Pretty Little Liars: Season 4, episodes 1-2.

Okay, we don't exactly know why our blog views have skyrocketed in the past week, but it makes sense that it's the return of Pretty Little Liars. That means we'd better write about it, right? Give the people what they want!

Burning TV questions that only time can answer/things we're worried about:

1. Will they drag Pretty Little Liars on too long?
2. Will Supernatural ever be good again? Will Homeland be able to match the quality of its first season next year? 
3. Will Breaking Bad and Dexter have endings worthy of them? And can they please let Jesse Pinkman live?
4. Will George R.R. Martin's sixth book be better than four and five? Will he actually end it on the seventh? Can he finish on time to stay ahead of the show?
5. Will the next crop of new shows be better than the new shows last year, of which there was maybe one good effort?
6. Has Once Upon a Time completely lost its thunder, and will the show ever make sense? Ditto The Vampire Diaries.
7. Will the 24 reunion be good, or will it be like 24:Redemption, the awful movie?
8. Will they make more of the (still excellent) Arrested Development series or will the haters shut it down?
9. Will people inexplicably keep watching Arrow and keep it on the air?
10. Will Bunheads ever have anything resembling a plot?

ERGHHHH

Pretty Little Liars show summary: Updated to include all of season 3.

And now, before season four starts, a synopsis of the last three seasons. 

First, a few characters:

Alison DiLaurentis- The dead girl who started it all. Alison DiLaurentis is the Liars' friend who was murdered. She was a fabulous, evil bitch. She often shows up in flashbacks (thank God)

Liar #1:Aria Montgomery- Aria is the Liar wearing too many accessories and crazy outfits at all time. She's mature, outgoing, and artistic (kind of). Her parents are the awesome Ella Montgomery and the lame Byron Montgomery, and she has a younger brother named Mike Montgomery, who is rarely seen. We suspect Aria of being "A."

Summer TV List

Family Tree- May 12

Arrested Development- May 26

The Fall- May 28

Teen Wolf- June 3

The Fosters- June 3

Switched At Birth- June 10

Twisted- June 11

Pretty Little Liars- June 11

Wilfred- June 20

Copper- June 23

Under the Dome- June 24

Big Brother- June 26

Dexter- June 30

Ray Donovan- June 30

Orange is the New Black- July 11

Web Therapy- July 22

The Bridge- July TBA

Breaking Bad- August 11

Low Winter Sun- August 11

We are dropping True Blood, which gets more and more boring each season. We couldn’t give a crap about a single character anymore.

Pretty Little Liars: Season three, episode 24

A dAngerous gAme- The biggin'. Well, everyone saw that coming. The Redcoat reveal was predictable and needed to happen. We all knew it was her. We're just glad it wasn't someone else and we had to wait for a reveal that it was her. But let's back up...

Pretty Little Liars- Season 3, Episode 23

I'm Your Puppet- We could hardly even process this episode, it was so twisty and brilliant. We had to re-watch a couple of scenes to even figure out what actually happened. If this is the penultimate episode, we can't wait for next week.

Pretty Little Liars: Season 3, Episode 22

Will the Circle Be Unbroken- Is Spencer crazy? Spencer seems to think so. By the end of the episode, she was hallucinating the other Liars and admitting that she isn't reliable. It's so sad, but, again, great. We like Eddie, the new character and Spencer's caretaker.

Pretty Little Liars- Season 3, Episode 21

Out of Sight, Out of Mind- Wow. The moment we all knew was coming happened. We were sad about it, of course, but it's so so so cool of the show to take a main character here. Here meaning Radley. They have actually committed Spencer!

The episode starts with Spencer telling her friends about Toby. Emily does not want to believe it, thinking of Toby as a friend, lover of Spencer, and the person who helped her get up the courage to come out. Spencer has ZERO sympathy.

