Pretty Little Liars - Picture This review

Tonight, we had Leeard’s favorite summer show, Pretty Little Liars. The show got dissed in the New York Post a while ago as having no redeeming social qualities for young viewers. We disagree. Emily alone is a redeeming social factor, because she’s nice and might help young gay girls feel better about themselves. The show also promotes having as few secrets and lies as possible so that no one can hold them against you. Also, we’ve seen the girls stand up to Alison in flashbacks (Ali was afraid of Spencer because she was strong) and most of the girls have stood up to her memory, showing girls that they should put bullies in their place whenever they can. But one of us can see the paper’s point.

The opening of the episode didn’t do much to help its case though. It started with the worst sight we could ever see (on an abcfamily show, anyway). Aria in her bra making out with Ezra, in bed. We thought for a moment that the show decided to answer the “have they slept together” question with finality, but we quickly realized it was a dream when Ezra turned into Jason.

Just when the dream had gotten hotter, it ended. The other three were in the hospital, dressed as candy stripers again, looking for the missing morgue files page and suspecting Jason of murder. Then, Jenna showed up and indicated that she might be able to see soon (with a surgery, if she is a candidate). Would this make her more or less scary?

While Emily was throwing out everything A might have poisoned with HGH, there was a nice nod to Hanna’s past stealing amid all of her great one-liners. She and Caleb are a match made in sketchville. In the school halls, Emily and Aria talked about Aria’s crush on Jason while rocking the same, in-style hairstyle that we are a little sick of seeing (long waves that start at the chin and frame the face). Spencer’s waves have been a little different than that the past couple of episodes, and we approve. It turns out that Aria is only lusting after Jason because her relationship with Ezra still has obstacles. Bleck. We thought she had grown taste. After all, her outfit was saner than usual in that scene.

Hanna isn’t talking to her father or Isabel. Isabel wants Hanna to be a bridesmaid. We think it’s nice of Isabel to insist on this. Spencer spied on Jason and found out that he’s hiding something in his locked shed. These girls are no good at spotting red herrings. Aria pretty much jumped Ezra in his office, so it’s safe to assume that they rekindled their lust by going to whatever base they’ve gone to before, at least. After that, Aria had another naughty Jason dream. We guess that answers the question of how good Ezra is in bed? Though we're now pretty sure that Aria and Ezra haven't had sex, since dream Aria made a reference to it "finally" happening. Aria had a run-in with Jason the next day and threw him out of her house quickly, probably afraid he would notice her lady boner.

Samara is starting to bore us. We miss bad girl Maya. Samara brings Emily chocolate though, so Emily is probably going to keep her around for a while. Hanna’s mom offered E and S the house so that they could have their big, gay party. What do lesbians do when they have the house to themselves? Play cards and eat popcorn. Sorry male PLL viewers…. A then sent Emily a text saying “if Zoey leaves without your digits, your test results go viral,” meaning that everyone will find out about Emily’s human growth hormone-infested body if she didn’t ruin her relationship with Samara. Ugh, A is the worst.

Emily caved and gave Zoey her number. A girl with feathered earrings (Quinn) saw the transaction. We’re pretty sure she had to kill at least three birds to get those. Quinn told Samara, and it broke them up. Random rant: What kind of a name is Ezra anyway? We know lots of nice, normal names come from the Bible (including both of our real names), but that one is TOO Biblical. Why don’t we just start naming characters “Abednego”? Anyway, Ezra is an old man name. Back to the episode.

In parent news, Byron Montgomery decided to be awesome for a second when he told his wife that Mike’s actions are his own fault, not hers. He then went upstairs to pound on Mike’s door and talk to him. Mike was lying in bed, looking depressed (and feminine. We were like, “Who is that girl?”) What is wrong with him? Is A poisoning HIM now? That would probably be pretty awesome, actually. One of us really wants A to start interacting with the other characters.

Mike’s father stopped being awesome and just invited him down to dinner, rather than beating his ass. Then he warned Mike not to lock his door. Ok, obviously his girlfriend just broke up with him, he’s secretly gay, he’s A, or he just realized how much like a girl he would look with hair. We sort of wish he were in love with Aria or something. We need incest back on this show, and REAL incest this time. They have to give the New York Post something to talk about, right?

Hanna spotted the guy who was following Caleb giving Caleb his card and shaking his hand. Turns out, he’s a private investigator hired by Caleb’s mom to find him. Predictable. Caleb sulked about his mom who he hasn’t seen in 12 years. Hanna encouraged him to hear his mom out. He did it and they had a great conversation, even though they didn’t go into why she left him in the first place.

Caleb teared up recounting how his mom apologized for taking so long to find him and how she told him his voice sounded just like his father's. His mom invited him to California for a reunion. “When?” Hanna asked. “Tonight,” he said. Awwww, poor Hanna. And bye bye to another PLL guy….at least for a while. Will Hanna wait for him? We are sad to see him go, but at least he left for a good reason and on a sweet note, rather than because of A (OR IS IT?), a misunderstanding, or a mean breakup. Then Hanna called her dad. Predictable, but still sweet.

Spencer tried to get rid of her mom so that she could sneak off and snoop on Jason’s property. “You seem tense,” Mrs. Hastings said before she left the house. Umm, have you met your daughter? She’s always like that. Back to Byron Montgomery. He has decided that Mike is depressed like his brother was. We think his brother must have killed himself or something. We like when a teen show tackles depression, because lots of teens experience it. It's ALSO a socially redeeming quality, so suck it, New York Post.

Back to Spencer. She and Emily went into Jason’s shed. Inside were pictures of Aria’s body parts, close up, and creepy jars. It was Jason’s darkroom. It looked like he was using his surveillance equipment to spy on Aria while she was sleeping. TRUST ARIA TO FALL FOR THE ONLY GUY SKETCHIER THAN EZRA. This girl has a definite type. Jason noticed the break-in and went to buy a padlock for his shed. On his way home, he bumped into Aria and got out of his car to talk to her. The show cut to Garrett and Jenna spying on the two of them. This show is so freaking creepy.

Spencer and Emily tried to call Aria as she spoke to Jason, suspecting that she was knee-deep in creepers. Jason confessed that he cared about Aria and then kissed her. Aria shut him down in favor of Ezra. Spencer and Emily rushed back to Jason’s shed to get the pictures to show Aria. Stupid. They were all gone and only the flashlight they had dropped in there remained. As the show ended, we got our glimpse of A’s shenanigans. A was developing a picture of Emily and Spencer in Jason’s shed.

So, now we have two of our girls single in the span of one episode. That should open up lots of new plot opportunities while this show stalls its big reveals as long as it possibly can. But hey, we don’t want this show to be gone, so we aren’t complaining too much. One of us will not admit that Ezra is a better choice than Jason yet. There still might be an explanation!!!! One of us will go to the grave with the Ezra hate. Lots happened and the episode was entertaining, soooo.....

