Terra Nova - “What Remains”
Much better than last week, show. However, viewership dipped after that last episode, so no one got to see the show start to be genuinely fun. We still have a lot of problems with the show. The most glaring one that we don’t think we’ve mentioned yet (see the previous post for a list of other problems) is that culture apparently hasn’t evolved in 100 years, even with this cool thing called the internet.
There are no new curse words, for one thing. Remember how in Firefly, you bought that these were people from the future? Still people, but different then us? Or Battlestar Galactica? Terra Nova has none of that. These people look, dress, speak, and act like people from 2011. Cheesy people with no depth or real emotional problems from 2011. Also, the guy who plays Jim cannot act when it comes to sneezing.
However, this episode got a thumbs up from both of us. Compared to last week’s bore-fest, this was an entertaining work of art. There was action, and the dinosaurs were back, and they weren’t just annoying little birds. The characters have more chemistry with each other. The action of the week helped us get to know our characters better, and it made us care about the Jim/Elizabeth relationship a little bit. People are comparing this episode with Star Trek, and that’s not far off. It’s also not a bad thing.
We had a little bit of a LOST touch when the episode started with a high-tech room and a guy freaking out. We didn’t know where this was or who this guy was, and that pulled us in, because with this show so far, we’ve always seen things coming a mile away. Then the man gets eaten by a carnosaur. Yes show! That’s what we like. Elizabeth and Taylor go off to investigate the research center this man was from, because they are having a problem communicating with that offsite facility.
Taylor, Elizabeth, and a random guy go and find the research center crawling with people who think they are living in some point in their past, along with research logs from when the scientists were almost sane and trying to figure out what was happening to them. Elizabeth determines that this amnesia was caused by a pathogen. There’s that scientifically plausible show we’ve come to know and love! Elizabeth, Taylor, and the random guy realize that Dr. Elizabeth needs to figure out how to cure these people and get everyone’s memory back, because they too have probably been exposed.
Soon, they actually do lose their memories. Zoe caught a cold, so Jim caught it from her. Kids are always sick, huh? Eventually, Jim and Malcolm go out to check on them. When they arrive, Malcolm decides that Elizabeth can still help cure the condition. She thinks she is a university student still dating Malcolm (Jim just loved this), and she was brilliant them too. So Malcolm, to keep things simple, omits her marriage and children from his description of her life and asks for her help. Jim goes looking for Taylor and leaves some threats while Malcolm and Elizabeth nerd out.
Jim finds Taylor. Taylor thinks he is still fighting a war in Somalia, and that his wife and son have been taken by the enemy. We loved this. Taylor has been a little too perfect and capable up until now. Seeing him totally irrational, violent, and scary was awesome. We liked when he tried to kill himself once someone told him his wife was dead. This is definitely a different side to this guy who apparently had a darker past than we though. It makes sense though.
Taylor knocks Jim out and heads for Terra Nova, looking for answers. Jim wakes up and finds Malcolm putting the moves on Elizabeth. Jim tackles Malcolm, and Malcolm says, “Oh, it was the pathogen. I’m going in and out of reality. And I was dating your wife in the time I flash back to.” Mmhmm. Elizabeth doesn’t get what’s going on. For a genius, she sure can’t put two and two together. These guys are jealously mooning over her. It’s been 20 years. Does she really think she stayed single until her 40s?
Jim and Malcolm find guy #3 who is knocked out and drag him to the safety of the lab. They are almost eaten by a dinosaur. We shrug. We can only ask for one death by dinosaur per episode, so we won’t be greedy today. Finally, Elizabeth realizes Jim is her husband and gets all tender. She realizes that it’s Jim’s cold that is keeping him from losing his memory. She makes out with him in order to get those pathogens to block the bad pathogens. We are satisfied that Elizabeth really would choose Jim over Malcolm, because even with no memories of Jim and thoughts of Malcolm being her current boyfriend, she picked Jim.
The most interesting thing going on, if you intend to continue watching this show, happened with Josh and Skye. Not them making out and then Josh realizing that he wants to be faithful to his girlfriend. No, not Josh getting a job with a bartender who says that he can help him get his gf to Terra Nova. What’s neato is that the bartender is the Sixers’ inside man, he’s bringing them supplies, and he intends to use Josh to the Sixers’ advantage because of who Josh’s father is.
We are wondering why Skye would take Josh to that bartender. She knew that he is the man who can get things from the future. Does she know why? Does Skye know that it’s because he has help from Sixers? She is crushing on Josh, and it seems a little too nice that she would help get her rival for his affections into their little town just out of the goodness of her heart. Is she setting Josh up too?
We deem this a “family show,” to be watched with your adolescents and older elementary school students. It’s mild, inoffensive, and nice enough. Even with amnesia and cheesy love dialogue in it, this episode entertained us.
Episode grade: B
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
New Show: Missing
Missing
ABC, Midseason
Starring: Ashley Judd (Where the Heart Is, Double Jeopardy)
Plot: Ashley Judd’s son disappears during his summer internship in Italy. She goes to Europe to find hime. She’s a retired CIA agent who will do anything to get her son back.
Why We Are Excited: LOVE Ashley Judd!!
Why We Are Not Excited: This is just like Taken, only with the genders swapped. Wait, that actually sounds awesome. Also, how long can this go one? How long is it going to take her to find him?
Preview:
Anticipation Score: 7.5/10
Be sure to click on the "##Upcoming Shows## link in the cloud so you can stay apprised. And let us know if you think you will be watching any of them!
ABC, Midseason
Starring: Ashley Judd (Where the Heart Is, Double Jeopardy)
Plot: Ashley Judd’s son disappears during his summer internship in Italy. She goes to Europe to find hime. She’s a retired CIA agent who will do anything to get her son back.
Why We Are Excited: LOVE Ashley Judd!!
Why We Are Not Excited: This is just like Taken, only with the genders swapped. Wait, that actually sounds awesome. Also, how long can this go one? How long is it going to take her to find him?
Preview:
Anticipation Score: 7.5/10
Be sure to click on the "##Upcoming Shows## link in the cloud so you can stay apprised. And let us know if you think you will be watching any of them!
Puppies that are not on fire
How I Met Your Mother - "Field Trip"
Ern didn’t even like Ewoks when we were kids. Leeard did (and still does). Barney’s theory was hilarious though. We loved the Friday Night Lights reference, although it was only the beginning of season two that we didn’t like, and all of the murder portion.
Marshall and Lily: Marshall’s boss has given up on saving the world, but Marshall gives him a pep talk, and they come down a little harder on a big company that killed some fish. It was a victory for humankind. And fish. Future Ted lets us know that Marshall and his boss actually will save the world. Awww, how optimistic and unlikely! If lawyers could save the world, Ern would want to be one more.
Ted: Tries to inspire someone in his class to become an architect, so he takes the class (and a random German family that tagged along) on a field trip. They go to GNB and meet Barney. We really could have stood to see more of Barney’s presentations. Stupid spoilsport Ted. Then they go to Ted’s apartment. Then they end at the bar. Great field trip, Ted. He inspires no one. We liked the thing where Barney and Ted used the class as a focus group to settle their old disputes. We could have seen more of that. And there could have been better debates. Making fun of Twilight is old guys. We’ve been doing it since before the first movie came out.
Barney: Worries that Nora is 37 and lied about her age. She didn’t. Barney is still willing to accept her if she is old, because of how good she looks, so this is romantic progress for Barney.
Ern didn’t even like Ewoks when we were kids. Leeard did (and still does). Barney’s theory was hilarious though. We loved the Friday Night Lights reference, although it was only the beginning of season two that we didn’t like, and all of the murder portion.
Marshall and Lily: Marshall’s boss has given up on saving the world, but Marshall gives him a pep talk, and they come down a little harder on a big company that killed some fish. It was a victory for humankind. And fish. Future Ted lets us know that Marshall and his boss actually will save the world. Awww, how optimistic and unlikely! If lawyers could save the world, Ern would want to be one more.
Ted: Tries to inspire someone in his class to become an architect, so he takes the class (and a random German family that tagged along) on a field trip. They go to GNB and meet Barney. We really could have stood to see more of Barney’s presentations. Stupid spoilsport Ted. Then they go to Ted’s apartment. Then they end at the bar. Great field trip, Ted. He inspires no one. We liked the thing where Barney and Ted used the class as a focus group to settle their old disputes. We could have seen more of that. And there could have been better debates. Making fun of Twilight is old guys. We’ve been doing it since before the first movie came out.
Barney: Worries that Nora is 37 and lied about her age. She didn’t. Barney is still willing to accept her if she is old, because of how good she looks, so this is romantic progress for Barney.
Robin: Dating her therapist from the last episode. Everyone thinks this is a mistake, but we say that people should mostly shut up about the people that their friends and family choose to date.
They are the ones who have to root them. In the throes of love, they won’t change their mind. If they are with addicts or being abused or something, that’s another story. We actually thought her solution took care of the inherent problem in dating your therapist. First of all, she wasn’t in therapy with him for that long (two hours), and second of all, she took away the power and authority façade by having him whine about his mom. It’s also nice to have someone shake up the potential Ted/Barney/Robin thing.
Episode grade: B-
Episode grade: B-
Is it rebellion? Or is this love?
The Good Wife - “Get a Room”
Yessssss. It’s not love. It could be rebellion, but it’s not love. We have always been of the opinion that neither Will nor Peter are good enough for Alicia. A third player could show up at the end of the season who is a little more worthy. Alicia may change her mind and grow to love Will. We’re pretty sure she’ll never make the mistake of going back to Peter. Either way, we like where this is heading and her answer to her brother’s question.
We liked the mediation plot. It’s cool to see a mediation rather than just usual court scenes with an uncooperative judge. Dr. Cuddy guests on this episode, and she will be on it for at least three episodes. She is an ex-girlfriend of Will’s, and Lisa Edelstein does a good job. It was a smart move to ditch House and move to this as a transition show. Eli Gold gets burned managing a cheese crisis when a listeria outbreak strikes school kids. We really doubt that in real life, the news would show so many children barfing up cheese, but it was pretty funny.
Cary calls Kalinda out for using her sensuality and general awesomeness to make guys go for her in order to get information. Cary looks really sad when he says this, and we feel bad for him. Mostly because he is cute. But he’s much more sympathetic on this show than he was in Gilmore Girls (and the Tucker Max movie, but that’s a given).
Homeland - “Grace”
We don’t know about those credits. On the one hand, they are creative, they give the viewer a good idea about the show, they are unsettling, and they remind us of something David Fincher would do. On the other hand, inserting some of the more dramatic dialogue from the pilot seemed heavy-handed. We loved the pictures of a young Claire Danes.
