Once Upon a Time season one finale - A Land Without Magic

Spoiler warning. And enjoy our new favorite font, b*tches.

True love is the power that returns all that which is lost. ISN’T THAT JUST FREAKING BEAUTIFUL? No sarcasm. All we wanted from this finale was for Emma to find out and believe the truth. We got that in the first few minutes. Then this show went on to give us everything we ever could have asked for.

Magic is coming back to Storybrooke! Rumpy is finally the main villain! We actually thought Henry might be dead for like half a second! Snow and Charming are back together! A bad ass mom fights a dragon! Everyone remembers who they are! The Mad Hatter releases Belle and turns Gold against Regina! Belle and Rumpy reunite! August turned to wood completely! L Was there anything else the finale could have given us? No. Not really. We are totally and completely satisfied, as well as ready for season two to start.

We loved seeing Maleficent get her due. She got to be the big dragon we remember from Sleeping Beauty. The finale brought back most of the characters we actually like and put them at the forefront. We even got to see Graham again. We felt bad for Regina when she lost Henry like that. August’s fate remains unknown. When the curse was broken by Emma, did his wooden self change back? We will have to wait and see, but we think he did.

This is what we want from season two: MORE Rumpelstiltskin, August, Red Riding Hood, Abigail/Kathryn, Gretel, her dad, Grumpy, Belle, Mad Hatter, Dr. Whale, and Baelfire. LESS Jiminy Cricket, Cinderella, Blue Fairy (we hate her when she’s a nun too), Hansel, Sidney Glass/Magic Mirror (your role on Breaking Bad was way better, Giancarlo), and King George. All of those people can just freaking die for all we care. We’re pretty neutral on Snow and Charming. They serve a purpose. Without them, who would say, “You found me” and “I will find you” ten thousand times? We really wish Charming would stick with the name “David.” Leeard likes Henry; Ern hates him and wishes the show had the balls to kill him. In all fairness, while Leeard would've mourned Henry all summer, she would've respected the balls it would've taken to kill him off.

We still hate that Jennifer Morrison is the lead actress, but even she can’t ruin this fun, family friendly show. It will be something we get our kids into once they are old enough to appreciate it. It’s rare to have something on TV that parents and kids can both enjoy. We liked Emma’s line, “Well, it’s raining like a bitch. Where is it?” We didn’t like when she trusted Rumpelstiltskin with the egg. It’s RUMPELFREAKINGSTILTSKIN. Haven’t you heard the stories, woman? Don’t you have a supposed superpower that tells you when someone is lying/tricking you?

We hope for more Regina too, but we also hope that the show gets her motives clearer and more realistic next time. Her reasons for hating Snow were just lame and irrational. Did any other LOST fans notice that the clock stopped on 8:15? Until fall, then! And remember kids: Kiss your dead people. It’s worth a shot.

Season grade: B+

Finale grade: A

The Vampire Diaries finale: Stunning. And We're Stunned.

I, Ern, just bombed a test nastier than I ever have before. What do you know? All-nighters really don't work. Relax Dad, if you’re reading. I can still fail one class and graduate. I think you should be more concerned that you are reading a Vampire Diaries post. Anyway, I should still be in the test room, but I went ahead and finished it quickly and turned it in an hour earlier than normal. If you don’t know the answers, there’s no sense in sitting around mooning over the choices. The professor raped me in the brownhole (this blog gets gross when Leeard isn’t around to stop me, haha). The test was tricksy and false.

So The Vampire Diaries finale is just what the doctor ordered to sooth the buzzing, sad brain. Leeard is three weeks behind, and we really can’t wait for her to catch up now, can we? No. Not on a show this important. So, writing while I watch: Holy crap, how slutty was Elena’s cheerleading uniform back in the day? I knew right away that it was a flashback because a) it was grainy, b) the flashbacks have been advertised to death on sites we frequent, and c) Elena seemed really happy jamming to P!nk. Tooooo happy.

Momma Gilbert, you look young and beautiful. Life is unfair. She looks like Pocahontas. Evil Alaric is just what the doctor ordered. It really wasn’t that sad when his real self was turned. We know everyone else sobbed, but he’s “died” so many times, and the writers didn’t seem to know what to do with his character for most of the show, and it’s always possible that they will bring his real self back with magic, because it’s this show.

Flashback time! Matt and Elena have chemistry. If she doesn’t want him, I’ll take him. He is quite the little hottie. Mmmhmm. As soon as Stefan rushed in and embraced Elena, I thought that she would choose Damon at the end of this episode. Then Elijah showed up and this episode got even more awesome. It was already going really well too. Jeremy, I’m starting to hate you. What a whiner! My hate was earlier reserved for Bonnie, but Jeremy is in the running for that hate. There can only be one worst, and it is Jeremy. Alaric says something to Jeremy, but I can’t process it, because my brain is that fried.

I take a break to get a sandwich. Elena and Elijah strike a deal. I can’t hear what it is, but I’m sure it won’t work out anyway. It’s too early in the episode for successful strategies. I was loudly eating chips and there were no subtitles available on hulu yet (curses!) Jeremy redeems himself by tricking Evil Alaric. Bonnie is the worst again. Caroline is the best. It was so sweet when she and Tyler planned to run away together. That made me think Tyler was totally going to die. Why didn’t Evil Alaric kill Damon in the storage facility? Is there a smidgen of bromance left in him, or is he just dumb? Go ahead and kill enemies when you have the opportunity even if they aren’t really a threat! Future evil overlords, refer to this.

Back to Elena and Matt: Elena moans about being an orphan and not being able to choose between two of the hottest guys on TV. Wah wahhh wahhhh. I love you, Elena, but shut your pie hole. MATT, I WILL MARRY YOU!!! Even if you drug and abduct girls. It's not like she didn't deserve it. Back to Alaric walking around the storage unit, looking for Klaus. That stake looks like it’s covered in tinfoil. Great job, prop design. Rebekah! No! Not Rebekah! We love her. Damon wakes up and saves her, but Klaus dies. Wow, I’m surprised. And sad. Now he won’t be able to take Caroline around the world. Oh well, there’s always fanfiction. Evil Alaric goes off to kill more Originals, leaving Damon alive AGAIN. Show, why are you being lazy with this?

Things get serious when Damon and Stefan think it’s possible that they might die. Psh, no way. There is very little tension at this point in the episode. BUT THEN, Damon asks Elena who she would choose to say goodbye to if she could only say it to one Salvatore. She tells Damon that she loves Stefan. Yep, she is so picking Damon at the end of the episode. She tells Damon that she has to let him go, but if she had met him first, it might have been different. Stelena fans briefly rejoice! Evil Alaric comes back to kill Damon. Caroline finds Tyler, cries, and hugs him, knowing that Klaus is dead. Can it be? Holy moly! Tyler! And now Caroline has no male options. Tyler wisely tells Caroline to lie to his mom for him. Aww.

Then he starts coughing and turning into a werewolf. Caroline tries to stay, but runs. It’s sad, but my eyes remain dry. This show has only made me cry once, and it was in the season three premiere when Stefan called Elena to the background sounds of “A Drop in the Ocean.” (Sidenote: seriously, that was a beautiful song choice.) And that was only a general mistiness too. Matt loses it when he hears the news about Tyler’s “death.” At this point, I’m thinking he’s not going to die. I KNEW IT! Bonnie used magic to save everyone. Of course. There need to be some solid rules for Bonnie’s magic from now on. As long as she can undo anything, there are no stakes on this show. You don’t get a trump card to bail everyone out of trouble if you are a good writer. You just don’t. You have to make rules of magic and stick with them. Put limits on their powers. I didn't really know why Tyler lied to Caroline and pretended to be dying. Why was the spell a secret? And then I got there: Klaus and Tyler switched bodies, and Bonnie is apparently NOT Miss Perfect anymore. She is no longer the worst. There is no worst. I now love everyone on this show.

