Drew and Astro Leave The X-Factor

We mourn for Drew. She was one of our favorites. That was a shocker. Melanie is better though.

The X-Factor De-Fluffed

Don't have time for a two-and-a-half X-Factor live show? Just watch all the performances along with a news recap here. Drew, Melanie, and Chris are still on it, so we are happy. Last night marked the first live show and the top 17 were whittled down to a top 12. Yikes!

Maybe there are no good people. Only good decisions.

Parenthood - “Nora”
Christina finally popped and also bonded with Crosby. The new baby’s name is Nora. Speaking of new babies. After spending a night over at Julia’s house, coffee girl realized that her son couldn’t be in better hands. Amber helps Max make up with Jabbar. Seth has fallen off the wagon and called Sarah for help. She finds him sitting, looking like he just got beaten up, in an alley. This might complicate her new relationship with Captain Morgan… The highlight for us was seeing Adam in those awful clothes. So funny. This was a good one.

Episode grade: B+

Prime Suspect - “Great Guy, Yet: Dead”
Jane was actually wrong about a suspect! A formerly rich, charming guy got into trouble and had to borrow money from the Russian mob. He openly cheated on his wife, but she wasn’t the one who set him up to be killed. It was a potential business partner. This guy was a listener and a lot of fun, so everyone liked him, making it hard to find suspects until they found a fingerprint. Yay for CSI. This one wasn’t as good as the episodes in the last two weeks. We’re still liking the show though.

Episode grade: B-

X Factor - Judges’ Houses Part 1
We are two seconds from dropping this show until the finale. It’s too long, and Simon said something about our favorite contestant, Drew, possibly being too young. If they dump Drew, we may dump the show.

Grey’s Anatomy - “Love, Loss, and Legacy”
Zola gets a bowel obstruction and receives medical care at Seattle Grace. Complete idiots Cristina and Alex (who are usually our favorite characters) decide to tell Meredith and Derek, even though there is nothing they can do and knowing could ruin the adoption for them. Zola recovers, but the social worker sees Meredith and Derek looking teary in an elevator, and her face tells us that she knows that they know. Great. Jackson’s mother, Dr. Catherine Avery, comes to town, bringing with her a groundbreaking surgery- a penis transplant. This show will not rest until we see a storyline about every penis-related surgery out there. Penis fish. Broken penis. Penis pump. Penis transplant.

Catherine Avery was fantastic. She could come on full time and be the new Dr. Bailey, because she’s like Bailey was in the first couple of seasons, only happier and more fun. Bailey has gotten annoying over the years. Bailey dumps her nurse boyfriend. Owen sees Cristina playing with Zola and gets depressed. Teddy throws a dinner party. Uptight April nearly ruins the penis surgery, but Mark, ever watchful of penis care, steps in and saves it. Catherine can tell that Mark still loves Lexie and that Jackson really doesn’t. We love her. It looks like Mark and Lexie are an endgame couple. Man, we love Lexie’s bangs so much.

Episode grade: B

Person of Interest - “Cura Te Ipsum”
A young doctor wants to kill the man who drugged and raped her sister, causing her sister to commit suicide. Reese and Finch agree that this will harm the young woman, and so they interfere. Reese talks to the woman and spends the last scene discussing whether he should kill the rapist. He has this discussion with the rapist, so that’s kind of cool. Sadly, the show ended the episode before we found out what Reese decided. What does this show think it is? Inception? Jeez. We wanted to know. We wanted Reese to kill the guy, since he truly sucked, but we sort of think that he didn’t. Maybe he just settled for scaring the man. Meanwhile, Detective Carter questions Finch (who she knows under a false name) after watching the tape of the previous episode’s robbery and seeing Finch talk to Reese.

Episode grade: B

X-Factor Top 32

This show is too long. We don’t have this kind of time. Just show us the singers and judging. The promo fluff is ridiculous. Anyone already watching is ALREADY WATCHING. The judges walking in slow motion, drama, and other stuff is just a waste of our valuable time. In a montage of the good singers, it seems like we have a lot of people who don’t suck. And, aww, the little rapper hugged Simon.

Here’s a rundown of who is left after boot camp. The links are to youtube videos of performances (either from boot camp or the main auditions). Our main complaint is that most of the girls’ voices are similar. Lots of thin-toned, second soprano belters with some jazzy riffs. Idol is better with the variety. Simon likes what he likes though.

If you don't want to watch all of the auditions and just want to jump into the top people's journeys, we've got vids for all of them.