For his first day home alone, Brody crouches in the corner of his bedroom. Carrie watches him, disturbed by this. As her boss points out, this seems perfectly natural for a POW of eight years. Why isn’t this man in immediate psychiatric counseling? Seriously, even if there were no chance that he had been turned, it would be a good call, we think. We anticipate the wife bringing it up, Brody getting angry, and us agreeing. Mrs. Brody is pretty much the most sympathetic character here.
How boring does it have to be for Carrie to sit and watch some guy putter around the house all day. And she can’t see in the garage!? Unacceptable!!!!!! Where else would a guy build a bomb or do secret guy things? Carrie has decided that everything Brody does is definite proof that he’s a terrorist. He stays home? Terrorist. He has nightmares? Terrorist. He goes to a hardware store? Obviously a terrorist. He punches a reporter in the throat? Rude. And a terrorist. Lots of her evidence is unconvincing, but she still may be right.
We got a little “real” terrorist evidence. First, Brody is angry that he had to fight what he sees as a pointless war. This isn’t really proof, because plenty of decent people feel that way about the war, but it goes to motive for turning to the other side. Anger is a good motive. Second, Brody goes into his garage at dawn and starts praying to Allah and bowing, like Muslims do. This isn’t really proof, because plenty of decent people are Muslims. But, once again, motive. And it shows that the enemy influenced Brody.
However, this makes us think that Brody is going to turn out to be innocent. At least partly innocent, because the best thing this show can do is somehow find a way to make both Carrie and Brody right, or at least understandable. He can’t be all wrong, because that might be a PR nightmare for Showtime. If he is a terrorist, then this episode strongly suggested that Islam = terrorist. Anyone who is facing Mecca and chanting a prayer is about two seconds from making a crappy video and sawing someone’s head off.
Finally, Brody goes outside, talks to the reporters, and “plays the hero card,” just like Saul said a terrorist would. This is the only real piece of evidence that Carrie gets to see, because she has no visual access to the garage. Saul blackmails a judge to get Carrie legal surveillance rights.
A new character is introduced: Lynne Reed. She’s undercover as a Saudi prince’s assistant. Carrie recruited her and deals with her. The interviewing of potential harem girls was horrible, funny, and professional at the same time. That was a very interesting scene. Lynne saw and videotaped Abu Nazir, which really gets Carrie excited. Carrie tells Lynne that she is being watched and protected, even though Carrie’s boss turned the protection request down. We bet Lynne is the first death in this show.
We see the source of Carrie’s antipsychotic meds: her sister, Maggie. Maggie has two cute little girls who love Carrie. We find out that Carrie and Maggie’s father suffers from the same mental condition that Carrie has. The show still has us hooked. Suspense fans who like smart shows should jump on this bandwagon before it takes off.
Episode grade: A-
Yessssss. It’s not love. It could be rebellion, but it’s not love. We have always been of the opinion that neither Will nor Peter are good enough for Alicia. A third player could show up at the end of the season who is a little more worthy. Alicia may change her mind and grow to love Will. We’re pretty sure she’ll never make the mistake of going back to Peter. Either way, we like where this is heading and her answer to her brother’s question.
We liked the mediation plot. It’s cool to see a mediation rather than just usual court scenes with an uncooperative judge. Dr. Cuddy guests on this episode, and she will be on it for at least three episodes. She is an ex-girlfriend of Will’s, and Lisa Edelstein does a good job. It was a smart move to ditch House and move to this as a transition show. Eli Gold gets burned managing a cheese crisis when a listeria outbreak strikes school kids. We really doubt that in real life, the news would show so many children barfing up cheese, but it was pretty funny.
Cary calls Kalinda out for using her sensuality and general awesomeness to make guys go for her in order to get information. Cary looks really sad when he says this, and we feel bad for him. Mostly because he is cute. But he’s much more sympathetic on this show than he was in Gilmore Girls (and the Tucker Max movie, but that’s a given).
Homeland - “Grace”
We don’t know about those credits. On the one hand, they are creative, they give the viewer a good idea about the show, they are unsettling, and they remind us of something David Fincher would do. On the other hand, inserting some of the more dramatic dialogue from the pilot seemed heavy-handed. We loved the pictures of a young Claire Danes.
For his first day home alone, Brody crouches in the corner of his bedroom. Carrie watches him, disturbed by this. As her boss points out, this seems perfectly natural for a POW of eight years. Why isn’t this man in immediate psychiatric counseling? Seriously, even if there were no chance that he had been turned, it would be a good call, we think. We anticipate the wife bringing it up, Brody getting angry, and us agreeing. Mrs. Brody is pretty much the most sympathetic character here.
How boring does it have to be for Carrie to sit and watch some guy putter around the house all day. And she can’t see in the garage!? Unacceptable!!!!!! Where else would a guy build a bomb or do secret guy things? Carrie has decided that everything Brody does is definite proof that he’s a terrorist. He stays home? Terrorist. He has nightmares? Terrorist. He goes to a hardware store? Obviously a terrorist. He punches a reporter in the throat? Rude. And a terrorist. Lots of her evidence is unconvincing, but she still may be right.
We got a little “real” terrorist evidence. First, Brody is angry that he had to fight what he sees as a pointless war. This isn’t really proof, because plenty of decent people feel that way about the war, but it goes to motive for turning to the other side. Anger is a good motive. Second, Brody goes into his garage at dawn and starts praying to Allah and bowing, like Muslims do. This isn’t really proof, because plenty of decent people are Muslims. But, once again, motive. And it shows that the enemy influenced Brody.
However, this makes us think that Brody is going to turn out to be innocent. At least partly innocent, because the best thing this show can do is somehow find a way to make both Carrie and Brody right, or at least understandable. He can’t be all wrong, because that might be a PR nightmare for Showtime. If he is a terrorist, then this episode strongly suggested that Islam = terrorist. Anyone who is facing Mecca and chanting a prayer is about two seconds from making a crappy video and sawing someone’s head off.
Finally, Brody goes outside, talks to the reporters, and “plays the hero card,” just like Saul said a terrorist would. This is the only real piece of evidence that Carrie gets to see, because she has no visual access to the garage. Saul blackmails a judge to get Carrie legal surveillance rights.
A new character is introduced: Lynne Reed. She’s undercover as a Saudi prince’s assistant. Carrie recruited her and deals with her. The interviewing of potential harem girls was horrible, funny, and professional at the same time. That was a very interesting scene. Lynne saw and videotaped Abu Nazir, which really gets Carrie excited. Carrie tells Lynne that she is being watched and protected, even though Carrie’s boss turned the protection request down. We bet Lynne is the first death in this show.
We see the source of Carrie’s antipsychotic meds: her sister, Maggie. Maggie has two cute little girls who love Carrie. We find out that Carrie and Maggie’s father suffers from the same mental condition that Carrie has. The show still has us hooked. Suspense fans who like smart shows should jump on this bandwagon before it takes off.
Episode grade: A-
Monday, October 10, 2011
Mos Def the start of a good season, but this one wasn't too memorable
Dexter - "Once Upon a Time"
This week, the pendulum swung the other way. Last time, religion didn’t come out looking rational. This week, it still doesn’t look rational, but it was portrayed as ballsy, life changing, and powerful. We do not deny that religion has effected and changed individual lives for the better. Our only complaint is that the good religious person is black. That sounds bad, so let us explain. There is nothing wrong with black Christians, but it’s just another example of the fact that TV has trouble having nice Christians who are also white.
This week, the pendulum swung the other way. Last time, religion didn’t come out looking rational. This week, it still doesn’t look rational, but it was portrayed as ballsy, life changing, and powerful. We do not deny that religion has effected and changed individual lives for the better. Our only complaint is that the good religious person is black. That sounds bad, so let us explain. There is nothing wrong with black Christians, but it’s just another example of the fact that TV has trouble having nice Christians who are also white.
It’s like if you are white and a Christian, you are the devil. But if you are black and spiritual, you are a magical Morgan Freeman type. Examples: The Shepherd on Firefly/Serenity, Mercedes on Glee (compare to Quinn), Rose on LOST, Mr. Eko on LOST, Bailey on Grey’s Anatomy, and Chris Turk on Scrubs. 7th Heaven is a big exception, but that wasn’t really a mainstream show in that it catered to a specific audience (white Christians). Also, some of those characters sucked.
It’s a rule in TV and movies that if you make your Christian character black, then they are allowed to be sympathetic, and your show will get away with it rather than appear preachy. This is really odd to us. What’s the reason? Because we’ve noticed it multiple times. Is it because people remember Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. as the last respectable popular minister in the media? Is it because they are seen as underdogs not using it to gain political power?
It’s a rule in TV and movies that if you make your Christian character black, then they are allowed to be sympathetic, and your show will get away with it rather than appear preachy. This is really odd to us. What’s the reason? Because we’ve noticed it multiple times. Is it because people remember Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. as the last respectable popular minister in the media? Is it because they are seen as underdogs not using it to gain political power?
Just as it’s not fair for white Christians to always be portrayed as hateful, it’s unfair to black atheists and agnostics to always be portrayed as Christians. We knew one young black woman who told us that she grew up thinking “all black people are Christians.” This is interesting to us, because we don’t know why TV has embraced these stereotypes. If you don’t believe us, just keep an eye out. You’ll start to notice it’s the rule rather than the exception. In any event, now we have Brother Sam on Dexter, and he is, in fact, a brother. He’s played by Mos Def, whom we love.
What’s going on with Travis and his older boss? They are those guys who put snakes in people. Is it a weird cult? What’s going on there? Dexter seems to think it’s a person in a league of serial killers who treat their dark passengers like a religion. They seem to think some sort of end is near, and Travis isn’t allowed to see his sister? Very weird, and very creepy. Also, fun. We liked the shot of Travis at the end, about to hit a fatally helpful guy in the head with a rock.
Poor Quinn. We actually don’t dislike him, like a lot of fans do. Deb is his boss now (the perks of being a YouTube star), and they are definitely not getting married. We sort of hope that Deb misses him and decides she wants to marry him at the end of the season. But, more than that, we want her to find out about Dexter. After last season, she can handle it. We like that Deb is the Lieutenant, and she handled things perfectly with Angel. It was kind of sad at the end where Dexter realized that it was time to hide his true self from Harrison. Aww, he had another year before the memory would become a problem, at least.
What’s going on with Travis and his older boss? They are those guys who put snakes in people. Is it a weird cult? What’s going on there? Dexter seems to think it’s a person in a league of serial killers who treat their dark passengers like a religion. They seem to think some sort of end is near, and Travis isn’t allowed to see his sister? Very weird, and very creepy. Also, fun. We liked the shot of Travis at the end, about to hit a fatally helpful guy in the head with a rock.