Now things get real. Rebekah wants to get rid of Evil Alaric and the easiest way to do that is to kill Elena. Crash. Flashback. Meanwhile, Damon is being beaten by Evil Alaric. Like a real supervillain, he monologues a bit. Flashback. Elena DID meet Damon first! Interesting. And kind of cool. We see both submerged cars, present and future. These people do NOT know how to break windows or even come close, do they? The doors don’t open, and that’s a shame. I start getting really worried for Matt, but then Stefan comes and saves him. Elena sits there and doesn’t swim out. Come on! She starts dying, so Evil Alaric starts dying. Damon is concerned for both his friend and Elena.

Real Alaric appears to Jeremy as a ghost! Awww, we get to see his real self one last time. This was emotional. I almost cried, but I sucked it up. Then- WHAT WHAT WHAT?!! WHAT?!! Physician-assisted temporary suicide? How? And she didn’t pick Damon at the end? Is Matt alive? (In an interview with Julie Plec, these things were said: “And just checking: Matt did survive, right? Answer: I think for Matt to not survive that after everything would be just too damn tragic.” Thank you, Lord.)

I will kill this show. I just wanted more! It was beautifully shot and exciting and everything, but I was so unsatisfied by this ending and cliffhanger that I could have ripped my own arm off in anger. 

Fortunately, I waited about two seconds and it clicked (Jeez, I’m slow today): Elena is a vampire. Yesssssss! Now she can be bad ass. She has to kill to survive, and obviously she will. Overall, this was a mind**** that completely breathed new life into this show. I am still processing it. How is being a vampire going to change Elena’s character? Obviously, since she's the main character, she'll transition, but she and Stefan had that beautiful discussion back in the first season (or maybe second) about how she doesn't want to become a vampire, so there has to be some debate, right? Since vampires feel more, is her “consuming” desire for Damon going to get the better of her? Please God Leeard hopes so. I need to go lie down.

Episode grade: A+

Season grade: B+ (first half A, second half full of dumb plots and characters running in circles. But who are we kidding? Leeard is going to come back and change this grade, haha)

----I'm sure you'll all be relieved to know that I passed that test, lol. Never been so happy to get a D+! And yes, I'm more into gifs now. What gave it away?----

Parks and Recreation finale perfection

We know, we know. We are supposed to be reacting to either the Secret Circle or Vampire Diaries finales. But first, Parks and Recreation. Leeard has literally never seen another full episode, but she watched the season four finale and cried anyway. Ern, who hardly ever cries (dry-eyed when Denny died on Grey's Anatomy, for example), especially in shows like Parks and Rec, cried too. How freaking precious was every second of that finale? This show is so perfect. If you haven't seen it yet, Treat Yo Self. But don't start with season one or at least give it a chance way past season one. The tone and humor of the show changes for the better in season two.

Ern was actually expecting different election results through the whole episode. The season set it up to where it could have gone a different way. In fact, they shot two endings and the writers themselves didn't know who would win until the Christmas episode. They debated it with Amy Poehler too. Based on just the episode, Leeard predicted the results. Hopefully Paul Rudd and Kathryn Hahn come back at some point. They are both hilarious (and gorgeous). The second half of the season was superior to the first, but overall, we couldn't be much happier with this show's fourth season.

Finale grade: A
Season grade: A-

Cougar Town saved! (and other news about other shows/our reactions)

If you haven't heard already, today TBS saved Cougar Town from cancellation and has bought all the rights to it. There will be another season of the show. We love when this happens, and we can think of no more deserving show. Thank you, TBS!

Lots of other shows have been renewed and cancelled, but we haven't gotten around to talking about it yet. Stupid exams! Alcatraz has been cancelled, and you know what? We don't care. Yeah, we watched and covered it a lot, but it was more due to the possibility that it could get good. It wasn't actually good yet. The pilot and one other episode were good, but mostly it deserves scorn. The Finder was also cancelled, to the joy of Ern and the mild disappointment of Leeard.

30 Rock was renewed for one more season. This is good. The show needs to start coming in for a landing, but it shouldn't end this year. Parenthood was renewed! Amazing, amazing, amazing. Love that show. Touch was renewed as well. When it came out of the gate, we really liked it, but we aren't sure the sweet concept is working out well, long-term. We hope this show does its homework and fixes its problems for the second season.

The Vampire Diaries unsurprisingly got another season, and can we say "rejoice?" Rejoice. Supernatural has also been renewed, and we have finally started watching it. We are done with season one. Ern thinks it's cheesy as heck but is willing to keep watching it. We also need to catch up on Person of Interest. We got behind, but it's been renewed, so we need to give it attention.

Grey's Anatomy is near deals with a few main characters who were at risk of leaving. We will put their names in the comments so that you aren't spoiled as to who might be staying for the next two years. Shonda confirmed a while ago that a character will be dying horribly in this year's finale. We will put our guess for that death in the comments as well.

Finally, a commenter has just informed us that Community was renewed today. This is not surprising, but we are concerned that there will only be 13 episodes. How can we survive with only 13 episodes?

P.S. We are seeing The Avengers tomorrow. Wooo hooo.

---Update---
ABC Renewed: Grey's, Revenge, Castle, Once Upon a Time, The Middle, Suburgatory, and Modern Family. No surprises there.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Sooo, we usually love Oscar movies and agree with the critics, but Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy was pretty darn boring, especially for a spy thriller. This blogger wishes she had studied for her defamation final instead. That would have been more interesting. The pacing of this movie was glacial. It had a great cast and good performances, and the story was alright (if you could follow it), but it was two hours long, sometimes confusing, and emotionless.

They called this a thriller, but we felt nothing. It looks great though. We didn’t care about the characters or the outcome. This was disappointing, because we both like Gary Oldman and we were looking forward to this movie hitting our mailboxes via Netflix. We feel like the book was probably better. At least we got to see Tom Hardy. He’s even hot with blond-ish ‘70s hair. If you decide to see this movie, we recommend turning off the lights, putting away your computers and cell phones, and concentrating on the movie fully.

This isn’t something you can enjoy with half your attention span. We had to rewind a couple of scenes to understand what was going on, and we’re not dummies/we’re overeducated. Also, we guessed who the mole was pretty much instantly, and that sort of ruined things. If you really love spy movies, 70s period pieces, or people walking through streets paired with somber voiceovers, give it a shot. If not, we recommend you skip this one. Now, if you will excuse us, we have to go get some coffee in order to come out of the coma this movie caused.

Movie grade: C-

Ok, "Girls" has fully won us over

It's so real and awkward, and every episode is better than the last. Plus, we found out that the 25-year-old star of the show also writes it. Um, you have enough talent there, Ms. Dunham? The fourth episode was adorable.

We are fans and we are so glad it is getting a second season, because it's a show that definitely has to grow on you. We don't recommend it to people who dislike sex scenes, raunch, and imperfect characters though.

Listen to the Glee graduation album early here

http://perezhilton.com/2012-05-07-glee-graduation-album-listen-tracklisting-songs/?from=top-headline#.T6kdbuhDuSo

We like "Edge of Glory" and "You Get What You Give" (so true). We both hate and like "We Are the Champions".

