The Last Three Episodes of Being Human

The Ties that Blind The flashforward of Nora and Josh waking up, naked, in the woods killed any suspense that one of them (ok, Nora) might be killed. Werewolves always look so nasty and feral the next morning when they wake up as humans. Gross. The twins find out about Josh’s betrayal in this episode, and they are none too pleased. No more twin friends. Nora has accepted her wolf side completely, which is crazy, but we kind of like it. Josh and Nora are over, for now, and that creates new possibilities for both characters. We approve.

We can’t believe the twins lived through the night and were completely shocked when Aidan appeared to blow the brother away. How awesome was that? The dead wolf body sure looked nasty. We were sick of him anyway. Sally had a great showdown with Danny, who died in prison. The reaper showed up, took Danny, and made it clear that it won’t be long until he eliminates Sally too. Hey, but at least she’s special! This episode was more action-packed than usual. Most of the time we like our episodes a little more talky and relationship driven, but this was fine.

Episode grade: B

I’ve Got You Under My Skin We loved when Sally told herself to “nut up” in the beginning of the episode. We say that all the time (usually to each other). This girl is lucky she died with lipstick on. Right away, we thought it would be so cool if Sally became a reaper. Sally, it’s a pretty crazy idea to rip apart the reaper. That could have all sorts of otherworldly consequences and upset the balance between life and death. Duh. Sally does need a purpose in order for her storylines to become more than her just wandering around, trying to connect. It’s insane that her first kill assignment was supposed to be the troubled Stevie. Training continues next episode…

We love Josh. He’s so sad from his breakup. Julia is back. Yayyyy. She left too soon. We really loved her with Aidan. Sadly, she’s hanging out with Josh. We liked their interactions though, especially the scene where Julia told Josh that she came to Boston to find him. These two are believable as exes who would have made it if not for the supernatural. It was a bad time to have this conversation since Josh is already feeling guilty about destroying Nora. We were also happy to see Josh’s cool sister. She looks like a prettier version of Tina Majorino (not that Tina Majorino is unpretty).

Aidan and Suren’s plan to kill the orphans was insanely clever. Legal documents can kill vampires, eh? We kind of hope Suren’s torture of Henry kills Aidan’s love for her. She’s a sick, vengeful puppy. We think Aidan should have stayed to watch and support though, so that he could make sure Suren didn’t kill him. In all the drama, we wish there were more lighthearted moments and more happy roommate scenes. Sometimes this show feels too intense, and we like dark stuff, as you know. This was a good episode though.

Episode grade: B+

When I Think About You, I Shred Myself- Mi casa su casa, Skinless Henry. Gross! And poor Henry. Aidan’s devotion to his son was admirable, but it’s a shame that he had to brainwash two innocent women in order to feed Henry. It was better than forcing them to touch something they thought had no skin though. By the end of Aidan’s dark season, will viewers still like and root for him? Watching Henry feed on them was really sick. Henry is just as bad as Suren. Aidan needs to kill both of them as soon as possible. We got some much-needed background on Aidan and Henry as civil war veterans. Best of all, no one had a doofy mustache.

From the start of the episode, it looked like Julia was trying to get back with Josh. Friends first, lovers second. We can’t believe they had to attend a sexual harassment seminar together and that they sat next to each other. Talk about awkward. We liked Josh’s dead friend until he possessed Josh and slept with Julia. That is going to make things soooo complicated. Poor Josh ... after all he went through with Nora and his sacrifice in giving up Julia. If you loved her, you wouldn’t rape her or hurt her by making her think Josh wanted her, dude. As much good, emotional history as there is with Josh and Julia, we still want her with Aidan more. They were really sweet together.

At the beginning of the episode, we were like, “Sally is a ghost-hunting ghost now! Whoopeeeeee! Now her storylines might be as interesting as Josh and Aidan’s. We hope she loses her hesitant attitude soon and just becomes as bad ass as we know she can be. Will the pleasure of shredding make her evil though?” We love Sally, as a character, and often feel for her. We think the actress does a good job. But it is high time for Sally to have something real to do. Then when we found out the reaper was lying and evil, we were happy about the surprising twist, but sad that it threatened Sally’s possible storyline well. 

Then there was yet another twist. There was no reaper. Sally is losing it. Oh no! We love that this was foreshadowed in the first season. Sally is ripping ghosts right and left, her reckless actions changing her into something everyone should be afraid of, especially by the look of the previews next week. Worst roommate ever. Well, this show just got real. Where are they going to take this from here? Is Sally possessed by the dark thing or is she just crazy? We had been wishing that Aidan, Josh and Sally spent a little more time together. We guess that wish will come true in six days. We could have predicted almost nothing in this episode, and we love getting the break from Nora and the wolf sister.

Episode grade: A-

The Past Two Episodes of Shameless

 Parenthood-

 We were surprised when we saw that Sheila had taken in Frank and his mother. Did we miss an episode where Shelia and Frank made up and Frank convinced her that he wasn’t actually a user? There wasn’t a word to explain why she did this. Jody is even hanging out there (the actor has been made a series regular, so get used to him), so we guess Sheila’s house is an open house. Jody is a nice guy; he’s just really bad in bed. Freakishly bad.

We liked Lip’s idea to force Fiona to go back to school. His guidance counselor is the best. Lip is being an idiot, but we get that he doesn’t want to be everyone’s golden goose. Call him selfish, but we think that’s a lot of pressure. He’s just a teen rebelling against that pressure. Fiona was right to kick him out. Poor Carl though. We were sad about how the Lip storyline turned out last week.

Thank God Karen is going to sell her baby. That’s a weird statement, but in this case, it’s great. She is a freaking psychopath and “all the work” of pregnancy to her means staying off of drugs. Which she doesn’t. The whole thing is hilarious, but we do want a happy ending for Karen’s baby because we are human. After what Frank did to Butterface, we aren’t shocked by him stealing his dying mother’s morphine. The episode wasn’t tame though. “Statutory or catch-and-release” was one of our favorite lines of the episode, sick as it is.

We hope V gets pregnant soon so that we don’t have to watch her try to get pregnant all season. Peggy’s first suicide attempt was pretty great. We loved her death. Mike trying to kill Frank was dumb and not even that funny. It was funny that Frank didn’t care at all about catching Ian in gay coitus. Frank sounds politically conservative when he rants at the bar, but he thinks gays are natural. He just cracked jokes.

Episode grade: A-

Hurricane Monica-

Monica returns. The absent mother moves back in and no one is happy at first except Frank. Fiona is especially angry about Monica and Frank getting back together. When Frank and Monica throw a spontaneous drunken party in the living room, in the middle of the night, Fiona allows them to stay so that Deb can make a memory with her mother. But she’s not happy about it. Later, she comes around to house parties with the whole family, because Steve tells Fiona that she deserves a break now that Monica is back.

We love that people were hesitant to let Lip live with them. You don’t want to enable self-destructive behavior. Everyone gave Lip the tough love and straight talk he needed. Until Steve. Fortunately, Steve wised up and Lip had to move out. Is the program that Lip used to listen to Steve’s wife’s Portuguese real? If so, is it free?

Monica helped Deb out with Little Hank by existing and looking good, much to our dismay. Deb, he’s not good enough for you. We think that Monica should retire the pigtails, as should any woman over 30. Ian has the worst parents, but they are so good about his homosexuality. They smoked Peggy’s ashes, but they aren’t always terrible parents.

It boggles the mind. In reality, Jody and Sheila would be perfect together. They are both sweet and stupid. It’s really messed up to sleep with the same guy your daughter did though. For an episode with the word “hurricane” in it, it sure took a while to get going. There was too much bickering and too few laughs. We don’t think we got enough Kev and V either. Please tell us it wasn't Lip who knocked up Mandy because we know it wasn't Ian.

Episode grade: B-

The Good Wife - Long Way Home

We’re kind of sick of Mr. Sweeney. We don’t like him and would boo him too. We usually like when old guests come back to this show, but not with this guy. We can’t believe any woman who looks like Morena Baccarin would sleep with him. Too obvious? Psh. He’s so arrogant that he sat and verbally evaluated her blowjob skills to his lawyers. Dude, in real life, that woman wouldn’t touch you, even if she were a hooker on a Firefly. In all fairness, she liked Marshall on How I Met Your Mother, but Marshall you are not.

