Nancy. Of course, they are all going to leave their cool, carefree lives in Copenhagen to come enable Nancy to be a very inept criminal again. She’s doing something with hand grenades and other weapons right now, for her jail lover. That sounds more compelling than selling weed….again.

Also, Silas as a male model? That FINALLY happened. Good job, show. Finally doing something realistic. Shane is more bearable. Andy is about a thousand times lamer. He’s a tour guide. Still in love with Nancy too. Baby Stevie is all grown up and so cute! But he calls his mom “Nancy.” It’s Nancy’s jerk sister’s fault.

Let us now mourn for Esteban Reyes, the serial spanker and gangster from the last two seasons, who the FBI agent tells us was found dead in prison. We are sad about this. He brought some real danger to the show. Also, he was pretty hot. Say it ain’t so. Maybe.

Who knows if the right body was identified or if someone covered for Esteban/it’s all a conspiracy. It’s possible. He could show up at the end of this season. But, then again, the actor has been doing lots of movie roles, so he’s probably busy. But what an anticlimactic way to get rid of what was probably the show’s biggest villain. Andy should have gotten to shoot him or something.

It might be this show’s last season. While it moves swiftly and has gotten less pretentious, it might be time to end it after this year. It has never been a chore to watch, but it is far from a favorite. And Walter White is simply the superior TV drug dealer. Nancy is kind of a moron.

This was a predictable, average start to the season. The only remarkable thing about this episode was the awesome catch Shane made when his ex-lover threw his laptop at us. The fact that she was an old puppeteer and wanted to be impregnated didn't even make us blink. It's Shane. Of course that's his girlfriend.

Episode grade: C+

The Big C and Weeds End Their Seasons

Yes, we finished Weeds and The Big C, and we were impressed with both shows. They will both get another season from Showtime next year, and we will be watching them both. Because they aren't watched by many of our readers (and that's a shame), we won't do weekly recaps on them. But just know that we would want to.

The Big C finale made us tear up. The acting on that show is great, we love the guest starts (Liam Neeson and Cynthia Nixon, who looks great by the way), and we like that the show isn’t a one-gimmick thing. We thought it was going to drag Cathy hiding her cancer, acting crazy, and not seeking treatment for longer than this, but this season went through all of that. We are glad her son has a heart, too. This was an easy show to watch, and it was both funny and touching. The finale was good. We loved that the show didn't embrace suicide as the best option for Cathy or Marlene. We thought it was going to go in that direction, and while it respectfully considered it, the choice to fight on was the right one, in these womans' cases.

Season grade: A-

The Weeds finale was stressful! All Weeds seasons end on a cliffhanger, and boy did this season deliver the cliffhanger. Through the tension, there was some humor though (Guillermo’s shoes) and the return of Esteban was scary and welcome. One question for those who have seen it: why didn’t Nancy take the baby and get on the plane, fleeing to France with the rest of the family? What was Esteban going to do about it, at the gate, through security, at the airport? She could have gotten away. Did she really want to take the heat for Shane, just in case France caught him and sent him back? Won’t Esteban just show the police the tape exonerating her for the murder portion anyway? Ugh. More importantly, hasn’t Silas gotten smokin’ hot over the years? This season had its slow points in the middle, but we liked the “family on the run” concept, and there were a lot of laughs.

Season grade: B+

15 Couples We Say Belong Together

So the usually good site, Entertainment Weekly, made a list of “Couples that are meant to be,” and we didn’t like it. For example, they had Hannah and Booth as their example of a meant-to-be couple. We know they were just trying to shake us up, but this suggestion is so wrong.

Here is the offending list (with our commentary):
9 TV Couples We Say Belong Together (What kind of a number is NINE? That’s not very round, is it?)
1. Don and Faye, Mad Men - Fine. That’s fine. Mostly because we don’t care about Mad Men.
2. Seeley Booth and Hannah Burley, Bones - This is just. No. Just no.
3. Michael Scott and Holly Flax, The Office - Fair enough, but kind of a “duh” thing.
4. Liz Lemon and Wesley Snipes, 30 Rock - Carol is better.
5. Jeff Winger and Britta Perry, Community - We don’t think ANYONE on that show belongs with another person in the study group. That’s what makes it such a great study group. Sure, they hook up and tease us with the possibilities. But at the end of the day, this group is “friends first,” and that’s how we like it. The show just can’t pull off a cute romance. It will always come across as sleazy. The show is funny, not romantic.
6. Stefan and Elena, The Vampire Diaries - They can’t stay faithful to each other through the whole show, or we will never get to see the hook up just about every fan wants.
7. Tina and Artie, Glee - Tina can do better, they weren’t that satisfying together, and a big Who Cares?
8. Serena and Dan, Gossip Girl - Sure, but they are stepsiblings and not the couple we watch the show to see.
9. Mark and Lexie, Grey’s Anatomy - Believe it or not, a lot of people think this is creepy and that they don’t actually work together. Mark needs an older, confident woman, like Addison, and Lexie needs a sweeter, younger guy.