Poor Quinn. We actually don’t dislike him, like a lot of fans do. Deb is his boss now (the perks of being a YouTube star), and they are definitely not getting married. We sort of hope that Deb misses him and decides she wants to marry him at the end of the season. But, more than that, we want her to find out about Dexter. After last season, she can handle it. We like that Deb is the Lieutenant, and she handled things perfectly with Angel. It was kind of sad at the end where Dexter realized that it was time to hide his true self from Harrison. Aww, he had another year before the memory would become a problem, at least.
Overall, this was a set-up episode. Pretty much a 50-minute teaser to the creepy things to come (hopefully).
Episode grade: B-
Actually, JFK didn't make a mistake in his speech/call himself a jelly doughnut. Just fyi.
Pan Am - "Ich bin ein Berliner"
Which Pan Am do you guys prefer? The fluffy, fun period piece with girls avoiding their moms and standing up for their rights against that old lady who forces them to wear girdles? Or the Cold War spy drama? Critics seem to prefer the fluff, and while that is better done, without the Cold War drama, it might come off as shallow or stakes-free. Because what real problems do these women have other than that?
Ern loved this episode because there was German in it. Ern is trying to learn German, and it’s slow going, but it will happen. Leeard likes this show partly because she thinks the CIA handler is cute. We’re not liking Laura yet. She’s still a bit dim and helpless for our tastes, but in the ‘60s she was probably raised to be that way, and maybe she will get a little bolder as the series goes on and she gets more life experience.
Laura turned down a kiss from Pilot Ted, who excuses his attempt by saying that she’s so pretty he cannot be blamed. Later, they talk and Laura gives him a smile, so it seems like she’s not completely turned off by this guy. We are.
Maggie is a die-hard JFK fan. She knows he is going to be in Berlin where her layover is, and so she does not give up until she convinces one of the reporters on her flight to hook her up with a press pass. We are not Christina Ricci fans (she should have stopped after The Addams Family), but Maggie is a fun and very tenacious character. She gets a wave from Kennedy for all her trouble. The silhouette looks nothing like him. The shadow is a little bigger than we would have thought Kennedy was, anyway.
But we did feel for Colette in the last scene when she said that she came to try to forgive, but it wasn’t possible. She and Dean are getting closer, which will cause triangular drama if and when Bridget comes back. We feel like she should. The Dean character should get both information and closure there.
Kate’s mission goes awry this week when her contact, Greta, is compromised, and Kate wants to save her from the Commies. But her handler is all, “That’s not our problem.” Kate makes it her problem. She sneaks Greta into a party dressed as a Pan Am stewardess and hands her off to someone who can get her out of the country. Her handler is not pleased, but Kate is still allowed to be a courier.
This episode went for our emotions by referencing the German occupation of France/the Holocaust/WW2. It was only a little more than 20 years ago that this happened, so it seems fitting that the show addressed it while the girls were in Germany. We were a little annoyed with Colette having to sing in German and cry in front of everyone. Also, she was rude to several German people who may or may not have had anything to do with the terrible events that caused Colette to lose her parents.
Colette also got all up in Greta’s lederhosen for delivering bread to the enemy when she was about five years old. Like she had a choice. Colette is still adorable though. And her singing voice is decent too. All the bad things happen to her! Getting lied to by a married man, having no family, and possibly crushing on Dean, who is in love with Bridget is a lot. Unfortunate things need to happen to other girls, because Colette is stealing the ensemble show.
We actually like both the spy stuff and the fluff stuff. We think they both need to be done better though. The spy stuff needs to be fleshed out a little, we need to hear or see what happens as a result of one of Kate’s deliveries, and it needs to make more sense. Maybe Kate should hook up with her handler too. We did not like the flashforward. Overall, we liked the episode.
Episode grade: B
Which Pan Am do you guys prefer? The fluffy, fun period piece with girls avoiding their moms and standing up for their rights against that old lady who forces them to wear girdles? Or the Cold War spy drama? Critics seem to prefer the fluff, and while that is better done, without the Cold War drama, it might come off as shallow or stakes-free. Because what real problems do these women have other than that?
Ern loved this episode because there was German in it. Ern is trying to learn German, and it’s slow going, but it will happen. Leeard likes this show partly because she thinks the CIA handler is cute. We’re not liking Laura yet. She’s still a bit dim and helpless for our tastes, but in the ‘60s she was probably raised to be that way, and maybe she will get a little bolder as the series goes on and she gets more life experience.
Laura turned down a kiss from Pilot Ted, who excuses his attempt by saying that she’s so pretty he cannot be blamed. Later, they talk and Laura gives him a smile, so it seems like she’s not completely turned off by this guy. We are.
Maggie is a die-hard JFK fan. She knows he is going to be in Berlin where her layover is, and so she does not give up until she convinces one of the reporters on her flight to hook her up with a press pass. We are not Christina Ricci fans (she should have stopped after The Addams Family), but Maggie is a fun and very tenacious character. She gets a wave from Kennedy for all her trouble. The silhouette looks nothing like him. The shadow is a little bigger than we would have thought Kennedy was, anyway.
But we did feel for Colette in the last scene when she said that she came to try to forgive, but it wasn’t possible. She and Dean are getting closer, which will cause triangular drama if and when Bridget comes back. We feel like she should. The Dean character should get both information and closure there.
Kate’s mission goes awry this week when her contact, Greta, is compromised, and Kate wants to save her from the Commies. But her handler is all, “That’s not our problem.” Kate makes it her problem. She sneaks Greta into a party dressed as a Pan Am stewardess and hands her off to someone who can get her out of the country. Her handler is not pleased, but Kate is still allowed to be a courier.
This episode went for our emotions by referencing the German occupation of France/the Holocaust/WW2. It was only a little more than 20 years ago that this happened, so it seems fitting that the show addressed it while the girls were in Germany. We were a little annoyed with Colette having to sing in German and cry in front of everyone. Also, she was rude to several German people who may or may not have had anything to do with the terrible events that caused Colette to lose her parents.
Colette also got all up in Greta’s lederhosen for delivering bread to the enemy when she was about five years old. Like she had a choice. Colette is still adorable though. And her singing voice is decent too. All the bad things happen to her! Getting lied to by a married man, having no family, and possibly crushing on Dean, who is in love with Bridget is a lot. Unfortunate things need to happen to other girls, because Colette is stealing the ensemble show.
We actually like both the spy stuff and the fluff stuff. We think they both need to be done better though. The spy stuff needs to be fleshed out a little, we need to hear or see what happens as a result of one of Kate’s deliveries, and it needs to make more sense. Maybe Kate should hook up with her handler too. We did not like the flashforward. Overall, we liked the episode.
Episode grade: B
Holy Moly- Are you still rooting for Walt, what did you think of the episode, and where is the show going next?
Breaking Bad- "Face Off"
Does anyone remember Dragon Ball Z? Ern’s little brother used to watch it with her, and we would just sit and complain about how nothing ever happened. It was an action soap opera. It was like there was only one fight per season, and everything was building toward the hero’s defeat of that one enemy per season. The people would stand with their arms raised and just grunt and scream at each other, while the side characters danced around, uselessly. And yet, we watched the show every day, because we cared, and we wouldn’t have missed a second of those battles. This season of Breaking Bad reminds us of that. It took Walter White forever to gather that spirit bomb. And like it Dragon Ball Z, it was terrifically violent and totally worth it in the end.
Jesse is held and questioned about Brock’s poisoning. He calls Saul, and Saul shows. Jesse tells Saul to tell Walt that his opportunity to kill Gus might come in Tio Salamanca. Gus’ house and businesses are watched, and Gus has his guard up regarding anything with Jesse or Walt. So Walt crafted the craftiest plan of his life to get Salamanca on his side and kill Gustavo Fring.
Salamanca asks to see the DEA (Dea’s not a word, honey), and Hank has to go down to the office to see Salamanca. Salamanca spells insults out at Hank, and it’s apparent that he’s not giving the DEA anything. Ratting Gus out to the DEA was not Walt’s plan though. Walt just wanted Gus’ man, Tyrus, to see Salamanca there. Walt hides outside the old folks home. That old lady had a crush on him! But Walt had no time to get some. Gus came into Salamanca’s room with a lethal injection. Salamanca gives him the best dirty look we have ever seen in our lives and Walt’s bomb goes off. The room explodes. Gus walks out looking worse than Two Face, and then he collapses.
Some might criticize that shot as unrealistic, cartoon-ish, or silly. We thought it was fantastic. When you do a slow build to extreme violence, the violence really has to deliver. At that point, waiting tensely for Gus’ downfall for weeks, we wanted him dead and we wanted him REAL dead. We cackled mercilessly at that shot. It gave us the catharsis we wanted. At that point, we were hyperventilating with excitement, because we saw that there were about seven minutes left in the finale. How was the finale going to top Gus’ death and leave us breathless in the last couple of minutes?
Brock’s doctors figured out that Brock was poisoned by a flower called Lily of the Valley, not ricin. Jesse is released and taken by Gus’ men to the lab. Walt comes in, gun blazing, and he saves Jesse. Jesse and Walt go burn down their lab, which was awesome. At this point, Walt has bombed a nursing home, killed multiple men, and now risked the lives of a bunch of immigrant workers. Jesse tells Walt that it looks like Brock is going to make it. Walt looks relieved and emotional. The two shake hands and part, agreeing that even if Brock just accidently ate some flowers, Gus still needed to die.
Skyler watches the news and calls Walt about the explosion and fire. She asks Walt if he killed those men. “What happened?” she asked. “I won,” Walt answered. Behold, the one who knocks. So, we were all sulky because the episode didn’t end with Hank realizing that Walt is Heisenberg. We thought that was going to happen this season. But we think it’s fitting that this showdown occur during the final season, especially since we think the show gave us something better.
The last scene was a shot of Walt’s pool area, and there sat a potted plant labeled “Lily of the Valley.” WALT!!!!! We’re pretty sure that Walt didn’t mean to kill Brock in order to secure Jesse’s allegiance, because he’s an expert chemist and would know how much to give the child to kill him versus threaten him. And he seemed really relieved and emotional that Brock was ok. But we are still appalled. That’s nothing to what Jesse is going to be. Walt hurt a child to take Gus down. That’s a line crossed. We thought Walt was getting a little better, but no. This ushers in the reign of evil Walt.
Now that we’ve seen the end of the season, a few things have become clear. First of all, the spinning gun next to the pool. Twice it stopped at Walt and the last time it spun to the flower pot. This shows us how long Walt has been planning this. We wrote the gun spinning off as a show of nervousness, but now we have been corrected. Repeat after us: Everything Breaking Bad does is intentional. Also, was that a school schedule that the legal secretary was shredding? Did Saul and Walt poison Brock while he was at school?