We are also annoyed with how Caitlin kept getting pats on the back for timidly doing simple-ass things. Geneva needs to go and take her white guilt-inducing statements with her. Kalinda and Alicia had a nice, friendly exchange in the beginning of the episode! Please, please let them become friends again. Bebe Neuwirth guest starred as the judge on Sweeney’s lawsuit, and we love her because of Broadway and Frasier and her fabulousness. At what age will she not be beautiful in that cold, unique way? Grey’s Anatomy’s Ellis Grey was opposing counsel, and it’s nice to see her playing someone less mean and crazy. 

No, Kalinda, waitresses don’t have the best gossip. Hairdressers do. And in order to keep that short cut, Morena would have to go to the hairdresser a LOT. If Kalinda were as good as the media say she is, she would have gone to the hairdresser. Meh, she found the info anyway. We're not sure why the show is having Alicia go through real estate problems, but we trust the show and know that it end up serving a real, plot-driving purpose.

We love how well this show knows the rules of evidence. Not only that, the show understands them. No other shows and movies seem to be aware that these even exist. The rules of evidence keep lawyers from saying and doing anything they want in court. It can also keep them from dramatic speeches that are the staple of other shows. It can also keep them from looking cool. This is the rare show when having legal knowledge will actually help you follow the show, rather than just ruin the show because you know how ridiculous it is. We can’t emphasize that enough. This show must have (good) staff lawyers or crackerjack researchers. 

Once again, we want Alicia’s red jackets and yet wonder if they would be professional in the real legal world. Alicia is the best mentor in the world and Caitlin doesn’t deserve her. Go ahead and quit. Caitlin just has no gumption and no pizzazz. She’s like a little mouse, devoid of personality and balls. Go get married and have a baby, Caitlin. She is right that she doesn’t have to prove anything though. There’s nothing wrong with staying home and raising a kid. Does this mean we will get a new associate character? We like the way the show handled this issue and stated that women broke the glass ceiling for just this reason: so women could have choice without shame.

We liked that Alicia was honest in court and didn’t try to elicit more lies from Sweeney. “It’s a bad economy for ideals” is a good quote. We also love Cary for coming clean to Peter. He really is a good guy and we hope he gets Caitlin’s job. He has never been hotter, and he was already hot. Honesty really turns us on, and it also makes us respect characters, especially when they are lawyers. Sweeney’s kid is adorable. Can that mother please keep him away from Sweeney? Ugh, we guess not. Raised by both of them, that kid is going to become such a liar. Alicia’s tour through her old house was surprisingly affecting for viewers with no memory of it. Finding the height chart was predictable though.

Do you guys know who Emerson Spartz is? The founder of Mugglenet.com? Come on, we know we have some hardcore HP fandom here. Well, Alicia’s son looks just like Emerson (who wrote on Ern’s facebook wall….TWICE, making those two days the highlight of Ern’s young life. Emerson is so dreamy). This show is pretty much always good. We argue over whether it is CBS' only quality show. Leeard likes to make a case for How I Met Your Mother and Two Broke Girls deserving the title of "quality CBS shows," but Ern suspects it's because Leeard doesn't watch The Good Wife. Yet. She intends to.

Episode grade: B+

Once Upon a Time - Red Handed

What happened-

Fairytale World: Red Riding Hood/Liza likes a guy named Peter who keeps visiting her window, despite Red’s Granny wanting to keep them apart. There is a wolf in the village, killing sheep and all the men who hunt it at night, and Granny thinks Red should stay indoors rather than go Romeo and Julieting all over town. Red is brave and kind, and she wants to join the villagers to hunt the wolf, but Granny won’t let her. Granny says the color red keeps wolves away, so Red has to wear her trademark cloak all the time. Granny tells the town to just stay indoors because she saw the wolf as a girl. It scratched her arm and killed her father and brothers. That’s why Granny totes a crossbow at all times.

Red finds Snow in Granny’s chicken coop, stealing a couple of eggs. Red lets Snow stay with her. They go to get water from the well and find it filled with blood. They turn around and see the bodies of the latest wolf-hunting party. Red and Snow discuss true love, and Red decides to get rid of the wolf so that her Granny will have no good excuse to keep her away from Peter. Red tells Snow that if they hunt the wolf during the day, they will have the advantage. Red tracks the wolf’s footprints until they turn into half wolf and half human. Then they just turn human and lead back to Red’s window. Red and Snow remember that Peter goes to Red’s window.

Snow convinces Red to go to Peter and tell him that he’s the wolf. If anyone can tell him this horrible news, it’s Red. Peter trusts Red pretty quickly and agrees to be chained up that night for the change. Red promises to stay with him. That night, Granny realizes Red is missing and tells Snow that Red is the wolf, and Granny has been keeping her lycanthropy a secret from Red. The wolf was Red’s grandfather and he scratched Granny so that he’d know where to find her.

Granny turned into a wolf and bore a wolf daughter. Because Granny is so old, she is no longer transforming. Red started changing at 13. Granny gave Red an enchanted cloak that keeps her from changing, but sometimes Red takes it off. Snow and Granny go to find Peter and Red, but Red is already eating him. Granny shoots the wolf with an arrow and Snow throws the cloak over the wolf’s body. Red turns back into a girl, seemingly unhurt by the arrow, and Snow rushes her home.

Storybrooke: Granny gets upset when Ruby flirts with August (in Granny’s defense, it was shameless and just the sort of thing that made us think Ruby was a floozy at first). Ruby quits her job at the diner and Mary lets Ruby stay with her. After realizing that Ruby is tougher and more competent than she seems at first glance, Emma gives Ruby a job as her assistant.

Mary goes looking for Kathryn and stumbles on David wandering around in the woods, acting strangely. He doesn’t seem to know what he is doing or who Mary is. The next day (nice), Emma goes looking for David, taking Ruby. Ruby is able to find David, and he is unconscious on the floor of the woods. They take him to Dr. Whale, who suggests that David’s brain is still wonky from the coma. David doesn’t remember anything from the past night. Emma remembers that the last time David was found unconscious, he was at the toll bridge, so she tells Ruby to go look for clues. Emma thinks there might be something related to Kathryn’s disappearance there, because everyone is suspecting David of foul play.

Ruby finds a jewelry box buried in the dirt. She opens it and freaks out. We find out later that it as a heart in it. Emma goes to tell Mary and David, assuming that it’s Kathryn’s heart since she is the only missing person around. David demands that Emma arrest him, thinking that he wanders around hurting people in his sleep. But Emma tells them that the prints on the inside of the box are actually Mary’s.

Comments -

First of all, Red is gorgeous. She looks a little too harsh with bright makeup and straight hair, so we didn’t notice just how pretty she was earlier. Why did Peter just happen to have a bunch of chains with him? Weird. This show needs to work on its internal logic. The wolf eating Peter was the nastiest thing we’ve seen on this show, even if we didn’t see much of it. The bucket of blood was pretty gross too. We’ve always wanted this show to get a touch more macabre. If we had it our way, it would be super dark and Brothers Grimm-like, but this is a family show and we like its family ratings. This level of dark is fine. We think it’s pretty clear that Granny got raped by a wolf and maybe that’s TOO dark. We like the way they kept that subtle though. The kiddies won’t get it. Another thing they won’t get? Wolfing out only happens when women menstruate. Weird.

Granny really needed to tell Red what she was a lot sooner. It’s easier to live with the burden of being a wolf if you NEVER KILLED PEOPLE and kept your cloak on. Clearly, this situation was not under control. Of course Red would take her cloak off indoors and at night when she gets in bed. Ugh. We were surprised that Peter got eaten. With this show, we assumed Granny and her crossbow would get there in time. The heart in the jewelry box is Graham’s, right? We love the lack of damsels in distress in this fairytale show. We would expect nothing less from a show containing LOST writers, since that show had well-rounded, mysterious woman. This episode was one of the strongest in the show’s season so far. It was mostly coherent, had believable relationships (something this show struggles with occasionally), and contained just the right amount of Henry.

Episode grade: A

The Blogging Break Is Over/Last Week's Shows

We will now be posting daily again, for the most part. We reserve the right to take a day or weekend off if school decides to hate us again. Thanks for hanging in there with us. The numbers in our stats didn't suffer at all, meaning just about everyone reading this blog stuck around. That's awesome, and it makes this worth it. We are addicted to blogging anyway.

