The Good Wife - Long Way Home

We’re kind of sick of Mr. Sweeney. We don’t like him and would boo him too. We usually like when old guests come back to this show, but not with this guy. We can’t believe any woman who looks like Morena Baccarin would sleep with him. Too obvious? Psh. He’s so arrogant that he sat and verbally evaluated her blowjob skills to his lawyers. Dude, in real life, that woman wouldn’t touch you, even if she were a hooker on a Firefly. In all fairness, she liked Marshall on How I Met Your Mother, but Marshall you are not.

We are also annoyed with how Caitlin kept getting pats on the back for timidly doing simple-ass things. Geneva needs to go and take her white guilt-inducing statements with her. Kalinda and Alicia had a nice, friendly exchange in the beginning of the episode! Please, please let them become friends again. Bebe Neuwirth guest starred as the judge on Sweeney’s lawsuit, and we love her because of Broadway and Frasier and her fabulousness. At what age will she not be beautiful in that cold, unique way? Grey’s Anatomy’s Ellis Grey was opposing counsel, and it’s nice to see her playing someone less mean and crazy. 

No, Kalinda, waitresses don’t have the best gossip. Hairdressers do. And in order to keep that short cut, Morena would have to go to the hairdresser a LOT. If Kalinda were as good as the media say she is, she would have gone to the hairdresser. Meh, she found the info anyway. We're not sure why the show is having Alicia go through real estate problems, but we trust the show and know that it end up serving a real, plot-driving purpose.

We love how well this show knows the rules of evidence. Not only that, the show understands them. No other shows and movies seem to be aware that these even exist. The rules of evidence keep lawyers from saying and doing anything they want in court. It can also keep them from dramatic speeches that are the staple of other shows. It can also keep them from looking cool. This is the rare show when having legal knowledge will actually help you follow the show, rather than just ruin the show because you know how ridiculous it is. We can’t emphasize that enough. This show must have (good) staff lawyers or crackerjack researchers. 

Once again, we want Alicia’s red jackets and yet wonder if they would be professional in the real legal world. Alicia is the best mentor in the world and Caitlin doesn’t deserve her. Go ahead and quit. Caitlin just has no gumption and no pizzazz. She’s like a little mouse, devoid of personality and balls. Go get married and have a baby, Caitlin. She is right that she doesn’t have to prove anything though. There’s nothing wrong with staying home and raising a kid. Does this mean we will get a new associate character? We like the way the show handled this issue and stated that women broke the glass ceiling for just this reason: so women could have choice without shame.

We liked that Alicia was honest in court and didn’t try to elicit more lies from Sweeney. “It’s a bad economy for ideals” is a good quote. We also love Cary for coming clean to Peter. He really is a good guy and we hope he gets Caitlin’s job. He has never been hotter, and he was already hot. Honesty really turns us on, and it also makes us respect characters, especially when they are lawyers. Sweeney’s kid is adorable. Can that mother please keep him away from Sweeney? Ugh, we guess not. Raised by both of them, that kid is going to become such a liar. Alicia’s tour through her old house was surprisingly affecting for viewers with no memory of it. Finding the height chart was predictable though.

Do you guys know who Emerson Spartz is? The founder of Mugglenet.com? Come on, we know we have some hardcore HP fandom here. Well, Alicia’s son looks just like Emerson (who wrote on Ern’s facebook wall….TWICE, making those two days the highlight of Ern’s young life. Emerson is so dreamy). This show is pretty much always good. We argue over whether it is CBS' only quality show. Leeard likes to make a case for How I Met Your Mother and Two Broke Girls deserving the title of "quality CBS shows," but Ern suspects it's because Leeard doesn't watch The Good Wife. Yet. She intends to.

Episode grade: B+