Friday Night Lights - Series Finale

Notes on the series as a whole, in case some of you haven’t seen it: This show was realistic (except for the season 2 murder plot…stupid) and it had great, well-rounded characters. If you’ve never seen FNL, just watch the season 1 pilot. It’s up on Instant Netflix. If that doesn’t hook you, nothing will. It shows you how the show can make you care, instantly. Good writing, good plots, one of the best marriages on TV, and lots of football. This show will be greatly missed. The good news is that it can find new life on DVD once the full series is out. We highly recommend it. It’s not escapist junk; it’s great, gritty drama. Get the DVDs and enjoy one episode after another, in order, or watch it on Instant Netflix. BUT don’t be alarmed when the quality goes down a bit in season two. It picks back up again shortly. Season one is pretty perfect. This last season was good too.

Notes on the finale: We wanted to love the Friday Night Lights series finale, but we only merely liked it. It didn't pack a huge punch, and it wasn't super memorable. It was just pleasant and everything was wrapped up nicely. Matt Saracen proposed to Julie Taylor and she said yes, which redeemed her for us a little bit, even though she doesn’t deserve him. She almost ran when she caught a sight of Matt’s still-crazy grandma though. We liked the scene where Coach Taylor told Matt that he couldn’t marry Julie. Awkward moment and the coach’s opinion didn’t count for much, but it added some tension to an otherwise merely nice episode. Coach Taylor and Tami moved for Tami’s job, because it was her turn. We approve. It seemed like a great time for that family to roll out, and it showed that even though the coach can be stubborn, he knows when to put his wife’s needs first.

The montage at the end was sweet. There was lots of resolution in the episode, which is what we like in a series finale (none of that Sopranos-type ending, thanks). We love that Tyra wants to go into politics…and that she didn’t give that up for Tim Riggins, even though Tim is a great character and really hot. The most touching moment of the night, for us, was when Vince told Coach Taylor that the coach changed his life. Whether you cried during the finale depends on how attached you were to the characters and the show itself.

Series Grade: A

Lady Gaga - "Born This Way"

The number one song on iTunes right now is Lady Gaga's new single, "Born This Way", which was released today. What we've come to expect from Lady Gaga is an electronic, alternative pop sound (or a few rock ballads that she plays live), and we like that. That's the sound that made her a star. Also, she had subtle, clever, winking lyrics, not hit-you-over-the-head lyrics.

"Born This Way" is a gay anthem, and it's very blunt in its message. Rather than having lyrics that people can figure out the meaning in/relate to, the meaning finds them and demands that they dance. A lot of the lines are good, and it should definitely speak to gay teens. Older people will want something that packs more of a punch or something more subtle. It has a very bubblegum sound. It sounds like a combination of Madonna's "Express Yourself" and Christian singer Rachel Lampa (it even mentions God, positively, a LOT). The "Express Yourself" thought came into one of our heads 45 seconds into the first listen, and the thought still isn't leaving. The song is very pop and generic. It doesn't sound edgy or creative or any of the other adjectives we've come to associate with Ms. Germanotta. We were looking for another "Bad Romance" and got a Jessica Simpson sound instead. Who knows though? Maybe it will grow on us, like most bad pop.

We love the idea of Gaga doing a gay anthem. We just wish this wasn't it. We hope the rest of the album is better than this.

One Glee Rumor and One Glee Spoiler

Here's the spoiler--> Rachel will be having a romantic encounter with someone who is not Puck and not Finn.

Here's the rumor--> Blaine will have a romantic encounter with a woman that will make him question whether he is gay or, in fact, bisexual. UPDATE--> Found a decently credible web site that said it's true. Blaine WILL be questioning his sexuality. We're not 100% sure this is true yet, but it's looking more and more likely.

We hope the rumor is true, and that he is Rachel's hookup. Best couple ever. But then he needs to go back with Kurt, and Rachel needs to brag like crazy about almost turning Blaine.

UPDATE: The rumor is true. Blaine will question his sexuality. We wonder who the girl will be? Again, we hope it's Rachel. Lots of people are really angry about this plotline though....

Going the Distance

A few comments…

1. Meh.
2. Kind of realistic, for a romantic comedy.
3. Justin Long and Drew Barrymore make a more believable couple than we thought they would. Their characters weren’t stereotypical or as flat as the main characters usually are in romantic comedies.
4. There are a few funny moments (and they are mostly crude), and we love seeing Christina Applegate.
5. Drew Barrymore kind of needs to bleach her teeth. Loved her hair though.
6. We liked the ending.
7. A little too long for a story that merely consisted of a long-distance couple trying to make it long distance.

It’s ok to skip this one, but it’s also ok to see it if you really want to.

Grade: C+

Glee - Silly Love Songs recap/review

It’s almost Valentine’s Day, and since Glee can't resist a theme, the show jumped all over it. Finn is into Quinn again, but Quinn has decided to not be a dirty cheater and stick with Sam. Finn decided to attack this problem at the knees. No wait, the lips. He set up a kissing booth where all the girls in school could kiss the quarterback who finally got McKinley a championship. He figured that if everyone kissed him for a dollar, then Quinn would too, because of the peer pressure. Santana’s comment? “I’ve kissed Finn…not worth a buck.” Ha!

Quinn resisted, but Sam caught them having a moment and wondered why all the girls but Quinn were paying to kiss Finn. (It’s getting really annoying to write about these two, because of the rhyming names. We hope the tryst is short-lived.) Sam confronted Quinn and Quinn had to kiss Finn in order to prove to Sam that she, Quinn, was over Finn. (UGH!) The result? Fireworks. So they went into the auditorium to secretly make out. Santana saw the guilt and evil on their faces and figured it all out. She infected Finn with mono at the kissing booth, and Finn passed it to Quinn. Santana can definitely be a bitch, but that was awesome. Quinn then decided to stop cheating until she decided what she was going to do about Sam.

Puck started off the episode describing to us his hilarious crush on Lauren. We expected Lauren to fall into his arms immediately, but the great thing about this relationship is that she didn’t. She made him work for it, saying, “I'm not desperate, so if you really want this, you best come correct.” LOVE it. He sang for her (“Fat Bottomed Girls”), asked her out repeatedly, got her a candy ring, bought her chocolates (Lauren--“Your chocolates sucked.” Puck—“But you ate them all.” Lauren-- “I had to make sure they all sucked.”), and still she made him earn it. We also found out that her seven minutes in heaven with Puck were disappointing for her. She walked out on him. (Puck: “But that was only three minutes.” Lauren, sadly: “Three minutes I’ll never get back.”) She finally caved when Puck said that it wasn’t only her curvy physique that impressed him, but the fact that she was just as bad ass as he was. This is true. We saw her go up against Santana this episode. First, she called Santana out for being a bitch, and then when Santana tried to fight Lauren for stealing her man, Lauren tossed Santana around like a rag doll until Beiste broke it off. Hilarious, but a bit hypocritical for the school (and fans) to take such a hard stance on violence in some cases but not others. Lauren told Puck that she wanted to take it slow. This plotline could be another disastrous, unrealistic situation like the time Will kissed Beiste, but these two characters are so funny that it works. It’s not patronizing, because it’s done believably/handled well.