Girls:
Caitlin Koch- Our favorite. What is she always doing with her legs though? Looks like a chicken dance that would fit in on Arrested Development.
Tora Woloshin- She has a decent voice, but we don’t really get her. Yet. Singing starts at 2:07.
Simone Battle- This girl made it through because she dressed slutty and looked good. Her voice is good, but we think her appearance and generic performance made Simon fight for her. Actual singing starts at 3:14, but if you haven't seen her, you should probably watch the whole thing.
Drew Ryniewicz- Runner-up pick. Great tone and only 14.
Rachel Crow- This girl’s voice is just as big as her personality. Definitely a cutie, and only 13. This is her boot camp performance of “If I Were a Boy.” We love her confidence.
Jazzlyn Little- An obvious pick for the top 32.
Melanie Amaro- She nailed every note in the Beyonce song.
Tiah Tolliver- Those lips are majestic. Nicole hates her though, haha.

Boys:
Brennin Hunt- This guy is like Edward Cullen trying to be Lestat, only it’s the light pop version. Simon just wants to hear the voice. So do we. He sounds like any other guy right now. We might end up liking him though, because he’s not horrible looking.
Brian Bradley- Stop looking at his mom. The kid has rhyming talent and the worst attitude of all time. Sounds like a rapper.
Skyelor Anderson- We’re not really digging his voice, because he has no power, and he has a shallow, nasally tone. But he’s a nice kid who has been cursed with a terrible name and is just trying to make the best of it. Go to 1:46 for the song.
Nick Voss- One of the most unoriginal things we’ve ever seen, but he’s an underdog, and those do well on these shows.
Tim Cifers- Meh
Phillip Lomax- Also not original or as good as the people he is trying to copy. Also, there’s no way a girl could sing this kind of retro music and make it on a show like this.
Marcus Canty- This might be Ern’s favorite of the guys.
Chris Rene- Leeard’s early favorite guy. His first audition was better, so youtube that if you haven’t seen it. But here’s a shorter performance video, in case you just need to see his face as a reminder.

Over 30s:
(First of all, 30 is YOUNG, and this category should be raised to 35.)

Elaine Gibbs- The grandmother wedding singer. Has a gospel-sounding voice.
Tiger Budbill- It was cute to see him and his wife crying at the end of his first audition, but he doesn’t have the strongest pipes or presentation.
LeRoy Bell- Meh.
James Kenney- start at 2:19. We also give him a “meh.”
Josh Krajcik- He’s growing on us.
Christa Collins- Go to 3:55. She has potential.
Dexter Haygood- HOW ON EARTH DID HE MAKE IT? He's got a good story, that's it.
Stacy Francis- Probably the best here, especially when she gets some voice lessons from the show.

Groups:
Stereo Hogzz- They seem like cool guys who love each other and work hard.
2Squar'd- Nahhhh. Maybe if someone else dresses them.
4 Shore- The bar for groups must be really low.
The Brewer Boys- Pretty cute, good voices.
Illusion / Confusion- They haven’t aired these guys yet, but they are pretty good. They definitely need some polishing though.
The Anser- These guys are pretty good.
Plus two groups comprised of contestants who'd previously competed as soloists

There's no one here that we are absolutely, 100% in love with, but it took a while for us to realize Haley was our girl on Idol last time, so maybe someone will emerge, grow stronger in the competition, and win us over.

Don't Cancel Prime Suspect Yet, Please

Person of Interest - "Ghosts"
We were snoring a bit here. This is a definite procedural and it’s feeling like one. We hear that we will be getting a Mr. Finch flashback where we get to see some of the story behind the machine’s creation, and we can’t wait for that. It’s time for an overarching plot or mystery to emerge to keep us coming back week-to-week.

Episode grade: C+

Prime Suspect - "Carnivorous Sheep"
Yeah, this is a procedural too, but the case was more interesting than the Person of Interest one, and Maria Bello has a lot more charisma than Jim Caviezel. Too bad the ratings are down, because this episode was better than the pilot, and we liked the pilot. This is the new cop show/procedural to watch.

Episode grade: B+

The X-Factor
Simon says that they are looking for “more than just a voice.” It’s “something else.” So far, this seems like just an excuse to pick poor vocalists based on looks, personality, and bravado. That’s probably why the contestants continue to underwhelm. However, they were better Thursday night. New Jersey also brought us more entertaining rejects. We loved Simon’s attitude about the show Jersey Shore, saying that when he saw it, he knew that he had to bring his show to New Jersey because he loves the people there and their sense of humor. That’s a joyful, nonjudgmental attitude we didn’t think we’d hear from Simon after all the Jersey hate.

Our favorites were the 12-year-old who rapped “Stop Lookin At My Mom” and the last girl, the 16-year-old from Cape Coral, FL, who sang the Mary J. Blige song. The young ones are bringing it. (Ern’s siblings went to the same high school.) We also liked Kelly, the hairdresser for a nursing home, because she had a nice tone. We agreed with Simon about Carrie Fletcher. She was not distinctive, but she seems smart enough to fix that.

