The Glee Project - Dance-ability and Vulnerability

Okay, so some of our opinions have changed since our first Glee Project season two post, where we covered the casting special and episode one. After episodes two and three, Leeard has decided she hates just about every contestant except for maybe Shanna. Leeard hates Aylin the most. Ern stands by most of our early picks. Mario is starting to get on both our nerves. We liked him at first because of his talent and cool backstory, but his arrogance and insistence on having everyone remember that he was “classically trained” is getting annoying. There is a lot of classical training out there. Some of it is bad. We don’t know if his was good. We should have known when Taryn went home that Ryan Murphy would use the extra week to save a contestant when he couldn’t make a decision. Not that we are complaining. Lily was on the chopping block again this week and so was Nellie. We cannot lose either of them so soon, especially Nellie. We get that these competitions can take their toll on sensitive people, so we aren’t going to say a word against Taryn in this post, although it’s too bad that we didn’t get to see more of her. We didn’t even know if she was good or not.

As for the guest mentors, Samuel was useless and Cory Montieth came across as fake and rehearsed, but hot. Lea Michele is the best mentor of the season so far (no surprise). We liked the "Party Rock Anthem" cover and video from episode two, and the bullying video "Everybody Hurts" was overwrought, but entertaining. Hey, this show isn’t making art here. They were remotely tolerable and that’s as good as things are going to get. We could totally see all the lip-syncing errors the directors were complaining about in "Everybody Hurts". Zach is so hot, even when he’s yelling at the kids for being horrible dancer. Actually, especially when he’s doing that.

We could not be more tired of Tyler or hearing about his changing body. During the dance episode, he thought the challenges were a tragedy for him, even though there is a both a blind guy and a girl in a wheelchair. Yeah, Tyler, your changing body is a real handicap. Artard. While Leeard hates everything to do with Aylin since she called herself a Muslim “bad ass” in one of her talking head portions, Ern is really shipping her and Charlie. Aylin wants Blake, because of hotness, but she threw Charlie a kiss because she’s a kissing slut (which is kind of ballsy). That was nice of her. Then she kissed Lily in the video too, even though Lily seems to be Aylin’s biggest frenemy on the show. Lily hates Aylin almost as much as Leeard does.

It’s weird that Nellie complained about Spin the Bottle, saying she doesn’t just kiss people, and she is one of the only people shown kissing in the video. Did they make everyone kiss someone and just pick the best kiss? Did Aylin just kiss everyone? If so, thank God we didn’t have to see that. What we did have to see was “vulnerability” in week three, meaning drama. We liked the cover of "My Life Would Suck Without U". It was possibly their best cover yet, even though it’s one of the fantastic Kelly Clarkson’s stupidest songs (according to Ern; It's Leeard's ringtone, so she obviously disagrees). We are not at all surprised that Lily was the bully in middle school (mostly because just about everyone bullied someone in middle school, at some point, but also because Lily can be kind of a bitch). Lily breaking down in her Ryan Murphy audition was a smart move, because he loves to see pathetic tears.

We are sick of Lily’s excuses, but we love when she does her sexy thing and her voice is good. She’s no Hannah though, and we are ashamed that we thought she could ever live up to that legacy. Dani was screwed over. Yeah, she didn’t show enough “life” in the stupid party video, because she’s mature and a real artist. The best partiers are sometimes the laid-back, calm people at the party. She seemed comfortable and confident lying on the couch, singing with her fantastic voice. The show was looking for pep and GLEE though, so she was sent home, and we don’t even get to download her cover of Landslide to comfort us.

Dani wasn’t bringing the drama. You can grab a blind guy’s stick, make excuses, and fight for lines in a stupid song, but you can’t be boring on this show and survive. If you can’t handle a real person, why did you even put her on the show, Glee Project? Tyler, Lily, and Dani were the bottom three for Dance-ability. Keeping Tyler was a crime. We almost stopped watching the show, in protest, but there’s not much else on in the summer. Remember everyone: Ryan Murphy is the High School Chorus Teacher of This World, and don’t you forget it or ever argue with him, even if his show insists on talking about people's "dance-ability" when that is not a real adjective, nor even a real word.

Dance-ability grade: C

Vulnerability grade: B+

Girls: Season One

Girls is the most polarizing new show of the year. People who hate it hate it with a passion, calling it the worst show ever made. We think that’s a bit much, even if you don’t hate Girls. Two and a Half Men is still on the air, after all. To support their hate, critics say that the main characters are too selfish, all the men are portrayed as dogs and users, and the show isn’t funny enough. We wonder if most of these people only watched the first two episodes which, admittedly, were difficult to love, since they were cold and had all that bad (fascinating) sex.

In the subsequent episodes, Girls became even more relatable and less stressful. It didn’t focus so much on Hannah Horvath being broke, jobless, and futureless. It focused a little more on her friendships and insecurities. Shoshanna emerged as the best character on the show. Part of that is that the show only gives her to us in moderation. The time she did crack and lost her pants was one of the show’s best moments. Leeard is mad at what Marnie did to Charlie, breaking up with him during sex after working so hard to get him back. Ern thinks it’s funny and fabulous. Ern was never a Charlie fan.

We are going to miss Kathryn Hahn as Jessa’s boss. We won’t much miss her husband. Kathryn Hahn is so gorgeous and we don’t think she gets enough credit for that. We both hated Adam in the first two episodes, calling him an uggo and a waste of space. But after that, he became the second best person on the show. He’s a complex, honest guy. Yeah, he’s still kind of a jerk, but we can’t wait to see more of him next year. Also, his jerkiness is related to his honesty, which we can appreciate. He's be a much better friend than a boyfriend though. Why did this season only have ten episodes instead of a billion? Didn’t HBO anticipate that we would need more?

The finale had quite a few surprises. We didn’t love the beach ending, but we did love Shoshanna hooking up with Ray, which is much better than hooking up with that one guy who wouldn’t sleep with her because she was a virgin. We loved Ray’s lines in the finale. We also loved Jessa trying to speed up maturity by marrying that dick head Wall Street guy (Chris O'Dowd!). The wedding was cute, very Jessa, and it made perfect sense after her ex-boss’ pep talk. We wonder if, next year, she will be divorced and have half of his money. The relationship could be interesting to watch, if only because the actor playing her new husband (Chris O'Dowd!!!!!) does his part really well, but we think a divorce meltdown would be even more entertaining.

Season one is only five hours long, total, so we think you should check it out and give it a chance, if you don't mind raunch and language. Overall, it makes us smile. Everyone’s talking it about it. For being so short and new, it’s really got us hooked. We looked forward to a new episode every week. We think this show is going to come into its own and outgrow its critics as it matures and develops its four main characters more. We could use a little more Shoshanna, but not much. Sometimes you want to hit the characters, but at least the show makes you care, right? But warning: Some people hate this show so much. You might be one of them.

Season grade: A-

Pretty Little Liars - Kingdom of the Blind review

Spoilers follow. 

Is it just us, or are the clothes on this show getting better? We have our Mona back! Well, with a dash of cray cray. She's talking and gossiping again. We love the plot where Caleb hates Mona and wants her to hurt for trying to kill Hanna. He was never a fan, but the hatred has increased for sure. If Hanna doesn’t stop lying to Caleb, she is going to lose him and she is going to deserve it. Lucas sets fires now. Leeard has been looking forward to Crazy Lucas. Ern hates Lucas’ voice, so she is over both Crazy Lucas and Regular Lucas. (It has no presence.) Leeard likes his voice. Ern likes MONA’S voice. Bitch crazy, but bitch can sing. We will never be sick of Crazy Mona.

