Pretty LIttle Liars- Season 3, Episode 16

Misery Loves Company- This was a big one. The end of Spoby, Meredith losing it epically, and answers about Byron. But let's back up. Aria is sick on the couch, looking "terrible" in Spencer's opinion. She just doesn't have any pink makeup on. The staff at PLL has been generous with the foundation, trying to make her look pale and shiny. It doesn't work at all, because she's still gorgeous. When we normal people are sick, we're splotchy, our hair sticks up everywhere, there are little crusty things under our noses, we have a giant onesie on, and our eyes look like dead marbles. Ultra-terrible.

The Following- Season 1, Episode 1

Pilot- Thoughts for people who HAVE seen this are after the jump. This first part is spoiler free though.

This show is about a retired FBI agent who is called back to look for an escaped serial killer. The criminal is a former English professor who killed a bunch of his students. Worst professor ever, right?  Also, he has a bunch of crazy followers who are willing to do insane things for him. The killer is obsessed with Poe, and we think it would have been more interesting if the killer were obsessed with multiple writers and ideas.

Ten minutes in, we already knew we loved this pilot. It was fast-paced and we cared pretty quickly. We didn't really want to watch this show because it had a boring name, but then we heard that LOST actress Maggie Grace was in it, and we think she picks good things.

Also, of course, Kevin Bacon, who is great in this. We spotted Rome and Justified veterans too. Once we found out the reason this show is called "The Following," we liked the name.

Yeah, there are a lot of cliches, like the damaged hero and the genius killer, but those are traditions because they work. Even with those staples, this show doesn't feel tired. The killer's cult is what separates this villain from Hannibal Lecter, although Hannibal was a lot more charming. This guy is too loud, talkative, and in-your-face arrogant.

We don't know if they picked the right actor to play the killer. The casting of James Purefoy might be our only complaint. He's good looking, as he should be, but he should also be more charismatic and terrifying.

The show is not afraid to be gruesome and very dark. Of course, this is the network that brought us the disgusting first season of Fringe, so we shouldn't be surprised. (We have GOT to watch that finale, by the way. We're the worst.) It's also pretty creepy. Even the flashbacks are creepy. Don't bother with this show if you can't stand violence.

We can see quickly that this will be a crowd pleaser rather than critic bait, kind of like 24 was. We can tell this show is dangling itself in front of an audience that isn't familiar with Poe or really can't process a remotely deep analysis of his work. A baddie literally writes NEVERMORE on a wall, in blood. THUNK. Der. We like when TV assumes its audience is smart and well-read, like LOST did. Still, we were highly entertained through the entire hour. If the show can keep up this level of quality, it will be one of our favorite shows. Can't wait for next week.

Episode grade: A-

Girls- Season 2, episode 2

I Get Ideas- We love Girls and one of us is pretty liberal, but we thought Hannah's comments about Republicans were so rude. Poor Sandy! In the first place, one of us was a hard core Republican in high school with a literal cardboard cut out of George W. Bush riding in the passenger seat of our cars. Even then, that blogger didn't support the death penalty. Hannah just assumed that because Sandy was a Republican, he agreed with them about everything.

Sandy felt awkward, judged, and didn't want to get into it. We liked that Dunham wrote him as a nice, normal guy instead of the spawn of Satan though. Also, Lena said, "Hannah acts like she has a political issue with him, but what she actually has is an issue with him not liking what she does...she feels like she should receive universal praise." Fair enough.

Once Upon a Time- Season 2, episodes 11-12

The Outsider- Last week, we had Belle lose her memories of Rumpy which, while sad, could not have made us happier. That means that the beast will have to win back beauty again. If you remember, we weren't all that happy with how they fell in love the first time. It seemed rushed, unromantic, and underwhelming. We want to love this couple even more than we already do. Giving Rumpy a chance to win Belle back fresh and start over gives the viewers a shot at seeing the love story we think these two deserve.

We also liked Belle and Mulan working together, as well as the cliffhanger of someone crashing into Storybrooke. We also liked that even though Belle disobeyed her boyfriend and put herself in harm's way, she didn't ruin everything in this episode. In the flashback, she saved Prince Phillip by being smart and compassionate.