Episode grade: A

Bad Bloggers

For the past five days, one of us was busy travelling 3,000 miles and moving into a new apartment and one of us DIDN'T HAVE INTERNET. It was horrible. But that has been rectified. We will be playing catch-up for a few days.

Also, we just found out that Sons of Anarchy is on Instant Netflix now. Yessssss. We have until September to watch it (so we can be caught up).

Checking in on Weeds Season 6

Lots of people started hating Weeds after Agrestic burned down, but we’re not counted among that crowd. We liked the way the show kept evolving and re-creating itself. We liked the Mexican drug lord, the season five road trip, the new baby, Andy getting shot down by Nancy, and all the weird tension. When the crew was in Agrestic, the show mostly existed as a suburban satire (which we think the world has had enough of in entertainment) and a way to make fun of Christians. Sure, it was fast-moving and funny, so we loved it just as much then too.

But this season has been truly slow so far. We would like to see the show end before it gets worse. The premiere looked promising, but things have stalled. Nancy is still living in a prison halfway house. Andy is trying to sell some bike device to Doug’s new company (Doug got a real job again).

Silas is still modeling and sulking about what a horrible mom he has. Shane’s new criminal justice class was the most entertaining part of this week’s episode. We like when Nancy starts randomly acting like a mom, like when she told Silas about the day he was born. That was actually really sweet. Silas probably had the funniest part this season- when he was modeling inside a giant bubble that was really a test of human nature.

But it feels, more than ever, like this show doesn’t know where it’s going or what the theme of the season is. The show seems to want us to know that Nancy is the most important person in the lives of the other characters, no matter how many times she messes things up. So there has been a huge focus on the family moving from Amsterdam back to her and building their lives around her again.

We get it. Move on. Bring on some gangsters or cops or substantial drug dealing or something. Because this season is doing the slow burn and it hasn’t been very funny. Some shows can do a slow burn, but this one needs to be witty week-to-week, especially after all these years and the late seasons that some viewers don’t care for. We haven’t been enjoying the show as much and watching it is kind of a chore, but we want to see it through.

Oh, and Heylia? It’s illegal to set death traps, even to protect your property. You have to actually shoot the people yourself to get away with killing an intruder. Food for thought for any would-be imitators who want to make their house a fortress.

Season grade so far: C-

Pretty Little Liars - Save the Date

Emily got an ulcer, supposedly from the stress of A, lying about Danby, and her parents moving away. Boo, hiss. The previews made it look like A poisoned her, and that would have been much more entertaining.

As it was, A only put HGH in her pain cream so that she would test positive for enhancement use that could end her sports career. Emily’s dad told her to forget about swimming scholarships. It really does seem like college would be affordable for that couple.

We don’t like where the Mike story is going. Frankly, we have more important things to worry about than Mike fighting with his mom and being all hurt that she left. We thought he was going to be involved in the main plot in a significant way, but he’s just useless again.

The girls saw Jenna and Garrett about to get it on and were appropriately disturbed. Hanna continues to be awesome, but the people around her keep letting her down. Her mom let her dad go back to his fiancé, and Caleb is being really secretive. Someone is following him and it seems like that someone is related to someone in Caleb’s past. Maybe a long-lost family member? His birth mom or dad? That plotline looks promising. In any case, Hanna should be on every show.

Ezra spent a lot of the episode pining and jealous because of Jason, which is fine with us. Aria is still in contact with him and crushing on him, which is more than fine with us.

Wren is back! Yay. He lurked around the hospital and Spencer’s house for a while. Spencer is getting to be the insane one (with Hanna taking her place as the sane one), so she dressed up as a candy striper (with Aria) and broke into the morgue to look for the file on Ali’s death. The candy striper outfits were probably the most normal thing these two have worn all series. Spencer found out that the weapon Ali’s head was cracked with very well could have been the hockey stick Jason probably buried in her backyard.

Then Spencer and Aria found out that Ali was alive when she was buried. Yikes. Those poor girls did not need to know that. It really seems like Spencer would develop an ulcer before Emily would, but we guess Emily is more sensitive. Or Spencer just wouldn't give her insides permission to get an ulcer. Also, we missed Toby this episode. With Wren back, Toby might have competition.

The best part? The Saw rip-off when A was the dead body in the morgue and he/she sat up.

We liked the creepiness, but this was a pretty average episode.

Episode Grade: B-

Morning Glory discussion

It’s a trailer’s job to make the viewers want to see a movie, and we think that Morning Glory succeeded on that front. Maybe it was the peppy Natasha Bedingfield song. Maybe it was the cast that included Harrison Ford, Rachel McAdams, Diane Keaton, and that child molester from Hard Candy. But we thought Morning Glory looked cute.

Instead, it turned out to be a boring, slow movie with mostly annoying, unlikeable characters and clichés. We liked the ending, but there are many better romantic comedies featuring women in the media. Spend your time on one of those or watch TV. You can just buy the Natasha Bedingfield CD and get the warm feelings the trailer promised.

Movie Grade: D

Decent Plot Lines for All the Major True Blood Characters This Season (So Far)

Surprisingly, this season has been really good so far. There’s been the sex, the shock factor, and the self-aware weirdness we’ve come to know from this show, but there’s also been a relatively fast-moving plot (for True Blood), and the witches have brought it and really mixed things up.

Necromancers are just what this show needs. For three years, vampires have been the biggest kids on the True Blood playground, but the new Petunia Dursley witch has the means to make mincemeat out of the bloodsuckers. We give the whole witch thing an “A”. Here, we are going to look at where the main characters have been this season and during the last episode.

Jason: Crystal is the freaking worst, so we are glad that he is off of that and back to bonding with his best friend and his sister. In this episode and the last one, it looks like he is developing a crush on Jessica, which could complicate things with Hoyt. His storyline was disgusting at first (what with all the raping), but the way he acting during it showed that he is a decent, normal guy who we can root for, unlike in the first couple of seasons. We are glad he’s not going to be a wereleopard. We need the humans on this show to stay human, for now. Plotline Grade: C+ (We weren’t really digging all the raping, and we don’t want him to steal his best friend’s girl, even if their relationship is really bad right now, because she erased Hoyt’s memory of her cheating.)

