Leeard's Picks for the Third Round of the TWoP Tubey Awards

Best Cast - Community. It was painful picking between that and Game of Thrones, but I would legitimately spend the rest of my life hanging out with the cast of Community if I could, so they win.
Best "Hell Yeah" Moment - Castle and Beckett finally kiss for real, Castle. I didn't want to pick this (because I've been trying to not spoil Castle for Ern), but I couldn't bring myself to pick anything else. Such an awesome moment.
Best Pop Culture Reference - Cougarton Abbey title card, Cougar Town. The melding of two of my favorite comedies? Yes.
Best Unexpected Plot Twist - Renly is killed, Game of Thrones.
Guiltiest TV Pleasure - Secret Life of the American Teenager. All day, every day.
Neverending Subplot That Most Needs to Be Resolved - Who is the mother, How I Met Your Mother. Seriously.
Most Redemptive Character in a Sucky Show - Santana, Glee.
Best Reality TV Moment - Melanie wins, So You Think You Can Dance. Love that girl.
Best Single Episode (Drama) - "Always", Castle. Always.
Best Single Episode (Comedy) - Remedial Chaos Theory, Community.
Best Romantic Relationship - Brad and Jane, Happy Endings. I want a marriage like theirs.
Worst Romantic Relationship - Brennan and Booth, Bones. Until they actually got together, it was the thing I wanted most on tv. Now? Not so much. Robb and Talisa from Game of Thrones are a close second, because no one is good enough for Robb.
Best HoYay! Couple - Troy and Abed, Community.
Best Single Line of Dialogue - "I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time, thinks I'm the best person in the world, and wants to have sex with only me." Hannah, Girls. #gpoy
Best "WTF" Moment - The Reaper turns out to have been Sally all along, Being Human.
Worst "WTF" Moment - Brennan ditches Booth, runs off with their newborn baby because she's being framed for murder, Bones. Ugh.
Least Favorite Actor - Damian McGinty, Glee.
Least Favorite Actress - Hillary Burton, White Collar.
Most Deserved Cancellation of the 2011-12 Season - Work It.
Favorite Show to Hate Watch - Jersey Shore.
Reality TV Star Most Deserving of a Spin-off - Catelynn and Tyler, Teen Mom.
Best Imported Show on US TV - Degrassi.
Actor From a Cancelled 2011-12 Show Most Deserving of a New Show - Adam Baldwin, Chuck.
Favorite Showrunner - Dan Harmon, Community. Miss you.
Best Villain - Emily Thorne, Revenge.
Least Villainous Villain - Ellis, Smash. Ugh. So glad he won't be on the next season.
Most Egregiously Offensive Reality Show - Toddlers & Tiaras.

The Last Hiatus

In about a week, all our studies will be over/one of us will be done moving. Not having law school/the bar exam/moving in the mix is going to make this blog awesome again. So bear with us. Things are so dire right now that Ern HASN'T SEEN THE BREAKING BAD PREMIERE. We know, it's insane.

Awkward - Season 2 Ep 3 quick note

This rift between Jenna's parents does not please Ern at all. Their cuteness was part of the show's appeal. UGH.

Also, this episode was one of Leeard's favorite if only because of Matty's eyebrow raise at the end. She will continue to reblog every gif she sees of it.

Big Brother 14

IT'S BACK! So this season's format is actually kind of interesting. Last year's "twist" with the returning houseguests was kind of interesting (mainly because we missed Jeff and Jordan), but was gone pretty quickly. This season's twist will (presumably) last the entire summer, so that's more than we can usually hope for. One thing we really enjoy about the coach aspect is that there are some houseguests returning (including Leeard's all-time favorite player, Britney - more on that later), but they aren't competing. It's a nice compromise - we get to see them back in the house, but they won't win. Anyway, on to the teams:

Team Janelle - We are definitely glad to have Janelle back. She's one of the best competitors to ever play the game and we're excited to see her in action again.

• Ashley: Not sure what it is about out-spoken blondes, but Leeard is liking Ashley so far.
• Joe: He was pretty much a non-entity in the first episode, but he's a chef, so we hope for the other HG's sakes that he stays around for a bit. Someone needs to make slop tasty.
• Wil: He really grates one of us the wrong way. It's probably the hair. He was a good competitor in the HoH competition, so we'll see.

Team Dan - We caught the end of his season, but we didn't really like him. It doesn't help that he went with Team Boobs when selecting and lost the HoH competition (shocker). Not to offend anyone, but he seriously should've picked at least one guy. There are going to be numerous physical competitions throughout the summer, and guys help in that regard.

• Kara: She's cute, but she hasn't really done or said anything so far, other than that she wants to meet her husband in the house. Good luck with that.
• Danielle: Okay, her accent is precious and she reminds Leeard of one of her cousins, so we're rooting for her (for now).
• Jodi: She actually seemed pretty nice, but unfortunately she was evicted (by her coach) on Day 1. Oh well.