The saddest plotline involved Kurt and Blaine. Blaine admitted to Kurt that he had a secret crush who he wanted to sing to on Valentine’s Day. Blaine asked Kurt if Kurt thought that was lame. Kurt, assuming Blaine meant him because they have been spending so much time together, insisted that it wasn’t lame at all. Sadly, Blaine ended up singing to a Gap employee and getting him fired. Also, the Gap guy is too old for Blaine and not interested. What’s wrong with you Gap guy? If we could be assured a relationship with the super-sexy Blaine, we would undergo sex change operations. Blaine sang “When I Get You Alone” by Robin Thicke to the Gap guy, and let us just say, that’s been playing on our iPods nonstop since yesterday (and our computers since Sunday). Ern has been humming it in law school. SO catchy. But Leeard would like to make it clear that she loves, and deserves to love, both this song and Darren Criss more than Ern. It's an ongoing debate, and Leeard will win eventually. Just for the record, we both would've swooned had Darren Criss serenaded us at work. Anyway, Kurt told Blaine that he had a crush on Blaine. The future of this relationship was left on an uncertain note, because the two don’t want to ruin the friendship. It was really great to see Blaine show his vulnerable side. It makes us love him even more.

Tina tried to sing “My Funny Valentine” to Mike Chang, but she broke down in tears because she loves Mike so much. Oh Tina... So awkward. Artie butchered “P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)” while Mike frolicked around his wheelchair. While at a diva sleepover (which included Kurt) Mercedes told Rachel that all of the great divas were single when they achieved fame, and that they poured their loneliness into song and it made them greater. Can we have more of these three interacting? Pretty please? So Rachel finally stopped chasing Finn, because she decided that her pining was distracting her from her real goals. But just as she started to move on, Finn hinted that he still had feelings for her. Rachel walked out the door and broke into Katy Perry’s “Firework,” which wasn’t better than the original version like we expected it would be. The episode ended with most of the gang at Breadsticks watching Kurt’s first annual Lonely Hearts concert where the Warblers sang “Silly Love Songs.” Santana and Sam smiled at each other. That’s on. Oh! Also, Mercedes wears a onesie as pajamas. Ern wears a onesie! She is wearing it right now, as she edits the final draft of this post!!! DIVA WEAR, hells yeah.

Episode grade: A-

Much better than the Super Bowl episode, especially the songs.

Pretty Little Liars - Je Suis Une Amie recap/review

The doings of the Liars, from least to most importance. Aria will always be the least important, unless she turns out to be A. Or dies.

Aria - Isn’t (entirely) as dumb as we thought she was. She found out that her parents were up to something and followed them, with Hanna, to the high school. She discovered that they were hooking up. We are unsure how we feel about this.

Emily - Paige was still acting erratic, and it was clear that Paige really wanted to win the swimming showdown between her and Emily. But Emily wanted to win too. Paige appeared at Emily’s door, at night and in the rain, the night before the competition and apologized to Emily. She seemed depressed and like she was saying goodbye. Sure enough, Paige got into a bike accident on the way home but only sustained minor injuries. Paige did not compete in a swim meet that week, and Emily anchored the win. Afterward, Emily comforted Paige, who admitted that she had thought of ending it on the bike that night, and they swam together, just for fun. Too soon? We were liking Paige as a mean beyotch. Emily doesn’t need another sweet friend. We liked the rivalry.

Hanna - Discovered that Caleb, the cute tech geek, is living in the high school, in the walls, because his foster parents, parents, and social worker all suck. Then Hanna admitted to Aria that she had given Ella a ticket to the art exhibit. Aria was upset at her friend’s betrayal and cut off contact with Hanna. Hanna let Caleb come to her house and live in her basement, and she cried to him about her Aria problems. We approve.

Spencer - Saw an advertisement asking for a French peer tutor for Toby. She decided to be that tutor so that she could find out what he knew about Alison’s death. Spencer is upset because she thinks that someone is trying to frame her, since someone bought those bracelets under Spencer’s name. Spencer apologized to Toby for suspecting him and gave Toby a copy of The Catcher and the Rye for him to practice with (OF COURSE he likes that book). Jenna made him give it back to Spencer and fire Spencer as a tutor, but he hid a clue in the book, written in Braille. We know that Spencer will decipher it next week. Spencer and Melissa also fought about whether Ian was trustworthy. Melissa told Spencer that she knows that Spencer and Ian kissed. Then Melissa told Spencer that she was impregnated by Ian’s spawn. The never-fake Spencer did not say congratulations. We love her, so we love all developments surrounding her. Except her sister being pregnant. They better make something awesome happen because of this baby. Maybe the baby is A!

A perfectly good episode of this mystery show. There were no jaw-dropping revelations or extremely dramatic moments, but we enjoyed it. Also, bonus, we didn't have to watch Aria gallivanting around with Mr. Fitz. He wasn't in this one at all! We don't find him sexy, because he is a creeper. Also, he has a distinct Tucker Carlson vibe.

Episode Grade: A-

Dropping Gossip Girl

There was a time that Gossip Girl made us squeal, that the drama was fresh, and we cared about the romances. This was two years ago. Even though we love Blair (and we love her even more with Chuck), we are saying goodbye to Gossip Girl. Although it was one of our favorites for a long time, it's been "blah" for a really long time. Even the fashion has been lacking.

You can't beat the Chuck/Blair romance of season two, so even the thought of one day seeing them together again isn't enough to keep us going. We've started to wonder if the show only has repetitive plotlines left. We're annoyed with Serena's doe-eyed, victim antics, Lily's scheming, Chuck's whoring, Dan's snootery, Jenny's lack of integrity, Rufus getting run over, Nate's boringness, and Blair's refusal to grow as a person, ever. We think Dorota is Gossip Girl, and that's our final guess, because we're done. Our Mondays are full of teen drama (the now-superior Pretty Little Liars), thanks. Strongly disagree? Think we should keep going? Think the show has been good lately? Let us know.

Tell us if anything juicy happens. XOXO.

How I Met Your Mother - Oh Honey recap/review

Marshall was still at his childhood home with his family, helping to take care of his mother for a few weeks after his father’s death. The phone rings, and it’s Robin with a story. She reminded Marshall of a time where she had a dinner party and Zoey came. Zoey and Ted had a moment, and then Zoey tried to distance herself from Ted by promising to set Ted up with her hot cousin. Weeks later, Ted still hadn’t heard from Zoey, so he called her up and asked her to make the hot cousin thing happen. Zoey brought her cousin, played by Katy Perry, to the gang’s bar so they could meet her. Robin explained that the cousin was hot, but very gullible. After everything she said, you would just want to say, “Oh, honey.” So the gang started calling her Honey.