Sookie: We aren’t fully onboard with her sudden love of Eric. So she likes him when he is little more than a sweet child? Does she like submissive, immature men? Meh. Maybe she does. And really, we will take any plotline from her as long as it gets her sleeping with Eric, FINALLY. We hooted and hollered at the TV screen when they got it on. We guess that Sookie couldn’t let go of Eric’s selfish past easily, and it took a clean slate to get her to come around to him. We think it’s going to be interesting when Eric gets his memory back and has to reconcile who he has been for hundreds of years with who he has been these last few weeks with Sookie. Maybe he can find a happy medium? Plotline Grade: A (because they finally did it)

Eric: Has had his memory taken by Petunia Dursley witch, and he is so adorable it hurts to watch him interact. On reset, he also has a newfound integrity, sense of honor, and a willingness to take responsibility for his actions. Plotline Grade: A-

Alcide: His is an interesting plot, so far. He’s with his ex, Debbie, again and resisted joining the local pack. But this week, he’s willing to give the pack a try. We love werewolf hierarchy. It’s so dangerous, and it sounds like a great way to get rid of Debbie so that Sookie can sleep with Alcide too. Plotline Grade: B+

Bill: Is so much more useful as King. Even with all the incest, he’s way less annoying now that Sookie is no longer his. He’s been pretty hardcore lately, but he showed his soft side letting Eric go back to Sookie this week, rather than just killing him when he had the opportunity and permission. Plotline Grade: B

Lafayette and Jesus: Are at Jesus’ creepy grandpa’s house in Mexico trying to get some witch info. We don’t really get this yet, but it’s weird and it looks promising, so we like it. Plotline Grade: A- (especially considering most of Lafayette’s previous lame plotlines)

Tara: Her lesbian girlfriend showed up in Bon Temps, they made up, and Tara has stayed relatively sane. But will her girlfriend survive Pam’s attack? Plotline grade: C+. Plotline grade comparing this plotline to Tara’s other plotlines: B+

Pam: Is rotting and hilarious. Plotline Grade: A

Arlene and Terry: Have a pet armadillo?!! We like them a lot more now. They are still being haunted by the ghost of Rene (presumably) and have an evil freaking baby. Their house burned down this week. Plotline grade: C

Andy: Is addicted to V. Plotline grade: C- But he is also interested in Holly and has secured himself a date! Plotline Grade: B-

Sam and Tommy: Tommy is a horrible person. He accidentally killed his mom and her husband, so now he can impersonate people in his family. He started by impersonating Sam and sleeping with Sam’s current love interest, (Luna, another shapeshifter), and then yelled at her to get out when he was done. He also fired Sookie from Merlotte’s. And then he vomited on Sam’s carpet and passed out, looking like himself again. Sam’s pretty much been dealing with this. Plotline Grade: C

Due to quality and reader response (ok, one reader, but that's enough sometimes), we will be talking about this show more during the second half of the season.

Breaking Bad- Open House discussion

So you’re sticking with the slow burn, aren’t you, show? When Breaking Bad tries our patience, we tend to trust it, because we know that it’s building to an unforgettable climax.

This episode focused mostly on Marie’s stress and Skyler’s tenacity. It continued to move things along, but it didn’t give us too much excitement. But the very end of the episode gave us hope that things are going to start snowballing soon.

This episode was into more character development, especially of its female characters, but there was enough plot progression for the fans that require that in every episode.

Walt is really getting on our nerves this season. He wouldn’t do Go-Carts with Jesse! But mostly, we are sick of his “spoiled child” attitude. He seems so entitled and petulant, as if things should just be going his way in this world. This is not the first time we’ve seen this mindset in Walt. He felt so offended that he wasn’t rich like his old friend and colleague who is married to Gretchen.

When he flipped a bird to Gus’ cameras, in a rage, we thought, “Seriously? The bird can be funny, but here it’s just immature.” Walt needs to grow up and realize that if he wants things to go his way, he needs to be competent and deserving.

Victor is watching Walt whenever he isn’t in the lab, which is ominous, but exciting. Fortunately, Walt has made the smart decision to not go after Gus for the moment. Skyler is proving to be the better criminal of the married couple, securing the car wash in an impressive fashion. She’s a business and negotiating genius and Walt is lucky to have her, at this point.

We can’t believe there was a time in the show where we thought Skyler was just an annoying ball and chain and every single guy’s worst nightmare. However, if she had been working this whole time, maybe Walt wouldn’t have needed to start cooking meth in the first place. A good business mind is a terrible thing to waste…

The real meat of this episode was the resurrection of Marie’s kleptomania. Hank is still being a complete jerk, so stress drove Marie to go to open houses, make up an identity and back story, and leave the house with some little trinket. A fat real estate broker woman catches on and Marie ends up arrested, but Hank’s connections get her off. How funny was the fat lady?

And how sad was it when Marie broke down crying because she had to go home to Hank? This is the first time we’ve felt for Marie during one of her kleptomaniac episodes. We thought it was just a random dark spot on the character from season one, but we are glad the show brought it back now that Marie is sympathetic.

Jesse is still in his dark place. We saw comments on another site where viewers recommended to Walt that he ditch Jesse. WHAT? We think, at this point, Jesse is Walt’s only redeeming quality. When he killed the gangsters with his car and saved Jesse’s life, we started liking Walt again, a little bit.

Jesse is also the show’s main source of humor and sweetness. During this episode, we got to hear Jesse yell the word “bitch” in victory and throw a big pile of cash on top of a mob of sleeping drug addicts so that he could watch them crawl after it, Walking-Dead style.

The episode ended with a fellow cop bringing Hank a folder found in Gale’s apartment. The folder contained his lab notes. We just know that Hank is going to see Heisenberg all over that method and product detailed there, and he is going to go berserk. We can’t wait. All of his rage needs to be directed from Marie and toward Walt.

One thing we would like to see: We want Walt Jr. to get mixed up in the badness soon. He’s just irritating as it is. What if he died? That would be interesting. Just DON’T. KILL. JESSE., show.

Episode Grade: B-

New show: Napoleon Dynamite

Napoleon Dynamite
Fox. Midseason.

Starring: Jon Heder and everyone else from the movie as voice actors

Plot: This Wikipedia summary says it all: “Napoleon Dynamite is a 16-year-old boy convinced that he is blessed with unlimited "sweet abilities." His hobbies include practicing his ninja moves, dancing, drawing, and bragging about his "girlfriend in Oklahoma." Napoleon's brother, Kip, is an unemployed 32-year-old who lives at home, and continually attempts to meet girls online. The two live with their grandmother, who is often found four-wheeling with her friends at the local sand dunes. Napoleon's friends include Pedro, who has recently been elected class president, and Deb, a girl who sees the good in Napoleon and dreams of someday becoming his girlfriend. Napoleon's uncle, Rico, lives in an orange van, where he obsesses over his failed high school football career and dreams up ways to become rich and famous.”

Why We Are Excited: Well, Ern is currenty wearing a Napoleon Dynamite T-shirt, so what does that tell you? That movie was funny without being dirty and became a total cult film phenomenon. There are also going to be some new characters. As a cartoon, this could become the new Beavis and Butthead. Ern gives this a “ten,” but realizes that this type of humor is not for everyone. Ern’s mom didn’t get it at all.

Why We Are Not Excited: Leeard gives this a “one,” saying, “It was stupid when it came out an infinity ago.” (Which strikes Ern as something Napoleon would say. Seriously, read it with his voice in your head.) But we both agree that it may just have been too long of a wait between the movie and the TV show. Also, it’s a cartoon.