Aria spends the episode dealing with (?) Ezra building a relationship with Malcolm and Maggie moving to Rosewood. Shockingly, his son in the hospital takes up more of Ezra's attention than his high schooler girlfriend. Emily attempts to locate Toby and finds nothing but a warehouse full of Toby's old co-workers, one of whom is clearly lying about what he knows about Toby.

Hanna finds Wilden's cop car, complete with incriminating videos, in the Marin garage. She enlists Aria and the two push the car into the lake, breaking a jillion laws. Literally a jillion. Spencer ends up in the woods, finding a dead body (well, a body that MONA says is dead, so take that with a grain of salt) that appears to be Toby's. We're not taking any of this to the bank.

Spencer chases after Mona in the woods all night and suffers from exposure/exhaustion/general craziness. By the time local authorities find Spencer, she is reeeeeal cray, and they take her to the loony bin. The other Liars don't know yet. Man, this is getting good. We can't wait for the next one.

Episode grade: A-

Pretty Little Liars- Season 3, Episode 20

Hot Water- There was Ezra drama, blah blah blah, Maggie is going to be homeless, Aria didn't tell Fishy about the kiss, and Ezra fought with his mom. Ezria is still a thing. With THAT out of the way, we can talk about the good stuff, and man was there good stuff. Ashley Effing Marin ran Wilden down with a car to protect Hanna. This was a dumb decision, obviously, but it was still a little awesome.

What's more awesome is Spencer spending a hot evening with Wren and Toby (presumably) getting jealous enough to lock Spencer in the Hasting's steam room. Melissa is under suspicion again. Oh, and CeCe is afraid of Wilden and leaving town. We are upset about that. She'd better be back soon. We lurve her.

The episode ends with Spencer ready to tell her friends that Toby is working with A. We hope the show starts right there next week, rather than letting us miss their reactions. Since this post was so short, you can assume that not a lot actually happened. But what happened was so big that it felt like a lot happened.

Episode grade: B+

Pretty Little Liars Season 3, episode 19

What Becomes of the Broken Hearted- Yet another "better late than never" post from us. After A sends Spencer a text threatening to take out one of the other Liars if Spencer tells them about Toby, Spencer clams up even harder. It must have looked to A like Spencer was getting ready to crack. She should have told them sooner. Then, Spencer gets kicked off the Academic Decathlon Team, with Andrew being the swing vote and Mona being the instigator.

Pretty Little Liars- Season 3, Episode 18

Dead to Me- Jason spends the episode putting Alison's body in a mausoleum and getting the Liars to come for the burial. Again. Spencer doesn't want to go, but she ends up crashing in order to angrily tell Jason about both Wilden and the pregnancy, even though neither are 100% confirmed. The other Liars are miffed. Spencer is taking her grief and anger out on everyone. She sees the Toby's mom's tomb and scratches "TOBY" on it with the A key. We kind of loved that.

Spencer also continues to work with the PI. She tracks down another A lair, but it's abandoned. This is the final straw for Spencer, who hoped to find Toby (and an explanation) still in the lair. We're glad the show isn't just ditching Spencer's downward spiral. It continues, and she is crazier than ever. It might be the most interesting thing this show has ever done with a character. Also, it didn't come out of nowhere (like Mona's insanity). Spencer has always been paranoid, tightly wound, passionate, and a tad unstable. Good job, show.

Emily gets hypnotherapy, but her wacky brain (or Doctor Anne) confuses her into thinking she killed Ali. Eventually, Emily remembers what really happened. The night she was roofied, she reluctantly helped someone on the A team and someone else in a red jacket dig up Ali's body. Interesting. We also find out that Paige wasn't cheating on Emily. She was trying to get information on A. Nothing was found; no one was surprised.