Team Mike Boogie - We didn't watch either of his seasons when they aired, but one of us has since seen them both on youtube. He's a really enjoyable player to watch (and the fact that he's a fan of our alma mater doesn't hurt).

• Frank: He didn't want Britney to pick him. Therefore he is dead to us.
• Ian: He reminds us of Matt from BB12 (for obvious reasons), but we're glad for the nerdiness. And we're glad he hasn't chosen to hide his "genius" from the rest of the house, like Matt did.
• Jenn: She looks really familiar to us. If anyone can figure out why, we'd greatly appreciate it. She seems pretty cool so far.

Team Britney - Leeard loves Britney. Like, almost in a weird way. Throughout the year, she'll text her (one) friend who also watches the show saying "I miss Britney". Not even necessarily in the summer. Leeard just misses her throughout the year. Anyway, when they said Britney's name, Leeard screamed. Obviously this is the team we're rooting for right now.

• JoJo: She's really bugging us so far. Hopefully she'll be the first gone from Britney's team.
• Shane: Well, at least the girls in the house (and audience) will have something to look at while he's on.
• Willie: When we heard that Russel's brother was going to be on this season, we were not excited. But Willie seems pretty normal.

So far, we're rooting for Willie, Danielle and Ashley. Probably Willie the most, because we want Britney to win too.

Pretty Little Liars - That Girl Is Poison

In a welcome-but-curious development, Jenna reveals that she can see just in time for her birthday, so she can throw a party with a Wonderland theme at the Brew. That’s the coffee shop where Toby lives. Nice one, Jenna. This prompts Toby to spend the night of the party at Spencer’s, making out with her. Good choice, bro. Aria is all about going to the party and giving Jenna a second chance (with ulterior motives). Hanna is depressed and (temporarily) unfashionable, since she’s bummed about Caleb leaving her. Ashley Marin uses the opportunity to coerce Hanna into working at a rummage sale. Ashley finds a man there. Woo hoo! He seems nice and normal…for now. It is this show, after all.

Since Maya is dead, Emily goes for second-choice Paige, asking her to go with her to the Katy Perry movie. But Emily has to cancel and also has to work at Jenna’s party as a waitress in a clip-on tie. That would have been a perfect opportunity for a scene where Paige gets a real tie and puts it on Emily, but the show did not seek to please its lesbian fans with what would have been a sweet, simple moment. Instead, the writers bring back Crazy Paige who acts a fool and makes herself completely undesirable. After Emily gives Paige the flask from which she was drinking the night she ended up in the graveyard, Paige ends up drunk and belligerent.

But hey, we still like her better than Maya. The scene where she freaked out on Jenna, broke things, and stuck her fingers in all the cupcakes was the highlight of the night. Honorable mention for the scene where Aria tricked her old photography teacher by ruining her equipment. Now Aria has a new job, as well as evidence against this season’s second Red Herring, Lucas. Good job, Aria. There’s some Ezra stuff where he buys Aria a new camera, is poor, and has a new job, blahblahblah, die Ezra. Why are you still on this show? STILL? Spencer is still acting crazy, stalking Garrett’s hospitalized and comatose mother for information. She finds a message hidden in the mother’s wristband. Garrett has been using his visitation to pass notes to someone else. The note says that the proof is with “April Rose.” Dun dun dunnnn. This was a transitory, normal episode with some fun moments. Not the best though.

Episode grade: B

The Glee Project - Fearlessness

Last week, Mario went home and we were happy about that. We didn’t feel the need for a post on the episode (okay, we were lazy). All Mario did was make excuses and act pretentious. Don’t worry Mario, we won’t remember you as the blind guy they allowed on The Glee Project. We will remember you as the a-hole they let on The Glee Project. Fearlessness is a great theme. Of course Aylin thinks that she’s already fearless bc she’s a flirtatious Muslim. Ugh. That annoyed even Ern. If Aylin mentions her bad-assness again, Ern will hate her as much as Leeard does, even though bragging doesn’t usually bother Ern. If you say it 100 times though, it’s gonna get to anyone. “I don’t know if Asians are supposed to rap well, but I don’t” – Abraham. Oh Abe, we both hate and love that quote.

Poor, awesome Jane Lynch has to be on this farce this week. At least it’s better than actually being on stupid Glee. She is one of the only mentors we’d actually want some one-on-one time with. She seems wise, down-to-earth, sweet, and experienced in show business and hard work. Naturally, after they got rid of all the black people, it’s time to rap! Ali did a shameless Nicki Minaj rip off. They had good energy and the singing sounded good, so this was way less painful than we had anticipated. Some of the guys really sucked at rapping though. We love that Lily beat Aylin. We love that Lily actually IS a bad ass for not whining about having to wear a swimsuit. Nellie, get some therapy. You’re gorgeous and talented.

