Re-watching LOST: season six

The final season. Sob. Lots of people hated this season and plenty were satisfied. We were among the satisfied, and we're not going to say why again. Just read this post. The post you are reading now is to grade each episode and talk about the arc of season six. This show was uneven from the start, but what made it one of our favorite shows ever was that it was always challenging and completely unique. There will never be anything remotely like this show ever again, unless it's a remake.

Re-watching LOST: Season five

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Lots of people think this is the best season of LOST. These people are mostly nerds, since this season was all about the time travel. We thought the first half was bogged down by the Oceanic Six trying to get back to the island. It took a while, and it even took a while to convince some of them to go. Desmond helped them, and looked great in a scarf while doing so. Ern's brother dressed up like Desmond and went to school the day after Jughead aired. Only a teacher got it. Ern's brother is awesome.

In this season, we find out how Locke died and that he was really and truly dead. We thought, at the end of season four when we saw his body in the coffin, that he couldn't be dead. There was just no way. But the show surprised us with the ultimate, depressing twists that not only was Locke dead, but he was a confused little man who was never called or special. He told Richard Alpert that he was special, so Alpert set everything up for him. No one called Locke but Locke.

Our favorite episode of this season was The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham. Locke's death scene might be our favorite scene of the entire season. It was so unexpected. Ben seemed to change his mind about wanting Locke to live in the span of two seconds. It was chilling and well-acted. The perfect end to the sad life of Locke. Since we all expected a resurrection though (not a possession), we never got a proper chance to say goodbye or mourn Locke. Lots of people hated him, but Ern always counted him among her top five favorite characters (along with Ben, Hurley, Juliet, and Desmond).

This season had nice fillers (like The Lie) sandwiched between knock-your-socks-off hours. Wait, was The Lie the episode where Hurley threw the hot pocket? Wait, then we take that back. That episode was the tits. Oh, hey, Jin was alive the whole time. While all our friends rejoiced, we rolled our eyes. Does anyone die and stay dead on this show? (Turns out, yes, but that's what we were thinking at the time). Who survives an exploding freighter in the middle of the ocean when they were on the freighter? Ideally, no one. At least Michael didn't come back.

This season introduced one of our favorite couples, Sawyer and Ms. Juliet Burke, who were way less dull than Kate and Sawyer. We were a little bored by main characters joining Dharma and Sayid shooting Ben. All of that spanned way too many episodes, and we felt like our time was wasted when we me the Dharma torturer and then never saw him again. Why make such a big deal out of him and then have almost nothing happen? Whatever Happened, Happened was the best Kate episode of the series.

We said goodbye to Daniel Faraday, and while it was sad that his mother killed him, were weren't that sad to lose him. One of our friends was pretty obsessed with him though, because she thought he was cute. We were like, "Um, do you not see nearly every other guy on this show? Daniel is not the island hottie. He's a hobbit to replace Charlie, that dead hobbit." To each her own root, we guess.

We loved seeing a young, pregnant Rousseau. She was so cute. We're weren't THAT sad when Charlotte died, but it was appropriately creepy when she whispered, "This place is death." Loved that. All the tediousness was followed by the emotional episode Dead Is Dead, where Ben was judged by the island for letting his daughter die. Really, it was the smoke monster making sure Ben was on his team.

The flashbacks of Ben acquiring and caring for Alex really worked for us. That was a father/child relationship worth spending more time on. The one that didn't work for anyone was Miles and his father. If that episode didn't feature a hilarious Hurley and an attempt to write The Empire Strikes Back, we would have given it an F. By then, everyone knew that the Miles character was going nowhere interesting.

The show was going over familiar ground and bringing up new pasts when it should have been wrapping up and moving forward. In short, Miles's daddy issues were unwelcome. No one cared. We already saw Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Claire, Hurley, Sun, Locke, Ben, Daniel, Alex, Penny, and to some extent Jin struggle with their fathers. The natural next step was for one of them to have issues with the Ultimate Father, some form of God...oh wait, Ben did kill Jacob at the end of this season, right? :-)

You know what else was crazy? Jack this season. Him wanting to blow up the island and change the past was insane. Didn't he learn anything from his time on the island? Weren't there good times? How was this going to help his relationship with Kate? He just lost it. We loved the last episode when Jacob visited key characters at important moments in their pasts. That episode was all about Jacob. We were sad when he died. We barely knew him. The heartbreaking cliffhanger ending with Juliet falling down that hole and Sawyer screaming was breathtaking. That was a good finale.

Because You Left: B+, The Lie: C, Jughead: A-, The Little Prince: C+, This Place Is Death: B+, 316: B, The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham: A+, LaFleur: A, Namaste: B+, He's Our You: B-, Whatever Happened Happened: A, Dead Is Dead: A, Some Like It Hoth: C-, The Variable: A, Follow the Leader: B, The Incident: A+

Re-watching LOST: Season four

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Spoilers abound. This season wasn't the best (and it was way too short), but it contains the best episode (The Constant), and the show was reinvigorated by the flashforwards. If you've read anything we've written about the first season of Revenge, you will know that we normally hate flashforwards and consider them to be a lazy gimmick to drum up tension without earning it. Not so on LOST. On LOST, everything happening in the flashforwards was a story in itself, not something that would have to be repeated by the show once time caught up. They were clever. We would have taken anything from this show at this point, though. The season came at the high point of our LOST obsession, so we remembered it as being better than it actually was, on re-watch.

