Bones - The Body in the Bag recap/review

Bones is back! We know a lot of readers are ecstatic after the mildly long wait. We have mixed feelings about this episode. On the one hand, we liked it. On the other hand, it sort of made us like Hannah, too. We are ducking, because we can feel the rage coming at us. But come on! She was nothing short of “cool” (unrealistically so) Thursday night and handled the Brennan confession of last year swimmingly. And she’s so pretty. We know she won’t be around forever, so it’s starting to feel ok to enjoy her a little while she lasts. Also, the episode totally ruined buying fake purses and scarves in Chinatown, New York City for us. Rude.

The episode opened with a whorish guy walking through a swanky apartment, calling for his lady-love. He realized that the bedroom shower was on, took off his clothes, and got in to try to join his lover. The water was scalding hot and the guy slipped. He fell on the shower floor and came face-to-face with…you guessed it…a body. And a particularly disgusting body, even for Bones. It was a light beige color, and the decomposition was helped by the scalding water, which created little holes in the remains. Ewww.

Cut to our main characters. Sweets was on a gym treadmill. Booth came up and told Sweets that he was feeling bad about keeping Brennan’s love confession from Hannah. Sweets supported Booth’s decision to be honest with his girlfriend, like a good shrink, and he suggested that this was so hard for Booth because he still had feelings for Dr. Brennan (DUH). Booth got annoyed and mashed some buttons on the treadmill, forcing Sweets to run really fast. That’s what you get for being right, Sweets. Hannah was confused and a little saddened by the news. She didn’t know how she was going to act around Brennan, because she was sure that if she didn’t say something, Brennan would sense that there was a secret between friends. One of us has to wonder: would she though? She's been quite obtuse with Angela before. So Hannah dodged Brennan and their plans to hang out until she had a game plan.

The team was called to the nasty shower. Hodgins made the drain spit remains up on Cam, Brennan, and Booth, which was funny and gross. The apartment belonged to a rich girl who dealt in fake purses. The body had been a Chinese girl who sold the rich girl the fake purses. Booth questioned a lot of people: the leader of the fake purse distribution ring in town, the dead girl’s ex, the rich girl’s boyfriend (who was filming her cheating on him with a teddy bear cam in her apartment), and the rich girl herself. Booth and Sweets watched the footage together. (Sweets: “Does this fall under work or porn?” Booth: “There’s an overlap.”) After some technological help from Angela, the Teddy Bear cam revealed that an agent who was investigating the counterfeiters had slept with the dead girl. This marked the first time in a long time that one of us was surprised by a Bones mystery. The mystery was pretty interesting, and who knew that buying fake purses helped really bad people and aided child labor? It does: http://www.stuffdaily.com/how-buying-fake-designer-handbags-can-harm-you-and-impact-on-our-economy/

Dr. Clark Edison helped with the case. You remember the guy who thought it was inappropriate to have drama and personal relationships going on at work? Well, he got a new girlfriend who has convinced him to be less uptight. We saw the friendlier, warmer, more prying version of Edison this week - and we also learned that he used to work for NSA. Awesome. Just for one summer, but that was enough to freak Hodgins out. Angela, still pregnant, was creeped out by the fact that Hodgins lives in his grandfather’s and father’s old house, so Hodgins bought her the rich girl’s nice apartment. While most people would hate that place, because of all the porn and murder and death, Angela was touched. Hodgins and Angela gave themselves an ultrasound and admired their growing child. They are going to be SUCH good and unique parents. And we wish we would get to see the scene where Hodgins explains his Angela Face Tattoo to the kid in a few years.

After hearing from Angela that Hannah is probably avoiding Brennan, Brennan confronted her. Hannah confessed that she knew about Brennan’s confession and that she understood. The two made plans to get drinks and that stuck. Brennan told Hannah that she was going to move on. As they laughed together at the bar (at Brennan calling the bartender “barkeep!” Lame.), they saw a guy looking in their direction. Hannah pointed out that a guy was looking at Brennan. Brennan replied, “I am not surprised. That’s happens a lot. I AM quite beautiful.” While we agree that Brennan’s face is beautiful, we are not so sure that her current haircut doesn’t completely ruin her. So we decided, in real life, that the guy would be checking out Hannah. Turns out, we were half right. The guy was interested in buying both girls drinks. They told the perv to get lost, laughed, and ordered more drinks.

Is there any way to get rid of Hannah without killing her? Because we don’t want there to be a long grieving period on the show before Brennan and Booth can finally get together for good. As one astute reader pointed out, it is going to be tough to have the show try to force us to grieve Hannah for a long, drawn-out period. The show needs to come up with another way to get rid of Hannah.

Episode Grade: B+

Modern Family - Caught in the Act recap/review

Alex, Haley, and Luke tried to bring their parents breakfast in bed on Phil and Claire’s anniversary and accidently walked in on their parents having sex. The three kids wanted to escape, not talk about it, and just forget about the whole thing. But, of course, Phil and Claire wanted to talk to them about it and make sure they were ok. Phil even had a few jokes prepared for the occasion. In the end, the kids got Phil and Claire a lock for their bedroom door as a gift. Unfortunately, the gift made a loud clicking sound when locked, and the kids were alerted to when their parents needed to lock the door.

Gloria and Jay jokingly typed up an email to Claire about how controlling Claire is when she is planning events. They accidently sent it to Claire and had to drive over to the Dunphy home to take care of the situation. There was a sitcom-y misunderstanding where Jay and Gloria thought Claire was upset about the email when she was really upset about the sex thing. The conversation got unintentionally dirty on Gloria’s part, and that was pretty funny. Gloria realized that Claire hadn’t checked her email yet, and Gloria managed to get to Claire’s computer and delete the email.

Mitchell and Cameron wanted to get a reservation at a popular new restaurant, so they set up a play-date with the woman who owned it. While Lily and the woman’s son played, Mitchell and Cameron chatted with the restaurant owner. It seemed that they were going to get what they wanted when the woman got a call, yelled at the person on the phone, and then had to leave to take care of something at the restaurant. Cam spilled some strawberry juice on the woman’s expensive rug. When she got back, Mitchell freaked and blamed her son. The woman started yelling that her preschooler was allergic to strawberry and was about to stick him when our “heroes” fessed up. Needless to say, they did not get their reservation.

We liked the Dunphy’s situation this week, the kids’ reactions, and the way the parents handled it. That plotline made the episode good. We were less crazy about the Gloria misunderstanding, and Mitchell and Cam have seen funnier plots. There were LOTS of good lines though. It was also sweet how the kids stopped to think that it was great that their parents were still having sex and not divorced like their peers' parents. That's true, kids. Your parents are dorks, but they love each other.

