Best Friends Forever - our first impression

We’ve had three weeks of this NBC show, so it’s time to weigh in. Leeard liked the show from the start. It’s very cute, we like the topic of best friends, it’s easy to watch, and there are some funny moments. Ern thinks it’s okay. It’s not laugh-out-loud funny and sometimes the friends can get a little loud and scream-y. There’s also a question of whether one friend is taking advantage of another and whether the friendship is more co-dependent than supportive. But without the closeness, there would be no show. 

One of the likable things is the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship depicted. It’s one of the least annoying romantic relationships on TV right now. It feels real, and it’s one of the show’s most entertaining features. The acting is good and the Braveheart references were impressive/amusing. The show plays us hot and cold. Sometimes it has really good moments and sometimes it’s unimpressive. For the most part, we like the writing and characters, but it's not original enough or funny enough to stave of a bleak fate. The show needs some time to grow and develop, but it probably won’t get it. Best Friends Forever is likely to be canceled, so don’t get too attached.

Pilot grade: B

The Butt Dial: B-

Put a Pin in It: C+

Divergent - book review

 Spoiler free

Back in January, two of our readers recommended that we check out Divergent, a young adult book by Veronica Roth. We eventually DO get around to almost all recommendations, it just takes us a while. We have school and lots of TV to watch. One of the recommendations said, “Have you read 'Divergent' by Veronica Roth? It has all of the following elements to guarantee its awesomeness: kick a** teenage heroine (if she and Katniss were in a fight, they would probably just punch each other in the face over and over until someone punked out), extended training montages, fun with personality types, swoon-worthy male lead, and a completely unrealistic dystopian Chicago. It's all kinds of great.”

We agree with all of that. The other reader who recommended it said, “I couldn’t stop thinking about it.” The same here. We roared with rage when we realized that the sequel isn’t out until May. We think the Veronica Roth has some depth to her, since she said this in an interview: “We can make even something as well-intentioned as virtue into an idol, or an evil thing. And that virtue as an end unto itself is worthless to us. I did spend a large portion of my adolescence trying to be as ‘good’ as possible so that I could prove my worth to the people around me, to myself, to God, to everyone. It’s only now that I’m a little older that I realize I am unable to be truly ‘good’ and that it’s my reasons for striving after virtue that need adjustment more than my behavior.” We like that.

But onto the book. It’s thoroughly entertaining, it has great characters, it’s well-written, it’s thought provoking, and it is just screaming to be made into a movie (or a really good video game). Fortunately, a studio has picked up the rights. If it’s done well, it will be a good movie and possibly the next big thing. It should appeal to fans of The Hunger Games and Harry Potter. There is something similar to the sorting ceremony in this book, only more awesome. We don't want to tell you too much about it. If you’ve read the book and are wondering what our factions would be, we’ll tell you. Ern would want to be a Dauntless (the Pottermore sorting hat rightly put her in Gryffindor), but she is absolutely a Candor. A Candor who grew up in an Amity family…so…yeah, that was fun. Leeard would be an Erudite. (She has no idea what that means, but she has a feeling that she should be offended.) <-- Paranoia strikes again. Erudites are basically Ravenclaws, only more ambitious. Check the book out. Recommended.

Grade: A

Revenge- Doubt recap/review

What happened- Daniel is still in a maximum security prison on Riker’s Island. The Graysons, their lawyer, Ashley, and Amanda gather to think of a defense for Daniel. They plan to pin Tyler’s murder on Emily, but since they can’t find her, Victoria decides to set up Jack in order to plant doubt in the future jury’s mind. Amanda advises that the Graysons contact Mason Treadwill to help them frame Emily, since she figures he will want revenge on her for burning down his house.

Victoria pays her hoodlum independent contractor to have some inmates at Riker’s beat Daniel up so that the judge will reconsider bail. Daniel is hurt after the beating and gets to come home, under house arrest of course. Victoria is miffed that the inmates did such a good job hurting Daniel (breaking some ribs, fracturing a face bone, and giving him a concussion), but she pays her henchman anyway. Amanda follows Victoria and sees the exchange. At the bar where Victoria paid her henchman, she meets an old flame named Dominick Wright, a painter. They go to his loft and have sex.

Mason stops by the Stowaway to accuse Jack and get his side of the story. Declan overhears this and tells Mason that Charlotte was high on the night of the engagement party to discredit her testimony that she saw a hooded man. Mason puts Declan’s information on a blog and destroys the Grayson’s defense case. Charlotte tells Declan to get out of her life. Victoria tries to get Mason to post a retraction, but Mason is over her. He doesn’t think she has any more power.

Nolan suggests that Jack go to Montreal to find Emily. Conrad knows that Victoria is having an affair and asks her to keep it discreet. Victoria goes back to Dominick and sleeps with him again. Amanda goes to the bar to flirt with Victoria’s hoodlum. She records him telling her all the Grayson secrets, leads him to a back alley, and then beats the crap out of him for attacking Jack and having Daniel beat up. Victoria plants seeds of doubt in Daniel’s mind about Amanda.

Comments- This episode was quieter than the last couple, but it was still awesome. FINALLY this show is back, seriously. That hiatus was way too long. It’s a testament to how good the show is that it got good ratings last night. Even being off the air for more than a month won’t make viewers forget this show exists or that they care. This show is the series that Ringer wanted (and failed) to be. We love that it stopped being a revenge procedural and turned into an ongoing serial. 

We loved the scenes where Victoria slept with Dominick and where Amanda beat the criminal up in the alleyway. They are both such powerhouse women that they are perfect enemies and perfect entertainment. Dominick turned out way hotter than Conrad, Victoria. Dayumm. Yeah, he failed as a painter and Victoria was more into money and power, but she had to regret that a little. Now she’s getting her cake and eating it too (literally).

We didn’t have much of Nolan this week, which is a shame. We don’t really care about Charlotte and Declan, but it stinks that he had to throw her under the bus like that. He did the right thing. It was true that she was high and it is true that Jack isn’t a murderer, but that was quite a burn. We knew Victoria had Daniel beaten up immediately. We like that Amanda did too. One of the things that makes this show good is that its characters are not stupid. 

We love the addition of a real love interest for Victoria, who isn't completely inhuman. We know that Daniel is going to get his heart broken, one way or another, but we hope he continues to stick by Amanda anyway. He's a good guy and really the only person that Ern is rooting for on this show. Okay, maybe Nolan too. But Daniel is the real victim in all of this. It seems like Amanda's revenge will hit him the hardest. Leeard is obviously pulling for Amanda. In sum, this was a good return for a strong show that we can’t wait to see more of.