The big plot development this week was the Liars confronting Jenna for being able to see. Jenna has been going to a gun shop, which is super creepy. We loved Hanna stepping in front of Jenna’s car and forcing the confrontation. Whenever Jenna shows vulnerability, it really works. We feel sorry for her, even though she’s a rapist. Do we believe her about being threatened? We’re not sure. We don’t care much about the plot where Ezra and Ella are becoming friends again. It was smart of Emily to try to get to the bottom of the cheating though. Since she came out, Emily has been the one always trying to tell the truth. Bless her. We like when the girls use their brains.

We still miss the time that Veronica Hastings was cool. She really needs to level with Spencer, or Spencer is going to go crazier, find out the truth, kill them all, and paint the house with their blood. Mrs. Hastings needs to communicate better, but we agree that Garrett deserves a competent defense. We love that Melissa is becoming an alcoholic. Spencer confronted Melissa, who has finally returned from Mystic Falls (or DC), about being in Alison’s room the night of the murder. Spencer gets absolutely no information out of her sister, which is disappointing. Even more disappointing: Hanna got no information from Mona. We liked when she started screaming in Caleb’s face though. Pure entertainment and not much plot development this week.

Episode grade: B+

Bunheads - For Fanny

Michelle goes into a restaurant/bar. The guy running it is no Luke Danes. He is, in fact, old and an uggo (and MITCHUM HUNTZBERGER!). Michelle doesn’t like dogs?! What?!! COMMUNIST. We liked seeing that Pushing Daisies alumna as the crazy ex-Wiccan. We loved “Ain’t She Sweet” from last week and lamented that we couldn’t find that version of the song to buy on iTunes. This week’s song wasn’t as good, but it was still pretty good. We love that creator Amy Sherman-Palladino can exhibit her music taste better on this show by having the girls dance to it. Lane showed us on Gilmore Girls that Amy is quite the audiophile. We like that Sasha is showing a lot of heart, because it’s great to round out her character from the pilot. She’s still the troublemaking, spoiled leader of the pack, but we think we are going to like her.

It would have been inappropriate for Michelle to openly grieve immediately. When she finally asserted that she was “going through this too,” it was after she had given everyone leeway to take all the grieving rights. But using the words “crazy” and trying to change the memorial was arguably wrong. The predictable solution was for Michelle to make the memorial happen. It wasn’t very Buddhist though. Suck it, Shonda Rhimes. We saw dancers “of color” in the background during the memorial. The Grey’s Anatomy creator tweeted a while back, “Hey @abcfbunheads: really? You couldn’t cast even ONE young dancer of color so I could feel good about my kid watching this show? NOT ONE?” It’s funny that Shonda thinks all TV casting needs to be either a crusade or a rejection of one.

This episode proved that Amy’s actresses can really dance. That’s what they were picking: actresses with ballet backgrounds extensive enough to perform that memorial dance, not actresses who represented every color of the rainbow. The show is new. New, more diverse cast members may pop up. We love seeing black actresses get lead roles (we praised Shonda’s Scandal for it), but we don’t think you need to go after someone else’s fragile, cute show for casting all white actresses who are perfect for their parts. Amy responded, saying (among other things) that there wasn’t much time or budget for a casting search. We know the names of the other two main dancers! They are Melanie and Ginny. Ginny is the blonde. Boo and Sasha round out the main four. Boo’s real name is Bettina. They are all perfect for their roles.

The episode’s end had another twist, but a more predictable one. Hubbell left everything (the land and the house) to Michelle, not Fanny. We loved Michelle’s swig of beer after hearing the news. Sutton Foster (Michelle) is growing on us with every minute we look at her and her facial expressions, which are comedy gold. She can convey everything with a deadpan glare. This episode was a little slow in parts for us, especially when Fanny was planning her crazy memorial. We get it, show. It was crazy. The episode was also, obviously, kind of a bummer. The episode had to happen though. The Truly stuff was funny. Our favorite lines were: “I didn’t mean to scare you with hell.” “It’s okay. That’s what Hell is for.” They were delivered in the perfect, teary way.

Less perfect was the delivery of some of Amy’s more cutesy lines. The young dancers struggled with making their dialogue seem believable and needed more guidance in how to equal Lauren Graham’s delivery. Even Kelly Bishop didn’t feel genuine. We hope the show gets better at feeling natural while keeping the clever jokes. Don’t force it, Amy, it’s going to come across as a false, soulless copy of Gilmore Girls, rather than a show with its own loveable characters. The show is still building toward its main plots, where Michelle will teach the girls to dance and hopefully find her Luke Danes. When the show is done with set-up, we expect it to feel more genuine. We still think you should be watching it, if only to help the ratings, because it has so much potential to be awesomesauce. The best part was the dog-walking part.

Episode grade: B-

True Blood - season 5, episode two “Authority Always Wins”

Spoiler warning

This episode wasn’t much of an improvement from last week. Tara rises like an animal, and it’s actually kind of cool and morbid. She can’t be tamed. At least she’s quieter. Then she gets back to herself a little, says, “I’ll never forgive you” to Lafayette and Sookie, and runs off. Tara’s angry at someone?!! What a change! It seems like she will be getting completely different storylines now that she’s a vampire and it’s a whole new season! We hope you are getting all the sarcasm there.

The much-hyped backstory of how Pam met Eric is lame so far. Steve Newlin just needs to go away. He’s the kind of gay guy that gives gays, Christians, Republicans, and men everywhere a bad name. He isn’t funny and he isn’t scary. He’s still in the closet about being gay. The best thing about his existence is Jessica throwing him out of her house and throwing his hair. We liked Hoyt’s mom’s reaction to Jason breaking up Hoyt’s relationship. Pies for Jason!

Luna acted pretty crazy when Sam suggested that Luna not cut Emma off from her grandmother, Martha. Emma is a cute little wolf. Marcus’s body looked too fake to be gross when it was all partially eaten. We don’t get to see a ton of Alcide and just about everyone keeps their clothes on this week. We don’t get much progression on the Terry stuff. He just acts crazy and agrees to go with Patrick to look for their missing fellow soldier.

We liked Nora getting shut up and slapped when she tried to lie. We also like Chris Meloni as the head of the Authority (the Guardian). True Blood is tackling religion, the church, and fanaticism by showing us the vampire religion. They are like vampire Catholics from the Inquisition days and they definitely believe the government should be a theocracy with them at the head. Greeeeeaat. That will be so fun, True Blood of all the dumb f*** shows getting political and throwing out commentary.

We’ve seen the Lilith myth used in much better ways. Most of the effort is devoted to the Authority torturing Bill and Eric. They tell the Guardian that Russell Edgington is alive and about. That way, they can be offered to Russell as bait so that he can be caught and killed. Then he won’t go after Sookie. Sookie’s got a mean air freshener on her side though. She might not need their protection! Yeah, that was more sarcasm. Sookie needs to get a sawed-off shotgun with silver ammo and start working on how to get better control of her fairy powers. This show makes one of us miss The Vampire Diaries.

Overall, this episode was boring and mostly set-up. But the last image was gross enough to make it worth watching. This season had better get good, quick. We miss Jesus. Kill Tara and bring back Jesus!

Episode grade: C+

Scandal - Both of us are finally caught up/finished with season one

One of us was caught up a while ago and freaking out that the other blogger couldn’t talk about the developments on this show since we last covered it because they were substantial. They were, to use the hated phrase, game changers, both plotwise and regarding our opinion of the show/whether we are going to watch season two. We were only behind on four out of the seven episodes and here’s what we thought of them.

"Enemy of the State": Olivia gives Amanda Tanner pregnancy tests and they are positive. Chief of Staff Cyrus Beene declares war on Olivia when he finds out that she intends to back her client, Amanda, in a public takedown of President Grant. While Cyrus digs into the personal lives of Olivia’s team, Quinn goes out with a reporter, Gideon, who wants to know more about Amanda Tanner. The client of the week is a dictator with a missing wife and children. He is on American soil and feels he will get no help from American authorities, since he is as despised as Castro. It turns out that his wife was leaving him, and Olivia helps her do it.