Episode Grade: A-

American Idol--January 19th review

General thoughts on the show
One of us isn’t a huge Idol fan. She admits that half of this show is awesome, but the other half is nauseating, too commercial, cheesy, infuriating, unfair, stupid, overblown, too PC, and contrived. (The long opening introducing the new judges and having them walk in slow motion fell in that latter half). Most of the show doesn’t feel real. Some of the judgings are real, and that’s why that is such a popular part. We all saw the performances, so the judges fool no one if they don’t offer to-the-point, honest critiques. Also, some of the performances are real. It depends on the emotion, the talent, and the person performing. We have to think that most people are so nervous up there that we don’t get the full effect of what they would really be like if they were just performing from the heart. To be on national TV, on such a popular reality show, would take the legs out from under a lot of sensitive, intuitive artists. (Case-in-point: Rachel, the first audition that went through. Shockingly gorgeous tone almost ruined by goat vibrato that probably comes from nerves. She looked like she was about to pass out.) Also, they aren’t performing their own songs. Throw in the makeovers, at it can start feeling a little packaged. Idol goes for youth and looks over talent most of the time too. What’s with the age limit? Give old people a chance! But one of us swallowed the bile and sat down to watch this (long) premiere episode, and after the initial hyping of season 10, it settled down and became watchable. The show has calmed down. Even the segments where they show contestant sob stories seemed more down-to-earth. And it must be doing something right, because the ratings are insane (down this season so far, but still huge). Even one of Ern's law professors mentioned this episode in class today. He thinks that it's too nice now. We disagree with him.

The judges
First, let’s talk about the new judges. Steven Tyler is CRAZY. In a good way (sometimes). Leeard didn’t like the way he sometimes would sing with and over the people auditioning though, and the way he's a total creeper. Leeard has never liked J-Lo, and Ern has never had an opinion on J-Lo. But Ern thought that J-Lo was great so far on Idol. She was sweet, but not wishy-washy. She gave some solid advice. She was like a sane version of Paula. She was also the fan favorite. Most of the people auditioning were star-struck being in her presence. We were disappointed that she wasn’t the mean judge (we guess that's Steven Tyler now), and she even gave one girl a hug before her audition, because the girl was freaking out. But the niceness seemed genuine. Ern thought that both of these two judges brought some fun and life back into the show. Also, Steven Tyler literally BARKED at Randy because Randy says “dawg” so much. Win. The judges may not be mean enough for those who miss Simon, but they are FUNNY. No one was going to replace Simon and no one should try to copy him.

Some remarks on the singers so far:
The third girl, Kensie, sounded like she was imitating other singers, rather than having her own sound, which is something we know Simon hated. We really liked the Puerto Rican girl from New Jersey. We were stunned that she was able to sing that well after crying over J-Lo. We loved the confidence she had in her curvy body too. Robbie (the guy that spent some of his childhood in a wheelchair) had one of the biggest mouths we have ever seen. By the sound of his decent-but-not-amazing voice, he should be doing the singing voices for male leads in Disney cartoons. That’s not a diss, that’s just how he sounded. Like Aladdin. We loved the girl that sang like a Broadway star. Showtune popstar? Liza Minelli meets pop? That would work! No joke, Leeard wants to be friends with her. We thought she wasn’t going to get in, because J-Lo was so adamant about her not being right for pop when she was begging. We can’t wait to see Steven Tyler “personally work her into something good,” if he doesn’t go do some drugs and forget about his promise to mold her…Oh come on, you know that man’s done some drugs. He's admitted it. Leeard really liked the girl with the throat cancer dad, but Ern thought her voice was harsh and not beautiful, just loud and on-key. A lot of the girls went for power over beauty. Most of the white girls tried to sound like they were black. But hey, they’ve been watching ten years of American Idol, and that’s what makes it in the initial auditions for females. Then, once they get to Hollywood, it’s the people with character in their sounds who make it.

The Freaks
It was nice to see the “freaks” not embarrassed. While Simon’s shutting them down was sometimes funny, it gave the show a biting vibe that sometimes seemed too cruel. We miss him, but the new judges are polite and to-the-point when they dismiss people. It’s classier. But a lot of the freaks aren’t serious, you know? For instance, remember Mary Roach from years past? She was a comedian. We think (and hope) the burping guy and the Asian guy who sang Miley Cyrus were joking. A lot of people just roll down there to have some fun and check things out (believe me, this blogger knows). The worst singer had to be the girl with the accent, from the Ivory Coast. We couldn't even look at her.

One girl we don’t know about yet:
The positive Pollyanna 16-year-old near the end, wearing pink with flowers, and dressing like a lady. Very good voice, but can that personality be for real? If it is, we dig it, but we wonder if, after a while, it would get annoying.

We think we’ve discovered the formula for anyone who wants to make it to Hollywood. Obviously, you need to be about to carry a tune and sing on-key. If you are a guy, you need to have a nice tone. That’s not necessary for girls as long as you’re LOUD. So, you need a good song in your belting range. Also, you have to have THE LOOK. This is not always true, but in general, yes. Be young and pretty and pick a style box and dress for it. You can dress slutty, play the nerd card, look like a rocker, look cute/innocent/wholesome, whatever. When in doubt, go with a costume or something flashy. Also, the show is looking for you to have a story. Because, let’s face it, you know someone in your town who sings better than Lee DeWyze or Ruben Studdard. This is not an honest talent search; it’s a reality show and it’s looking for ratings and to entertain.

Pure Laziness + Crazy Day = This

Southland recap:
http://www.afterelton.com/tv/recaps/southland/303

V recap:
http://www.ology.com/screen/v-recap-laid-bare

As for what we thought, Southland was good and V was better than last week, but still not good.

Southland: B, V: C

We will be back to writing our own tomorrow.

Ricky Gervais Should Know Better Than to Mess with the All-Powerful, Glitzy Stars of Hollywood

Ricky Gervais trashed Angelina Jolie, Charlie Sheen, Hugh Hefner, Mel Gibson, God, Tom Cruise (and the list goes on) last night when he hosted the Golden Globes. But the joke that got him in the most trouble was when he made fun of Philip Berk, the current head of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA for short). 'Ricky will not be invited back to host the show next year, for sure,' a member of the HFPA tells me, adding that Gervais' relentlessly mean shtick could have even larger consequences. 'For sure any movie he makes he can forget about getting nominated. He humiliated the organization last night and went too far with several celebrities whose representatives have already called to complain.'"

—PopEater columnist Rob Shuter

First of all, celebrities can't take hits to their images in the form of jokes? They expose themselves to that....by being celebrities (and by being ridiculous for the most part). If Ricky Gervais went too far, then how much trouble is Joel McHale (The Soup) in?

Second, it's not like he joked about things we weren't already thinking about and that we weren't already aware of. The jokes would not have been funny if they weren't true. God DID make Ricky an atheist. The Tourist DID suck. Tom Cruise IS gay. (Just kidding!!!!!!!) But you know what we mean. You can say, "Well the celebrities' reps have a right to complain because blows to their image could mean blows to their career and loss of revenue." Sorry, but Charlie Sheen brought those jokes on himself by his own actions. And his Hugh Hefner jokes were right on.

Third, we're sure Ricky is weeping into his pillow at the thought of never getting a Golden Globe or going back to that rigged, shallow ego-fest. (sarcasm)

Doesn't anyone have a sense of humor anymore? (SOME of actors do http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/showbiz/2011/01/17/bts.gg.backstage.ricky.gervais.cnn.html)
The man was hilarious. As Ricky himself said, "If they didn't want me, they shouldn't have hired me." He's going to be himself. He's not going to kiss celeb butt or worship them. It's not like they are high samurai to be honored or something. He wasn't rude. It was just fine. And his fake feud with Steve Carell is golden.