Hanna and Caleb go to his aunt's house to go through some old stuff. The aunt was the one who put Caleb in the foster care system, so we hate her and we're glad she's dead (she's dead, right?). They see Caleb's uncle, who was nice to Caleb when he was five. Hanna quickly figures out that the uncle is really Caleb's dad, and we figured it out even sooner than that. Caleb is in denial. We think it's really sweet, but there needs to be a good explanation why the dad didn't come through for Caleb when he needed him.

Aria is spending the time during Fish Face's absence getting to know his little brother, who is less fish-faced. We approve. Wesley tells Aria that he slept with a teacher, and Aria actually judges him for it, calling the idea "stupid." Is she kidding? Wesley doesn't want to be controlled by his parents and admires both Aria and Ezra for being unpredictable and taking hold of their own lives. No word from Ezra. We hope he stays gone, but who are we kidding? He'll be back and they will probably stay together forever. We've seen TV before. We know an endgame couple when we see one.

Episode grade: B

Pretty Little Liars- Season 3, Episode 17

own episode for $2 here ^

Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Inferno- We loved the opening sequence, Spencer's dream. It was sexy, creepy, sad, and full of shirtless Toby. Spencer has been staying away from her friends. We wouldn't be rushing to tell our best friends that we had such a serious lapse in judgment and choice of boyfriend either. It's not just devastating; it's embarrassing. Also, telling her friends makes it feel more real. Spencer would crack if it were any more real.

Emily's mom brings her a package from Nate's family. They sent it as an apology for the stalking and kidnapping. It's full of cards and things that Emily gave to Ali. Nate probably got it from Maya. We cut to Hanna's house and finally see Ashley Marin! We've missed her. Hanna's mom is sniffing around, asking questions, and wondering if "it" is happening again. It IS, Ashley! Get on that. Hanna tells her mom that Caleb is already interfering too much, and she doesn't need more help.

Pretty LIttle Liars- Season 3, Episode 16

Misery Loves Company- This was a big one. The end of Spoby, Meredith losing it epically, and answers about Byron. But let's back up. Aria is sick on the couch, looking "terrible" in Spencer's opinion. She just doesn't have any pink makeup on. The staff at PLL has been generous with the foundation, trying to make her look pale and shiny. It doesn't work at all, because she's still gorgeous. When we normal people are sick, we're splotchy, our hair sticks up everywhere, there are little crusty things under our noses, we have a giant onesie on, and our eyes look like dead marbles. Ultra-terrible.

Pretty Little Liars- Season 3, Episode 15

Mona-Mania- Sorry this is a day late. One of us had something to do during the usual blogging time. But better late than never, we always say. We found out whose bike was busted last week: the captain of the Academic Decathlon. That's one way to unseat a club leader, Mona.

Lucas finally coughs up the nature of his involvement with Mona and the A-Team. He's being blackmailed for selling answers to tests? Wow, we would come clean before we would do stuff for Mona. He was delivering messages from Jason to her back when she was in Radley. And, shocker, LUCAS almost blew up Meredith. Hanna has definitely set Mona off again, but that's Hanna. She's not going to pretend to be someone's friend. She's going to tell them to their face to get bent.

Pretty Little Liars- Season 3, episode 14

By JJduncan80 [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

She's Better Now- FINALLY. Not only is this show back, but Mona is back at Rosewood. Actually, what the eff? In what world would Mona be allowed to go back to Rosewood? She would have to be in treatment for years. No one can cure crazy in a couple of months. After someone knifes a cow brain into Mona's locker, she stalks around the school hallways way too slowly to get to the trash can. She's secretly relishing everyone's fear of her.

Pretty Little Liars- Summary of Seasons 1, 2, and the first half of 3

UPDATE: A new summary can be found here. It includes all of season three now.

Since the pathetic season one summary has been so popular, we thought we'd do this again and do this right for the thousands (89,910 according to this blog's stats) of people crawling all over this site looking for a way to catch up on PLL or refresh their memories. Know that this post took weeks. PLL is kind of a complex show. There are tons of clues, everywhere, and this recap will probably miss, like 1,000 of them. But we'll hit all the big notes and clues that we think are going to be important.

