The Glee Project - Dance-ability and Vulnerability

Okay, so some of our opinions have changed since our first Glee Project season two post, where we covered the casting special and episode one. After episodes two and three, Leeard has decided she hates just about every contestant except for maybe Shanna. Leeard hates Aylin the most. Ern stands by most of our early picks. Mario is starting to get on both our nerves. We liked him at first because of his talent and cool backstory, but his arrogance and insistence on having everyone remember that he was “classically trained” is getting annoying. There is a lot of classical training out there. Some of it is bad. We don’t know if his was good. We should have known when Taryn went home that Ryan Murphy would use the extra week to save a contestant when he couldn’t make a decision. Not that we are complaining. Lily was on the chopping block again this week and so was Nellie. We cannot lose either of them so soon, especially Nellie. We get that these competitions can take their toll on sensitive people, so we aren’t going to say a word against Taryn in this post, although it’s too bad that we didn’t get to see more of her. We didn’t even know if she was good or not.

As for the guest mentors, Samuel was useless and Cory Montieth came across as fake and rehearsed, but hot. Lea Michele is the best mentor of the season so far (no surprise). We liked the "Party Rock Anthem" cover and video from episode two, and the bullying video "Everybody Hurts" was overwrought, but entertaining. Hey, this show isn’t making art here. They were remotely tolerable and that’s as good as things are going to get. We could totally see all the lip-syncing errors the directors were complaining about in "Everybody Hurts". Zach is so hot, even when he’s yelling at the kids for being horrible dancer. Actually, especially when he’s doing that.

We could not be more tired of Tyler or hearing about his changing body. During the dance episode, he thought the challenges were a tragedy for him, even though there is a both a blind guy and a girl in a wheelchair. Yeah, Tyler, your changing body is a real handicap. Artard. While Leeard hates everything to do with Aylin since she called herself a Muslim “bad ass” in one of her talking head portions, Ern is really shipping her and Charlie. Aylin wants Blake, because of hotness, but she threw Charlie a kiss because she’s a kissing slut (which is kind of ballsy). That was nice of her. Then she kissed Lily in the video too, even though Lily seems to be Aylin’s biggest frenemy on the show. Lily hates Aylin almost as much as Leeard does.

It’s weird that Nellie complained about Spin the Bottle, saying she doesn’t just kiss people, and she is one of the only people shown kissing in the video. Did they make everyone kiss someone and just pick the best kiss? Did Aylin just kiss everyone? If so, thank God we didn’t have to see that. What we did have to see was “vulnerability” in week three, meaning drama. We liked the cover of "My Life Would Suck Without U". It was possibly their best cover yet, even though it’s one of the fantastic Kelly Clarkson’s stupidest songs (according to Ern; It's Leeard's ringtone, so she obviously disagrees). We are not at all surprised that Lily was the bully in middle school (mostly because just about everyone bullied someone in middle school, at some point, but also because Lily can be kind of a bitch). Lily breaking down in her Ryan Murphy audition was a smart move, because he loves to see pathetic tears.

We are sick of Lily’s excuses, but we love when she does her sexy thing and her voice is good. She’s no Hannah though, and we are ashamed that we thought she could ever live up to that legacy. Dani was screwed over. Yeah, she didn’t show enough “life” in the stupid party video, because she’s mature and a real artist. The best partiers are sometimes the laid-back, calm people at the party. She seemed comfortable and confident lying on the couch, singing with her fantastic voice. The show was looking for pep and GLEE though, so she was sent home, and we don’t even get to download her cover of Landslide to comfort us.

Dani wasn’t bringing the drama. You can grab a blind guy’s stick, make excuses, and fight for lines in a stupid song, but you can’t be boring on this show and survive. If you can’t handle a real person, why did you even put her on the show, Glee Project? Tyler, Lily, and Dani were the bottom three for Dance-ability. Keeping Tyler was a crime. We almost stopped watching the show, in protest, but there’s not much else on in the summer. Remember everyone: Ryan Murphy is the High School Chorus Teacher of This World, and don’t you forget it or ever argue with him, even if his show insists on talking about people's "dance-ability" when that is not a real adjective, nor even a real word.

Dance-ability grade: C

Vulnerability grade: B+