Episode grade: B+

New Girl, Cougar Town, South Park, and The Voice

New Girl - Kids

“I want to rub my face on his face!” is the best line in recent memory. The little girl was well-casted, and we are glad that CeCe isn’t pregnant. We loved Nick’s reaction to Russell’s daughter, Sarah, having a crush on him (“But I look like an old man!”) Nick, you’re perfect, and Jess is going to see that one day soon. We liked seeing Jeanne Tripplehorn getting post-Big Love work as Russell’s ex-wife who is definitely not over him. We are hoping to see more. Jess needs another archenemy. This show is the greatest in that it is consistent. It’s never horrid. It spans from pretty funny to hilarious. If it brought Lizzy Caplan back for another try at love with Nick, it would be perfect. We still haven’t seen the extent of her rage!

Episode grade: B+

Cougar Town - Ways to Be Wicked

We have to agree with the conclusion of this episode that if a family member just continues to be harmful and disrespectful, there is a point where you can cut them loose. There’s something to be said for unconditional love and seeing family members through hard times, but it benefits no one to let a family member continue to hurt you…especially that family member. We loved that Grayson is helping Laurie start her cake business! And that the security guard was bribable! This episode made us like Ellie more and gave her some well-needed softening. The episode was pretty funny too. Overall, we loved this one.

Episode grade: A-

South Park - I Should Never Have Gone Ziplining

This episode spoofed “I shouldn’t have…” reality TV programs. We weren’t feeling the first half. We were confused that the boys weren’t having fun. One of us went ziplining in Colorado, and it was super fun and scary. There were all sorts of steep drops and everything. Those boys picked the wrong tour. We liked the Shaka Bra thing, but the episode really picked up when they did a “re-enactment” of Kenny’s death. They had what looked like a bunch of douche-y frat boys play Kyle, Stan, Kenny, and Eric. We got a taste of what it would look like if South Park were not a cartoon. We liked that Kenny died of boredom and it was a great way to bring back the Christmas Poo himself.

Episode grade: B

The Voice this week

Christina should NOT have gone with Jessie Campbell. Growth and “Christina’s heart” are all well and good, but she wasted a good contender and just had to end up sending Ashley home the next day anyway. She should have gone with America’s vote and booted Ashley. That said, we prefer Chris Mann and Lindsay Pavao. Chris has a great voice and Lindsay has a unique one. They both just need the perfect songs that will fit them. Lindsay’s record is the one we would buy, so we are rooting for her. We thought Erin Willett did a great job with the ADELE song, but ADELE songs should not be covered anymore. We are glad RaeLynn went home. She wasn’t good. But that leaves Blake with no country artists, which is unexpected. Generally, the right people have been going home on this show. No one on the show blows us away, but we still have some dogs in the race. 

Don't Trust the B---- In Apartment 23 - Daddy's Girl

Even though it has been up on Hulu for people to watch since the beginning of April, Wikipedia tells us that the second episode of Apartment 23 aired on televisions last night. It's been a while since we saw it, but we remember liking it and thinking that it added some depth and feeling to Chloe. She needs to not be one-note, but she always needs to be a sociopath. This episode was perfect for that. And don't worry, June. That was a hot dad. We would have gone there too. Van Der Beek continues to provide laughs and we really need a third episode already. The wait for internet watchers has been long. Parent Trap airs next week on Wednesday night, and if you haven't tried the show yet, head to Hulu where the first two episodes are waiting. We think it's a pretty funny show.

Episode grade: B

Glee - Saturday Night Glee-ver review

Alex, how we didn’t miss you. He plays a Mercedes and Kurt fan named Wade. His real name is Unique, and she is hilarious. Of course Ryan Murphy wouldn’t miss an opportunity to let this kid do his drag thing. Will needs to leave or die, and Emma needs to take over the Glee club. She would be so much better and cuter at it. Sue and Will’s number was painful at first. Will’s high voice didn’t even sound like a person. When the kids joined in and started dancing, "Night Fever" got better. Finn’s dance moves looked like Ern’s.

Will singled out the kids who didn’t know what they were going to do “for the rest of their lives.” Um, who does? Maybe 2% of kids and 20% of adults. Mercedes’ "Disco Inferno" was pretty fun. She maybe growled a little too much in it. She was looking good in this episode. That red dress was her best outfit ever and it made us believe that Sam would want to be with her. “The cream always rises to the top, Mercedes.” Oh, Mr. Schue, how we hate you. No, it doesn’t. Haley Reinhart lost American Idol and Ashlee Simpson had a number one single. When he interpreted Santana’s love song as political and told her to go to law school, we barked a laugh. We agree with him that fame isn’t something to aspire to, though.

We are so over Finn and Rachel. How are they remotely believable as high school seniors? Finn, competitive eating champion sounds about right. "How Deep Is Your Love" was probably the best disco song for Rachel to solo, but we are annoyed that her first solo in FOREVER isn’t a belted powerhouse like "My Man". It was a little dull, too. Oh Finn, you artard. College-aged is still young. This episode is mildly painful for at least one of us. Who doesn’t have an artsy-fartsy dream they gave up because it wasn’t practical (besides Leeard)? Will Schuester talking about living your dreams and how it’s terrible if you didn’t dare to dream it makes us roll our eyes and bums us out. In high school, everyone’s dream is to be famous or be President. How many people will actually get there?

Wow, this post is getting bitter. Moving on. The Brittany/Santana storyline was a way better lesson. Alex did a pretty good job in his song, and Jesse St. James’ face made the dress storyline worth it. He looks better as a girl. If we want this though, we prefer to just watch Kinky Boots. Rachel looked the best she’s looked in a long time during Finn’s hideous song. We like the side-swept bangs and the soft curls. Ern tried sweeping her short bangs to the side and it just made her look like Hitler. We would watch Sue’s sex tape with Oliver North. We're not buying any of the songs, but we don't think Glee butchered disco. Their voices fit the songs and they were fun and happy. We'll call this a musical success. The episode was ok. It just served to remind us how little we care about these characters and their futures. 

Episode grade: B

Smash- The Movie Star

What Happened- It turns out that, like most movie stars, Rebecca Duvall isn’t Broadway material. She can’t sing. She also has plenty of ideas and wants to make the musical have more dialogue and fewer songs. Tom and Julia are offended, Eileen is worried, and Derek is mortified. He gets Ivy a job in Bombshell’s chorus, just in case Rebecca doesn’t work out and Karen turns out to still be too green by that time. Rebecca offers to take voice lessons and manages to breathe out a decent song.

Eileen breaks reads Ellis’s report on Bartender Nick. She meets with Nick and they talk about his past financial arrangement with criminals. Eileen gets over this, for some reason, and they kiss again. Tom and Sam go on a real date after Julia makes them. She is sick of watching them just flirt. Tom is upset when he finds out that Sam isn’t as into casual sex as he is. Sam believes in God and believes that sex is holy, so he wants to take it slow. He calls Tom out for his intimacy issues and constant singleness. Leo is struggling in school, so Frank and Julia have to meet in order to talk Leo into doing his homework again.