Sunday
Once Upon a Time - Dreamy
This was a really cute episode, mainly because one of us has adored Amy Acker since Angel. We got Grumpy's backstory (finally?). Apparently, in the Enchanted Forest, he was named Dreamy first, and he fell in love with Amy Acker's fairy Nova. Their bosses find out about their forbidden love and Grumpy turns into Grumpy. In our world, Leroy (Grumpy) falls for Astrid (Nova) and it seems that their love isn't necessarily forbidden, but frowned upon, since Astrid is a nun. People are still being mean to Mary, but things seem to pick up at the end of the episode when Granny lights Mary's candle.
Episode Grade: B+

GCB - Pilot
There was a blogger split on this show. Ern pretty much hated it, thought it was boring, didn't laugh at all, and wondered why it was a full hour. She liked Kristin Chenoweth's performance though. Leeard was just the opposite. She thought Kristin was a weak spot in a funny, enjoyable pilot. One thing we both agree on is the leading lady, Leslie Bibb. She has charisma and just enough mature cuteness to carry this show if the writing gives her good material. Both of us hope that Kristin's character stays to the side so that Bibb can be the main attraction. Kristin is better on the side. A little of that shrill voice goes a long way. We like the way Kristin was allowed to sing in a believable way (church choir). We also like the main character's funny mother and her daughter's new dye job. It's not disrespectful to Christians or anything. The worst thing it does to this group is associate these prideful, superficial, judgmental people with Christians. But, hey, lots of Christians kind of deserve that...We are amazed that they decided on GCB for the title because people are going to wonder what it is when they see it in their TV guides. Even Good Christian Belles would have been better. The original title's B stood for "Bitches", and that really would have been best. But, alas, people are prudes. The show reminds us a little of Desperate Housewives, only with more cattiness.
Leeard's grade: B, Ern's grade: D+

House of Lies - Veritas
Okay, if you're thinking of going to B-School, watch this episode. It epitomizes recruiting events, in the most depressing way possible. Usually the cutthroat person is another candidate, but it's still accurate.
Episode Grade: A

The Good Wife- Live from Damascus, After the Fall

Live From Damascus- Jonathan Groff was in this episode! He cried the entire time, but he still looked hot and manly. Will absolutely made the right decision to accept the suspension. Diane was crazy. The bar would have absolutely disbarred him because messing with client money is like the number one thing they disbar people for. We really felt for Will though, which is rare. Kathy’s brother on The Big C was a defendant in this episode. The case was powerful, and there was an element of tension when we found out it was possible for the lawyers to save a young woman’s life. This show is so good at being aware of the world at large, other countries, complex legal issues, and the way people think. After the Fall- Mina from Off the Map was the opposing attorney! We miss that show. Dexter Morgan’s older brother was the defendant. Will’s sisters are so different from both himself and each other. They were adorable. However, this episode was quiet and didn’t blow us away like the last couple.

Episode Grades: A- and B

Monday
The Lying Game - Unholy Matrimony
Alec and Rebecca are getting married. Emma and Ethan are over (for now), and Thayer is obviously falling for Emma, which we totally support. They're the only decent people on this show (besides Mads and Laurel, but that's beside the point). Sutton is still the worst person on this planet. Kristin finally got awesome and told off Ted and Rebecca for the affair. Ethan and Sutton find the picture of Alec holding a tire iron over Derek's head on Rebecca's computer while they're snooping during the engagement dinner. They show it to Dan and Theresa, who manage to get a search warrant pretty darn fast. Thayer lets the police into the house so they can search for any evidence that Alec was involved in Derek's death. We are loving Thayer in this episode. While the cops are searching the house, they find a bloody tire iron in Alec's golf clubs (!!!). After the cops take Alec away at the wedding, we see Sutton watching the scene from a room in the club. It turns out to be the bridal suite and HOLY CRAP Rebecca is Sutton/Emma's mother and she and Sutton have been planning this all along! We honestly don't know if this is awesome or terrible, but HOLY CRAP! Also, are Sutton and Emma actually Ted's children? Because that would be pretty cool. And how long have Sutton/Rebecca known about each other? Did Sutton actually find her in LA and we just weren't privy to that scene? ABC Family hasn't picked this up for a second season yet, but come on. There needs to be some closure on this insanity, even if it's just a movie.
Episode Grade: A

Pretty Little Liars - Eye of the Beholder

Jenna got the operation and Toby is back! Oh Toby, we’ve missed your face. And your arms. He’s seriously and suddenly looking really good in this episode. He kind of looks like Joaquin Phoenix. Ern doesn’t care how he looks; she will always be team Wren. Leeard, once again, is team threesome. We like the new hottie, Duncan. He needs to calm his tits though. Most people do. We loved that this episode had Toby and Wren interacting. We’ve never found Ezra sexier than we did in this episode. He finally grew a little shrivel of a sack! Wren reminds us of Ezra, looks-wise, only he’s better looking. We are ok with Wren and Spencer because Wren is not Spencer’s teacher. He may be older, but it’s the authority abuse thing that we don’t like. Also, Spencer can handle it. Mona is turning into the best, which makes us think she might be A. We hope not though. Hanna Marin is a hero, hoo-rah. Seven days until we find out who A is. Holy crap! We loved this episode. It was light on the action at first, but we still loved it, and then the action amped up. This show is so good. We can’t even. A is incredible, and Emily is really the best person. Sidenote: shout out to Conshohocken on the show! Nice!

Episode Grade: A-

Alcatraz - "The Ames Brothers" and "Sonny Burnett"
Well it took 9 episodes, but we finally got a case that was actually interesting. The Ames Brothers episode was okay; Hurley was captured by two brothers who tried to steal gold from Alcatraz in '63. They failed back then, even though they had a wildly elaborate plan, because they took the wrong keys from the warden. When the guard they were working with finally gets into the vault in 2012, there's nothing there. However, the audience sees that there was gold in that vault when the warden opens it and basically makes out with a massive gold bar. Sonny Burnett, however, was pretty good (for this show). The inmate who came back was a kidnapper; in our time, he kidnapped Mr. Pierce, who owns a cosmetics empire with his wife. Apparently, Mr. Pierce's wife Helen was, back in '63, basically Burnett's victim/accomplice. She turned him in and he went to Alcatraz. Then, Helen took the money Burnett had hidden away. He obviously wants revenge, so he kills her husband, kidnaps her daughter and buries her in the field where is money was hidden. Well that's terrifying. Of course they find the daughter in time. The only thing we find out about the overall mythology of the show is that some of the inmates have colloidal silver in their blood, keeping them healthier than they should otherwise be.
Episode Grades: C and B+

Smash - Let's Be Bad
Leo (Julia's son) gets caught hanging out with people smoking pot and Tom and his lawyer friend get him off with a bench warrant. Apparently this is enough to potentially mess up the adoption. Julia and Michael kiss outside her apartment (in view of her son) after he stopped by their home. Whatever, we like them together more than Julia and her husband. Derek scolds Ivy in front of everyone and makes Karen teach Ivy how to sing part of a song properly. It's sufficiently awkward for all parties involved, but Ivy plays it like it's what Marilyn would've done, just to make Karen feel worse about it. Ivy starts to go a little crazy. Honestly, we know we're supposed to be rooting for Karen, and we are (in her personal life), but Megan Hilty just IS Marilyn, so we'll probably be a little bummed when Ivy somehow loses the role. The musical is starting to come into its own, and we're starting to actually get excited about the show within the show (if not Smash itself).
Episode Grade: C+

Tuesday
Switched at Birth - Game On
Ugh this episode was so frustrating! We feel really bad for Bay; she wants to help Emmett's mom, but she doesn't want Emmett to hate her. We can definitely relate. Most of the family goes to Daphne's basketball tournament, where Carlton has to play Buckner in the first round. Carlton beats Buckner, which is unsurprising. However, what is surprising is that Emmett freaking sleeps with Simone after a fight with Bay. We're not going to get into the whole teen/premarital sex thing, because it's a tv show. But sleeping with someone he LITERALLY just met and has even less in common with than Bay? After getting into a (legitimate) fight with his girlfriend? Makes us start to hate Emmett. And we really don't want to hate him, because his face is just so awesome.
Episode Grade: C

Cougar Town - Full Moon Fever
Jules and Andy argue about who is the King of the cul-de-sac (it's obviously Jules). Some kids start riding their bikes through their backyards, and ultimately it falls on Jules and Andy to work together to stop them. It's adorable, as usual. Speaking of adorable, Sarah Chalke guest starred as Travis' photography teacher, who falls for Bobby. We like where this is going. Laurie starts dating a soldier through Twitter, which Ellie mocks her for. Once Ellie reads their tweets though, she realizes that this is actually the healthiest relationship Laurie has been in .... basically forever. Maybe Smith was better.
Episode Grade:

Breaking In - The Contra Club
We're pretty glad this show came back. It was pretty funny, and very weird, last year, so it was a nice surprise that it was un-canceled. However, we're worried about the addition of Megan Mullally to the cast. She's great in guest-starring roles (see: Happy Endings), but we're not loving her character so far. It's been one episode though, we'll give her a shot.
Episode Grade: B

New Girl - Injured
Honestly, Leeard needs to stop reviewing this show. She's so biased it isn't even funny. It's just so adorable. Cece and Schmidt finally bonded on a more emotional level, Winston had to say goodbye to his old, rundown car, and Nick finds out that he might have something seriously wrong with him (medically; we already know there's something seriously wrong with him mentally since he's not with Jess yet).
Episode Grade: A

Jane By Design - The End of the Line
Oh hey, another frustrating episode. Ben tries to make Jane quit, but he ultimately realizes that she loves, and is really good at, her job. Jane accuses India of being the mole, and Gray fires India on the spot. It turns out that Jeremy was the mole (which one of us predicted, because India being the mole was way too easy). After the (successful, of course) fashion show, Jeremy starts to tell Jane about his feelings for her, but leaves to talk to Beau. Billy comes in and tells Jane that he's always been in love with her and we groaned. Yes they've made it pretty obvious from the beginning that he's in love with her, but we were so thankful that it they weren't going there. We miss platonic opposite sex relationships on TV. It happens in real life, people.
Episode Grade: B-

Parenthood - My Brother's Wedding
Yes, yes, we know this one was a while ago, but we totally forgot to stick it in the post, and it's a finale! We can't ignore it. The adoption storyline took a sad but predictable turn, and we guess Julia's reward for all her trouble is that she changed Coffee Girl's life? Meh. Good luck explaining to Sid why she has a new older brother. That's going to be pretty interesting. Amber and Bob, why did you not get together? Crosby's wedding was sweet, but we sort of wish they had sold the Luncheonette. The time they've spent there, fighting, has been alright, but we wanted the show to move on from that a little. The finale was sweet, overall, and we are sad to see such a short season. Hopefully the show comes back because we don't think there was resolution here.
Episode grade: B

Wednesday
Psych - Heeeeere's Lassie
We don't mention this show much, but we just wanted to say that while some shows (*cough*GLEE*cough*) need to cool it on the tribute episodes, Psych does them so, so well.
Episode Grade: A

Thursday
The Office - Last Day in Florida
Jim saves Dwight from being fired. After she tells him that she plans on staying in Florida, Andy decides to go there to get Erin back.
Episode Grade: C

Parks and Recreation - Campaign Shakeup, Lucky
Well, we are caught up on this show just in time for it to leave us. There will be a hiatus since Community is coming back, and that's the only reason we aren't screaming. Campaign Shakeup: You know Tim Allen's character on Last Man Standing? Well, Ron is so much more of a man than that guy. We wish he could cross over to Last Man Standing and show Allen what a shemale he really is. The line about slaughtering calves when he was six was a Swanson Classic. This episode featured Kathryn Hahn as a guest star, and we always like her, even if her short-lived show, Free Agents, sucked this fall. And it did. It's disturbing that Leslie wants to bang Joe Biden. Andy's water balloon Kamikaze was great. Also, there's nothing sweeter than the ever-platonic Ron/April relationship. Lucky: Tom is a lot funnier now that he isn't trying to make that business work. We love when he sings. More Tom singing, we say. So Ron's life was shaped by powerful women, eh? That's why he has to be so manly. We are sick of guys who want weak, stupid women so that they can feel more like men. How about you just man up even more, like Ron? Ron got the girl over Chris, in a stunning twist. She must have been impressed with his steak-eating abilities. The lines in both these episodes were hilarious. Leslie accidentally getting drunk for her interview wasn't as funny as it should have been though. We had another famous guest star, Sean Hayes, as the interviewer, and he was just OK. Will the Tom/Ann breakup stick this time? We're thinking not. We will miss you, show.
Episode grades: B+ and A-

Friday
Degrassi - Can't Tell Me Nothing Part 2
We don't usually cover this show, but Leeard just had to say: if Jenna takes ANOTHER one of Clare's boyfriends, we will riot. Even if Clare isn't currently dating Jake, what is WRONG with Jenna? Find your own guys to like, goodness gracious.
Episode Grade: B

Movies
We saw Wanderlust. Leeard thought it was weird. Maybe it's just Paul Rudd, but she agreed with him 100% of the time. There were about five or six uniquely, awesomely funny parts, but they never lasted very long. This movie had split-second moments of brilliance, but the overall movie wasn't that funny. Grade: C+ We saw Woman in Black to support Daniel Radcliffe because we think he is a hardworking, cool person. We liked the Gothic, old fashioned setting, the goreless scares, the plot, and the cast. Dan did alright! There was nothing new in the movie, and if you hate or are not scared of ghosts, there won't be much here for you. It's a traditional ghost story. There were definitely a few scares, and we were really into it by the time the ending came around. But like many horror movies, the ending disappointed and came out of nowhere. Still, this was one of the best horror movies of recent years.. Grade: B. Chronicle was so much fun. Yeah, the "found footage" stuff is everywhere, but you haven't seen a superhero movie do it yet, have you? There was humor, likable characters, a fast pace, tension, action, and high school drama. The acting was great and the script was clever. All three leads should (and probably will) be stars. This was the most pleasant surprise of our entertainment week. Grade: A-. Rampart was mostly an excuse for Woody Harrelson to prove once again that he can act. This one had a good cast with lots of TV favorites, but it was way too long and dour. It succeeds as a character study and close look at a cop who is more evil than good. The plot was meandering and we just got to swim in this guy's self-inflicted misery for a few hours. It was fun seeing Ben Foster as a gross homeless man though. This was more art/indie than a crowd-pleaser or mainstream entertainer. Whether you like this will come down to personal taste. We just wish there had been a tighter plot. Grade: B-.

Books
We read Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain, and it was excellent. If you dislike quiet or shy people/think they are bad and selfish, if you are an introvert (even if you aren't shy) who always wished to be a little different, if you have or are going to have children, if you are a boss in the workplace, if you want to understand yourself better, or if you are an extrovert who just wants to understand literally half the people around you, you should rush to read this book. Cain's writing is readable, despite its academic nature and nonfiction subject matter. It really shows the upsides of being introverted, explains why they are that way (they are highly sensitive to stimuli), and gives advice to both groups. This book is both necessary and interesting, and we are not surprised it's a best seller. Recommended to anyone interested in the topic. We are both ambiverts (whenever we take a quiz, we get 50% introvert and 50% extrovert.) We love our introvert traits though. Introverts are bad ass, and more people should know it. Grade: A

Old Show Alert
Ern is still watching Veronica Mars but didn't get very far into the second season. It was spring break and we were partying it up. Ern was in Seattle, eating all the good food they have there. MMMM. Anyway, Ern watched two episodes of season two. It's weird to see Veronica hanging out with the 09ers and dating Duncan. We thought she grew out of him. He seems a little slow, quite frankly, but it seems like Logan needs to get a reign on his temper in order to deserve Veronica. The bus crash was a surprise, but it was necessary. This show is still huge on exposition and explaining past events, spaced out in flashbacks. That really annoyed Ern in the pilot, but she has gotten used to it, mostly. Normal is the Watchword: B+. Driver Ed: B.

Is the Hunger Games Out Yet? (No, obviously, because we aren't living behind the movie theater waiting for each showing)

This week was really crazy, so as you can see, we are a few episodes behind on some of our favorite shows. Boo. Also, a lot of shows didn't have a new episode this week. Double boo. We hope to be caught up very soon, but this week is spring break and we always have crazy plans for spring break. We're sure we'll watch something though. 