Comments: Well, we still hate Abby and seeing a backstory where she was a beaten and abused wife doesn’t help us like her much. She’s just too holier-than-thou. We did like that she forced Olivia to step up and be a good guy. By this point, the show had pretty much eliminated the moral ambiguity we mentioned before. It’s a good thing, since we aren’t confused anymore, but it’s also bad in that there were interesting grey-area aspects to the show that could have been explored more. It seems they have been abandoned. As we will see, the show even eliminated much of the moral problem with having Olivia sleep with President Grant. 
Episode grade: B-

"Crash and Burn": Pope & Associates must defend a dead pilot from media accusations of incompetence and drunkenness on the job after a plane she is flying crashes, killing everyone onboard. They succeed. Amanda Tanner is killed and Huck tortures the man hired to kill her for information. Her body is found. We meet Vice President Sally Langston and President Grant goes to Olivia’s apartment to assure Olivia that he didn’t kill Amanda Tanner.

Comments: Here’s something we don’t like - the vice president. We know a ton of Republicans and a ton of fundamentalist Christians, judgmental and perfectly nice alike. We know a ton of creationists. None of them speak the way she speaks. None of them come across that way. The way she mentions God’s plan seems forced, not fundamentalist. Maybe it’s the performance and maybe it’s the lines, but it’s not believable. The character seems to exist only to make these kinds of people look like stupid, hypocritical dinosaurs. She’s a cliché and a stock character. What we do like is that President Grant seems to be some sort of progressive, competent Republican who doesn’t base his political career on religion. Usually, the honest, sympathetic politicians on TV are Democrats, and we like to see a break from the usual (especially since we tend to think both parties are equally messed up). This is where the show started to feel less like a Grey’s Anatomy that takes itself even more seriously than Grey’s Anatomy and more like 24 and The West Wing. We liked the "just like 43" line. It does seem like George W Bush to try to escape and run around the real world, haha. 
Episode Grade: B+

"The Trail": It turns out that Amanda’s baby wasn’t President Grant’s and he only slept with her once, out of grief over Olivia leaving him. We get to see flashbacks from two years ago showing us Olivia’s work on Grant’s campaign and the start of their relationship. Olivia worked to make Grant’s marriage look warm and alive. We find out that Mellie cheated on Grant and that she’s a huge liar. Olivia is the person on the tape sleeping with Grant and someone is blackmailing him with it, even though the blackmailer thinks the girl is Amanda. Gideon finds out that Billy, the VP’s number two, was Amanda’s secret boyfriend who impregnated her. Gideon confronts Billy and Billy stabs Gideon in the neck with a pair of scissors. Billy is the guy who had Amanda killed.

Comments: We both hate and love this episode. We hate it because Shonda has used this same formula to justify an affair before. Because Addison slept with Mark on Grey’s, it’s okay for Derek to sleep with Meredith and have it end up the show’s best romantic relationship. Because Mellie cheated first, it’s okay for Fitz to cheat. Shonda wants us invested in the love between Grant and Olivia and it feels like she’s taking a shortcut and making it too easy for us to get there. If you're going to set up a shady love story, do it. Don't rehash a Grey's convenience. We also hate that Mellie is so unsympathetic and coldly ambitious. She’s like Michelle Palmer on 24. It’s just all too easy. We love that we got to see the backstory of why Olivia and Grant even slept together. At this point in the show, it was essential that this be explained. We also love that we get to be invested in this relationship now that we know he isn’t just a serial cheater and total scumbag. The Amanda thing was one-time and he really loved Olivia. His marriage is beyond dead and reconciliation is impossible since Mellie is pretty much a monster (an awesome monster whom Leeard loves, but a monster nonetheless). Since President Grant and Olivia’s forbidden love is the center of this show, it’s good that we can kind of root for it now. We also liked the state attorney’s assistant who failed the bar and loved the line, “All lawyers pass the bar. That’s what makes them lawyers.” 
Episode Grade: B+

"Grant: For the People": Quinn finds Gideon, still alive, and pulls the scissors out of his neck. He bleeds out and dies. Quinn calls Olivia and Olivia has the team cover for Quinn. Quinn has a secret identity and is wanted by government authorities for some reason. If she is fingerprinted or booked, or if the cops investigate her fully, her identity will be revealed. The state attorney eventually figures out who she is. We don’t get to know. The episode ends on that cliffhanger. Billy gets on TV, resigns, and confesses to his affair with Amanda, but he also tells the media that President Grant slept with her, driving her to suicide. Cyrus contacts Olivia and gets her help with the crisis. President Grant wants to come clean about the affair and live a normal life with Olivia, but Mellie and Olivia work together to make Grant’s denial of the affair plausible. Cyrus reminds Olivia that Grant is a great man whose administration should continue for the good of the country. And besides, nobody wants a President Sally Langston.

Comments: This was a really good finale. Ern is livid that Quinn pulled the scissors out of Gideon’s neck. What an idiot. Didn’t that girl go to law school? If you further hurt someone when trying to help them, you can be sued for it anyway. Leeard maintains that Gideon would have died anyway, but Ern isn’t so sure. He was alive for that long. (We don't actually know how long he was alive for. She only went to get bagels). The right thing to do was to not cause more damage or faster bleeding, but to call 911 asap. Anyway…we liked Grant’s desire to tell the truth. It made us like him more. We also liked Olivia’s unselfish decision. It’s cool that Quinn is finally becoming useful as a character. We don't really care about her, but if she gets some backstory, we might. We think she might be a child who was kidnapped and doesn't want to be reunited with her family. We don't know how we feel about the team defacing the crime scene and making sure Billy would never be convicted in the process. Mellie was entertaining in this episode. Maybe she's too one-side, but she's sure fun to watch. She doesn't love her husband. She was mad at Olivia for leaving him, dropping the ball, and making him depressed enough to sleep with Amanda. Mellie thinks her husband is a good president, but most of all, she just wants to keep being first lady. Keep conspiring, Mellie. Olivia and Fitz have real chemistry, but is he a master manipulator or a victim who is denied love by life's circumstances? Probably the latter, because this is Shondaland. 
Episode Grade: A-

We have heard that Henry Ian Cusick (Stephen Finch and Desmond Hume on LOST) won’t be returning as part of the main cast. This is a huge loss for the show, but we've heard it's basically because Shonda thinks he's too good for the show, which we can't really argue with. Shonda Rhimes said that the second season will likely have 13 or fewer episodes. The show is good enough now that it deserves more episodes. We will definitely be watching season two. The show really grew into itself, gave us people to root for, and became faster paced in the last couple of episodes. It did a lot in seven episodes. There’s nothing else on TV quite like it. If it sounds interesting to you, watch it. We’re onboard. 

Your Highness....

is not a good movie. However, there are some funny parts. We'd recommend it for people who like to get stoned and watch movies with their friends.

Father’s Day List: The best dad currently on TV, a competition

We won’t be mentioning Coach Taylor or Charles Ingalls. This is a competition to find the best dad on television shows that are not cancelled or finished yet. 

The contenders:

Cameron Tucker - Modern Family and Mitchell Pritchett- Modern Family. These two go together, obviously. Cam’s fun approach compliments Mitchell’s worried, actual-parent approach. But we’re going to count these guys out early because of the creepy clown antics and the fact that they are always fighting. Yeah, it’s funny, so you hardly notice, but think about it. Most of their plots involve some petty disagreement. The writers need something new to do with these characters. Lily’s kind of unlikeable too.

Bobby Cobb - Cougar Town. Grayson isn’t in the running, since he just found out that Tampa exists. Andy? Well, Stan is a demon child. So that just leaves Bobby. Travis is an alright little guy and Bobby is his dad. Still, Bobby is bad at everything. He always crashes his son’s college place, lives on a boat, named his dog Travis, Jr. because the dog reminds him of his son, and thinks the best activity in the world is throwing pennies in a can. Bobby is fun and occasionally doles out good advice (worded badly, but the heart of it is usually good), but we’re going to bet that Travis turned out well in spite of Bobby and because of Jules. Still, we love him, so he deserves a mention.

