Weeds - Bags review

Weeds has reinvented itself again with these same characters…many of whom readers and viewers of the show have lost all sympathy for. Nancy has been in jail for three years. She hasn’t even served half her sentence when she is released out of gratitude from the FBI agent she helped last season.

Why the light sentence for the murder of Pilar? Well, she pled manslaughter/self-defense. Nancy had a lesbian lover in prison. This is unsurprising, because not even women can resist the sexiest mom of all time, especially in prison where men are not an option. Also, it seems like everyone on TV is getting a lesbian lover nowadays.

The rest of the Botwin clan are just as weird, but less entertaining, without Nancy. Of course, they are all going to leave their cool, carefree lives in Copenhagen to come enable Nancy to be a very inept criminal again. She’s doing something with hand grenades and other weapons right now, for her jail lover. That sounds more compelling than selling weed….again.

Also, Silas as a male model? That FINALLY happened. Good job, show. Finally doing something realistic. Shane is more bearable. Andy is about a thousand times lamer. He’s a tour guide. Still in love with Nancy too. Baby Stevie is all grown up and so cute! But he calls his mom “Nancy.” It’s Nancy’s jerk sister’s fault.

Let us now mourn for Esteban Reyes, the serial spanker and gangster from the last two seasons, who the FBI agent tells us was found dead in prison. We are sad about this. He brought some real danger to the show. Also, he was pretty hot. Say it ain’t so. Maybe.

Who knows if the right body was identified or if someone covered for Esteban/it’s all a conspiracy. It’s possible. He could show up at the end of this season. But, then again, the actor has been doing lots of movie roles, so he’s probably busy. But what an anticlimactic way to get rid of what was probably the show’s biggest villain. Andy should have gotten to shoot him or something.

It might be this show’s last season. While it moves swiftly and has gotten less pretentious, it might be time to end it after this year. It has never been a chore to watch, but it is far from a favorite. And Walter White is simply the superior TV drug dealer. Nancy is kind of a moron.

This was a predictable, average start to the season. The only remarkable thing about this episode was the awesome catch Shane made when his ex-lover threw his laptop at us. The fact that she was an old puppeteer and wanted to be impregnated didn't even make us blink. It's Shane. Of course that's his girlfriend.

Episode grade: C+

True Blood - She's Not There review

We love the song “She’s Not There”! It was featured in the closing credits too. Anyway, the season four premiere actually had a lot going on. Thankfully, there was a one-year time jump so the characters who were just mopey and lame (Bill, Tara) are interesting again.

When we left Sookie Stackhouse, she was in the land of the faeries. She spent what felt like fifteen minutes there, but apparently time is different on another plane, so when she got back to the normal world, more than a year had passed. Sookie must be special, because she is the only part-faerie who figured out that it was dangerous for part humans to stay in faerieland. Unrealistic. She grabbed her grandfather (who was also there) and escaped. Queen Mab showed up, and she was ugly. Some ugly bat dudes appeared and randomly helped Sookie escape. Sookie’s grandfather died once he got back to earth, because he had eaten the faery fruit.

So….yeah….that was that. The best that can be said about those events is that they happened quickly. The show didn’t waste too much of our time on such stupidity. Or maybe that’s the WORST thing that can be said about it. It felt really rushed and it made little sense. After all the faerie build-up, we are a little annoyed at how that panned out.

Sookie returned to find out that Eric bought her house so that she would be “his.” He stole Bill’s “Sookie is mine” line, only he butchered it. Jason is way less annoying than he has ever been and seems like a decent cop. His backwoods creepo were-panthers locked him in a freezer though. He’s still hanging out with them and caring for them even though Crystal is gone. Andy is still annoying.

Bill and Eric have been trying to clean up the vampire community’s reputation post-Russell, and they are particularly smooth at it. Seriously, we would listen to them. And vote for them. And sleep with them. Pam tried, but she came off as super-stiff and fake. Kind of like…nope….we’re not going to go there. No politics. But we are voting for Romney, in case you were wondering.

Bill and everyone else thought that Sookie was dead, but Eric “never gave up on” her and has to remind Sookie of that a LOT, as if denial makes him a much more attractive option than everyone else she loves. Bill and Sookie remain broken up (good), Bill is the new vampire king (too bad we didn’t get to see him fight the queen), and he is dating Andy’s sister Portia. Way to move on quickly.

Jesus is trying to get Lafayette to embrace his witch powers and keeps taking him to a Wiccan coven that contains Petunia Dursley from the Harry Potter movies. She does not have a British accent in this, but we are still pretty sure that it’s her. We guess her latent witch powers for which she envied her sister Lily finally surfaced. She must have shunned Hogwarts for some middle school goth’s backyard and some serious drugs though. She is looking scarier than ever, bringing dead birds back to life, and channeling dead Eddie (who used to sleep with Lafayette). We’re kind of impressed with her acting skills. She’s weird. And she will be sticking around. This is the year of the witch. Honestly, we kind of wish Lafayette had died in season two like he was supposed to. And we preferred Jesus on Southland.

Tara is now some ultimate fighter dating a beautiful lesbian martial arts master. We find this superior to everyone else Tara has ever been involved with. The lesbian lover doesn’t know Tara’s real name or where she grew up. Tara is kind of a liar right now. We still find her useless.

Tommy has replaced Hoyt, living with Hoyt’s mom and taking care of him. It’s really funny. Jessica and Hoyt fight a lot and even that just turns out to be adorable and purehearted. Sam found some friends who share his same powers. He was really mad at Sookie and is far from the mopey nice guy he started out as on this show. Arlene’s baby seems to be a devil baby. He ripped the heads off of Barbie dolls. Arlene is more concerned than Terry, and we are not concerned at all.

So, to recap: Tara, Andy, Lafayette, Bill, Arlene, and Crystal still annoy us. Sam and Jesus just started annoying us. We still like Pam, Hoyt, Jessica, Eric (yum), Terry, and Hoyt’s crazy mom. We just started liking Petunia Dursley, Portia, and Jason Stackhouse. We go back and forth on Sookie. Where was Alcide?

This show is such a mixed bag. But we like the way things are heading. New positions for Bill, single Sookie, and creepy witches. It has to be better than last year, right? Fans of the show should be pleased with this premiere. It's more of the same, only different enough to still be interesting. This season has been hyped like crazy. It needs to come through.

Episode grade: B+

We hope you're ready for everyone to be called "Dawg" again and for 16-year-old girls to get creeped upon....

Because Randy Jackson and Steven Tyler have been confirmed for the next season of American Idol. J-Lo is still on the fence.

Randy is the most useless judge of any season (except for maybe Ellen), and he needs to realize that everyone wants him gone. Just go retire and live your life, dawg. He always has an agenda too.

Tyler spends most of his time in a stupor, using nonsense sayings and cursing. When he snaps out of it and becomes coherent, he's useful though. And he knows how to pick good contestants.

Still, this show should cycle in new judges every year since Cowell is gone.

The Glee Project - Young Misfits Compete to Be the Next Character to Annoy Us on Glee!

We are so glad that Emily got kicked off, because she’s the fakest faker who ever faked, except for maybe Lindsey. She had a real moment when she talked about how she was used sexually by music producers but overall, we weren’t digging the schtick. We don’t think she lied about her past, but we don’t think we have to like her because something bad happened to her.

We liked Damien’s sign that said “Numb” because it’s relatable to a lot of people who go to a job they don’t like, punch in and punch out, and then go home to have a few beers, go to sleep and repeat the cycle. There are very few people living lives that they are passionate about, and most people do go through their days just trying to get by and not tick other people off, doing what is expected.