Revenge- Season 2, Episodes 11-12

We triiiiiiied. We've dropped and picked up this show so many times. We just don't care anymore. After these two weeks, we've decided that Sunday is too crowded with amazing shows, and this one just doesn't cut it. Game of Thrones will join them in a few months. Maybe if this show were on a Friday. This show should have been a miniseries. We WILL check in on season finales and any other episode that actually gives some progression/answers. We feel like with all the mini missions and unimportant things that happen on this show, we can catch up adequately on the recaps and just jump into when people FINALLY realize that "Emily" is really Amanda.

Sabotage: C-
Collusion: D-

Shameless- Season 3, episodes 1-2

Last year, there was all this hope that things would get better. Frank was out of the house most of the time, Lip and Fiona kept talking about GEDs, Fiona actually got one, and Jimmy moved in full time. But things are darker than ever this year. It's depressing us a little, but we know disfunction is the whole show. Also, it shocks us and makes us laugh still, so it is doing its job. We miss Karen though.

Poor Deb. She's going to be so messed up. We feel even sorrier for Fiona because of her summer job. There are other jobs that pay that much an hour that you can get with a GED! What happened to bartending and waitressing? JEEZ! That poop scene nearly made us ralph. We liked the way Frank got back to the states, but it was interesting how the kids' lives were so much better when he was gone. We saw this week that as soon as he came back, everything went to hell. Part of that is Jimmy's difficult situation. How on Earth can he solve it?

Our favorite movies of 1930-1989

We're finally finishing these lists. You can see 2012 (recently updated to include movies we saw late), the other 2000s, and the '90s if you click on the links, just in case you missed them. 

Our Top Ten Movies of the '80s (VERY difficult to narrow down)

If you've seen Django Unchained...

Read this. It's hilarious.

The Vampire Diaries- Season four, episode 10

Oh HELL yeah. It's about time. It's been so long since we've seen an A episode of this show, you guys, but the midseason premiere delivered. The first thing it gave us? Answers. We know who blew up the pastor and the council. We know who the next Big Bad will probably be (Silas). Thank God. We needed a new challenge.

The next thing it gave us was lots of good, old fashioned Elena triangle heartbreak. Rebekah forcing Elena to rip Stefan's heart out wasn't as sad as we thought it would be, but it was at least interesting. We felt bad for both Stefan and Elena when he said that he wanted Rebekah to compel him into forgetting his relationship with Ms. Gilbert. Ouch.

Pretty Little Liars- Season 3, Episode 15

Mona-Mania- Sorry this is a day late. One of us had something to do during the usual blogging time. But better late than never, we always say. We found out whose bike was busted last week: the captain of the Academic Decathlon. That's one way to unseat a club leader, Mona.

Lucas finally coughs up the nature of his involvement with Mona and the A-Team. He's being blackmailed for selling answers to tests? Wow, we would come clean before we would do stuff for Mona. He was delivering messages from Jason to her back when she was in Radley. And, shocker, LUCAS almost blew up Meredith. Hanna has definitely set Mona off again, but that's Hanna. She's not going to pretend to be someone's friend. She's going to tell them to their face to get bent.

The Carrie Diaries- Season 1, episode 1

Pilot- We went into this show as huge Sex and the City fans who really didn't see why this new show was a good idea in the first place. The original show's writers didn't see a reason to look back, we know who Carrie ends up with, and Carrie is by far NOT the best character on that show. Carrie is kind of a selfish, vapid chain smoker who always talks about herself after her friends are telling her their problems. However, Sarah Jessica Parker is adorable, so we loved Carrie anyway.

Miranda was the dry wit, Samantha was the enthusiastic lover of life and men, and Charlotte was the girly girl. They were all better than Carrie. Also, the heart of the show was their friendship. Without Carrie's real soulmates, what's the point? Plus, this new show couldn't have all the humor and sex jokes. It's the CW. After watching the pilot, it's clear that the show isn't going to even try (which is probably a good thing). Maybe the show is going by the book, but it sure as heck isn't going by the show at all.