Ok, maybe that list wasn’t as bad as we thought at first glance, but we still thought they left out some good couples. So we’ve made our own list. We’ve also included couples on shows that are over.

15 TV Couples
1. Jack Bauer and Audrey Raines, 24 - The ending of 24’s worst season (six) had to be one of the most depressing things we’ve ever seen. Audrey went all the way to China to save Jack Bauer, only to end up a zombie/vegetable. Jack Bauer has never had the best women for his lifestyle. Let’s face it, Terri was not a strong woman, Kate was a little blonde stick who at least tried, and his season 3 Senorita died too soon. She was cool though. Renee was also good, but she’s dead too. Some of you will cry for Chloe, but even though the actress played her as if she loved Jack Bauer, we think it’s better for Chloe to stay with her husband. This leaves Audrey, who was lame in season four but really stepped it up later. They deserve their happy ending, because they really loved each other. Hopefully they see that in the movie and at least give us some resolution on her character.

2. Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock - We KNOW it would be cliché. We KNOW Tina Fey has said that the series won’t end with Jack and Liz “doing it.” But can’t they just get together without sex? Have the sex happen in the future, off screen? Can they at least do it once, regret it, gag, shudder, and move on? Come on Tina Fey, it would be fun. And hilarious.

3. Booth and Bones, Bones - DUH. Who cares if Hannah is “perfect”? These two characters carried this show for all these years. Their characters are well-defined and irreplaceable. We’ve watched them flirt, support each other, fight, work together, avoid each other, and grow together. If they don’t end up together before the end of the series, we may lose faith in TV altogether. It has been way too long as it is.

4. Mal and Inara, Firefly - We are ok that we didn’t see this couple hook up. Once they did, we don’t know what the show would have done with the characters, plus, THAT might have been too cliché. It just wasn’t their time yet, even by the end of the movie. But we know that they ended up together. Inara stayed in the ship, and the writers left it with a smile and a glimmer of hope.

5. Rory and Jess, Gilmore Girls - Jess was perfect for Rory. He just had issues, ran out on her, and needed to grow up. Later in the series, we saw signs of Jess getting his life together by writing a book and getting into small business. We like to think that, ten years later, Rory and Jess find each other again, marry, and have many babies.

6. Puck and Rachel, Glee - Don’t get us wrong, Finn and Rachel are cute, but the Puckelberry romance was way too brief. We don’t want Puck with Quinn after seeing her chemistry with Sam. Wowser. And we don’t want Puck alone. Rachel needs a bad boy, and she’s the only girl on the show who could both handle and potentially soften Puck. Dear Rachel, Finn is going to end up mowing lawns for the rest of his life, and he’s not smart enough for you. Go for a fellow hot Jew.

7. Chuck and Blair, Gossip Girl - Another “duh.” These two are the heart of the show. Period. They will end up together.

8. Robin and Barney, How I Met Your Mother - There comes a time in almost every man’s life when they realize that one-night stands with women they will never see again leave them lonely and disconnected. What a guy really needs is a girl who won’t bore him because she’s just plain fun to be around. Robin is cool, pretty, smart, and someone Barney actually cares about. It’s not their time yet, but we hope that Barney sees how much fun it would be to hang out with Robin forever.

9. Alicia and Someone Else, The Good Wife -Neither her husband nor Will are good enough or hot enough for her. Alicia is gorgeous and classy. They need to bring on a guy who fits. Although, it would be extremely interesting to pair her with Eli Gold, at least for a time. It would be unpredictable, no? And it would bring the drama.

10. Dwight and Angela, The Office - These two were able to keep a secret, stable relationship for years. No one else is going to tolerate either of these two forever. Besides, Dwight needs five German boys to turn into mini, weird Dwights. We are sure he has screened Angela’s health records by now.

11. Richard and Kahlan, Legend of the Seeker - Apparently, after the series finale, they can now be together. This is good, because whether it’s the books or the TV series, these two won’t settle for anyone else. These are the only two on the list who aren't currently together. A requirement to get on this list is to not be a couple that is currently together. This is our exception, because, hey, it's our list.

12.Smith and Samantha, Sex and the City - The series finale ended everything perfectly, leaving us sure that each of the girls was with “The One.” Then the movie had to go and royn it. Also, for the record, Steve would never do that to Miranda!!! Ugh.

13. Matt and Caroline, The Vampire Diaries - After Caroline sacrificed her relationship with Matt to protect him, we knew it was true love. We never thought she was worthy of Matt, but we rooted for the relationship anyway. Now that’s she’s awesome, we are even more into this couple.

