Pretty Little Liars - If These Dolls Could Talk

What Happened -

Byron and Ella conspire to send Aria to boarding school to get Aria away from Ezra and the mysterious bully threatening their daughter. Aria does not take this lying down, threatening to call the college and tell them about her father’s affair with a student. Ella chastises Aria for betraying her family, but Aria’s threat works. Her parents back down. We kind of love it, even though everything Ella said about how horrible it was is true. Aria goes to Ezra’s and has sex with him. Yep, they finally, for sure boned. Ezra tells Aria that he has to move away in order to find a new teaching job because he was fired by the college.

Jenna took the bandage off her eye and pretended that she couldn’t see, but the surgery worked! She apologized to the Liars and gave Toby the missing page to Ali’s autopsy report, telling Toby that Garrett asked her to hide it. When Toby gives this to the police, Garrett (who is dating Melissa, by the way) is arrested for murdering Alison.

Spencer saw Alison in a dream, and Alison said that Spencer was on the right track. Mona gets a text from A, telling her to break up Caleb and Hanna. Mona tells Hanna, and the two, Caleb, and Emily hatch a plan to fake a break up attempt. Caleb agrees to let Melissa see him making out with Mona, even though he still hates them. Hanna gets a text from A about the make-out session, further incriminating Melissa in the girls’ eyes.

The girls go to the doll repair shop and meet the old lady who owns it, as well as her son, Seth, who is psychic. Seth knows how Alison died and has seen A. The old lady stops Seth from giving the Liars any information. The girls go back to the shop to talk to Seth and walk around the dark, closed doll shop, looking at the creepy dolls. They hear a robot voice say, “Follow me, end up like me.” They follow the voice to a doll version of Alison, complete with fake blood, dirt, and a shovel in her hand. Things start to move, shelves fall down, and the girls run, rather than see who is knocking the dolls down. These girls need a sack and a gun. Leeard disagrees; she is just impressed no one (visibly) peed her pants like she would have. We find out that A has Seth and the old lady under his/her employ.

Comments -

This was probably the creepiest episode yet. We miss you, Ali. We didn’t really register before that Ali and Spencer were like sisters. We liked Spencer’s dream, even though we usually dislike dream sequences. LOST dreams were another exception to that rule. We like when things are obvious dreams and not fake-outs. We don’t miss YOU, Maya. Maya is a bigger bitch than ever. She seriously thought that Emily wouldn’t tell Maya’s parents that she was alright? Emily is nice and wouldn’t let a couple worry like that. We did not miss the nauseating sight of Ezra and Aria making out, but the good news this week is that Ern has finally realized how awesome Ashley Marin is. (Leeard Sidenote: FINALLY!)

It was funny that Creepy Jenna said she wanted Toby’s face to be the first thing she saw, but then she took off her bandage while staring at a mirror. We know who she really loves, haha. Ern is mildly impressed with Jenna. Yeah, she’s a rapist, but she infinitely interesting and she has guts. We admired Jenna’s attempt to move forward with the Liars and let go of her grudges (if it was sincere), and we were sorry that her surgery didn’t work. Then Ern was blown away by the revelation that she was pretending to still be blind. What a great twist. Leeard guessed that she was faking.

Mona is looking more and more like A, but she could just be a red herring for clever people who suspect everyone nice. We really hope it isn’t her. It’s not out-there enough and we don’t think it would satisfy. However, we do think that the text Mona got didn't really sound like the A we know, so maybe she's faking it to get back to being best friends with Hanna? That creepy little kid at the doll repair shop has an unbelievably good memory. We were like, “Why does this show have magical realism now? It’s creepy enough without psychics.” But then we found out that A was working with the doll store people and probably told Seth about Alison, Garrett, and Jenna. Aria was completely out of line to threaten her father, and Ella coming down hard on her was necessary. Leeard was liking angry Aria though. She had more personality. What IS Aria’s personality? She’s the most normal, uninteresting person on TV. We love how little Caleb wanted to make out with Mona, even for Hanna’s benefit. Mona has amazing eyes though. Or amazing eye makeup. Possibly both.

The scene where the girls went back to the doll repair shop was great. We loved the Alison doll’s voice. Ezra told Aria, “Do you have any idea how much I love you,” and instead of boning him, she should have replied, “Yeah, apparently not as much as you love teaching.” Whatever. He will be back, like a weed you keep pulling. At least Garret is polite enough not to drink in front of a pregnant woman. Do you think he really killed Alison? Are the person who killed Alison and A one and the same? Does anyone think A is Noel Kahn, Toby, or Mrs. Hastings? If it were Ezra, we’d fall down and worship this show.

Next week we actually do find out who A is. We can’t believe it! We were thinking about looking at a full list of the PLL characters and analyzing each person, narrowing down the possibilities. But we don’t really want to guess. We want to be surprised.

Episode Grade: A