If you missed it, here's some of his Globes material from last year (after that, what did they expect this year?):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwH0HfbYHlM
AAAAnd from the offending year (last Sunday)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_MjpTrSq5s&feature=related

Being Human pilot review

One of us really wasn’t expecting to like this. First of all, it’s on that SyFy network that we almost never watch (no offense to anyone who does). Second, it’s YET ANOTHER remake of a British show, and we already have enough of those this season. Third, it’s about a werewolf, a ghost, and a vampire who live together and try to act human. Sounds like a lame, cheesy, geeky snore, right?

Well, hop on over to hulu and watch “There Goes the Neighborhood Part 1” and be surprised. We can’t wait for the next episode. It’s a fast-moving, entertaining show, so far. It made us care pretty quickly, already has some villains lined up, isn’t afraid to show a little blood, and has gotten into the plot fairly quickly for a 40-minute pilot. It even left us feeling the suspense. Maybe we should give all of the credit to the source material, but this is much better than we thought it would be, which is good enough for a pilot.

Pilot Grade: B

And out of the three new shows that aired Monday night, this is the one to which we will return next week. If we hear, via word of mouth, that Skins gets better, we will check that out again too. But that won’t be for a few weeks, surely. We’re pretty much done with Harry’s Law.

Harry's Law pilot review

The Good: Kathy Bates is awesome. Her character is hilarious. It’s sort of a Dr. House of lawyers, only she’s not quite as brilliant as he is yet. She quit patent law, because it is boring (word), and became a defense attorney pretty much overnight. The show is funny, the characters are cute, there’s a nice sort of whimsy, and the show gets you to root for criminals easily. Plus, Brittany Snow sells shoes out of the law office.

The Bad: If you know anything about the law, the rules of evidence, courtroom procedure, judges, lawyers, criminal law, or trials, you will not be able to watch this show without being pulled out of it by common sense. It is outlandish, to say the least. Ern (the blog’s law student) thought of sending the pilot to some of her professors to give them a good laugh. We're pretty sure you don't have to be a law student, lawyer, professor, or paralegal to notice this. It really takes some of the cuteness out when you realize how little in that show would actually slide by in real life. And there’s only been one episode! Also, this show likes to get on its soapbox about the poor, minorities, and criminals. Although we agreed with most of what Kathy Bates (Harry) said about the drug trade and drug criminals, not everyone will, and the blatant sermonizing will annoy a lot of people. ESPECIALLY since, in real life, she would not have been able to say those things when and where she said them. COURTROOMS HAVE RULES, PEOPLE. Also, the show is full of clichés and it's all really heavy-handed.

Bottom Line: Turn off your brain and turn on your funny bone, and you might be able to make it through this one. Not recommended though.

Episode grade: C-

Skins pilot review

Well, it’s one of the best things on MTV right now. We’ll give it that.

But even though this is going to make us sound like total killjoys, we weren’t feeling the subject matter. It made drugs and casual sex in high school look extremely glamorous. Now we don’t know about you guys, but in high school, we didn’t know how to wipe our asses properly (ok, we knew THAT, but you get the point. Looking back, we were dumb), and we certainly weren’t ready for sex. Is anyone’s sex life in high school glamorous? We’re not feeling a show about sex that gives an “everyone’s doing it” message to teens and furthers the old cliché that it’s shameful to be a virgin. Yeah, we loved Sex and the City, but that was for grown-ups. Also, the heart and quality and humor in that show made up for it.

We don’t need more teen pregnancies (due to kids thinking that they should just go around rooting each other as soon as they get the urge.) Shoot, forget that. Innocence and lack of a broken heart are valuable things. You have to protect your emotional health when you are young. And guys who just go for the physical thing and probably wouldn't get hurt, you have to protect your humanity and not turn into a low-grade Tucker Max knock-off. MTV just wants money. It doesn’t care. According to the ratings, millions of young people tuned in for more messages that, if they listen, are just going to end up making them feel more insecure and empty. Sorry, but no teen should be wandering the streets after a bender, shoeless in the winter, doing a walk of shame all the way home. They are babies. Is MTV trying to shake things up and be controversial? Sorry, but American Pie did this first, and it was funnier. None of the things in this show were new. Also, the teens’ behavior wasn’t authentic to how most American teens are. Kids don’t act like that. Most of them are shyer. It’s like “teens exaggerated.”

Also, for most of the episode, this show featured lots of teens with humor and boldness, but little heart. Kids don’t have the cynical hearts of critics. They won’t care about how good the tone of the show is and how modern it is if they don’t have someone to root for. Some heroes. So if Skins is going to thrive, the show has to plug some more soul into the sex fest. It needs to be funnier, sweeter, and smarter, or once the shock wears off, there will be nothing left. Quality can overcome subject matter for us. We watch the kids on Glee get frisky, Dexter kill people, and people doing all that they do on Boardwalk Empire. But those shows have other things going for them, so we're cool with them.

There were some fun and funny moments in Skins, and the show flew by. It was easy to watch. And we LOVED how the high-schoolers actually looked like they were in high school. Well, a high school for models, but still. They looked 17-ish, and that’s more than we can say for most teen shows. If you can get past the subject matter and are solid enough in where you stand in your own decisions regarding sex, this show might be a keeper in the future, once characters actually develop and the makers stop trying to be controversial.

For now, it’s a regular old C

Also, maybe we will make decent parents one day....it seems we have at least one lecture under our belts.

Update: Watched the British version of this episode on Instant Netflix, and it was just like this episode, only better and the kids had British accents. We are going to keep watching that, rather than wait for this show to come out week-by-week. If you have Instant Netflix, that's what we'd recommend.

Pretty Little Liars - Know Your Frenemies recap/review

This episode was as good as this show usually is. It has replaced The Vampire Diaries as our guiltiest guilty pleasure. Everyone is starting to realize that TVD is the bomb, so we are getting made fun of less for that one. Tonight’s episode confirmed some long-running suspicions, but it also featured way too much Aria and Ezra, who need to die, immediately. Where are A and her car when you actually want her to run somebody over?

Noel told Aria’s brother Mikey that there was a rumor going around that Mr. Fits was dating a student. Aria heard this news at the table, in front of her father. For a moment, it seemed like she was going to spill the beans, but that was just the show toying with us again. Noel kept asking Mr. Fitz for a good grade. Because high school grades are so super important and it would be the highest dishonor to give one to an undeserving kid---much more dishonorable than engaging in a romance with an underage girl, Mr. Fitz refused to give Noel the grade. We hope you caught the sarcasm, because those last few lines are dripping with it. Rather than give Noel the grade, Mr. Fitz was willing to quit his job before he was outed and leave town (and Aria). Aria and Mr. Fitz were all sad and lame. We were happy, because this plotline is annoying, gross, unrealistic, and probably the only thing dragging down the show at this point.

But A came through for the girls, for once, and had Noel framed for cheating (stealing tests), so now the principal won’t believe anything he says, and Mr. Fitz got to stay. We really hope that Aria and Mr. Fitz get caught, he goes to jail, and Aria hooks up with just about anyone else. When an older guy has to date a girl in high school, he is a creeper. No exceptions. No show can romanticize that enough to make us forget it.