Marshall learned through calls from Barney, Lily, and Ted that Honey wanted to go home with Ted, but Ted was in love with Zoey, so he let Barney take Honey home. Barney told Honey that he had three Nobel Prizes, among other things, so she slept with him. Barney told Zoey about how “Ted fell on his sword so that Zoey could fall on Barney’s,” and Zoey hugged Barney, thrilled. Ted found out about this and told Zoey that they couldn’t be friends any more, but that he couldn’t tell her why. The reason, of course, is that she is married, and Ted is (sometimes) not as much of a jerk as we thought he was. But then Ted crumbled and told Zoey that the reason they couldn’t be friends is that Lily hated her. Lily told Zoey that it was actually Robin who hated her. Robin broke down and said that it was Marshall who hates Zoey. Zoey threw up her hands and confronted Ted, convinced that it was really his problem and that he was being a chicken. Wow, she knows Ted well. Meanwhile, Marshall got a call from Honey, who was looking for Barney, and Marshall tricked Honey into telling him that Zoey and the Captain were getting divorced.

Ted decided to tell Zoey that he hated her, and he started to, hilariously, list all of the reasons why he hated her. But then, mid conversation, Marshall called both Ted and Zoey, individually, and told Zoey about the love and Ted about the divorce. Then they kissed.

We still don’t think that Zoey is the mother, because we’ve seen no indication that she has roomed with Rachel Bilson’s character, and she also doesn’t match other past dropped Mother Hints. But the way they got together played out so cutely on the screen that we like her now. It was rough of them to introduce her as a crazy left-winger though, which is something that some people thought made the character seem over-the-top and rabid.

Katy Perry was good as Honey. We liked that the episode was advertised as being all about her, but really she just played a bit part well and the character set up actual plot progression and good moments between our main characters. She fit into the show, even though her character’s gullibility was a little unbelievable. This episode wasn’t very funny, but the set-up was clever and the end was cute.

Episode grade: B

Fringe and Glee recap/reviews

So, Friday's Fringe and Sunday's Glee are getting a little shortchanged, recap-wise, but it was Super Bowl weekend, so we were busy. We'll make sure everything you need to know is in there though.

Glee: The McKinley High football team has actually gotten better and is going to the championships. But when the football players slushied Artie nasty, Coach Beiste and Will decided to finally get involved in the war that took out Kurt. Will and the Coach decided to force the football guys to join Glee club for one week, the penalty for noncooperation being an ousting from the team and the big game. The Glee Club and the team were slated to perform a mash-up of Thriller and The Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ “Heads Will Roll” during halftime. This is because the Cheerios had a championship of their own to get to.

The Cheerios championship forced Brittany, Santana, and Quinn to choose between cheerleading and Glee. After some warbling, they chose Glee. Sue’s plan to shoot Brittany out of a canon to win the competition helped them make the decision. She could have died. So Sue lost her National Title and got called a loser by Katie Couric in a post-competition interview. Oh the shame…

The football players got a taste of their own medicine when they were mocked for being in Glee and slushied by the school’s hockey team. The football players dropped out, but the Glee guys were still able to play, because Tina, Rachel, a hilarious Lauren, and Mercedes stepped up so that the football team could have the minimum number of players required. Tina even made a touchdown. Puck rallied the football players before halftime, and Finn got the cheerleaders back, and even Karofsky joined in on the halftime number. They even won the football game. Then Karofsky decided to start being a jerk again and did not stay in the glee club.

We got a glimpse of a Dalton Warblers rehearsal (“Bills Bills Bills” by Destiny’s Child), and Rachel sang “Need You Now” with Puck to demonstrate what Glee does to the football players. “She’s Not There” was the number everyone used to warm-up for the halftime show. The best use of that song is still in Kill Bill. Tarantino makes a mean soundtrack. Also, Quinn kissed Finn. That Quinn is SUCH a cheater!!!!

We weren't digging most of the songs ("She's Not There" was decent), but we're just glad that this show is finally back. Next episode looks great. Leeard swoons every time she sees the clip of Darren Criss singing "When I Get You Alone." And she's watched it about 100 times (no exaggeration). Either Youtube (or Hulu!) that or wait until Tuesday!

Glee Grade: B-

Fringe: Ok, Here’s all you need to know about this episode. We found out that whoever Peter chooses, our Olivia or Fauxlivia, will determine which universe survives and which one dies. And we aren’t so sure it will be our universe, because a mind-reading guy let Olivia know that Peter still has feelings for Fauxlivia. We really feel for real Olivia. Her theory is that of course Peter fell for the other Olivia, because Fauxlivia is just like Olivia, only not damaged. If someone came along who was an unhurt, undamaged version of you (who never went through all the crud that messed your head up) and the man you loved got with her, how heartbroken would you be? UGH.

Fringe Grade: B

Bones - The Sin in the Sisterhood recap/review

A victim's body was found in cornfield, and Brennan and Booth had to investigate the dead man's three wives. The wives were also biological sisters. Booth and Bones bickered about the nature of marriage, jealousy, and love. They found out the sisters' father had killed the guy. Not a surprise and not a great addition to the polygamy TV canon. Ern was disgusted with the college student who slept with the victim, despite knowing that he had at least one wife. How can you do that? It boggles the mind.

Much of the episide also focused on Cam's frustration with her (new) doctor boyfriend. He wasn't making enough time for their relationship, and, to be fair, neither was she. In the end, they both decided to make their relationship more of a priority. The episode ended with Booth giving Brennan a meaningful look and saying something like, "You can love a lot of people, but you only have one person that you love the most." Which Leeard thought undermined everything he said about Hannah when Brennan confessed her love to him. Makes no sense. However, had Ern been watching the episode, she would've seen the look Booth gave Bones, and it would make sense.

Episode Grade: C-

You can tell by our lame recap that nothing worth going on about happened. Meh. Just your run-of-the-mill procedural episode that wasn't even a very interesting case.

Community - Advanced Dungeons and Dragons recap/review

The episode was about the gang’s efforts to cheer up a suicidal fat guy named Neil, cruelly nicknamed “Fat Neil.” They decided to play a great game of Dungeons & Dragons with Neil that would be moderated by Abed. Pierce was upset that he was left out (because he insensitive and would upset Neil). He found the gang and joined them anyway, as the gang’s villain. He had replaced Chang as the evil one left out of the group. In the end, Neil was saved by Pierce, who didn't learn any lessons, and we were entertained. It is going to be a while before we see Pierce in a good light again, but he makes a great villain, so that’s good.

That was what happened, plotwise. This episode was more about them playing the game, the one-liners, Chang showing up to play in blackface, and much more. The whole intro was a Lord of the Rings reference. They changed the theme song to play the tune of the regular song, but it sounded like fantasy adventure music. It was really clever. Leeard still thinks D&D is for losers though. This was the best episode of Community since it came back from the break. It had heart and a whole lot of humor. Ern watched it twice.