Does anyone else think Nikki Ander is kind of a power-drunk bitch? Her facial expressions when the kids aren’t singing well are classic though, and we like how she’s honest. Aylin’s reaction to feeling slushie for the first time was funny, but no one liked it. We feel her on the goofing off when things get hard/uncomfortable. In karate, one of us used to try to make jokes while fighting people. Not recommended. You will get punched in the face mid-cackle. OH YEAH, show, throw slushies at the girl who can’t flippin’ walk! She can swim?!! That’s a surprise worthy of the applause she got. There’s no way Ali is going home this week. Darn. Lily sounded the best in the video and seemed like she was having a ton of fun. No way she’s going home either. We couldn’t take our eyes off her.

As usual, the judges picked a bottom three to sing for Ryan Murphy. We’re not feeling Abraham. He’s been boring lately, but he’s safe. We wanted Nellie in the bottom three again so that we could hear another incredible last-chance performance, but we didn’t want her to go home. Charlie is a huge mess and consistently impossible to work with. We felt for him the first time, but this is like the fifth. His persona last week was gag-worthy. Aylin was in the bottom three, and we are both pretty over her, so that’s fine. We like her positivity though. They made the right choices with the bottom three, but we were annoyed at this point that Nellie might get cut for not being Glee enough. LIKE WHEN THEY TOOK DANI.

Poor Aylin had to sing "Take a Bow", a song that was owned by Lea Michele in season one of Glee. The comparisons were inevitable, and Aylin didn’t come across well in light of them, even though the performance was on-key, well-belted, and okay. Ryan is like DON’T LAUGH AT THE SLUSHIE. Slushies are a serious bullying matter on the show! We realized then that Ryan is keeping Aylin. Because she is new and a game changer, because she is a Muslim. She’s a new ornament on Ryan’s multicultural, Very Special Christian tree. Ugh. Charlie was next. Charlie WAS determined to go out fighting. He sounded great, but he went for his crazy antics again which is why he is in the bottom three. We really didn’t know he could sing before.

Ryan complained that Charlie stands out too much, which is never his complaint. You have to stand out, yet be the same as the rest of the group (are you listening, Nellie?) Nellie’s insecurities don’t show in her awesome singing. For a show about high school, nerds, and bullying, you would think an insecure vibe would be welcome, but Ryan is concerned that she’s “not the show.” Zach’s face while she was singing…he was totally tearing up. Ryan’s was like Simon Cowell’s listening to Susan Boyle. Come on, guys! Thank GOD Charlie was sent home. He deserved to go home for his past behavior and multiple chances, not his performance. We liked his voice. Of course, Aylin and Charlie had to end their relationship of convenience/boredom/horniness with a kiss. Bleck.

Episode grade: B

Ern’s picks for round 2 of Twop’s Tubey Awards

• Best new show- Girls (honorable mention to Homeland)
• Best returning show- Breaking Bad (for the finale alone)
• Best drama- Breaking Bad (but almost picked Game of Thrones)
• Best almost-romantic-but-not-quite relationship- Nick Miller and Jess Day, New Girl (I wanted to pick like ten of these couples)
• Best non-romantic friendship- Abed and Troy, Community (definitely NOT Walter and Jesse, TWOP, but this was a hard category to pick from too)
• Best Family Relationship- George and Tessa, Suburgatory
• Best Guest Star- Carrie Preston, The Good Wife
• Best Musical Moment on a Scripted Show- Teach Me How to Understand Christmas, Community (I thought of this before even reading the categories)
• Best Musical Moment on a Reality Show- Lindsay Pavao’s “Say Aah” on The Voice
• Worst Reality TV Moment- Tyra Banks sucks Tyson Beckford's thumb in her Modelland reenactment (America's Next Top Model). So many of these choices were deserving, but I still have nightmares about that one.
• Favorite actor- Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad. The boy needs more recognition for playing such an unintelligent character so convincingly and so that he’s the heart of the show. He’s like the angry, criminal Forrest Gump. There needs to be a spin-off where Jesse hunts child killers (HM: Matt LeBlanc, Episodes)
• Favorite actress-  Claire Danes, Homeland “My Kingdom for a green pen!”
• Worst Crime Against Fashion- Kurt's midriff baring, one shoulder poncho sweater thing (Glee)
• Most egregious product placement- Disneyland (Modern Family)
• Most Unwelcome New Character- Rory, Glee. Hate to say it. Love you though, Damian.
• Most Welcome New Character- Jessica Tang (Southland). I bet Leeard picks J’aquen Hagar. Level of knowledge that I probably didn’t spell that right = 10/10. Level of interest = 0.
• Most Appalling Reality Star- All of them, but I gave it to Paris Hilton (The World According to Paris), because she wasn’t even entertaining enough to get viewers.
• Most Appealing Reality Star- Out of the choices they gave us, Phillip Phillips (American Idol). They didn’t give us much variety though.
• Worst single episode of a comedy- "Extraordinary Merry Christmas" (Glee). I couldn’t believe that episode.
• Worst Single Episode of a Drama- "This Is The Way The World Ends" (Dexter)
• Supporting Actor/Actress deserving of a starring role- Jewel Staite (The L.A. Complex and Firefly)
• Best Reality Smackdown- Nikki calls Lindsay out on having a fake emotional moment (The Glee Project)
• Most wrongfully underused character- Jaime Lannister (Game of Thrones). But, as someone who has read the first three books, I understand why.
• Most cringeworthy moment- Jim Bob Duggar tries to evangelize to an atheist Scottish street performer (19 Kids and Counting). I saw this on youtube. Sooooo awkward.
• Best on-screen death scene- Gus Fring (Breaking Bad) No freaking contest.
• Most Ludicrous Plotline- Kristina drove three hours to stop her niece of legal age from having consensual sex with an unwed city council candidate (Parenthood). I picked this, because I was the angriest about it. But everything on that list was also valid, especially Sue’s pregnancy.
• Worst Payoff- Mona is A, or is she? (Pretty Little Liars) Sorry, I hated it. The whole reveal, Mona’s acting, the fact that people associated with the show TOLD US it wasn’t going to be Mona, and how predictable it was.