For anyone who questions whether Walt actually poisoned Brock, read this Vince Gilligan quote about his brilliant ways: But there’s the old Billy Wilder quote, which I am going to misquote, that if you give the audience 2 plus 2 and let them add it up to 4 themselves, they’ll love you forever. I abide by that. The audience is plenty smart, and I like giving them as little as possible, and letting them do the math themselves.
There is also a question as to whether Tyrus died in the bombed room, because the reporter said, “Three men may have died.”Tyrus could be in critical condition. We can just see him joining forces with Mike to get revenge. What about Mike? We are really glad he made it through the season and look forward to his character being used later. We think it’s probable that Hank or someone will find Jesse and Walt on Gus’ security tapes. And we know that there will come a day when Jesse finds out about both Jane and Brock. This whole thing could kill with Jesse blowing Walt away. And Walt will deserve it. Team Jesse!
Episode grade: A+
Season grade: B+
Does anyone remember Dragon Ball Z? Ern’s little brother used to watch it with her, and we would just sit and complain about how nothing ever happened. It was an action soap opera. It was like there was only one fight per season, and everything was building toward the hero’s defeat of that one enemy per season. The people would stand with their arms raised and just grunt and scream at each other, while the side characters danced around, uselessly. And yet, we watched the show every day, because we cared, and we wouldn’t have missed a second of those battles. This season of Breaking Bad reminds us of that. It took Walter White forever to gather that spirit bomb. And like it Dragon Ball Z, it was terrifically violent and totally worth it in the end.
Jesse is held and questioned about Brock’s poisoning. He calls Saul, and Saul shows. Jesse tells Saul to tell Walt that his opportunity to kill Gus might come in Tio Salamanca. Gus’ house and businesses are watched, and Gus has his guard up regarding anything with Jesse or Walt. So Walt crafted the craftiest plan of his life to get Salamanca on his side and kill Gustavo Fring.
Salamanca asks to see the DEA (Dea’s not a word, honey), and Hank has to go down to the office to see Salamanca. Salamanca spells insults out at Hank, and it’s apparent that he’s not giving the DEA anything. Ratting Gus out to the DEA was not Walt’s plan though. Walt just wanted Gus’ man, Tyrus, to see Salamanca there. Walt hides outside the old folks home. That old lady had a crush on him! But Walt had no time to get some. Gus came into Salamanca’s room with a lethal injection. Salamanca gives him the best dirty look we have ever seen in our lives and Walt’s bomb goes off. The room explodes. Gus walks out looking worse than Two Face, and then he collapses.
Some might criticize that shot as unrealistic, cartoon-ish, or silly. We thought it was fantastic. When you do a slow build to extreme violence, the violence really has to deliver. At that point, waiting tensely for Gus’ downfall for weeks, we wanted him dead and we wanted him REAL dead. We cackled mercilessly at that shot. It gave us the catharsis we wanted. At that point, we were hyperventilating with excitement, because we saw that there were about seven minutes left in the finale. How was the finale going to top Gus’ death and leave us breathless in the last couple of minutes?
Brock’s doctors figured out that Brock was poisoned by a flower called Lily of the Valley, not ricin. Jesse is released and taken by Gus’ men to the lab. Walt comes in, gun blazing, and he saves Jesse. Jesse and Walt go burn down their lab, which was awesome. At this point, Walt has bombed a nursing home, killed multiple men, and now risked the lives of a bunch of immigrant workers. Jesse tells Walt that it looks like Brock is going to make it. Walt looks relieved and emotional. The two shake hands and part, agreeing that even if Brock just accidently ate some flowers, Gus still needed to die.
Skyler watches the news and calls Walt about the explosion and fire. She asks Walt if he killed those men. “What happened?” she asked. “I won,” Walt answered. Behold, the one who knocks. So, we were all sulky because the episode didn’t end with Hank realizing that Walt is Heisenberg. We thought that was going to happen this season. But we think it’s fitting that this showdown occur during the final season, especially since we think the show gave us something better.
The last scene was a shot of Walt’s pool area, and there sat a potted plant labeled “Lily of the Valley.” WALT!!!!! We’re pretty sure that Walt didn’t mean to kill Brock in order to secure Jesse’s allegiance, because he’s an expert chemist and would know how much to give the child to kill him versus threaten him. And he seemed really relieved and emotional that Brock was ok. But we are still appalled. That’s nothing to what Jesse is going to be. Walt hurt a child to take Gus down. That’s a line crossed. We thought Walt was getting a little better, but no. This ushers in the reign of evil Walt.
Now that we’ve seen the end of the season, a few things have become clear. First of all, the spinning gun next to the pool. Twice it stopped at Walt and the last time it spun to the flower pot. This shows us how long Walt has been planning this. We wrote the gun spinning off as a show of nervousness, but now we have been corrected. Repeat after us: Everything Breaking Bad does is intentional. Also, was that a school schedule that the legal secretary was shredding? Did Saul and Walt poison Brock while he was at school?
For anyone who questions whether Walt actually poisoned Brock, read this Vince Gilligan quote about his brilliant ways: But there’s the old Billy Wilder quote, which I am going to misquote, that if you give the audience 2 plus 2 and let them add it up to 4 themselves, they’ll love you forever. I abide by that. The audience is plenty smart, and I like giving them as little as possible, and letting them do the math themselves.
There is also a question as to whether Tyrus died in the bombed room, because the reporter said, “Three men may have died.”Tyrus could be in critical condition. We can just see him joining forces with Mike to get revenge. What about Mike? We are really glad he made it through the season and look forward to his character being used later. We think it’s probable that Hank or someone will find Jesse and Walt on Gus’ security tapes. And we know that there will come a day when Jesse finds out about both Jane and Brock. This whole thing could kill with Jesse blowing Walt away. And Walt will deserve it. Team Jesse!
Episode grade: A+
Season grade: B+
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Thanks for telling us Nikita got better, readers.
Person of Interest - “Mission Creep”
This show is definitely a procedural, but it’s a decent one, so we watch it, even though there are pouts on our faces about the 24-like serial that might have been. In this episode, the machine coughed up the number of a former Marine named Joey. When he returned from the Middle East, he joined a crew of former soldiers who have become thieves for hire, because he wanted to get money for his dead solider buddy’s little girl. Reese saves Joey, duh. The man behind it all is named “Elias M.” and a man named Latimer works for him. We have a feeling that these two are going to crop up again. We also see that Reese used to have a girlfriend, and they clearly still have feelings for each other. We want to see the machine flashback now.
This show is definitely a procedural, but it’s a decent one, so we watch it, even though there are pouts on our faces about the 24-like serial that might have been. In this episode, the machine coughed up the number of a former Marine named Joey. When he returned from the Middle East, he joined a crew of former soldiers who have become thieves for hire, because he wanted to get money for his dead solider buddy’s little girl. Reese saves Joey, duh. The man behind it all is named “Elias M.” and a man named Latimer works for him. We have a feeling that these two are going to crop up again. We also see that Reese used to have a girlfriend, and they clearly still have feelings for each other. We want to see the machine flashback now.
Episode grade: B+
Nikita - “Knightfall”
We’re finally caught up on this show. It got better around episode five. The first episode was all about sex appeal and stick-thin women inexplicably kicking the asses of large guys, and that turned us off. We’re not really the audience for that. But we marathoned the show once the whole season was out, and had developed enough of a story and fun pacing that it hooked us. There have been some changes since the first season. Notably, Alex is now with Division as a mercenary and Amanda is running the whole thing.
Nikita - “Knightfall”
We’re finally caught up on this show. It got better around episode five. The first episode was all about sex appeal and stick-thin women inexplicably kicking the asses of large guys, and that turned us off. We’re not really the audience for that. But we marathoned the show once the whole season was out, and had developed enough of a story and fun pacing that it hooked us. There have been some changes since the first season. Notably, Alex is now with Division as a mercenary and Amanda is running the whole thing.
We enjoy the game change, but we look forward to Percy getting out of his Magneto prison. During this episode, Nikita foiled a Division op yet again! Even though one of us hates Shane West, we like Michael and Nikita together. The end opened up new possibilities for Alex’s character. That’s good. It’s nice to keep things moving while having week-to-week missions. We'd really like to see some follow-up with the Nathan character. Last we saw him, he had found out about Alex's secret and shot Alex's rival, killing her. What happened to that guy? Doesn't Alex still want to make babies with him?
Episode grade: B
A Gifted Man - “In Case of Discomfort”
The formula for this show seems to be “one rich patient, one poor patient.” The rich patient had some sort of bug in her brain from eating pork (aaaand we’ve just picked up the pork-eating habits of Jews and Muslims) and the poor patient had heart problems. Rachel Lefevre showed up to run the clinic. We don’t know why we are enjoying this show, because it has a lot of the factors we usually hate. Case-by-case, not too attached to the characters (what happened to Michael’s sister and nephew?), and nothing too unique. And yet, we continue to enjoy.
A Gifted Man - “In Case of Discomfort”
The formula for this show seems to be “one rich patient, one poor patient.” The rich patient had some sort of bug in her brain from eating pork (aaaand we’ve just picked up the pork-eating habits of Jews and Muslims) and the poor patient had heart problems. Rachel Lefevre showed up to run the clinic. We don’t know why we are enjoying this show, because it has a lot of the factors we usually hate. Case-by-case, not too attached to the characters (what happened to Michael’s sister and nephew?), and nothing too unique. And yet, we continue to enjoy.
Episode grade: B
Comment on the poll
The next couple of polls will determine which shows definitely get long reviews, rather than just mentions/paragraphs.
New show: GCB
GCB
ABC. Midseason
Starring: Kristin Chenoweth (Glee, Wicked, Pushing Daisies)
Plot: Stands for Good Christian Bitches (or Belles). A mom moves back to her old town that’s full of mean girls. She was one herself, but then she got out of her bubble.
Why We Are Excited: There was a time when we wouldn’t have liked the idea of this show, because Christianity and Catholicism are such common, trendy whipping boys on TV/in movies these days. But now we know, there are some bitchy Christians in the world. They need to be mocked. Kristin is a Christian herself. It’s ok to have a sense of humor about hypocrisy and snobs. It seems like the perfect role for Kristin too. Plenty of women have been burned in a holiness/perfection competition with other women, Christian or not, so we feel like people will be able to relate.
Why We Are Not Excited: This could turn into a one-joke show. Comedies have disappointed us recently.
Preview:
Anticipation Score: 6.5/10
Be sure to click on the "##Upcoming Shows## link in the cloud so you can stay apprised. And let us know if you think you will be watching any of them!