Comments- This episode wasn’t as eventful as last week’s, but it wasn’t a disaster either. We love Uma Thurman for being a good sport and proving that while she can still dance, she isn’t much of a singer. The funny thing is neither was Marilyn Monroe. The breath-y, range-challenged sexy voice actually fits the icon better. The real Marilyn couldn’t belt it like Ivy and she didn’t have Karen’s pleasant tone either. But in order to have a good musical, you need to have numbers that bring the house down and the voices to carry them. With the right side characters getting all the best songs, Tom and Julia could make this work. They’d have to scrap the best song so far though (Let Me Be Your Star, obviously).

Once again, we weren’t thrilled by the songs this week, even though the Rebecca Duvall one was fun to watch. We liked seeing Karen and Ivy hang out, even if Karen ditched her at the end. We agree that Miss Iowa was being way too touchy. We also liked seeing Derek stick up for Ivy. Ellis was pretty lame this week, and after we defended him in our last Smash post! We think it would be unrealistic if Julia gets Frank back. Dev needs to go. Overall, this episode was quiet and mostly pleasant. This show isn't the greatest, but we are weirdly addicted to it. 

Episode grade: B- 

How I Met Your Mother - Now We Are Even

What Happened - Ted is enjoying living alone, but Barney keeps trying to get him to stay out and party with him. Barney wants to make each night crazy and memorable by doing outrageous things, sometimes involving a camel. Barney makes sure everyone knows and remembers that he is awesome enough to be dating a stripper. In reality, Barney is feeling jealous because he is in love with Quinn and doesn't like that she is a stripper. Robin is upset that she still isn’t famous, even though she is a newscaster. When she gets stuck in a helicopter with a pilot having a stroke, Robin has to land the helicopter. This makes her famous. Lily has a sex dream and Marshall is determined to find out who was in it. It turns out to be Ranjit, the limo driver. Marshall freaks out for a little bit but then realizes that Lily is having dreams about good fathers. This isn’t exactly the real trend of Lily’s dreams, but it’s enough to get this dumb storyline behind them.

Comments - Man, that episode was rough. Ted’s reaction to living alone was Ern’s exact reaction. Living alone is the BEST. THING. EVER. Ern and Leeard have roommates for financial reasons, but living alone cuts out all the inconveniences that tend to prevent you from relaxing fully at home. The opening where Ted describes living alone was the high point of this episode. It was all downhill from there. There wasn't anything funny and the plot did not advance at all. Also, it feels like Lily has been pregnant forever. Of course they are probably saving the birth for the finale or at least later in the season.

Barney’s plan to make every night legendary would be a great plan for the show to adopt. Yet, this show has had a few un-legendary episodes this season that would make Norbit look like prime comedy. Well…ok…maybe not that bad. But still! We will be complaining about how much better the first four seasons were than the later seasons for a while. This episode was particularly bad. Even when this show isn’t funny, it’s usually not a chore to watch. Last night’s was hard to get through. It was kind of cool when Robin landed the helicopter, just because we love when she is bad ass. Ted in a dress is very fitting. Ted in a dress was referenced earlier in "The Mermaid Theory," so here is our full story on that one. Joy.

Does anyone but Barney like Quinn at this point? It looks like he is going to end up marrying this girl, but we aren't nuts about her. She's a fitting woman for Barney, but we preferred him with Robin. Or, hell, even Nora.

Episode grade: D+

Make It Or Break It- Growing Pains

What Happened- The US Training center hosts a weekend exhibition open to parents of the athletes. Payson’s dad, Lauren’s dad, Kaylie’s parents, and Kelly Parker’s mom show up. No one shows up for Jordan, so Coach McIntire makes sure to give her extra support during Parents Weekend. Kelly Parker’s mom tries to brive Coach McIntire into not only putting KP on the Olympic Team, but making her team captain as well. The coach tells her where to stick it and KP’s mom leaves.

Payson takes Lauren to a doctor’s office to check out her fainting spells. Lauren comes out of the testing room telling Payson that it is nothing; she only has to eat more Potassium. Payson is smarter than the average bear and stealthily calls the doctor posing as Lauren. Payson discovers that Lauren has an irregular heartbeat and needs more tests.

Kaylie and Austin have dinner with Kaylie’s parents, and Alec starts planning to market the two as an Olympic “golden couple.” Kaylie is annoyed by this…and she is further inconvenienced when her parents sleep together but still decide to remain apart. Kaylie does not return Austin’s first “I love you” until her mother gives her a talk about how love is never perfect but it is worth it anyway. Payson hears that her family is moving and that she will have to live with Kaylie when she trains at the Rock after the training center stuff is over. Payson comes around to it and asks her dad if she can live with Lauren instead. She is still mad at Kaylie for not telling her about the doctored video.

Comments- We guess we just have to accept that Lauren is growing as a person and we are not allowed to hate her as much anymore. We have Kelly Parker’s mom to hate instead. She is absolutely hideous. She’s like one of those moms on Toddlers and Tiaras, only she’s playing with higher stakes. We’re glad Kelly told her to take a hike for her managerial, lame tactics. Then Coach McIntire told her off as well. Our lives are complete. Now we never need to see her again…right?

This week gave us a return of the rest of the parents from The Rock, yay! We’ve been missing the adult characters from the first two seasons. We guess Peri Gilpin is either too busy or too expensive to appear in this episode as Payson’s mom, but we missed her. This episode made us like Kaylie’s parents more. It takes a lot for a divorced couple to be friends, eat together, and treat each other with respect, rather than the normal sidelong glares and snide, passive aggressive comments. Most divorced couples shouldn’t have sex after the divorce, but the overall sentiments were nice.

We were really annoyed when Lauren lied to Payson about her prognosis and thought that it would be weeks before we would find out what is wrong with Lauren. But Payson proved awesome this week when she called the doctor, posing as Lauren/Rachel. Payson, it’s time to call Lauren’s dad. We loved the way the coach handled Jordan in this episode. The girls on Make It Or Break It sure get the best coaches. Payson needs to forgive Kaylie. This rift is new, but it’s already annoying. One thing we liked is the news that Payson will have to train at The Rock just before the Olympics. Does that mean we will get to see more of the parents AND Sasha and Summer? We can only hope. That would make the season perfect.

Episode grade: B

Mad Men - Signal 30 review and The Good Wife - Pants on Fire review

Mad Men - Signal 30

Pete is such a child. Of course he needs to take driver’s ed. He gets a ridiculous crush on a high school girl who fortunately ends up falling for an attractive schoolmate. That girl dodged a bullet. Ern has never liked Pete. When Pete wrongs Trudy, Ern gets offended because she is Annie from Community. Leeard likes him. It’s nice to see some growth in Don, however long it lasts before he probably relapses. We are still loving Megan unabashedly.