Episode Grade: A

If you missed it and you've seen the show before, watch it on hulu. It's a great episode, but it doesn't do much for new watchers who won't understand the characters.

Grey's Anatomy - Don't Deceive Me (Please Don't Go) recap/review

Derek: Started his Alzheimer’s clinical trial without Meredith. He let Alex Karev assist him instead. Meredith was ticked. Alex needed some help and took advice and lines from Meredith to feed to his troubled patient’s wife. The words were perfect and Alex delivered them well. In the end, he told Derek that Meredith had been saving his tail all day and that she should be on the trial. “She’s the only one twisted enough to handle this,” he said. Derek decided to suck up his personal issues and let Meredith assist.

Alex Karev: Realized that Alzheimer’s is super-depressing and quit the trial. Alex, you know you love pediatrics, so stick with it! The case that broke Alex involved a patient and his wife who had been married for 40 years. Sometimes he is lucid and recognizes his wife, but at other times he says that his wife is another woman named “Victoria.” Victoria is a real person who is also married and memory-impaired. The patient’s real wife begged Alex to give her husband the real medicine rather than a placebo (which you need to randomly give half of the patients when you do a clinical trial). Alex made no promises. Sure enough, the man was slated to receive a placebo and woke up calling for Victoria again. Depressing.

Cristina: Spent all day competing with Jackson for a heart surgery. She’s baaaaaaaack. Their bickering was funny and called-for, until Jackson said that she hadn’t gotten enough practice in a couple of months. Cristina gave him a look that said, “Below the belt, dude,” and walked off. Teddy scolded him. Jackson brought Meredith to Cristina to make sure that Cristina was ok. Cristina was in the locker room, pretending to cry. She yelled for Jackson to get Owen for her. Jackson ran off, and Cristina jumped up, laughing that Owen was at the dentist all day. HA. We love having Cristina back. And she was able to hold a patient’s hand, comfort her, and talk her into surgery, so it looks like she is a better doctor because of her breakdown.

Owen: Had one scene with the chief, because the actor directed this episode. And Owen had to go to the dentist, because that’s what clean people do. One of these bloggers just realized that she is due for a trip to the dentist as well…. We think this episode is even more of a triumph when we realize that everyone had to hear directions through Kevin McKidd's insanely thick Scottish accent. Decent first effort though, and it's nice when people try to broaden their horizons and learn new skills.

Bailey: Started broadcasting her surgeries over Twitter to residents all over the country, with the patients’ permission of course. The Chief freaked out about it, but the benefits to technology won him over in the end.

Arizona/Mark/Callie: Arizona was sad that Callie slept with Mark, wanted to be involved with the baby, and wasn’t too happy about it being Mark’s baby. Mark was extremely onboard with the whole baby thing and excited to be a dad. (Callie: “It’s growing like a weed in my uterus.” Mark: “Not a weed. A MIGHTY OAK.”) One problem—Lexie. She didn’t take the news well/stormed off angrily. Pregnancy has turned Callie into an annoying hypochondriac/"hormone casserole". Her OB/GYN needs to dye her roots.

While we weren’t excited about the stupid Callie having Mark’s baby plotline at first, we are warming up to it now that we’ve realized we are going to get more great Mark/Callie interaction that doesn’t involve them hooking up. They are such fun friends, and now they will be in each other’s lives, being friends, forever. That should lead to some good one-liners and other humor. So we forgive the show. Plotwise, this was kind of a filler.

Episode Grade: B

The Vampire Diaries - Daddy Issues recap/review

The episode didn’t waste any time and opened with Tyler confronting Caroline about Mason’s death. Jules must have told him about the Salvatore brothers, because Tyler knew that Caroline didn’t kill Mason. He was upset that she kept Mason’s death a secret from him though. He pushed Caroline up against a car, hard. Ern KNEW she was right to never ship this couple. Ugh, what a douche. At least Caroline can go back to only dealing with Matt, romantically. She and Matt made plans to talk after Matt’s shift at The Grill.

Tyler went to the woods where his werewolf buddies have an RV. They talked to him about loyalty, having each other’s backs, and how being a werewolf wasn’t as hard when you weren’t in a town filled with vampires. Tyler went home, confused and a little brainwashed. Stefan paid Tyler a visit and tried to convince him that werewolves and vampires should be friends. Tyler wasn’t buying and used his cell phone to let Jules know that he was in trouble. Daddy Stefan wouldn’t let Tyler leave until he had finished his lecture on the importance of being nice to Caroline. Apparently, Stefan’s lectures take several hours.

Jules grabbed her friend, Brady, and they kidnapped Caroline, knocking her out with a wooden bullet in the head. They took her to their RV and put her in their cage. Brady sat outside the cage and shot her with Vervain and more wooden bullets. Poor Caroline! This was really sad. We are really, really starting to loathe Jules. The only consolation is that someone is going to kill her this season, we are just sure of it. It’s going to be brilliant. Jules called Tyler’s cell phone and told Stefan that if he didn’t bring Tyler into the woods (we’re sorry if that Sondheim song is in your head now), she would kill Caroline. Stefan obliged, but he wanted the wolves to hand over Caroline before he let Tyler go, naturally. Damon, who had followed Stefan, appeared and made things go violent quicker than they would have (and they would have; it’s not Damon’s fault). Jules had a bunch of armed werewolves waiting in the woods around the RV, so it was quite a little battle. Damon was on fire, ripping out hearts and everything. Tyler went into the RV and HESITATED for a long time before letting Caroline out of the cage. Are you serious, Tyler? She was almost begging. Ugh. One of us is never, ever shipping this pair again.

Damon and Stefan put up a good fight, but Stefan got staked and Damon got shot. Caroline had a gun to her head as soon as she exited the RV. Tyler just stood there. The werewolves were about to land killing blows when Witch Daddy (Lucas’ father) showed up to save them. The wolves clutched their heads, fell to the ground, and passed out. Because Elijah promised Elena her friends’ safety, Elijah had sent his Witch Daddy to protect them. Witch Daddy told Tyler to give his new dog friends a message: “Get out of town.” Good idea. We don’t need those idiots. There’s enough drama in Mystic Falls as it is. Still, we hope they stay so that someone can kill Jules and we can watch it.

Needless to say, Caroline missed her date with Matt. She got home, told Stefan that she was fine and that he could leave, and started pulling wooden bits out of her skin, looking sadly at herself in the mirror. Matt called her and she lied and said that she was with Bonnie. Matt looked to his right to find Bonnie at the Grill with Jeremy. NOOOOOOOOO. We love Matt. We need more Matt in our TVD lives. Then Tyler stopped by. BLECK. Leeard can’t hate him, because he’s really hot, but Ern is so mad that she wished Caroline would just bite his head off. She did the next best thing though. She reamed him for being a sucky friend, and her words were perfect. Then she slammed the door on his face. Stefan realized that Caroline would need her friends that night, so he brought Elena and Bonnie to Caroline’s. They wrapped her in a tearful, sweet hug immediately. We love best friends!!! So sweet. Leeard cried. Is anyone shipping Stefan and Caroline a little?