Emily’s mom saw Maya and Emily playing footsy AGAIN and freaked out. Maybe this woman isn’t a homophobe. Maybe the secret she represses is that she is really weirded out by footsy. If so, we feel ya, Emily’s mom. Can’t they just hold hands and kiss? Why do they have to throw their footwork into our faces. Emily’s mom went through Maya’s bag and found pot in it, which she did not like. So Emily’s mom hates pot and footsy, two of the most harmless things in the world. She informed Emily’s dad and Maya’s parents. Maya’s parents weren’t fans of the drugs and arranged to send Maya to a camp for three months. Spencer, Aria, and Hanna arranged one last night of romance for Emily and Maya. They went upstairs, and, bathed in candlelight, looked into each other’s eyes, swayed, and caressed each other’s faces. There might have been a few…gasp…hugs! This is the tamest lesbian couple ever. But we guess it is age appropriate. Also, has Maya always been that pretty? Is it the new hair and the makeup?

Hanna’s leg healed (that was fast) and A started taunting her. A sent her a message saying that if she wanted to get her mom’s money back, she had to go to this bakery and ask for “Hefty Hanna’s order.” It was a bunch of cupcakes with pig faces on them. A said that she had to sit down and eat every one. A jock-guy who is friends with Noel saw her eating them and said, “Oink oink.” We wish we had an A in our lives to get us chocolate cupcakes. Mmmm. Did A find Jesus or something? Because that’s the second nice thing she did in this episode. But Hanna looked miserable. Apparently, it brought back old memories of when Alison made her throw up after she ate in order to lose weight. Hanna resisted the urge to throw up this time. A left Hanna a couple of hundreds in the bakery bathroom to reward her, but A didn’t give Hanna all of the money yet. Note to the ladies: Bulimia doesn’t work. It just kills you, ruins your teeth, and ruins your digestion. Statistically, people who binge and purge are usually at an average weight, not super skinny. This is because the body only purges 13% of the calories (according to the university Ern and Leeard attend). Not. Worth. It. Ok, PSA over.

Toby is so hated in the town that people write mean things on his locker, say mean things to him in the street, and even little children run from him on the sidewalk (that was hilarious). Spencer felt bad for him, but she didn’t tell the agent who was looking for another suspect her suspicions about Ian. Spencer found out that Ian and Alison were both at the Hilton Head golf resort right before Alison was killed, even though Ian and Alison lied about being there together. Spencer got a message from A saying that Melissa only married Ian to give him an alibi for Alison’s murder. Melissa, meanwhile, was walking around, talking about how wonderful life and marriage are, and saying that she and Ian are going to start having children right away. Ok, even if Ian wasn’t a murderer (probably), that would be gross, because both he and Melissa are icky.

The episode ended with A sending them the rest of Alison’s “you know you want to kiss me” woods video. It showed that Ian was the older guy she was with (and talking to). Then we heard Alison choke (off camera), fall, and all we could see after that was her hand clutch the dirt and then go still. While the girls watched the video, someone watched them through the window (presumably A). They chased the peeping tom, but did not catch him/her.

So it looks like Ian is the killer. That’s not very exciting. We're hoping there is some other twist or that Ian didn't do it.

We would give this an A+ if it weren’t for stupid Mr. Fitz and even stupider Aria. Wear enough makeup to school every day, Aria? Jeez.

Episode Grade: B+

Watch it on hulu

How I Met Your Mother - Last Words recap/review

During this episode, we don’t know if the comedy got in the way of the serious grief plot or if the grieving got in the way of the comedy. We didn’t really know whether to laugh or to be serious. It was probably the best this show could have done with a serious plotline, we guess. In the end, seriousness and schmaltz won out, for us anyway. We were looking forward to this episode a lot to see how the show would take Marshall’s dad dying and advance the plot with it. Turns out, we could have predicted it if we really thought hard. First of all, they have cast John Lithgow to play Barney’s dad (congrats Barney, your dad is super creepy, yet awesome). Yes, Barney is finally ready to meet his father. Lots of daddy stuff in this episode and also some cheesy moments. Oh LOST, we’ve missed you….wait.

The episode took place in Minnesota, where all of Marshall’s friends had flown for the funeral. Lily tried to help Marshall’s mom, but Marshall’s mom still hated her. Fortunately, yelling at Lily released a lot of the mom’s tension, and she was able to eat and sleep. Marshall’s mom thanked Lily, in the end, realizing that Lily was purposefully giving her just what she needed. Robin brought a bag of vices, just in case Marshall needed an escape - a purse with drinks, pills, firecrackers, bad movies, (nude) playing cards and more. She and Ted likened Robin to Mary Poppins - another fun bag lady with drugs in her purse (Robin’s explanation for the fun fantasy trip in the movie). All Marshall needed from the bag was a phone charger…and later, Crocodile Dundee III.

Ted and Barney tried to make Marshall laugh by finding internet videos of people getting hit in the nuts on their smartphones. That would have worked on one blogger’s sister, but it didn’t work on Marshall. Then Barney kicked Ted in the nuts (“Live theatre is always better!”), but Marshall completely ignored that. A funeral is not the time, boys. However, if they had played “nut ball,” perhaps it would have worked. Nut ball is when two guys sit far apart with their legs spread and pass a ball back-and-forth. Preferably a small, hard ball. Each of the guys tries to hit the other square on the nuts with each throw, and neither guy is allowed to block it. This blogger has seen this played, and it is a pretty good laugh.

The reverend had to leave and left his son to do the service. Marshall was upset, because this son bullied him in school, even though he is about half Marshall’s height. The reverend left a note that the family should reflect on the father’s last words to them. Marshall’s brothers and mother had wonderful final memories of the family patriarch, but Marshall remembers his father saying things like, “Plane food is ass” and making racist comments. As he struggles to remember everything his father said on their last day together, he finally remembers that his dad told him, “Rent Crocodile Dundee III. It still holds up.” Marshall accepts this as good last words from his father. Not great and not as touching as the last words his brothers and mother got, but acceptable. Barney decided that last words were overrated and most famous ones were probably made up. He thought Nathan Hale (historical figure) must have actually talked about peeing himself in fear of death. A flash to Barney’s imagination showed Nathan Hale (Barney dressed up as Nathan Hale) saying these words. Neil Patrick Harris sure does a good impression of Bill Compton on True Blood.

Once Marshall’s phone was charged, he saw that he had a voicemail from his father. He didn’t want to listen, because the real last words might be worse than the ones about the movie. But during the funeral, where his mother and brothers shared their perfect last conversations, Marshall went outside to listen. Sadly, the phone call was a mere pocket-dial, and all Marshall could hear was the fuzz of a phone rustling around in his dad’s pocket. He put the pocket-dial on to show his friends while he starts raving at God, questioning why his father had to die and leave just this message. Finally, his dad’s voice came onto the message, startling everyone. His father noted that he had pocket-dialed his son. Then his dad said that he and Marshall’s mother had a great time visiting Marshall and that he loved Marshall. Marshall reflected in awe, “My father’s last words for me were ‘I love you.’” (Leeard cried). Then his dad ruined it by talking about foot fungus. Marshall ignored that as well as he had ignored Ted getting hit in the nuts. He went back inside to talk at the funeral, but he didn’t share his father’s real last words with the crowd, preferring to keep them between himself and his closest friends.

After the funeral, Marshall left his friends in a room and said, “If I never come back, my last words to you guys are that I really really love you guys. And now I’m going to take a deuce.” Ted, Robin, and Lily each called their fathers to have a good conversation….just in case. And Barney called his mother to ask to meet his dad.