We thought it was blunt and admirably honest for Hannah to pick “fat.” It’s sort of what everyone is thinking, and she just addressed it, putting it out there. We really liked the contestants’ "Mad World" cover and video. We’re digging Cameron right now. We like his voice and how secure he is. He wasn’t holding back some secret or emotion. He just really is mature and well-adjusted. Damien and Cameron should not have been in the bottom two. They were fine. At least we got to see them do solos.

We wonder if Cameron’s admission that he is a Christian will help or hurt him. Ideally, we think it should neither help nor hurt him in the contest, but that’s not always the case in political show business. On the one hand, Ryan Murphy was more than fair to religious people and Christians in his season two religion episode. On the other, Christians aren’t the coolest group in town right now, and most of them aren’t supportive of the homosexual lifestyle. And Glee? Well, duh.

Cameron did a nice version of "Your Song", but it was true that it had little emotion. Ryan Murphy says the person that this show picked is “perfect” for Glee. We wonder if they will be well-received and get more than the guaranteed seven episodes. Not a lot of people are watching The Glee Project. It is possible that people are just “Glee’d out” and want a break for the summer. We think the more probably reason is that no one wants the “real” world to collide with their fictional show. If you know the actor in real life, it might ruin the fantasy of the Glee world to have to pretend they are just a character.

Favorites: Cameron, Hannah, McKynleigh

Pottermore

A week ago, J.K. Rowling started teasing us all via the internet and dropping clues about a new project she has completed. Coordinates led to letters that spelled “Pottermore.” If you went to the pottermore site it has a drawing of an owl and writing that said “coming soon.” An announcement was promised. Now, that announcement is here. But we still don’t know much about it.

We know that it will be a web site that includes e-books and more information about the Harry Potter world. We read that it will “combine social networking elements with an immersive game-like world.” We really hope that this turns out epic, rather than childish, simple, and lame. Rowling needs to be aware that many of her biggest fans are in their 20s. We want a World of Warcraft level universe online, not a few piddly games. (Ok, one of us does. One of us thinks that WoW and such games are beyond nerdy and a complete waste of time.)

The full site will open in October, but a million people will gain early entry if they “follow the owl” and complete a challenge that begins on July 31. We read that profits will go to charity. We really want more information. What we really want is for this woman to write another book, but we will take what we can get.

Watch J.K. Rowling’s short announcement video for yourself.

For more info and some pictures of the site, go here: http://www.mugglenet.com/app/news/show/4467

Four Decent Movies (with Good Acting) That Will Bum You Out + Thoughts on the Netflix Queue

It’s time to start digging into our Netflix queues. They’ve gotten too long, and need to be trimmed down into submission. The thing about a Netflix queue is that it inevitably has a bunch of crap that you never really wanted to watch on it (especially the instant queue). People recommend stuff and you just stick it in there, because why not? A Netflix queue is also full of stuff you didn’t want to see in theaters or admit to other people that you wanted to see.

It’s the place of Transformers movies, cliché romantic comedies, and really messed-up indie films. Stuff like The Human Centipede is available on there for your instant enjoyment. Sometimes we add movies just because there's a hot guy in them. We know the movie is going to suck, but at least there will be eye candy, right? An Instant Netflix queue is a weird place. Of course, Netflix is great for TV. Lots of decent shows stream instantly. Scrubs, Ugly Betty, 24, the first season of Prison Break, Grey’s Anatomy, the British version of Skins and much more. That’s not even including what’s available by mail. Netflix is seriously the best ten bucks a month we’ve ever spent.

Yesterday, Tsotsi and Blue Valentine came in the mail for one of us, so that’s what one blogger will be doing this weekend. Recently, we watched four movies that are out on DVD. They are all at least a little dark. We wouldn’t say any of them are feel-good movies. That’s why we didn’t see them in theaters. None of our friends want to go out in a group to get thoroughly shat upon, emotionally.

1. The Kids Are All Right - Pure Oscar bait, because it’s about a family with two lesbian moms and two kids brought about by a sperm donor. The kids decide to meet the sperm donor and the family gets shaken up. This is one of the most overrated movies we’ve ever seen. If it were about a straight couple that used a sperm donor, the movie would have passed largely unnoticed by anyone. It’s pretty good, and the acting is great. It has positive portrayals of family, honesty, and forgiveness.

The main reason to see this would be to see Josh Hutcherson, future Peeta in The Hunger Games, in case you are curious as to whether he will be good enough or cute enough in that role. Our verdict? He will be just fine. The family in this movie is strong and you will care about them. The movie makes it clear who is a part of the family and who isn’t. But some of the scenes are just so sad and awkward. It isn’t awkward because of the sex or lesbianism, but because of the fact that you just want everyone to get along and they often do not. It’s like watching the fighting in Revolutionary Road. It wears you out. This is not to suggest that this movie is anywhere near as depressing as Revolutionary Road, because what is?

Movie grade: B

Instant Netflix? No, normal Netflix only.

2. Fish Tank - We got this movie due to the refreshing of our Michael Fassbender obsession. We readily admit most of our obsessions on this blog and this is no exception. The dude can seriously act. It’s almost enough to make us watch that stupid 300 movie again. (It was fun at the time, but once is enough). We don’t know how it’s possible, but he was better in Fish Tank than he was in X-Men: First Class. The girl playing the main character, Mia, was also good, even though she was not a professional actress. She was discovered fighting with her boyfriend at a train station and was offered the part. Too bad a pregnancy derailed her budding acting career. We hope she gets back into it. This movie is about a girl living in a poor area with a mom who takes no interest in her life or dreams. Then her mom starts dating Michael Fassbender’s irresponsible, oddly likable character and the 15-year-old develops quite the little crush on him, because he’s actually nice to her.

This movie has been called the British version of Precious, but we think it’s more entertaining. It’s not a redemption story either. It’s a coming-of-age story. Mia has a bad temper and a slick mouth. She’s not an angel like Precious, but you still feel for Mia just as much, if not more. Because if you have a bully for a mother, you are not going to be a nice, well-adjusted person as a teen. It’s not as melodramatic either. Sure, there is a lot of drama, but it feels more realistic. There are some funny bits too. Some people don't like sex in their movies, so if that sounds like you, steer clear. There is sex. The main warning for this movie is that it’s gut-wrenching. You may get depressed. Whether you do or not, this is a movie that sticks with you. No one gets AIDS though, so that’s good. That makes it happier than Precious. We’re rating this high, because we like movies that you still think about days later.

Movie grade: A

Instant Netflix? Yes. Stream this mofo.

3. Rabbit Hole - This is a movie about a couple dealing with the loss of their four-year-old son. You know if you want to watch a movie about that. One thing we found interesting was the determination of the writers to completely secularize the grief experience. The wife was not interested in any “God stuff” and wrote him off as abusive for letting bad things happen. This is understandable. The movie decided that there needed to be some hope, or it would be too bleak, so it briefly entertained the idea of parallel universes (the go-to concept for atheist spirituality beyond this world). It's as if the writers knew that no flirtation with spiritual concepts in a movie like this would render the whole thing bleak.

The movie wanted to explore grief devoid of easy fixes like, “It’s just a part of God’s plan and God needed another angel.” Which is awesome, but the spiritual side can be explored in a deeper way than what we see most of the time on-screen. Most of the time with movie spirituality, you see a miracle, an angel visiting earth to have sex with the main female character, some canned line, a simple message from a Hallmark card, or a gospel song. With the number of religious people in the world, this would have been a great opportunity for contrast and exploration of spirituality and grief. The husband, for example, could have used the idea of God to help him while the wife rejected it. It would have added more, we think. Any spiritual person who has ever lost someone can tell you what a powerful, changing time that can be in someone's life.