Uncle John and Damon made nice in the episode. A little. Uncle John gave Damon a dagger to kill the originals. He also gave Damon a bottle of white oak tree ash into which Damon will dip the dagger. Nice, but kind of lame. It should take more than that to kill an original. Can you say, “Anticlimax”? Uncle John tried to make nice with Elena too, telling her that he wasn’t her father, her adoptive parents were. He gave Elena a necklace her adoptive mother once wore. Aunt Jenna also found out that Elena was John’s biological daughter and was completely weirded out.

Damon had a date with a TV reporter. Dang, she was pretty (like everyone on this show). Not as pretty as Damon though. They took a bubble bath together and Damon shared his troubles with her (after compelling her not to be afraid). He said that he is a killer. That’s who he is, and it’s his nature. But Elena wants him to be different and if he wants to love her, then he can’t be the killer that he is. The reporter reasonably replied that love changes you and that’s fine. Damon told her to shut up and distract them. They made out and he bit her on the shoulder blade. We don’t know if he killed her. We hope not. At the end of the episode, Uncle John went to visit Katherine in her tomb and told her that he and Isabel were working on getting her out of the tomb. Yay! But also, Uh Oh.

Every time we forget how great this show is, Thursday rolls around and reminds us. Not only is it great plot- and character-wise, but it has more hot guys on it than any show on TV. We feel bad for the other shows, because this show has a monopoly on so many great things right now. We miss Elena having more of the action, but we care about the other characters so much that we don't miss it too much when the main character is sidelined.

Episode grade: A

The Office- The Search recap/Review

Photo credit to jeffedoe.
You said you wanted more detailed recaps from us? Try this one. Bones, however, will remain short.

The episode began with Kelly and Ryan coming out to announce that they were getting a divorce after a week of secret marriage (and Ryan crying about it). Kelly threw her ring on the floor, and Meredith cried, “Free ring!” and dove for it. The ex-couple claimed that they didn’t want anyone in the office to take sides and that it was completely amicable. The office asked them questions, and Ryan said, “I’m not getting married until everyone else can get married.” We love that The Office made fun of this wishy-washy, pointless stance. If some man-ho doesn’t get married, it doesn’t help gays. One of us kind of wants gay marriage to happen just so that Brad Pitt has to marry Angeline. Such a cop-out. Anyway, Oscar was onboard with us and told Ryan that it was ok with gays if he got married. More arguing ensued, and then Ryan and Kelly decided they did want the office to take sides. No one in the office supported either of them. The opening credits started. The Office’s opening scenes have been a little useless lately (no offense to Ricky Gervais), and we thought this was a funny step up. It was typical of Ryan and Kelly to do this and typical for the office to ignore them as usual. (We almost wrote “typical for the office to blow them off as usual,” but with the fandom that comes with this show, we knew we would be risking a huge “That’s What She Said” comment.)

Michael met Holly in the kitchen and asked when they were going to get back together, since she and A.J. broke up. Holly moaned about how she didn’t want to continue a pattern of dating co-workers, and we raised our eyebrows. We know that the show wants us to think that Holly and Michael are in love and meant for each other, but Holly sure seems like she doesn’t care to be with Michael. We thought it would be hard for us to believe it if they got back together. She dumped him in the first place, because of long distance. Meh. Jim told Pam that he had done something to one of her doodles and hinted that he put it on the refrigerator. Then he had to leave for a sales call with Michael. Even though the sale was successful, Michael was still upset. He tried to get Jim to argue about Holly with him, and when Jim didn’t say anything, Michael whined, “Ok, let’s talk about you, like always. How’s sex after a baby.” Jim turned the music on. Michael griped that he had to pee, even though they were only ten minutes away from the office building. Jim pulled into a gas station, and Michael got out, leaving his phone and wallet in Jim’s car. While Michael was peeing, Jim got a call that said Pam’s mom had locked baby CeCe in her car, and CeCe had a fever. Jim panicked and ditched Michael to go help his baby. He called the office to tell them where Michael was, and he also told a stranger at the gas station to tell Michael what had happened. The stranger just took off. An employee at the gas station told Michael that he had been ditched. The mean documentary crew did not tell Michael what happened. They just followed him.

Holly prepared to go rescue Michael, and Erin wanted to come with her, because she thinks Holly ruins Michael’s life and sucks. Dwight didn’t think much of either of them. He said, "Space Orphan and Princess Nincompoop are off to rescue Michael…you drive, I’ve got a car full of fox meat.” So the three set off to get their boss. At the gas station, Holly asked the cashier which direction Michael took as he walked away (or “about.” Was that a LOST reference?). Dwight mocked Holly for asking that, when it would only be logical for Michael to walk toward the office. But Holly thought Michael would walk in the direction of a good-smelling bakery, and the cashier confirmed that she was right. Michael, meanwhile, had wandered into the pet store. He gave love advice to the puppies, asked it of the parrots, and to the snake he said something like, “You’re disgusting. No one will ever love you. Bleck.” Michael then went to a hot dog stand and tried to give them vendor his watch as collateral for a hot dog. Then he just tried to get a free hot dog. This didn’t work, so he went to a Chinese restaurant. He tried to dine and ditch, but he felt bad and went back in to tell the owner that he would come back later that night and pay. The owner was angry (“you dined so MUCH”) and took a picture of Michael holding a sign that said, “THIEF.” The Chinese man put it on his wall of shame for thieves. We saw that Creed had his own picture on the wall. Meredith should have had one too.

Pam had gone to the fridge and found that people had been writing captions under her doodle that made fun of Sabre printers. She went out to the office and proposed a caption contest. She made a new drawing of two dogs in pants, standing on a little island with a palm tree. Gabe was concerned about his own pride, so he told the gang that they couldn’t make fun of Sabre and they couldn’t make any pop-culture reference, because some people (Gabe) wouldn’t understand them and would be left out. He also said that they had to write the captions of new Sabre post-its. These rules sent everyone to their computers to IM Pam the real captions. They put the new Sabre post-its on Gabe’s back (one of them said, “DOOSH” and since stupid Erin wasn’t there, we are going to have to assume that was Kevin). Gabe got a hold of the list of captions because Phyllis doesn’t know how to use a computer. He read them out loud, and they were ok. The winner was, surprise, Angela, with “Is that a palm tree, or did Gabe get skinnier? Either way, let's pee on it."

Dwight and Erin were starting to realize that Holly and Michael have the same brain. She led them to the Chinese restaurant and then to the top of a tall building where they finally found Michael. Actually, Dwight had ditched the women by then. Holly got up there first. Michael saw Holly and told her that he missed her. Holly confessed that she missed Michael too. Michael asked if he could kiss Holly, and Holly said yes. Michael kissed the crap out of her. Erin emerged onto the roof and saw them. Her glee at seeing Michael happy overcame her dislike of Holly, and Erin smiled.