Mildly sweet, midly amusing, a nice balance and handling of the topic, but ultimately, not totally memorable unless you feel like you need to call your dad.

Episode grade: B-

The Golden Globes - Commenting Live

We're not Ricky Gervais fans. He was good on The Office, but he always seems to act so...superior. His movie about lying was super offensive and patronizing too. Good digs at The Tourist though. Useless movie....And we also liked the Sex and the City poster joke. Samantha didn't even look like herself. And good Tom Cruise dig, especially the part about the lawyer. YES Hugh Hefner IS The Walking Dead.

--Mind changed. We are Ricky Gervais fans.

--Wait, how dare he insult Hurley.

--Not Scarlett's best hair. Like the dress though.

--Predictable win for Christian Bale...now let's get this man an Oscar. He's done enough good stuff to get one, finally.

--Is that Christian Bale or a drunk, British Jesus impersonator?

--Julianna Marguiles is so pretty.

--Elizabeth Moss, on the other hand, busted.

--Congrats to Katey. That dress color is a little loud though. And congrats to hatts, who rooted for her

--Trend we hate: Guys and their hats at these shows. Geoffrey Rush, it's creepy. And we say that with love.

--Ok, we've really got to stop talking about fashion.

--Stop talking, Katey, that's the music you hear. It's telling you that you're done.

--The fashions!!!! Did Sandra Bullock and Scarlett J use the same designer? http://awards.omg.yahoo.com/photos/133-2011-golden-globes-arrivals?nc#OmgPhoid=1

--Helena Bonham Carter looks crazy. We hope she wins just so she can accept the award in that dress.

--Dear Julianne Moore, redheads shouldn't wear that shade of pink.

--Carlos? That's a surprise. We don't like that pick. Who even saw that?

--One blogger can't understand people when their accents are that heavy. The other blogger is officially in love.

--Chris Colfer. Another predictable pick. Awww, he looked so cute when they announced his name. (The other blogger doesn't think it was that predictable).

--He does a good job. He deserves it. Lea Michele is about to lose it, lol.

--Sweet speech, Chris. We love you. He's one of the youngest members of the Glee cast, too.

--We know that we mainly cover TV, but we are actually way more curious about the movie categories, so we may stay on here for those as well

--Easy A was better than most of these "best comedy" nominees

--Who was that creeper.....?

--Mila, we know you are sexy without you having to make that face.

--Dexter, why is your hair brown and your beard red? Drinking the blood of your victims? And please, please, anyone but Jon Hamm.

--And Steve triumphs over the uggo factor!!!

--Steve Buscemi was gracious, but uninteresting.

--If it couldn't be The Walking Dead, at least it was Boardwalk Empire.

--The nerds inside us wish LOST won though (or was nominated at all).

--A Brad and Angie shot...can the world please be over them already?

--Leeard is so in love with The Social Network that she saw it multiple times and then bought it on DVD the day it came out. If it does not win BLiza Minnelest Motion Picture, Drama, Leeard will be disgruntled.

--We would do Alec Baldwin over Marc Antony any day

--Christina Aguilera really had to lose weight for that movie, didn't she?

--Liza Minelli?

--Good song, but we don't like Cher's female Elvis-like voice. (One of us is actually terrified of Cher. True story).

--Hans Zimmer's stuff is all starting to sound similar. The King's Speech's music was cute. We don't really care about this award. Leeard is happy if anything goes to The Social Network (but especially the music award. Seriously, it was fantastic.)

--Anybody else getting bored? Where's Kanye West when you need him?

--There's going to be a Sherlock Holmes sequel? Bleck. Useless.

--HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON. Probably won't win, but we wish.

--Toy Story 3...typical. Was anyone else underwhelmed by that?

--Very sophisticated hair, Robert.

--At least SOMEONE gave Julianne Moore some credit for this movie.

--Annette, you're so pretty, why do you have to have that hair?

--That's enough commercials now, show.

--These two look like angels of death coming for our souls....or something more clever. Point is, they look creepy (Tilda Swinton and Geoffrey Rush).

--Leeard is happy with Al Pacino's win.

--When Tilda Swinton says "Pillars of the Earth," she sounds angry

--Claire Danes...Cat will be happy.

--Aaron Sorkin. Of course. Good writer, but he looks like a super villain.

--Ern remembers how annoyed Leeard was when she had to tell Ern who Aaron Sorkin was last year...Oops

--Sofia was robbed! But who doesn't love Jane Lynch? She's such a nice person, and Sue is the best thing about Glee, most of the time

--Much better dress than last year, Olivia

--Helen Mirren, we wish we will look like you when we are your age.

--Laura Linney is good, and Lea Michele hasn't had as much material this year, but we still wish Lea had won. It's hard to be more perfect than Laura is in The Big C though.

--It seems like they write that whole show around Jim Parsons, so maybe he deserves it. At least Steve didn't win!

--Leeard loves Jim Parsons.

--Boooo. We wanted Carter. But Melissa Leo was really good in The Fighter. We noticed it during the movie and wondered if anyone else would to. We guess they did....

--Still, super bummed that Helena Bonham Carter didn't win.

--Leeard just jizzed in her pants, because she loves The Godfather. Ern is really bored.

--How sad was Awakenings?

--Is this really the time for a tribute? GET ON WITH IT

--This show has too many commercials. And it's boring. We are about to go to bed.

--Typical. But deserved. We pictured David Fincher as looking more...bad ass. Like Tyler Durden. He's just an old guy. A genius old guy though.

--WASH YOUR HAIR BEFORE YOU GO TO AWARDS SHOWS, JESSE EISENBERG

--Ern: The Social Network is overrated.

--Leeard: I don't care that Ern thinks that. At all. I'm so serious. It's the best movie I've seen in a long time.

--GLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

--Even though we were rooting for The Big C and Modern Family. We guess they had to get the whole Glee cast on that stage somehow.

--Wow, Alicia Keys. Nice muumuu.

--Even Johnny Depp guffaws when they mention The Tourist...

--Is Johnny Depp chewing gum? We hate when famous people think they are above being classy at nice events. Like when they dress like they are homeless...or chew gum. It's like they are too cool to be there. Ughh.

--Chris Nolan has a very large head. That's where he keeps his ginormous brainssss

--Yayyyyyyyyy Natalie!

--Whoa, Natalie Portman has a crazy laugh. We like her even more now that we know she has a flaw.

--We wish Burlesque or The Tourist would have won, just to upset everyone.

--The Kids Are Alright....we wish we had placed bets on the winners tonight. Hardly any surprises.

--Why are we still awake? The last award is going to The Social Network anyway.

--Did Sandra Bullock have surgery? And go Colin!

--Yeah, that's right, fools. Clap for Helena. She was robbed!

--Seriously? Another commercial break?

--We're going to bed. Tell us who won tomorrow, if it isn't The Social Network.

------

Also, if you haven't seen this YouTube video, you MUST
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbhrz1-4hN4

Golden Globes

Since these awards are Sunday night, on NBC at 8 p.m. Eastern, review our picks and add your own.

http://becausewewatchtoomuchtv.blogspot.com/2010/12/golden-globe-tv-nominations.html

Grey's Anatomy - Start Me Up recap/review

For everyone who already knew about the “bombshell” Callie dropped at the end of the episode (and that should include nearly everyone who reads this blog), this episode was probably a little dull. There were a few humorous moments, but it was nothing to last week’s premiere.