It’s great to see Joan back to work. She is so perfect and her tact has no end. She always knows what to do, as evidenced by how she handled being kissed by Lane. Is it possible that Lane/Joan might actually happen? Lane had the best line of the episode.“You’re a grimy little pimp.” Wow, did you see Pete’s girly, sideways punches? We think it’s safe to say that either of us could beat Pete in a fight. How great was it to see Pete get punched in the face after an episode (and possibly series) of him deserving it? We are rooting for another fight on this show. We are also rooting for Ken and his writing.

Episode grade: B-

The Good Wife - Pants on Fire

Holy moly, this one was eventful. What a bunch of politicians this show has. It also gave us hope that Cary might come back to work with Alicia. They are getting along and Cary is unhappy at his current job. Kalinda did her usual Veronica Mars act and solved the case for Alicia, but most of the happenings were personal and political. Thankfully, the episode opened with Alicia confronting Jackie at the beauty parlor. Jackie is so creepy! She wants to move into the old house with Peter and the kids, replacing Alicia as the family matriarch. Gross and tacky. Is that stroke real?

It was sad when Eli slept with Vanessa but then had to stop working on her campaign. We get why he had to do it, but it’s still less than admirable. We will miss Vanessa. It’s nice seeing Eli’s romantic side. Matthew Perry’s character, Mike Kresteva, gets slimier every time we see him. He tells outright lies to make Alicia and Peter look bad, because he is running for governor and doesn’t want Peter to. Threatening Peter’s family was a low blow, and we look forward to seeing this guy try to take Peter down through Alicia. We guess we needed someone truly evil to replace Wendy Scott-Carr. Alicia is flabbergasted that someone could be such a shameless liar. We can't wait to see Peter run for office with Alicia's support. We’re glad this hiatus is over.

Episode grade: B+

Game of Thrones - What Is Dead May Never Die

What happened - There was almost no consequence for Jon Snow after following Craster into the woods. Craster just told them all that they had to leave. Lord Commander Mormont already knew that Craster sacrifices his sons to the eerie residents of the far north. Samwell gives a keepsake of his mother’s to Gilly, telling her to hold onto it for him until he comes back. Tyrion uses a scheme to find out who is leaking information to his sister. It turns out that Maester Pycelle is the spy, so Tyrion arrests him. Varys gets Shae (Tyrion’s hooker) the position of Sansa’s handmaiden. Bran thinks that he is having magic dreams where he can go inside the heads of direwolves. He is told that there is no more magic and his dreams are just dreams.

Theon Greyjoy sides with his father and doesn’t warn Robb Stark that the Greyjoys are about to attack the North from the sea. We see Renly Baratheon and his new bride, Margaery Tyrell, who was part of a deal to get Renly the support of the Tyrell family. Renly watches a large woman named Brienne win a duel and gives her a place on his Kingsguard. Catelyn meets with Renly and he promises that he will get Joffrey’s head for Catelyn. We are reminded that Renly is secretly gay, but his new wife is alright with it as long as he is able to impregnate her. She offers to have her brother join them in bed to get Renly started. Yoren is killed when the Night’s Watch recruits are attacked by Joffrey’s men. The recruits are captured. One of the recruits is killed and Arya tells the attackers that the recruit was Gendry. She did this in order to protect the real Gendry. 

Our Comments - Samwell giving the thimble to Gilly is only cute if he actually does come back. We thought it was hilarious when Renly’s wife was completely understanding of his homosexuality. She should win the Most Accommodating Wife award. She tested her theory with her boobs first, naturally. In the books, it is only hinted that Renly is gay. When there is potential for a gay love scene, HBO is going to take it. This is subtext no more.

We were happy to finally see Brienne the Beauty because she is awesome. How perfectly cast was she? She was large and masculine without being really ugly. We liked Yara’s reasoning for fooling Theon last week. She wanted to see what sort of man he was. If she had been revealed as Theon’s sister, he would have been respectful. But Theon showed himself to be crass toward people he considers beneath him.

Theon does get one ship from his father. It’s called “The Sea Bitch,” which is obviously the best boat name ever. We loved Tyrion this week, but we aren’t getting what he sees in Shae. She’s starting to bug us. Hopefully the show uses her new position as a way to give Sansa more to do. Sansa is so cool looking. Shae was not Sansa’s handmaiden in the books, but we are digging the change so far. Sansa needs a crafty, worldly ally.

We liked Tommen this week. Prince Tommen is Cersei’s youngest son, also a product of incest (note: aren't all of them?). He said he wouldn’t like it if Sansa’s brother were killed. That is nice and shows that he is not as much of a brat as Joffrey. Who is? Seriously, who? Can you think of another kid in entertainment who so deserves to be slapped in every scene? We are sad to lose Yoren, but it’s not a surprise. We are shipping Arya and Gendry harder than ever. Since she protected Gendry, we’re sure he will try to keep the soldiers thinking she’s a boy.

We liked this episode better than last week’s, but not as much as the premiere. We didn’t get to see Danaerys, Robb, or Jaime this week.

Episode grade: B

Thursdays Aren't The Same Without Our CW Shows, But At Least We Had These Four Episodes

Community - Origins of Vampire Mythology

This was one of Community’s more traditional, normal, and season one-esque episodes. We prefer the high-concept spoofing episodes like the Christmas specials, the one with the alternate timelines, the World of Warcraft episode, and last week’s pillow fight documentary. This episode was more about the crazy characters, their solid friendships, and their neuroticism and insecurities (particularly Britta and Jeff’s). We loved the advancement of the Britta/Troy pairing, which was hinted at earlier and needs to happen eventually. Jeff’s speech at the end might have been less than subtle, but it’s a speech that most women who love bad boys need to hear. Heck, it’s a speech we should all take to heart.

Episode grade: B

Touch - Entanglement

This week, one of the random characters Martin needs to help is a young Muslim woman fighting an arranged marriage. This is a country where it’s against the law for women to drive, so we actually think she should marry the guy, seeing as he is college educated and traveled the world. You could do worse. Maybe he’s cultured? That story got even more interesting fast. Halfway through, we see the most intriguing random character: a girl bent on revenge. We love revenge stories! We loved what Martin said to her even more. He shouldn’t have moved her after she was hit by that van though. Never move anyone after an accident; you could hurt them more and then get sued.

 It was weird that when Martin looked up the Bible verse Exodus 22:22, he read the words next to a number that clearly said four (not 22). He got the words of verse correct, but what kind of funky Bible did they use for a prop? Someone berated a girl for breaking a rule and used the phrase, “If you take out one brick, the whole wall will fall out.” We say that if your beliefs or way of life rely on each piece being concrete, they are too flimsy to stand. Things came together more smoothly this week, and we didn’t see any people from previous weeks, so things were less confusing. This is the kind of episode we want to see from this show. It was emotionally satisfying and not too complex.