We enjoyed this episode, even though it wasn’t the show’s best. As nice as it is to see Holly and Michael get together, we really didn’t want an ending to Michael’s story where he rides off into the sunset, happy. We wanted something darker, funnier, and more interesting. We aren’t really believing that Holly likes him again after all this time of blowing him off in favor of A.J. And where the flip has Jim been for the past two episodes. He shows up for like two minutes and then departs. Is there something going on with the actor? He used to be one of the best characters on the show, and now he is just criminally underused. Does becoming a dad make you not want to pull pranks anymore? Try telling that to this blogger’s dad.

Episode Grade: B

Is It Ok For Guys to Watch Pretty Little Liars?

Ok, not to be a total creeper, but this blogger was searching through all of the search terms and phrases that led people to the blog today. One of them was the question, "Is it ok for guys to watch Pretty Little Liars?"

Obviously, the answer is yes. It's always good to defy stupid gender stereotypes to do what you want to do, and it's also good to not care what other people think so much that you drop something you enjoy.

Also, while there is some romance and girl drama, PLL is first and foremost a murder mystery right now. Plus, there is the mystery of who is terrorizing the main girls. Plenty of guys could get into it if they gave it a chance. If other guys make fun of you, just say that you like the mystery aspect and that the girls are really hot. The show can also be really funny. It's a clever little show. If you watch Gossip Girl or Hellcats or something like that, then you have less of a leg to stand on. But PLL is driven mainly by plot rather than girl drama.

Is it ok for girls to watch The Wire, 24, Breaking Bad, Prison Break, Star Trek, Fringe, Dexter, The Walking Dead, Boardwalk Empire, and sports? If it isn't, lock us up.

We hope that answered your question, random stumbler.

American Idol - Austin Texas Auditions

No Modern Family AGAIN this week. Ugh. But we had American Idol to keep us chuckling tonight. The show started with a tongue-in-cheek apology for Steven Tyler’s behavior on prime time, family television and then showed him giving reference to the F-Word. Actually, AI, we think people were upset that he was an old man hitting on underage girls and he isn’t Edward Cullen. We actually weren’t ever upset by Tyler’s behavior. It’s funny, he’s a rock star, and it does no real harm.

Apparently, there were a lot of good people in Austin. We had several montages of good people getting golden tickets, running around, calling family, and receiving yeses from the judges. But American Idol chose to only show us the ones with the good stories. It wasn’t a super memorable episode either.

It started with a couple of siblings. We thought the story of how the male and female siblings grew up apart and didn’t meet each other until they were teens was really cool. They became best friends and the sister supported the brother’s singing. Siblings are some of the most valuable relationships you can have in your life, and it’s nice to see some that click. The guy’s voice, however, was mediocre. It was pretty clear and high. It sounded like a poor-man’s Rascal Flatts. Good riffs though.

Then they had Hollie Cavanaugh, a nervous girl from McKinney, Texas (by way of Liverpool). She looked like a blonde version of Kristen Stewart. We loved her voice and style, but she kept changing keys in her audition. The judges asked her to sing something else, and she picked another song that’s hard to sing a cappella: Miley Cyrus’ The Climb. As much as people bash that song (and it definitely is cheesy), it's a good song, and very easy to relate to. The judges liked that better though (it sounded like she only changed keys once) and gave Holly a golden ticket. We have high hopes for this one if she can get some background music to keep her in one key. Then came John Wayne, who probably made it that far because of his name and glowing exterior. J-Lo could hear Jesus in his singing, haha (she told him that the gift of faith came through in his performance).

One of our favorites was Courtney, the girl who was in love with Ryan Seacrest. We laughed so hard at that part and at her chicken imitation. She was working the hilarity to stand out. It was surprising that she could sing, and the weaknesses J-Lo talked about probably came from nerves. Then the show featured a couple in love, Nick and Jacqueline, who aspired to be AI’s first power couple. The girl had five notes that she could belt, but one of us can already hear that she doesn’t have a range. The guy had a mediocre voice too, but they were both pleasant. Leeard really liked them both. Ern preferred the pretty, blonde country girl who was out to prove that country people had all of their teeth and just enjoyed a more leisurely life. She sang two songs and got a big yes from all three judges. She had some beauty to her voice, rather than just belt.

The show ended on a high note with Casey Abrams, the guy who looked like Fraggle Rock (and Seth Rogan). We could tell he was going to get a yes from the first two seconds of his bluesy song. Very talented and entertaining guy. But AI had better be saving the good people for later on the show, because they let a lot of people in, but they mostly showed us the ho-hum ones with more gimmick than talent. We like that they are giving the question marks a chance to shine in Hollywood though.

Episode Grade: B

Side note - They let 50 people through to Hollywood from Austin? WHAT?!

Southland - The Winds recap/review

It was going to be rough following last week’s gut-wrencher and shocker, but Southland delivered yet another weekly punch in the stomach (and we mean that in a good way). We expected a big, sad funeral scene for Nate, but that’s not what we got. The funeral was mentioned and pictures of Nate were hung around the police station in some scenes, but the show went on with the struggles of other cops. This episode featured the Santa Ana winds. This is just windy weather that the cops find foreboding and that causes fires to spread quickly.

We got to see a little more of John Cooper. His father, a rapist and murderer, had a parole hearing coming up. This upset Cooper. Also, he probably needs to consult a doctor about surgery for his back, which still hurts. Cooper arrested a guy who was on prescription medication for pain and was driving under the influence of said medication. Thinking that Cooper had arrested the guy in order to pocket some of the guy’s pills, Ben counted them as he put them into evidence. Cooper saw him and got pissed. Cooper and Ben also helped a dog owner free her pet from the clutches of a neighbor’s snake. We got to see that Cooper was a huge dog person. That made us like him more.

His softer side also came out when he took care of an abandoned preteen boy whose parents had left him. Cooper played video games with the boy at the police station and gave the kid his phone number, just in case he needed anything. The boy hugged Cooper and we all said, “Awwww.” But, because Southland is realistic, it didn’t end on a touchy-feely note. The boy ran away from his foster home and was hauled back to the station. He sort of begged Cooper to adopt him. Obviously an angry, gay, single, cop in emotional and physical pain can’t handle a delinquent black youth right now, so he said, “I did all I could do” and walked away. The boy shouted, “F*** you!” and we chuckled at the show even as we were a little heartbroken.

Another boy around that age called the cops and reported his mother for child abuse. The mother had spanked him with her belt because he ditched school. Ben and Cooper showed up. Angry at the boy for not appreciating his decent mother (after the abandoned black kid and Cooper’s own father rained on Cooper’s parental parade), Cooper reamed the kid and said that if the kid ditched school again, Cooper would come back and beat him with a belt too. The mother must have been thinking, “wtf?” Ben wished her a nice day and followed Cooper back to the car. Awkward moment.