First, a few characters.

Pretty Little Liars- This is a Dark Ride

By JJ Duncan http://www.zimbio.com (Ashley Benson) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Even if we could forget that PLL was having its Halloween special this week, we'd be reminded when the blog's stats doubled. Y'all love you some PLL, and we don't blame you. We need to update that summary...We don't know about you guys, but we would totally go out with the guy who pretended to be dead-and-buried Alison. Since the agreement was to dress up as a character from a movie, it's perfectly reasonable for Hanna to think Aria was Daisy from the movie and not the book. Also, Aria doesn't think it's okay to play dress up for her man when it's not Halloween? Wow, you're a lucky man, Ezra. Costumes? Yeah, no, that's too far. What WILL she do then? Teen show, teen show, stop typing. Moving on... They should have known Noel wasn't really choking because he could make noises.

Ashley was lookin' fly in that wig. Maybe short hair is a good option for her? It makes her look younger. The ghosts stuff was annoying. Ghosts aren't in the PLL mythology. It's not that kind of show. Is that even going to lead anywhere or be important? The girl was from the twins story Alison told last Halloween. Aria, this is why you never take your eyes off your drink when you're out. There might be trouble for Ezra from this night, which could be good.

Yeah...because Adam Lambert would get to Rosewood. Whatever. It's even more unrealistic that he would talk to Aria during his break and not one of the 10,000 hot guys on this show. We found out that Byron was talking to Alison the night of her death, and Jenna thinks Garrett killed Alison, but he didn't.  Garrett dies- good riddance. He was no one's favorite character. They finally found Alison's body (probably).

Yeah, Pigskin! Fighting one of the A's off of Spencer was a bamf move. Was it Toby who tried to kill Spencer? That would be so sad. Toby, she was half a virgin when she met you! Caleb makes a much better Phantom of the Opera than Mona, who is a molester of other teen girls now, apparently. Most of the costumes were pretty great. We liked them better than last year's. Spencer's was the only one that disappointed. We wanted her to be nerdier and more creative than that. Who was buried alive at the end of the episode? It could be a flashback to the night of Alison's death and a hint that she's not really dead. We'll find out in January 2013.

This show is making us want to become an A team and terrorize people this Halloween. Could be a bad idea...we'll think on it. HEY GUYS WHAT IF ADAM LAMBERT IS A. Why does this show keep ignoring our PLL one true pairing, Spencer and Wren? Aria finally being attacked puts a wrench in our "Aria is A theory." They could explain it away though. We're going back to the twin thing as our #1 theory. Aria's hair is growing back from her cute haircut. Nooooo. Please let Ezra be bad please let Ezra be bad please let Ezra be bad....

Episode grade: A- for pure, campy Halloween fun

Pretty Little Liars- The Lady Killer

By JJ Duncan http://www.zimbio.com (Ashley Benson) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

The episode opened with a disturbing scene for everyone who loves people who are close to Hanna Marin. It’s full of ambulances and body bags. Spencer and Aria are comforting Hanna, who is crying hysterically. IS IT CALEB? Or her mom? A cop is questioning Emily, who looks like she’s in shock. She tells the cop that she knew the deceased. Hopefully it’s Nate, since the cop is talking to Emily, and Hanna is just crying so hard because she was in danger or saw something awful. Is it Ali’s body in the bag? Two days earlier, jury selection for Garrett’s trial is going on, and all the reporters are stalking Emily because she dated the victim.

Spencer, Aria, and Hanna are planning to tell Emily about the earring. Aria is wearing a blue skirt that looks like half of a tacky Halloween costume. Emily arrives and doesn’t take the news well. Paige and Spencer confront each other in the school hallway. What we wouldn’t give to see those two physically fight. It’s an important finale and all the girls should be focused on A, so naturally, Aria has some Ezra drama to deal with and steal her away from the main plotline. Maggie confirms that Malcolm is Ezra’s baby. Aria needs to tell Ezra immediately. No amount of money from the Fitzgeralds is worth a kid not having his dad, first of all, so how could keeping the secret be good for the kid? And second of all, Aria should be loyal to her boyfriend, not his ex.