The husband and wife dealt with their grief differently and separately. The marriage was at risk throughout the movie. And speaking of awkward fights, there are some bad ones here. Mostly good acting though, with a Sandra Oh character nothing like Cristina Yang, and a good ending. We liked that the characters were often unsympathetic here too. We kind of wanted to see some sex in this movie, because it felt like it was needed for the marriage.

Movie grade: B

Instant Netflix? No, but it's not good enough to get by mail. Wait for streaming.

4. Dogtooth - Is your sense of humor darker than dark? Do you want a dead-serious, thoughtful, smart movie that will also make you laugh your twisted pants off? Then look no further. One of us has a cousin who brought this over. We will give you the premise: A really controlling father has kept his children on his property all their lives, keeping their childlike minds intact up to adulthood. He says that they are allowed to leave when their dogtooth falls out (either of their canines), which will obviously never happen.

The main warning about this movie is that it features lots of sex. It’s a Greek film, so there are subtitles. Watch it with people with similarly dark senses of humor and tough minds, and you will sure to have inside jokes for years to come. With a different ending, this would have been an A. Not that the ending is terrible; it’s good. It just might have been better. This is the most recommendable movie on this list, if this sounds like your kind of thing and you don't mind sex and nudity.

Movie Grade: A-

Instant Netflix? Yes.

Meh

Now that we have seen the first two episodes of The Nine Lives of Chloe King, we’re going to weigh in on it. It’s not bad. One of us thinks it's one of the best things on that channel. It’s summertime, so there is a relative TV drought. However, this is not as good as Buffy, Pretty Little Liars, The Vampire Diaries, or other teen shows up this alley. Heck, it's not even as good as Make It or Break It.

Frankly, we’ve got other stuff to watch. We’re sure you’ve noticed that our schedules are full. We aren’t hurting for things to watch. In fact, we doubt that we will ever be caught up on things we want to watch. Forget TV, you should see the size of our Netflix queues. We are going to be picky with new shows, because we just can’t be adding substandard stuff to our schedules.

The good things about the show: The main girl, Chloe, is cute and likeable. There are a few cute guys. It’s not boring. Chloe’s mom is cool. One of Chloe’s best friends is funny. There is some mystery already. It’s adequate entertainment for teens. It’s not going to become your next obsession, even if you are a teenager, but it’s something teens will probably watch if it’s on.

The bad things about the show: Chloe is a little stupid and irrational. Her emotions cause her to feel guilty for things that aren’t her fault and put herself in danger. Also, they keep her from going to the people with answers, getting a plan, and facing up to her new powers. We have enough female heroines like this. Also, Leeard thinks her laugh is annoying. The characters don’t act like real people. Chloe’s friends don’t react to her plight like teenagers would. The show failed to suck us in. So what if Chloe is special and that means someone wants to kill her? When WE sometimes want to kill her, that cuts down the tension significantly. Add that to the fact that you have to kill her nine times and she's pretty tough. That's not a risk. It’s not really original or funny either. And it's kind of dumb.

Bottom Line: It’s not terrible. It’s just not good enough for us to spend the time on.

Episode one grade: B-

Episode two grade: C-

Overall grade: C

Also, how photoshopped is that promo photo they put out? It doesn't even look like that girl.

Glee Season Three News

As much as we don't believe anything Ryan Murphy says after he said that Rachel and Finn would be together for all of season two, these statements about season three gave us pause.

1) He said that there will be fewer songs per episode.

This is such a mistake. We are hopping mad. It's hard enough to get our favorite singers doing enough songs already when they are split up between everyone on the show. Why does Ryan Murphy think we watch Glee? It's not for the plot or the characters. It's for the music. And sometimes the one-liners.

2) He said that there will be no guest stars except for one tribute episode that he's been working on getting for a while.

Ok, we will accept that. Getting rid of the flashy guest star episodes can only help the show.

3) He said that the seniors on the show will graduate. Unless they are pulling straight Fs, like Brittany. There will be lots of new kid characters to ease us in.

Good luck getting us to buy those soundtracks if Rachel leaves the school .... When asked if they could graduate but stay on the show, he said, "I don't think I like that idea."

The United States of Tara ends

We feel like we have really wasted our lives with this show. Maybe the writers didn’t know that it was going to be cancelled in season three, but with their numbers, they had to know that it was a possibility. They couldn’t film an ending scene or two to use for closure’s sake? And just use an alternate ending in the event that there was a season four?

The series finale ended just before the series would have gotten interesting. Why? Because Kate is settled down with a boyfriend who loves her, Marshall is just going to finish school and film stuff, and, best of all, Charmaine is marrying Neil and possibly moving to Texas. It would be a lot harder for the show to waste our lives with these characters.

Tara headed off to Boston with her husband to see a really good specialist. This is where we would have started loving this show like we did in season one. We want to see that therapy. We want to see her get better, merge the alters, eliminate some alters, get some new ones, and bum around with other mentally ill people. But alas. That would have been a lot harder to write. They might have had to pick up a psych book or two to get some material.

Season two was uneven and boring. We would recommend only season one, but there is even less closure there. With the way this show ended and the lackluster episodes that did not focus on Tara, we wouldn’t recommend this show to any newcomers renting DVDs. Toni Collette acted well in it and it was a great concept, but, in the end, this is just a bunch of wasted opportunity.

While the ending we were given was hopeful, ambiguous, and realistic, this isn't the sort of show that we wanted to end on uncertainty. We are left to imagine a real ending ourselves. Tara kills herself? Tara leaves Max and the family to live her own life and stop bothering them? Tara’s evil alter kills Charmaine and does us all a favor? Tara gets better? Tara gets rid of all of the alters except Alice, because she cleans? Buck takes over the body and goes back to that very confused woman in the bar? We will never know. And we’ve stopped caring.

Season one grade: A-
Season two grade: D+
Season three grade: C+

Pretty Little Liars - The Goodbye Look review. Plus, news about when A will be revealed

So, we just read that A will not be revealed this season. In fact, A will probably stay a mystery until the series finale. While the books had multiple As, so far, the creator is thinking of just having one A on the show. We’re bummed, but as long as there is another mystery sometime, we will be fine with it. Maybe give us a different murder to solve after the Alison thing is wrapped up?

In this episode, Jason DiLaurentis came back. Sort of. He’s played by a different actor. He is probably going to play another love interest for Aria, so he has to look younger, right? He’s back to find out what happened with his old friend Ian and to be mean to dogs. He’s no fan of Alison’s, because she stole some of his stuff, apparently. He’s acting weird and suspicious, which is quite a change for a character on this show. He’s hiding something. That’s why he’s building a fence, duh. The girls wonder if he is trying to keep people out or keep someone in. We hope it’s the second thing, because that sounds more fun.

The girls aren’t allowed to hang out anymore, due to their shrink’s advice. A is happy about that, texting “Look at you, all alone in a crowd. I win!” When they reveal the identity of A, we are going to need to know why A hates the girls so much. They seem pretty harmless. However, we'd like to point out that they spent the entire episode talking to each other about how they weren't allowed to see each other anymore. Obviously it's working out well. We found out that Alison like to steal and hoard things and then bury them in her yard or hide them throughout the house. She was such a lovely girl. One wishes she were alive to cause live drama. But alas, we have only the memory of this modern-day bad seed.