14. Sookie and Eric, True Blood - Sookie isn’t the quiet Southern belle Bill obviously needs. She’s the sex-loving, optimistic, non-human, spitfire Eric clearly needs.

15. Andy and Nancy, Weeds - We don’t want this one to happen until the end, but it clearly needs to happen. Andy stuck with this crazy family through all their crime and killing, so he deserves to get the girl. Plus, he’s a fun guy. Who doesn’t want to be with the fun guy?

We know there are some we missed, because no list is perfect. So let us know if we did!

Checking in on Weeds - Season 6, eps 7-9

These episodes focused on the Botwin’s new life on the run. Oh, and Doug is there too. First, Nancy took the gang to a local carnival to try to put some innocence back into Shane. Nancy ended up inciting a big fight in light, so that was a bust, and it only confirmed to Shane that he and his mother are the same: outlaws. Andy and Silas entered a disgusting butter-eating contest, and Silas won. They couldn’t take home the prize, a luxury class RV, because delivery of the prize required identification, tax numbers, social securities, and a picture in the local paper.

Episode 7 grade: B

The Botwins liked the idea of an RV, so they bought a gross one that used to belong to a pastor who was into gay Jewish porn. The RV said “God Loves Awesome” on the side, which was pretty funny. The gang settled briefly in a small, backwoods town, where Andy and Doug pretended to be pastors to get money. Nancy took off and had drunk, aggressive sex with a hot bartender (Nancy sure likes to be spanked, doesn’t she? That would be such a turn-off for us. Our dads spanked us. It would remind us of our dads). The morning after, Nancy found out that Hot Bartender was married when his wife showed up with his three kids to yell at/attack Nancy. Whoops.

Episode 8 grade: A-

On the road again, Nancy was worried when she noticed that baby Stevie’s poop was green and stringy. Andy and Nancy took Stevie to a pediatrician, and Nancy got a rude wake-up call that Stevie needs stability, care, and safety. Silas taught Shane a funny lesson about how Silas is in charge for a reason (he’s smarter and has better interpersonal skills). Nancy and Andy plan to do one bug hash sell, drop the dealing, and move to Copenhagen with the family.

Episode 9 grade: B+

To some, these episodes might have seemed meandering and groundless, but to us, they were exceptionally funny, even for Weeds episodes, and mixed the serious with the ridiculous well. We loved how Nancy shut out reality by pretending not the care, getting drunk, going to carnivals, and seeking out meaningless sex, only to have the reality of the last few weeks fall hard on her head in the latest episode with the pediatrician. Nancy is such a tough, well-rounded character, but this season she seemed a little too devil-may-care and unworried for us. The last episode brought back the fact that Nancy is a mom.

Also, we are loving the attention that the show is paying to the Nancy/Andy relationship. We think the season is going to end in a big airport confrontation with Esteban, but the road to get there is humorous and exciting. This show never leaves the characters stuck in a rut and isn’t afraid to move them or change up their lives to propel the show.

Weeds- A Shoe for a Shoe review

What we learned from this episode of Weeds: You can’t defeat a mother lion. And, for once, Nancy deserves the title.

After Nancy gets rid of the child services people and the crazy-for-Andy’s sperm mom, she goes to Cesar’s proposed “trade off.” She was supposed to bring baby Stevie to get Shane back, but she brought a crossbow covered in a baby blanket instead, shooting Cesar in the leg and taking his gun. Meanwhile, another of Esteban’s thugs, Ignacio, took Shane and Doug to wait in a diner. Silas and Andy were also in this diner, waiting for Nancy. Nancy went to the diner to meet up with Andy and Silas, and she ended up in a Mexican stand-off with Ignacio. Ignacio didn’t think Nancy would shoot him, but Shane took the gun from Nancy. Ignacio, who knows Shane well, let the family go. The Botwins and Doug escaped.

So, is this the end of the Esteban storyline? With Cesar and Ignacio off their tails, is that it? Nancy DID tell Shane “no more Spanish.” We didn’t like psycho Shane before, but now we do. He really saved the family this time, and we think his dark side is interesting now. We loved Nancy’s apology and goodbye call to Esteban. We miss Esteban though. We also think that getting Shane back was too easy. Where is this show going now?

Episode grade- B

Weeds Boomerang Review

Last night's Weeds officially ended the slow slump the show has been in while the family was hiding from Esteban.

At first, we were disappointed when the cops from last week didn’t catch Andy and Nancy with marijuana, because we needed there to be drama or a game-changing event on this show already. It turns out they were just after their van, which meant the family had to move again. Silas, comfortable pretending to be a college student, was upset to leave his new life and girlfriend Kimmy. He “borrowed” her car. Yeah, she’s not getting that back.