When we saw Caleb’s gun, we thought Hanna was crying in the future because Caleb was arrested for having it and possibly shooting Nate. As much as we don’t think Toby and Spencer should be together much longer, their reunion was pretty sweet. YES. Spencer and Toby sexytime. Spencer loses her virginity. It was sweet, overly romanticized, and probably not a healthy message for the tween audience watching it (that having sex when you are high-school aged is acceptable and normal), but we liked it anyway. Kids, it’s not really like that. The guy you sleep with probably won’t have that bangin’ of a body either. His job won’t be to work out 24/7. It's just TV. Hot, blessed TV.

Emily decides to escape her friends and the reporters by going to an isolated cabin with Nate. Emily, why would you go on vacation with Nate, a boy who likes you, but you don’t like back? Putting aside the fact that he is creepy and clearly not Maya’s cousin, that’s just a bad position in which to put yourself. Emily’s mom should have insisted on coming. She doesn’t know this guy and her daughter is still a teenager! Holy Moly, the phone call Emily got was scary. That night in the cabin, Emily realizes that Nate is actually Maya’s stalker/boyfriend from camp. We knew it! We bet a whole lot of other people did too. Nate has concocted a long-running plan to kidnap Paige and kill her in front of Emily. And lesbians: that’s why you should never suddenly turn straight on your girlfriends.

The other girls are distracted by a text telling them to meet A by Ali’s grave. No one shows up, and they realize that they need to find Emily. Who else was surprised when Emily stabbed Nate in the lighthouse? During their fight, we thought Caleb would come in and save her. But clichés die on this show. Well done, PLL. That was bad ass. Maya is avenged! Then gunshot. WHAT?!! This show is so good. Nate shoots Caleb with his own gun right before dying. Caleb is going to be fine; we know it. Thank the Lord the Maya and Nate storyline is over.

The A team had a plan to frame Paige, but Nate foiled it. Mona escapes from the mental institution. The creepy A lair is back! We can’t believe Toby was the betrAyer, but we love it and it makes sense. He’s always been a little weird. For some reason though, we keep thinking that Toby isn’t really with the A team. He is infiltrating them for information. He seems to really love Spencer. Maybe we’re just in denial. We think the whole lesson of this show is that parents need to keep a better eye on their kids. We’ll see this show again in October!

Episode grade: A-

Pretty Little Liars - Single Fright Female

By JJ Duncan http://www.zimbio.com (Lucy Hale, Ashley Benson, Shay Mitchell) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

This was a good episode with lots of delicious flashbacks and just enough CeCe to please us. Let's get right to it. In Hanna’s room, Hanna hides her “open wound.” When Wren calls, Spencer asks Hanna what’s going on with her and “Downton Grabby.” Haha. Get it? Because he’s British. Does this mean Spencer is over him? Ted comes to tell Ashley that he found a thumb drive in the church with a video of Hanna on it. It’s the thumb drive that Jenna wanted kept secret. Hanna sneaks downstairs to take it, but her mom catches her. Hanna tries to convince her mom to get rid of the thumb drive so that the cops don’t move Mona away. Ashley doesn’t much care for Mona, so she’s in favor of more evidence against her.

At Ezra’s apartment, Aria is watching him get depressed over possibly ruining Maggie’s life. What if Ezra just went back to Maggie? How great would that be? Maggie, prepare to be the new Slut of Our Dreams. Come back to Ezra hotter and less pregnant than ever, and lure him away! Aria is always at Ezra’s place. It’s like Ella and Byron have just completely given up on her teenage daughter, letting her spend every waking (and probably sleeping) moment there. Great example for your little bro, Aria.