Also, I'm one season through Supernatural. So far, it's cheesy, but everyone assures me it gets better. I liked the finale. I know lots of y'all have been wanting one of us to get into this show for a long time. Dean > Sam.

Bunheads - Better Luck Next Year

We both thought Bunheads was weird this week, in that it felt really disjointed and choppy. There were good individual scenes, particularly the dream sequence where we got to see Sutton Foster do her musical theater thing, but things didn’t flow. The show made the obvious Game of Thrones reference, since the visiting ballet studio was called “Joffrey.” We usually appreciate Game of Thrones being relevant to EVERYTHING, but Bunheads totally spoiled season one! Way to go. Michelle has some balls, trying to seduce all those handymen, but we like that Fanny was the one who got the job done. We liked the floor guy. He seemed sweet. Fanny should get some of that action. We are starting to enjoy Truly on this show. It was funny how she’s such a spineless jellyfish (always going with the majority) and is an expert on what other people need. The joke we liked the best was when Michelle muttered about David Copperfield being a top-notch magician.

It was so sad and stupid of Boo’s mom to leave that cake in the fridge. Sasha showed her nice side again though, which we appreciate. A huge weakness of the episode was that the other two dancers weren’t in it at all. We want to see more of the dancing girls, show. We also need to see some sort of structure emerge. There was so much meandering with all Michelle's stuff, curtain rods, faxes, and weird little arguments. Can Michelle teach at the studio already?!! The high points of this episode mostly involved Boo or Michelle/Fanny talking about Boo. Probably our favorite part was when Fanny kept sending Boo back in wigs so that the audition people would see Boo and her dancing, and not her larger bottom half. It was a sweet moment. Overall, this episode was less boring than last week’s and less forced than the week before, but still not what we want to see from this show.

Episode grade: B

True Blood - Let’s Boot and Rally

Oh, that first scene, God love it. Nobody was expecting Sookie’s first sexual encounter with Alcide to involve vomit. It was his own fault for saying something as weak as, “I’ve waited so long for this.” We were like, “Um, yeah, us too, and you two are ruining it by being drunk.” Of course Eric would interrupt it with a one-liner and some trespassing. We liked this scene due to the pure unpredictability and hilarity. Like we said last week, we already had super romantic and gushy with both Bill and Eric (and Eric and Eric and Eric. They boned for like a zillion episodes). Alcide is just a fun bang for Sook. Sookie’s reaction to her situation (“Must be Thursday! Onwards into the jaws of death! Boot and rally”) was funny. We are starting to like Sookie this season. She’s losing it, and it’s about time she had the good lines.

Lafayette decides to call on God, and he does so while looking at a bunch of idols/porcelain figures and waiving sage around. Yeah, the Old Testament Christian God is all about statues. Hilariously, Lafayette says, “I’m good enough. Better than most. So cut me a break.” Um, a former prostitute and druggie is “better than most”? Doubtful. Even if he had a squeaky clean past, it’s doubtful. Lafayette means well and loves his family/friends, but doesn’t everyone? That’s the thing: Everyone thinks they are better than lots of other people. Everyone. But nobody is really better. Until you had the upbringing, past, and psychological material of the exact person you think you’re better than, you don’t know if you would actually make better choices. Why would True Blood show us Jesus’ head like that? It’s bad enough that we miss him. He was the only boyfriend of Lafayette’s we’ve ever liked. Not that he’s had many, but still.