ABC. Midseason
Starring: Kristin Chenoweth (Glee, Wicked, Pushing Daisies)
Plot: Stands for Good Christian Bitches (or Belles). A mom moves back to her old town that’s full of mean girls. She was one herself, but then she got out of her bubble.
Why We Are Excited: There was a time when we wouldn’t have liked the idea of this show, because Christianity and Catholicism are such common, trendy whipping boys on TV/in movies these days. But now we know, there are some bitchy Christians in the world. They need to be mocked. Kristin is a Christian herself. It’s ok to have a sense of humor about hypocrisy and snobs. It seems like the perfect role for Kristin too. Plenty of women have been burned in a holiness/perfection competition with other women, Christian or not, so we feel like people will be able to relate.
Why We Are Not Excited: This could turn into a one-joke show. Comedies have disappointed us recently.
Preview:
Anticipation Score: 6.5/10
Be sure to click on the "##Upcoming Shows## link in the cloud so you can stay apprised. And let us know if you think you will be watching any of them!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
How to Be a Gentleman has been cancelled.
Rhys and Mary Lynn are freeeeee!!!
Leeard tells world: I told you so (that this show would be crap).
Everybody Misses Peter
Sons of Anarchy - “Brick”
This one was a little snoozy for us. Maybe it was that there was too much Lyla? Or any Lyla?
This one was a little snoozy for us. Maybe it was that there was too much Lyla? Or any Lyla?
Episode grade: C+
Revenge - “Betrayal”
One of us is actually growing bored with this show. It’s too “procedural of the week,” and there is no emotional connection. The other blogger is still fully on board and is obsessed with both Victoria and Amandily. We both think that Daniel is an alright guy, and it’s a shame we know he dies so that we can’t get attached to the character. The actor who plays Declan doesn’t work for one of us, because he comes across as a little boy, not a complicated teen crush.
Revenge - “Betrayal”
One of us is actually growing bored with this show. It’s too “procedural of the week,” and there is no emotional connection. The other blogger is still fully on board and is obsessed with both Victoria and Amandily. We both think that Daniel is an alright guy, and it’s a shame we know he dies so that we can’t get attached to the character. The actor who plays Declan doesn’t work for one of us, because he comes across as a little boy, not a complicated teen crush.
Episode Grade: B-
Parenthood - “Clear Skies from Here on Out”
Poor Crosby. We rarely say that, but there was no winning in that scenario. We also feel bad for Haddie who got dumped by her guy because he doesn’t feel good enough for her and is ashamed to be around her family. We hope they don’t end like that.
Parenthood - “Clear Skies from Here on Out”
Poor Crosby. We rarely say that, but there was no winning in that scenario. We also feel bad for Haddie who got dumped by her guy because he doesn’t feel good enough for her and is ashamed to be around her family. We hope they don’t end like that.
Episode grade: B+
Prime Suspect - “Bitch”
We liked the pilot of this show, and it keeps improving on the pilot greatly. The last two cases have been interesting and satisfying. Of course, it’s easy to root for a main character when she’s up against child nappers and woman beaters. But we just think that’s a smart move to get Jane Timoney a following before she gets axed without cause.
Prime Suspect - “Bitch”
We liked the pilot of this show, and it keeps improving on the pilot greatly. The last two cases have been interesting and satisfying. Of course, it’s easy to root for a main character when she’s up against child nappers and woman beaters. But we just think that’s a smart move to get Jane Timoney a following before she gets axed without cause.
Episode grade: B+
Fringe - “Alone in the World”
Yes, Walter and Olivia totally should start trying to find Peter. This episode had a lot of emotion, which is sometimes missing from this show. The little boy was adorable, as was Walter trying so hard to save him. Furthermore, the case was creepy and Walter’s little breakdown was also unsettling. We like when this show disturbs us.
Fringe - “Alone in the World”
Yes, Walter and Olivia totally should start trying to find Peter. This episode had a lot of emotion, which is sometimes missing from this show. The little boy was adorable, as was Walter trying so hard to save him. Furthermore, the case was creepy and Walter’s little breakdown was also unsettling. We like when this show disturbs us.
Episode grade: A-
X-Factor Top 32
This show is too long. We don’t have this kind of time. Just show us the singers and judging. The promo fluff is ridiculous. Anyone already watching is ALREADY WATCHING. The judges walking in slow motion, drama, and other stuff is just a waste of our valuable time. In a montage of the good singers, it seems like we have a lot of people who don’t suck. And, aww, the little rapper hugged Simon.
Here’s a rundown of who is left after boot camp. The links are to youtube videos of performances (either from boot camp or the main auditions). Our main complaint is that most of the girls’ voices are similar. Lots of thin-toned, second soprano belters with some jazzy riffs. Idol is better with the variety. Simon likes what he likes though.
Here’s a rundown of who is left after boot camp. The links are to youtube videos of performances (either from boot camp or the main auditions). Our main complaint is that most of the girls’ voices are similar. Lots of thin-toned, second soprano belters with some jazzy riffs. Idol is better with the variety. Simon likes what he likes though.
If you don't want to watch all of the auditions and just want to jump into the top people's journeys, we've got vids for all of them.
Girls:
Caitlin Koch- Our favorite. What is she always doing with her legs though? Looks like a chicken dance that would fit in on Arrested Development.
Tora Woloshin- She has a decent voice, but we don’t really get her. Yet. Singing starts at 2:07.
Simone Battle- This girl made it through because she dressed slutty and looked good. Her voice is good, but we think her appearance and generic performance made Simon fight for her. Actual singing starts at 3:14, but if you haven't seen her, you should probably watch the whole thing.
Drew Ryniewicz- Runner-up pick. Great tone and only 14.
Rachel Crow- This girl’s voice is just as big as her personality. Definitely a cutie, and only 13. This is her boot camp performance of “If I Were a Boy.” We love her confidence.
Jazzlyn Little- An obvious pick for the top 32.
Melanie Amaro- She nailed every note in the Beyonce song.
Tiah Tolliver- Those lips are majestic. Nicole hates her though, haha.
Boys:
Brennin Hunt- This guy is like Edward Cullen trying to be Lestat, only it’s the light pop version. Simon just wants to hear the voice. So do we. He sounds like any other guy right now. We might end up liking him though, because he’s not horrible looking.
Brian Bradley- Stop looking at his mom. The kid has rhyming talent and the worst attitude of all time. Sounds like a rapper.
Skyelor Anderson- We’re not really digging his voice, because he has no power, and he has a shallow, nasally tone. But he’s a nice kid who has been cursed with a terrible name and is just trying to make the best of it. Go to 1:46 for the song.
Nick Voss- One of the most unoriginal things we’ve ever seen, but he’s an underdog, and those do well on these shows.
Tim Cifers- Meh
Phillip Lomax- Also not original or as good as the people he is trying to copy. Also, there’s no way a girl could sing this kind of retro music and make it on a show like this.
Marcus Canty- This might be Ern’s favorite of the guys.
Chris Rene- Leeard’s early favorite guy. His first audition was better, so youtube that if you haven’t seen it. But here’s a shorter performance video, in case you just need to see his face as a reminder.
Over 30s:
(First of all, 30 is YOUNG, and this category should be raised to 35.)
Girls:
Caitlin Koch- Our favorite. What is she always doing with her legs though? Looks like a chicken dance that would fit in on Arrested Development.
Tora Woloshin- She has a decent voice, but we don’t really get her. Yet. Singing starts at 2:07.
Simone Battle- This girl made it through because she dressed slutty and looked good. Her voice is good, but we think her appearance and generic performance made Simon fight for her. Actual singing starts at 3:14, but if you haven't seen her, you should probably watch the whole thing.
Drew Ryniewicz- Runner-up pick. Great tone and only 14.
Rachel Crow- This girl’s voice is just as big as her personality. Definitely a cutie, and only 13. This is her boot camp performance of “If I Were a Boy.” We love her confidence.
Jazzlyn Little- An obvious pick for the top 32.
Melanie Amaro- She nailed every note in the Beyonce song.
Tiah Tolliver- Those lips are majestic. Nicole hates her though, haha.
Boys:
Brennin Hunt- This guy is like Edward Cullen trying to be Lestat, only it’s the light pop version. Simon just wants to hear the voice. So do we. He sounds like any other guy right now. We might end up liking him though, because he’s not horrible looking.
Brian Bradley- Stop looking at his mom. The kid has rhyming talent and the worst attitude of all time. Sounds like a rapper.
Skyelor Anderson- We’re not really digging his voice, because he has no power, and he has a shallow, nasally tone. But he’s a nice kid who has been cursed with a terrible name and is just trying to make the best of it. Go to 1:46 for the song.
Nick Voss- One of the most unoriginal things we’ve ever seen, but he’s an underdog, and those do well on these shows.
Tim Cifers- Meh
Phillip Lomax- Also not original or as good as the people he is trying to copy. Also, there’s no way a girl could sing this kind of retro music and make it on a show like this.
Marcus Canty- This might be Ern’s favorite of the guys.
Chris Rene- Leeard’s early favorite guy. His first audition was better, so youtube that if you haven’t seen it. But here’s a shorter performance video, in case you just need to see his face as a reminder.
Over 30s:
(First of all, 30 is YOUNG, and this category should be raised to 35.)
Elaine Gibbs- The grandmother wedding singer. Has a gospel-sounding voice.
Tiger Budbill- It was cute to see him and his wife crying at the end of his first audition, but he doesn’t have the strongest pipes or presentation.
LeRoy Bell- Meh.
James Kenney- start at 2:19. We also give him a “meh.”
Josh Krajcik- He’s growing on us.
Christa Collins- Go to 3:55. She has potential.
Dexter Haygood- HOW ON EARTH DID HE MAKE IT? He's got a good story, that's it.
Stacy Francis- Probably the best here, especially when she gets some voice lessons from the show.
Groups:
Stereo Hogzz- They seem like cool guys who love each other and work hard.
2Squar'd- Nahhhh. Maybe if someone else dresses them.
4 Shore- The bar for groups must be really low.
The Brewer Boys- Pretty cute, good voices.
Illusion / Confusion- They haven’t aired these guys yet, but they are pretty good. They definitely need some polishing though.
The Anser- These guys are pretty good.
Plus two groups comprised of contestants who'd previously competed as soloists
Tiger Budbill- It was cute to see him and his wife crying at the end of his first audition, but he doesn’t have the strongest pipes or presentation.
LeRoy Bell- Meh.
James Kenney- start at 2:19. We also give him a “meh.”
Josh Krajcik- He’s growing on us.
Christa Collins- Go to 3:55. She has potential.
Dexter Haygood- HOW ON EARTH DID HE MAKE IT? He's got a good story, that's it.