Episode grade: A-

Awake - Ricky’s Tacos

We liked the opening with the fast food drive-through. It raises more questions. We also liked the new, big conspiracy that might provide more overarching plot. The cases were decent too. Fat Neil from Community was on this episode! This show is still extremely likely to be cancelled, and we are upset about that. Still, keep watching, telling your friends, and spreading the word on the internet that it is a good, original procedural. Talking to the kid without a lawyer or parent made us raise our eyebrows. How would that fly? Not that we hated it. They needed to get the little girl away from her father. Something has to stop Michael from moving to Portland, right? Question: Say Michael was actually living in parallel universes and each were equally real. If he hooked up with another woman/married her in the universe where his wife was dead, would that be morally wrong?

Episode grade: B

Grey’s Anatomy - Support System

After some bickering and cutesiness, Bailey, Teddy, Arizona, and Callie have a girls night together. The residents panic over their boards and use Lexie’s memory to help them study until Meredith takes over and teaches them Callie’s method. Mark takes over as chief of surgery in Owen’s absence. There are patients, blahblahblah. One of them teaches Meredith that even when a friend says they don’t want comfort and support, they are lying and you should always be there. Obviously the real drama in this episode was Owen moving out after Cristina guessed his subconscious motive for cheating on her. It was to hurt her like she hurt him when she aborted his baby. Owen didn’t deny this, and that’s why he got the boot. He left with some “I’ll always love you” speech, but Cristina is over boys for now. She needs to study for her boards.

This prompted a lot of debating with our friends over whether we would keep a husband around if he cheated (if he is anything less than husband, it’s not even a discussion; it’s automatic). Cristina seemed offended that it was just a one-night sex thing where he didn’t even remember the girl’s name, but we think that’s less offensive than a relationship or long-term mistress. We all agreed that we would never let a husband cheat twice and stay with him. We also debated whether it is more hurtful to cheat or to abort a baby the other spouse wanted. Cristina’s crime is more of a grey area, and she does have the woman’s right to choose on her side. Owen’s is always wrong to most people. We are really surprised he did that. Despite all the drama and the sad outcome of last night, we think these two are endgame. They’ve spent three seasons fighting for this relationship. It had better not be a waste of time.

Episode grade: B+

The Cabin in the Woods

This review is spoiler-free, but there are spoilers and a discussion for those who have seen the movie in the comments.

So yeah, if you haven’t seen the movie, read what we write here in this post, then go see the movie without proceeding to the comments. If you HAVE seen Cabin in the Woods, you may proceed to what we have written in the comments section. One of us has a policy of trying not to watch movie trailers. Ok, it’s Ern. We’re done keeping secrets from you guys!! Haha. Anyway, Ern likes to walk into a movie knowing as little as possible.

Since Ern likes all genres, it doesn’t matter what it’s about. It just matters that people and critics have been saying it’s good. It is also a draw if good writers, producers, directors, and actors are involved. With this movie, you have everything you need to know. Stellar reviews from the critics for a horror movie is rare. Also, Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard brought us this movie. Joss Whedon made Ern a Browncoat (Leeard still hasn’t seen Firefly; she’s the worst. At least she's caught up on Game of Thrones this season, and she'll be watching all 14 episodes of Firefly this summer.) and Drew Goddard’s projects include writing several LOST episodes. After seeing this movie, Ern has never been more pleased with her “blind screening” policy. It was great to know nothing for this one.

For those of you who like to know the background, we will give you this: Five students go to a cabin in the woods for a weekend in order to have a good time. Horror ensues. That’s really all you need to know. Yeah, it sounds like countless other horror movies, but trust Whedon (Buffy, Dollhouse) and Goddard to make it worth your while and make a different movie than you have seen before. The horror genre (at least commercially/in this country) is pretty dead and played out, but this movie brought freshness.

If you like horror, go see this movie. If you can stand blood and intensity, but think the horror genre is sick and depraved, go see this movie. Whedon describes the film as a "very loving hat letter" to the modern horror film genre. He uses what he likes and riffs on what he doesn't. If you hate what horror has become and are tired of the clichés, go see this movie. Goddard said that bad things in horror are students acting stupid and the genre just turning into torture port culminating in "a long series of sadistic comeuppances." We agree. Hopefully this movie is enough to kill those trends by pointing out their foolishness. If you are squeamish or don’t enjoy dark romps in the woods, avoid it. Still, Cabin is more witty, funny, and entertaining than it is scary. 

Movie Grade: A

South Park - Butterballs review

This episode was better in the second half. The point throughout a lot of this episode was that those who are anti-bullying are bullies themselves. We don’t know if that rang true, but there were a few observations in this episode that hit things on the nose. The first half left us puzzled because we couldn’t see what was funny about having Butters’ grandma be the bully. It made us think too much about kids getting abused by older family members, and that just bums us out.

The plot ended strongly with Butters confronting his grandmother with a few perfect words, but the Grandma thing was still the weakest spot of the episode. We like when Butters stands up for himself. He is the best new character this show has ever added. He is both funny and sweet, an uncommon mix in comedy.

The first thing that made sense to us was the slam of the movie Bully. The episode asked the question, “If it is so important that people see it and if the reason you are making the movie to stop bullying, then why don’t you put it online for free?” It’s a good point. Bully’s main goal is to make money, get attention, and get accolades. It’s working on that front. But South Park puts all its episodes online for free because Matt and Trey want people to be able to see them. And South Park doesn’t even claim to be a show that eradicates social evils.

We still want to see Bully, but more for voyeuristic reasons than anything else. When you are anti-something and make a video about it, you need to make sure that you and your video are squeaky clean and that you aren't exploiting anyone (including bullied children) for profit. There is a trend nowadays that revolutionaries and socially conscious people are self-righteous liberals with their heads up their bums. We think it is great that anyone is trying, even if the attempts aren't perfect, but you can't expect South Park to ignore hypocrites or do-gooders. They are prime targets.

The episode also attacked the Kony 2012 campaign. The point there is that the creator of the Kony video, like Stan, made it all about himself and then went crazy. Stan's music video (interspersed with segments of Cartman in drag singing about his vajayjay) was clever and catchy. It was probably the funniest part of the episode. We also liked the original song about jacking off in San Diego.

If The Book of Mormon didn’t prove that the South Park creators have a way with music, then surely the South Park movie and plenty of episodes showcase that talent well enough. Trey Parker has a strong sense of melody. If you are up on the Bully, Jason Russell, and Kony 2012 information/news, this episode will be a treat for you. Otherwise, you will miss the more childish, less preachy, and more Cartman-filled episodes. The moral of this story? Don't do anything good and call yourself a world-rocker unless you are doing it for free and at the expense of no one but yourself.

