Community- Season 4, Episode 1

By Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America (Joel McHale  Uploaded by maybeMaybeMaybe) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

History 101- After roughly FOREVER, Community was on our TV's Thursday night. But was it the real Community, or did Dan Harmon's exist doom it to becoming something like The Big Bang Theory? The show instantly mocked that possibility by having Abed go to his "happy place," a CBS-like sitcom in his head, complete with a laugh track. He had replaced Pierce with Fred Willard too! (Riffing on the offstage drama between Chevy Chase and the showrunners.) We thought that should have been dropped after the first scene though.

Community up in ratings from last year; Do No Harm cancelled after two episodes

We heard it wasn't great, but sheesh. We didn't even get a chance to watch Do No Harm. Only two episodes were broadcast.

Parks and Recreation- Season 5, Episodes 10-12

Well, we guess we have to admit that this show is going the way of The Office. Four great seasons was a good run (meh, it's actually three; season one was bad too). No, wait, we shouldn't say that. It's still yards better than The Office was in the last couple of years. It was turning in C and D episodes.

This season of Parks and Rec is giving us a bunch of B and B- grades, and in previous years it was all As and B+s. (The Office isn't as bad as usual this year. We'd give it B and B- grades were we reviewing it, which we are not, due to laziness.) Onto the specifics of the episodes since the hiatus.

Two Parties- This is the one where the girls had a lame bachelorette party because of Leslie's obsession with the lot and the boys had the time of their lives because Ben is so easygoing. There's a lesson in there somewhere... Maybe all parties should just start off with beer and boardgames? We'd be so down. We loved Tom's latest stupid bar. Yes, there is a wrong way to drink, but it usually involves tampons. Good cameos in this one too. Why do politicians love being on this show so much?

Pretty Little Liars- Season 3, Episode 18

Dead to Me- Jason spends the episode putting Alison's body in a mausoleum and getting the Liars to come for the burial. Again. Spencer doesn't want to go, but she ends up crashing in order to angrily tell Jason about both Wilden and the pregnancy, even though neither are 100% confirmed. The other Liars are miffed. Spencer is taking her grief and anger out on everyone. She sees the Toby's mom's tomb and scratches "TOBY" on it with the A key. We kind of loved that.

Spencer also continues to work with the PI. She tracks down another A lair, but it's abandoned. This is the final straw for Spencer, who hoped to find Toby (and an explanation) still in the lair. We're glad the show isn't just ditching Spencer's downward spiral. It continues, and she is crazier than ever. It might be the most interesting thing this show has ever done with a character. Also, it didn't come out of nowhere (like Mona's insanity). Spencer has always been paranoid, tightly wound, passionate, and a tad unstable. Good job, show.

Emily gets hypnotherapy, but her wacky brain (or Doctor Anne) confuses her into thinking she killed Ali. Eventually, Emily remembers what really happened. The night she was roofied, she reluctantly helped someone on the A team and someone else in a red jacket dig up Ali's body. Interesting. We also find out that Paige wasn't cheating on Emily. She was trying to get information on A. Nothing was found; no one was surprised.

Hanna and Caleb go to his aunt's house to go through some old stuff. The aunt was the one who put Caleb in the foster care system, so we hate her and we're glad she's dead (she's dead, right?). They see Caleb's uncle, who was nice to Caleb when he was five. Hanna quickly figures out that the uncle is really Caleb's dad, and we figured it out even sooner than that. Caleb is in denial. We think it's really sweet, but there needs to be a good explanation why the dad didn't come through for Caleb when he needed him.

Aria is spending the time during Fish Face's absence getting to know his little brother, who is less fish-faced. We approve. Wesley tells Aria that he slept with a teacher, and Aria actually judges him for it, calling the idea "stupid." Is she kidding? Wesley doesn't want to be controlled by his parents and admires both Aria and Ezra for being unpredictable and taking hold of their own lives. No word from Ezra. We hope he stays gone, but who are we kidding? He'll be back and they will probably stay together forever. We've seen TV before. We know an endgame couple when we see one.

Episode grade: B

Being Human- Season 3, Episodes 1-4

By Tony Shek (Being Human Cast) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Finally, this show is back. We forget about it when it's gone (whereas we pine for Girls, Game of Thrones, and Breaking Bad almost daily), but once we realize it's back, we get pretty excited. The showrunners promised that this show would have more levity this season, and we're surely ready for that. Last season was almost too dark. There were many beard jokes, so we're hopeful. The cliffhangers last season were really rotten. We couldn't wait to find out what happens to the characters.

Girls- Season 2, Episode 4

Due to the superbowl, The Good Wife, Once Upon a Time, AND Shameless weren't on last night, so Girls is the only show we had to watch. Game of Thrones, come save our Sundays, pleeeease.