Phil Dunphy - Modern Family. We thought of him instantly because of the way he pals around with Luke and this season’s episode where he found out that Haley lost her V-card. This might be the most adorable dad on TV right now, while also the most traditional. He makes an effort to please Claire (part of being a good father is being a good husband) and bond with Alex, even if it just ends with Alex vomiting. His cluelessness works against him in this contest, but as of right now, he’s a strong contender for best dad on TV. He may be the funniest character on the whole dang show too. 

Dexter Morgan - Dexter. Dexter turned out to be a much better dad than we had anticipated. Dexter makes sure his son has a good nanny, worries that Harrison will turn out like him, rushes to save Harrison when he is kidnapped, hugs him, talks to him, and provides for him. But Dexter loses major points for the…you know…whole serial killer thing.

Tom Mason - Falling Skies. This father and his sons are the heart of this show. Tom does a lot to save and protect his offspring from alien invasion. But we’d like to give the award to a dad with a little more personality. Personality goes a long way. You want to actually hang out with your dad and enjoy it. Our dads are weird, but they’re better than Tom because they aren’t boring. And we’re sure they’d do alright protecting us from aliens. They both have enough guns.

Tywin and Jaime Lannister - Game of Thrones. Bah haha. Just kidding. Tywin's too mean to Tyrion. Since Ned and Robert left, there aren’t that many dads on this show. Jaime? He has incest babies. Has he even seen them in the last couple of years? We’re not giving the award to someone who pushed someone else’s kid out the window.

Randy Marsh- South Park. He’s a contender purely for hilarity’s sake, and you have to admit that he’s better than Kenny’s dad.

Dr. Walter Bishop - Fringe. He’s made some major mistakes, but he would do anything for Peter and he’s so sweet. He’s not going to beat Phil Dunphy, but we thought we’d at least put him on the list.

Tad Horvath - Girls. He’s on the list for cutting Hannah off from his bank account, because that’s really the best thing for that girl. You can totally be the voice of your generation, Hannah. We think you have what it takes, but get a job while you’re at it. We know Tad is always there if Hannah really starts drowning, but tough love is necessary. Plus, it’s hilarious that he’s secretly gay, according to Hannah’s gay ex. But then we saw him go to town on his wife. Secretly bi maybe?

Mark Sloan - Grey’s Anatomy. Derek couldn’t even do his baby’s hair, so he’s not the pick from this show. Mark has been at this longer, and he’s always into it, all the time. He’s always wanted a baby (remember how sad he was about Addison’s abortion) and now he has one. He stepped up to it enthusiastically, even taking some BS from Arizona in the process. Plus, he's a doctor so he will likely push hard for his daughter's education...and he'll be able to fund it.

Marshall Erikson - How I Met Your Mother. It’s early, but we’re sure Marshall is going to be a cool, kick-ass dad. He’s a good husband, friend, and lawyer, after all. But he named his son Marvin Waitforit Eriksen and then took his baby on his first outing…to a bar. That’s not a good start, but we know Marshall will make up for those things.

Don Draper - Mad Men. You know Pete won’t get the nomination. But Don has been staying in his kids’ lives after his divorce, letting them come over when they need a break from fat Betty. He took Sally as his date to his awards party, he works hard, he gave them a good stepmom, and he insisted that Sally take off her hooker boots and get rid of the makeup. He’s protecting her innocence like any good, square dad would. He's not good at marriage, but he's not ditching his kids.

Burt Hummel - Glee. Stop the contest. This is the winner. Just kidding. Maybe. Burt’s best moments came last season. This season, it seems like he’s been too busy being a Congressman, and he also made us watch him do the "Single Ladies" Dance. Still, this is every gay guy’s dream dad and the heart of this increasingly shallow show. Also, this speech: “"For most guys, sex is just always this thing we want to do...But it’s about more than just the physical. When you're intimate with someone in that way, you're exposing yourself. You're never gonna be more vulnerable, and that scares the hell out of a lot of guys... For you, it’s worse. With two guys you've got two people who think that sex is just sex. It's gonna be easier to come by and once you start, you aren't gonna want to stop. You gotta know that it means something. It's doing something to you, to your heart, to your self-esteem, even though it feels like you're just having fun...When you're ready, I want you to be able to do everything. But when you're ready, I want you to use it as a way to connect to another person. Don't throw yourself around like you don't matter, because you matter, Kurt…That’s it, for now. Can I make you some toast?"

Crosby Braverman - Parenthood. We usually don’t compliment Crosby, but the guy really stepped up this year. He got Jasmine back, which should be great for Jabbar. Crosby also opened a music studio this year. Jabbar is still the cutest, nicest kid ever, even if he lost patience with Max this year. And who was around to help Jabbar handle the Max situation? His dad, Crosby, who is really growing up.

Jimmy Chance - Raising Hope. Jimmy is doing his best and, as it turns out, his best is pretty good. And hilarious.

Byron Montgomery - Pretty Little Liars. He put the smackdown on the Ezra situation. Well, he tried to. That’s really all he’s got going for him. He cheated on Ella, had Aria keep his cheating a secret, had no idea what his son was doing last season, lost his marriage, and is now hanging out with Meredith. Objecting to his teenage daughter sleeping with a grown man is less a good-dad move and more of a cave man’s knee-jerk reaction. ONLY I MAY SLEEP WITH YOUNGER WOMEN.

George Altman - Suburgatory. He gets points for understanding his daughter. He loses points for making her move to the suburbs. Overall though, this is an exceptional TV dad. And those of you who are George/Tessa shippers: stop it. Please. It's super creepy.

Martin Bohm - Touch. Martin will stop at nothing to communicate with Jake and make sure Jake is happy, healthy, and fulfilling his purpose. Martin leaves no stone unturned in the mystery of why Jake is the way he is and what patterns Jake sees. Martin runs frantically all around the sitting doing Jake’s mystic errands. He’s a little impulsive, can't fight like Jack Bauer, sometimes makes rash decisions, and he has a short temper, but he’s always gentle with Jake. Touch only works because Martin’s a devoted father, and he’s definitely in the top three on this list.

Chris Brinkley - Up All Night. The good: His relationship with his wife and the way he stays home and takes care of his baby. The bad: Chris is going to embarrass that poor kid SO MUCH in her teenage years.

Richard Castle - Castle. Alexis is definitely far from our favorite character, but their relationship is definitely a great part of the show. We want a dad who will play laser tag with us! Especially an epic decade-long battle like theirs.

We’re giving it to Martin Bohm this year. Congrats, Martin! Who’s your pick?

Continuum - Recaps of episodes 2 and 3

We realize it’s important to recap shows that other sites ignore, even though we hardly ever do it. But we’ll try to do it for this show. If you don't care for recaps and know what happened, just skip to the "comments" and grades :-)

"Fast Times" What happened: We find out more about Kiera’s technology. It’s mostly in her clothes. She has a sleeve that can taze people, receive pictures, send wireless signals, and start cars. Her clothes can change color and texture. She can type messages on her pants. She also has a recording device implanted into her cortex, and this is how young Alec sees everything Kiera sees. We meet Carlos’ ex, a fellow-cop named Betty. Kiera tells Carlos that although he is hot, Betty will have nothing to worry about from her. Kiera’s lack of a believable identity becomes a problem and she is arrested. Carlos wants to believe Kiera is good, since she saved his life, but his boss thinks she’s working with the terrorists. Kiera and Carlos are riding in a police station elevator when it stops and Kiera falls into him. Smooth, show.