Episode grade: B

New Girl - Normal review, Cougar Town - You Can Still Change Your Mind review

New Girl - Normal

Someone watched this episode and wrote down/deciphered all the rules to True American! Thank you, tumblr! Ern and Leeard are totally playing next time we are together, which might be on our cruise to Europe. Yeahhh, we are going to get thrown off the boat. In this episode, Jess proves she is no longer the new girl. She has inside jokes and traditions with the boys and fits right in. They should change the name of the show to New Boy Man, because it’s Russell who is the odd man out now.

The best part was possibly Nick reciting the words to "A Whole New World" from Aladdin. We are falling in love with him and don’t know why Jess isn’t….yet (obviously). Winston finally has a storyline: He has a new job with a  horrible boss, prompting Winston to seek revenge by quitting and dipping his nuts into his boss’ milkshakes. We wish we could make up a There Will Be Blood reference, because of the milkshakes, but we can’t come up with a good one. “We ball all your milkshake. We nut it up!” No? Ok.

It was funny when Jess taped a napkin to Russell’s bleeding hand. Our favorite line this week was, ““If you wanna get with me, you’re going to have to get with my friends, and that is a Spice Girls song.” We love this show.

Episode grade: B+

Cougar Town - You Can Still Change Your Mind

Nearly every episode of this season so far has been flawless. This one was fine, but it wasn’t the show’s funniest.  Still, we don’t know what’s wrong with people that they aren’t watching this show. We’ve decided that it’s way cuter when Grayson has a daughter than when Luke did on Gilmore Girls. With Grayson, we already knew he was sleazy. Ern thought the illegitimate love child was sleazy with Luke, and it was also a suprise. But here, Jules’ reactions were so priceless that it saved it. We don’t really want a pregnancy storyline with her. This show knows how to keep the kids out of the picture when they aren’t needed. When’s the last time we saw Ellie’s child? Exactly.

We like that everyone is still calling the baby “Tampa.” We also liked that Ellie was kind of nice to Laurie at the end. What she said was true, too. We're relatively intelligent human beings, but there are things that make us feel dumb. Leeard just found out today the proper pronunciation of the word "solder." We hope that Ellie soon accepts Laurie and starts teasing her affectionately, rather than cruelly. It’s a shame Angie is already gone. We liked guest star Sarah Chalke and we also liked seeing Bobby date someone. Hopefully she changes her mind later in the season and makes a comeback. Leeard and Ern often compare their friendship to that of Jules and Ellie, except we are both Ellie.

Episode grade: B-

A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness

We read this book because it was advertised as “a more adult version of Twilight.” Lots of Ern’s complaints about Twilight stem from its stupidity, so Ern was anxious to see how that story would go down if it were written by someone with a brain. We also like the genre of urban fantasy and enjoy vampire books in general. Leeard even enjoys Twilight. Sadly, this book bored the pants off of us. The only reason we finished it was that we got it on audiobook and didn’t want to waste it, since audiobooks are expensive. The book then left us without resolving most of the story arcs.

That was the most excruciating listen of all time. It felt about ten times as long and took about a month to listen to, since we didn’t want to listen to it. The weakest thing about this book is that the romance was not romantic. The appeal of romance novels is that they get our lady minds in a dither and put butterflies in our stomachs. Maybe the main male character was too controlling. Maybe he was just too French. But he didn’t do it for us. The main female character was a Mary Sue to the max, and we got sick of hearing about how brilliant, gorgeous, and talented she was. We just weren't rooting for this couple or living vicariously through the female character, and that's what romance novels are for. 

The book focused on unimportant details like what the main characters ate and drank, mundane tasks like hair brushing, putting clothes on, yoga classes (seriously. We nearly died of boredom), napping, studying, whining, and daily errands. It didn’t just do this once or twice but throughout most of the book. If we were to cut this book down to the intriguing parts, it would be 80 pages, not 592. The peeks into the main character’s mind/prose/narration was uninteresting. There were some well-written parts, there was great world building, and we appreciated the author’s knowledge of history and biology, but she just didn’t do anything thrilling with it.

There was absolutely no humor in this book anywhere. There was little action. The girl is a damsel in distress, despite being very powerful. For most of the book, she doesn’t use her powers (for no good reason). She faints and has panic attacks and shakes a lot. Each panic attack takes about 10 pages of the book to get through. What's funny is that while she's just as big of an affront to feminism as Bella Swan, the author takes great pains to try to convince us that she is strong, modern, and independent, despite her fragile actions. We liked the ancient gods, knights, and time travel, but by the time you get there, you will have to slog through 14 hours of NOTHING. This book was also pretty shallow and cold. 

When you read a book about vampires, it’s usually a guilty pleasure thing, not a highbrow, enriching thing. There is no reason for urban fantasy to sacrifice being entertaining for being scholarly and grounded. This is the first book of a trilogy. The biggest insult we can give a book is that we will not read the next one. Maybe it would have been more enjoyable if we had read a physical copy, since we could have read it faster and skimmed the boring details. But alas, we had to listen to every dull word. 

We kept thinking it was building to something by being slow. But, spoiler alert, nothing exciting ever happens. What a waste of our lives. It’s a very typical romance, only it’s not a very thrilling one and it drags enough to make even Ern miss Twilight. We don’t have short attention spans either. We enjoy classics and one of us read the unedited version of The Stand by Stephen King. But hey, those were good, so they were worth it.

Book Grade: F

Glee- Big Brother review

Comments- Finally, Glee is back. We missed this show more than it deserves, because it’s often kind of a crappy show. Still, we are on the Glee train until it crashes. Thank God Rachel and Finn didn’t marry. The burning question of whether they went through with it was answered in the first line of the episode. What relief! Now we can breathe again.

We liked Quinn’s positive outlook and gratefulness at being alive, but we didn’t trust it. There’s no way Quinn could end up in a wheelchair with no drama. Sure enough, she's in denial about how long it's going to take to heal. I’m Still Standing was cute, but the lyrics were so on-the-nose and unintentionally hilarious. This is the way Glee always handles stories about the handicapped.  To hammer the PSA home, Glee had Quinn say, “Don’t text and drive. Texting and driving was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, besides sleeping with Puck.” Um, what about trying to steal Shelby’s baby?

We are glad that Quinn has a chance at a full recovery. Sue coaching the Glee club is a hilarious idea. Could Cooper BE any cuter? No, because it’s Matt Bomer from White Collar, one of the best-looking guys in history. It came as no shock to us when he came out of the closet. No guy that pretty is straight. He makes the usually adorable Blaine look homely by comparison.