At his parole hearing, Cooper’s father testified that he had completed college, gone through counseling, and learned that everyone is worthy of forgiveness. Cooper stood up and spoke for the victim, saying, “Someone’s daughter never got to go to college. Never got to get married. Never got to raise a family” and then talked about the victim’s last moments. He ended with, “I grew up with this man….and my father should stay in here until the day he dies.” You could feel the tension in that scene. Then Cooper almost got in a car crash and spilled some of his pain pills on the ground. He screamed and cried in frustration. Also, he had to go to Nate’s funeral that week.

Lydia and her partner had a rape case to investigate, and each cop didn’t care for the way the other cop was handling it. As it turns out, the victim was lying to cover up her cheating ways and had pinned it on a Hispanic gardener she didn’t like. We knew the gardener was innocent from the moment we saw him, because he was good-looking. This was an interesting case though.

We didn’t get to see Sammy, so we guess the show is saving his issues for later. Dewey is getting funnier, rather than just annoying. Also, no Chickie this week. The episode totally belonged to Cooper.

This is possibly the best cop show of all time.

Episode grade: A-

V - Unholy Alliance recap/review

After weeks of sucking and ruining our TV lives, V got better this week. We’ve started to care about Father Jack a little bit. Anna still isn’t scary, and Erica’s son still needs to die, but one character we care about is better than none. We admire Father Jack's principles and unwavering determination to speak out against the Visitors. That said, we hope he compromises those priestly principles soon and has sex with Erica.

In the beginning of the episode, a bunch of peace ambassadors were killed and strung up like Mussolini. Erica was called to the crime scene and started unmasking them frantically, hoping that they weren’t Tyler. Sadly, it was another fake out. Tyler was alive and ticked. He ransacked Father Jack’s church and spray-painted a V on the church wall for revenge. Erica found out because Tyler dropped his phone in the church (that he was using to video tape his vandalism). She cried and said, “This is not the son I raised.” Umm, where have you been, Erica? Your son has always been a little weenie.

Erica got a new partner that she used to be her friend. Her new partner thought that Father Jack was involved with the Fifth Column, due to all the confrontations involving him. Erica and her partner went to question Father Jack, and Erica told her partner that this was the first time she had talked to him in a while. Her partner dug up surveillance of her meeting Father Jack and touching him on the arm just a few days ago, so he knows she is lying. And he is investigating her (that’s why they brought him in). Erica would never suspect her old buddy. We like this storyline…

The Fifth Column found the anti-V terrorist, Eli Cohen. They teamed up with him once Eli revealed that he knew that the V’s planned to breed with the humans. His wife and son had been experimented on by the V’s. Together, they came up with a plan to catch the people who killed the peace ambassadors and used them as scapegoats for Malik’s murder. Erica led the FBI to Eli Cohen’s cabin in the woods (the standard living arrangement for a terrorist) where Malik’s nasty body had been conveniently placed.

Chad and Anna headed off to the Vatican to get the full support of the Catholic Church. Anna figured out that one of the Cardinals was a Visitor who was sent years ago to research the source of human emotions for Diana. He told Anna that the soul is immortal. Anna took him back to the ship, but he would only give his information to Diana, his true queen. He told Diana (in front of Anna) that the soul was the greatest blessing the Visitors could attain. Anna said that she would torture more information out of the man in order to find out how to destroy the soul. So, with the Cardinal’s blessing, Diana bit him on the neck and killed him. Anna said, “Congratulations, mother. You just killed your only ally” and walked off.

Anna asked the Vatican to bar all priests from speaking out against the Visitors in any way. Ok, that’s a scary, totalitarian, and completely wrong thing to ask. When the Cardinals turned her Hitler-esque request down, Anna flashed some blue energy around a statue and threatened them. She said that if she performs enough miracles through her science, the people of the world would shun Catholicism in favor of worshipping her. But rather than trust that truth and faith would win out, the Cardinals caved for fear of losing their power and influence. Chad reported that the Catholic Church had now forbidden all anti-V rhetoric. Father Jack vowed to continue speaking out against them. By embracing the age-old (yet still powerful) theme of standing against evil and censorship, and by giving us someone to put Erica in serious hot-water, the show made us care, for once.

Episode Grade: a solid B

Gossip Girl - Damien Darko recap/review

Blair Waldorf started an internship at W magazine, thinking she was the only one with the job. The best of the best. Yet there were a bunch of other girls there too….and Dan Humphrey. Dan was impressing everyone, being a straight, good-looking, and smart guy working at a fashion magazine. Rather than share the internship like normal people, Dan and Blair made a deal that each of them would bring a writer to the magazine’s next big party. The writer who was chosen to write in the magazine would decide who would quit W magazine and who would stay. Dan and Blair’s deal included a “no sabotage” provision, but Dan sabotaged Blair anyway.

Blair stuck by the deal, because she and Dan have been hanging out and she thought that they were sort of friends. At the party, they started pushing and pulling each other, and this ended with them wrestling on the dance floor. They were both fired. Dan called W magazine and told them that he tried to sabotage Blair and that it was all his fault. He lied a little to cover Blair’s tail too. Blair got her job back and proclaimed to her supervisor that she and Dan had never been friends. All of this was the highlight of the episode. Dan is a lot more fun when Blair is picking at him. Plus, we got to find out that Blair’s kindergarten yearbook quote was, “The best defense is a good offense.” But the best line of the episode was when Dan claimed he couldn't be distracted, and Blair answered, "Oh look! Georgina's baby!" before snatching something from him.

Chuck found out that Daddy Thorpe hired The Captain (Mr. Archibald). Chuck was ticked, because both Nate and The Captain are living with him. Chuck asked Raina for a personal favor: to fire The Captain. Raina didn’t appreciate the games and ended her relationship with Chuck. Chuck got her back though, and The Captain moved out. Chuck Bass is boring us. Without his smoking hot relationship with Blair, he's just a pathetic troll face played by a man who thinks that whispering every line is good acting.

Eric is in deep water. He was dumped by his boyfriend and has been getting pills (including Adderall and sleeping aids) and maybe more from Damien Dalgaard, that guy who sold Juliet the drugs to poison Serena. Serena found out about Eric hanging out with Damien and was concerned, but she was more concerned with ex-convict and new crush, Ben. She sort of ditched the Eric situation to try to help Ben. Ben was living in a halfway house full of convicts. Lily tried to pay him $30,000 to leave town, but Ben sent it back with a note – “Keep your blood money, and I will stay away from you for free.” Eric had the second-best line of the episode: "Mom paid someone off again? We should make this a drinking game."

Ben told Serena that he wasn’t interested in a relationship with her…before or now. As a favor to Serena, Rufus gave Ben a key to the loft so that he could live there. Ben went after Damien and told him to stay away from Eric. Damien marveled at the fact that Ben actually does have feelings for Serena, a fact that Damien was able to read from Ben’s face. Genius Damien. Evil genius. Damien ended the episode with a call to Eric, asking to hang out with him.