Preview:


Anticipation Score: 5/10

Be sure to click on the "##Upcoming Shows## link in the cloud so you can stay apprised. And let us know if you think you will be watching any of them!

New Show: Revenge

Revenge
ABC, September 21, 2011. Wednesdays at 10.

Starring: Emily VanCamp (Everwood, Brothers and Sisters)

Plot: Emily Thorne is a mysterious woman seeking revenge on the people who destroyed her family. Apparently, all of those people live in the Hamptons. This show will be very loosely based on The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas.

Why We Are Excited: The preview and concept are good. Who doesn’t like a good revenge story? Even Ern (who will talk your head off about the unique wonders of grace and forgiveness if you’ll sit still long enough) enjoys a good, direct revenge story in entertainment. This looks like it could be a more violent, more interesting version of the first season of The O.C.

Why We Are Not Excited: We think there is a chance it will turn into The Gates or something, a show that looks good on commercials but isn't actually good in execution, and we are unsure of the main actress’ ability to carry the show. She didn’t come across as very charismatic in the preview.

Preview:


Anticipation Score: 8/10

Be sure to click on the "##Upcoming Shows## link in the cloud so you can stay apprised. And let us know if you think you will be watching any of them!

Wow, We've Been Bad Bloggers - Here's What We've Been Doing

We have watched/read a few things and have no energy to really write about them in depth. So we’ll give some short takes.

Tsotsi - Rented this African redemption story and like it, overall, but felt that it was overrated. We were also unsatisfied with the ending. It was really short, and we are fans of 90-minute movies if there is no reason for it to be longer. Why drag things on if you don’t need the time to give the movie its punch? And it's entertaining. Movie Grade: B
Two Lovers - Tell us, why were these women after this guy? He needs to get over his own depression before he takes any lovers at all. This one was forgettable, but well-acted. Movie Grade: C+
Source Code - Good and twisty. Leeard liked this one more than Ern did. It depressed Ern. She cared about the characters and didn't feel satisfied with how everything turned out. Movie Grade: B+

13 Reasons Why - In this young adult novel, a young girl commits suicide and sends tapes to the people who had a hand in the events that drove her to her death, explaining why she died. The first half leaves you thinking, “Why did she kill herself? Yeah, she had no real friends, but that’s not that bad.” If you make it through the first half, you get to the emotional, revelatory second half that comes through. By the time the mysteries unravel, you will be invested enough to care. We recommend the audiobook for this one, but the regular book is fine. We liked the protagonist too. We recommend this book to teens and others who want a reminder that they don’t know what’s going on in the heads of others and should reach out to the people they don’t normally talk to. Book Grade: A-

Ghost Story by Jim Butcher - If you haven’t read The Dresden Files, this isn’t the book to start with. If you’ve seen the TV series, know that the books are a lot better. If you’ve only read the first couple of books, know that the series gets better and more fun as Butcher gets the writing and story-crafting practice. By book 13 (this book), Butcher knows what he’s doing and is at the top of the urban fantasy heap. The main character spends this book dead, but that doesn’t stop the story, action, or character development, and we think that’s quite a feat. This is a sad, introspective one with an ending we liked. We liked that the main character questioned his very harmful decisions and we can’t wait for the next book that will probably come out in a year or so. It's impressive that a book series has gone on this long and still retains the quality of its best entries. Book Grade: B+

Love and Other Drugs - Leeard said this movie was “meh.” After arguing and trying to think differently, Ern has to agree. This is a mature, realistic love story that follows the chick-flick formula and juggles too many subplots that we don’t care about. The thing is, people who would go see this movie are chick flick lovers. They are looking for cute, funny, and opportunities to swoon. You won’t find that there. Movie Grade: C

Breaking Bad tomorrow!

Pretty Little Liars: Surface Tension review

Well, this is about a million years late, but better late than never, right? This week on Pretty Little Liars opened with Emily moving in with Hanna and Ashley Marin. They got some candy and a note from A.

Leeard (8:02:35 PM): A is the best
Ern (8:03:18 PM): It was nice of him/her to send a housewarming gift. Here’s something NO ONE is thinking: What if A has an altruistic motive that will be revealed later? What if A is using dirty means to a nice end? Is that possible?
Leeard (8:04:39 PM): I don't think it's IMPOSSIBLE. I just feel like: I’m hoping the end game is finding Ali’s real killer, if she is even dead. So, I do think one of the end results of all A’s s*** will be…cathartic? I don’t think A’s, like, altruistic though.
Ern (8:06:28 PM): I'm hoping that the end game of this SEASON is finding Ali's real killer, even if she is dead. I'm hoping A is up to something bigger (and I hope A is bad, I was just bringing up the possibility).
Leeard (8:07:01 PM): I think the girls' end game is finding Ali's killer. Like, I think they'll be satisfied once they have a real answer about that (other than finding out who A is).
Leeard (8:07:48 PM): Emily is the best
Ern (8:07:50 PM): Hey! I think the end of season two or three should end with Aria's death. The show can survive and thrive with just three of the friends.
Leeard (8:08:07 PM): I don't think so
Ern (8:08:19 PM): You don't think it can or should? Because I know it WON'T
Leeard (8:08:23 PM): Both
Ern (8:08:25 PM): But it would be beyond shocking
Leeard (8:08:34 PM): Yes, but I don’t think I’d like it.

Emily started living with Hanna and Ashley Marin, and Hanna’s a little too fun for Emily’s taste. She sings while she does her homework, dances, and makes jokes, while Emily just wants to be sweet and quiet and study in the shared room. If Ern and Leeard ever roomed together, we could totally see that happening. Ern does not study and Leeard does. And Ern has to run her mouth 90 miles per hour every day.

Leeard (8:20:25 PM): Love. Hanna.
Ern (8:20:52 PM): Hanna is so much better than the person singing (I think it’s Ke$ha).
Leeard (8:21:23 PM): Hanna is so much better than most people, just, in general.
Ern (8:21:56 PM): I wonder if Emily wears fake eyelashes on this show?
Leeard (8:22:11 PM): I want Spencer’s hair
Ern (8:22:34 PM): I'd rather have the hair of any of the other girls. Spencer's is a little thin and mousy. It's just styled to hell
Leeard (8:23:19 PM): When I say I want her hair, I usually mean that I want her hair style. I have curly hair, but I wish it were tamed like hers.
Ern (8:23:49 PM): It's called product
Leeard (8:23:56 PM): I use product, anus
Ern (8:24:07 PM): Not the right product, apparently.
Leeard (8:24:17 PM): I just don’t blow dry my hair. My hair doesn’t air dry prettily like hers.
Ern (8:24:34 PM): I don’t know how to blow my hair dry and make it look good. Just getting it dry takes too long.