Of course when Quinn doesn’t bring drama, Rachel provides it on Quinn’s behalf. Quinn shut it down nicely. Puck wants Finn to go into business with him for his BRAINS? Oh, Puck. Cooper is such a douche. Saying “Namaste” in a non-yoga setting was the clincher. Of course Matt Bomer would be able to sing too (at least we think/it’s tough to tell what these people actually sound like with all that autotune the show uses). One person should not be so gifted. It isn’t fair. Hopefully he’s stupid in real life, like Finn. We prefer Blaine’s voice though. Rio/Hungry Like a Wolf was a good mash-up in that the songs went well together.

Ern’s brother tries out new accents in public all the time, haha. We loved seeing baby Blaine and Cooper. Blaine was being too sensitive about his brother’s advice at dinner. Older siblings criticize and that’s that. He means well. When someone who means well criticizes you, you should take what’s helpful and ignore the rest without getting upset. We were really scared that Quinn was going to slide backwards off that ramp Artie made her climb. We disagree that it’s hard to go to a theme park in a wheelchair. Ern knows, because Ern did that once. No, Ern was neither injured nor handicapped. Ern was just a bad person when she was younger (and possibly now too.)

When you are in a wheelchair, they sometimes rush you to the front of lines and you get to remain seated the entire time. You don’t get tired. Someone in your family has to push you. Clearly, the writers of this show have never done this. Cooper’s acting lessons were so bad. We are starting to see why Blaine is annoyed. The man is an idiot and arrogant at the same time. During his acting lessons, we started to really loathe him and wish that he was off the show. “When a choice feels wrong, it’s actually a good sign.” Haha.

The thing about arrogant people is they don’t realize they are arrogant. It’s a blinding trait. They have no idea. They think they are the best people either. Blaine being mad at Cooper for being arrogant is like me being mad at Helen Keller for not being able to enjoy The Dark Knight. You just hope they one day seek therapy because they can’t form lasting relationships and let a professional break the news to them in a convincing way. Also, you realize that we are all a little arrogant and/or self-centered. Some people are just better at hiding it.

Blaine should never throw punches again. That’s not his forte. Fighter was ok. We like when the show has someone of one gender singing an original song by someone of the opposite gender. It’s hard to top Christina Aguilera though, and that’s one of her best songs (and creepiest music videos).

It’s about time we address Sue’s pregnancy, because that’s still happening. Oh show, why do you do these things to us? Leeard still refuses to believe this is a thing. She will not believe it until she sees the baby pop out of Sue, and she might not even believe it then. Apparently, the baby girl is going to have Down’s Syndrome. This is realistic, since Sue is old. But it’s not going to be funny. We fail to see how it will add anything to the show. We already have Becky.

Kurt’s solution to Blaine’s brother problem is that they sing it out. A) Stupid and B) Good, because it led to the best cover of the night. The song is just fantastic, so anyone singing it can make it nice. It was cool to apply the breakup song to the brothers’ relationship. Cooper, those Transformers movies suck anyway. The first one was ok. As for the final Rachel/Finn fight, we are past caring. But Team Rachel.

Episode grade: B

The Voice- Live performances week 2

Last week, we liked Erin Willet, Jermaine Paul, Lindsey Pavao, and Chris Mann, so eliminations night was good for us. This week, the performances were mostly meh. They need to stop letting these people pick their own songs. ITunes downloads are votes, people! Don't pick "Walk Like an Egyptian." No one wants to own that song.

Katrina Parker “Tonight Tonight”: We weren’t impressed with her in her first audition or the battle rounds, and this episode did nothing to change our minds. It wasn’t terrible, we just didn’t enjoy it and weren’t impressed. We think it was a good song choice though and we wish someone else sang it. Cee Lo was right that she didn’t connect with the song the way the Smashing Pumpkins singer did. B-

Cheesa “Don’t Leave Me This Way”: We are so sad that Angie got sent home instead of Cheesa, because we preferred Angie as a person. But Cheesa did better in the battle round. We agree that she earned it. Overall though, Cheesa is only here because she is loud. Her voice isn’t special or pleasant and neither was this performance. C+

Tony Luca “In Your Eyes”: This guy takes himself way too seriously for us to like him. His performance was pretty good though, so we don’t hate him. B

Kim Yarbrough “Rolling In the Deep”: We are rooting for Kim because she has a great voice. Lots of people think she is just a typical church singer, but we think she’s a little better than that. Sadly, she has no chance of winning because she is 50. We don’t like that she picked Rolling in the Deep. That song has been done to death and we are sick of it. Kim didn’t do it justice either. B-

James Massone “Don’t Know Why”: We hate him so much. This teen heartthrob type doesn’t hold a candle to most of the other singers. His thin, young voice just doesn’t bring it. C+

Juliet Simms “Roxanne”: We generally like her, even though she does the growl too much. This performance was on key and enjoyable. We agree with Blake that we actually heard her voice for the first time. She let a little of her good tone out beneath the growl. She reminds us of Juliette Lewis, looks-wise. B+

Mathai “Ordinary People”: We think she oversang this one a little. There were too many riffs, and she did look too happy considering the subject matter of the song. We didn't really like the song either and agree that it was "lounge-y". Vocally though, we don’t have complaints. Good job, Mathai. Lovely. B

Tony Vincent “Everybody Wants to Rule the World”: Tony is a strong player in this competition, but this was his weakest performance so far. We don’t think the song fit him well. He needs to stick to stuff like Queen. We wish he had hair. He’s so tall and skinny too. He recalls Voldemort. We advise that he pick more rocking songs and never wink at the camera ever again. B-

Karla Davis “Airplanes”: We like that she tried to do an all-female, no rap version of this song, but her voice wasn’t strong enough to make it work. This turned into a disaster, but we enjoyed the surprise and the risk. Her voice WAS too whispery though. C-

Erin Martin “Walk Like an Egyptian”: Believe it or not, we like Erin. She seems sweet and we like her breezy, dumb manner. We think her voice could really work with the right songs. This wasn’t the right song and the performance was average. C

Pip “When You Were Young”: Shockingly, we don’t hate Pip either. He is adorable, and this was a solid performance, even though he is better with different genres. He’s vocally better than almost any of the guys American Idol has had in the last couple of years. B

Jamar Rogers “Are You Gonna Go My Way”: We love this guy’s attitude, and his performance was good. B+

How I Met Your Mother - Trilogy Time recap/review

What Happened - Barney complains to Lily and Robin about a fight he had with Quinn. Barney and Quinn are living together, and Barney has to go out on the street every night to fart. He also refuses to replace his coffee mugs with hers, because he “needs to assert his dominance as a man.” Lily and Robin are not amused by this. The girls tell Barney that his refusal to use Quinn’s things shows that he sees the relationship as temporary. He needs to keep his mugs because her mugs will be gone soon. This actually makes sense.