The Good Wife finale

Is it just us, or was this finale kind of lame for a good show?  The Good Wife had its best season yet, in our opinions. But it left us hanging in ways that were both unsatisfying and not that shocking. We aren't that intrigued by the Kalinda/FBI/tax stuff on The Good Wife. It's weird that she has a dangerous husband and we are anxious to meet him though. Overall, we'd the season an A and the finale a B-.

Girls: First Impressions

What it’s about: Hannah Horvath is trying to live in New York City after her parents cut her off. She has three female friends, and they don’t have life figured out yet either. It sounds like Sex and the City, only these are girls, not women. These characters are 22-25. This is a comedy and Judd Apatow is tied to it, which is surprising because it’s not at all like his movies. The titular girls are Hannah Horvath, Jessa (the British girl), Shoshanna (her cousin), and Marnie (the level-headed one with the boyfriend she doesn’t love). The show is 30 minutes per episode and is billed as a comedy, but it’s not our idea of a usual comedy. Maybe it’s a really dry comedy without jokes. An ironic comedy.

What we think of it so far: We had heard hideous things about this show. It's been getting heat for only featuring white girls and for depicting selfish twenty-somethings who don't have a lot in the way of wisdom. One of our friends posted a facebook status that said it was one of the worst shows ever. But we found it to be relatable. Maybe too relatable. It’s sort of nauseating as a 20-something girl to see these girls struggling through exactly what we are trying not to think about on a daily basis. Someone even mentions student loans and getting a job at McDonalds (which Ern would absolutely do). This is a realistic show. That can be a strength and a weakness. We go to TV for distraction, not to have it hold up a mirror.

Our stage in life isn’t covered that much on TV. There are lots of shows about career women and high school girls. There have been a few about college women and there was Friends, but those were older 20-somethings. The girls are not beautiful. They aren’t ugly by any means, but they are pretty average. Two of them are attractive. Ern likes this. We have enough good looking people on TV and enough good looking people having sex on HBO. Also, it makes them even more relatable. We aren’t uggos, but Vogue sure isn’t begging to photograph us.

Less relatable (for us) is all the sex, which is mostly devoid of any respect or even any fun. We hope this isn’t the sex our peers allow themselves to have. If you’re going to have sex, at least make sure you enjoy it, ladies. The show is peppered with references to our current culture (like vision boards, Twitter, and Kelly Clarkson). This show isn’t for everyone, and we’re concerned that if you aren’t a woman between the ages of 23-28, you’re not going to get it. It’s a smart show, but it’s not a crowd-pleaser. It's not super-eventful either. If you can relate to the show, you'll probably be too bummed and filled with ennui to watch it. If you can't relate, then you won't get it at all.

The writing is good and observant. We like the way the characters seem to be aware of their shortcomings, unlike Carrie Bradshaw and her friends who were just spoiled, wealthy sitting ducks for the viewers to pick apart. We just think the show needs to add a touch more sweetness, fun, and maybe some more conventional humor. Overall, we are going to keep watching this one for a while. 

It’s unlike anything else that’s ever been on TV and it definitely thinks it has something to say about our generation. Because it’s so unique, we feel like it’s going to grow on us. Our grades support that theory. Once the show covers the obligatory sex/pregnancy/job hunt ground and gets into the strong characters and their relationships, we think it is going to get really good. It's been renewed for a second season, so it's safe to commit and see where this weird, controversial little show is going to take us. We have a feeling this is going to be a cult thing. 

Comments on each episode:

Pilot

We sympathized with Hannah right away. One of us is about to get pushed out of the nest (the other has been hanging mostly out of it for a while), and when you don’t have a job yet, in this economy, it’s scary. It’s not that people in their 20s want to live off their parents out of laziness; it’s that the jobs just aren’t there right now. And her boss was awful! We felt really bad for her after she slept with that douche actor guy. He was the worst. Ever. Possibly the worst guy on TV of all time. At that point, we were hoping to see a nice guy who wasn’t totally whipped and lame. We liked the British girl, Jessa, but we were afraid that we weren’t going to like Hannah very much. She seemed a tad pathetic. She needs to fill out a McDonalds application and not steal from housekeeping. 
Episode grade: B-

Vagina Panic

Hannah is still sleeping with that tool. If any man’s fantasy was that we were 11 while he was inside us, we would toss him out. The show gave us our first laugh when Hannah said, “That was so good. I almost came” without a trace of sarcasm. Jessa is doing drugs, even though she is pregnant, and getting an abortion. So that’s nice. So far, we kind of like Hannah’s clothes. Oh man, when she made that date rape joke in her interview, we cringed so hard. Painful. Then we find out that Jessa is not actually pregnant. That actually IS nice. Why is everyone so shocked to see a near-22-year-old virgin? It’s not that rare! Dang. Make virgins all feel like freaks, why don’t you? Hannah, jeez, stop making awkward jokes. Stop talking about AIDS! You peaked comedically with date rape! It was sweet when the doctor said, “You could not pay me enough to be 24 again.” We guess that’s the point of this show. It’s hard to be that young, clueless, and insecure. We know, show. We know.
Episode grade: B

All Adventurous Women Do

Marnie’s boyfriend looks way better with his head shaved. Douche actor is STILL on this show. Ugh, seriously? He’s encouraging her to lose weight. We can’t complain too much because our only actual chuckles from this show happen when he is around. We caught his name this week. It’s Adam. The episode threw in a near-PSA about HPV. Damn, one of us has to get that shot… We may not be boning anyone, but even if we wait until marriage, our husband probably won’t and we can get it from him. Jessa has a job watching children, so there’s that. We knew Elijah was going to be gay, so that wasn’t a surprise or particularly interesting. It was funny where they took the conversation though. “Nice to see you. Your dad is gay.” The little dancing scene at the end was cute.
Episode grade: B+

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As for NYC-22, we hear that it's about two seconds from being cancelled right out of the gate, and it's supposed to be just another cop show. We already have Southland and Rookie Blue in our lives, and it has just been renewed for a fifth season! Yay! If NYC-22 gets picked up for a second season, then we will watch it. But for now, we don't have time for shows that have no chance of sticking around.

Exam Time Is Upon Us, So We're Having Another Hiatus

We will be studying hard until May 13 (well, until May 3rd for one of us). We may post occasionally before May 13, but not regularly/daily. We will be sure to write make-up posts on the episodes we missed.

New Girl - Tomatoes recap/review

What Happened - Jess runs into Ouli at the gym’s steam room. Ouli hugs her, naked, and Jess is so weirded out that her awkwardness gets the better of her. In order to quash it, Jess invites Ouli to dinner with her and Russell. At dinner, Jess notices that Ouli and Russell are two seconds away from having hate sex. They burn with passion, even if it’s mostly negative. Jess tries to annoy Russell into feeling similar things about her, but that just ticks him off. Jess breaks up with Russell because they don’t have enough passion.

Nick is upset that his year has been filled with heartbreak, so he devotes his time to a new hobby: planting tomatoes. The birds ruin that and Nick ends up sleeping with Caroline. Jess comes home to find Caroline in the apartment and has the kind of preschool fight with Nick of which she has obviously been dreaming. CeCe tells Schmidt that they need to take a break after the pregnancy scare. Schmidt sleeps with CeCe’s roommate and she breaks his penis. CeCe confesses to Schmidt that she likes him, so it looks like they are back together.