Hanna found out that Caleb broke into the DMV’s web site for some criminal types and then got out of the deal. The criminals were upset when Caleb scrammed and Caleb is still worried about that. So when Hanna pressured him to “go legit” and do his business in the open or get a real job, Caleb had to tell her about his beyond-sketchy internet past. We’re pretty sure that this criminal past is going to come back to haunt Caleb, especially since they talked about it in Hanna’s room. A seems to know everything about the girls. Is it a stretch to think that those rooms are bugged? Then Hanna and Emily saw Hanna’s parents stumble in drunk, late at night, probably about to have sex.

Ern (8:12:19 PM): I love that Caleb and Hanna's little altercation there didn't end in a big fight
Leeard (8:12:40 PM): And I'm actually okay with their "altercation"
Ern (8:12:52 PM): Me too
Leeard (8:12:56 PM): He was pretty cool about Hanna getting involved with his foster mom thing
Ern (8:12:57 PM): She shouldn't fight all of his battles. I was surprised at how cool he was about that
Leeard (8:13:18 PM): Me too. And impressed.
Ern (8:35:52 PM): Too bad this is abc family. I’d watch a Hanna/Caleb sex scene
Leeard (8:36:21 PM): Read fanfic.

Ezra and Jason came over to Aria’s house for a dinner party held by her parents. A cop showed up and told Aria’s dad that Mike was caught breaking into a house.

Leeard (8:36:47 PM): ooooooooooooooooh, Mike. What an artard.
Ern (8:37:08 PM): Oh noooo. Interrupting the Jason/Ezra collision of my dreams?!!! Darn you, Mike!!!
Leeard (8:37:24 PM): Please, that's not going to happen this episode
Ern (8:37:26 PM): I deem him King Emperor Artardius, the third, after you and me, obviously.
Leeard (8:37:42 PM): I'm not a king emperor

We are pretty sure Jason has figured out that something is going on between Aria and Ezra. There was a little bit of tension between them, and Ezra looked jealous when he saw Aria and Jason sitting together, talking. Jason is also going a long way toward winning Aria’s parents over. Also, we have to say, Jason is looking tasty lately.

Ern (8:10:49 PM): Ezra, get your catfish face off the show

We saw some flashbacks of Jason and Alison fighting. Jason pretended that he was about to hit Alison with a hockey stick. Spencer shouted, “Careful!”

Ern (8:34:18 PM): Please, my brother and I pretend to hit each other with stuff like that all the time. Spencer needs to chill. And I really doubt that stick is the murder weapon. It’s another red herring.

For some reason, Mrs. Montgomery and Mrs. Marin think that Mr. Hasting (Spencer’s dad) is hiding something because he is the one who wanted all of the girls separated and in therapy. The two moms resolve to be more involved in the weirdness going on. It’s about time, ladies. Toby was busy doing some contracting work in Mr. Hasting’s yard.

Leeard (8:13:28 PM): Toby is so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuute. As much as I LOVE him with Spencer, and I do, I agree with you. I don’t think they will be together long-term. Dear Papa Spence, please don’t steal Toby’s contracting ideas or something.

While working, Toby found the aforementioned hockey stick. It said “Hastings” on it.

Ern (8:25:32 PM): I'm kind of bored right now, watching this
Leeard (8:25:42 PM): I think things might get interesting
Ern (8:25:43 PM): Is that a sword?
Leeard (8:25:53 PM): I’m pretty sure it's a field hockey stick
Ern (8:26:26 PM): You would know, sports fan
Leeard (8:26:46 PM): I mean, I’m not an artard, so .... yeah
Ern (8:27:35 PM): I beg to differ on that artard portion of the argument
Leeard (8:28:22 PM): Ugh I know. You not knowing what it is doesn’t make you an artard.
Ern (8:28:55 PM): No, I'm saying YOU'RE an artard. Not that I’m not one.
Leeard (8:32:45 PM): Field hockey. I’m good
Ern (8:32:53 PM): Yep

Spencer’s dad freaked out and burned the hockey stick, not wanting suspicion to fall on Spencer again. Spencer protested, but her dad wanted all of the drama to be over, and he sort of thinks that Spencer is loony and possibly actually involved in all the sketchiness.

Ern (8:16:36 PM): I feel really bad for Spencer. It sucks to have someone in your family really misunderstand you. I feel like these girls should try harder to tell their parents about A. Maybe not Aria, because she has a lot to lose with the Ezra thing. Or Hannah, because of her mom’s felony. But Emily and Spencer should say something if someone really dangerous is out and about.
Leeard (8:17:35 PM): Emily can be forced to move to Texas. Spencer can lose her family if they find out about the ring.
Ern (8:18:04 PM): Is that worse than hiding evidence from the police or letting A do...whatever is next? I think they would forgive Spencer pretty quickly if they knew the whole story.
Leeard (8:18:23 PM): That Spencer “borrowed” Melissa’s ring to buy a truck for Toby? Really? Also, what evidence are they hiding now that the police would listen to?
Ern (8:18:45 PM): I think the A thing would trump the pawning thing. It would overshadow it. Spencer’s parents were rich and Ian was a douche. They would just agree not to tell Melissa and move on with it. The girls could tell their whole story and the fact that they saw the rest of the video with Ian and Alison?
Leeard (8:18:55 PM): Okay, they saw it. What proof is that? The police don’t trust them. No one would trust them.
Ern (8:19:05 PM): If it were me, my mom would believe me. I probably wouldn't want her to go right to the police. I would want her to help me think it out or set a trap for A.

Finally, Aria went through Mike’s stolen stuff and found one of Jenna’s creations from pottery class. She confronted Mike (“You stole from a blind girl!”) and he said that he got the item from Cop Garrett’s house. Aria realized that Jenna and Garrett have a thing and that the cop is not to be trusted. Aria texted Spencer the news, but Spencer was already in Garrett’s car, opening up to him about all of the weirdness and about to share her theories as to who really killed Alison since Ian didn’t. She contacted him because she needed to hear the cops' theory on what the murder weapon was, so that she could rule out the hockey stick, if possible.

Ern (8:44:20 PM): YES YES YES all my dreams. BE JEALOUS EZRA, THEN GO DIE.
Leeard (8:44:50 PM): I don't think he's going to die on the show
Ern (8:44:57 PM): Good, because then we would have to sit through all of the characters mourning him. He needs to leave the show/town in disgrace and then die offscreen, in my imagination. I'm gonna start refering to Ezra as "Mr. Felch."
Leeard (8:45:31 PM): Mmmmmmmmmkay. I really love Aria’s dress. HELL YES! Garrett. Finally they know.
Ern (8:57:10 PM): YES YES YES YES
Leeard (8:57:14 PM): YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ern (8:57:18 PM): officer friendly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Leeard (8:57:36 PM): FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! S***! Nonononononononono
Ern (8:58:06 PM): nospencerstupidhead
Leeard (8:58:23 PM): spencergetoutofthecar. spencerstoptalking. saypeaceoutsucker. GETOUTOFTHECAR. WHATTHEF***?
Ern (9:00:13 PM): !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Leeard (9:00:14 PM): Well, it sure looks like A will be poisoning Emily
Ern (9:00:20 PM): Nice. Finally some action

Episode grade: B

Breaking Bad- Thirty-Eight Snub discussion

Oh Walter. We’ve stopped lamenting your descent into bad guy territory and are now just lamenting your incompetence. The show is highlighting it, showing Walt trying to draw a gun quickly out of his jacket. Who knew that was hard?