The baddies spend the episode trying to get back to the future. They break into a power company’s substation (killing two in the process) and try to power up their time travelling sphere. This fails, but they take out the electricity in the area. This allows Kiera to taze Carlos with her Sleeve and handcuff Carlos to the elevator. As she leaves, she tells him, essentially “Sometimes I’m going to do crazy things, but you’re just going to have to trust me even though you have absolutely no reason to.” She says this as if it is reasonable. Carlos is freed by his fellow police officers.

Alec figures out that the terrorists are now looking for Simon Fraser, a scientist/inventor who might be able to power up their sphere. Alec pretty much pulls this out of nowhere, showing brilliance we don’t quite believe. The terrorists get to Fraser before Kiera does. Back at the station, Betty tells Carlos that Kiera is making him look like a fool, using him. Thanks, bitch. Betty knows that Kiera is working with a hacker and Carlos tells him to find the hacker’s identity. Betty can’t.

The terrorists take Simon to the local university where they can probably power-up their sphere using a “linear collider” Simon invented. Kiera finds out their location from Simon’s wife and calls Carlos, clueing him in. Kiera goes to the university herself, planning to jump into the time vortex with the terrorists and go home to her family. Yeah, this is episode two, so we knew that wasn’t going to work. Kiera saves Simon though. The sphere bursts, leaving a piece in the university. A shoot-out ensues and the cops show up, but the terrorists all escape.

Kiera is arrested but then released when Alec creates an identity for her: special agent with the federal government. The internet tells the cops they can trust her. We’d think that they’d put in a few calls and talk to Kiera’s actual employers, but they don’t. Even though they know that she might be working with a hacker. Mmhmm. Carlos’ boss asks Kiera to work with him to catch the terrorists and gives Carlos to her as a partner. Kiera sees that the police have collected the piece of sphere that the terrorists are missing. We see some stupid flashback where Kiera tucks her son in and gets grief from her husband about her job.

Comments: One thing we forgot to mention in the pilot post is how the writers of this show lack subtlety. It’s not hard to understand exactly what is going on and the motives of the characters. While this is welcome, we still wish a little more were shown, not told. The dialogue is weak for the most part, but the narrative continues to intrigue. One of the terrorists (the one with the white hair) acts like a little skater girl or something. This show would be a lot better if the terrorists were at all scary, substantial, or charismatic. That’s where the potential for Dumbledores and Professor Snapes were. Once again, we are missing interesting characters. Kiera’s husband looks like an accountant and seems pretty boring. Maybe he’s a bad guy working with terrorists. That would be cool. There are some plot holes starting to show, but the pacing on this show is good enough that we don’t care and want to keep watching.

Episode grade: B-

"Wasting Time" What happened: Protectors climb up stairs, looking for terrorists. A few explosions later and the Protectors bag the “Queen of Hearts.” That was a flashback (forward?). In 2012, Kiera is at her new police station, telling the cops about the terrorists. We finally get them fully named. Travis, ex-special forces. Lucas, arrogant bomb maker played by a horrible actor. Curtis Chen, obviously the Asian guy and ex soldier with aggression issues and psychotic tendencies. Jasmine Garza (the blonde), “weapons, vehicles.” Matthew Kellogg, con artist, social engineer, and liar. Edouard Kagame, the old guy and leader who didn’t make the time jump. Sonya Valentine, the Queen of Hearts and former doctor with a high IQ. We cut to Sonya boning and betraying someone. Terrorists talk about nothing.

Kellogg finds Kiera in a restaurant. He wants to stay in 2012 and says he doesn’t approve of his colleagues’ violent actions. He says he will be in touch and we are left wondering what he actually wants from Kiera. Just cooperation sometimes? Kiera and Carlos visit the morgue and see Sonya’s victim. Sonya removed the pituitary gland, looking for human growth hormones that would be valuable on the black market to athletes. They see another body, that of a Brian Young. Alec's family invites him downstairs for a meeting of anti-corporation people who perceive what’s going to happen in the future. It’s Roland and Julian’s group. Alec thinks they are all full of crap.

One of the terrorists, Travis, is hurt and discusses (with Chen) taking Kellogg out because Kellogg has been breaking ranks and acting weird. Kellogg uses Lucas’ computer to “set that bitch (Kiera) up.” Alec finds out that both of Sonya’s victims donated sperm to the same clinic. Kiera and Carlos obtain their medical records and find out that they both have an identical chromosome that’s tied to pituitary mutation. Sonya can use the pituitary glands to create some sort of super steroid. Kiera starts looking at the clinics records to find more potential victims. This all leads to a set-up by Kellogg at a local college. Carlos and Chen shoot it out and fight. It’s a really long fight scene and Chen wins. Kiera shoots Kellogg in the neck. He gets a welt on it, curses, and leaves. Kiera gets back to Carlos just in time to save him. Cue another long fight scene. Kiera wins and Chen dies.

The terrorists use the steroids on Travis, healing him. Travis and Sonya make out. Kellogg gets home and blames Curtis Chen for everything that went wrong that day. Kellogg has a homing beacon in his bloodstream, planted by Kiera’s shot, that will last 24 hours. Carlos lies about who killed Chen to take the heat off of Kiera, which makes no sense and could get them both into more trouble than it’s worth. Kiera’s suit was damaged in the fight, so she can’t track Kellogg. Alec helps her out and Kiera goes to the terrorists’ stolen home. She finds Kellogg abandoned and tied up. They should have left a bomb on the front porch or something, the morons. Kellogg: “Hey, don’t you love how I gave you Curtis Chen? Also, wanna bone?” Kiera turns this generous offer down, but she unties him. We go back to the flashforward as Kiera remembers Sonya planting an explosive for the cops. She yells for Kellogg to run and they jump in the pool right as Sonya’s current device explodes. We guess the terrorists aren’t such morons after all. That’s nice. Kiera steals the sphere piece from the police station.

In Betty news, Betty compliments Kiera's hair and brings Carlos/Kiera coffee. We've decided she is useless and we hate her.

Comments: Someone actually utters the words, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” lending credence to our opinion that the script writers are bad with lines. We like Kellogg and the Queen of Hearts terrorist. We said before that we wanted the terrorists to be more interesting. Having Kellogg breaking with the other terrorists, wanting to stay, and seeming like a reasonable guy is a good thing. While this episode didn’t move forward much (other than having Chen die), it gave us a better, much-needed look at Liber8. It might have seemed procedural, but this show needed to slow down and develop some people and it did.

Episode grade: B

And with that, we are all caught up on this show.

New show: Continuum (pilot and premise discussion)

In order to give a premise, we spoil the first ten minutes and a few other things about the pilot. But if you don’t know if the show is for you, you should read this anyway to ascertain that.

We watched the pilot of Continuum and will make no jokes about the John Mayer album of the same name. Another Canadian import, this show (recommended to us by a regular commenter) is science fiction set in 2077, a time when democracy has ended and corporations rule. That’s actually pretty believable. Without the constitution’s protection and the people’s will, the corporate dictatorship has removed basic social freedoms and the people are watched closely (like in Orwell’s 1984). A terrorist group (Liber8) wants to reestablish democracy, but the eight members use despicable tactics (causing the collateral deaths of innocents) to further their means. They have been arrested, but they escape and go back in time to 2012.

In 2077, City Protective Services, CPS, are the cops and one of them is Protector Kiera Cameron, a young wife and mother. Kiera is also transported to back in time, and it’s up to her to catch the terrorists and stop them from changing the past. Kiera makes contact with a young nerd, Alec Sadler. She poses as a cop and starts working with a 2012 police department. In 2077, Alec Sadler is the head of the corporation with the technology that sent Kiera back in time, and his old self seems unsurprised by everything going down (smiling as Kiera and the terrorists disappear).

Kiera is played by Rachel Nichols, who we remember as the 21-year-old who tried to have a threesome with Samantha and Richard in Sex and the City. We like her much better years later and as a brunette. She looks a little harsher and less perfect, as the role requires. She’s a cop, not a model. And the hair also makes her look older so we can take her seriously. She’s not nearly as annoying, which means that the actress is more versatile than we had first surmised on S+tC. So far, she’s an appealing lead, reminding us of Kahlan in the Legend of the Seeker series. Some of the other actors are bad, especially the man playing Lucas. He needs to die soon, just for this.