Comments - Winston in love is boring. Nick’s tomatoes kept him too sidelined. The stuff with Ouli and Russell was neither original nor particularly funny. Schmidt nearly the episode by dating the Russian model (at least until he broke his penis because we’ve seen that on Grey’s Anatomy). Nadia needs to make a few return appearances so that she can be creepy and say weird, foreign things. She shouldn’t come back too much though. Less is more with her. It’s weird that Jess wanted to be more like Ouli and annoy Russell a more. That relationship didn’t work and he’s grown out of it.

Jess acting like a seven-year-old is not going to inspire passion. We knew Russell and Jess had to end, but that was kind of an immature reason to end it. It seemed too quick and out of left field. Of course, the obvious lesson is that Nick and Jess fight, therefore they have passion. We are okay with this lesson. The fight between Jess and Nick was really cute and the highlight of the episode. Ern knows someone who is just like Schmidt in every way. It’s better on TV, haha.

Episode grade: B

Glee- Dance with Somebody review

Nearly everyone has stopped caring what happens in this show, but there is still music, so we still watch. How Will I Know was beautiful. We liked the way they slowed it down. It might have been the best song of the episode, so it’s a shame it came so early in the episode. We had already seen it in sneak previews, but still. Ern is over Blaine. When he did Teenage Dream and When I Get You Alone, she loved him. However, as soon as he got rid of the Warblers backing him and the super cool song arrangements, Ern realized that he was over-autotuned and often comes across as douche-y. We will always love Darren Criss from A Very Potter Musical, but on Glee? Meh. However, it was so sad when Blaine found out about the flirty texts.

Kurt was being a selfish little baby. We kind of like that. We hate when this show makes Kurt a saint every week. This week and religion week, we got to see Kurt mess up. It’s like Kurt doesn’t actually love Blaine or like Chandler; he just needs someone to make him feel nice about himself. If you’d throw away a real relationship for your ego getting stroked by compliments, we don’t know what to tell you except that we guess it’s pretty common these days.

It’s Not Right, But It’s Ok was…okay. This show needs to scoop up Pip, who was recently ousted from The Voice, so that they can have a guy singer on this show that doesn’t need a computer to make him listenable. We find it unbelievable that Darren Criss would be able sing over the Glee club in the background and the musicians without a microphone. Leeard will always love Darren Criss, due to hotness. I Wanna Dance with Somebody was adorable and perfect.

Quinn started out with a good attitude, but Artie ruined it by bumming her out and making her see his version of reality. The doctors said she had a chance for a full recovery soon. She should have stuck with that belief for a while. Ryan Murphy seems happy to have his Christian character that he always wanted. Of course, in order to be acceptable in entertainment, a Christian who is nice usually either has to be black or a simpleton. Joe is a simpleton, but he’s sweet. We like the emphasis on deeds and not just words with him.

Quinn is actually the most fully realized Christian character. She started out mean and hypocritical, but after she went through all her drama, she came back wise and nonjudgmental, yet still Christian. Saving All My Love was a little boring. Dreds are gross, but Joe is sweet, so we are rooting for him and Quinn. So Emotional brought it. We liked the Santana/Rachel pairing, since we like both those voices. They meshed better than we thought they would. Sidenote in the middle of a paragraph that really has no theme anyway: This show needs to be FUNNY again. Remember when this show was funny?

You know what we’ve stopped caring about? Emma and Will getting married. Yawn and snore. We laughed pretty hard when we realized that moving the wedding date was because Will wanted the Glee kids at his wedding. Then he started crying about it. Dear Lord, we hate this show. At least Sue wasn’t on it this week.  We’re glad that we finally saw Burt Hummel again, because he remains the best. I Have Nothing was a sweet song choice, lyrically, but we would much rather have a Rachel Berry version of the song. Kurt singing that high is a new level of horrible. We like that the show didn’t have Mercedes do a full solo. She already got a Whitney song weeks ago, and we need covers that are significantly different from the originals. The last song was okay.

Episode grade: B-

Mad Men, Smash, The Good Wife, Game of Thrones, The Voice, Make It Or Break It

Game of Thrones- Garden of Bones

Catelyn tries to get Renly and Stannis Baratheon to band together against the Lannisters. Then she has to see Ned Stark’s remains in a box. GROSS, LITTLEFINGER. She should have just stuck with the mental image of him alive. Now she has the mental image of him rotting, and a nice smell to go along with it. Joffrey becomes even more of a jerk than usual, but at least this leads to the best line ever (“There’s no cure for being a ****). Daenerys finds a city to take her in, and Tyrion continues to be awesome. Arya ends up a cupbearer for Tywin Lannister who hilariously realized she was a good as soon as he saw her. Gendry barely escaped with his life. We’ve heard of that rat torture before, and we have to say, that must be one of the top ten worst ways to die. GROSS. We ship Robb Stark and random healer girl. Melisandre gives birth to a smoke thing. She’s so eccentric.

Episode grade: A-

Smash- Publicity

Rebecca Duvall starts inviting Karen out. Paparazzi follow. Jerry and Nick meet, and Jerry is not happy about it. You know, Nick is way too cute for Eileen. We just have to throw that out there, because we are shallow. But we love the way he handled Jerry. Leo thinks his parents splitting up gives him a blank check to just be a dick. He runs away from home and allows his parents and the cops to worry about him for days. Turns out, he’s sleeping on his friend’s floor. He comes home and apologizes, but seriously dude? Plenty of parents split up and many kids think about running away just to get away from it all and build a wall between yourself and parents who hurt you, but you don’t do it, because it’s mean and it helps nothing. Except in this case, it brought Leo’s parents close enough for a hug, because it’s this show and it’s unrealistic. Hear that kids? Just run away and your parents will unite to look for you. The emotion will bond them!

The Bollywood number was weird. And isn’t A Thousand and One Nights an Arabic story? The show seems to be saying, “Hey, they are all brown and exotic, so what’s the difference?” It was pretty fun though. We like this show a little ridiculous rather than just boring. It’s time for Dev to go, and we are glad that Ellis got stuck on smoothie duty, where he belongs. Ivy’s plot to steal Karen’s dull solo was pretty clever, but she has to know that she will be found out. It’s on again. We like Rebecca Duvall. She tells it like it is and wants some control over her projects. Yeah, she can’t sing, but she’s not going to end up an empty puppet like Marilyn Monroe. Uma Thurman brought life back to this show.

Episode grade: B+

Make It Or Break It- Dream On

It’s semi-qualifications time, so there are cuts. The main cuts victim is Kelly Parker. Fortunately, Kelly is now strong enough to tell her mom to get out of her life. She has a room waiting for her at her dad’s, knows that she will be ok, was strengthened by Kaylie’s friendship, and is ready to discover that there is more to herself than gymnastics. She even admitted that she peaked at World’s and her progress has been stagnant. So yeah, she took it well. It made us like KP more. We’re sad to see her go, but we know that someone important had to be cut this episode. Lauren Tanner’s dreams have been halted since Payson told Coach McIntire about her health problems. Lauren hates Payson now, but we suspect that Lauren will be right back at the training center in a few episodes. Also, Wendy is the mole. Meh. Why do all the girls on this show except for Payson, Kaylie, and Emily have to turn out to be secretly underhanded and bitchy? Come up with a new plotline, show. We’ve decided that the actress playing Jordan is not very good. Leeard hates Jordan with a  fiery passion, but Ern kind of likes her. This episode was really touching with the KP stuff. It felt like old MIOBI. 