This episode started with Meredith lamenting to Derek that she wasn’t pregnant. Throughout the episode, Meredith took ten pregnancy tests, and they all said the same thing. Is this woman really a doctor?

Chief Weber brought in a bunch of medical students to shadow his surgeons, because he is looking to make one of the surgeons Chief Resident, a position previously held by both Callie and Bailey. Cristina and her med student (Warren, from Buffy), who she chose to ignore, were working with the Chief on Henry’s case. If you’ll remember, Henry is the guy that Teddy randomly married. The Chief found out about the marriage and thought it was highly unprofessional. No poop, Sherlock. Henry needed to have a kidney removed and, during the surgery, Teddy had to make an important call regarding Henry’s medical care. She went with the Chief’s recommendation. Teddy was angry that Henry put her in charge of important decisions. This marriage was just supposed to be for insurance, dangit. Henry told Teddy that all of his family and friends either died or left him to weather his own storm, so he put her as his emergency contact because he considers her to be a friend. They had a cutesy moment of forgiveness and newfound friendship while we retched into our popcorn bowls.

Bailey is still dating that nurse, and he is leaving her dirty notes in patient charts and being inappropriate. We wonder how it’s possible that someone who looks like Bailey gets a shot with that nurse. Shonda Rhimes fantasy, as usual. Chief Weber had the medical students write evaluations for their residents. Cristina got a bad review because she was “heartless,” Meredith got a bad review because she was too caught up in personal issues, April didn’t teach, and Jackson got a bad review because he is useless and pretty much the worse resident there (we made that last one up, but it's true). Alex got a good review mostly because he had a hot, female medical student to teach, so he was nice to her. In this way, he was also able to get the med student home and in his bed.

We saw Arizona trying to move back into the Callie/Mark living area. Callie gave her a particularly mean-sounding speech about how she doesn’t want Arizona in her life. But Arizona can’t take a hint (such as getting a door shut in her face), so we guess it was necessary. According to Callie, Callie was just cranky for a week about the move to Africa, so Arizona dumped her. We seem to remember that Callie was a lot more than a little cranky. She was unsupportive up to the moment they hit the airport for Africa. Arizona worked on a case with Mark, and Arizona tried to get Mark to give her hints on how to get Callie to give her another chance. Mark advised Arizona to take a good look at her faults, admit them to Callie, and apologize. Arizona is not as introspective as most intelligent people, so she needed Mark to tell her what her faults were. He told her, “When things get tough, you bail.” Arizona tracked Callie down to tell her this and apologize. Callie replied with, “I’m pregnant. With Mark’s baby.” Ohh snap. Not really, we knew about it already. This is an opportunity for Arizona to prove that she doesn’t bail. Don’t blow it, girl. The episode ended before we saw her reaction. Typical. This show won’t be back until February 3rd too. Typical.

Worst moment of the night: Callie being pregnant with Mark’s baby. How can this be anything but a stupid plotline? And possibly an opportunity for a cringe-inducing Private Practice crossover when Addison delivers the child?

Other worse moment of the night: The first glimpse we had of Meredith's flat, dull, new old-woman hair. It looks like straw. Can they just get the woman a good hair color and fluff it out to give it some body? We are sick at what seasons 6 and 7 have done to the character of Meredith. She has really taken a backseat and become less interesting. Do we REALLY need to see another TV couple struggle with infertility? We were sick of it back when Monica and Chandler were struggling with it. And now we have Marshall and Lily on HIMYM. It's been done to death. Can't someone on TV ever get pregnant when they want to?

Best moment of the night: Alex Karev’s evil laugh when he found out that he got a good evaluation.

Episode grade: B- or C+

Modern Family - Our Children, Ourselves recap/review

The Dunphy Clan- Alex was studying too much and doing a stress-related jaw movement (Ern TOTALLY does that), so her parents worried that she wasn’t relaxing enough. They wondered who Alex got the stressed-out academic gene from, and they forced Alex to take trampoline-jumping breaks. Alex got second-place in a test at school, losing out to a kid named Sanjay with overachieving parents. Alex made a crack to Claire and Phil that she wasn’t as smart as Sanjay because her parents aren’t as smart as Sanjay’s parents. This caused Claire to question the Dunphy parents’ intelligence and education level, and both Claire and Phil felt pretty dumb. That is, until they saw that a cheesy 3-D movie called “Croctopus” was in theatres, and they decided they had to see it together. At the theatre, they ran into Sanjay’s parents. To improve her mind and show that she was sophisticated, Claire decided to go see a hoity-toity French movie with that couple, and Phil snuck off to watch Croctopus. Claire fell asleep and Phil enjoyed himself. As they walked out of the theatre, they saw Sanjay’s father having trouble with a parking ticket validating device and went to help him. Feeling superior, they then ruined it by trying to get out via a door marked “not an exit.” This was a cute moment, and this episode showed how much those two work as a couple. Their movie taste is adorable.

Jay/Gloria/Manny- Gloria tried to become friends with a couple they met while vacationing. Jay didn’t like them and decided to be upfront about it. This embarrassed Gloria, so she told the couple that Jay was getting older and losing his mind.

Mitchell/Cam/Lily- Mitchell, Cam, and Lily went shopping. Well, Mitch and Cam went shopping. Lily was stealing things. Mitchell then ran into an old high school girlfriend that he had slept with about nine years ago. He then saw her handing ice cream to a short red-headed figure and assumes that’s his son. Mitchell told Cam about his suspicions and they both acted dramatically (and hilariously). We loved Cam “needing to have his reaction.” Mitchell and Cam stopped by the girlfriend’s house to ask her about the mysterious redhead. Jumping to conclusions, they had bought a boy’s catcher’s mitt that said, “Little Slugger” on it as a gift. They met the redhead and found out that he was Tracy’s husband, a red-headed midget. The gift did not go over well. This was the strongest, funniest part of this episode. The midget thing was unexpected. We just thought he would turn out to be a different man’s child. We also liked the part where Mitchell and Cam lied about sleeping with women, using names of female characters in musicals in their lies.

Not the best episode of this show, but still funny. It was more low-key than last week, and after that frantic episode, a calmer episode was needed.

Episode grade: B-

Southland - Punching Water recap/review

Yeah, yeah. We know it's Thursday. Well, better late than never.

Remember Chickie’s old partner, Dewey? Well, he’s out of rehab and in some 12-step program and back on the force. The bad news is that he’s more annoying than ever. It’s making Josie look like the best partner in the world. In the first scene, we saw the cops walking around at night at a crime scene, and Dewey was talking about how it was a blessing that a poor kid from a bad area was shot. Lydia screeched something like, “That was someone’s CHILD” and pushed/hit his face with her hand. Oh, snap. Yeah, this guy is still a jerk. And Lydia is still passionate. According to the voiceover, passion is part of being a good cop. The episode cut to the past.

Ben was still dating that redhead, Sally. Chickie informed him that Sally had a thing for cops and that Sally had even asked Chickie to join her in a cop threesome. Poor Ben is just being used, but he and Sally are still on.

Dewey got partnered with Cooper and Chickie was partnered with Ben. Cooper was annoyed. We would be too. Lydia and Josie investigated a murder-suicide. Lydia sympathized with the daughter of the dead couple, but Josie seemed happy-go-lucky and concerned with shopping. During this episode, we found out that Josie had been shot in the wrist and married twice, all three experiences deemed “overrated” by Josie.