This episode’s first half was pretty slow. The show is really milking the aftermath of the last two episodes by showing us how miserable the characters are because of what happened. Walt is all paranoid (rightly so), buying a gun on the black market, and trying to see Gus so that he can kill him. All he gets is a light ass kicking courtesy of Mike, who is still awesome.

Skyler tried to buy the car wash, but the owner named a ludicrous price because of the way Walter quit. We forgot that Walt “grabbed himself” out of spite. That was funny. On another note, we love Skyler’s business acumen.

Jesse spent the episode partying and trying to keep his friends in the mood to “kick harder than a sensei.” Finally, they got tired. Jesse asked one of his friends, "Where are you going?” The friend (who has a name that we don’t care about) replied, "Home, I haven't slept in three straight days." Jesse: "I have the floor space. Crash here." Friend: "Yeah, but I have this cat. I think I'm supposed to feed it." Jesse: "Whatever, you little bitch."

Andrea showed up at Jesse’s house during the middle of the party with a wad of cash that Jesse had dropped off. Jesse told her to spend the money to get herself and her son out of their bad neighborhood. At the end of the episode, Jesse sat in front of his speaker (that was playing some gangster rap) to try to drown out his life. This didn’t seem to work, because he had his “Jesse’s breaking down” face on. This is the face that always makes us think, “Dude, Aaron Paul can ACT” and “Poor Jesse!” at the same time.

We only recently developed an admiration for Hank, but he is making us dislike him again with the way he is treating Marie. We almost dislike Marie just as much for letting him. Just because he’s sick doesn’t mean she has to take it. Marie, take a geode, throw it at Hank’s…other geodes, and walk away flipping him the bird. That will show him. Or she can just sleep Hank’s physical therapist. Yum.

The questions now are: Will Mike realize that Gus is untrustworthy after he killed Victor, a loyal follower? Will he kill Gus or help Walter kill Gus? How sweet can Jesse get before he just turns into a straight-up good guy? Will Skyler get the car wash or will they have to go back to the laser tag front idea? Will Marie cheat on Hank? (We hope so.) Why is Hank so into rocks? Seriously, that may be our most burning question.

The show is continuing its slow burn start to the season, but it re-instituted the black humor and almost Tarantino-ish random dialogue (see: the video game zombie discussion). Therefore, we deem it better than last week, even without a shocking twist or gore. This is a show that wants to make sure we get its themes before it moves onto any significant events.

Episode Grade: B

Captain America: Proof that guys too enjoy a makeover movie.

Maybe it’s because all this TV and internet has shot this blogger’s attention span to hell, but the first 1.5 hours of Captain America were really, really boring. Sure, the visuals were good, the cast was alright, and there were spurts of action, but there was nothing going on either mentally or emotionally. It took too long for the guy to become Captain America especially since the audience KNEW that he was going to become Captain America (and how it was going to happen).

We appreciate that this classic hero didn’t get anti-heroed up because of modern trends (like Arthur in the recent stupid Camelot series), and we liked the bravery and good messages and all that, but couldn’t there have been some sort of human conflict beyond good vs. Nazis? Captain America is a likeable guy and his humility is going to be a nice contrast to the attitudes of Tony Stark and Thor in the Avengers movie. There should be some good jokes there.

But if the hero is just going to be a straight good guy, you need to show how wonderful and rare that really is by amping up the evil. That meant that Hugo Weaving's baddie needed to be a lot scarier and more appalling than he actually was. He needed to be so horrifying and hated that when it came time for our hero to kick the crap out of him, the whole movie theater applauded and cheered. Instead, he was boring. He had a red skull. Big flippin' deal. His death was obligatory, not satisfying.

The action was pretty great, especially near the end. That’s when the movie became the shameless fun we wanted it to be during the first half. So if you are thinking of walking out, stick with it, because it wouldn’t be good to sit through the dull bits and miss the climactic battles.

There’s been a lot of joking about the actors’ various German accents, and it’s totally deserved. Hugo Weaving and Stanely Tucci were both playing characters from Germany and their accents were completely different, which means one of them was totally off. Maybe both. We aren’t experts in that accent, so we aren’t sure which. And why does Captain America have to wear a mask when his identity is NOT A SECRET?

This movie was sort of a prequel to the upcoming Avengers movie, which had better be good. Stay until after the credits, because there is something there to see, and after you’ve sat through all two hours of the actual movie, the credits should be easy to bear. The superhero movie of the summer is still X-Men First Class, followed by Thor. This is better than The Green Lantern though. And we were digging the retro vibe.

SPOILER ALERT in the comments, as we will be making a comment on the ending.

Movie Grade: B-

Friends with Benefits

First of all, it’s better than No Strings Attached. Why? Because it’s both funnier and more realistic. While they are torturous to watch during the first few scenes, the main characters evolve into believable people. There are more Laughs Per Minute than that other movie with this concept. Also, Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake go surprisingly well together as performers.

We’re not sure which leading actor stole the show, because Mila is so freaking gorgeous that it’s hard for even a straight girl to keep her eyes away, and Justin just did a really great job. We think he’s a serious leading man, but we’ve thought that for a while. At least since The Social Network and possibly even earlier. His movie career aspirations are no joke. He made us forget that he was Justin Timberlake and we started to see him as Dylan Harper, young man with commitment issues.

The movie digs a little deeper than No Strings Attached as well. There’s a tear-jerking plotline involving Dylan’s father. It’s raunchier, so many guys being dragged to this total chick-flick should enjoy that. Our group enjoyed the movie and pronounced it a good pick. The old people in front of us kept gasping, scandalized by some of the language and nudity (but they laughed too). So if you like risqué rom-coms, don’t miss this one. Woody Harrelson has a pretty funny character in this as well.

It’s not an “A” because we thought it was lame that it made fun of movie clichés but offered no surprises itself. It’s like the movie was trying to trick us into thinking it was cooler and less conventional than most rom-coms when it was completely by-the-book. Most rom-com fans don’t mind that though/enjoy the predictability. As a result of trying to be edgy, sometimes the movie felt a little forced.

It's very funny that these movies seem to know the truth, and supporting characters are quick to shout out, that meaningless sex never works out super well for both parties. Mila Kunis said in an interview with GQ that she had never had a friends with benefits type of relationship. She said, "It's like communism- Good in theory, in execution it fails." She remarked that she knew friends who did it and it "never ends well." We don't really need Mila or a movie to tell us that. But it's fun to watch two people figure out what everyone in the audience already knows.