Episode grade: A-

The Good Wife- The Penalty Box

Cary is back! CARY IS BACK! Yeeee! Also, Kalinda and Alicia are hanging out in bars again! Friends! Friends forever! Those things are awesome. The rest of the episode was ok. Alicia defends a judge who is in hot water for actions during his time as a prosecutor. We liked her questioning her role and the law at the end of the episode. We couldn’t care less about Kalinda’s FBI business or Will’s new fling. If we could only take two famous people to a desert island? Ern would probably take Tim Keller and Stephen King. Leeard would probably take Donald Glover and Jenna Marbles.

Episode grade: B

The Voice- We are sad to lose Pip and Mathai this week. Pip was versatile and had a genuinely good voice. He just hadn’t found his niche yet. The loss of James Massone was fine. We don’t know what Adam sees in Katrina Parker over Mathai. We don’t need a less good ADELE, and Mathai’s singing was consistently good. Cee Lo continues to make mostly excellent choices. Keeping Juliet Simms over Cheesa was a good call. We didn’t like either of the songs Juliet sang this week, but we liked her voice so much during the first live show last week that we think she needs to stay around so that we can hear more of that. Tony Lucca’s Baby One More Time was a great cover and an even better idea, so he deserved to stay. We think Jamar Rogers was voted saved by the American public partly due to sob story factor, but he has a good voice. Contestants we are rooting for now: Juliet Simms, Lindsey Pavao, Chris Mann, Erin Willett, and Tony Lucca.

Mad Men- Far Away Places

This show finally gave us someone to love. Yeah, Peggy is a nice person, but she started out so timid and she occasionally shows that she has no self-respect. Peggy gave a handjob to a stranger in this episode as a way to forget work and her relationship problems. Megan, on the other hand, is not only interesting but incapable of taking crap from Don Draper lying down. Scenes with her are never boring, and we love the way she’s not afraid to tell Don when he’s being a chauvinist pig, even if it devolves into a melodramatic fight. These two are hilarious. We actually laughed when Don was chasing Megan around the room. Don really loves Megan and we think she’s the best thing for him (at least for now). We used to think that was Faye, but it looks like it’s Megan. As for Roger’s tripping balls, we just kept thinking, “Take those big earrings out before you take LSD.” Try couples therapy with drugs! 

Or not. It just gave Roger permission to leave his wife even if it also gave him some clarity and courage to be honest. That guy is a 15-year-old wreck. At least Don shows a little growth sometimes. But get back to work, Don. This was one of the more entertaining episodes so far this season. The LSD sequence was inspired. We loved the lack of Pete and the format of three short stories with a common theme. It wasn’t your average Mad Men episode. Sometimes the jumping around between characters in this show causes us to be unable to engage with one particular story. This episode stayed with characters until their story was told and it really sucked us in. On a more technical note, this was visually great. We liked the camerawork and many of the shots.

Episode grade: A

Once Upon a Time - The Return recap/review

What Happened - In Storybrooke, Mr. Gold finds August snooping around his office with Henry’s help. Gold breaks into August’s room and sees a drawing of the dagger that can kill Rumpy. Gold starts to suspect that August is his son, Bae, and a nun in cahoots with August confirms the theory. Gold goes to Archie and confesses that he believes his son is in town and has come to kill Gold. Archie tells Gold to confess his wrongdoings and apologize. Gold confronts August and asks for forgiveness.

They hug and dig up Rumpy’s dagger. Gold asks August to destroy the dagger, but August instead tries to control Rumpy through the dagger. Gold realizes that his son would never do this. Also, his son would know that no magic works in Storybrooke. August is unable to kill Gold, and Gold spares August. You see, August is dying anyway and Gold presumably wants August to wake Emma up to the truth before he expires.

Meanwhile, Mary Margaret has been cleared and gets all her friends back. David tries to make up with her, but Mary Margaret has realized that something is trying to keep them apart. They are not back together, because Mary Margaret a) doesn’t forgive David for believing the frame-up and b) doesn’t want her good memories of David poisoned by whatever force is trying to keep them apart. Regina is upset with Gold for screwing her over by releasing Kathryn, who remembers nothing. He went with the letter, not the intent. All the evidence points back to Regina, so Sidney takes the fall for her. Emma is not buying it and tells Regina so. Emma also tells Regina that she is going to take Henry back.

In the Enchanted Forest, Baelfire, Rumpy’s son, becomes concerned that his father’s dark magic is continuing to turn him into a different person. Rumpy kills people, and Bae does not like that. Bae asks Rumpy if he would give up magic if Bae could find a way of doing it that wouldn’t kill him. Rumpy, thinking there is no such way, agrees. Bae finds the Blue Fairy who gives him the last magical bean in the world, telling Bae that it will take him and his father to a land where magic doesn’t exist.

Bae goes to his father, throws the bean on the ground, and creates a vortex that will transport them to an unknown land. Rumpy is scared and wants to keep his power, so he drops Bae into the vortex and does not follow him. When his son is gone and the vortex is closed, Rumpy regrets his decision and asks the Blue Fairy to help him get to his son. But there are no magic beans and the only way to get to a magic-less world is to perform a large curse for which Rumpy is not yet powerful enough. Rumpy swears that he will do it one day.

Comments - UGH, Ern thought August being Rumpy's son was so cool, but it isn’t true! We guess the son will be revealed in due course. Is it Henry's father? But still, that’s way better than someone being Pinocchio. We’re pretty sure August is Pinocchio though. Leeard is glad that he wasn’t Rumpy’s son.

August can’t die. They’ve already taken Graham away from us, so they can’t also take away our consolation prize. We can’t believe Rumpy dropped Bae! We’re glad that he regretted it instantly. This was the only deal Rumpy ever broke, and it was a doozy.

Rumpy was a coward to not give up the familiar and control in order to follow his heart. It’s crazy that Storybrooke and the whole deal with the Queen is actually Rumpy’s search for Bae. So maybe this world (Storybrooke) isn’t the evil, dour place it was made out to be by the first couple of episodes.

It’s a place of renewal and salvation that the Queen just thinks is a world where no one will be happy and she can have her revenge. Yeah, they have no memories and magic, but it looks like Gold is in control, not Regina. That’s awesome, because you know how we prefer Gold to just about any villain ever.

Episode grade: B+

Touch, Awake, Parks and Recreation

Awake- Nightswimming

Detective Britten bonds with his wife after helping a couple in his son’s world enter the witness protection program. He also makes strides in accepting the move to Oregon. He introduces Detective Vega to his C.I., Jake, hoping that Vega can replace them in his relationship. Jake is hurt that Britten pawned him off on another detective with little ceremony, since he considered Britten to be a friend. Vega tells Britten that he messed up, and Britten is able to patch things up. This was a good episode of this show. We enjoyed the case with the witness protection program couple. We missed seeing Britten’s son, but we are glad the episode didn’t try to do too much. It was nice to have a break from the shrinks and the usual format. Someone save this show!

Episode grade: B

Touch- Lost and Found

Clea finds her mother and Martin finds a kidnapped boy. Will, a businessman, survives a plane crash just long enough to save a jazz club and Clea’s mom’s life. He also ends up saving an Asian lesbian who is about to become a mother. Guess who the sperm donor is going to be? Will. What a coincidence! But it’s these heartfelt little connections that make the show. We don’t care if they are contrived. We are touched anyway. Our disbelief is completely suspended for this sweet show. This episode also gave us a little more information regarding Teller, Jake’s numbers (called “The Amelia Sequence”), and some sort of conspiracy the facility is involved in. This show is still chugging along with enough quality to keep us attentive.