Of course Emily comes clean to Paige about the Nate kiss. There’s no way Emily could fail to be a saint for longer than an episode. Paige was cool about it, because she a) already knew and b) rationalized it so that she was convinced it was all about Emily missing Maya and not about actual feelings for Nate. Spencer wisely tries to talk Aria out of contacting Maggie, but Aria is all, “It’s MY relationship, Spencer.” Um, is that why you are always telling Spencer every detail? Spencer sees CeCe, who wants Spencer and her friends to help her with a fundraiser. CeCe sees Emily with Paige and asks Spencer what Emily is doing with “Pigskin.”

Words cannot describe how much we love that nickname. Oh Ali, Bitch of Our Dreams even in death. CeCe says that Paige and Ali were enemies. Ooof course they were. We get the first Ali flashback in a while. Those are always welcome. Ali has a bruise on her back and blames it on a “Pigskin” kicking her in soccer. Paige sure gets violent in sports. Ali vows revenge on Pigskin. Ali steals a shirt from Spencer because Spencer is boobless and it looks better on Ali. Ha, that’s how Ern steals her mom’s clothes that are flattering on people with hips. Ern’s mom is the hipless wonder.

Caleb and Hanna are in computer class, flirting over chat and discussing the thumb drive. No one needed to have the chats read out loud in voiceover though. Ugh. It would have been cuter without it, and God knows everyone who is watching this show should be able to read. Also, they didn’t even read all of the chat. Just parts of it. Jenna kicks Hanna off the computer. It’s her turn. Nate asks Emily out. Oh God, Nate. We know she’s pretty, but do you really think you’re gonna get some from Emily? Nate doesn’t take the rejection well, but few guys do. Guys, here’s what you say, “I appreciate you being direct, and I’d love to be friends.” Rephrase as you will, but keep it short and cool. Boom, done.

Arguing with the girl isn’t going to change her feelings. It’s just going to make things hurtful, awkward, and make you look like a chump. If you react in the suggested way, the girl will be impressed. Nate just talks about what a bitch Maya was and how she led guys on, just like Emily led him on. We weren’t digging Nate when he kissed Emily, getting to her through her grief over her dead girlfriend, but in one scene (this one), we’ve gone from “not digging” to loathing. Unadulterated loathing. For his face, his voice, his cloth- Sorry. That sort of thing happens to us a lot more than you guys would realize.

Spencer has all of the sudden remembered that Paige tried to drown Emily. Spencer talks to Emily about how crazy Paige is, but Emily isn’t digging the intervention. It’s so sad that Emily’s girlfriends keep being terrible, while Hanna and Spencer get these awesome love interests. Maya died, Samara left for a better show, and Paige is such a creeper. Still, she’s thinking, “Maybe this time, I’ll be lucky. Maybe this time she’ll stay. Maybe this time, for the first time, love won’t hurry away.” Anyhoo, someone is watching this conversation, but we don’t get to know who yet. Hanna goes up to Jenna while Jenna is snacking. Hanna: “That footage of you raping Toby is going to the police, but I had nothing to do with it, and you should just believe me, even though I’m not going to explain how it was found and how I know about this.” Jenna puts her sunglasses on.

Nate runs up to Hanna to ask her why Emily shut him down. “Um, Nate, she’s GAY.” We love Hanna so much. Hanna lets slip to Nate that Jenna was pretending to be blind when they were dating. Uh oh. We wonder what Jenna saw Nate doing. Nate, you’re doing nothing to cure our newfound hatred of you. First of all, he’s not wearing his glasses and he needs those to be cute. Second of all, he’s still being weird, angry, and creepy. His yell to Jenna was creeptastic. They really deserve each other. What is it about her that makes him want her? What is it about her that turns him pale? Something in her hair, so soft so fair so fin-. Sorry. Moving on.