Anyway, we got to see Jason’s parents in a creepy dream. They didn’t look like we’d imagined. They were less attractive. Arlene isn’t so awful this season. We still prefer the actress on The Good Wife. It’s been forever since we’ve seen Tara look attractive. We don’t like the way Rutina Wesley was playing New Vampire Tara in this episode, but we do like Pam getting to slam Tara down every time she has attitude. This is the best thing that could ever have happened to Tara. DOES EVERYONE ON THIS SHOW HAVE TO WHISPER when conversing seriously? No one whispers in real life. We’ve mentioned this before, because it’s one of our pet peeves, and this show is one of the biggest culprits. The Vampire Diaries is the only show that’s allowed to do that.

Holy Ifrit, Terry, no wonder you are traumatized and crazy from war. Obviously, he did the wrong thing, but that’s a tough situation with lots of pressure. There are so many storylines and characters on this show, and we only really care about a few. Right now, we are interested in seeing Sookie and Jessica, but that’s it. Sure, things change from time-to-time, but watching Jason and Andy frolic around being cops and talking about fairies is trying our patience. A storyline for Sam is really happening now, and while we hate him less than lots of people on this show, we’re not anxious for his conflicts with the pact/shifters to start taking up more time. The more time taken up for collateral matters, the less time we get to watch A-plot. This show is all B-plot. Glad to see Luna go though.

Jessica being sweet to Tara was adorable. We’re so glad Tara responded like a nice person. That made us like her for the duration of that scene. If Jessica can convince Tara to love life as a vampire, instead of just sulking, Jessica will be even more awesome than she already is. Then Hoyt shows up, looking ridiculous. We were really bummed when he and Jessica broke up, because they were so cute in their mindless puppy love. Even better than seeing Jessica and Tara almost turn into friends was seeing Jessica rip Tara off of Hoyt. Don’t toy with us, True Blood. We want that pairing back.

Episode grade: B-

Weeds - A Beam of Sunshine

Ouch, those health care bills looked painful. Nancy’s gonna have to deal a lot of weed. This show is obviously pumping how messed-up health care is in the U.S. We are sick of her being a crazy invalid. The doctors need to fix her quick. Nancy’s having a crisis of conscience?!! What?!! Like that’s gonna last…right? We don’t know. She seems sincere about this second chance stuff. Since we’ve lost all sympathy for her (and everyone else on this show) as a person, we don’t care. You have to admire Nancy for being able to confront the clown guy who threatened her, even when she can hardly walk and talking puts her out of breath.

Does Silas have more Mommy issues this season, or is he just having fun having someone else be his bitch for a change? The best character, Andy, is sidelined with that stupid sister we hate. Good on you, Shane, for finding Peter. Good on you. In other news, Doug is still on this show. And he’s still being lecherous. At this point, we are only watching Weeds because it’s only half an hour and we want to see how it all ends. We don’t want to read about it. After all these years, we want to actually see it. Maybe. Unless every episode of season eight is this dull.

Episode grade: C-

Hunger Games fans: Hunter Parrish as Finnick O'Dair? Yea or Nay?

Louie - Telling Jokes/Set Up

Louie’s youngest daughter is so unintentionally mean to him, haha. She’s so cute though. I love when kids’ jokes make no sense. It’s much better than the ones that DO make sense. We’ve heard Louie talk about his daughters’ jokes on talk shows before, but it’s about time he put that on his own show for people who don’t stay up late enough to watch him get interviewed. Both those little girls do excellent jobs in these roles. We liked the routine of the comedian Louie ate with in this episode. His joke about not having kids was pretty good. Man, stand up must be so hard to do. Louie, why do you still have a motorcycle? Ugh. Those things are fun, but they aren’t for people with kids. Lori was significantly older than the women Louie usually dates, because God forbid a middle-aged man on TV be with a woman his age. Did you see Louie’s friend’s wife? Jeez Louise, she’s hotter than this blogger and he’s 50!

The awkwardness/debate that followed the spontaneous date wasn’t super funny, but it was thoughtful. Well, as thoughtful as something about that topic could be. The woman was technically right, but we were on Louie’s side. It’s hard to do that in a car like that, randomly. She pretty much forced that situation on him. Best line: “Where are the gentlemen?” Oh dear… Louie meets the craziest sluts. Good job, Melissa Leo. We will say one thing for this storyline: we didn’t expect it to go there or end up like that. This wasn’t the best episode of Louie, but it had its moments. We like the way the show gives us two storylines and one is usually sweet (like with his girls) but then the other one is usually super weird.

Episode grade: B

Awkward - Sex, Lies, and the Sanctuary

While you (well, most of you) are young, you may think you have a ton of secrets. Maybe you have one or two BIG ones that your parents would skewer you for if you found out. But you’ll get more as you get older, so we think it’s good to just learn to lay them out and face them now. Why? Because they will all come out eventually, and rather than live in fear of that possibility, it’s nice to take control and ride those secrets to the ground like they’re your bitch. 

We were hoping both Jenna and her mom would come clean by the end of the episode, but they are going to drag out the Matty secret indefinitely, aren’t they? We liked that Jenna was being so icy to her mom. Of course we have to wait a week to see Kevin’s reaction to the letter. The funniest thing this week was Becca the Asian.