One of the things we don’t like about the show is the fact that we haven’t gotten to see a lot about 2077 so far. Would it have been too much to have a main character working in 2077? This show could have supported two coexisting storylines, one in the past and one in the future, and two main characters. That way, we would have gotten to compare and contrast the times, government regimes, technology, and culture more. The thing we most want to see is more character development. Sci-fi and fantasy excels at making us care about characters, and so far, we don’t care about the people on this show. They are stock and unoriginal as of the pilot.

We doubt that Kiera’s trip back in time is actually a “one-way ticket.” We like that Kiera has a family back in the future because that adds complications for her. It might stifle any romance in 2012, but we doubt it. Cheating’s common on TV, regrettably. We won’t like a cheating plot, but we do like the tension Kiera experiences in wanting to reunite with her son and husband. Our resident hot guy is Kiera’s fellow 2012 cop, Carlos. We want to know a little more about Alec Sadler. So far, he’s a funny little nerd. We also like that Kiera took a little futuristic technology with her and that the terrorists intend to start a war in 2012.

Entertaining TV sci-fi and decent summer programs are hard to come by, so we appreciate this series for being watchable in both a genre and seasonal drought. We’re digging the premise, female lead, and pacing, so we’re going to catch up and keep watching. It’s a serial, and we eat those up. There are only ten episodes in the first season, after all, and this show might experience a struggle gaining and keeping viewers. It’s not like it’s been advertised enough. Come on, networks. Let people know what shows you are carrying and we will watch them, dangit.

A Stitch in Time: B+

Game of Thrones - Blackwater, the finale, and season two

Spoilers for season two follow. We finally finished season two of Game of Thrones, a show we usually never get behind on. Oh, Europe trip, ruining our TV lives and yet enriching our real ones. What is with Game of Thrones and having knock-you-on-your-ass penultimate episodes? Last year, they killed Ned Stark in the episode before the finale and this year, they had one of the best, if not the best, battles ever filmed for television. In "Blackwater", Stannis Baratheon attacked King’s Landing and lost due to Tyrion and a late arrival by Tywin Lannister. “These are brave men knocking at our door. Let’s go kill them.” That’s an even better line than, “They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our freedom.” We actually felt bad for Stannis in the moment of his army’s retreat. There was a great Bronn/Tyrion bromance moment too. Keep the love alive, show. We’re digging it.

That episode was so good. It was maybe our favorite of the entire series, possibly because it was so Tyrion centric. It was his first wartime battle and he did admirably, as we knew he would. It’s also unsurprising that Cersei just got drunk and crazy and Joffrey acted like a humungous coward. But Peter. Freaking. Dinklage. We would follow you into any battle. HALF MAN. HALF MAN. It’s about time we got an episode of this show that was so focused on action and a simple plot. So many people actually ship Sansa and The Hound, but Ern does not (Leeard does). We loved The Hound abandoning the battle though. It seemed like the finale was set up to fail, having to follow this episode. But it was good too.

In the finale, "Valar Morghulis", Tyrion wakes up after the battle, wounded, and realizes that Tywin Lannister is getting all the credit for Stannis’ defeat. Tyrion has been replaced as Hand of the King, which is not a good idea. Tywin can’t even keep his horse from pooping all over the throne room floor! Joffrey is still on the iron throne, which is such a travesty. The good news is that Sansa doesn’t have to marry Joffrey now. We feel like Margaery will be better able to handle Joffrey and play the game. She went from Beard to Queen in one season. Of course, she doesn’t yet know what a dick Joffrey is, even though it should be obvious just by looking at him. This may not go well for Margaery, but we are anxious to see her square off against the equally devious Cersei. Run, Sansa. Run. For the last freaking time, leave! But no, she’s staying.

We get to see Brienne and Jaime Lannister is still talking. He starts offering her sex. Three dudes show up and Brienne delivers quite the arse whooping. We’ve been wanting to see that out of her for weeks. We hope you were impressed, Jaime. Meanwhile, Robb tries to talk his mother into letting him marry Talisa (darn this show for constantly changing the names of its women), breaking an oath to a powerful man whose daughter he was supposed to wed. Stannis is with Melisandre, upset that he lost the battle and also killed his brother. He chokes her, and this gets him nowhere. Melisandre is still into Stannis after this and promises him that he will be king. They stare at the fire together and see something. We don’t get to see it. No fair, show.

Theon Greyjoy, thou art the worst. He whines and cries, and we have no sympathy. He makes an unwise decision. Shocker. At least he’s braver than Joffrey, and we credit the Stark upbringing for that. Theon gets bagged by his own men and taken back to his father. Theon’s men stab Maester Luwin as they leave. Are they cousins of Joffrey’s, to be that needlessly douche-y? At King’s Landing, the Eunuch is telling Tyrion that Cersei is responsible for his injury. She sent a man to kill him in the battle. Tyrion has a big scar across his face, but it only serves to make him look more bad ass, in our opinions. He even looks bad ass when he cries. That scene with his ho finally won us over to her.

Good for Robb! He married Talisa, promises and mother be damned. We like to see a guy make an honest woman out of a girl he bones, as well as follow his heart. She’s gonna die though, isn’t she? We finally see Daenerys, but not for long. Good job losing her, Jorah. Arya is making her escape with Mr. Third Person, Jaqen H’ghar. They part and say goodbye. He gives her a coin so that she can find him later, if she needs to, and then he changes into someone else. What a weird (awesome) guy. He’s not hot anymore though, and that’s a shame. Viewers should be wondering how often Jaqen was/will be on this show and yet we don’t get to know it’s him. We see Tonks and HODOR!, who still have the Stark babies. Maester Luwin gets to see that they are alive before he dies. The Maester sends them to The Wall, to Jon. Where on Earth is Jon? Tonks offers to get the Maester high, but he has her kill him instead. Winterfell burns.

Back to Daenerys looking through the sorcerers’ lair for her dragons. This is the best and most exciting thing she’s done all season. She ends up in the snow, without a jacket. She is reunited with her dead husband, and he’s holding a baby. He’d be so hot without that nasty beard. The scene is sweet and lets us know that maybe this is what will await Daeny when and if she finally dies. It’s not real, obviously, and Daeny finds herself back in the lair, in the real world. She finds her dragons and creepy magic dudes with skinny arms. The dragons burn up the magic dudes! She kills the King and gets all the gold! It’s ship-buying time for next season. We see Jon and Ygritte, marching. Swordfight! Dead Leader of the Watch! Poor guy, poor Jon. That’s a real leader, sacrificing himself for Jon like that. Next year, Jon is going to meet the king beyond the wall. Another king. Ugh.

In the last scene, we see the other men of the wall, including Sam, still talking about Gilly. White Walkers, ya’ll. WHITE WALKERS. It’s The Walking Dead meets Game of Thrones. The Walking Thrones! Okay, Game of Dead would probably be a cooler name. Nasty zombie horses and nasty zombies abound. Clearly, the best thing for this show is zombies. Perfect season ending. This season was better than the first one, no? We know the show is mostly bound by the books, but it milks them for all they are worth. We love how magic is slowly creeping into this story. We also got the perfect name for our future boat: The Sea Bitch. Now that this show has ended, we’ll see if Ern can actually get some studying done and Leeard can stop googling pictures like this one. Leeard thinks that's a funny joke, because there's no way she'll stop looking for pictures of those two. Update: This was true. In the last week, Leeard has sent Ern about five more pics like that. Every day.

Blackwater: A+

Valar Morghulis: A

Season two grade: A-

Pretty Little Liars - Blood is the New Black

Spoilers contained for the last PLL episode.

Ella teaches the girls in school. Emily finds a teeth necklace.