Toby got a construction job and is working toward a GED. As soon as he saves up money, he can escape his house and not have to live with rapist Jenna anymore, right? Wrong. He got fired on his first day because of his bad reputation. We like Toby, but one of us doesn't think he’s good enough for Spencer. Also, we think he is going to snap soon.

Emily had a date with Samara and found a way to stay in Rosewood. She is probably going to forge a letter from a college recruiter saying that Emily will get a sports scholarship if she continues to train in town. Hanna’s dad is back and trying to be helpful. We are glad that she forgave Mona, but there is a CALEB she needs to forgive soon.

Ezra and Aria were fighting again because Aria is insecure. Also, Aria’s forehead is annoyingly tiny. But she has great hair. But her shoes are ridiculous. You remember the ones she stepped on the broken glass with? Yeah, those ones.

Someone broke into Spencer’s house and pushed Aria on their way out. The girls think it was Ian. It seems he was looking for Spencer, possibly to try to kill her again. Someone has been stealing camping gear and erased the liars’ computer data too. Melissa has been sneaking out to show Ian her ultrasound results. None of this was explicitly confirmed as being Ian, but it’s more likely than not.

The best thing ever happened: Aria broke up with Ezra! Via note! Because he stood her up for a meeting to talk about their future in order to meet with the board of his college. Ezra’s secret goodbye speech to Aria in front of the class was really sweet, but those kids are idiots for not realizing it was a romantic one. Aria running into Ezra’s empty classroom to the sound of dramatic music was lame. Then she ran out into the school parking lot as he was leaving. They kissed a lot and it was very boring and all kinds of cliché. The camera turned in circles and went close up to their faces. There was loud ballad music. And no one saw them. On school property. Making out. These are the luckiest pervs in the land. Does that mean the break-up is off? Nooooooooooo. Jackie Molina! We need you, girl. When we see more of you, you had better be the slut of our dreams.

This episode felt a little meandering to one of us. At least we found out that A likes dogs! The other blogger thinks a lot happened. This episode featured “Can’t Go Back Now” by The Weepies, which is a song we like, but also a song that was used in the Life Unexpected season one finale in a very big moment for that show. We think that if a show uses a song in a memorable way, another show should step off of it, because it’s just going to remind us of the other show. That’s how we feel when a movie uses “Let Go” by Frou Frou. That song belongs to Garden State. And "Afternoon Delight" is the property of Arrested Development, not Glee. Step off.

Leeard’s grade: A
Ern’s Grade: B

Brightest Day, Blackest Night. It's Fine to Let This Movie Escape Your Sight (wow, this is a lame title)

The Green Lantern did not get a lot of love either at the box office or with the critics. What’s bad about this movie? Well, it had a huge budget, so it decided that a good script wasn’t necessary as long as the movie had big, loud things for us to look at. It's pretty sad when you think about how X-Men could have used that budget… There was an amazing unintentionally funny moment while the main character's girlfriend was giving him a pep talk on courage. The script sounded like it had been written by a nine-year-old who had seen too many comic book movies and read too many of his grandmother’s sweet little email forwards.

Also, it must be mentioned that the comic books had good stories that the movie just decided to ignore in favor of the same story we’ve seen 1,000 times in any other (not good) movie. We don’t know much about the Green Lantern, but we have it on good authority that he was supposed to be the honorable sort.

The movie decided to cast cool, young Ryan Reynolds and slap Tony Stark’s personality on the main character. Ignoring good material and completely changing the character is a little insulting to Green Lantern fans. If the result had been good, we wouldn’t complain. But it looks like the studio just wanted something that would resonate with a young, dumb audience, so they made it shallow and lame.

This movie was all about the visuals. If you go, we recommend the 3-D version. The filmmakers put a lot of thought into what things looked like and ignored everything else. Leading lady Blake Lively was asked to try out 14 different shades of brown in her hair before they settled on the final product, and it looked like she had dropped about 15 pounds since we last saw her in Gossip Girl, where she was already tiny. What is it about Hollywood that wants to make people think that a normal, pretty woman looks like that? It takes devoting your entire life, every day, to exercise and diet to look like that. Unless you just have a sickness.

There were some funny moments and you did root for the main character sometimes. It was an uncomplicated story, so you didn’t have to try hard watching it. Parts of it felt a little slow, but it was entertaining, overall. Ryan Reynolds did a good job with what he was given. The movie had good messages about courage and commitment. The movie is not nearly as bad as most reviews would have you believe. One of our friends enjoyed himself. Toward the end, as everything was wrapping up, we heard him mutter, “F*** everyone; I liked this movie.” He admits that the script was hideous though.

We WILL give some credit where credit is due: It had a better monster than Super 8. It looked like a deuce someone dropped, only with a face, but still. It was scary and weird. It will haunt the nightmares of little kids who went to see this movie.

If you want to see it, we won’t dissuade you. The critics might be overreacting because Green Lantern had to follow both Thor and X-Men: First Class, two movies where the writers actually tried. If you don’t want to see Green Lantern, for the love of God, stay away.

Movie Grade: C-. We’re feeling generous.

Game of Thrones Finale and Season One

We are ready to say the thing you should never say but is sometimes true: It was better than the book.

By better, we mean more entertaining, easier to get through, and still quality storytelling. Season one covered book one’s material, and there were plenty of memorable moments. The melting crown, the big twist in the penultimate episode, the twincest. The first season started out slow for some people, but believe us, the book was slower. Season two is only going to amp everything up and this series will improve.

The finale set up a huge feud for the throne and Sansa even got cooler. Also, how hilarious is Jaime? We know the first episode might make him hard to forgive, but you might end up liking him. Coming onto Ned's wife was classic. We can’t wait for Tyrion to get to King’s Landing and take over as hand of the king. We saw him with Joffrey earlier, and we like what he did with all the slapping. More slapping of Joffrey, we say. The finale showed us that there are several characters left for whom we can root.

And finally, some magic is coming. The little dragons were great. Now is the time to catch up on this show in a marathon to be ready for season two. HBO did this story the best they could. We liked the actors, scenery, costumes, music, screenplay, and just about everything else. We have very few complaints.

This season misses getting an A because of pacing, but we think that will be resolved next season because season two will have a better story. The slow days ended weeks ago and it's only going to speed up from here. We're really grateful that HBO took a risk with this show and put its heart into it. HBO didn't do this halfway, and this season was a good start to what's going to be a great series.

Episode Grade: A-

Season Grade: B+

So You Think You Can Dance - This week, the top 20 dance in pairs, we discuss

Jordan and Tadd:
Jordan seems a little stupid. Maybe she said smarter things in her interviews, but the show decided not to air them? Tadd is funny, but we don’t like his Mohawk. Is that look over yet? They did a good job on their afro-jazz routine, but we weren’t blown away. They aren’t favorites yet, but they both did fine and proved that they can dance outside of regular genres.

Sasha and Alexander:
Sasha seems really cute, and we've loved her since her audition with her sister, but Alexander seems like that guy in every high school who bobs around the halls like he’s confident, leering at girls. He took Sasha hitting him in the face well though. We thought you had to be graceful to be a dancer. Control your limbs, girl. We liked the concept for their routine (the conscience). They did alright. The skirt Sasha wore distracted us. The dance wasn’t anything we would youtube to watch again.

Clarice and Jess:
Clarice informed us that her eyes change colors. Jess is the dorkiest thing we’ve ever seen, but he’s been on Broadway and he’s from New Jersey, so we can’t hate him. The routine was pretty fun. Clarice’s dancing needs work, but she sure knows how to mug for the camera. Jess had good dancing skills to go with that grating nerd personality.