Questions/Debate: Do you guys like Val, the guidance counselor vice principal, or do you think she’s annoying and cartoonish? We like her, especially when she's a smaller part of an episode. Matty is being sweet this season. This episode even melted Ern’s hatred of him a little. What’s so offensive about Matty is that he’s terrible to sleep with AND THEN he wouldn’t acknowledge Jenna. It’s like…what good are you then? Well, he's cuter. We guess Jenna enjoyed the fling because she was in love with him. But Jake has been nothing short of perfect during the show's run. 

Jake is more self-assured and nicer than any high school boy should believably be, but this blogger prefers that consistency to Matty's hot-and-cold jellyfishness. We loved the end where Jenna told Jake that she wasn’t in love with “the other guy” anymore. This show can be really nice. We feel like, since Jenna is with Jake now, that Matty is endgame. Like Aidan and Mr. Big. Ugh. Still, this show has improved since it started and season two isn’t dragging anything down.

Episode grade: A

PS - Yes, jellyfishness is a word. Because it should be. 

The Amazing Spider Man

The question everyone is asking: Did we really need a reboot of this? Not really, especially since this movie is almost exactly like the 2002 movie, plotwise. It’s like the people who made this movie watched the 2002 one and said, “I want to make this exact movie, only I want to cast, write, and film it better, fixing all the annoying mistakes.” It’s the same story. We’re not really complaining about that, but we see why a lot of other people are.

But movie is better than the one ten years ago because of the leads. They look and act like real teenagers. Andrew Garfield is older than Tobey was when he played Peter Parker, but we feel like he looks 17. Andrew has the angst, awkwardness, arrogance, humor, and sweetness to sell a teenage, imperfect Spiderman. We understand why this kid is too annoying to be popular, even though he’s cute, and yet we like him anyway. 

Emma Stone is Emma Stone, and for that we should all be grateful. She’s smarter and funnier than Dunst’s Mary Jane. In short, these kids can really act. We didn’t like the new Uncle Ben (he kind of annoyed us with his preaching), but Sally Field’s Aunt Mae was a nice change. We also liked Dennis Leary as Gwen’s father. If we are going to have more Spiderman movies, it was good to put Peter back in high school rather than continue with the douche adult Tobey’s Peter turned into. 

We liked the new source of Peter’s webbing, because it’s true to the comics. The emotion felt more real and the action scenes were better, due to technology. We liked that this movie was a little darker and more intense than the 2002 one. The humor was a little more our style. The movie might have been a little too long, but there were some knockout scenes that kept the pacing rolling along fine. In short, it loses points for originality, but boy are Emma and Andrew fun to watch.

Movie grade: B 

Happy Fourth of July!

Since we are Americans, we will be taking a break today to celebrate our own awesomeness.

In other news, Ern has stated to Leeard that for every episode of Breaking Bad Leeard watches, Ern will watch two episodes of Castle. Do y'all think that's a good deal?

Leeard's picks for the TWoP Tubey Awards

Obviously we have very different opinions, though there are more overlaps than we expected. Here are my (correct) choices:

Best Comedy - Community

Most Underrated Show - House of Lies

Most Overrated Show - NCIS

Best Reality Show Host or Judge - Cat Deeley, So You Think You Can Dance. No question about that one.

Worst Reality Show Host or Judge - Christina Milian, The Voice. Maybe not the "worst", just the most useless.

Most Painful Series Cancellation - The Secret Circle. Honestly, I'm still crying about The Chicago Code being unjustly cancelled last year, so it's hard to pick this time around.

Best Season Finale - Castle. I was going to pick TVD, but since Ern already did, I decided to show Castle some love.

Worst Season Finale - How I Met Your Mother

Most Anticipated New Show of the 2012-2013 Season - The Mob Doctor

Worst New Show - Betty White's Off Their Rockers

Worst Returning Show - NCIS

Best Badass - Arya Stark, Game of Thrones

Best Performance by an Inanimate Object - The Jenna List, Awkward.

New Series with the Most Wasted Potential - Terra Nova (though we both agree that Awake should be on that list)

Most Improved Show - 30 Rock

Most Disappointing Season of a Previously Awesome Show - Bones

Favorite Character - Hanna, Pretty Little Liars

Least Favorite Character - Byron, Pretty Little Liars

Best Scene-stealing Supporting Character - Shoshanna, Girls

Best Cancelled 2011-2012 Show - Prime Suspect

Best Late Night Talk Show - The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Favorite Animated Show - Phineas & Ferb

Best Competitive Reality Show - So You Think You Can Dance (though every year, I agonize over whether to pick SYTYCD or Big Brother)

Best Candid Reality Show - Storage Wars

Worst Candid Reality Show - H8R

Most Annoying Teenage Character - Charlotte, Revenge

Ern's picks for TWOP's Tubey Awards

Leeard's picks will surely differ from mine...