Aria visits Maggie at work, where she teaches little kids. ARGH. Maggie is old, laying emphasis on how old Ezra actually is, even if guys age better. She’s played by 31-year-old Larisa Oleynik (Alex Mack and the girl everyone thinks is cute in 10 Things I Hate About You), who looks older than 31 because she has this really short hair that isn’t good for her face. Also, short hair tends to scare guys because of gender stereotypes and such. Not the Slut of Our Dreams. “But wait!” Maggie says to us. “I have something better than hot sluttiness. I have Ezra’s son! Boo ya.” Poooooor Ezria fans. A surprise illegitimate child is the ultimate TV heat killer. It’s like a fire extinguisher on TV love. Maggie named the kid Malcolm. Bleck.

Well, now we know why Paige is crazy. Ali drove her crazy. We get a flashback, courtesy of CeCe, of Ali writing secret love notes from Emily to Paige and then intercepting Paige’s lesbian reply. “I own you know,” Ali says, forcefully. Ali runs back to the car with Paige’s note and tells CeCe, “Drive Drive,” sounding scared. CeCe drives this point home to Spencer, telling her that Pigskin scared Ali. That flashback scene was incredible. We got to see Ali acting like a nervous wreck, a showdown, and Ali hanging out with CeCe, who seems to have been training her in bitchiness.

Emily asks Paige about Ali, and Paige denies knowing her. Paige tells Emily she shouldn’t trust her friends. After all, Emily trusted Mona, kind of. So then we had a thought. Remember how Maya had this obsessive boyfriend who wouldn’t leave her alone? The only evidence we have that Nate is Maya’s cousin is Nate telling Emily he was Maya’s cousin. He’s not acting like a cousin, and he was really offended on the behalf of the men Maya teased. He’s the obsessive boyfriend. You heard it here first. And THAT’S our new philosophy. Unless we’re wrong, in which case we never said it.

At Ezra’s apartment, Aria is moping on the couch and Wesley comes up to make nice. What the hell, Aria? Telling Wesley before you tell Ezra about his possible son? Bad move. But then again, you can’t expect a high school girl to be able to handle a relationship that just got this complicated, even if Aria has been acting a lot more mature this season. We want to comfort her. Mother isn’t here now (wrong things, right things). Who knows what she’d say? Nothing’s quite so clear now, fear you’ve lost your way, but you are not alone. Spencer is in a dressing room, texting Hanna, when ATTACK. That snake thing was pretty scary and great, especially when it was trying to bite Spencer. We would have screamed our lungs out. We loved when CeCe just went at it with a mannequin leg. She’s a bad ass. Can CeCe never leave the show, please? What a shocking change from her first episode, right?

Spencer and Hanna wonder whether Paige or Jenna set the snake in the box. Hanna’s phone rings and Spencer nearly yells, “Is that Wren?!” Please be getting jealous of this, Spencer, we beg of you. It’s Emily, and she is missing the knife from the Kahn cabin. Everyone except Aria goes to CeCe’s fashion fundraiser. CeCe tells Hanna to fix her hair and try on a dress. Dry shampoo! Product placement is hardly ever seen on this show. That’s a quality product though. It smells nice. Caleb meets Hanna in the dressing rooms and kisses her. Back at Ezra’s, Ezra gets home in time to see his girlfriend and brother making him a cake. He’s in a good mood because he called Maggie and everything seems cool with her. Wesley tells Aria that his mother probably paid Maggie to keep Malcolm a secret from Ezra.

Spencer and Hanna look through Paige’s purse at the fashion thing, trying to find the knife, when they are caught by Paige and Emily. Emily defends Paige and walks out with her. Uh oh. Spencer says Emily will get over it. Hopefully, because we don’t want a rift between the Liars. Back at Emily’s house, Paige tells Emily about her history with Ali. Alison bullied and hurt Paige pretty bad. Paige fought back until she realized what she was up against. She had no one to turn to. She was on her own, pretending Emily was beside her. All alone, she walked with her ‘til morning. (It’s a sickness). We felt for Paige here.