Ryan and Ricky:
Going for alliteration in that pairing, show? Ryan is kind of a spaz. We love lyrical hip hop, so they had an advantage with us. Ryan had a lot of personality in her dancing, even though her big grin didn’t fit the concept. We weren’t sure that Ricky’s moves were sharp enough. It’s like he didn’t fully commit. But the judges loved him, so what do we know?

Caitlynn and Mitchell:
Why would you spell the name Caitlynn like that? Earth to parents: If you give your kid a generic name, spelling it with extra letters doesn’t make it unique. Mitchell was down for the count due to an injury, so former contestant Robert took his place. We weren’t digging the La Roux song, but we liked how baby 18-year-old Caitlynn suddenly matured and became strong when she started dancing. We were impressed that she could hold her own with the more-experienced Robert.

Miranda and Robert:
We loved Robert’s personality and his quick biography. Very funny. We just hope his personality doesn't get annoying to us. Miranda trying to be sexy was really cute. The routine was kind of a mess, but we liked that Bruno Mars song.

Missy and Wadi:
We liked when Missy said that she enjoyed “long walks to the fridge.” Funny. She’s a funny girl, letting us know that the Pandora’s box demons had to be sexy demons. She seems smart too. They both did a good job. This was Ern’s favorite dance of the night, but both of us still like Melanie best. There had to be a better song for this routine though. Lady Gaga’s "Judas" is a dud.

Melanie and Marko:
Melanie is our favorite. Her audition was fantastic and she (presumably) didn’t even have the genius choreographers to make it for her. This was Leeard’s favorite dance of the night, but it was the best material, so is that really fair? A concept, contemporary dance, lots of leaps, some romance, that choreographer, and painted bodies? Still, Melanie deserves it and Marko is lucky.

Ashley and Chris:
Maybe it was because the last two were such a tough act to follow, but we hardly even remember this dance. It may be our least favorite of the night. It was hip-hop, which is usually good. Better luck next week?

Iveta and Nick:
We love quickstep, and they did a good job. Not much else to say here. We would be the worst SYTYCD judges ever, haha. One of the best dances of the night.

No one went home this week, which is good, because no one really sucks yet.

Quentin Tarantino Movies - The two pending ones and the old ones

For a guy who has directed a piddly 15 titles (some of them TV and some of them shorts and some of them where he guest-directed parts), Quentin Tarantino sure is famous. This probably has something to do with the excellence of the low-budget Reservoir Dogs and the originality of Pulp Fiction. Recently, we’ve heard that he’s doing two new movies, Django Unchained and Kill Bill 3. This info has been out for a while, but we're telling you in case you missed it, so that you can get as excited as we are.

Django goes like this (this is a summary Ern's cousin pasted on her Facebook wall): Freed/escaped slave Django (probably Will Smith) who, under the tutelage of a German bounty hunter (Christoph Waltz) becomes a hardcore bounty hunter himself. Then after helping his German mentor, the two team-up to track down Django's slave wife and liberate her from a man named Calvin Candie (probably Leonardo DiCaprio) a charming but ruthless plantation owner whom Django must cross in order to get his wife back. Could that sound any better? Wait for it. Samuel L. Jackson is going to be in it too.

We don’t want to give too much away about Kill Bill 3. Let’s just say Vernita Green’s daughter grew up…and so did B.B. We’re pretty stoked for these.

What we love about Tarantino is what most people who love Tarantino love: He’s fun. He loves movies more than anyone else who walks the face of the earth, and he knows just who to copy and borrow from while still adding his own flavor. Also, he discovers great actors and compiles excellent soundtracks. We are entertained. We like his style of good dialogue taking up most of the movies, with short spurts of action in between. He's not for the faint of heart though. No curse word is off limits and if a Tarantino movie ever didn't have any over-the-top violence, we'd die of shock.

So for all the Tarantino fiends, we are going to discuss each of his movies going back in time.

2009 Inglourious Basterds
The good: Christoph Waltz, Michael Fassbender, and Diane Kruger. Also, Shosanna’s revenge story. We couldn’t have loved the ending more. That’s how we all really wanted it to end, right? We also liked the commentary on violent films/war movies. We admired how ballsy it was to have most of the movie in German and French, rather than English. Even after 2.5 very tense, talky hours, it left us wanting more. We earnestly await the prequel.

The bad: Brad Pitt wasn’t as good as we all thought he was going to be. But he did make an hilarious Italian. It could be argued that the movie was sadistic, morally reprehensible, and self-righteous. Heck, we know it was. But a good revenge fantasy always is.

Movie Grade: A

2007 Grindhouse- Death Proof
The good: If you’re a girl, you need to admit you’ve at least thought about trying to learn that lap dance. That’s the sexiest thing we’ve ever seen, and she didn’t even have to take her clothes off. That’s how it’s done. Then the whole final 20 minutes. This was supposed to be trash (that was the point of the homage), but it was just too clever to qualify. It is still good on its own, but it’s better with Planet Terror and the fake trailers

The bad: It should have been first in the Grindhouse presentation. Rodriguez’s gross, star-studded action movie amped up the violence and pace. Then it slowed to a halt when we got to Tarantino’s talkier, slower movie. Tarantino likes to build up to awesome violence, rather than just slosh it out. Three hours is a long time to sit, and we don’t think many people were ready for a movie with so much girl talk, awesome girl talk though it was, after watching Planet Terror. Tarantino sort of cheated by making a movie with good dialogue and build-up. But we weren’t able to fully appreciate it after being browbeaten by Rodriguez’s gross-outs. The leg gun was pretty cool though.

Movie Grade: B
2003 Kill Bill: Vol. 1 and 2004 Kill Bill: Vol. 2
The good: We think this is one of the times that Tarantino was really out to have fun and indulge all of his fantasies and fetishes. One of his favorite things? Strong women. There is nothing sexier to this guy than a woman tearing through some flesh with a samurai sword. Then he goes with a western motif. We loved these for the “buried alive” portion alone. These are stylish fun, full of foul language and tension. You know you held your breath when she was fighting Gogo. These are purely for the action fan. No one’s really doing any deep thinking. We’re ok with that. Also, we now get "Bang Bang" stuck in our heads at random intervals.

The bad: They are a little silly and the plot is simplistic. Also, wildly unrealistic. The action is great until she gets to Bill and they talk about their romantic history, stalling what should have been a climax.

Movie grades (We’re doing these together): B+

1997 Jackie Brown
The good: Uhhhh, we don’t remember.

The bad: We don’t remember. Most Tarantino movies have several scenes that stick with you forever. We know there was a surprising death…but isn’t there always a surprising death in his movies? We don’t really know what happened with this movie, but we were bored. Critics seemed to like this one. We think it’s by far Tarantino’s worst.

Movie Grade: C

1994 Pulp Fiction
The good: Every movie tried to be this movie after Pulp Fiction came out. There were no good guys (we’ve heard it pointed out that there are never any good guys in a Tarantino movie), yet there were plenty of memorable characters who we cared about. Jules is one of our favorite movie characters of all time. It had dark humor, the plot was good, it was extremely quotable, and there were just so many memorable moments, from the wallet to the dancing scene. This movie really has no bad scenes. Once, in college, Ern got the honor of acting out the entire first scene as Honey Bunny for a class. Best class ever. So much fun.