Bunheads- Season 1, episodes 11-12

Oh, this weird, plotless show. We love it bunches. It's starting to be more confident now that it's settled. The premiere of Bunheads was really cute and only a little nonsensical. In fact, it was probably the best possible episode for it to return with. There was emotion and some of the best dialogue we've seen from this show yet. Hubbell and Michelle's wedding video was not nearly as creepy as we would have guessed. In fact, it was super sweet.

Plus, it opened with SUCH a great dance number. We want to watch that multiple times. We were confused about one thing. Did Sasha blow off that great opportunity at The Joffrey? Or did she just come back earlier than she told her parents she would be back? Did she just spend the gap hiding or was it the whole summer? If you know, let us know. We liked the episode, but we don't want to watch the whole thing again. Just that dance number.

Onto this week. Truly is starting to get on our nerves, but if it leads to more of us seeing her hilarious sister, played by Liza Weil, we'll be happy. This show needs a Paris. We don't even mind if this show is Gilmore Girls 2.0 at this point. We're just glad there is something like it. We both miss Gilmore Girls so much (Leeard more than Ern, but still; they should totally bring it back and do a time jump). It was hilarious that Truly's sister is so the opposite of her in every way and that they hate each other.

Girls- Season 2, episode 1

It's About Time- Before we get into this, we just want to say that the episode title is fitting because we feel like we've been waiting forever for this show. Whenever we feel stressed, we just want to go watch it. We love it so much. It makes us laugh, as well as feel good and represented. The magic of this show isn't that it's controversial or that Lena Dunham gets named and has horrible sex. The magic of this show is its realness. See, in their obsession with good looks, older people "paint pictures of Egypt" when it comes to the early 20s. Meaning, they make them out to be a lot better than they are.

Execs and most celebrities paint that time as one where we party like we're going to die young, where our whole futures are ahead of us, where we are desired, and where we have all this freedom. But the world has changed since they were young. When they were young, people were getting married earlier, so they have this memory of falling in love with an important person. We have texting, clubs, and the "hook-up" culture.

The Life of Pi, The Hobbit, The Five-Year Engagement, Les Miserables, Moonrise Kingdom, Django Unchained, and Silver Linings Playbook

We've been lazy with the current movie posts, so here are a few short takes. We wrote this during the commercials of the first hour of the Golden Globes :-)

The Life of Pi- This is half the most awesome movie ever and half the gayest movie ever. Visually, it's so so so good. We liked these visuals better than anything in Avatar, because they were more realistic and more breathtaking. The storm scene had us on the edge of our seats. It's a sweet story. For the most part, it's a success, and one that can be shared by families.

Fundamentalists may struggle with the idea that Pi is a Hindu, a Christian, AND a Muslim, but we didn't. Also, the movie features one of the worst scenes we've ever sat through (when Pi tells a false story to the Japanese investigator; that went on forever and was just cartoonishly awful). As far as spiritual movies go, this one definitely trumps Cloud Atlas.
Movie grade: B

The Hobbit- We know so many people who were disappointed with this movie, but we doubt they've read the book. They might have been comparing this movie to the last three. The book "The Hobbit" isn't like Lord of the Rings as far as, you know, being a serious epic. It's a fanciful children's book. And when we saw the movie, we thought, "Man, I don't remember the book being anywhere near this good." Peter Jackson darkened up the material.

They picked a good cast. We've liked Richard Armitage since North and South, but it's a shame he's a friggin dwarf so people can't grasp how hot he his. Whatever. That's not what matters. What matters is that Martin Freeman is such a perfect pick for Bilbo that he redeems the Bilbo we saw in LOTR, who was twisted and corrupted by the ring. Freeman imbues Bilbo with so much personality in every movement and facial expression that he steals moments where he isn't even talking. His showdown with Gollum left our faces hurting from smiling.