Nancy ripped the earlobe off of a woman trying to steal Nancy’s pot money. Meanwhile, Doug feared for his life and prayed to God, “I tried…I tried to read the Bible, but it always felt like a way less awesome Lord of the Rings.” We dig this comparison.

Nancy was having trouble contacting Shane (his voice message was “You must be old if you aren’t texting, so leave a message, mom”), when everyone the family had ever wronged showed up at their hotel room. The moms Shane befriended called child protective services on behalf of the infant (resulting in a funny moment with Andy.) The woman with one earlobe showed up with her man to exact revenge on Nancy.

Then, Doug and Esteban’s men appeared and got Shane. The episode ended with Nancy learning this news via a call from Shane and sinking to the floor. This one started out very slow, but ended well. We are excited to see Shane’s murder catch up to him, and we are also happy to see the family leave their attempt at a normal life. We wonder if child protective services will end up taking the baby (they probably will), and we wonder how Nancy is going to get out of this mess, as usual. This new set up is MUCH more promising than it would have been if Nancy and Andy had simply gotten arrested for having weed trimmings...

This episode also dealt a little with Andy and Nancy’s relationship, establishing that Nancy has been dangling the hope that they one day might hook up in front of Andy in order to stop him from leaving them. We know they will end up together, in the end.

Episode grade- B (because there weren't as many funny parts as usual)

Weeds- “Bliss” episode review

Dear Weeds, nobody cares about Doug. Also, we had our filler hotel episode last week, and we want something to happen already. On that note, thanks for this episode’s ending! It’s about time cops caught Nancy, but we feel bad that they caught Andy too.

At the start of the episode, Shane was lamenting that Nancy was a bad influence to her new baby. “You’re not a bad influence because you’re a drug dealer. You’re a bad influence because you’re a BAD drug dealer.” Cue laughter from Andy. Nancy made a deal with the hotel concierge to deal hash to the guests.

Shane took the baby, met a group of mothers at a park, told them his little brother was actually his baby, and tried to bond. One of the mothers busted him on one of his lies though, so I guess he will have to make new, more appropriate friends.

Silas, in an attempt to regain his manhood after last week, starting hanging around a college campus, pretending to go there, and hooking up with college girls.

Doug led Esteban’s men to a homeless man who had found Andy’s old cell phone that Andy ditched. The homeless man is now homeless AND dead.

Andy had just been promoted to sous-chef at the hotel, and he was looking to keep his job and do well at it. “This is my Eat Pray Love moment. This is my bliss,” he said. But Nancy needed cooking oil to get more supply from a couple of lesbian hippies, so he went with her. As he and Nancy exited the hippies’ house with their supply, they were confronted by cops.

Definitely a filler, but Weeds sure knows how to redeem an episode with a cliffhanger ending.

Episode Grade- C

Weeds- A Yippity Sippity: Not the best or funniest episode, but it’s still Weeds.

This one was a filler, so I’m anxious for more.

Episode 3 of season 6 finds our “heroes” getting jobs at a hotel to start their new, normal lives away from drugs, cops, and suburbia. I love this show. It’s easy to watch, and it never wears out its welcome. Whenever the credits roll, I’m always shocked and angered. The show is not afraid to change locations, follow crazy plotlines, play up its formulas, and completely change in everything but tone and main characters. The breezy tones and scrappy antiheroes keep this show fun and fresh.

Nancy is now a maid, Silas is a bellhop, and Andy is a dishwasher. Psycho kid Shane gets to babysit Esteban’s adorable seed (the only baby who never really seems to cry). The show managed to make even these mundane jobs entertaining. Silas had to read naked to a hotel guest who tipped well (“Is it gay?” “Not if he’s paying you for it. Or if it’s underwater”). Nancy had to clean up after what looked like a typical college party, and then she had to clean up after a kinky sex act (at least that one left a tip. “Dear maid: You know I like paying women for dirty jobs”). Shane, predictably, stole a stroller. Andy fought with his boss. Silas has the best job, even with the creep factor. Who can blame the creepo? Silas is getting hot as he ages.

Nancy has a new wig that makes her look younger and edges up her wholesome face. I like it. Silas wondered what his life would have been like if Nancy had given up their upper-crust lifestyle, worked at the GAP, and never sold drugs. This is something I’ve been wondering since this show’s inception. Shane maintained that he still would have killed someone.

In the end, Nancy and Co. got back to their roots. Weeds. Well, hash this time. But the hotel needs marijuana, and Nancy is great at making that work. I like her quirky new suppliers too.

Nancy’s portrayer, Mary Louise Parker, says that people send her marijuana all the time as a result of her work in “Weeds.” She has never used it, missing out in her youth and feeling too old to take it up now. “I’m a mom.” Mary, that never stopped Nancy….