Episode grade: B+

Parks and Recreation- Live Ammo

April struggles to fill Leslie’s shoes at the parks department but manages to get some cute puppies adopted. Leslie saves the Parks Department budget from being cut and meets the current City Councilman that she is trying to replace. He really likes ships in bottles. Chris tries to get Ron into meditation, which is less funny than you would think, but it was also the best part of the episode. Chris also realizes that he might lose his job. We are loving depressed Chris this season. This episode was fine, but it was probably the least funny of the season. That’s not a huge diss, because this season has been mostly great. Still, we were expecting more from the episode following that long hiatus.

Episode grade: C+

P.S.- The Office was really bad this week, huh? This is probably our last season watching that show. Free Mindy Kaling!

P.P.S.- We finally get Once Upon a Time back tonight!!!!!!!!

Scandal - first impressions

Spoiler free

Scandal focuses on Olivia Pope (Kerry Washington), a woman who helped the president get elected and then started her own crisis management firm. She’s a more likable (yet less delicious) version of Eli Gold on The Good Wife. Olivia is a fixer. She does not work for truth and justice, but for her clients, which is fine with us because we have enough shows focused on ensuring justice. Her team includes former CIA and lawyers who investigate claims and try to get her clients out of hot water in Washington D.C. The clients are mostly politicians. Quinn, a new recruit, brings wide-eyed idealism and awe of Olivia to the table. Desmond from LOST is in this. The president is pretty hot for an old guy.

Leeard warmed up to this show a lot quicker than Ern did. Grey’s Anatomy meets The West Wing, so pretty much the perfect show for Leeard. Ern thought the pilot was sleazy and that it was difficult to care about any of the characters until the next two episodes aired. The first couple of scenes tried way too hard. They are too talky. You know Shonda Rhimes speeches, right? Well you get about three too many in the first scenes of the pilot. You know how her characters always speak fast and nervous? It’s the same thing here. It’s clear Shonda wrote this. Did they have to say that they were “gladiators in suits” 1,209 times? Do people have to verbally point out that Olivia Pope is legendary? The rule is “show, don’t tell” for a reason.

Also, the first episode had some annoying, uninspired, heavy-handed political bias toward the left. The blogger writing this paragraph is a moderate, but in the entertainment world, any bias or preaching toward either side turns off half the viewers in this country. Fortunately, the show dialed it down and recognized that scandal does not favor one political party over another. They all mess up and sleep around. Neither of us appreciate the red-headed character, Abby, who comes across as smug, self-righteous, assumptive, and not at all aware that there are good people that just genuinely disagree with her.

After the pilot, Ern wondered if she was going to care about politicians and their scandals. Most of them are sex scandals. Is that the only thing a politician can do wrong? Is sex the ultimate dirty thing? (No.) We’d like to see Olivia and her team tackle some other kinds of issues soon. Why should we be rooting for their problems to be fixed or their failures to be covered up? All truth should and will come out. Covering up people’s dirty laundry is the worst thing for them as people, even if they are politicians. The final scenes of the pilot made Ern wonder: Is Olivia Pope a bad guy? The show takes great pains to tell us no, she’s not bad. Olivia is supposed to be a superhero. A crusader. A character said, “She’s one of the good guys.” Another replies, “No, she’s the best guy.” Later, someone says, “Olivia Pope. She wears the white hat.”

But Olivia is a fixer. This show is focused on making Olivia look good rather than delving into the grey area that is her occupation. Maybe Olivia is a good guy trying to do a dirty job the best she can. Maybe wearing the white hat means that when Olivia has a choice, she helps politicians who are good for this country or she occasionally takes on victims as clients. Maybe it means that she does the best she can with the situations she is given. In one episode, Olivia saw to it that someone took responsibility for their actions. These days, the media are so intrusive and the public so judgmental that holding the hands of people who have messed up is an honorable job. Maybe a white hat would mitigate damage so that mostly successful, influential people can move on with the good parts of their lives. Maybe it’s compassion for the imperfect.

But it seems on Scandal that being savvy, strong, reputable, clever, and excellent at your job is a good in itself. There’s good and bad in every occupation. Hell, one of us is months away from being a lawyer. There are very few greyer-area jobs than that. Still, this issue needs to be addressed. A strength of this show could be watching Olivia face interesting moral quandaries as a generally good person in a cesspit. We’d like to see a few issues like the end of the movie Gone Baby Gone. This premise could raise similar questions. 

We would like to see the show ask tough questions rather than simply try to dazzle us with how cool, flashy, and skilled Olivia and her team are. Stop telling us she’s a white hat. Show us how that’s possible as a Fixer. The third episode started to do that. It was mostly the pilot that seemed unaware of its ethics issues and over-pushed Olivia as the best thing since sliced bread. Leeard didn't have Ern's problems with this show's morals. Leeard thinks that if the characters on the show think Olivia is good and if Shonda does, it doesn't matter what we think, but she does agree that to the audience, there should probably be some debate about whether Olivia and her team are good or bad. We both fully expect there to be some episodes where Olivia faces a moral dilemma. As usual, we understand where the other is coming from and agree to disagree. 

Some of the plots move too fast to avoid holes and come off as unrealistic, but the overall premise is believable, fresh, and creative. We know that any Shonda Rhimes show is going to have storylines that drive us up the wall. We also know that any Shonda show is going to have elements of her own personal fantasies. We’ve watched Grey’s Anatomy and what works there works here also. In the end of the pilot, an affair is revealed and we are wondering if Shonda thinks this is supposed to be the new Meredith and Derek.

There are plenty of fun twists, even though two of them we’ve seen on other shows, and there is good pacing. The cast and acting are perfect. Like Grey’s Anatomy, there are soapy and serial elements as well as cases of the week. We love Liza Weil (Paris from Gilmore Girls) as Amanda Tanner. We’ve always loved that actress. Fortunately, it’s less cutesy than Off the Map (which Leeard still misses). This is going to end up being like Grey’s Anatomy in that there will be portions that drive us crazy, but overall, we think we are going to be addicted to this show. Problems aside, we’re definitely going to finish the season. If you don't like this show from the pilot, definitely give it a couple more episodes.

Sweet Baby (Pilot): C

Dirty Little Secrets: B+

Hell Hath No Fury: B+

Vampire Diaries - Heart of Darkness recap/review

What Happened - How are we going to keep this recap short? Oh lordy. This show is always the hardest to sum up. Klaus and Kol know where Jeremy is. Kol is actually posing as a student and friend of Jeremy’s in order to keep tabs on the Gilbert brother. Stefan sends Elena and Damon to go get him, because he thinks they should spend time together so that Elena can figure out how she feels about Damon. Esther comes to see Rebekah and tells her daughter that she is dying. Rebekah is still upset with Esther for trying to kill her, but they have a sort of a tender moment anyway. Esther then collapses. Klaus shows up and Rebekah tells him that their mother is dead.

Caroline gets Matt to distract Rebekah with preparations for the next high school dance. Rebekah has changed the decade theme from the 70s to the 20s, much to Caroline’s fake annoyance. Caroline is secretly spending the day with Tyler. He’s back and he thinks he might have broken the sirebond! They go to the Lockwood dungeon and have sex. Caroline breaks the news to Tyler that if they kill Klaus, Tyler will possibly die too. Caroline assures Tyler that she has no intention of losing him, but they end up fighting after Tyler sees Klaus’s drawing of Caroline and wonders why she didn’t throw it away.