Stacy Francis- Probably the best here, especially when she gets some voice lessons from the show.
Groups:
Stereo Hogzz- They seem like cool guys who love each other and work hard.
2Squar'd- Nahhhh. Maybe if someone else dresses them.
4 Shore- The bar for groups must be really low.
The Brewer Boys- Pretty cute, good voices.
Illusion / Confusion- They haven’t aired these guys yet, but they are pretty good. They definitely need some polishing though.
The Anser- These guys are pretty good.
Plus two groups comprised of contestants who'd previously competed as soloists
There's no one here that we are absolutely, 100% in love with, but it took a while for us to realize Haley was our girl on Idol last time, so maybe someone will emerge, grow stronger in the competition, and win us over.
Could this episode look any better right about now?
Finally, a Glee character we have the potential to like for the foreseeable future! The synopsis we read for next week's episode was "Irish foreign exchange student Rory Flanagan (Damian McGinty) arrives at McKinley High and is hosted by Brittany's family."
We get to meet Brittany's family? We already knew Damian was guest starring, but Brittany + Damian equals too much cuteness. We. Can't. Wait. Also, there are rumors that Mercedes and Santana will cover Christina Aguilera's "Candyman." Inexplicably, the New Directions will sing "Last Friday Night." We really hope that's not true.... That song doesn't even rhyme.
Why Witches Should Sleep With Earplugs
The Secret Circle - "Heather"
Well, that was just hilarious. The demons on this show are just like the wormy little aliens in the movies where people become alien zombies. Nick and Melissa have grown stronger by the end of the episode, and Nick is trying to be a good guy. Faye is the douchebag cure. We need to steal and bottle her. Faye is definitely jealous and wants Nick though. Or Melissa.
Cassie needed to find out what happened to Heather Barnes, so she searched her on the internet. What, no Bing reference, CW? She went to Heather’s brother, who lives in the creepiest house in the creepiest area, ever. Actually, it was kind of cool and we would totally live there as eccentrics. Adam agrees to go with her, so she won’t be scared. They find that Heather has been in a catatonic state for 16 years. Heather wakes up enough to grab Cassie’s arm, but that’s it. Offff course she grabs Cassie’s arm. That’s scary movie 101.
Cassie sees something marked on Heather’s wrist, and when she gets home, she shows Adam her family witch book. The symbol on Heather’s wrist is in there, so Cassie decides that her mother must have made Heather catatonic. Cassie determines to use magic to heal Heather, but Diana refuses to let Adam help her, because they don’t know enough yet to start using magic to fix the problem. We as viewers know she’s right, because she’s the Hermione/Dumbledore of the operation. Cassie does not know this yet.
Cassie gets Faye to help. They sneak into Heather’s place, do a spell, and leave, thinking it didn’t work. Later that night, Heather wakes up, knocks her brother out by throwing him against a wall, and goes in search of Cassie’s mom. Meanwhile, Diana finds out from her book that what Cassie’s mom did to Heather was to seal a demon inside of her, so that Heather could not wreak demonic havoc on the town and herself. Diana and Adam call Cassie, but Heather is already at her house. Faye is upstairs, reading Cassie’s family's Book of Shadows.
Cassie goes downstairs and finds Heather. Heather tells her what’s up, and then she starts going Full Demon (that’s kind of like Full Retard, only scary). Heather throws Cassie against the wall and then goes after Faye with a poker. Nick and Melissa see Faye having trouble through his window and go join the fight. The whole chase scene was pretty fun to watch. Sometimes it was creepy, and sometimes we were laughing, thinking, “Demons come where witches go? Ha, the fundies were right about what happens when kiddies get into magic, then?”
Heather runs into the street and a car slams into her. What a good reckless driver! Heather is dead, but the demon worm in her head crawls into Nick’s bag. We thought there was no way it would crawl into Nick’s ear when Melissa is sleeping right next to him. That’s what you get for being a witch AND slutting around, Melissa. Sure enough, we were right. Adam shows up at Cassie’s house, late at night, to make sure she is ok and help her clean up. This is just asking for trouble, but Adam is in high school and honestly might not know any better.
We’re not sure we like the demon direction in which this show is going, but we guess the show needed supernatural baddies who didn’t rely on a stone that will be depleted one day. We did like the episode, and the woman playing Heather was pretty fantastic, as was the makeup department that made her look shiny and wrong.
Episode grade: B+
Well, that was just hilarious. The demons on this show are just like the wormy little aliens in the movies where people become alien zombies. Nick and Melissa have grown stronger by the end of the episode, and Nick is trying to be a good guy. Faye is the douchebag cure. We need to steal and bottle her. Faye is definitely jealous and wants Nick though. Or Melissa.
Cassie needed to find out what happened to Heather Barnes, so she searched her on the internet. What, no Bing reference, CW? She went to Heather’s brother, who lives in the creepiest house in the creepiest area, ever. Actually, it was kind of cool and we would totally live there as eccentrics. Adam agrees to go with her, so she won’t be scared. They find that Heather has been in a catatonic state for 16 years. Heather wakes up enough to grab Cassie’s arm, but that’s it. Offff course she grabs Cassie’s arm. That’s scary movie 101.
Cassie sees something marked on Heather’s wrist, and when she gets home, she shows Adam her family witch book. The symbol on Heather’s wrist is in there, so Cassie decides that her mother must have made Heather catatonic. Cassie determines to use magic to heal Heather, but Diana refuses to let Adam help her, because they don’t know enough yet to start using magic to fix the problem. We as viewers know she’s right, because she’s the Hermione/Dumbledore of the operation. Cassie does not know this yet.
Cassie gets Faye to help. They sneak into Heather’s place, do a spell, and leave, thinking it didn’t work. Later that night, Heather wakes up, knocks her brother out by throwing him against a wall, and goes in search of Cassie’s mom. Meanwhile, Diana finds out from her book that what Cassie’s mom did to Heather was to seal a demon inside of her, so that Heather could not wreak demonic havoc on the town and herself. Diana and Adam call Cassie, but Heather is already at her house. Faye is upstairs, reading Cassie’s family's Book of Shadows.
Cassie goes downstairs and finds Heather. Heather tells her what’s up, and then she starts going Full Demon (that’s kind of like Full Retard, only scary). Heather throws Cassie against the wall and then goes after Faye with a poker. Nick and Melissa see Faye having trouble through his window and go join the fight. The whole chase scene was pretty fun to watch. Sometimes it was creepy, and sometimes we were laughing, thinking, “Demons come where witches go? Ha, the fundies were right about what happens when kiddies get into magic, then?”
Heather runs into the street and a car slams into her. What a good reckless driver! Heather is dead, but the demon worm in her head crawls into Nick’s bag. We thought there was no way it would crawl into Nick’s ear when Melissa is sleeping right next to him. That’s what you get for being a witch AND slutting around, Melissa. Sure enough, we were right. Adam shows up at Cassie’s house, late at night, to make sure she is ok and help her clean up. This is just asking for trouble, but Adam is in high school and honestly might not know any better.
We’re not sure we like the demon direction in which this show is going, but we guess the show needed supernatural baddies who didn’t rely on a stone that will be depleted one day. We did like the episode, and the woman playing Heather was pretty fantastic, as was the makeup department that made her look shiny and wrong.
Episode grade: B+
Friday, October 7, 2011
If you could have dinner with any famous person, dead or alive, who would it be? Scarlett Johansson. Dead. - One reason we love Suburgatory
America’s Next Top Model - "Anthony Zuiker"
Just give the crown to Allison, already. We agreed with who was kicked off over Lisa, because Lisa is more entertaining, and the point of a TV show is to entertain us. Perfect IS boring. We liked the photo shoot and the acting challenge, which proved that models can’t read. We still don’t like or want to watch CSI.
Just give the crown to Allison, already. We agreed with who was kicked off over Lisa, because Lisa is more entertaining, and the point of a TV show is to entertain us. Perfect IS boring. We liked the photo shoot and the acting challenge, which proved that models can’t read. We still don’t like or want to watch CSI.
Episode grade: B
Happy Endings - "Baby Steps"
This episode focused on teenaged brats, plus Max having trouble paying his rent. We love that the solution to that was selling his Beanie Baby collection. Remember when all the adults told kids to keep those secret, keep those safe, because they would be valuable one day? Max was the only kid who did. The episode mocked how teenagers wear tiny, literal baby tees to show off their assets. Penny jumping on the bandwagon was awesome. Jane’s crazy continues to be funny, not annoying, even though the neurotic, perfectionist female character has been done to death.
Happy Endings - "Baby Steps"
This episode focused on teenaged brats, plus Max having trouble paying his rent. We love that the solution to that was selling his Beanie Baby collection. Remember when all the adults told kids to keep those secret, keep those safe, because they would be valuable one day? Max was the only kid who did. The episode mocked how teenagers wear tiny, literal baby tees to show off their assets. Penny jumping on the bandwagon was awesome. Jane’s crazy continues to be funny, not annoying, even though the neurotic, perfectionist female character has been done to death.
Episode grade: B+
Up All Night - "New Car"
Chris and Reagan realize that they need a more practical car for their child, so they get drunk and shop for one on the internet. You can guess how well that turned out. This was a sweet episode, if not laugh-out-loud funny. It was a little more grounded and the Ava character was more realistic than last week. We approve of this direction. This show definitely tops Will Arnett and Christina Applegate’s last shows for us.
Up All Night - "New Car"
Chris and Reagan realize that they need a more practical car for their child, so they get drunk and shop for one on the internet. You can guess how well that turned out. This was a sweet episode, if not laugh-out-loud funny. It was a little more grounded and the Ava character was more realistic than last week. We approve of this direction. This show definitely tops Will Arnett and Christina Applegate’s last shows for us.
Episode grade: B-
Suburgatory - "The Barbecue"
Tessa finds herself attracted to the jock next door, because he’s good looking, but she realizes that this is a bad thing, because he is dumb as a rock and has the personality of a piece of bread. This episode had a few laughs, and we’ve realized that this show is the Homeland of comedies (meaning that it’s a sleeper). No one expected it to be good, and it is.
Suburgatory - "The Barbecue"
Tessa finds herself attracted to the jock next door, because he’s good looking, but she realizes that this is a bad thing, because he is dumb as a rock and has the personality of a piece of bread. This episode had a few laughs, and we’ve realized that this show is the Homeland of comedies (meaning that it’s a sleeper). No one expected it to be good, and it is.