The bad: The movie is a little cold and long, and some people were disturbed by the gimp scene. We say those people have no business watching a Tarantino movie. You have to be a real movie lover to love this movie, not just someone looking for the latest feel-good chick flick to take your grandma to. Unless your grandma is awesome.

Movie Grade: A+

1992 Reservoir Dogs
The good: The script and cast. This movie shows that those two things are all you need to make an A+ movie. This is about as low-budget as it gets, but it always feels like a serious movie. That’s serious talent.

The bad: Too bleak for some.

Movie Grade: A

If you enjoyed most of these titles, allow us to recommend In Bruges while you wait for more Tarantino offerings.

Pretty Little Liars - It's Alive Review (plus a few sentences about other summer shows)

Ok, thank God Pretty Little Liars is back. We’ve been sampling summer fare for weeks, and none of it has really started our engines. We watched Teen Wolf, and it isn’t bad, but the lead actor is, and that’s very distracting. We watched The Nine Lives of Chloe King, and the first episode was pretty good, and we hear that it gets better in the second episode. Still, it's no Vampire Diaries. We’ve been watching Switched at Birth, and while the deaf thing is interesting, the show is not what we would call “quality.”One of us is really enjoying it though.

We’ve been watching The Bachelorette, and it’s stupid, but fun. We have no desire to watch Happily Divorced, even though one of us loved The Nanny. Game of Thrones and The United States of Tara are almost over. The Glee Project is weird so far and we are having trouble getting invested. We’ve been watching So You Think You Can Dance, and it’s amazing, as usual. We need to start writing about that....

But we really need a good drama again, and Pretty Little Liars fits the bill. We loved how it just picked up right where it left off, letting us see the full aftermath of the finale, rather than having the characters verbally recap it. Jenna is still the creepiest mofo ever.

In this episode, the girls toyed with the idea of actually telling an adult, their new shrink, about A. Emily was the biggest proponent of just letting all the secrets out and facing the consequences. She even just suggested telling their parents and the cops. This would be a good idea, but it would ruin the drama of the show, and it would get Ezra Fitz in a whole load of trouble (which might actually be worth ruining the drama for one of us). We loved that it was Emily who thought they should be honest, because it makes sense with all that she has been through.

We are not digging Toby’s haircut, but we have missed him. Ditto to Noel Kahn, who Ern thinks is hotter than Ezra. Leeard disagrees and thinks Ezra is hotter than ever. Ern thinks he’s scrawny, fish-faced, and he has creepy old man hair. And he’s a gaywad. Nice abs though. We need Noel with Aria immediately, because her character needs to be saved. She spent most of the premiere whining to Ezra about Jackie. And yet, we have missed the wackiness of Aria’s clothes.

We roll our eyes at the “Emily is going to Texas” storyline. We bet she is going to get all packed, goodbyes will be said, and then it’s going to fall through. “A” needs his/her victims right in town. And we were reminded at how all-powerful “A” is in this episode. “A” infiltrated the shrink’s office, which is what stopped the girls from blabbing. Leeard thinks the shrink will be the next murder victim. Ern hopes not, because she would enjoy watching the liars go through individual grief counseling. But this isn’t In Treatment…

Caleb is back for Hanna, and he got to say his “I love you.” We understand why Hanna didn’t forgive him right away, but we were still sad. We liked that she got to confront Mona about the letter, because that didn’t need to be dragged out. We were loving the re-ignition of the Emily/Toby friendship. So sweet.

One thing we thought was weird? They showed Spencer’s naked back while she was changing. First of all, it’s ABC Family. That’s a little too much skin for a family channel. Second, it didn’t add to the episode or the story. Third, who was it FOR? This is a teen girl’s show. Is it just to remind the teen girls that their backs have too much meat on them? (Spencer is tiny.) Is it to fool people into thinking that they are watching a mature show rather than quality teen stuff? We’re confused. Teen lesbians probably rejoiced though.

So, it looks like Ian is alive (not a surprise), and that’s awesome. Melissa asked Spencer for her side of the story about the whole Ian episode in the finale, and seemed genuinely open to hearing the truth. There’s not a lot of sisterhood on this show, and we kind of think it would be nice to see these girls as friends rather than enemies. They are both smart women, and they are family. We’re getting sick of the rivalry. The girls aren’t allowed to hang out for a while and Spencer is not allowed to date Toby. Like either of those things are going to stick.

There weren’t too many “wow” moments or great scenes in this episode, but we are so glad it’s back that we are giving it an A.

Episode grade: A

Big Game of Thrones Twist (Spoiler-free post, spoilers welcome in the comments)

Last night, it finally happened. The thing that made one of us stop reading the books for about a year. Shocking, eh? We've been waiting to see if viewers of TV show would react similarly, and they have. They are devastated.

Rest assured though, the series got much better after the twist. This is one of many in the season. This show will go anywhere and do anything. It can really surprise you. And the boring parts are over.

For those of you who haven't seen it, there are only going to be ten episodes in the first season, and the season finale is next week. It would be easy to catch up before season two. Book three is incredible, so we really want this to get renewed one more time.

If any of you watched last night, what was your reaction? We liked it. But we have the benefit of book hindsight. Episode Grade: A

Bad Language: When We Liked It and When We Didn't

We mostly DON'T like it,unless it is used extremely well. It needs to be necessary/realistic or humorous. When foul language is thrown around for no reason other than to include foul language, we feel drained during the movie. Foul language should punctuate something that is already there, rather than just exist for its own sake. It’s like some makers want to prove that their movie is hip, modern, and edgy, so they just throw in some curse words. Is it the worst thing in the world for a modern, adult movie to lack characters that curse like sailors? Most people really don’t speak like that.

Also, we remember being underage movie buffs. There’s nothing more frustrating than having your parents say no to you seeing a movie that looks really good, just because they added an unnecessary word that you ALREADY KNOW.

We think that every detail of a movie should serve a purpose, down to the shoes a character wears. Because to throw it around aimlessly just makes it so that people who are bothered by bad language can’t enjoy the movie and fewer people can go see it. If you cut out some audience members, it needs to be worth it. Why not imply dirtiness, like in Shrek? It takes more cleverness and it’s more enjoyable for dirty minds to feel like they are in on a secret joke. However, there are times when the movie or TV show calls for a bad word or two. Example time.

BEST USE OF CURSING IN MOVIES AND TV

X-Men First Class: There is one F-bomb in this movie, and it’s probably the funniest part in the whole thing. We won’t ruin it by describing the context, but if you’ve seen it, we know you will agree.

Die Hard: What would this movie be without John McClane’s catchphrase, “Yippee Ki Yay Mother****er?”

Anything like Goodfellas (there were 300 f-bombs in this gem), The Departed, Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, American History X, Casino, The Usual Suspects, Inglorious Basterds, and Scarface. Why? Because these are movies that deal largely with criminals or military people. They are popping guys off right and left. Of course they are going to be the kind of guys who cuss up a storm. It’s realistic. Also, Fight Club. Fight Club can say whatever it wants. Unless it is this kind of movie, the cursing should not be constant. It should be carefully placed. We’re looking at you, Judd Apatow. Less is more.

The F-Word rant by Rocco in The Boondock Saints: It illustrated the diversity of the word, duh.

Sex and the City: Especially everything Samantha says. These curse words fit right into blunt, true, and hilarious statements. Curse away, ladies.

Samuel L. Jackson cursing in anything: The Snakes on a Plane. Sam having to emphasize that room 1408 was “an evil ****ing room.” And let’s not forget “Does He Look Like a b*tch?” Whether these things work for a movie or jar us out of them by making us laugh at Samuel L., these examples are at least memorable. Even his cursing wallet is legendary.

