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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Glee - Sexy review

Sorry about the five-day hiatus, faithful readers. It's called spring break. But one of us has crawled back from vacationland and was happy to see that our numbers did not suffer, even though we have deprived you. Muchos gracias. Now, onto the Glee.

It seems like Glee had already tackled themes like celibacy, teen sex, pregnancy, and talking through your feelings. We guess they had to do it again, only more seriously this time. What we DIDN’T like was Holly Holiday asserting over-and-over in the beginning of the episode that it is “unrealistic” and “naïve” to be a virgin through high school. That’s just what sluts say to excuse their behavior. It’s like saying, “Everybody does it, so I can too.” We know plenty of people who made it past high school. In fact, we think it's the majority. Also, by that logic (people can’t control themselves), people can claim it’s impossible to be faithful to your spouse. People can control themselves. Even teens. If they want to do that, if that’s their choice, it’s possible and a good life lesson on patience. Then the episode crossed over into just downright insulting when Holly said that these people were probably “frigid”. Way to make responsible kids who know they aren’t ready yet feel damaged and bad about themselves!

Either you are nodding your head right now, or you are thinking, “Whichever blogger wrote this post is just a sad virgin.” We have no response to that. The show had a lot of good sex tips for young viewers though. A condom protects against pregnancy and HIV. And making a sex tape is child porn.

SO much happened in this episode. It didn’t completely revolve around Holly Holiday either! Other than her previously mentioned comments, we enjoyed her this episode. Gwyneth Paltrow delivered her lines perfectly, moved the plot along, and served to be the funniest character of the hour. "Just remember, when you have sex with someone, you're having sex with everyone they've had sex with. And everybody's got a random." – Holly. Can you believe Emma hasn’t slept with Carl yet? Whoa Momma, he’s hot and they are married. That makes no sense. And the reason might be that she is still in love with Will Schuester? Sorry to tell you, Emma, but we’ve been watching this show for more than a year, and we are pretty sure that guy is gay. Speaking of the gays, the best song this week was probably Blaine and Kurt’s Warbler-backed “Animal.” Kurt was waaaay too autotuned though. If the show can pay to hire Max Martin to write Glee’s original songs, it can pay to have someone competent handle the autotune when they need to use it. There is a way to make it less obvious. It just takes longer. It’s pure laziness on the part of the producers.

We loved Brittany in this episode. We prefer Santana to Artie, but no one deserves to be cheated on. Brittany thinking she was pregnant was priceless. We actually felt for Santana when she very sweetly confessed her love for Brittany in her most vulnerable moment ever. She was shot down (nicely, in a mature way), and it was a good thing, but we felt so bad for her! Artie needs to die and that needs to happen. We know it’s weird that we would rather have Artie die than get cheated on. It might be partly that we don’t want to see him whine for weeks.

We have an apology to make. We thought it was awkward for Kurt to want advice from his dad on sex and for Burt to “educate himself.” We thought a sex talk from Burt to Kurt would just be unnecessary and lame. Blaine felt differently, and adorably went to Burt to ask him to give Kurt a sex talk. Blaine was concerned that Kurt would have a bad experience due to lack of knowledge. Blaine said, "I don't have the relationship with my dad that you have with Kurt. I think it'd be really cool if you took advantage of that." Burt wasn’t into the idea at first, but he came around. And with the following speech, Kurt’s dad became our all-time favorite Dad on TV.

"For most guys, sex is just always this thing we want to do. It’s fun. It’s feels great. But we’re not thinking so much about how it makes us feel on the inside or, you know, how the other person feels about it….But it’s about more than just the physical. When you're intimate with someone in that way, you're exposing yourself. You're never gonna be more vulnerable, and that scares the hell out of a lot of guys. I can’t tell you how many buddies I’ve got who got who have gotten in way too deep with a girl who they thought was just cool with hooking up. For you, it’s worse. With two guys you've got two people who think that sex is just sex. It's gonna be easier to come by and once you start, you aren't gonna want to stop. You gotta know that it means something. It's doing something to you, to your heart, to your self-esteem, even though it feels like you're just having fun...When you're ready, I want you to be able to do everything. But when you're ready, I want you to use it as a way to connect to another person. Don't throw yourself around like you don't matter, because you matter, Kurt…That’s it, for now. Can I make you some toast?" Pair him with Lorelai Gilmore, and you would have the perfect parents. Who knew one of the most true sex lessons we’ve ever seen on TV would come out of a Burt/Kurt sex talk? If kids listen to this advice, it will save them from getting hard, cold hearts.

As for the other songs, "Kiss" was unbearable. What a butchering. Matthew Morrison’s falsetto sounds like someone is choking him. "Don’t You Want to Touch Me?" was “meh.” Glee’s "Afternoon Delight" didn’t hold a candle to Michael and Maeby Bluth’s version. "Landslide" was lovely, but that song has been remade enough already. As for more coupling news, we do not like Quinn and Finn STILL, even though their scene this week was pretty cute. And yay for Will moving on, even though we know Holly isn’t the endgame. Also, Lauren kissed Puck, even though he joined the celibacy club and didn’t make a sex tape with her. "I like wooing you. Next to dropping my afternoon deuce, it's my favorite part of the day." – Puck.

Last comment: For an episode about sex, it sure was light on freaky Tina and Mike’s abs, right? Light on the Sue too, and everyone knows she is pure sex.