Leeard: Dude! Hedda Gabler! Oh, junior year of high school.

Ern: I don’t think I ever read that. What is it?

Leeard: An Ibsen play.

Ern: I read some Ibsen in high school and didn’t like it.

Leeard: I did. We read a few of his plays.

Ern: That teeth bracelet is creepy. AND AWESOME.

Leeard: I think it’s a necklace, but yeah.

The girls go to the bathroom and accidentally flush the teeth necklace.

Leeard: Ha. Okay, so feel free to make fun of me, but when Aria said, “These things have sensors,” I totally thought she was saying that the toilets had alarms on them, not that it was an automatic flusher.

Ern: So did I!

Leeard: Hahahaha.

Jenna is back. Hanna lies to Caleb again. Aria tells Emily that Ezra will tutor her. Meredith is applying for a job at the local high school.

Leeard: Oh, Jenna, you’re a horrible fake blind girl.

Ern: Stop lying to Caleb, Hanna! He’s perfect. Clue him in.

Leeard: Yes, because clueing people in is a good idea on this show. /sarcasm.

Ern: Last time they clued Caleb in, it was fine. It’s a Caleb exception. Great idea, Aria. Throw another high school girl at Ezra, and one who is arguably prettier than you at that.

Leeard: But a lesbian.

Ern: Ha! I forgot for a moment. *feels like an artard*

Ezra and Aria meet in their car and force us to watch them kiss. Spencer meets Garrett again at the prison. He reveals that Jenna has a secret. We, as viewers, already know what it is.

Leeard: I’m sorry, Aria, what the hell are you wearing? It was like a jumper with layers.

Ern: I actually liked it this time, especially the bottom. And it was a dress. At least she didn’t over-accessorize.

Leeard: That we could see.

Ern: It's cool that the Liars are going to know Jenna isn't blind soon, since the audience knows.

Leeard: Mmmhmmm.

Hanna is visiting Mona again and she brings up Noel Khan. Then Hanna yells at her and Wren throws Hanna out. Ezra and Emily meet. Ezra tells Emily he’s sorry about Maya. Back to Wren and Hanna. Wren acts like a therapist. We don’t care for his outfit and haircut, but we still love him.

Leeard: Heyyyyyyyyy there Mona. Hanna, preach it, girl. Those are some insane earrings, Hanners. Seriously. I usually love everything you wear. Not today.

Ern: Agree. Way to bring up Maya, Ezra. He's so awkward. Who cares if you are sorry?

Leeard: But he's trying to show her he cares. Wren and Hanna. I ship it.

Ern: I want Wren with Spencer, but at this point, I will take him with anyone, even if it does break up my favorite couple. (Caleb/Hanna)

Toby and Spencer talk about Jenna and then make out. Veronica interrupts them, worried about Melissa.

Leeard: Toby, be my boyfriend. Toby, Spencer, have the sexxxxxxxxxxxx.

Ern: I think Spencer is prettier this season. I think she put on about six pounds and it made her face softer.

Leeard: She does look a little less harsh.

Ern: Man, Toby and Spencer are about two episodes from having sex.

Leeard: Thank God! Calm the f*ck down, Mrs. Hastings.

The next day, the girls are at school. Aria finds an earring that Ali found in Aria’s dad’s couch years ago. It’s one of Meredith’s. Aria flashes back to the time she and Ali trashed her dad’s office. Aria tells the girls that the earring is from Ali’s grave.

Leeard: Much better clothing, Hanna. Dammit, Ali is the best.

Ern: Aria's pink hair is the best. I love Goth Aria.

Leeard: This office trashing is awesome.

Ern: Aria! I can't believe she did that! I think I like her now. I love that the earrings are grave earrings. I hope the teeth are really Ali’s.

Emily and Ezra are studying together again. Jenna asks Aria to perform/play music with her and Aria turns her down. Caleb is starting to sniff the lies on Hanna. Veronica finds out that Spencer is visiting the county jail and confronts her, harshly, telling her to stop seeing Garrett. Hanna tells Caleb what’s up. Aria gets a text from A, threatening her about her father.

Leeard: Jenna is so freaking pretty.

Ern: I actually don’t think so. There’s something off about her face. Her forehead is, like, half bulbous.

Leeard: I disagree.

Ern: Once again, Hanna needs to tell Caleb about the Mona visits.

Leeard: Oh, Mrs. Hastings, I miss you being awesome. Like, I understand what she is saying. But still.

Ern: Yeah, that's not the way to talk to Spencer. She needs to reason with her and comfort her and ask her why she's really going there. You don't just shut down smart kids. Good job, Hanna. But I wish Caleb were reacting better. AWWW, he doesn't want Hanna hurt. He's so perfect.

Leeard: He really is.

Ern: I love the way Hanna said, "I'm not gonna have this fight." I loved the line delivery. He's going with Hanna?!! To that creepy place? So. Freaking. Perfect.

Aria tells her dad that she trashed the office. At school, Emily takes a test.

Leeard: I’m not going to like this scene (watching Aria talk to her dad). You SHOULD have called the police, Byron. I will not ever side with Byron on this. Not. Ever. Honestly, if I were Aria in this scene, I’d be a lot farther away from crying and I sure as HELL wouldn’t apologize to Meredith.

Ern: Me neither. He is, and always will be, the worst. Except when he’s fighting the Ezra situation. And helllll no. I would never apologize to Meredith.

Leeard: It’s not even that he’s the worst. It’s that cheating is the worst. If Aria murdered Meredith's cat or something, then she should apologize. And even then maybe not.

Caleb and Hanna visit Mona. Toby gives Spencer Jenna’s eyedrops, and Spencer realizes that Jenna might be able to see. Emily has a flashback to her time in the car right before she was found at Ali’s grave. Jenna was driving the car. Aria apologizes to Meredith, finds out that Meredith is seeing her father again, and returns the earring. Meredith says it isn’t hers.

Leeard: NO. DO NOT F*CKING APOLOGIZE TO HER.

Ern: What the heck?

Leeard: UNLESS YOU SAY, “I’M SORRY YOU’RE SUCH A B*TCH AND DESERVED EVERYTHING” in which case I would fully support the apology. Do. NOT. Apologize. To. Her. Dammit, Aria. Slap Meredith or something/go crazy again.

Ern: I’m liking Aria a lot better this season. Maybe it's that her fashions are better.

Leeard: I would like her a lot more if she hadn't apologized to Meredith

Ern: I guess it's what she had to do to get along with and placate her dad.

Leeard: I don't care.

Spencer is at the jail to visit Garrett again and sees her mom, Garrett’s new attorney. Wren meets Caleb at the insane asylum while Hanna is in the room with Mona.

Leeard: S*** Wren, shut up.

Ern: Seriously. Poor Caleb will be insecure now.

Ella sees that Emily only filled up half her test earlier that day and fills out the rest for her. Hanna did Mona’s makeup so that she looks a little less crazy. Mona says, “You’re getting them again, aren’t you? The texts.” The conversation is interrupted. Hanna goes and accidentally leaves Mona a pair of tweezers.

Leeard: Ella is the best.

Ern: Hanna needs to stop this. Visiting Mona is getting nowhere.

Leeard: Awww Hanna! Hanna is also the best. Oh, Mona. Ooooooohhhh Mona. Bitch crazy.

Ern: Finally, we get something good out of Mona. Uh oh, tweezers. Think Mona will pluck out all of her eyebrows? That would be great.

Ezra visits Ella and asks about Emily’s test. The girls spy on Jenna in the bathroom and find out she can see when Jenna picks up and inspects the earring Spencer left for her. Bitch can see. Spencer has a plan to use this information. In the last scene, A buys black hoodies and gloves.

Leeard: Ella is the beeeeeeeeeeest! Spencer is wearing a horrible dress, but she is the smartest person. Also, a literal crazy person.