Monday shows: 
Pretty Little Liars - Father Knows Best
After the last couple of weeks, another run-of-the-mill PLL episode wasn't going to wow us. We felt really bad for Spencer's dad during this episode. Emily's dad is awesome. Aria is donning the red coat when she meets yet another player in this game (new guy Duncan). Thank God it's March. It's time to find out who A is already. It cannot come too soon. Unless the reveal sucks.
Episode Grade: B-

The Lying Game - Weekend of Living Dangerously
EMMA SLAPPED SUTTON! Who cares about what else happened in the episode because EMMA SLAPPED SUTTON! And it was awesome! Also, pretty much nothing else happened in this episode. Well, Sutton and Thayer found out that Rebecca has a picture of Ted in her locket (which they discovered held a picture of the love of her life) and Emma and Ethan almost had sex. Ethan finally confessed the ranch kiss to Emma, and they broke up for good. It was actually a pretty boring episode, but that slap guaranteed it'd be getting nothing less than an A from us.
Episode Grade: A

Hart of Dixie - Tributes & Triangles
Okay, first things first: does this episode title remind anyone else of The Hunger Games? Just us? Well okay then. George won some Man of the Year thing and Lavon hosted party in his honor (which obviously sucked for him). Zoe made a big speech at the party and now basically everyone knows that she's in love with George. Honestly, this was probably the best episode so far. When Zoe told George that she got her father to do his dad's surgery, Leeard teared up. This show is a lot better than it has any right to be.
Episode Grade: A-

Smash - The Cost of Art
While we continue to love Julia and root for Karen, this show just keeps having non-eventful episodes. Nick Jonas guest starred and is now funding the Marilyn workshop. Karen got a much-needed makeover (both with style and attitude). Whatever. A Jonas brother will not save this show and we are surprised that was what they tried. They should go full Broadway, take more risks, and have stuff happen. One of us likes Katherine McPhee, but the other of us wonders if her lack of charisma is what is tanking the show.
Episode Grade: C

How I Met Your Mother - Karma

Barney found out that Quinn is a dancer at his favorite strip club and thinks he's dating her, when really he's paying tipping her a bunch of money. Robin moved out of Ted's apartment and into Lily and Marshall's house (temporarily). Everyone realizes that Long Island sucks and moves the heck back into Manhattan, since Ted was nice enough to give Lily and Marshall his apartment. We're left wondering what the heck Ted and Robin are going to do and frankly only one of us cares anymore.
Episode Grade: C+

Tuesday shows: 

Switched at Birth - Write a Lonely Soldier
Emmett found out that Bay had been emailing Ty while he's been in Afghanistan and he got upset. Daphne helped Travis, a student at Carlton, get a job at John's car wash, but he quickly gets fired when he gets in an argument with an important customer. Daphne goes to his house and realizes how difficult his family situation is, with parents who don't know any sign language and a younger brother who only wants to know the curse signs. It's actually pretty depressing and helps explain his earlier attitude. Travis tells John he'll work on communicating better. Overall, it was a pretty good episode. We just with Emmett would stop being stupid.
Episode Grade: B

Jane By Design - The Getaway

Well, Ben finally found out about Jane's real job. Jane and India went to California for the weekend to look for a new location for a Donovan Decker store. Nick realized that Jane would never choose him over her job and Lulu realized that Billy would never choose her over Jane, so both of those relationships appear to be over. Well, to be fair, Ben overheard India make a comment about how Jane shouldn't hook up that night, which didn't help matters. After coming to those revelations, Nick and Lulu kissed. We're actually pretty bummed that Nick and Jane broke up; they were a cute couple, if not at all realistic.
Episode Grade: B

Cougar Town - Lover's Touch
This show is just so, so good. It's funny, it's touching, and it's gotta hang around for a few more seasons. Jules has been neglecting Grayson to focus on the wedding, and he is bummed he hasn't been getting much affection. Then Travis gets into an accident and Grayson gets neglected even more. While Travis keeps telling Jules not to worry about him, Jules gives a speech that, honestly, Leeard's mom has given before. Jules tells Travis that even though he's almost 20 and in college, she's still his mother and she will continue to worry about him and his safety until the day she dies. It's a very touching scene. We love this show.
Episode Grade: A

Wednesday shows:
Suburgatory - Poetic Injustice
Oh Tessa. That poetry teacher was super weird, not super cool, as was Dalia's poetry. George and Dallas finally seem to be getting closer, so that's pretty exciting. This show never really has much of a plot, but it cracks us up on a regular basis, so we appreciate that.
Episode Grade: B+

Happy Endings - Cocktails & Dreams
This show, guys. We don't have sex dreams about Dave, but we kind of wish we did so we could be a part of that group.
Episode Grade: A-

America's Next Top Model- Kelly Osbourne
At least they didn't kick of the girl with the cutest accent yet. However, so far this season is descending into ANTM's trashy worst. What happened to real photo shoots? Why would you pair some of those famous figures. We have no favorite so far, but this show entertains us and always hooks us on the makeover episode. 
Episode grade: C+


Thursday shows: 
The Office - Test the Store

Andy got beaten up by a little girl while trying to defend Pam. Kelly used to be a bully (which we are not at all surprised by). The Florida group opened the test store to "bloggers" (um why weren't we invited?!) to some pretty positive feedback.
Episode Grade: C+

Movies: We saw Act of Valor, a movie that most everyone wants to see (OK, mostly guys), but critics say is underwhelming. Who is right? Well, the reason we go see that movie is to see bad ass Navy Seal action. Let's face it, this isn't the newest Christopher Nolan movie. If anyone is looking for nuance, grey areas, political correctness, an objective look at the military, or multidimensional characters, they can look elsewhere. We want to see Seals be awesome and that's it. The movie delivers that, and so it is a success for its audience. There is a formulaic plot in which the Seals show us what they do. When the explosions, shooting, chasing, and other fighting are going on, the movie is good and realistic. It's exactly what we are here to see. But then they have to stop and talk to each other. Those scenes range from cheesy to unintentionally hilarious. The acting is some of the worst we've ever seen, but the guys are real Seals, not actors. The script and dialogue are unworthy of these heroes, and we wish other people had been involved making it. The end message and action are good; the overall movie is unfortunate. If you like good movies, don't go see this one. If you like action, America, and Navy Seals, do. We like all of the above, so we're giving this a mixed grade of B-. Ern re-watched Warrior to make her dad and brother see it. They liked it. 

Books: We read Fever by Lauren DeStefano, the sequel to Wither. For a book where the bulk of it was spent wandering around, getting sidelined, and trying to look for Rhine's brother, it was pretty entertaining. It didn't move the plot along much and ended with a frustrating cliffhanger, but the end was truly creepy. This book is darker than the first, which was good, but we had to spend most of the sequel waiting for the exciting characters and moments. That is why the first book was better, but the second book sure wasn't bad. There was a lot of suspense built up to when and if we would see anyone from the mansion again. We await the conclusion eagerly. Grade: B


OLD SHOW ALERT: Ern finished season one of Veronica Mars. A lot of it feels like Wonderfalls in tone, especially when they brought in the Russian bride thing. That's not a bad thing. Ern can't decide if she's a Logan fan or not, but it's pretty clear at this point that he's endgame. It was cool how he stood up for her in front of his friends. It's going to be weird going into season two to have Veronica back in people's good graces, but with writing like this, Ern is pretty sure it's still going to be good. Clash of the Triton: A+, Lord of the Bling: B, Mars v. Mars: B+, Ruskie Business: B-, Betty and Veronica: A-, Kanes and Abels: B, Weapons of Class Destruction: A, Hot Dogs: A-, M.A.D.: B+, A Trip to the Dentist: A+, Leave It to Beaver: A+

The Oscars were boring, but TV was not.

Sunday shows:
Shameless - A Bottle of Jean Nate
We liked the stuff with Kevin and V mourning the loss of Ethel. We were horrified at Jody's sexual habits. When is "Kiss from a Rose" going to catch a break? That's a pretty song. Jasmine is a sketchball, but Fiona sort of did owe her a place to stay. 
Episode grade: B

Once Upon a Time - What Happened to Frederick
The stranger has a name, and it's August. We still miss Graham, but August is growing on us. In fact, his scenes with Emma might have been the highlight of this episode. We also really loved that Abigail/Kathryn has her own love. The evil queen's curse actually did something for Kathryn's happiness! It stopped her from leaving Storybrooke and going to law school. 
Episode grade: B

House of Lies - Bareback Town
We already knew that Marty has no morals, but this episode finally proved it. He threw one of the client's employees (someone he's known for years) under the bus just to keep the client. This will not go over well, since she has a new job with the competitor. We really enjoyed this episode because, though he has proven and will continue to prove that he has no scruples when it comes to his job, he's actually starting to care for the stripper we met in the pilot. He's just such a confusing man. His ex-wife is absolutely insane (or, well, more insane than we already knew) if she thinks that she could get full custody of Roscoe. Not only are you certifiably crazy, you're on the road as much as Marty is, and Roscoe's grandfather takes care of him when Marty isn't around. She probably has some psycho tricks up her sleeve though, not that she's usually wearing shirts when we see her onscreen.
Episode Grade: B+