Stefan spends the episode trying to get Alaric’s psycho alter ego to appear and tell him where to find the last White Oak stake. Klaus decides it’s taking too long and breaks Alaric’s neck. Alaric wakes up, still normal, hours later. Stefan then accesses his dark, ripper self and attacks Alaric (with Alaric’s permission), hoping that Alter Alaric will wake and defend himself. It works. Alter Alaric tells Stefan and Klaus that he hid the stake in the cave where no vampire can get in. Klaus and Rebekah hear this and Rebekah takes Alter Alaric to the cave. Klaus tells Stefan that the reason he hasn’t killed him yet is that he is still hoping his friend from the 20s is still in there, ready to come out and play.

Rebekah and Alter Alaric get to the cave. Rebekah waits at the entrance while Alter Alaric goes inside. He finds the stake and turns around like he is going to use it on Rebekah. But…twist! Rebekah tells Alter Alaric that they have a lot in common, then she steps into the cave. She can enter! She’s not a vampire! She’s a witch. She’s Esther, and she is using her daughter’s body like Klaus once used Alaric’s. So now Alter Alaric has a powerful ally AND a weapon that can kill Originals. !!!!!!!!!!!!

Damon and Elena find Jeremy and Kol. Damon beats Kol with a baseball bat and the three heroes go hide in a motel. Damon and Elena ask Jeremy to contact Ghost Rose and ask her if she knows which Original turned her and originated the Salvatore bloodline. Ghost Rose says she will ask around in the ghost world and also discloses that she is rooting for Damon and Elena. Jeremy is horrified by this. Elena finds out that Damon comforted Rose with a dream world as she was dying. Rose tells the group that she was turned by Mary Porter, not an original. Jeremy goes to sleep, leaving Elena and Damon awake and alone in the motel together. Elena watches Damon walk around and drink, shirtless. Damon lies down next to her in bed.

Elena comments on Damon’s comforting of Rose and asks him why he hides his good side. Damon confesses that he is afraid “people” will expect goodness from him all the time if he shows kindness at all. Damon grabs Elena’s hand and she starts breathing hard. She gets up and leaves the room. Damon follows her. Elena turns around and kisses him. They start making out against a wall. Stupid Jeremy catches them and stops the wonderful kissing! He says that Rose told him Mary Porter is in Kansas. They arrive at Porter’s house, but Kol is already there and has staked Mary. Kol tosses Elena across a room and beats up Damon as payback.

Damon wakes up and Elena tells him that this whole trip was Stefan’s idea in order to give Elena an opportunity to sort out her feelings. Damon asks Elena if she has feelings for him. Elena says she doesn’t know and that every time something goes down, Damon freaks and acts like a jerk. Damon basically says, “Well, what if I don’t do that? I’m going to show my good side and remain nice so that you have to make the hard decision. I’m not going to make it easy for you to reject me by giving you a reason to.” On the drive home, Ghost Rose sits in the backseat and tells Jeremy that even though Stefan’s love is pure and he is good for Elena, Damon challenges Elena and makes her question her beliefs. Rose says that Damon will either turn out to be the best thing for Elena, or the worst.

Comments - GREAT IDEA sending Elena and Damon out of town together, Stefan. One of us is annoyed, because Stefan should be fighting for Elena, not making it easy for Damon to steal her. How is Elena supposed to feel when she’s sees Stefan giving up and sadly, almost passive-aggressively pushing her toward his brother? Good call changing the decade of the dance, Rebekah. We’ve been wanting to see more adorable 20s flapper fashion since the flashback episodes earlier this season.

Why is the Lockwood dungeon Caroline and Tyler’s best option for a sex place? Even if they needed to keep it a secret, how about just in the woods? Caroline’s room? Someone’s roof? A motel? Because: gross. We don’t think Tyler was overreacting when he stormed off after seeing Klaus’s drawing. He has been torturing himself so that he can get back to Caroline and safely be with her, and she is flirting with the enemy. Tyler saw right through her attempts to paint Klaus as creepy. Caroline has a small crush, and that’s not okay. It’s a betrayal.

It’s taken Ern a long time to ship Caroline and Tyler, but Tyler doing this for Caroline has brought Ern around. Leeard has shipped them pretty much the whole time. Ern was rooting for Matt and Caroline but now thinks that Rebekah/Matt is cuter. Klaus/Caroline isn’t bad either. Who are we kidding? We love everyone on this show so ANYONE/ANYONE would be a match that would send us into a dither. We should have seen the Esther/Rebekah twist coming a mile away, but we didn’t. This show always gets us.

We are glad we got a reason as to why Klaus hasn’t killed the Salvatores yet. He’s had plenty of opportunity. But it makes no sense to us that Kol didn’t kill Damon in this episode. We understand that he would keep Elena alive for Klaus, but Damon is unnecessary and troublesome. Whatever. Onto more important things - THAT KISSING. We will be youtubing that scene over and over and over and over until the next episode.

Elena has a hard choice to make and we can’t wait to watch her make it. One brother is going to be heartbroken. Which one is endgame? We also like that Stefan is coming around to his dark side. He needs to learn how to use it in moderation and for the greater good, like he did here. At this point, it could be either. This episode was so good, you guys. We’re nearing the end of the season. Who wants to start making death predictions? Esther and Kol have to go, right? But will Klaus and Tyler?

Episode grade: A

Community - Virtual Systems Analysis review

Thursday night, Community aired an episode that’s just like the ones we like to see from this show (the high-concept and deep ones). The week before, the episode was normal (which some viewers prefer). The week before that, the episode (Pillows and Blankets) was incredible and high-concept (the type of episode we prefer). Virtual Systems Analysis was more thoughtful than funny, and it gave us an unusual pairing: Abed and Annie. Annie helped Abed work through his insecurities and develop a skill called empathy.

Abed helped Annie realize that she’s not actually in love with Jeff; she’s just in love with the idea of being loved. Paired with the last episode, we can see that Community is really trying to make people think about their insecurities, the way they let people treat them, their true motives, and why they have feelings for certain members of opposite sex when those people are bad for them. Community is inserting wisdom along with humor.

In this episode, Annie set Troy and Britta up for a lunch date and had to entertain Abed in his Dreamatorium. At first, Abed was upset over possibly losing Troy to Britta. He also found Annie to be a poor, overly British assistant. Abed figured out that Annie was trying to set Troy and Britta up partly because Annie wants to be with Jeff. Abed simulates all his friends, showing that he knows them pretty well. In the end, both Annie and Troy are better off.

Overall, this episode was adorable. We don’t understand how anyone didn’t get Inception though. The weakness of this episode was its lack of laughs. We don’t think this show always needs to be hilarious though. Certain episodes squeak by in quality through insightfulness and charm. The episode’s strength was its depth, sweetness, weirdness, and originality. It wasn’t the strongest of this season, but we will take it. It was touching, innocent, and character-driven. 

Episode grade: B+

The Secret Circle- Crystal recap/review

What happened- A lot. The circle and John Blackwell decide that they need to find all the crystals. Well, Diana is sort of out on this plan. She is just trying to have a date with Grant, but the circle keeps interrupting. Finally, she has to ditch it altogether. Jake, Cassie, and Faye go to Jake’s grandfather’s house to ask if he knows anything. Callum follows them, because he has a crush on Melissa and hates Jake for telling him to back off of her. At Grandpa’s, Cassie sees a piece of paper with the names and birthdays of circle members and Jake’s grandpa tells them that the circle is going to die. He said that there are two other circles in the East and that John Blackwell was interested in having multiple children with magic so that he could corrupt future circles from within. Jake tells Cassie that Isaac said there was more than one Blackwell child in the circle. Faye reads her mom’s diary and finds out that John and her mother were boning at some point.