Episode grade: B+
Modern Family - "Door-to-Door"
Will this show ever let Claire be fun? The only plot we liked this week was the one where Jay and Manny had to sell wrapping paper together, especially how Manny capitalized on Jay’s ego. We did enjoy Phil and Luke’s videos. That needs to happen more often. While this show is stuck in repetition mode, it needs to repeat some things that we actually find funny. You know who is adorable? Stella. We want that dog. You know who is not adorable? Lily. We know we are total peens for saying this, but that kid’s face is busted and she just doesn’t have the “cute factor” in her line delivery. That’s not a natural comedic actress right there. They should have stuck with the old kids and just had Lily talk whenever one of those kids started talking. Now that we have bashed the acting skills of a pre-schooler, we’re just going to wrap this up.
Modern Family - "Door-to-Door"
Will this show ever let Claire be fun? The only plot we liked this week was the one where Jay and Manny had to sell wrapping paper together, especially how Manny capitalized on Jay’s ego. We did enjoy Phil and Luke’s videos. That needs to happen more often. While this show is stuck in repetition mode, it needs to repeat some things that we actually find funny. You know who is adorable? Stella. We want that dog. You know who is not adorable? Lily. We know we are total peens for saying this, but that kid’s face is busted and she just doesn’t have the “cute factor” in her line delivery. That’s not a natural comedic actress right there. They should have stuck with the old kids and just had Lily talk whenever one of those kids started talking. Now that we have bashed the acting skills of a pre-schooler, we’re just going to wrap this up.
Episode grade: B
New Girl - "Wedding"
Jess lost a lot of her inconsistency this episode! It was also a good plot. Nick took Jess as his date to a friend’s wedding, because he was worried about running into his ex. Gretchen and Schmidt were hilarious. The weakest plot was the one with Winston trying to be a great usher. We like the actor, so the show should give him something funny to do. We really, really loved Jess’ British accent (the “slut butler,” haha), and we like the developments between Jess and Nick. We want Jess’ hair so badly. Also, the slow-motion chicken dance? Amazing.
New Girl - "Wedding"
Jess lost a lot of her inconsistency this episode! It was also a good plot. Nick took Jess as his date to a friend’s wedding, because he was worried about running into his ex. Gretchen and Schmidt were hilarious. The weakest plot was the one with Winston trying to be a great usher. We like the actor, so the show should give him something funny to do. We really, really loved Jess’ British accent (the “slut butler,” haha), and we like the developments between Jess and Nick. We want Jess’ hair so badly. Also, the slow-motion chicken dance? Amazing.
Episode grade: A-
Community - "Competitive Ecology"
The Chang stuff was not funny. The group fighting is getting old. We like when the group is united against something else every once in a while. We enjoyed Todd and his reactions. Hopefully he gets his revenge or something. Overall though, while this episode wasn’t terrible, it is not an example of why we love this show.
Community - "Competitive Ecology"
The Chang stuff was not funny. The group fighting is getting old. We like when the group is united against something else every once in a while. We enjoyed Todd and his reactions. Hopefully he gets his revenge or something. Overall though, while this episode wasn’t terrible, it is not an example of why we love this show.
Episode grade: C+ But please, don’t let that deter you from watching this show. We never miss it every week, and its numbers aren’t great. So, please watch it.
Parks and Recreation - "Born and Raised"
We loved the riffing on the Obama birth certificate controversy. Pawnee has turned into a bunch of birthers, and poor Leslie is from Eagleton! We love how every single character on this show is both funny and necessary. This episode was sweet and there were multiple chuckles to be found. Leslie and Ben’s sad gaze at each other near the end was just whipped cream on the waffles. This season is great so far. If it had been this good in its first season, this show would probably have The Office's ratings.
Parks and Recreation - "Born and Raised"
We loved the riffing on the Obama birth certificate controversy. Pawnee has turned into a bunch of birthers, and poor Leslie is from Eagleton! We love how every single character on this show is both funny and necessary. This episode was sweet and there were multiple chuckles to be found. Leslie and Ben’s sad gaze at each other near the end was just whipped cream on the waffles. This season is great so far. If it had been this good in its first season, this show would probably have The Office's ratings.
Episode grade: A
South Park - "Ass Burgers"
South Park is really hit or miss lately. Wait, who are we kidding? That show has ALWAYS been hit or miss. For every episode that we remember and quote forever, there is an episode that makes us just ask why, God, why. (A Million Little Fibers) This one was actually pretty good though. We loved the implication that adults drink to make the world fun again. It’s about time Cartman (mis)heard about Asperger’s Syndrome. And, of course, South Park jumped on some sort of current event. This time they were mocking the vaccination controversy. We enjoyed their send-up of Adam Sandler and Terra Nova (It’s LOST and Jurassic Park in the same TV show!), the Duck President is still hilarious, and we liked the way the episode ended on a hopeful note for South Park. In the last episode, Matt and Trey had us wondering if they were sick of making South Park. In this episode, they assured us that they love what they do and are thinking of new possibilities for it.
South Park - "Ass Burgers"
South Park is really hit or miss lately. Wait, who are we kidding? That show has ALWAYS been hit or miss. For every episode that we remember and quote forever, there is an episode that makes us just ask why, God, why. (A Million Little Fibers) This one was actually pretty good though. We loved the implication that adults drink to make the world fun again. It’s about time Cartman (mis)heard about Asperger’s Syndrome. And, of course, South Park jumped on some sort of current event. This time they were mocking the vaccination controversy. We enjoyed their send-up of Adam Sandler and Terra Nova (It’s LOST and Jurassic Park in the same TV show!), the Duck President is still hilarious, and we liked the way the episode ended on a hopeful note for South Park. In the last episode, Matt and Trey had us wondering if they were sick of making South Park. In this episode, they assured us that they love what they do and are thinking of new possibilities for it.
Episode grade: B+
Alex, finish your paper and get back to peds, so you can be a human again
Grey's Anatomy - "What Is It About Men?"
This episode had a focus on the guys, which was ok, but we felt like it could have been funnier. There was a lot of untapped potential with this idea, but at least it brought back some of the fun and humor the show has been missing for a while.
This episode had a focus on the guys, which was ok, but we felt like it could have been funnier. There was a lot of untapped potential with this idea, but at least it brought back some of the fun and humor the show has been missing for a while.
This episode also had a HUGE lack of Meredith in it. After one surly conversation with Derek, she had the same amount of screen time as your average walk-on role. Cristina too. We get that the episode was guy-centric, but guys interact with ladies, right? We were actually a little bored by the boys and the stereotypes that came with them.
Derek spent the episode looking for a new resident to be a regular on his service. His main neuro girl and wife has quit working with him, and no one else seems to measure up. He tries for Alex, but Alex is only interested in using Derek to fill his non-peds surgery requirements. Derek realizes then that Mark isn’t using Jackson well, so he tries to steal Jackson from Mark. Mark does not take well to this, and it all turns out great for Jackson, because Mark realizes that Jackson needs to be given more to do in the plastics O.R.
Another untapped thing? Having all the nerds in the hospital and highlighting their nerdiness in a way that felt like mockery and lazy references, rather than actual funny jokes and situations. The only part of that we liked was when the nerd girl expressed disdain at April’s being unfamiliar with hobbits. After that (awesome) movie trilogy, who doesn’t know and love hobbits? Nerds are a great source for jokes (just ask The Big Bang Theory), and we didn’t chuckle once. Can we also point out that April looks nothing like Daenerys the Dothraki "princess"? She's a queen, not a princess. Yet more evidence that this episode was written by non-nerds trying to pretend they know ANYTHING about nerds.
One nerd gets beat up trying to save April from a large, dangerous, violent patient, because apparently there is no reliable security in this hospital. Owen comes along and punches him in the face. Owen refuses to apologize for this, because he’s satisfied with how that whole punching thing turned out. Way better than the choking, anyway. The guy might sue Owen, but Owen doesn’t care. His conduct with the guy was the first time we'd ever seen him be unprofessional at work, and we didn't care for it. Good punch though. He spent the episode trying to be chief and not be stuck in an office at the same time. Good product placement time for an iPad?
Dr. Ben Warren and Nurse Eli (who Bailey has moved in with) are fighting over Bailey. Derek invites all the boys over to help build his deck. Derek doesn’t really know what he’s doing, so they build it wrong/it’s not level. Hammering is guy therapy? No wonder all the guys in our schools are so angsty. They are “indoor guys”/metros and can’t build squat diddly. We thought that Mark taking care of his baby was really cute, but then he hands her to Owen to play with while he speaks with Derek. Mark, that was a really bad/depressing call. There were, like, three other guys there. This is one reason we don’t think the abortion anger is over. That and the punching.
Episode grade: B-
Derek spent the episode looking for a new resident to be a regular on his service. His main neuro girl and wife has quit working with him, and no one else seems to measure up. He tries for Alex, but Alex is only interested in using Derek to fill his non-peds surgery requirements. Derek realizes then that Mark isn’t using Jackson well, so he tries to steal Jackson from Mark. Mark does not take well to this, and it all turns out great for Jackson, because Mark realizes that Jackson needs to be given more to do in the plastics O.R.
Another untapped thing? Having all the nerds in the hospital and highlighting their nerdiness in a way that felt like mockery and lazy references, rather than actual funny jokes and situations. The only part of that we liked was when the nerd girl expressed disdain at April’s being unfamiliar with hobbits. After that (awesome) movie trilogy, who doesn’t know and love hobbits? Nerds are a great source for jokes (just ask The Big Bang Theory), and we didn’t chuckle once. Can we also point out that April looks nothing like Daenerys the Dothraki "princess"? She's a queen, not a princess. Yet more evidence that this episode was written by non-nerds trying to pretend they know ANYTHING about nerds.
One nerd gets beat up trying to save April from a large, dangerous, violent patient, because apparently there is no reliable security in this hospital. Owen comes along and punches him in the face. Owen refuses to apologize for this, because he’s satisfied with how that whole punching thing turned out. Way better than the choking, anyway. The guy might sue Owen, but Owen doesn’t care. His conduct with the guy was the first time we'd ever seen him be unprofessional at work, and we didn't care for it. Good punch though. He spent the episode trying to be chief and not be stuck in an office at the same time. Good product placement time for an iPad?
Dr. Ben Warren and Nurse Eli (who Bailey has moved in with) are fighting over Bailey. Derek invites all the boys over to help build his deck. Derek doesn’t really know what he’s doing, so they build it wrong/it’s not level. Hammering is guy therapy? No wonder all the guys in our schools are so angsty. They are “indoor guys”/metros and can’t build squat diddly. We thought that Mark taking care of his baby was really cute, but then he hands her to Owen to play with while he speaks with Derek. Mark, that was a really bad/depressing call. There were, like, three other guys there. This is one reason we don’t think the abortion anger is over. That and the punching.
Episode grade: B-
This Show Can't Make a Sleepy Episode, Can It?