Episode Grade: B (Points off for no substantial Lea Michele song, duh.)


  1. I loved your Muchas Gracias in the post hehehe
    And I really loved this episode, every secon I enjoyed it and as I told you before I'm from Mexico and at least in this country the boys and girl start their sexual life very young, at the age of fifteen on average.

    I liked the music, I loved Gwyneth Paltrow ^^ but I wanted more Sue.

    Every episode I love more Santana and yes I do agree completely with you, Artie should die just the way his character died in True Blood hahaha.

    As a gay person in an homophobic town I really loved the scene of Kurt and his dad, the moment was just perfect.

    And that's all for the moment (:
    Buenas noches tengan excelente día, Saludos desde Veracruz, México (:

  2. Yeah, the link we found on teens having sex said that even Hispanic Americans start early. That's interesting. Over here, we are legally adults at 18. That might make parents encourage their high school kids to wait until that age. Also, if the age gap is a certain way, the boy can be guilty of statutory rape and go to prison, and no one wants that. We think the major influences pushing the age back for us are parents, the law, and the emphasis on school/success. We won't say religion, because a lot of people are Catholic in Mexico.

    You can totally write comments in Spanish if you want. Weirdly, this blogger cannot speak, write, or hear Spanish, but this blogger can read it almost perfectly. How weird is that?? The other blogger can do all four. Darn her.

    People have been trying to google the Kurt's dad speech, so that's why we've included it. We hope your parents are at least half as supportive of you as Kurt's dad is!

  3. Kurt's dad speech beats The King's speech hahaha...

    And well my parents they don't know yet that I'm gay cause I don't want to being kicked-out of the house and I'm just 17, haven't finished yet my high school so definetely I won't take that risk, I know it might sound like if I am ashamed of being what I am but not really because like Holy Holliday sadi: "It's not who yor are atractted to, is who you fall in love with" nd well I'm in love :$ hehe

    Muchas gracias les escribiré en español cuando no pueda expresarme bien en ingles (no hay nada como la lengua materna) aunque también me gusta practicar mi inglés. (: Gracias

  4. LOVE your first name, if that is your real name. Gorgeous name. And yeah, any language you want. Half-and-half like you've been doing the last two times is good, then we all get practice! haha.

    I wouldn't be ashamed of staying in the closet AT ALL while living at home. I know lots of people will disagree, but I think that's just smart. I'm not gay, but there were some secrets and things in my life that my family needed to know eventually. I waited until I was out of the house to speak up. I think that even if you didn't get thrown from your house, you don't want to live in that tension. To live in a house where emotions are running high like that would be incredibly stressful. You won't have long to wait until you can be honest AND safe.

  5. Thanks a lot :$ and yeah tt is my real name, well my middle name because my full name is Pablo Israel Fernández Salas but as you can see is a little too long haha andbesides, I like more Israel so a use it for social networks and accounts that I make.

    Y muchas gracias y si tu forma de pensar es muy cierta, será mejor decirlo cuando yo ya tenga una independencia económica. Gracias y aquí seguiré leyendo sus fantásticos post ya que no por alardear pero soy uno de esos fieles lectores que mencionan. (:

  6. Haha, thanks. We love faithful readers. Faithful readers who sometimes comment? Even better.

  7. I enjoyed Holly Holiday in this episode. She was PART of the episode, not THE episode. Approve.

    I'm not liking the tendency toward the extremes on the show in the last two episodes. Drinking like fiends or totally dry. Calling teen virgins "frigid" vs the crazy Emma perky-ness of the awful version of Afternoon Delight.

    As someone who works with teens, I whole heartedly believe in moderation, common sense, and a big heaping of honesty. There is no shame in waiting, and frankly, a little patience and holding out should be exercised in more cases than not.

    Burt is the best TV dad ever. Forever.

    Poor Santana. She's definitely the best character on the show. I have mixed feelings about her as a lesbian. She was always clear about just being very sexual, so is it necessary to go farther? But apparently it was, and I thought they did it well. I just hope she doesn't get all angsty and mopey now. She better still kick some serious ass.

    Animal was the best, Do You Want to Touch Me was fun, Kiss was absolutely horrible.

    Side note: I bought the iTunes version of Vol 5. I'm enjoying the songs they wrote for themselves... I'm ready for that episode.

  8. We like "Loser Like Me." "Get it right" is a little maudlin and lame for us, but we're sure it will grow on us in the context of the episode.

    We like Santana getting another layer to her character, but you're right, she'd better still be Santana and bring the bluntness next week.

  9. Great post! CurvyGirl^ makes a good point that this show really does have a strange and unsettling tendency toward extremes sometimes (although Drunk Rachel IS one of the funniest things ever). Personally I find it offensive when people who think they know about teens assume that teens (and people, in general) aren't able to control themselves sexually because they're hormonal. Even teens can be held responsible for their choices and actions. Way to lower the common denominator, Glee.

    I was really caught off guard by Santana's vulnerability this week, but I loved how Naya Rivera and Heather Morris played their scenes together in this episode. I found it surprising how moved I was by the end of it. That said, I welcome the return of b*tchy, guarded Santana next week!

    I almost fast-forwarded through Kiss. That was PAINFUL. Seriously, Emma? That guy over John Stamos? NFW!

    Hope you guys had an awesome spring break! Glad to have you back, though ;)

  10. Agree with everything you said, especially the drunk rachel bit