Gandalf is back, it's a solid story, there's a really sweet moment or two, and it looks freaking great. The only downside? It takes a while to get going. Settle in and be patient. It's a three hour movie, and the first 40 minutes or so are spent getting Bilbo to even go on the journey. The first half will drag, but if you're prepared, it won't be so bad. The second half more than rewards you for waiting. Overly padded? Possibly. But we enjoy every minute spent in middle earth.
Movie grade: A-

The Five-Year Engagement- This movie was yards better than we expected it to be and a lot raunchier. Still, there weren't enough laughs to justify its running time. It's worth seeing on video if you like Emily Blunt, Alison Brie, Jason Segel, and Chris Pratt. Who doesn't like them? They all do a great job. Although this is a love story, the script isn't plagued with the stupidity of most comedies centered around romance. We wouldn't call this a rom-com at all because of that. The movie tackled issues that real couples have to grapple with in this day and age. We didn't regret watching it, but we didn't love it either.
Movie grade: B-

Les Miserables- In the mood for a good cry? Look no further. If you're interested in this at all, you've probably already seen it. Critics haven't been as kind as viewers, so we'll call this a crowd-pleaser. We must be in the crowd, because we were pleased. The story is a tad overpacked with characters and the first half is superior to the second, but we still love the whole thing. It has action, romance, spirituality, courage, self-sacrifice, tragedy, and, most importantly, strong themes of redemption, second chances, grace, and forgiveness. This movie (and the musical it's based off of) has its faults, but they are nothing compared to the power of this story and characters to touch hearts for decades. There's something about it that rings true and grabs people.

We like the songs too. The actors sang them live while they were filming, rather than recording them before or afterward. This imbued the whole thing with way more emotion than most movie musicals. Anne Hathaway was the first to make us cry. She was so good it isn't even funny. Russell Crowe and Amanda Seyfried were the weak links, but even they weren't terrible. Crowe can sing; he just can't sing that part. It's way too low for his voice. You need a bass voice, preferably opera-trained for that part. Crowe was brave to try it, but the movie would have been improved by a guy who could carry what is arguably the best role in the whole thing.

Hugh Jackman picked talk-singing and acting over actual singing a little too much for us, especially considering he can actually sing. There were moments when he was so focused on the acting that he went off key. Ern thought Eddie Redmayne was wonderful, but Leeard thought he sounded a little froggy. Samantha Barks's Eponine was predictably on point. Everyone loved the Broadway vet who played Enjolras, but we don't think he was the right voice for it. He should probably have played Marius, but we guess they wanted a movie start for Marius. Anyway, the whole cast is way better than most movie musical casts. We were happy with this movie. Hated the added song, "Suddenly," though. It was lame and creepy.
Episode grade: A 

Moonrise Kingdom- Okay, get through the first 30 minutes of this quirky comedy, and you will be rewarded. The first bit is a bunch of scenery, hipster-y music, kids running around, and confusing glimpses of what the plot may turn out to be about. Once you get into the action, you see why people are wild about this movie. It's adorable and well-acted. It's our favorite Wes Anderson movie (yes, we like it better than Rushmore).
Episode grade: A-

Django Unchained- Wow, that was an entertaining movie. It's Tarantino all the way. If you liked any of his other movies, you will like this one. It has the exaggerated characters, cruelty, and violence, as well as the dialogue, fitting soundtrack, and homages to other movies. Samuel L. Jackon's villain and Waltz's German bounty hunter stole the show from Foxx and Leo. As for allegations of racism, we didn't find it offensive, other than the use of that racist word. It had some really intense scenes too. Our only complaint was that Kerry Washington was given little to do besides be the damsel in distress. Tarantino women usually get much better treatment than that. Also, it's probably not as clever as it thinks it is. Pretty damn close though.
Movie grade: A

Silver Linings Playbook- Bradley Cooper does a surprisingly good job. We didn't know he could act that well. The script is good, but we found too many similarities to Garden State. But we loved this movie because of Jennifer Lawrence, girl crush of our dreams. It's not just because we love her. The energy she brought to this movie elevated it in every way. Every time she was onscreen, the scene was good. When she was off, you missed her.