Gone With The Wind: One of us has a grandpa who refuses to curse and always quotes the famous Rhett Butler line as “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a hoot.” Sorry, grandpa. It’s just not as good without the curse.

In Bruges: This one tossed around the C-word a lot, and it was perfect. It fit the characters/movie AND it was really funny. There was a whole conversation where someone insulted someone else’s kids with the word and then had to retract it.

Deadwood: If you enjoyed this HBO show, whether you enjoy cursing or not, you have to admit that the cursing in this series was at least especially creative.

South Park: Duh. One of us will only watch this show on DVD or southparkstudios.com in order to get the uncensored version.

Firefly and Serenity: When you can’t curse, you should. make up your own fantasy curse words that sound a lot like our curse words and can be said with the gusto, emotion, and humor of actual curse words. All of the effect and none of the consequences. We’ve been known to throw a “Gorram” around from time-to-time. Fantastic Mr. Fox did this well too.

Risky Business: Sometimes you just gotta say “What the ***” Indeed you do, sir.

Full Metal Jacket: We could have put this in the same paragraph where we talked about the military, but we think it should get its own special mention.

WORST USE OF CURSING IN MOVIES AND TV
Super 8: There was an F-Word in this PG-13 movie. It wasn’t funny, it didn’t serve the story, and there was enough foul language in this movie from the little kids from the 60s anyway. We know middle-schoolers talk that way now, but did they then? Either way, it was too much for a movie that's sure to attract a young crowd. When the stoner said the f-word, we rolled our eyes, because it was just unnecessary.

Titanic: The fat bearded guy was talking to the old lady in the submarine and he said the f-word. Why? Once again, not funny, and we already knew that the fat guy was crass from his attitude. It added nothing to the movie. In fact, this might be our number-one most useless cursing instance of all time.

Good Will Hunting: You can make the argument that it’s realistic for these Boston down-and-outers to cuss a lot. But 154 times is more than enough for the audience to get the point. And it's such a feel-gooder that it's a shame our grandparents can't completely enjoy it. You can't make this edgy, people. It's saccharine. Very good saccharine, but still.

The King’s Speech: Apparently they WANTED a rating of “R” slapped on this movie. The cursing montage was funny and served a purpose in the movie, but the king didn’t need to say some of the worst curse words, and the movie could easily have gotten a PG or PG-13 rating, along with a wider audience. Because other than a few f-words, this movie is clean as a whistle. Were the makers desperate for street cred or something? What’s wrong with making a legitimately good movie that’s also clean? Maybe it will be compared to made for TV specials, but if you're rolling in the dough because a bunch of people got to see it and bring their kids, who cares?

Failure to Launch: Matthew McConawhatsit got mad at his fake girlfriend and shouted at her in the car, using a strong curse. Not only did it break the tone of the movie, but it was awkward and way too harsh. By the time they got back together, we couldn’t even be happy for them. If a guy yelled at us like that….

Cursing Anachronisms: Every time the word is said in a movie that is set in a time period where that word would not yet exist or be a curse. Examples: Braveheart, Shakespeare in Love, Robin Hood Prince of Thieves

Any movie that is a PG-13 where they snuck in one random F-word that wasn’t necessary, just because they could get away with it. It’s like if they CAN, they feel like they have to. Examples: Big, My Best Friend’s Wedding, plenty of light romantic comedies, What Lies Beneath, Catch Me If You Can

Agree? Disagree? Always love cursing? Always think it's unnecessary? Any favorite or least-favorite cursing in your TV and movies?

Super 8 Review

Why didn’t we love this movie? Why was it not mint? Why did it not earn the A we totally wanted to give it? Ten minutes after leaving the theater, one of us ran into a friend at the gas station and he asked us how it was. Response? A shrug and an, "It was OK." We're in the minority though, so feel free to argue.

We love the star Kyle Chandler, we love Steven Speilberg, we love nostalgia, we love J.J. Abrams’ creations and his attitude. This movie has an 83% on RottenTomatoes (which is the perfect rating, because it’s not high enough to be pretentious Oscar/critics’ fodder and it’s not low enough to be crap). It has great special effects, it’s sci-fi, there are some humorous bits, it has a good message, it’s touching, you can catch a brief glimpse of Amanda Foreman, the characters were good, and it’s entertaining. So what’s wrong? Were our expectations just too high due to hype?

Let’s start listing gripes then.

1) It wasn’t scary enough for adults. Everything J.J. does is going to get compared to his greatest creation, LOST, so we’re going to go ahead and do that. The great thing about lost was how eerie it was. Come on, LOST fans. LOST was creepy as ****, no? Super 8 had some jumps, but no real scares. The only reason they hid the object was so that it wouldn’t seem stupid to just immediately whip out something ludicrous. That’s a good idea, but the badness was like a reject from MANY other movies.

2) So maybe it’s for kids? Wrong. It’s not scary enough for adults, but it’s not clean enough for the kiddies due to language alone. These kids cuss as much as real kids and a stoner says the “F” word. And, of course, there is a heap of violence. This movie is perfect for the middle school and young teen crowd. Boys and girls ages 12-15 are going to love this movie. Sadly, we’re older than that.

3) We’ve seen this movie before. Usually we don’t mind when moviemakers borrow from other movies, as long as the result is incredible fun. Example: Tarantino. But this movie wasn’t quite good enough to excuse it from its imitations, and it brought nothing new to the table.

4) We got bored in some places. Granted, we watch a lot of TV, so our attention spans are not what they used to be, so this might not be a problem for some people. But we’re just throwing it out there.

5) We wanted the story or something in the movie to have more mystery and wonder. It’s lacking that magic that makes sci-fi and fantasy so intriguing. Once again, it was all just too familiar. There were no surprises or shocks at all. While we cared about the characters and their relationships, we weren’t invested in the action and the tension just wasn’t there. We didn’t get swept up in the movie. The events are not involving. We are going to forget about Super 8 as soon as we finish this review, and we won’t likely think about it again unless someone brings it up. We like movies that stick with us days after you leave the theater.

It seems like Abrams is repeating himself, and we are starting to chalk up his success to other people (his LOST writers) as he continues to churn out the disappointments. First was Alias, then Undercovers. First LOST, and now he's going back to an island for Alcatraz (of course we will be watching that anyway). Now we have Super 8. This is better than Cloverfield though. This guy can create some great stuff, but he's not one of our most-trusted creators anymore.

Bottom line: It’s not bad, but unless you are a 13-year-old boy, it’s not making your favorite movies list. The story just isn't there. Lots of specific things and moments worked, but as an overall experience, it's kind of a mess.

Movie Grade: B-

Summary of Pretty Little Liars Season One

----UPDATE---
A summary of seasons 1-3 can now be found here. We updated it AND made it more thorough.

Some people don't have time to catch up on shows and just want to jump right in. Lots of people have heard that Pretty Little Liars is good, but they heard it too late. Hey, we were surprised at how good this show turned out to be as well.

Pretty Little Liars is a convoluted show with lots of characters, subplots, clues, mysteries, and cliffhangers. So we probably didn't mention EVERYTHING that happened or will be touched upon again. But we did try to mention everything you would reasonably need to know to start watching season two when it airs this coming Tuesday.

The premise: There were five friends. One of them, Alison DiLaurentis, was a real jerk, but the other four worshipped her anyway. One night, Alison disappeared. The rest of the girls lost touch, but one year later, the four remaining friends came together on the day Alison’s dead body was found. That was also the day the mysterious “A” started sending them text messages, taunting them. The text messages included secrets about the girls that each girl had only revealed to Alison. So the show has two mysteries: Who killed Alison and who is A?