Best Comedy - Parks and Recreation

Most Underrated Show - Louie

Most Overrated Show - How I Met Your Mother

Best Reality Show Host or Judge - Zach Woodlee, The Glee Project

Worst Reality Show Host or Judge - Randy Jackson, American Idol

Most Painful Series Cancellation - The Secret Circle

Best Season Finale - The Vampire Diaries

Worst Season Finale - Dexter

Most Anticipated New Show of the 2012-2013 Season - Revolution

Worst New Show - Work It

Worst Returning Show - The Office

Best Badass - Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thrones (honorable mention to Ron Swanson)

Best Performance by an Inanimate Object - Big Carl the Wine Glass, Cougar Town

New Series with the Most Wasted Potential - Alcatraz (because Awake wasn’t one of the options)

Most Improved Show - New Girl

Most Disappointing Season of a Previously Awesome Show - The Walking Dead

Favorite Character - Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad

Least Favorite Character - Ezra, Pretty Little Liars

Best Scene-stealing Supporting Character - Shoshana, Girls

Best Cancelled 2011-2012 Show - Prime Suspect

Best Late Night Talk Show - The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Favorite Animated Show - South Park

Best Competitive Reality Show - The Voice

Best Candid Reality Show - Dance Moms

Worst Candid Reality Show - H8R

Most Annoying Teenage Character - Declan, Revenge (I’d have picked Joffrey, but he’s more than annoying. He’s the worst.)

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

The tragedy of this movie is not the plot where the world is ending, but the fact that it really could have been a good movie. It had some moments that reached for comedic and existential greatness, but then those moments were just completely dropped in favor of a boy-meets-girl, cliché, run-of-the-mill movie that’s so sadly reflective of our time and society that it was like a parody of itself (and our movies). Here’s what I mean: In our culture, we have no higher power and really no purpose besides pleasure. But one higher power remains: the concept of romantic love. If we find this great love that is always good, forever, until we die, then our lives have meaning. It is the ultimate hope, the ultimate truth, and the reason we keep living. Everything is alright if we end up with the right person. Barring that, we should hook up as much as possible because one day we will die anyway (maybe today), and we should gather up all the love possibilities we can. Every song on the radio is about love. Almost every movie has a romantic subplot. The bestselling books are romance.

If we don’t have someone, we are rushing to find someone, wallowing in our loneliness. If we DO have someone, what are we if we are not single and free to find someone else (our truer love)? The story is over and we’re bored. There’s no contentment on either side, because we’ve built romantic love up to be this thing that can save us and make us feel whole. And guess what? It doesn’t. It’s just not big enough. Modernity is obsessed. And you think, “Well, how else is it supposed to be?” Believe it or not, there were cultures that weren’t as driven to find romance. There are cultures that didn’t value it enough. What we’re saying is that just about everything should be in moderation.

So along comes this movie. It’s a movie about what people are doing when they know the world is going to be hit by an asteroid and end in three weeks. The first thirty minutes or so of the movie are brilliant. The humor is dark and rings true. It’s so different from your usual comedy. It’s peering into the abyss and grasping for answers while making us laugh at the same time. We see Connie freaking Britton (Friday Night Lights, American Horror Story). Britta from Community is a bright spot in the movie’s middle, by the way. The movie reflects on the pointlessness of some jobs at the end. You know, if the world were ending, artists would become the most important workers on the planet. You’d want to see a beautiful concert before you died. You wouldn’t need the guy selling insurance.

Some people live in denial that the world is ending, going about their days, like lots of people facing death or its possibility. Some people start partying, getting high, and hooking up. Some people reconnect with their families. Some people (realistically) start rioting and stealing. Some people build a bomb shelter, thinking they can still make it. Some people just end it all early, crazed with lack of purpose. Some of the people in the movie just try to make the best of things, like the two main characters in this movie. But then they fall in love. WHAT?!?! Suffice it to say, we really didn’t like the ending. The movie backed away from the dark humor and hard question and slapped Hallmark Card love onto the ending. Does everything have to be about that? Even a movie about the end of the freaking world?

While the movie started out with black humor, it got slow and sappy in the middle and then, for the most part, it stayed there. It gets worse as it goes along. Also, Steve Carell and Keira Knightly had little chemistry and didn’t make a believable couple. Don’t cry "spoiler" at us for telling you they get together. Have you seen movies before? Also, the movie is super predictable. Now, if it had continued to examine the meaninglessness of life in a funny way, like Fight Club, it would have veered away from formula and achieved greatness. The acting in this movie was good. Keira Knightley doesn’t get enough credit for being able to act. We didn’t like her character at first because she was a) the cliché manic pixie dream girl and b) really stupid in the brain. Why are innocent, naïve, dumb women sexy to people? Wait, don’t answer that. We know. We just don’t have to like it.

Anyway. This one started out interesting and then turned into sludge on us. No one we went with liked the movie and just about everyone was bored. It was just another rom-com and an ineffective one at that.