Pretty Little Liars episodes are pretty consistent. If you like one, you’ll like most of them. We should just give them all an A, until quality declines or goes up to an A+. But we have to give grades, because that’s the rule, and this episode dragged out the blind Jenna stuff when they should have found out in the first five minutes.

Episode grade: B+. Extra points for the teeth necklace.

Men in Black 3, Prometheus, Taxi Driver, Haywire, and The Whistleblower

We’ve watched a few movies in the last couple of weeks, some new and some old. None of them are must-sees, but here are our thoughts anyway.

Haywire - This is a by-the-book action movie about a government operative who was betrayed by people inside her organization. The movie exists to have Gina Carano, professional MMA fighter, play the main character. It was really nice to see a believable female fighter play an action lead, for once. One of our pet peeves in entertainment is when a 90-pound woman throws a grown man around. Gina’s moves are appropriate for her size and strength. The plot is too complicated for such a derivative, basic movie. The supporting cast is good and keeps this movie from failing. Gina’s acting isn’t bad, but it’s not believable. You can see her acting. It’s not laughable, but you never forget she’s not the actual character. The best scene comes in the middle, and it’s the one where Gina fights a male character in a hotel room. There’s not enough fighting in this movie. There’s too much talking for a movie that’s only good when there is fighting going on, so the overall experience ends up being kind of “meh.” The climax isn’t as good as the aforementioned fight scene in the middle, so after that scene, the movie kind of fizzles out. 
Movie grade: C+

Whistleblower - This movie is about an American police woman who works for the U.N. in Bosnia and discovers that U.N. peacekeepers are involved in sex trafficking. Rachel Weisz stars as a protagonist with both guts and a heart. She’s a cute little pitbull who will stop at nothing and face any foe or threat to save these girls. What’s good about this movie is that it’s a true story that could spread awareness about the downsides of certain organizations and the growing human trafficking problem. It’s also a gripping story. What stinks is that the script is heavy-handed and clumsy. There is a rape scene that’s disturbing. What’s with our ratings system that gives rape an R or PG-13 rating and a woman orgasming an NC-17? We’d recommend this movie if the subject interests you, or if you like thrillers based on true stories. Otherwise, you can skip it. 
Movie grade: B-

Men in Black III - Neither of us wanted to see this movie and one of us got dragged to it. That blogger was pleasantly surprised. It was hilarious and well-acted. Josh Brolin played a younger version of Tommy Lee Jones, and he was perfectly cast. You don’t have to see the first two movies to enjoy this one on its own, and it’s much better than the second movie (which everyone should just skip). There was even a sweet moment at the end that left moviegoers misty eyed. The 3-D is not necessary, but if you love Andy Warhol, you might be offended. We died laughing when we found out that the bad guy was played by Flight of the Concords’ Jermaine Clement. You also get to see the main Pussycat Doll die in the first scene. That alone might convince the other blogger to see the movie. Emma Thompson rounds out the fun cast. This blogger thinks it will leave you smiling. The other blogger doesn’t think it’s possible that this movie is any good. Movies that exceed expectations are always the best. 
Movie grade: B+ 

Which brings us to two movies that didn’t meet our expectations….

Taxi Driver - It’s taken us a while to get around to seeing this classic, despite the fact that Robert DeNiro was pretty hot when he was younger. His character was unnerving and we felt extremely uncomfortable watching him court his main love interest. This movie is about a mentally ill Vietnam vet, Travis Bickle, who drives a cab around New York City before Guiliani got a hold of it. Travis is appalled at the dirt, misery, and crime in the city, and late in the movie befriends a child prostitute played by a young Jodie Foster. The performances and script are great, but there is too much walking around, driving, and other time wasting in this movie, all set to some weird jazz music. It could have been about 20 minutes shorter for entertainment purposes. There’s no denying it’s a technically good movie though and we actually liked the way it ended. It was just so long and dour. 
Movie grade: B-

Prometheus - We’ve been looking forward to this movie forever and we ended up with a mixed bag. On the one hand, it is just so wonderfully weird. On the other, it doesn’t live up to its nerd potential. The movie set up a bunch of deep themes, good questions, and possibly colorful characters in its first half. The first half was thoughtful, if a little slow, and seemed like it was setting up something mind-blowing and slightly deep. However, the second half was a slasher movie (like the first Alien) that dropped all the themes the first half raised. It was like the movie dropped most of what it picked up and most of the characters and plotlines went nowhere. A huge problem is that we didn’t care about most of the characters. Two great things about this movie are the epic visuals and the action scenes. We would recommend this movie in 3-D, if that’s something you can stand/afford. Everything looks great and the carnage is gripping. We liked the inclusion of both atheist and religious characters. We also liked the opening scene. The best thing about this movie is the android David. David provides both creepiness and comic relief. If he’s not in any sequel they make, we won’t bother to see it. Prometheus doesn’t do anything original and with the talent behind it, it should have. The movie won’t stay with you days later. It’s one of the movie events of the summer, so movie buffs should see it, even if it turned out to be disappointing. If you don’t like sci-fi, don’t see it. We brought a non-nerd and he was miserable. This is a movie you are either going to think is "just okay" or you are going to hate it.
Movie grade: B

Breaking Pointe (eps 1 and 2)

We’re not super into covering reality TV on this blog (though Leeard will be discussing Big Brother when it finally comes back), but this show sounded interesting, so we thought we’d check it out. We love dance and a ballet company seems like it has potential for good drama. Plus guys with hot bods. We’re looking at you, Ronnie. In fact, if you want to get a poster made, we’ll buy it. Unfortunately, the company doesn’t have that much drama so far, the dancers aren’t that interesting, and this seems more like a quiet documentary than a juicy behind-the-scenes reality show.

One interesting thing was Alison tormenting fellow dancer, Rex, who is in love with her. Alison says she’s not in the right place for a relationship now, but let’s get real: that just means that she doesn’t want to be with Rex, for whatever reason. Rex is confessing his love and being pathetic in the club and Alison is just looking away from him, hoping to run away. We think he can do better and that she should end the friendship. She’s known for being direct and she should be direct and honest here.

We like the brothers from the big dancing family (Ronald and Rex). We like the motorcycling dancer, Ronnie, and not just for his body. It’s neat how close he is to his sister. He does seem like an unlikely ballet guy, and we felt bad for him when he didn’t get a principal spot. Ronnie, if you need non-ballerinas to hang out with, we will come buy you a beer. He definitely has a douche-y arrogant side though.  It’s cool how there is so much ranking in ballet. It’s like the military. Ballet is a real labor of love. It hurts your body and especially your feet. The prima ballerina, Christiana, keeps talking about perfection, not just as a dancer, but as a human being. Girl, good luck with that. Perfection just isn’t possible. But we don’t dance ballet, so what do we know?

There is jealousy and cutthroat competition, so this show should be more intense than it is. The pilot even started with contract renewals. If the drama isn’t running high then, when will it be? We like a mature show and don’t necessarily need Flavor of Love catfights…but we need something. We need to like more of the dancers and that would take time. Ern is afraid it will be like The Hills (meaning that nothing will ever happen and girls will just sit around and talk about each other). We want bigger personalities. The girl we liked the best was dropped from the company in the first episode. Beckanne seems like she will be polarizing. She’s good and she knows it, but she might not be the best, so the others are angry at her new opportunities.

Adam, the guy in charge of casting, seems like kind of a creeper. The show will be a favorite for people interested in ballet. Girls hoping to have a dancing career probably should watch it. It’s not trashy. We almost dropped this show because it’s not an A show and we don’t have a lot of time, but we want to watch it a little more. We saw our fingers almost involuntarily hit the “next” button on Hulu to continue onto the second episode, so we want to watch this show, even though we probably shouldn’t pick it up. It’s not a must-watch. We will fight to NOT watch it in the future. But the show might win. That says something in its favor.

Episodes 1 and 2 grade: B