It's A Shame About Ray- This episode has the same title as the season premiere of Being Human, and it's kind of an obscure title, so is it a reference? There's nothing really in the Girls episode that references that show, vampires, or werewolves, or anything. Maybe Lena just likes the show and wants to give it a shout-out? It's probably just a Lemonheads reference.

The Americans- Season 1, Episode 1

Pilot- FX is trying to do what AMC has been doing for years with Mad Men: have a good original period drama. We tend to think the FX shows aren't as gripping as the AMC shows, even though they are technically good.

Pretty Little Liars- Season 3, Episode 17

own episode for $2 here ^

Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Inferno- We loved the opening sequence, Spencer's dream. It was sexy, creepy, sad, and full of shirtless Toby. Spencer has been staying away from her friends. We wouldn't be rushing to tell our best friends that we had such a serious lapse in judgment and choice of boyfriend either. It's not just devastating; it's embarrassing. Also, telling her friends makes it feel more real. Spencer would crack if it were any more real.

Emily's mom brings her a package from Nate's family. They sent it as an apology for the stalking and kidnapping. It's full of cards and things that Emily gave to Ali. Nate probably got it from Maya. We cut to Hanna's house and finally see Ashley Marin! We've missed her. Hanna's mom is sniffing around, asking questions, and wondering if "it" is happening again. It IS, Ashley! Get on that. Hanna tells her mom that Caleb is already interfering too much, and she doesn't need more help.

Big News- How I Met Your Mother

The show has been renewed for a ninth and final season, which means we will finally meet the mother.

Bunheads- Season 1, Episodes 13-14

I'll Be Your Meyer Lansky- This is the episode where Fanny and Michelle tried to get advice from a financial planner, and they drove him crazy. The good thing about this episode is that, although it featured Fanny, she wasn't annoying at all. In fact, since the hiatus, Fanny has been a lot more tolerable. Dare we say, even, likable? In small doses, Fanny is fine. Every other episode with her works for us.

We love that Godot is smart. If the younger guy is smarter than the older woman, it can work. Melanie was awesome with the violence this week. In real life, she would be psycho and cruel, but on TV, it's great. We should get to see Cozette dance more. In fact, more dancing from everyone, please. We got a good dance at the end of this one, which highlighted Sasha's emotional turmoil. Her mother is an idiot who shouldn't be a mother.

Episode grade: B+

The Astronaut and the Ballerina- It's hard to believe that there is a dance studio of any quality in this small town, let alone roller derby. Some NORMAL towns don't even have roller derby. We'll let it slide. What we won't let slide, however, is how annoying everyone was this week. The manic rants were at 100% this week. It was scene after scene after scene of loudness, monologues, and hammy acting.

The show needs to have about four manic scenes per episode, with quieter ones in between. It just needs to tone things down. You can't write every character like she's Lorelai Gilmore. Not loving Jordan as a character or Boo freaking out. They both seem unrealistic to the point that we're pulled out of the world of the show. We didn't like Michelle's brother at all. He wasn't funny. It was the actress's actual brother though. The actor wasn't bad. We blame the writing.

We heard a lot about their mother. Is she going to show up at some point? Probably. One of the freak-outs we liked was Ginny's mother, Claire, pouring punch on the bridal party and obsessing over her ex husband's wedding. Everything about that, down to the stalking, was pretty hilarious. Ginny needs to chill though, for real.

Episode grade: C+

The Good Wife- Season 4, episodes 11-13

Boom-De-Yah-Da- This was the episode where Louis Canning made Alicia stay at a hotel for a really long time and tried to have his client avoid her. The case was the one where the teen girl got bit by a mosquito. TR Knight showed up for the first time that week. Where has he been? We love him. Not loving his character so far though. He reminds us of Ryan on The Office. Total wunderkind douche.

Girls- Season 2, Episode 3

Bad Friend- The episode starts with Hannah trying to get a freelance writing gig with a website. Her new boss wants her to do a threesome with people she meets on Craigslist. Or coke. And write about it. Heck, we'd read that article. Especially the threesome thing. Jessa is having a yard sale on her front stoop.

Marnie suggests that Hannah visit her downstairs, drug addict neighbor to get some coke for her article. Marnie is the worst friend on TV, ever. She doesn't even try to talk Hannah out of this. She probably thinks that if Hannah dies, she'll never find out about Marnie's two thrusts with Hanna's gay roommate.  Hannah knocks on her neighbor's door. He seems nice, but he's wearing some Rastafarian-looking beanie, something you probably shouldn't do after college, if you're a guy and not a hipster. He mentions that he liked when Hannah named her wireless network "Madame Ovaries." Heh.