Later, Marshall, Barney, and Ted sit down to watch the Star Wars trilogy. This is a tradition that started in 2000 when Marshall and Ted were in college. They decided that they would watch the trilogy every three years, no matter what. They think about what they will be like in 2003 and decide that Ted will be a successful, long-haired architect with a hippie girlfriend (played by Robin in a blonde wig). Marshall envisions himself as a mustached lawyer married to a pregnant Lily. The show then cuts to actual 2003, which was a disappointment. Marshall was not even in law school yet, and Ted could not play the guitar.

In 2003, Marshall and Ted imagine 2006. In that reality, they are wealthy and married to Lily and Robin (respectively, not as a foursome). In the real 2006, Lily has left Marshall and the boys are upset. They leap ahead to 2009 in their imaginations. In the real 2009, they are still watching Star Wars, but their lives are not what they wanted them to be. Robin is sleeping with Barney and is forced to hide in Barney’s storm trooper suit in order to keep their affair a secret. She stands in the outfit during the entire trilogy viewing that year. Finally, Marshall and Ted imagine and appear in 2012.

Ted is upset that his dreams have never come true. He decides that since he is 36 and unmarried, there must be something wrong with him. Don't worry Ted, Leeard doesn't think there's anything wrong with you. He imagines that in 2015, he will be a hoarder with no hair, calling frozen food company representatives to chat. Ted envisions Marshall as a cool, mustached boat owner with three kids and two on the way. Robin is married to a douchebag because it turns out she can commit, just not to Ted! In all this episode’s imaginings, Barney is sleeping with a different woman. Barney decides that he doesn’t want that to be the case in 2015. He wants to be with Quinn three years from now. So Barney goes home, smashes all of his mugs, and farts freely (as does Quinn).

At the end of the episode, we get a glimpse of the real 2015. Ted’s voiceover tells us that Ted is happy in 2015. In the future, Barney and Marshall are complaining that Ted brought a girl to trilogy time. Ted walks in with his newborn daughter. That means that Ted has to meet the mother by 2013/2014 at the latest!

Comments - What’s this? A How I Met Your Mother episode that we didn’t hate? We didn’t love it, but we will take what we can get. The last three seasons or so have been just awful, including this one. This is episode 21 and we don’t have many memorable moments from this year. This episode at least had a super precious ending. But fart jokes? Really, show?

We thought it was funny that some fat man was scoping out Barney as he farted every night. We were surprised that Star Wars was the trilogy of choice. The year 2000 was the year after The Phantom Menace came out and disappointed fans everywhere. Don’t get us wrong, we love Star Wars (Leeard more than Ern), but there are stronger trilogies (Leeard disagrees - there's little wrong with the original trilogy). We fully expect the last of Chris Nolan’s Batmans to give us a trilogy for the ages. Star Wars features a stock plot, stock characters, weird incest, and only one really good movie (Empire, duh). Trilogy time for Ern would be Lord of the Rings. This episode had a good idea. Sit down and imagine the future and have a trilogy marathon every three years? We like it.

Someone needed to tell college version of Marshall that law school takes three years, and he would not have graduated law school by 2003. Everyone knows that. The stormtrooper stuff was funny. We don’t know if we like Quinn after the last couple of episodes with her. We liked her first appearance, but she seems like a bad person. We still want Barney and Robin more. Quinn isn’t terrible and we like the actress. We also like her attitude, but we want to LOVE who Barney ends up with.

The ending finally set a deadline for meeting the mother. We will have to meet her either next year or the year after. When Marshall and Barney mentioned that Ted brought a girl to trilogy time, we thought it was another “mother tease” and that the mother was in the other room. When Ted walked in with a baby, it was so cute and surprising. And baby girl, yes Han shot first. The gang is already parenting Ted’s child well. Wise counsel this is.

Episode grade: B

(For once we agree on the grade and didn't have to average our two grades. Look at us. On the same page. Leeard was surprised Ern thought the ending was cute, but it's a little-known fact that Ern loves babies almost as much as she loves dogs.)

Being Human season 2 finale- It's My Party and I'll Die If I Want To recap/review

What Happened- Josh is still mourning Julia and blaming himself for her death, naturally. His sister tries to comfort him to no avail. Nora tells Josh that if he kills Ray, everyone werewolf Josh has made will be cured. Since Josh promised Nora that he would save her, he is now determined to kill Ray. Even though he promised Nora that he wouldn’t kill Ray. Sally possesses Ray’s wife and calls him, telling him that her car broke down. When Ray shows up on an abandoned road to help his wife, Josh jumps out with a gun and takes him to the woods shed. Josh bungles the situation and Ray ends up holding the shotgun on Josh. Nora shows up with a handgun and holds it on Ray. The screen goes black and we hear two gunshots.

Aidan plans to meet Josh at the shed and help him kill Ray, but he got sidetracked. He decides to kill Mother and asks Henry to give him a signal when Mother is asleep. Henry bungles the situation and Mother manages to trap Aidan. Mother tries to get Suren to kill Aidan in order to prove herself, but Suren refuses. Mother kills Suren and pits Aidan to ground in Suren’s old grave. Mother keeps her victims hanging from meat hooks in her cellar, which is disgusting.

Sally wants to go to limbo to rectify her misdeeds. She can either get shredded or take another ghost’s door, which she doesn’t want to do since she might make the other ghost go crazy like she did. Sally asks her mother to shred her, but Mom won’t do it. Mom says sweet things to Sally and then Mom’s door appears. Mom tries to get Sally to take it, but Sally isn’t willing to hurt her own mother. Sally shreds herself. At the end of the episode, we hear Sally trying to contact Josh and Aidan through a radio frequency. We hear her tell them that she needs help and that she made a mistake.

Comments- Last week, we were too busy to write about the episode that killed Julia, but that was a great one. We were sad when she died, and it has to be hard for Josh to realize that if he was just honest in the first place, Julia would have loved him enough.

This show couldn’t go out without showing us Aidan’s doofy mustache again. The vampire party disappointed. Hundreds of years of life and the best thing a vampire can play is Fur Elise? Ern could play that song at one point, and Ern is known for being pretty lame at the piano.

Josh and Aidan are incapable of screaming words like straight men. Josh yelling at Ray to get down on the ground was the gayest thing we’ve ever heard. We are not sad that Suren died. She was crazy and a bad influence on Aidan. She took this season to a dark place. Sally is awesome and brave for shredding herself.

We can’t believe this is how they are ending things this season. Cliffhangers always bum us out. At least there will be a season three. This season, overall, was a little too dark for us. We love dark, but there need to be moments of levity and friendship. The humor in this season was good, but there was far too little. We need more roommate boding and fewer meat hooks, thanks.

Episode grade: B+

Season grade: B