Monday shows:
Pretty Little Liars - Breaking the Code
We have another couple we like: Wren and Spencer. How adorable are they? He brings out her sexy, drunk, even crazier side. Mona just made a bid to become one of our favorite characters. You can't threaten someone who isn't afraid of the truth. What a freaking bad ass. Mona is a great friend. This episode might have even ended with Maya's death. The show did spoil that there would be a death. We almost got rid of Ezra, who keeps chickening out. Aria has to always put the pieces back together and find a way for them to date. Now Ella is helping them work it out? Ugh. But we still think Ella is the best parent on this show of pretty awesome parents. This episode had some great emotion and is starting to address all the Melissa theorists. That probably means it isn't Melissa, unless they want to reveal A's identity before the finale. Doubt it. 
Episode grade: A

The Lying Game - Not Guilty as Charged
Wow how much does Sutton suck? While there are quite a few times that we enjoy her as a character, most of the time we just wish the tv series had started in the same way as the book series - with Sutton's death. Anyway, Ethan's case was dropped due to insufficient evidence, so that's definitely the last we'll be hearing about that case, right? Ha! Sutton pretended to be Emma and told Ethan that she (Emma) had slept with Thayer when Ethan and Sutton were hiding out on the ranch after Ethan told her (Sutton pretending to be Emma) that he had made out with Sutton but that she doesn't mean anything to him. Ouch, but seriously Sutton - you're the worst. You totally deserved that. Sutton then told Emma that she (Sutton) and Ethan slept together on the ranch. We hate you so, so much Sutton. Mads finally called Sutton out on being basically the world's worst friend, and while that might make a normal person change her ways, this is Sutton we're talking about. Also, Laurel and Baz are heading in the right direction, which we're pretty excited about. Justin is a horrible boyfriend and person, and Laurel deserves so much better, because she's pretty awesome.
Episode Grade: B

Hart of Dixie - Snowflakes & Soulmates
Lemon and George tried to elope, but obviously that wasn't going to happen. Lavon got his parents back together and broke up with Didi, because he's obviously still in love with Lemon. Zoe tried to send some macaroons to her dad in Germany, but found out that he moved back to New York and hasn't tried to contact her. Ouch. She and Brick had a little heart-to-heart about that while Zoe drove him to South Carolina (for Lemon and George's elopement which, again, was never actually going to happen). All in all, a pretty decent episode for this show that one of us likes more than is rational.
Episode Grade: B

Smash - Enter Mr. DiMaggio
Ugh. We almost got a male character involved in the show who was straight and not a douche. But it turns out he slept with a married woman and is being awfully friendly to her now that they are reunited. Julia cheated on her caveman! We like the new character though, and we like how that assistant is turning into a full-on villain. The songs were ok, although we don't know that "Redneck Woman" needed to be covered by this show. At least the rock version of "Grenade" made sense in the plot. 
Episode grade: B

The Voice - Blind Auditions Part 4
The only notable voices in this episode, in our opinion, were Jamie Lono (who sang "Folsom Prison Blues") and Charlotte Sometimes (who sang "Apologize"). Jamie really brought something to "Folsom Prison Blues", and honestly, and version of a Johnny Cash song that doesn't immediately make us go "ugh please stop" is really, really good, because we love Johnny Cash. We're glad he's on Team CeeLo. Charlotte Sometimes a) cannot be her real name and b) reminded us of Xenia a little too, so we're glad she's on Team Blake.
Episode Grade: B

How I Met Your Mother - No Pressure

Shockingly, despite lack of early-season hilarity, we liked this one. Maybe it was the hopeful, smart ending. Maybe it was the inclusion of Florence and the Machine's "Shake It Out." Maybe it was how much we were reminded that Marshall and Ted are such great friends. But, overall, this episode did not leave us annoyed and angry, like the last couple. We wish Marshall had paid up at the end though, since we know Robin isn't the mother.

Episode grade: B

Being Human - "Addicted to Love" and "Mama Said There'd Be Decades Like This"

Sally is a rapist who drove a woman crazy now, and Josh is concerned. We're not gonna lie, we thought it was awesome when Josh went to town on Nora's Chris Brown. But it was even more awesome when Nora and the siblings killed him. That storyline was part of the wolves' downward spiral, but this particular step in the downfall wasn't entirely unwelcome. This season, we are liking Nora and Josh more as a couple. We got to see why Mother punished Suren in the first place, meaning that we got a few more shots of Aidan's hideous little mustache. We loved the twist that Henry, Aidan's traitorous underling, was alive. We weren't digging the ghost/imaginary Bishop. Also, we were shocked when Josh traded the purebred siblings for Nora/his freedom. That's pretty rude, but we don't blame him.
Episode grades: B and B

Tuesday shows:
Glee - On My Way
NOOOOOOO Quinn! Maybe you aren't as sad as we are about Q, but we've always liked her. Even when she acted psycho, she at least had a reason to be a jerk, unlike when Mercedes started acting douche-y this season. Quinn's recent good advice, good decisions, and that moment where she advised both Rachel and Mercedes when they went through their "looks insecurity" phase makes her someone we root for. We can't believe we have to wait until April to find out if Quinn is OK, although we are guessing she ___, because of these set photos. Glee did manage to send an important message about texting while driving, we guess. Glee made us cry this week. Literally. And over KAROFSKY, so, bravo show. We know we have a lot of teen readers and that those years can be hard. (Not that suicide is just for teens) If you ever feel hopeless and hate yourself enough to consider suicide, please call a hotline and/or keep fighting. It really will pass and you don't want to give whatever is trying to tear you down a victory. Getting help and sticking around shows that, while you have your problems and life sucks right now, you're a bad ass and won't go down, ever. In "what the hell?" news, Sue is pregnant and the Finchel wedding was moved to right after Regionals (although Quinn's crash might stop it). Also, New Directions won at Regionals. The third place show choir might have been the funniest thing about this episode. We were disappointed in the Kelly Clarkson song, because the voices just didn't have the same oomph as Kelly's. It was a misfire. Also, Rachel's solo didn't fit her voice at all (the original version of the song is fun though). We feel cheated, but not by the cliffhanger and hour-long anti-suicide PSA. Lots of people thought that stuff was sensational and cheap, but we thought it was nice, shocking, and that it fit the show. They hadn't really ever addressed that topic and honestly, given the characters they have, we're surprised it took them this long.
Episode grade: A

Switched at Birth - The Art of Painting
Regina had her art show and Bay was jealous, but got over it (basically). Emmet is still doing speech therapy, and told Bay he wants to drop out of school because he thinks getting a GED is the same as a high school diploma and he doesn't need any more than that to be a photographer. Bay told Emmet's mom, and she forced Emmet to go back to school. Bay, you did the right thing. Don't let Emmet make you think differently. Also, Daphne found out that the Carlton women's basketball team is going to be cut, so she leaves Buckner to go back to her old school. We're glad, since it didn't really make sense that she could leave in the first place. Side note: we really don't mention this show enough. We're working on rectifying that.
Episode Grade: B

Jane By Design - The Wedding Gown
Donovan Decker designed a wedding dress for "American royalty" that the soon-to-be princess didn't love, so Jeremy, India, Carter, and Jane had to stay late to make a new dress for her. Of course, infallible Jane designs a gorgeous gown, that India takes credit for. While we like that India tried to give Jane credit while showing the dress to Jeremy, we wish she would've just owned up to it when Jane told Jeremy that it was her design. We get it, India sucks and Jane is awesome. Anyway, of course the future princess loves Jane's design (which was based on Jane's mother's gown), but the redesign process caused Jane to miss a date with Billy and Nick. Luckily, it gives the boys time to bond and they become friendly. Honestly, this show isn't great, but Erica Dasher (who plays Jane) is just so, so likeable.
Episode Grade: B

Wednesday shows:
Suburgatory - Fire with Fire
Other than Happy Endings and Cougar Town, this is probably the funniest show that no one is watching. We haven't really looked into the ratings, but no one we know watches Suburgatory. Dallas filed for divorce and is feeling and looking better than ever. This inspires Noah's wife to leave him. He wins her back by pretty much every romantic gesture we can think of. Dalia is still upset at Tessa for "stealing" Scott Strauss so she steals Lisa as a friend. Tessa fights back and steals Kamantha as a friend, and Lisa comes back when she sees Kamantha and Malik doing the Dougie at a school dance. Re-reading this paragraph makes us wonder how this show is actually as funny as it is, because nothing in the recap really stands out. Trust us though, it's laugh out loud funny.
Episode Grade: B+

Thursday shows:
Secret Circle
There was no new episode this week, but we have a question: Why did no one point out to us that Daddy is SULLY from Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman? Yeah, we should have noticed ourselves, but he was covered in beard, had short hair, and has aged a bit. Still. That's important information.