Jake asks Grandpa for his crystal and he tells them to go pound sand and that he hid it in the mines. Grandpa spelled the mines so that no one with dark magic can get in. Cassie takes a picture of Grandpa’s crazy board and snaps an image of a map that leads to Grandpa’s crystal. Callum breaks into Grandpa’s house and takes the real map.  

Cassie sends the picture of the map to Melissa and Adam so that they can go to the abandoned iron mine and get the crystal before Callum does. They do, but then Callum shows up with a gun. Adam and Callum struggle and the gun goes off. The rest of the circle has finally shown up and they hear the gunshot. Melissa takes the crystal from Adam and gives it to Callum to stop him from shooting Adam.

Callum runs off and attempts to leave on his motorcycle. Faye, thinking she is Blackwell’s other dark child, tries to stop him alone and nearly gets run over by the bike. Diana pushes her out of the way. Cassie tries to enter the mine but can’t, because it is spelled. Cassie runs after Callum and stops his bike. He takes a fall. The circle marks Callum and tell him to leave Chance Harbor.

John tries to get Charlie to help him defeat the witch hunters. Charlie is all, “I hate you” and then goes to Jane in order to team up with her to kill John. Jane invites John over to “make peace,” but really paralyzes him in order to kill him with a spell. Jane first wants to know if John killed Amelia. He says no, and her crystal confirms that this is the truth. Jane backs out of the murder plan. Charlie tries to go through with it, but the spell kills Jane instead.

Yeah, John was one step ahead of them. He messed with the spell because he remembered how much Jane hated him. John tells Charlie that he still has use for him and won’t kill him yet. Faye asks John if he is her dad. John says that Dawn was just obsessed with him but they never boned. Diana tells Cassie that she needs a break from the circle and also mentions that she wasn’t able to enter the mine. So THAT’S the other Blackwell child.

Comments- Are we crazy, or did Adam and Melissa have a moment in the mine? Will that lead to anything? Diana being John’s child too was a good twist. She is probably our favorite character on this show, so giving her dark power and a bigger part is a good thing. There’s no way she’s getting that break from the circle now. We hope Grant comes back soon. It will be interesting to watch Diana eventually have to tell him that she’s a witch. At this point, Melissa is the only one without a real storyline or issues that put her front-and-center. Callum’s obsession with her gave her a brief spotlight, but something else needs to happen to that girl.

We liked Jake’s crazy grandpa and his crazy wall of information. Does this mean that we are going to see two more circles in subsequent seasons? That sounds cool. Maybe there will be hot guys in those circles too. Who are we kidding? It’s the CW. OF COURSE there will be hot guys in the circles. We don’t know if Callum will be back, but we trust that the show will bring him back for a good reason if it does. We were surprised to lose Jane right after she got back from the mental health ward. John is definitely shady. It sounds like he was sleeping with all/most of the women in his circle. This show hasn’t had a bad episode yet. The quality is consistent. It’s very cool. If it keeps this up, it will be a favorite of ours for a long time.

Episode grade: A-

Grey's Anatomy - The Girl with No Name

What Happened - The residents are interviewing for jobs at hospitals around the country. Cristina is receiving all sorts of bribes and treat baskets from hospitals, because, as she puts it, she is a god. Teddy freaks out and wants her to stay. Teddy tries to get Owen to make Cristina stay, but Owen is all, “Um, we aren’t friends. Don’t you remember that time you gave me that really harsh, uncalled for speech where said you wish I had died? So, you make her stay and don’t talk to me about my wife ever again.” April’s annoying personality grates on prospective employers, Jackson is only being courted for his last name (which upsets him), and Alex is taking interviews at crummy hospitals until he finds out that Arizona is sabotaging him to make him stay at Mercy West Seattle Grace. Alex makes her recommend him to some good places.

Meredith gets a great interview opportunity but is forced to postpone it when a teenage patient, Holly, is admitted and bonds quickly with Meredith. Meredith has to stick around so that the patient feels safe and in control, because Holly was kidnapped at age six and has been tortured and raped for the last couple of years. She escaped her captor and ended up at the hospital. Dr. Bailey is traumatized by this, since she’s a mother, and has a total meltdown when Tuck is out of her sight for about three minutes. Owen has trouble handling the press and the girl’s family. When a stranger takes a photo of Holly that ends up in the papers, Owen blames himself for not handling the security right. Cristina tells him that he’s doing fine and lets him have the apartment until she’s done studying for her boards.

In the end, the handling of the Holly situation is a success. There is hope that she will be able to bond with her parents, she is physically healthy, and no other public relations disasters occurred. Everyone claps for Owen, including Cristina. She gives him an apple from her fruit basket after he inquires, sadly, about her job prospects. Owen looked hopeful during the applause, but soon after seemed to realize that Cristina is disconnecting. Cristina is determined to leave Seattle for the best hospital she can find. Meredith has her eyes set on Boston and Derek is down for moving. Richard finds out that Adele has fallen for another Alzheimer’s patient at Rose Ridge. She even slept with him. Richard realizes that he can’t stop the relationship and has to give her space.

Comments - We liked Owen’s response to Teddy regarding Cristina. It’s about time she got told off for that rant. We also liked that Alex wasn’t mad at Arizona but just made her change her actions. Jackson and April were annoying this week. Dr. Bailey has been annoying us for a while, but we weren’t irritated by her this week. Even though she was not tough and seemed to be making the tragedy all about her, we liked the level of empathy she had with the parents and how much she loves Tuck. The episode name was dumb. The girl has a name: it's Holly.

How is it possible that Owen and Cristina are cuter when they are separated then when they are married? We missed the season five-esque pining between these two. It’s similar: Owen wants to be a better man/get over his issues/prove himself and win Cristina back. It worked three years ago, so why not remind the audience why this is a couple they used to root for? We were mad at both of them (but mostly him) for ruining their marriage with selfish decisions, but they behaved well in this episode. They treated each other with kindness, not anger, and that’s something hardly ever seen in real marriages about to end. Cristina is probably able to do this because she is leaving. She wants to end things on a good note.

The whole “residents looking for jobs” plotline is a great way for some of the actors to end their time on this show once their contracts expire after this season. We could lose all, some, or none of the original cast members. We’ve been loving Meredith lately. Her warm, secure, adult side has blossomed. We’d hate to lose her, but it’s very possible that she and Derek will leave the show. We could stand to lose whiny, self-righteous Derek, but he and Meredith come in a pair, so we would accept him. Cristina should absolutely stay, since she’s our favorite character on the show and it makes more sense for her growth as a character to have her choose personal friendships and love over career success. Still, the storyline is going to take a backseat to actor's contract negotiations. Whatever they decide, the show will have to write around it.

Alex is our second favorite character and we love his dynamic with Arizona. Bailey can go, but she won’t since she’s Shonda’s Mary Sue and would likely get little work elsewhere. Richard is fine. Keep him. This is a good opportunity to get rid of April. It’s unrealistic that she would be the only one to leave. The ones we absolutely need to stay are Cristina and Alex. Richard’s storyline was interesting to Ern. Ern had to pause the episode and think about whether Richard could successfully sue Rose Ridge for allowing two patients not in their right minds to have intercourse. (Conclusion: Ern does not know and needs to study more.) We liked the case with Holly. We don’t know if the show got the psychology right or wrote her character believably, but it was entertaining and touching.

Episode grade: A-