Glee- Season four, episode 11

Sadie Hawkins- The midseason premiere was the dullest thing. Glee always makes a bigger deal of things than it should. A Sadie Hawkins dance is hardly a symbol for female empowerment in 2013 when asking out guys isn't as uncommon as it was when those dances were first invented. Also, girls like to be pursued and guys like to do the pursuing. Don't scream "gender stereotyping" at us. We usually hate that stuff, but when it comes to courting and mating, there are real differences between the sexes. Rebelling against the romance games because they are sexist is like rebelling against the sky for being blue: well intentioned (the sky would look so much better if it were purple), but pointless.

The Vampire Diaries- Season 4, Episode 11

Catch Me If You Can- We were going to double up on this show for next week, but a commenter wanted this week's post now. More proof of how much comments affect us, haha. The episode opens in the bar full of dead people. Klaus tells Jeremy to kill them before they all kill Matt, which he is going to compel them to do. Jeremy kills one as he and Matt run to the lake house, and Elena saves Matt from another. Damon also helps. The vampires can't get into the house, they are safe for now.

Ern Reads Every Stephen King Book Post 4: Rage

Yes, I'm still doing this. I just got stuck on this one. You see, it's a hard book to GET. Also, I feel guilty for reading it, because I don't think King would approve.

Girls renewed. Don't Trust the B, Ben and Kate yanked

Rejoice and grieve.

American Horror Story- Season 2, Episodes 11-13

These episodes sped things up. The two before the finale felt a little all over the place in comparison with the detailed, slower season we've been used too. Episode 11 spans seven months, and it seemed like the 12th season took up a decade. The finale brought us to the present day.

Parenthood- Season 4, episodes 13-15

Parenthood season four has ended. Too short, right? We guess the show got through everything though. We hope there's a season five, if only to give Sarah some semblance of a future, but if there isn't, most things ended pretty well. Let's go through the characters' doings in the last three episodes.

Drew and Amy- We knew Amy was pregnant way before the show told us, and we think everyone else did too. We also think, in reality, that Drew would have told his mom what he was stressed about when she came into his room to check on him. Kids WANT their parents to ask about what's really bothering them. Maybe they will act out or sulk to get their parents to notice. They don't always know how to approach parents with problems. We think Drew would have cracked.

Pretty LIttle Liars- Season 3, Episode 16

Misery Loves Company- This was a big one. The end of Spoby, Meredith losing it epically, and answers about Byron. But let's back up. Aria is sick on the couch, looking "terrible" in Spencer's opinion. She just doesn't have any pink makeup on. The staff at PLL has been generous with the foundation, trying to make her look pale and shiny. It doesn't work at all, because she's still gorgeous. When we normal people are sick, we're splotchy, our hair sticks up everywhere, there are little crusty things under our noses, we have a giant onesie on, and our eyes look like dead marbles. Ultra-terrible.

The Following- Season 1, Episode 1

Pilot- Thoughts for people who HAVE seen this are after the jump. This first part is spoiler free though.

This show is about a retired FBI agent who is called back to look for an escaped serial killer. The criminal is a former English professor who killed a bunch of his students. Worst professor ever, right?  Also, he has a bunch of crazy followers who are willing to do insane things for him. The killer is obsessed with Poe, and we think it would have been more interesting if the killer were obsessed with multiple writers and ideas.

Ten minutes in, we already knew we loved this pilot. It was fast-paced and we cared pretty quickly. We didn't really want to watch this show because it had a boring name, but then we heard that LOST actress Maggie Grace was in it, and we think she picks good things.

Also, of course, Kevin Bacon, who is great in this. We spotted Rome and Justified veterans too. Once we found out the reason this show is called "The Following," we liked the name.

Yeah, there are a lot of cliches, like the damaged hero and the genius killer, but those are traditions because they work. Even with those staples, this show doesn't feel tired. The killer's cult is what separates this villain from Hannibal Lecter, although Hannibal was a lot more charming. This guy is too loud, talkative, and in-your-face arrogant.

We don't know if they picked the right actor to play the killer. The casting of James Purefoy might be our only complaint. He's good looking, as he should be, but he should also be more charismatic and terrifying.

The show is not afraid to be gruesome and very dark. Of course, this is the network that brought us the disgusting first season of Fringe, so we shouldn't be surprised. (We have GOT to watch that finale, by the way. We're the worst.) It's also pretty creepy. Even the flashbacks are creepy. Don't bother with this show if you can't stand violence.

We can see quickly that this will be a crowd pleaser rather than critic bait, kind of like 24 was. We can tell this show is dangling itself in front of an audience that isn't familiar with Poe or really can't process a remotely deep analysis of his work. A baddie literally writes NEVERMORE on a wall, in blood. THUNK. Der. We like when TV assumes its audience is smart and well-read, like LOST did. Still, we were highly entertained through the entire hour. If the show can keep up this level of quality, it will be one of our favorite shows. Can't wait for next week.

Episode grade: A-