Movie Grade: B+

New Show: Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

NBC, midseason

Starring: Laura Prepon and Chelsea Handler

Plot: Oh, come on. You've heard of this show. It's getting plenty of buzz. The character of young Chelsea Handler is a funny blonde who likes sleeping around and drinking. We’re pretty sure everyone knows this from watching the real, older Chelsea Handler. The show revolves around her, her dad who has a big personality, her born-again sister Sloane (played by Handler), and her friends and weird roommate. Chelsea works in a bar on the show.

Why We Are Excited: Chelsea Handler is a funny woman and she’s really honest about her skankitude. We’ve both read some of her books, including the book with the same title as this TV show. They were, for the most part, pretty funny. And Chelsea’s late night show is hilarious. Leeard gives this a score of 9.5.

Why We Are Not Excited: One of us can do without Laura Prepon and her man voice. Her acting skills leave something to be desired. Also, once again, this is a laugh track comedy. Unless the writing is great and the other characters are well-defined and equally amusing as Chelsea, we can see this being very one-note. (“There are ginger jokes, Ern! You should be wanting to see this so bad”- Leeard trying to convince Ern to give it a good score. But alas.) Ern gives this a score of 3.5, despite her love of Chelsea and excitement that she’s actually in the series.

Preview


Averaged Anticipation Score: 6.5/10

Be sure to click on the "##Upcoming Shows## link in the cloud so you can stay apprised. And let us know if you think you will be watching any of them!

New Show: Whitney

WHITNEY
NBC. Thursdays starting September 22 at 9:30.

Starring: Whitney Cummings (comedienne on Chelsea Lately)

Plot: Whitney is awkward, opinionated, and unconventional. She has a live-in boyfriend who totally loves and understands her, but she worries that boredom and the stresses of life will break them up. So she acts crazy to keep them together.

Why we are excited: Leeard gives this show an anticipation score of nine. She loves Whitney Cummings, and the show will be based on Whitney’s experiences and stand-up comedy routines. You know the woman can produce some funny material when Chelsea puts her on her show, and it’s pretty hard to be a stand-up comedian, let alone a female one. This show should appeal to fans of Friends looking for that kind of character-based relationship humor to re-emerge in a strong way. It looks like the show has a way better shot than Perfect Couples and Better with You to achieve that.

Why we are not excited: Ern gives this show an anticipation score of three. Why? Listen to that laugh track. Watch those mildly amusing scenes in the preview that will probably not make you laugh out loud. This sort of comedy and format is tired and dated to her. It looks like sitcom déjà vu that is totally unnecessary when we have Modern Family and Parks and Rec. But she will give it a two-to-three episode chance to get better than the preview and pilot.

Preview


Averaged Anticipation Score: 6/10

Be sure to click on the "##Upcoming Shows## link in the cloud so you can stay apprised. And let us know if you think you will be watching any of them!

Pretty Little Liars - Never Letting Go review

Sooooo, the quality of these posts are directly related to whether we feel like taking notes or chatting together during the episode, rather than just being lazy and watching it. Really, it’s not that much of a hassle to jot down two words every five minutes, but that’s how lazy we usually are. This is one of those posts where we are just winging it. Sorry. And here goes.

A’s Fashion Show Prank.......was amazingly hilarious AND a little scary, which is just the way we like them. We enjoyed it, because Alison was a bitch and it’s satisfying to see that announced in front of her whole town. It’s the elephant in the room. Alison was a bully and being dead doesn’t change that. We liked the sound effect screaming “The bitch is baaaack!” That sounded like an evil Avril Lavigne. It was weird that even though we have no attachment to her and she raised Alison, we still felt bad for Alison's mom.

The fashions
Some of them were very cute, but even the cute ones had too much going on. What is that fashion saying about taking one accessory off before you walk out the door? Less is more? And Aria’s last dress made no sense at all. What was that thing? The torso part of it was so unflattering that only a girl as gorgeous as Aria could even pull it off. And what was with the music during the fashion show? It kept repeating “We don’t mind the things we do for fashion” or something. We hate when music is too “on the nose” and that song sounded like something the kids in Juno would listen to while having a fashion show.

Spencer’s dad
Mr. Hastings finally got relevant. He doesn’t like Jason. Jason’s mom hardly likes Jason, because she wanted him out of town, but he came back once he got his own money. This makes us like Jason even more. He’s getting more interesting, and we need another “side mystery” to solve while the show staves off the biggest reveals. This whole Jason situation is keeping the mystery aspect of the show moving while the writers stall and try to distract us with romance.

Samara
Samara was less perfect this week! She clearly tried to make Emily jealous to get the relationship on a roll. She brought someone named “Quinn” to the fashion show and started getting flirty with her in front of Emily. Emily freaked a little bit, but the two made up. Dear Emily: Next time Quinn comes around, look in a mirror. You are so much better looking than that girl, it’s sad.

Mona and Toby
Mona is adorable even when she is annoying. Spencer is less adorable when she is annoyed, but makes up for it by kissing Toby, a boy who is so in love that he is skulking in the shadows of a fashion show.

Emily’s Mom
This woman wants some husband sex and is leaving her daughter with messed-up Mrs. Marin in order to get it. Sure, Mrs. Marin has a lot on her plate trying to work out her relationship with Mr. Marin, but this is fine with us. Ashley Marin is the most chill parent on the block, and Emily can finally get into some trouble and have girls stay the night. If Hanna can have a guy stay in the basement, it’s only fair.

Hanna’s mom
We don’t really care if she gets back with her husband. It would be nice for Hanna, and we liked watching her dad trying to win her back and Hanna calling him up to the carpet for bad behavior. But other than that, we really don’t care about this plotline unless A shows up quickly to spice it up.

Caleb, Noel, Jason
Hanna has taken two steps back from Caleb after she kissed him last week, which keeps the tension alive. She finally let him walk her home from the fashion show. Noel Kahn was the DJ, and he was hotter than most DJs. Jason and Aria are getting closer. She let him walk her home. Ezra Fitz was out of town. We approve of all of this. Stamp of approval on this entire paragraph.

Episode grade: A-

Movies We Watched This Weekend: The Lincoln Lawyer and Horrible Bosses

Horrible Bosses
The bad news first: This movie is not that witty. The script is nothing to write home about. The good news? The performances are so good that you might not notice. Everyone here has a lot of fun milking every line, moment, and facial expression for all it’s worth, including Jennifer Aniston, who is a lot more fun when she is playing a smart or evil character, rather than the regular “cute girl.”

Jason Bateman plays the same guy he usually plays (Michael in Arrested Development), but who doesn’t like that? (He plays a different kind of guy in State of Play, The Kingdom, Juno, and The Switch, in case you thought he was always the nice everyman.) They showed most of the first half of the movie in the trailer. If you haven’t seen the trailer, avoid the trailer and you will enjoy this movie more than everyone else. The theater laughed enough to make this worth a rental with some buddies and beer in a few months. We laughed.