The Vast Majority of Voters are Rooting for Alison, So How Is the All-Star Question Not Already Answered?

The X-Factor

The show dumped a slew of mediocrity on us again, with the exception of Drew, the Justin Beiber fan who took his “Baby” song and made it a jazz fest. That 14-year-old showed a lot of promise. We also enjoyed J. Mark Inman’s “Creep.” He’s horrible, but that was so awkward it was cool. Josh Krajcik’s “At Last” reminded us of American Idol’s Casey, only with a better voice. It was a little too raspy for one of us, because it reminded that blogger of “butt rock.” What’s butt rock? Creed. Creed is butt rock. But his performance was good, overall. Phillip needs to learn that we already had a Frank Sinatra.

The “For Sure” group needs to ditch the two members who keep going flat. We were astounded that the judges were so enamored with them. Finally, we loved watching Simon fight for the girl with the fabulous lips. When he sees something in someone, he’s sure and he’s rabid about it. We love him so much. Does anyone else think that Cheryl Cole was a stronger judge than Nicole? Or are we just bewitched by the accent? She was fired by Simon for “looking bewildered.” We disagree with that choice, but Nicole is a fine second. No one dropped their pants and made Paula throw up, so it’s already better than last week.

Episode grade: B-

America’s Next Top Model

Kristin Cavallari guest judged this episode. This blogger never watched Laguna Beach or The Hills but is willing to bet good money that the other blogger did (other blogger's note: duh I watched both Laguna Beach and The Hills. That's the easiest bet ever). From a first impression, Kristin seemed nice, smart, and articulate. Whatever she was in high school, she seems like a professional producer now. Mario Lopez interviewed the girls with “tough question,” and we didn’t think any of them were particularly tough. Alison got best photo (yay!) and Isis was eliminated. Her photo wasn’t good, but we aren’t sure if it was too soon for Isis to leave.

Isis looks better than most real women, and we admire her for putting herself out there. But off she goes. This is really mean of us to say, but we wonder who she is going to end up with? Like, who would marry her? Straight guys would likely balk and gay guys want a guy, not a woman. Maybe an open-minded lesbian? We hope it’s in the news, so we can see what happens with her. Man, WE should have been the ones to ask the tough questions.

Episode grade: B+

The X-Factor Week One

The X-Factor has great judges. We all know Paula and Simon. LA Reid certainly has the experience. We like that he seems to have some taste. He wants the contestants to move him, and if they don’t, he’s not shy about giving them a “no.” He seems to be harder than Simon on contestants. His zingers just aren’t as sharp. Give him time though.

One of us has loved Nicole ever since she saw her youtube videos playing Maureen in RENT. So what’s wrong with this show so far? It’s overlong, overhyped, and it didn’t give us any auditions that blew us away. Or that we even liked without reservation.

Nearly everyone totally sucked. Where are the good voices? The judges and crowd were going nuts over the most mediocre performances. We were confused. We sat through 160 minutes this week (not including commercials), and it seemed to be mostly fluff and duds.

There were a few that we almost liked. Melanie, the contestant who sang “Listen,” by Beyonce did the song proud. She wasn’t as good as either Beyonce or Charice, but it was on pitch and showed potential. What we liked better was her little sister’s face through her song. So cute and funny.

Ern got choked up during the 42-year-old mom’s story and song. Her man knocked her around, left her and her two kids, told her she was too old to be a singer when she was in her early 30s, and made her doubt that she was talented. Then she succeeded in blowing the judges away with some belted high notes. Leeard didn’t like her voice, but both of us hope that deadbeat was watching her prove him wrong.

Dallas’ rugby-playing Caitlin Koch proved that the judges aren’t all about the belters when it comes to females. She sang in a sweet, quiet voice full of nice tone, and the judges went nuts and put her through. We didn’t really like her performance, and thought her voice was average, but it’s nice to see the judges go for a pretty voice rather than just the girls yelling.

Finally, Leeard is obsessed with Chris Rene, the addict who sang his original son, “Young Homey.” Not only does he have a powerful story and a deal with Simon to stay clean, he has a decent voice. Ern remains unimpressed, but he was in both of our top three. This either shows that he is good or that everyone else sucked. The other thought that not only is he a pretty decent singer, but he's also a good songwriter. Also, Leeard's such a sucker for stories like that. When he said that it was the third best day of his life (behind his son's birth and the day he got sober), she teared up. Ern is jaded about addicts from watching too much Intervention.

The last audition of the week, Alexander’s (excuse us, Xander), was hilarious. We liked his cracks to Simon but are pretty sure that no one liked his attitude. The judges handled that just fine.

So far, this show is lacking what a singing show should have: People who can sing.