Once Upon a Time, Walking Dead, Revenge, and Dexter

By Kristin Dos Santos from Los Angeles, California, United States (Image:Prison Break Cast.jpg [1]) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Hello creatures. We've been having internet problems, but we're back.

Once Upon a Time- Tallahassee
Not only did Hurley's presence this week remind us of LOST, so did the episode title. One of those writers must have spent a lot of time in Tally...God knows why. Bleck. Go to Gainesville instead, readers. When Hurley thumped out as the giant, we cackled. There's nothing fearsome about that guy, even if they make him larger. We were impressed that Hook could climb the beanstalk. We didn't feel bad for him in the end. Supposedly, he will be released soon, and he was also being a total sexual harasser during the entire adventure. Emma is so stupid. She should have had Hurley hold Hook for a month, not ten hours. He's going to catch up and become a problem. We liked Henry and Aurora's identical scary dreams. Nothing like dark prophecy to spice up a fantasy.

We finally got the backstory on Henry's dad, Neal, who August convinced to abandon her for her own good. Neal really loved Emma! What was in the box?!! Is this show going to pull a Pulp Fiction and not tell us? We're pretty sure it was neither a soul nor gold. This episode was good for Emma's character development. We got to see why she is the way that she is (annoying). She was jilted, abandoned, and spent time in prison. They did a good job making Jennifer Morrison look younger. That's about as good as it's going to get. We are left to ponder who we ship Emma with: Hook, August, or Neal? We're thinking Hook would be the most interesting. Or Rumpy's son.
Episode grade: B

The Walking Dead- The Killer Within
No zombie baby, but there were major deaths this week. No one likes the wives on AMC (except for some people liking Megan Draper), so everyone should be happy that Lori is gone, right? We're really not. Her death was sad sad sad. Her speech to Carl almost got us tearing up. Rick's reaction was devastating. The first half of this episode was dull, but it ended like a finale. Heck yes. This season is doing everything it can to win us back. We liked the show starting to alternate between Andrea and the original group. Not a whole lot happened with Andrea and Michonne though. That was set up for later. Andrea is going to regret her little crush on the Governor. Is it a crush? Michonne is predictably smart. RIP T-Dog, who has been replaced by a new black man, Oscar. He seems cool. Carl having to shoot his mom's body was messed up. We're in a terrible mood from watching that, but we'll admit the episode was pretty good.
Episode grade: B+

Revenge- Illusion
Aiden and Amanda go to the Grayson wedding together. While Daniel dances with Amanda, Aiden and Ashley share a dance. Now, we know the normal viewer was watching Daniel regret the end of his relationship with Amanda, but since we are so focused on the new hottie, we sensed an odd closeness between Aiden and Ashley. They are both British. They are both sneaky as hell. They are totally in cahoots. We know it. That's what's going down. Because you know this show wouldn't spend so much time on boring Ashley unless she has a secret of her own. Aiden tries to get Amanda to trust her again, and looks like he's going in for a kiss. He's all "I've changed." She tells him to leave. Is she a real person? With, like, a libido and everything? Doubtful.
Episode grade: B

Dexter- Do the Wrong Thing
When did LaGuerta turn into a brilliant cop? So inconvenient for everyone and WE LOVE IT. Oh Quinn...you had other options here. Helping Isaak get released was a new low, but at least it was to rescue Nadia from human trafficking. We hate human trafficking. Deb dating a true crime writer is also a dumb move. This episode suffered because Dexter's investigation into Hannah took too long. We knew she was a killer already. We didn't need to watch Dexter confirm it for that long. Hannah kills people rather than get attached to them. That's a new spin on intimacy issues. We've got intimacy issues of our own, but damn...they aren't that rough. We're not sure if we ship Hannah and Dexter, but we're just so happy Dexter's love interest this season isn't Deb.
Episode grade: B