The Office - After Hours
Ryan tries to hit on Erin, but either realizes he's "in love with Kelly" when Erin says something about waiting six months to do it or realizes he doesn't want to wait six months for Erin when he has a sure thing waiting in Scranton. Nellie tries to sleep with Dwight. Kathy tries to sleep with Jim. Dwight preventing hookups might just be the best thing this show has done in a while. Sidenote: Poor Darryl.
Episode Grade: B

Parks and Recreation - Sweet Sixteen
The Ron/Leslie relationship is so darling. Ann and Ron are STILL happening, despite April's best efforts (go April!). It looks like Chris is depressed about that. Jerry's birthday surprise was hilarious when only Ben popped up. We love this show. 
Episode grade: A-

Grey's Anatomy - If Only You Were Lonely
Cristina thinks Owen is cheating and Meredith's VO left us unsure. Either Cristina is crazy, or one of our favorite geek goddesses (Summer Glau) is banging Cristina's husband. If Owen cheats, we will be firmly on team Cristina, forever, rather than our current team, which is "Team Both of You Are Wrong But For Good Reasons." You all know we don't care about the Chief and Adele, but this episode made even us feel bad for them. The stuff with Zola's hair was dumb. Bailey just should have told Derek right away. We loved the peds case. The shrapnel in the guy's chest was disgusting. Overall, this was emotional, funny Grey's at its best. 
Episode grade: A

Movies: We watched Courageous, which is definitely a Christian movie. Why is Christian stuff is so bad usually, in modern times? Religious music, like Handel's Messiah, used to be the most beautiful stuff around. There is some good Christian music, but most of it sounds lame. Christian-themed books, like Dostoevsky's stuff, Dante's Inferno, or Lord of the Rings used to be deep and subtle. Courageous was one of the better Christian films we've seen, and it still wasn't very good. Its worst crime was hammering moral points home in such an overt way that it insulted its audience. The audience should be able to apply ideas to life themselves and pick out the themes, not have it spelled out for them. Most of the acting was bad. The plot was all over the place. The movie was hard to get through, and the heavy-handed dialogue proves that just because something is labeled "Christian" doesn't make it good, unless the message of movies are all that matter to you and you are a Christian. We feel cheated, because the opening scene was cool.  Grade: D 

Books: We read Moon Called by Patricia Briggs, which is the first in a series. The reason we read it was because we saw a reviewer call it "everything the Anita Blake books should be." Now, the Anita Blake books are entertaining reads with a LOT of problems (not the least of which being the main character turning into a super slut and the books having no plots halfway through the series), so a series that fixed those problems appealed to us. The main character of Moon Called, Mercy, can turn into a coyote because of some Native American blood. We were not enthused about this because that's not a very cool power. However, Mercy is a cool girl, even if it took her half a book to grow on us. She's less of a Mary Sue than Anita. Her neighbors are a pack of werewolves, a couple of witches, and a few vampires. We didn't see a lot of the vampires, but what we saw was good and creepy. The book started off entertaining, then it slowed to a crawl just before halfway through. Fortunately, it picked up and got entertaining again in the second half. We started to like the secondary characters and could see them being set up like pieces on what should be an entertaining chess board in subsequent books. There's a nice love triangle shaping up. We're team Adam so far. We're not obsessed with this series yet, but we will read another book. 
Grade: B

OLD SHOW ALERT:
Ern is watching Veronica Mars for the first time. She's 11 episodes in, and it's everything everyone says it is. It has a quick wit and snappy dialogue, Kristen Bell will win you over in at least the first couple of episodes, and you will actually care about the overarching plotlines. Bell plays the titular character, a high school girl who works for her PI dad. The show is so good that Ern doesn't even care when Veronica blatantly breaks laws that even PIs have to follow, as if she can't get in trouble. She's just that cool. This is one of those shows like Firefly and Arrested Development that no one watched (even though it got 3 seasons), but everyone should regret their decision that now that the DVDs are out to binge upon. We hear quality drops in season three, but we will tell you if it's worth watching in that final season. This show is smart, funny, and there is drama to spare. Don't you want to see what The O.C. would be like if it were a Twin Peaks-esque mystery instead of a soap opera? There's a gangster kid named WEEVIL. Weevil love you long time. There are a lot of great guest stars (except for Paris Hilton), including future Oscar nominee Jessica Chastain, Aaron Paul, Schmidt on New Girl (whom Leeard calls "Deputy Leo from Veronica Mars" when she watches New Girl), and Josh on Being Human. We recognize someone new every episode. This is one of Leeard's all-time favorite shows, with good reason. Ern is happy Leeard is making her watch it. Leeard is gloating, since she's been trying FOREVER to get Ern to watch it, and is finally vindicated.
Pilot grade: A-, Credit Where Credit's Due: A, Meet John Smith: B+, The Wrath of Con: A-, You Think You Know Somebody: B+, Return of the Kane: B, The Girl Next Door: B-, Like a Virgin: B+, Drinking the Kool-Aid: B+, An Echolls Family Christmas: A, and Silence of the Lamb: A-

Music:
Ern hates most country music, but has come around to Miranda Lambert due to Miranda's attitude about Chris Brown. Leeard notes, "Duh, Miranda Lambert music is good." Miranda is as not-ok with Brown's comeback as Ern is and said, "Where I come from, it's never OK to hit a woman...that's why my daddy taught me to use a shotgun early on." Amen. While Leeard still enjoys Brown's music, Ern thinks he forfeited the right to be famous and have his art heard when he hit a woman, even if Rihanna forgives him. Miranda held up a sign that said "take notes Chris Brown" during a performance of her song "Gunpowder and Lead." It's about a woman shooting an abusive husband. "I'm gonna show him what little girls are made of/gunpowder and lead." It's a good song, even to the ears of a country hater. Also, Ern has finally gotten the Mumford and Sons CD and it's good, especially the lyrics. Due to the Glee episode, we bought Young and the Giant's CD too. Also good.

There's a Light at the End of this Tunnel, Guys

Good news for those of you addicted to this blog: One of us sees a part in the clouds of schoolwork and anticipates that April-May will be lighter. This means daily posts are an option at that time. Until then, here’s your Monday summary. Yeah, we're behind on a few shows. 

Cougar Town - Ain't Love Strange: This show returned to a series low in the ratings. We were sad about that. It’s due to a tough time slot and no powerhouse lead-in like they had last year. That didn’t stop the show from turning in a premiere in its usual adorable, heartfelt style. We weren't digging Laurie's ankle monitor though. It felt like she would have told the gang the story right away, not in exposition in the episode.  
Episode grade: A-

Revenge - Chaos: Leeard was expecting (and wanting) the body to be Tyler, but Ern was completely surprised. Either way, bravo for the twist. In order to fool us, the show used a body double that looked sort of like Tyler and sort of like Daniel as the body that fell to the beach after being shot. We are really glad Revenge kept Daniel alive. One of us thought the Tyler stuff was getting a little too cheesy and overwrought, especially the scenes where he plotted with Emily. There was so much exposition that we expected him to break out in a cliché villain “muah haha.” Leeard hopes Tanaka doesn't kill Emily and is starting to like her.
Episode grade: A

Glee - Heart: Rachel’s dads were delightful, and we like the new Christian character. Ryan Murphy was jonesing for a Christian character so badly on The Glee Project that he was bound to name a Christian kid the winner. Now that he has his Christian, Ryan will be able to pick the most talented, awesome kids when The Glee Project returns. Yeah, we are still sore about Hanna losing. We also liked Quinn’s talk about Christianity and the Bible. For a crazy, flawed character, Quinn can manage to say sensible things when people need advice. She presented the other side of a common argument well. The show continues to avoid demonizing religious people while it pushes for tolerance of gay people. That’s quite a feat. We liked a lot of the songs and performances. It is eerie that Glee chose to do Whitney Houston’s famous song. The decision was made before Whitney died and the episode aired after Whitney’s death. Glee is psychic. That’s probably why it’s so crazy. We can’t believe we were sad for Karofsky. We are also surprised that Rory isn’t leaving! He was lying about his visa being denied. Does that mean Damian gets to be on the show longer than the few episodes he was promised? Strangely, Rachel Berry’s nighttime routine resembles Ern’s, only Ern’s is possibly more elaborate. Ern doesn’t do the ice thing though. That’s the height of insane, Rachel. 
Episode grade: B+

Glee First Listen Friday - Everything is a little forgettable except Blaine’s song, a cover of “Cough Syrup” by Young and the Giant/The Jakes. It’s a cool song. Blaine’s voice is too autotuned in it, but we still can’t decide if we like his cover or the original better. Rachel was given a song that didn’t fit her voice at all and the results were disappointing. The "Fly"/"I Believe I Can Fly" mash-up was ok. Ern is kind of over "I Believe I Can Fly". Leeard will never be.