When she was around, every other actor upped their game. She took a character who people could have written off as "slutty" and "annoying" and made her amazing in every way. The typical manic pixie dream girl is innocent and virginal. Not here. Tiffany was complicated and hilarious. If anyone else were playing her, this movie would have suffered.
Movie grade: B+

Vampire Diaries Spinoff Pilot Is Happening

We found out yesterday that this season, there will be a backdoor pilot for a show that is currently called The Originals. Klaus and his family go back to New Orleans, reunite with an old friend named Marcel, and take Hayley with them. Julie Plec will write this episode and be the showrunner.

Our reaction? What a stupid idea for a show! And they are going to spend a whole episode of the Vampire Diaries on this? Klaus as a main character?!! He's the worst person! He's charming and Byronic on TVD when he's surrounded by good guys and wooing Caroline. But just him and his family? Bleck. This is going to ruin the lives of Klaroline shippers. 

Also, we like Rebekah and Elijah on TVD. Still, it might be nice to have Klaus gone, finally. He's turned into a whiner and not much of a threat on the show. We need new bad guys. We like the character for the most part, but we don't like what he's been doing to this show's plots. We think the backdoor pilot will fail and not be picked up. 

Scandal, Season 2, episode 10, and Grey's Anatomy, Season 9, episode 10

Scandal: One for the Dog- Hot President is awake!! We knew the way things were going, with Sally threatening Mellie that the episode would end with Grant opening his eyes. He's going to be so angry when he finds out what his wife and aides did. This show is like The West Wing, only everyone's a liar and there's more sex. Grant should fire all these people. Even Olivia is just the worst person. We love it.

It's getting to where we've seen so many people tortured in entertainment that it doesn't even bother us anymore. How awful is that? We remember squirming watching 24 a decade ago, and now we just keep doing our hair and watching Huck get beaten and waterboarded out of the corner of our eyes. It wasn't a tame torture for TV either. It was pretty bad. The whole thing made us like David more though.

Nashville- Season 1, episode 9

Be Careful of Stones that You Throw- We're so close to the tour, we can smell it. Hopefully, the tour breathes new life into all of the plots. More good news: Teddy finally grew a pair. True, they are going to shrivel up and fall off next time Lamar changes tactics, but for now, we're glad to see him not be completely useless in every way.

Deacon, meanwhile, has gotten more interesting. He's not loving the rock-and-roll life, and he seems about two seconds from getting a drink. That music journalist he slept with/his ex is so beautiful. Unlike Rayna, she actually has a forehead. Yay! But neither his ex nor his picture on the cover of a magazine could quell his ennui. He needs to join Rayna's tour. Avery needs to have a humorous comeuppance at some point for all the betrayal.

We loved the song Twist of Barbed Wire. We've heard Scarlett do tons of old fashioned, quiet guitar pieces with Gunnar, so it's time she did something different. This rocked. It was way better than her last attempt to get grittier (the Johnny Cash cover that would have killed Cash if he were still alive). Scarlett should have joined that band. We guess some girls are just addicted to drama.

Happy Endings- Season three, episodes 7-9

We watched the Christmas episode where we found out that Jane was a "Christmas Baby," but we were too lazy to write anything about it here. Mostly because our thoughts amounted to: cute premise, funny episode. Not worth logging onto the blog to write that. This week, TWO episodes of Happy Endings aired. One was on the regular day and the other was on Sunday for Lord knows what reason. Maybe the network is trying to get more people to watch the show. Not many people have heard of it, and it's the most underrated comedy on right now. It doesn't even have a vocal cult like Community and Cougar Town do.

The Mindy Project- Season 1, episode 10

Mindy's Brother- If our brother wanted us to let him quit college, we might just let him. College might be  a scam unless you pick the right major or have a specific career plan. Seriously, before you go to college, read that. And don't go to law school.

Already been scammed by greedy universities or just need general motivation to make yourself better? Read this in its entirely. And this. See, this isn't just a comedy recap, it's a life changer! Yeeeee! Okay, onto the episode.

Good News for Cougar Town Fans

We watched the premiere on TBS last night, and the jump from network to cable didn't hurt the show at all. Everything is business as usual. Lots of quirky laughs, mean Ellie, and a soft center. Rejoice! It really made us want a glass of wine though, haha.