We find ourselves not caring about Eric. We never really did. We find ourselves thinking that Ben is not hot enough, Serena is pathetic, and Lily is a bit evil. Damien needs to get a lot more evil to be a proper Big Bad. Also, we don’t care much about Chuck possibly losing his empire to the Thorpes. Who cares about his dad’s legacy? His dad was a jerk to Chuck. Who cares about Chuck being rich? It would be better for Chuck’s character and personal life if he lost all of his money and had to get a job. If we care about Chuck, and we do, we actually want him to lose his identity based on his empire. At least there is no Vanessa anymore. We miss Jenny though.

The only thing we were watching carefully was Dan and Blair developing their budding friendship. How is it that Dan Humphrey is carrying this show right now?

Episode Grade: C+

Pretty Little Liars - If At First You Don't Succeed, Lie, Lie Again recap/review

Aria realized that the picture the girls received of Alison walking through her yard was taken from Alison’s bedroom. This intrigued stupid Aria so much that she stayed up all night thinking about it. We know that most of you think that A is Mona, Alison (that she’s not really dead), or Melissa Hastings (or Melissa whatever-Ian’s-last-name-is), but wouldn’t it be fantastic if it were Aria? What if Aria was an evil genius with a master plan, and that she was only pretending to be useless? Spencer took the photo to Alison’s brother, Jason, to ask if he took it. He admitted that he could have and told Spencer that he would show the photo to the family’s private investigator to see if it was fake. He told Spencer that he didn’t remember what he did that night because he spent most of that year getting high with Ian.

Aria set up a date with Ezra Fitz that would take place in another town, at an art show. First of all, Life Unexpected did that first. Second of all, an art show? We like art, but it doesn’t exactly scream “hot date for your guy.” Spencer figured out where the bracelets were made. You know those bracelets with their names on them? Alison had one? Or maybe two? So Spencer went to find out who A was, because A made a few to taunt the girls. Spencer went to the home of a Mrs. Garrett, an old woman who ran a jewelry shop out of her house. Mrs. Garrett checked her records and said that the bracelets were purchased by a “Spencer Hastings.” Spencer was creeped out.

Mrs. Potter, the old woman that Hanna’s mom stole money from, notified the bank to say that she was coming for a visit way too early. Ashley Marin (the mom) was freaking out and getting teary, but she tried her best to keep Hanna out of it. Hanna got a Mother’s Day card from A with a drawing of a mother and daughter frolicking through a field together and a drawn-in speech bubble coming out of the mom’s mouth that said, “I Need Money!” Inside the card was a ticket to the art show Aria and Ezra would be going to, and a message that said A would save Ashley if Hanna would arrange for the inappropriate pansies to get caught by Aria’s mother. Ern shrieked and cackled with glee. But then Spencer gave a mini speech (in a class on World War II) about how you can’t give into bullies, so Hanna tried to warn Aria not to go on her date. Aria accused Hanna of being jealous. As if. Hanna has lots of guys after her, and they are her own age and way cooler than Ezra Fitz. At least they have personality. At least HANNA has a personality, unlike Aria. Seriously, Hanna is one of the wittiest, most enjoyable young female characters on TV right now.

So Aria went on her date. She wore a red dress that did her already pretty self a LOT of favors. He was hot too. Ahhh, if only the “Chester the Molester” around the corner was this hot in real life. Sadly, he is not. He is just nasty and wrong. Ezra got a limo for them to take, and Aria is young and insipid enough to not think that was cliche. But hey! Dark windows makes for more convenient molesting.

That guy who helped reprogram Emily’s phone last week, Caleb the technology nerd, has been paying attention to Hanna. There was some definite bantering going on. Caleb decided to help Hanna by breaking Aria’s mom’s car so that she couldn’t get to the art show. Ella Montgomery (Aria’s mom) had to get a ride with her ex-husband, and they ended up making out in front of the art show, rather than catching their daughter getting taken advantage of by an authority figure. Hanna also caught a lucky break when Mrs. Potter had a heart attack right before her appointment. It seems that A didn’t give Hanna any money back for Hanna’s attempt at a bad deed. Either A found out that Hanna tried to sabotage Aria’s demise, or A gave Mrs. Potter a heart attack.

Emily had trouble with a teammate on the swim team named Paige (Kat from the tv version of 10 Things I Hate About You!! - One of us was very excited for this), who didn’t like her record getting beaten down by Emily’s athleticism. She made a comment about Emily being gay, and Emily told Spencer. Spencer wanted someone to put Paige in her place, so she told Emily’s coach. Emily didn’t appreciate this and told Spencer that she could take care of herself. Spencer retorted that Emily couldn’t stand up for herself when Alison bullied her, and Emily got even more mad. Near the end of the episode, Paige pushed Emily’s head down under the water several times while Emily was trying to get out of the pool after doing some laps. BATTERY. Seriously, that’s over the line and Paige could have gotten suspended for that, at least. But it seems that Spencer is right about Emily, because Emily just rolled over and let it go. Well, Emily told Paige off a little. But she could have (and should have) done more. This show should just end with someone giving Spencer a sword, having her hack down everyone in her path, and then having her just run off to join the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad or something. Because Spencer is awesome.

Spencer confessed to the girls that she was the shadow following Alison in the picture. Minutes before it was taken, Alison had confronted Spencer about making out with Ian (despite his relationship with Melissa). Alison said, “I made you, Spencer,” talking about how Spencer was a just an unpopular nerd before Alison discovered her. Spencer threatened Alison, saying that Alison might be nothing without her posse, should they choose to ditch Alison. Spencer said that Alison was dead to her. Alison walked out and Spencer followed her. Spencer felt guilty because she had sort of wished death on Alison, and Spencer shed a few tears as she told the girls about it. We wouldn’t have. Alison was a tool. Then the four girls looked out the window and saw Jason walking around in Alison’s old bedroom and got freaked out, and justifiably so because that was creepy, seeing as how it's not his family's house anymore. The episode ended with the old lady at her home/jewelry store, and she was talking to A, saying that she told Spencer the lie she was instructed to give. She also said something creepy about eyes being the window to the soul and A having interesting eyes. Cue every fangirl in the fandom slow-motioning episodes, looking for strange eyes on characters. We doubt that will help, ladies.

There was blogger disagreement on this episode. Ern thought it was cheap the way they keep dangling the idea of Ezra/Aria getting caught and then not delivering. AGAIN. Plus, Hanna’s mom’s theft ended too neatly. This was definitely a filler episode in Ern’s mind. Leeard enjoyed Hanna’s storyline, loving that A is trying to make a rift in the group and made Hanna rat Aria out. Leeard thought it was a great set-up for future storylines. The episode gave a little more insight into A, taught us more about Caleb and Jason, and started some potentially interesting complications among some of the girls. Also, it continued the awesomeness that is Hanna and Spencer. And including a Justin Bieber joke guarantees at least a B from Leeard.

Leeard’s Grade: B+
Ern’s Grade: C- (the show still rocks though)