Oh man. Oh man. This episode was perfect in every way. Ok,
not every way. We are disappointed in who Gossip Girl was. But the build-up to
the wedding was all worth it.
The episode started with a Serena dream. Hers are a lot
more musical than Blair’s, it seems. She is Marilyn Monroe to Blair’s Audrey
Hepburn, and she is singing “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend” in Marilyn’s
voice, surrounded by boys. This was weird, stupid, and campy, but we completely
loved it. Audrey Blair shows up to take Dan away from Marilyn and Serena wakes
up. It’s the morning of Blair’s wedding.
We then see Chuck. If you were worried last week that he
was going to become a villain again, you will be pleased to see that Chuck
double-crossed the priest and decided to sabotage the priest’s plan to ruin
Blair’s wedding. Chuck wants Blair to be happy. One, two, three: Awwww. That
was always Chuck’s plan. Chuck poisoned the priest with Mexican toilet water
from a Bass resort. Ha. Did he have that over-nighted or something? We mourn
the lost opportunity to see Chuck don the priest’s outfit the father tried to
give him.
Dan is Louis’ best man. What??!! That’s weird. Blair
asked her stepdad to walk her down the aisle with her father, which was sweet.
And, yes, Wallace Shawn had to utter the lines, “Look! It’s The Princess Bride.”
Oh, har har har. Alright, we really did think it was clever. If inconceivable. We liked Blair's dress and veil, but we're not sure about her scraggly wedding hair or the bridesmaids dresses she chose. They looked like sponges, but they were nearly appealing.
Georgina shows up with her husband to ruin the wedding so
that she can get back at Blair. “That bitch got me remanded to rehab, banished
from Bible camp, and abandoned in Belarus,” Georgina groused. Georgina had baby
Milo with her, and he’s still an immobile cherub in a stroller. We’re pretty
sure he should be walking by now. He was born years ago.
Nate meets the real Charlie who is a cater waitress for
the wedding and there are sparks. What a coincidence! Apparently, she has
catered for him before and he didn’t remember her. As a grand romantic gesture,
Nate investigated her and found out everything about her, like that she was a
student at Julliard. Top-notch journalist that he is, Nate did NOT find out
that Lola was Charlie Rhodes. Bravo, Nate. You’re useless.
Blair has a panic attack when she puts her wedding dress
on, so Eleanor uses her motherly intuition and realizes that this is a mistake.
Eleanor runs right to Chuck. Chuck goes to Blair and Blair tells Chuck that she
loves him and is actually marrying Louis for Chuck’s sake. Blair turns Chuck
away, choosing Louis. Georgina is taping them and gets Blair’s confession saved
to her phone.
Serena tells Chuck about Blair’s pact with God (groan). During
the ceremony, when the “speak now or forever hold your piece” line is said, Chuck
does not object and we were shocked by this. Come on, Chuck! Blair said she loves
you and that she loves you more every day! That’s actually what old married
couples say about each other when it’s a real, lasting thing. Everyone was
looking at Chuck, waiting for him to do something, but he just kind of swayed
in the hallway. This is why he deserves to lose Blair…for now.
Gossip Girl interferes. She texts everyone the video of
Blair and Chuck. Jeez, people, turn your phones off in a wedding. Blair runs
offstage. Blair tells Louis that she chose him, and that if he takes her back,
Blair will never embarrass him again. She does this right in front of Chuck,
who came back to apologies for coming to her wedding. Louis goes back to the
altar with Blair and the two marry. During their dance at the reception, Louis
says tells Blair that he married her for show. He doesn’t forgive her for
loving Chuck and ruining their wedding.
Then Louis said that Blair needs to smile for the cameras
and pretend to love him, because he will keep their marriage going for show
until he tires of her, or something. Blair was all, “What about your beautiful
vows?” Louis said, “Dan wrote them.” Why didn’t we get to hear those vows, by
the way? We were cheated.
Meanwhile, Serena confesses her love to Dan. Dan has no
reaction. Poor Serena. She really is a nice and pretty girl. She needs to
realize that Dan hasn’t wanted her since he was, like, 16. He’s ready for
someone smart who likes to see artsy films and read literature. Blair calls Dan
after her horrific dance. Dan drives Blair away. Blair SHOULD have called an
attorney to seek an annulment, immediately.
We’ve always complained about this show dragging out
Chuck and Blair and ruining their romance, especially in the last two seasons.
But this season has redeemed that, especially after the last episode. As
perfect as it would have been for their romance to be complete at the end of
season two, they were not good enough people to make real love last yet. They
were not yet unselfish. Now, Chuck has done major work on himself and Blair
sees Dan’s worth while also seeing that being a princess isn’t everything.
Also, Dan is a real and realistic way to keep Blair and Chuck apart. The
Blair/Dan romance isn’t a distraction or contrived obstacle. It feels real. It
feels like the show is making Blair and Chuck a bigger, longer story than we
previously thought it would be, but that it’s going to make sense in the end.
The episode ended with Gossip Girl typing and talking. We
saw hands, and then the camera turned around to show Gossip Girl’s face. It’s
Georgina! Gasp! Actually, lame. Dorota would have been better. (Speaking of,
Dorota looked nice dress for the wedding). We already KNEW that Georgina was a
double-crossing, sociopathic schemer. We hope that there is more than one
Gossip Girl or something. Maybe she hacked GG’s site briefly or something.
This episode tried so hard. It deserves a perfect score for such effort, and it was entertaining and eventful as well.
Episode grade: A+
I LOVED this episode. Didn't like who Gossip Girl was either, though. I feel like it's one of those mysteries that we actually DIDN'T need to know. This show appears to be wanting to take cues from Pretty Little Liars and reveal the identity of the faceless character, but I think in this case it reallllly wasn't necessary.
ReplyDeleteI didn't like that Blair went through with the nuptials but then, I also did. It was different from what everyone expected to happen, and it sets up some really interesting plots. Poor Blair. I am actually liking Dan and Blair right now...I still want Chuck and Blair for end game but I want to see some Dan and Blair screen time first.
Louis has been a really uneven character. He was hardly developed at all and only existed to get in the way of Chuck and Blair, unlike Dan. He's really nice, and then he's awful. Nice, awful, nice, awful. Ughh.
Right. We haven't heard someone asking who GG was since the first season. This show wasn't about that mystery. No one cared.
DeleteThis episode was completely not the usual runaway bride, romantic comedy plotline. She went through with it, and no one expected that.
We actually think that Louis makes sense though. He's just a regular guy. He's nice when he's getting his way/wooing a pretty girl and a jerk when he's rejected or when he feels like his pride is at stake. Wait, that's sexist. Let's rephrase. Nope. Not gonna. We think that's accurate.