Cooper and Dewey pulled over a van with 11 people in it. The van was only supposed to hold seven people. It was a Mariachi band late for a restaurant opening. Dewey was actually cool with them, making friends and offering to give some of the members a ride to their gig. Cooper was still annoyed. Then the two were called to come to a hotel to attend to a guy who was tied to the hotel bed. His wife and his two girlfriends had held a gun to him, tied him to a bed, wrote curse words on his stomach, and superglued his penis. Niiiice. That’s a serious tort there, but worth it.

Sammy and Nate investigated the shooting of a guy named “Frosty,” and a witness kept telling Sammy that “Nobody shot Frosty.” Nobody turned out to be the name of an actual person (or at least his street name). Nate found out that Frosty’s cousin was having sex with Nobody, and this started a gang war. The cops were called to another scene, and it turned out that Nobody had been shot. The gang war led to a shooting of a four-year-old. Lydia and Josie were called in to help with this case too. Then just about everybody joined in. The guy who shot the four-year-old did it from the safety of a dark Chevy suburban, with an AK-47. Then we saw the origins of the opening scene. After Lydia and Dewey were pulled apart, Dewey got back in the car with Cooper and ranted about how much he wanted to beat Josie and Lydia, even though they are women. While stopping for coffee with Chickie and Ben, Cooper grabbed Ben and took off, leaving Chickie with Dewey. Someone gave up the name of the guy who owned the AK-47 and the killer was caught in a pretty satisfying/funny scene. We’re foggy on the details of this case (hey, give us a break. We don’t recap as we watch or re-watch anything. We just remember what we remember), but it was entertaining, if a little sad.

The episode ended with Sammy coming home to find Victor, the guy teaching Tammy photography, at his house. Victor informed Sammy that he is in love with Tammy and that everyone needs to be an adult for the baby’s sake. Sammy turned around and saw Tammy. Tammy apologized.

This was a good episode of a good show. Lots happened, and it moved faster than a lot of episodes of this show. It would be a good one for people to start out on, if they haven't ever seen the show. So roll on over to amazon video on demand, pony up two bucks, watch this, and then start watching the show on Tuesday nights on TNT. If you like cop shows, that is.

Episode grade: A-

V - Serpent's Tooth recap/review

Let’s face it: V is probably the stupidest show on TV right now (The Hills was cancelled). Very little about this show is working lately. There are no characters that we care about. For a show that talks so much about human emotion, it’s been failing to generate human emotion in the people sitting in front of the screen. The premise has a lot of potential, but we’ve lost all hope that the show’s writers will be able to squeeze that potential out. And NOW, to top it all off, Anna is looking for the human soul to rid the world of emotion.

The face-off between Anna and Diana was a letdown. Nothing happened except that they bickered about whether Anna could find and destroy the human soul. Actually, it was revealed that Anna overthrew Diana because Diana developed human emotions. Diana has been in a creepy room in the ship for 15 years and this is the first time Anna has gone to see her. Diana figured out that Anna can’t lay eggs and the procreation job is all up to Lisa. Diana told Anna that in order to destroy emotions, you must destroy the soul.

Lisa told Erica that Joshua survived, but he doesn’t remember anything, including being in The Fifth Column. Anna put him in a memory chamber so that she could see who destroyed her eggs. All she got was Erica shooting Joshua, which Anna already knew about, obviously. This episode also included Val’s funeral. Ryan didn’t cry, and Val’s parents were disturbed by this. They also blamed Ryan for her death. This should have been sad, but it wasn’t. Father Jack comforted Ryan and told him he had a soul. Oh, priests. Even trying to turn aliens to God, haha.

A group that met on the internet developed a terrorist organization that is having suicide bombers blow themselves up near Visitor buildings. Everyone thinks it’s The Fifth Column, but it’s not. In fact, Erica was angry that there were human casualties in these sloppy bombings. She figured out that the target of the bombings is Chad Decker. Kyle found evidence that led to a base for the terrorist activities. Malik found the same spot, and she and Kyle fought. Kyle punched her, and we saw Malik pull out a large alien tooth. Kyle found another clue, prompting Erica and Malik to take a road trip together. Malik was onto Erica, due to Erica’s sloppiness. She pointed a gun at the driver, Erica, and Erica crashed the car. That’s how it ended.

Anna used Ryan’s new daughter to try to lure him back to her side. She put skin on it to make it cuter, and that didn’t help much. The show has a suffering baby now, but we don’t care that much because Anna is so cold with it and Ryan’s reaction doesn’t convince us of his grief. Also, that is one ugly baby. Anna started torturing it and tempting Ryan with an offer of her bliss for himself and his daughter. Ryan cried and then told Anna to go ahead and bliss the daughter. We guess Anna’s plan worked. Stupid Ryan…

Of course, the whole episode was worth watching to see Anna eat a mouse. That was terrifying and hilarious, so points for that.

One of the stupidest things about this episode was the assertion that the soul is the equivalent of human emotion. Umm, hello? Have the V’s and the humans missed out on the fact that there are chemical sources of emotion, as well as portions of the brain that produce and control them? Has anyone heard of an amygdala? Frontal lobes? There is an actual scientific source for feelings, and Anna could just give people some brain surgery and be done with it. Many scientists deny the existence of a soul, due to their inability to physically locate it. WE aren’t denying the soul, but to dumb the soul down to “feelings” is shallow. Maybe the soul has something to do with intuition (but our subconscious minds do a lot of that), and there is a decent argument to be made that the soul is important in explaining humans’ extreme level of consciousness. Mostly, the soul is supposed to be the spiritual part of us that lives on. It’s what we are aside from our physical material. It’s the core of us. Most of our emotions and thoughts are just parts of our bodies (the brain is part of the body). Maybe the soul has deeper emotions and a deeper voice (who knows?), but getting rid of the soul, even then, wouldn’t stop the amygdala and frontal lobes.

Also, if feelings come from the soul in this mythology, how does fake human skin for a long period of time create a soul? Does God give a soul to creatures who have been on Earth for a long time or who LOOK like humans? Whatever. We give up.

Episode grade: C-

Pretty Little Liars - Salt Meets Wound recap/review

Well, you know from the title of this episode that the girls are going to be hurting. “A” definitely won this round, especially with Spencer and Hanna.

It turns out that Jenna was the one who turned Toby into the cops. Emily told Toby that she didn’t do it, and then Jenna told him the truth after he was released on bail. The bail for murder must be really high… Anyway, Toby turned down her offer of further incest, but he still got screwed because the cops confirmed that Jenna’s blood was on his sweater. Toby has a tracker on his ankle, so he can’t go anywhere. He was trying to pick it off though.

Spencer’s boyfriend, Alex, got recommended for a summer tennis clinic that could help him go pro, but he chose not to apply in order to work and save up money for college instead. Spencer, understandably, did not support this decision, thinking it was crazy to turn down such a great opportunity. She let it go though (we wouldn’t have). But “A” submitted Alex’s application electronically, behind his back. He was accepted. Because Spencer was the only person Alex told, he dumped her, thinking she did it.
Spencer was also still upset that her sister had eloped with Ian. Spencer’s mom (Mrs. Hastings) shot Spencer’s complaints down, saying that her sister had a hard year, partially due to Spencer. Mr. Hastings agreed with Spencer (we were surprised, too).