The Vampire Diaries - "Disturbing Behavior"
Rebecca is not nearly as fun as Katherine, but that doesn’t mean she’s not trying. She’s shocked at the lack of modesty in this century’s clothing, but she’s going to rethink her stance when she realizes what that’s for. To get attention from guys at any cost, duh. She’s having trouble on that front. Even with his memory gone, Stefan is completely over her. Elena happened, and nothing can top that. Rebecca also hates modern, electronic dance music. We do too, Rebecca. Give us something that doesn’t sound like a computer, please.
Gloria uses magic to try to find Rebecca’s old necklace and sees Elena with Caroline and Bonnie, cooking. Gloria doesn’t tell Klaus much about what she sees, because she wants the necklace for herself. Later, she paralyzes and tortures Stefan for the necklace’s location. We find out that Stefan is still very in love with Elena and would do anything for her (as if there was any doubt). Katherine shows up, kills Gloria, saves Stefan, and tells him that she wants a partner in crime. Stefan turns her down, because he’s not a moron and knows that you can’t trust Katherine.
Katherine and Stefan discuss “Michael,” a vampire slayer that Klaus was running from in the 1920s. We assume they mean Archangel Michael, because it seems like no one else has Klaus-killing capabilities. From here, we assume that Stefan is going to look for this vampire killer and set Klaus up, in Chicago, to die by his hand. But that’s not the direction in which the show goes this episode.
Back in Mystic Falls, Elena and Damon are getting cozier. He has even been teaching her how to cook. Elena is looking for a nice, shiny Stefan replacement, so she is unconsciously trying to make Damon into the person his brother was before Klaus. Elena is watching Damon’s every action, and won’t get off his dick. (Not in the literal sense. We wish. Figuratively. She’s being what Damon would call a “buzzkill.”) All of this concerns Alaric, so he gets up in Damon’s grill, asking him to behave. Damon snaps his neck, knowing Alaric has his ring on. Bonnie and Caroline also try to warn Elena about crushing on Damon.
Bonnie returns from her summer away, complicating things emotionally for Jeremy who has progressed in his ghost-sensing abilities to the point where he is having full conversations with Anna. He has been able to block Vicki out, for the most part. At the end of the episode, he blocks Anna out too. When Gloria seeks the necklace, it burns Elena’s neck, zaps Bonnie, and levitates, so Bonnie keeps it to inspect its magical properties. Katherine appears in Mystic Falls and gets the necklace back from Bonnie, doing her ever-reliable Elena impression. Straight hair and a look of concern are all it takes.
Liz gets Damon to compel Bill Forbes into forgetting everything and leaving town. They let Bill go, but it turns out that he has trained his mind to resist compulsion. Bill shows up at a Council meeting and suggests that the town’s water supply be spiked with vervain. Damon goes to kill Bill (aaaand now we want to watch that movie), but then he decides to just feed off of Bill multiple times to drag it out. Caroline bursts in and saves her daddy. We were extremely jazzed to see Damon and Caroline fight.
Bill leaves town, telling Caroline that she will never be alright again, because she’s a vampire. But at least he thanks her for saving him. Man, that’s the worst. Having a parent think you are never going to be fine, no matter what you do. Ugh. Alaric tells Damon he’s a dick and Elena fights with him to get him to become good. Damon calls her on trying to change him, and the two part ways, sulking. Katherine comes to Damon’s house at the exact right moment to secure him as her new ally. They leave on a road trip. Yayy!
Finally Rebecca realizes that Stefan is still attached to his old life. Stefan asks Rebecca about Michael, further tipping her off to Stefan’s true alliances. Rebecca lets her brother know that Stefan isn’t with them, and Klaus trusts his sister’s reportedly infallible instincts. He knocks Stefan out and takes him…back to Mystic Falls to check things out. How long until Klaus realizes that Elena is alive? We’re guessing that he will know by the next episode. Just as we were starting to settle in with the Stefan on the road, undercover theme, the show scraps it. Ahhhhh!
Episode grade: A-
Thursday, October 6, 2011
A Mix Of Sex and Horror. And the Gimp from Pulp Fiction Finally Gets Some.
This is a show that you will probably either love or hate. Some of that might depend on how many of the references to classic American horror movies you can catch, but expertise on The Shining is not required. Ryan Murphy hasn’t been able to be as weird as he really wants to be for a while. The kids on Glee are sweet, often innocent, and they sing in a show choir. But with his new adult horror miniseries on FX, Ryan is free to make the teenagers psychos, cutters, bullies, and hipsters. The risk with Murphy is that he will get too weird. Does anyone remember the later seasons of Nip/Tuck? Sometimes when you go too overboard, things get unintentionally hilarious.
Was it scary? As you might expect, we have a high bar for scary, if only because we’ve seen so many movies and so much TV. You really do get desensitized. One of us has read nearly all of Stephen King’s books (and at a young age too). We’ve lived alone, walked at night, shot guns, jumped out of planes, jumped off of bluffs, helped film an amateur horror movie in the woods, and watched that video of The Hoff really drunk on YouTube. So American Horror Story hasn’t scared us yet, but it has intrigued us, which is something.
The haunted house is gorgeous. Leeard loves houses like that. Ern prefers small apartments, because there is less to clean. But the Harmon family already has a maid, so it’s all good. Actually, it’s far from good. That maid is a troublemaking ghost. We love this character, and we don’t want to say too much about her, in case people reading haven’t seen the show yet.
There’s tons of slightly kinky sexual material in this show so far, and we know there are people who will feel uncomfortable watching that. Mr. Harmon sleepwalks naked, masturbates and then cries, and is constantly trying to get some with his wife, who kind of hates him right now. The couple who lived in the house before the Harmons had a couple of gimp suits in the attic. They were gay men who ended up dead. Mrs. Harmon has sex with a ghost wearing one of those rubber suits, thinking he’s her husband. She enjoys it. We really don’t understand the gimp suit attraction. Other things about S&M are more understandable, but the second someone puts a wetsuit on, we think, “Now how is that hot?”
The scenes at Violet’s high school reminded us of darker versions of Glee scenes. They were over-the-top, unlikely, and funny. We enjoyed seeing the bully get pranked by Violet, her new friend, and some old woman who has “rotting old woman syndrome,” a common syndrome in old women (we know this from TV and movies). We should raise awareness.
Denis O’Hare’s character shows promise, as does Mrs. Harmon’s pregnancy. We also love Jessica Lange’s character, because she is hilarious. As rude, blunt, and strange as she is, she was right to tell Mrs. Harmon off. You never touch someone else’s child without their permission, and you especially don’t touch them in an angry way.
We weren’t sure if we would like the stuff with the troubled marriage, but the couple’s big fight scene was pretty good. We actually feel bad for both parties, and we look forward to getting in their heads. Connie Britton’s acting is better than Dylan McDermott’s though. Ryan Murphy loves having characters with Down Syndrome on his shows, and this is no exception. We like this character. We also like that Mr. Harmon is a psychiatrist. Bringing crazy patients into the haunted house can add to the creep factor.
Overall, this show tried to put every strange and scary thing in its pilot that it could. There were ginger twins, babies in jars, and the supernatural beings messing with people’s heads. There was a little blood, ominous music, and a kid who is two seconds away from shooting everyone he knows. This show needs to imply more, leave more to the imagination, raise a little mystery, let us wonder about the ghosts’ intentions, and drop some hints.
The show needs to be careful, or it's going to get too silly. Its M.O. is to heavy-handedly lay it all out there for us to see. Play some of those cards closer to the chest later on. Horror is all about the build-up. We understand that it might want to attract attention early to get and keep viewers. But now the show has to stay at this level and intensify from here. That might be hard to do. Overall, we liked this though, and we were entertained.
Was it scary? As you might expect, we have a high bar for scary, if only because we’ve seen so many movies and so much TV. You really do get desensitized. One of us has read nearly all of Stephen King’s books (and at a young age too). We’ve lived alone, walked at night, shot guns, jumped out of planes, jumped off of bluffs, helped film an amateur horror movie in the woods, and watched that video of The Hoff really drunk on YouTube. So American Horror Story hasn’t scared us yet, but it has intrigued us, which is something.
The haunted house is gorgeous. Leeard loves houses like that. Ern prefers small apartments, because there is less to clean. But the Harmon family already has a maid, so it’s all good. Actually, it’s far from good. That maid is a troublemaking ghost. We love this character, and we don’t want to say too much about her, in case people reading haven’t seen the show yet.
There’s tons of slightly kinky sexual material in this show so far, and we know there are people who will feel uncomfortable watching that. Mr. Harmon sleepwalks naked, masturbates and then cries, and is constantly trying to get some with his wife, who kind of hates him right now. The couple who lived in the house before the Harmons had a couple of gimp suits in the attic. They were gay men who ended up dead. Mrs. Harmon has sex with a ghost wearing one of those rubber suits, thinking he’s her husband. She enjoys it. We really don’t understand the gimp suit attraction. Other things about S&M are more understandable, but the second someone puts a wetsuit on, we think, “Now how is that hot?”
The scenes at Violet’s high school reminded us of darker versions of Glee scenes. They were over-the-top, unlikely, and funny. We enjoyed seeing the bully get pranked by Violet, her new friend, and some old woman who has “rotting old woman syndrome,” a common syndrome in old women (we know this from TV and movies). We should raise awareness.
Denis O’Hare’s character shows promise, as does Mrs. Harmon’s pregnancy. We also love Jessica Lange’s character, because she is hilarious. As rude, blunt, and strange as she is, she was right to tell Mrs. Harmon off. You never touch someone else’s child without their permission, and you especially don’t touch them in an angry way.
We weren’t sure if we would like the stuff with the troubled marriage, but the couple’s big fight scene was pretty good. We actually feel bad for both parties, and we look forward to getting in their heads. Connie Britton’s acting is better than Dylan McDermott’s though. Ryan Murphy loves having characters with Down Syndrome on his shows, and this is no exception. We like this character. We also like that Mr. Harmon is a psychiatrist. Bringing crazy patients into the haunted house can add to the creep factor.
Overall, this show tried to put every strange and scary thing in its pilot that it could. There were ginger twins, babies in jars, and the supernatural beings messing with people’s heads. There was a little blood, ominous music, and a kid who is two seconds away from shooting everyone he knows. This show needs to imply more, leave more to the imagination, raise a little mystery, let us wonder about the ghosts’ intentions, and drop some hints.
The show needs to be careful, or it's going to get too silly. Its M.O. is to heavy-handedly lay it all out there for us to see. Play some of those cards closer to the chest later on. Horror is all about the build-up. We understand that it might want to attract attention early to get and keep viewers. But now the show has to stay at this level and intensify from here. That might be hard to do. Overall, we liked this though, and we were entertained.
Episode grade: B+
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