At Hanna’s house, Ashley Marin is looking great in a cute, sleeveless blue dress. Help your daughter with her fashions this season, Ashley! Ashley watched the thumb drive videos and then destroyed it, partly because there was stuff of her and Wilden on the drive that she didn’t want Ted to ever see. The doorbell rings and it’s Ted. Hanna covers for her mom, telling Ted that she destroyed the thumb drive so he can’t give it to the police. Ted says, “Well, I guess that’s that,” and takes Ashley out on their date. As it turns out, Spencer found something in Paige’s purse: Ali’s other earring. Spencer thinks Paige dug up the body and might even be A.

Spencer goes to Aria to share her suspicions and then we cut back to Emily’s house, where Paige and Emily are still sitting on the porch together. Paige leaves to wash her face, and Jenna walks up to Emily. Jenna: “I need to talk to you about your friend.” Then Jenna realizes someone is in the house and tries to leave. Emily follows her, asking questions, and Jenna says, “Be very careful who you spend time, with Emily. Very careful.” Jenna out. Paige goes back to the porch, sees Emily’s cell phone ringing, and declines a call from Spencer, smiling creepily. The episode ends with A at a jukebox, picking a song. Another A comes up to the first A. The first A hands the second A a pair of keys. Multiple As, all dress in black with black loves. Gotta love it. Next week looks insane!

Episode grade: B+

Pretty Little Liars - What Lies Beneath

By Carol Carol (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Hmm. Maybe it was our moods, but we found this offering a little dull, especially after the great episode last week. Ezra found ex-girlfriend Maggie in Delaware. Hanna and Emily find pictures of Maya at Noel’s cabin during the daytime. They go to the cabin and find a secret room behind a bookcase. Inside the room is a dirty mattress, Maya’s unused ticket to get out of Rosewood, and Maya’s duffle bag. The cabin door and the shutters slam shut. While the girls are trying to get out, Hanna cuts her leg. Outside the house, A has painted “I’m saving you for later” on the fence.

Hanna has to call Dr. Wren to stitch her leg up, and more sparks fly, even though Hanna makes it clear that the kiss “can’t happen again.” We bet it happens again. One of us kind of hopes it happens again. Hanna is with Caleb now, only they are keeping it a secret. If Hanna cheats on Caleb, we won’t be pleased. But we will understand. After Noel catches Spencer in the boys’ locker room, snooping, he sends her a hilarious email with an attachment that included security footage of his cabin the night Maya was murdered. We see Maya getting grabbed, and the video proves that Jenna, Noel, and Garrett didn’t kill her. Please, show, tell us who killed Maya so that they can become our favorite character.

Meanwhile, Ella is getting closer to the coffee shop owner (and we love that). Does Zack remind anyone else of Lee Pace? Aria didn’t do much in this episode except help her mom get closer to Zack and act coldly toward Ezra for the Maggie secret. Then we have Emily kissing Nate. Paige, once again having the worst timing ever, walks up and sees it. We thought Emily was gay.

If Emily isn’t gay now, we’re going to be annoyed. She’s been gay for three seasons and that’s not something you just instantly change because now the show has a cute black guy. We love the idea of Noel helping Spencer out. Noel might not be a bad guy for Spencer to go out with now that Wren might be taken by Hanna. He’s so weird though, seriously. Last week was better.

Episode grade: B-

Leeard completely disagrees with this assessment. She gives this episode an A+. SO MUCH STUFF HAPPENED! This episode should get an A based solely on that creepy kidnap room. Also, to continue to disagree with Ern, just because Emily kisses a guy doesn't mean that she isn't gay anymore. Or maybe she wasn't "gay" to begin with. Sexuality is fluid.