Emily had Maya over for dinner with her parents. Did anyone else go to a dirty place when Emily said that Maya “eats everything”? What about when it turned out that the one thing she doesn’t eat is fish? HA. Emily’s mom decided that Maya’s accounts of her parents were weird (we thought that sharpie story was adorable) and then spotted Maya playing footsie with Emily. Emily’s mom ran off to the kitchen and cried. Were we supposed to feel bad for her? Because we didn’t. It’s hard when the only tragedy is that a parent’s daughter didn’t grow up to meet the parents' expectations. It was just awkward to watch that. We love Emily’s dad though. Too bad he is shipping off again. Emily thanked her mom for the dinner, and Emily’s mom told Emily that she was not ok with Emily’s relationship. Emily’s mom said that it made her physically ill. Yikes.

Noel started sneakily blackmailing Mr. Fitz to get better grades in a way that no one could call him out on. Jenna is also aware of the inappropriate Aria/Mr. Fitz relationship. Aria and Spencer figured out that “A” is trying to make the four main girls on this show into enemies. We saw a flashback where Alison broke Noel up with his girlfriend so that Aria could have him. Noel knew she had done it, too.

Hanna found her mom’s stolen cash in a cupboard while she was looking for pop tarts. “A” sent Hanna text taunting her about it right away. “A” MUST have hidden cameras in people’s houses, because that was just too instant and accurate. Hanna’s mom told Hanna that she was just borrowing it from the bank client, Mrs. Potter, and that she would pay it back by the time Mrs. Potter made her annual trip to the bank next year. Mona threw a surprise party at Hanna’s house to welcome her back from the hospital. Even Lucas was invited. He started baiting Hanna’s boyfriend, angrily and drunkenly. Hanna took him to the outside porch to talk to him, and Lucas admitted that he destroyed Alison’s memorial, because Alison treated him badly. Hanna told Lucas that she wouldn’t tell. Lucas acted like a complete butt this episode, but we still love him. When he walked off, we were still rooting for him to get the girl. Come on, he knew how long it took to get to his house from Hanna's! While that could be extremely creepy, we choose to think it's cute. It seems that “A” was invited too, because she stole all Mrs. Potter’s money. “A” left a note saying that Hanna would get the money back if she did what “A” said.

Episode grade: A-

The Cape Pilot Review

Hint for watching this show: Just turn your brain off. Grab a kid or a pre-teen and just enjoy this show as you would a show on the level of a cartoon. It was decently enjoyable and the first hour moved quickly. It’s never going to be your next nerd addiction though. It’s extremely uncomplicated and devoid of mythology. Whether you like that or not, it means that the show moves quickly and isn’t taking itself seriously at all. It’s also pretty funny. It makes zero sense, but it’s great for anyone missing the 1960s Batman show. It’s not that original either. We probably aren’t going to keep watching, unless we are truly bored on a Sunday night. It's disappointing, because some elements and characters worked really well. When it was good, it was excellent, but moments like that were rare.

When you watch this show, don’t ask stuff like: “Where is CSI when everyone thought this guy was dead?” “How ballsy was it for this guy to go peak out from behind a tree yards away from his family at his own funeral?” “What’s with the gang of circus people, complete with a midget, who just hang out underground, looking for hurt cops?” “And when is the last time you spotted a Carnivale-esque troop of carnies in this modern age/in America, running around with a circus NOT run by a large company?” “The main character couldn’t send a quick message to his wife and tell her not to speak of it for her own safety?” “What happens to his family if his cape hood is ripped off mid-fight and then he loses the fight?” “What kind of fabric is that cape made of?” “Doesn’t he need a mask too, because we can still see his face?” “Isn’t it true that you can’t hypnotize the unwilling?” “Why can’t I decide if Summer Glau is stunning or homely?”

Just watch the show. It’s just dumb fun for nerds in training. Yes, we are talking about that young cousin, son, little brother. Grab him and have some quality family time. Superheroes are GOING to be unrealistic. It’s a fun superhero show. One un-fun part was the second-to-last scene where he went to see his kid. That was SO LAME. We think even the child actor was thinking, “What’s up with this fool?” Oh, and also, the lead actor has zero charisma or depth to his performance. Cute though … And who thought James Frain was scary? Not us.

Pilot Grade: C+

The first two hours are up on hulu.com

Episodes Pilot Review

We love that Matt LeBlanc can make fun of himself! We saw that from the “upcoming” previews at the end of this episode, because he’s not in the pilot much. That’s a shame, because people just trying out the show last night won’t see all it has to offer until he takes a more prominent place in the show.

This show might be funnier to people who have worked in television, because it’s a satire of the behind-the-scenes stuff. The show is looking to chronicle how TV shows can go wrong in a satirical way, so true fans of TV might get the inside humor. So far, it skewers Americans remaking British shows (on a network that is currently airing a remake of a British show, Shameless). The writing is clever and amusing. It’s not laugh-out-loud funny yet, but what can you really do in a 25-minute pilot?

If you enjoy British humor, there is some there. Two of the main characters are British. There is some American humor too, and we expect that Matt LeBlanc will bring more of it. There are only going to be seven episodes in this season, so go ahead and watch them. The show is enjoyable enough to warrant three-and-a-half hours of your life. We will be watching it.

Pilot Grade: B-

Shameless Pilot Review

This is a remake of a British show about an alcoholic father of six kids whose mother left long ago. Together, this dysfunctional family of enablers and partiers take care of each other and get into trouble. It premiered on Showtime last night, and it stars William H Macy, Emmy Rossum, and Joan Cusack. It's some great voyeuristic entertainment about poverty, but it needs to have a little more humor. Dark humor, of course, but still.

We haven’t seen the original show, so we can’t judge this remake based on that. The pilot moved fast, gave a good introduction of all the characters, and kept a sense of humor with some grittiness. None of the characters are flat, so far. It has a wild and fun tone, even though a lot of the subject matter is sad. Many families live this way, but this family makes it look at least a little thrilling. The show is loud and dark and energetic. Shameless is a little different from anything that’s on right now, in a good way, and the pilot was entertaining and enjoyable. Why did Emmy Rossum straighten her hair though? She looks way better with the natural curls. Good performance though, from her and the others. We want this show to settle down a little, find some focus, and get into some touching or bleak moments, like the one with the dad on the floor and Emmy Rossum doing his voice. This show feels like it’s on speed. It needs to have some quieter moments mixed in.

There’s nudity, bad language, and exploitation of poverty, but it all feels human. It's got a child torturing an animal as a joke and white trash stereotypes. It certainly won't win any awards for being tasteful or fair to its subjects, especially because anyone who has Showtime is relatively wealthy in comparison.

We hear the British version is better than this (because the British tend to respect the intelligence of their audience and let stupid people fall to the wayside, rather than dumb stuff down for the masses), so it makes us want to check that out. Plus, James McAvoy is in it. We will keep watching this American version, but we would guess that the true gold might be found in the original. If you’re interested in this though (and have Showtime) watch it, because we think it has loads of potential (unlike the lives of the people in Shameless). Who knows? Give it a season to brew and it might become a good show in its own right, separate from the British show, like the American The Office.

Pilot Grade: B