The River - Los Ciegos: This show improves in its third week and is turning into a really fun show. A few of the characters got more sympathetic this episode, and there was some good humor. 
Episode grade: A-

Parenthood - Tough Love: Whoa, Julia. Being a paralegal is a hard job. They have to read well, pay attention to detail, and be extremely responsible. We love that Julia thinks Coffee Girl is that smart, but we think that’s a stretch. Fortunately for the legal profession, Coffee Girl did not apply. We love the aspect of Julia’s personality that just won’t let go of this girl, but we are bracing ourselves for a possible sad ending to this story. We can’t believe Amber was caught by Kristina so quickly. Haddie, you little rat! We are even more dismayed that Bob was such a pussy and let Kristina take her. They are both adults and the age disparity isn’t that great! Ugh, Kristina. We felt bad for Seth but not Drew in this episode. For some reason, we think Drew is too old to have this reaction. He has progressed to the age where he needs to work on being happy for his mother, getting along with his potential new stepdad, staying quiet about his feelings, and dealing with real life. Maybe we are being too harsh? Meh. 
Episode grade: B+

The Secret Circle - Return: Cassie's dad shows up at her house!! Then Cassie tells Adam, who says something like, "Then he's really alive?!" We wanted to hit him in the face for dumb ass-ery. It's been apparent for weeks. The audience knew in the pilot. Anyway, this episode was almost as good as last week's. The dad stuff did not disappoint. We're not sure we trust him, but we like him. We liked seeing Faye make out with a guy who wasn't Jake. Also, coma girl woke up. We'll see what that's about. 
Episode grade: A

The Vampire Diaries - All My Children: We have yet another Alaric death fake-out as a cliffhanger. Meredith shoots a gun in his direction. He'll live. He always does. We loved watching resourceful Elena face off against Rebekah, and it was nice to see Damon protecting his brother's returning humanity. Bonnie's mom is a vampire, yawn. Good job for fighting back, Elijah. Don't let this show take you from us again so quickly. This episode was fine, but it wasn't among this show's best. We weren't surprised by anything or particularly touched. 
Episode grade: B

Grey’s Anatomy - Have You Seen Me Lately?: Hey, you know what's awkward and sad? Watching Owen and Cristina in couples counseling. Owen is kind of jealous of Meredith, showing that he misses the point of this show, which is the friendship between Meredith and Cristina, DUH. You have to give them credit for trying with this marriage thing though. Lots of people would throw in the towel and no one would blame them, under these circumstances. Amy comes to Seattle Grace and tries to get her brother, Derek, to do a surgery. They do the surgery in the Private Practice hour (it's a crossover event), but we didn't care enough to watch Private Practice and see how it turned out. If someone else saw it, let us know. The good news this week is that Meredith and Callie might be friends now. Callie is going to help Meredith study after Meredith rocked a case where a man got his hand ground up in a meat grinder. Yuck. 
Episode grade: B

The Office - Tallahassee: The only time we laughed was during Jim's early-morning prank on Dwight. Part of the Scranton branch went down to Florida to design Sabre retail stores. Packer was there too. Dwight got appendicitis. Stanley is acting like this business trip is a month-long paid vacation. That's about it. We miss this show being hilarious.
Episode grade: C

Parks and Recreation - Dave Returns: First of all, Team Ben. Second, we also like Dave. He's so honest. We are still raising our eyebrows at the whole Ann/Ben thing, which is apparently still happening, but it was funny this episode. That song Andy wrote was appropriately hideous. Finally, we have exactly the same reaction to cops as Ben does: we never break the law, because we are terrified of cops. Ern can't even look at them when passing them on the street! 
Episode grade: A-

New Girl - Valentine: We got to see True Blood's Ryan Kwanten guest star as a guy Jess tries to have a one-night stand with. Jess's quest to "get some strange" ends badly. Wait, no, it ends adorable, because it ends with Nick dragging Jess to her bedroom when she contemplates sleeping with Schmidt. She brought an entire (and very large) box of condoms for the occasion. Guess who did sleep with Schmidt? No, not Leeard, even though he is her soulmate. Cece! We can't believe it, guys. This was a funny episode, but we don't really dig the one night stand topic. 
Episode grade: B+

Awake - Pilot: This episode is up on hulu, so you can watch it early, and you should. There isn't much here that wasn't shown in the preview, but we loved what was in the preview, so you can guess what we thought of the whole episode. The main triumph of the pilot is that we already care about the characters. We will be tuning into the second episode when it airs in March. This show reminds us a little of Journeyman, only we care more. Sadly, it seems like just the thing that could be cancelled well before it's time. NBC loves to give us great shows that don't hit it out of the ballpark, ratings-wise. With this show, we just hope there is a satisfying conclusion to what will probably be a short run. 
Episode grade: A

Modern Family - Aunt Mommy: We haven't been mentioning this show in the last couple of weeks, because most episodes are the same. People are saying this show is stuck in a rut and we agree. At least it's a relatively funny rut. However, this episode had some pleasing factors that made it stick out. For once, Cam and Mitchell's plotline didn't involve them having a fight/bickering. We got to see multiple characters drunk. The only thing that could have made this episode better would be if we had gotten to see Luke try to reanimate that dead squirrel. Even though Modern Family refuses to give us something that feels new, it's still a funny show.
Episode grade: B+

Happy Endings - Everybody Loves Grant: One of us watched this episode yesterday when she had a fever and no energy, and this show still managed to pull some chuckles out of the haze that was that day. Dave trying to be "the cool guy" made him the MVP of the night. If you like this show, you probably liked this episode. 
Episode grade: B+

Pan Am - 1964 (and the series as a whole): Well, this show wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it had a nice little (probably) close to the series. We were left with Kate moving up in the CIA, Laura and Ted are in love (and one of us is so glad we didn't have to see Ted tell her that Amanda is pregnant), Dean and Collette are on the road to reconciliation, and Maggie is by herself. While we can kind of see hints of where the show would go if it's given a second season (Collette's search for her brother, Laura and Ted trying to figure out their relationship, Kate becoming an actual spy, Maggie hopefully dying), we think that 1964 works as a decent series finale. Pan Am was a nice diversion, but we won't miss it too much.
Episode grade: B
Series grade: C

Casting news: The Good Wife didn’t have a new episode this week, but news emerged that Matthew Perry will join the show as a lawyer who is trying to win over Alicia. Alicia and Bing-a-ling? We really don’t see it, but we like the idea of Alicia getting another love interest. Breaking Bad’s Giancarlo Esposito will play a business associate of Pierce’s dead dad on Community. We’re sure it will be perfect and hilarious, like that show always is.

Books - The White Devil: If nothing else, this book will make you deathly afraid of getting TB. The White Devil is a ghost story featuring an American teenager who has to go to a British boarding school. If you are familiar with Lord Byron as a historical figure or as a poet, you will enjoy this book a lot more than your average reader. This book was entertaining, for the most part, there was good writing, and it had some really creepy moments. But it never grabbed us and we will forget about the characters by the next week. 
Book grade: C+

As for movies, we re-watched Warrior, which is the best movie of 2011 that you never saw. Yeah, some of it isn't very original, but it is so intense Ern almost had a panic attack watching it, there's lots of emotion, you care about the characters, and it's never boring. Even if you aren't interested in MMA or fighting as a topic, you should give this one a shot. Grade: A We also saw The Other Woman with Natalie Portman. Despite mixed reviews, we enjoyed it enough that we're glad we watched it. Grade: B- Then, finally, one of us saw The Paper Chase. Like a typical law student, Ern nearly screamed at the end when the main character did what he did (no spoilers here, but if you've seen it, you know what we mean). How could he do that?!! We would NEVER do that. Also, plenty of Ern's law professors are just as bad as Kingsfield, seriously. Grade: B