Movie Grade: B-
The Lincoln Lawyer
There is a pretty nasty dilemma and example of necessary brokenness in the rivalry based legal system. What if you find something out through a client, and in order for justice to be done, someone has to find out, but you can’t tell because of lawyer/client confidentiality? If you break that rule, you can be tossed off the state bar association and even sued. You can’t be a lawyer anymore. There have actually been cases where lawyers knew innocent people were in prison but couldn’t say anything without permission from the client.

Even if you tell what you heard, take the hit, and get another job, the info often can’t be used against your client in court because it is “privileged.” This movie is about a lawyer who has to fix some messed-up things without getting in trouble, betraying his client in the case he was working on, or going to the police. It really is about time someone made a movie about this.

If you like legal dramas and understand the court system at all, this is the movie for you. We get to see Breaking Bad’s Bryan Cranston and Angela Montenegro from Bones as detectives in the movie, which is fun. It’s nice to see that Ryan Phillippe still has a purpose in life (if a small one). The mom from Titanic reprises her role has a snooty rich woman. Matthew McCona-we-are-never-going-to-know-how-to-spell-that-name-whatsit makes a good lawyer, as usual. Marissa Tomei, what are you doing? It’s sad to see an Oscar winner taking a bit role, but there aren’t as many roles for women over 35, are there?

Not groundbreaking, but enjoyable. If you like courtroom dramas/Law and Order, you will be entertained. If you do not, you won’t be.

Movie Grade: B+

Breaking Bad Season Four Premiere Discussion

We like the direction this is going and it looks like the show has still got it. Thanks for tuning in! The audience was at a record high for this show. It seems the word is finally getting out.

As an audience, we've known for a while that Gus will one day have to go. He’s never been a huge fan of Walt, and he’s always hated Jesse. There has been tension between Gus and Walt before. Of course Walt is right that one day it will be Jesse/Walt or Gus. We’re glad to see the show officially begin what is sure to be a wild battle against Gus. This episode meandered a bit. It was a long break, and we guess the show runners decided that the audience needed a reminder of what is going on and where the characters stand.

The big surprise of this episode was the death of Victor. We gasped with Gus took a box cutter to Victor's throat, because it just seemed so out-of-the-blue. Why did Gus kill Victor when Victor was clearly brilliant, observant, and loyal? Well, he sort of blew it at the crime scene with Gale. If Victor can lead from Gale’s murder back to Gus in any way, Victor had to go. Not only did Victor get himself seen, but he didn’t take Gale’s folder full of incriminating information.

Another plus for Gus? He has to know that he’s scared Walt and Jesse into at least a month of obedience. We don’t think Gus snapped or is crazy. He’s too calm and intentional for that. We are sure that Gus had plenty of motives for killing Victor. Maybe there is one that the show hasn't yet given us, but those two things are our best guesses. Ern's cousin thinks that it was a combination of Gus acting out of anger and wanting to affirm is authority, because Victor stepped outside of his appointed job description by cooking. What we really can’t figure out is why Hank is buying so many little rocks on the internet. We don’t even have a guess.

Speaking of Hank: We weren’t impressed with the character until the twins tried to kill him and he got shot. He is a freaking bad ass. But sidelined in bed and being mean to Marie and taking all of Walt’s cash without knowing it? We are starting to hate him again. Anyone who makes us feel bad for Marie is unwelcome. We still see her as the woman who steals things.

Back to Gale’s folder… If Jesse goes to prison for this for even a second, we are going to howl with rage. Jesse’s reactions to his deed and the events of this episode made our bad boy-loving hearts ache even more. But it’s a good twist to have the cops crawling all over that place. For some reason, we forgot that the cops were even around anymore with Hank lying in bed and drug lords being the real threats for so long.

Skyler is getting so much more manipulative! She’s turning into a real Mrs. Heisenberg. We feel like the show needs to examine her motives a little more. It's just money? She's kind of a smart woman who loves her family. We feel like that shouldn't be enough to turn her into Walt's crime buddy. We caught glimpses of Saul acting paranoid. When Saul dies, it had better be memorable. For now, we just want to see more of him. He's a good, funny character.

Walt has also been annoying us a little bit with his begging and rambling. This time, it was understandable, because he was trying to talk Gus into thinking that he needs Walt/begging for his life. But Walt does a lot of explaining and pleading. It’s as if he doesn’t even know he’s been WRONG for more than three seasons. Gus is not your wife, Walt. And the same tactic didn't really do wonders with her either (leaving a bag of money in her vicinity did though).

Jesse is continuing on what we think (hope?) is just a very rocky path to redemption. He spent most of the episode in shocked silence. He’s not out of the woods yet, but he’s headed out. Unless the show kills him. He was supposed to die a long time ago, did you know? The writers changed their minds. Nothing is safe to assume with this show.

As for Walt? We don’t see him ever getting his compassion and integrity back. And we like it. Bring on Kingpin Walt and then kill him in the end. That’s what we would do. However, once again, we are not certain of Walt's fate. He still has a sweet loyalty to Jesse. For the most part, he seems to have lost his center. He's a mess and he didn't feel bad about ordering Gale's death at all. Gale was kind of a nice guy too, for someone who cooked drugs.

Quite a bit of blood and gore in this premiere. If we were comparing Breaking Bad with any other show on TV, we would give this premiere an A. But that’s not fair, so we will compare it with itself/its other episodes. What was it missing? A lot of this show's signature black humor and fun. And after such a long wait, they needed to give us more plot rather than spend time reacquainting us with the situations.

Episode Grade: B-

And check out this analysis of how much time has actually passed on this show: http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2011/07/breaking_bad_calendar.html

New Show: Awake

AWAKE
Midseason replacement

Starring: Jason Isaacs (Harry Potter, The Patriot), Cherry Jones (24), Wilmer Valderrama (That '70s Show).

Plot: A police detective wakes up after a car accident involving his family (a wife and son) and spends the show alternating between two realities. In one, his son died in the crash, in the other, his wife did. He has different cases in the different realities, different partners, and even different shrinks. Details from the realities overlap in the cases he has to solve. Understandably, he has no desire to eliminate either reality and give one of his loved ones up.

Why we are excited: We love Jason Isaacs. He was so excited and grateful to be in Harry Potter. Every time we read a quote by that guy, he just sounds so appreciative of his life. He usually does a good job when he’s in things. Also, the trailer is great. Listen to that music. We felt a little of the emotional impact. We love when they put supernatural spins on procedurals. The premise is interesting. This is probably the new show we want to see the most.

Why we are not excited: One of the youtube commenters said it all- The trailer will probably be better than the show. It’s a lot to live up to and it had better not disappoint. How can it be as affecting as it looks? Also, why do we have to wait for midseason? UGH.



Anticipation score: 10/10

Be sure to click on the "##Upcoming Shows## link in the cloud so you can stay apprised. And let us know if you think you will be watching any of them!