The four main girls:

Spencer Hastings - Ern’s favorite. She’s tough and smart, but she has a weakness for her sister’s guys.

Hanna Marin - Leeard’s favorite. The girl has a slick mouth that she probably got back when she used to be chubby (because when you aren’t gorgeous, you have to develop other strengths). But now, Alison is dead and Hanna lost weight, so she is the towns new most popular girl. She’s cool and hilarious, but she struggles with things like shoplifting and the occasional purging session.

Emily Fields - Probably the nicest of the girls, and the best person, Emily discovered that she was gay over the course of season one when she started a relationship with a new neighbor, Maya. Emily is on the school’s swim team, and she’s very good. Emily’s mother is having trouble accepting her daughter’s sexual orientation. Emily’s mom told Maya’s parents that Maya was smoking pot (which was true), so Maya was sent away to some sort of boot camp/boarding school. Emily spoke with her over the phone and it sounded like Maya had changed, so the relationship is over, for now. She’s currently digging a girl named Samara, even though she has kind of been dating a girl named Paige from her school. The trouble is that Paige is still in the closet, and Emily is over that.

Aria Montgomery - No one’s favorite, unless she is confronting her dad and his mistresses. That was the only time she was remotely cool. (Mr. Montgomery cheated on Aria’s mom and Aria knew. There was drama with Aria keeping the secret and then Mrs. Montgomery finding out and leaving Mr. Montgomery. They are getting cozy again though, so they might get back together.) Aria spent most of season one secretly dating her English teacher (and potential statutory rapist), Ezra Fitz, who she met in a bar before they knew she would be his student. Aria has a brother.

Other characters:

Jenna - She’s the blind girl. You can tell because of the cane and the eyeglasses. She is one creepy mofo. She forced her stepbrother, Toby, to have sex with her. Jenna is blind because Alison decided to set fire to a garage to play a prank on Toby. The four main girls were there, and the whole incident is one of their secrets.

Toby - Jenna’s stepbrother, who used to be the main suspect for Alison’s death, but only because he comes across as creepy at first. He’s really not. He’s dating Spencer right now. Spencer used to be dating a guy named Alex, but he’s not in her life anymore, due to a misunderstanding. We only mention this in case Alex ever comes back and starts some triangle business. And because we really liked Alex.

Melissa - Spencer’s sister. She is pregnant with Ian’s baby.

Ian - Suspect number one for the death of Alison, with whom he had a secret relationship. He made out with Spencer a long time ago.

Wren Kim - Melissa’s fiancé. That ended when Melissa caught Wren and Spencer making out. He’s gone now. Plenty of guys just disappear from this show. We disapprove.

Noel Kahn - An actual age-appropriate guy who likes Aria and knows about her relationship with her English teacher. He tried to leverage that knowledge into a better English grade, but apparently that is the one thing Ezra feels is morally wrong. We thought he was gone from the show too, but if the split-second shot of him in the finale is correct, he's coming back.

Garrett - A cop snooping into all the show’s incidents. He pretends to be a friend to the four main girls, but we know better. He's dating Jenna.

Mona - Hanna’s popular-girl friend who is kind of a jerk but entirely hilarious.

Lucas - A nerd who loves Hanna, but she’s not into him. Leeard loves him for a multitude of reasons.

Caleb - A guy Hanna was crushing on who had no place to live. She let him live in her house, until she found out that Jenna was paying him to spy on Hanna. He swore he quit spying once he got to know Hanna though. Caleb tried to tell Hanna that he loved her, but Mona intercepted the love note. Lucas found out about Mona’s bad deed and went to get Caleb and drive him back to town.

How we left it: English teacher Ezra Fitz took a job at Hollis College with Aria’s dad…and his ex- fiancée. Noel Kahn still likes Aria. We found out that Ian has been taping all the girls in town, creepily. We found out that Alison got a hold of one of Ian’s videotapes (when she was with him vacationing at Hilton Head) that included a nice scene of Jenna telling Toby that she will say he raped her if he doesn’t sleep with her. Alison had the video on USB and Jenna has been trying to get it. We found out that Jenna is dating Garrett. She’s still up to something, and we don’t know what. Emily might have to move to Texas with her family. Ian chased Spencer through a church bell tower and tried to kill her, but he was pushed off a high perch by…someone. His body was not found. He is the presumed killer of Alison at this point, but you can never be sure with this show. So A is still out there, sending clues and taunts.

Anything else you can just pick up as you go or get from the "Previously on Pretty Little Liars" recaps at the beginning of each episode. We also have a few recaps of episodes that we've done, if you click on "Pretty Little Liars" at the top of this page. This really should be enough to give you the overview you would need to jump in. If anyone else can think of something important to add, put it in the comments!

Pretty Little Liars season two will be on Tuesdays on ABC Family. It starts on June 14th. We can't wait.

ABC Family update - Switched at Birth pilot and Secret Life season finale

Switched at Birth Pilot Review

One of us will watch just about anything that ABC Family airs, including Secret Life, and isn’t ashamed of it. Okay, she’s slightly ashamed, but she’s trying to get over it. Therefore, she obviously watched the pilot of Switched at Birth. If this is literally the first you’re hearing about the show, the title tells you just about everything about the show: the two main characters, Bay and Daphne, were switched at birth. Bay grew up privileged with two loving parents and a brother, while Daphne was raised by a single mom and grandmother. Not exactly groundbreaking stuff there. One of the more interesting and unique things about this show is the fact that Daphne is deaf. One of the bloggers is very interested in deaf culture, and is pretty excited to see it on television, even if it is watered down. And speaking of the deaf culture, we thought it was very interesting how Daphne became deaf from a meningitis infection when she was four. We hope that this causes conflict in later episodes, because we would probably enjoy the discussion; if Bay and Daphne hadn’t been switched, would Daphne still have become deaf? Would Bay have instead? We really hope that wasn’t just a one-time thought for the show.

However, we really didn’t like how fast the first four minutes of the episode were, covering eight weeks in their lives. We would’ve appreciated getting to know the girls and their families before finding out that Bay and Daphne were given to the wrong parents. As it was, we didn’t care for the sloppy introduction. We also wish the show had shown us how different Bay and her mom are, instead of having Bay repeatedly tell the audience.

We didn’t love the episode, but after hearing bad things about the pilot from a lot of other sources, we were pleasantly surprised. We do expect more from ABC Family now, however. In terms of quality, we want this show to be more like Pretty Little Liars, and right now, it’s leaning more towards Secret Life.

Episode Grade: C

Secret Life Season Finale

Speaking of which: oh Secret Life. How one (AND ONLY ONE) of us loves you so. Y’all, this episode was insane. We predicted it from the previews, but Adrian’s baby died. We would like to say first that having a baby die like that is horrible and we literally can’t imagine the kind of pain that Adrian, Ben, and their families must be going through, not to mention the pain felt by the people who actually go through that in real life. No one deserves that kind of hurt. That being said, the actor who plays Ben is a horrible fake crier. It needed to be mentioned. Also, this might sound horrible, but we’re kind of excited about what this development will mean for Adrian and Ben. They got married and moved in together because they were going to become parents. How are they going to deal with it now that they aren’t? Will they stay together or separate? Obviously, our money is on them separating, but probably not getting divorced; that wouldn’t fit with Secret Life’s image.

Episode Grade: B+

What were your thoughts on the Switched at Birth pilot and Secret Life season finale?