Movie grade: C-

True Blood - We'll Meet Again

The episode starts. We think, “Man, this episode had better be worth it. A whole hour’s break is quite the sacrifice.” The show needed to start moving forward and changing the game. Did it happen? Either read on or just skip to the last paragraph, haha. Tara was so nasty coming out of the tanning bed. Pam, just let her die! Sookie is having a crisis of conscience and wants to start remembering Gran’s teachings and do the right thing. 

Man, it’s about two seasons too late for that, Sookie. Your character has really lost her way, morally. But hey! She turns herself into the police: Jason. Predictably, Jason doesn’t arrest Sookie. Way to leave your sister in the lurch, Eric. Nora is still screaming and Eric is back. God, Pam’s body is sick. She’s 45. We know it’s an actress’ job to stay thin, but damn. Eric thinks that Pam dug up Russell and doesn’t trust her. Pam is hurt and we feel for her, mostly because we know how loyal she is to Eric. And we love her. We can’t believe Andy excused the judge’s son’s ticket! Just when we were starting to like him a little…

Sookie is getting judged hard for what she did to Tara, but Alcide is the one taking all the heat for what happened to Debbie. Tara’s right, there will always be someone willing to take a bullet for Sookie, even if it’s her car. Demon Lafayette is after her, and we love that development, because at least it’s something interesting. We got to see a little of what happened to Terry in Iraq, and so far, it's not nearly disturbing enough. Sookie is becoming an alcoholic, which is JUST what this show needs. Jessica is officially our favorite character, which is crazy, because when she first showed up, we wanted her gone. Way to do something useful, girl. She brainwashed Andy into closing the Debbie Pelt case. 

We like seeing Pam's maternal side toward Tara and Eric's fatherly side toward Pam. Releasing her was one of maybe ten kind things Eric has ever done on this show. We can't wait to see Pam be her own boss now. Bill reveals that he's proud of Jessica (or at least the work he's done with her). Nora finally cracks, telling the Authorities the identity of that leader of that extremist group trying to bring them down. Fortunately, she secures Salome's blood oath to spare Eric and Bill. Meanwhile, Sookie continues to fall apart without her two men. It's pretty funny. Ern likes to change song lyrics while singing along too. Then Alcide showed up. Yesssssssssssss. 

The Little Boy authority member meets the true death when a video surfaces of him feeding on humans. He's really dead, because he turned into sludge. That's the new rule for this show: if they aren't sludge, they are coming back. We actually felt bad for Tara when Pam made her kill a woman. That's devastating. Jason, Andy, and the Judge get taken to a Moulin-Rouge-y dance club by fairies. Okay. Jason is going to be Harry Potter now, since he finds out that vampires killed his parents. Okay. The Terry quest is getting interesting. Please let the Terry thing involve zombies, show. Sam's old shifter friends turn up dead.

Alcide and Sookie. FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY. We actually didn't think this was ever going to happen. We knew Eric/Sookie would happen, but this was more surprising, so it was more satisfying than that hookup. But where was our gratuitous sex scene? The one time we want it, show, and you deprive us? Ugh. To make things juicier, Bill and Eric get to see it through a window, and Bill decides to use Sookie as bait for Alcide. Things just got real. We don't know where things are going from here, but at least now we care. 

Episode grade: B+

Weeds - Messy

The shooter is revealed! And while it’s surprising, we don’t really like it. We loved hearing the original Little Boxes theme at the beginning of the show, but we also hated having to wait so long for the episode to start. The season ended on quite the cliffhanger, what with Nancy getting shot in the head by an unknown sniper. Thank GOD we didn’t have to wait longer than one episode to know the shooter’s identity. It’s DEA Agent Peter Scottson’s son, Tim. When we first saw his face, we were all, “Who?”, but the show did a flashback and let us know that it was the little karate kid all grown up. Shane bit him, remember? We had hoped the shooter would be someone that we actually wanted to see on the show again, like Celia or Esteban back from the dead.

The season is starting out alright. It wasn’t laugh-out-loud funny or clever like this show was back in its best days (seasons one and two), but we liked the scene with the rabbi and hope that character sticks around. The Rabbi Dave scene was the best scene in the episode. The rabbi seems pretty tolerant of other faiths and it's afraid to throw out an f-bomb for a joke. That strikes us as just real, rather than hypocritical. We liked Andy’s assertion that believing in God doesn’t just bring comfort, because God has all his own kind of scary. 

We also like Jill’s daughters and little Stevie. Bringing new, younger, cuter kids to this crazy show is a good idea. Can Jill die and Nancy just adopt all of them? Jill isn’t funny. So yeah, Nancy lived. Tim Scottson isn’t a great shot. The bullet just hit the top. Nancy was annoying in the ambulance, but she’s shut up now. Let’s hope the season has somewhere to go so that the show goes out on a high note.

Episode grade: B-