The best thing about this season was that it came just after the writers got their end date. They started charting a nerdy course to the end. We believe strongly in end dates for shows. In our perfect world, shows would get six season and then be forced to end. They can end earlier if they are lame and no one likes them, but after season six, shows should be done. That way, shows don't meander, fail to show us the Mother, have seasons that don't go anywhere, and have characters who can never grow.

This season didn't abandon flashbacks, showing that LOST still had them in its back pocket when they were needed. Now the show could skip back and forth in time as much as it wanted (which would prove useful for season five). The first flashback episode of the season was the second one, Confirmed Dead, which showed us the pasts of all the new characters from Not Penny's Boat. That episode got us excited to get to know them better. Season four also spent a lot of time developing the science-y, time-travel-y element to the show. It took a lot of risks, but they worked. It also had some creepy moments, as well as the one time the smoke monster really worked for us.

We got new characters. Some of them worked and some of them didn't. We loved the C.S. Lewis reference with Charlotte, but that character never realized her full potential. We felt like the writers had ideas of where to take her and then dropped them, turning it into a love story instead. A love story that didn't work. Cool-looking actress though. Then we had Miles, another lame character. He took the show to a repetitive place, and tended to annoy rather than bring sympathy or even laughs.

We preferred Frank Lapidus, the pilot, and Daniel, of course. Daniel just had a lot to DO on the show, even aside from all the crying we had to endure from him. He knew the island's secrets and ended up being a more important character than he was a character we liked. He had a strong role to play. Frank had a few cheesy lines and stupid Hawaiian shirts, but we liked his attitude. He was happy all the time and seemed to roll with the punches easily.

One of the great things about this season was that not everyone on the boat was evil (like we expected; why did we expect that? Apparently, we'd never seen LOST before?!!)  The captain wasn't even evil! The ship baddie was Keamy, a man who scared Leeard a LOT. Keamy brought significant deaths: Carl, Rousseau, and Alex. That was one of the times viewers felt the most strongly for Ben. He wouldn't give his life for his daughter, but he believed he could still get them both out alive. Mid-horrible tactic, she was shot. Then the smoke monster's best moment happened. It must have been the darkness, the wrath, or the emotional resonance, but when the smoke monster took on Keamy and his men, it wasn't silly anymore. Maybe they spend more money on the special effects. Anyway, it worked. The smoke monster was finally scary.

We were disappointed in the Oceanic Six. The six people they chose to get off the island were the most predictable characters to make it. It made us worry about favorites though. We found out (in the Michael episode) that the island can keep people alive even when they are off the island. That was like something out of a Stephen King book. We loved it. We also needed to spend that time with the Michael character after he'd been away for so long and was about to become (briefly) important again. We needed Michael to have screentime to get closure on his arc. We're so glad they killed him. We also liked seeing young Locke grow up and have that gripping interview with Richard. Locke, you should have gone to science camp. Science is cool! This season also featured a flashback to the '50s. Nice. His mom was always cray.

Let's talk great episodes. First, The Economist. Sayid's tragic flashforward hour where he romanced a woman to get to her boss and then was revealed to be (GASP) a hit man for Ben could not have been creepier. In the best way. That woman had the best taste in evening gowns too. Also, Ben and Sayid were hanging out in Ern's favorite city, Berlin. Bad ass. Sayid is the greatest Muslim TV character of all time. No stereotypes there. Abed from Community is a close second. Really, anyone either a) not on 24 or b) who doesn't blow something up is a great Muslim TV character. It's pretty rare, unfortunately.

Another great episode was The Shape of Things to Come, and not just because that's an amazing episode title. Everything about that hour had us holding our breath. Alex dies, and in the last scene, Ben confronts Widmore and threatens Penny's life. After watching The Constant, we were like, "No no NOOOO." In one episode, we felt so horrible for Ben and then went right back to hating him. It was all-in-all a gut-wrenching, brilliant episode.

We already mentioned that we think The Constant is the best episode of this show. It mixed sci-fi with a lot of heart, plus the possibility of key characters losing their minds. It was so different and risky, but then it pulled off the best romantic moment on this show with lines that should have been cloying. Instead, it made Ern cry. Not just once, but every time she's watched it (which is, like, six times). LOST didn't always work in the romance department, but it did here.

Sidenote: We don't think Charlie and Claire were a good couple most of the time. One time, this guy trying to date Ern said that this was his favorite couple on the island, and Ern was thinking, "Oh man, I can't date this dude. He'll bring me fake peanut butter and try to baptize my dog (or something). His taste in romance is, at the very least, suspect." Ern let it go though, mostly because single dudes who even watch good TV don't grow on trees.

Disappointing episodes? Eggtown. This was the one where Kate went on trial for murder and walked away from probation. First of all, that's unlikely. Second of all, we didn't need a whole episode for this. Someone could have just discussed Kate in a conversation. "Oh yeah, she got probation so she could raise her son and because Jack lied for her. He's still in love, you know?" "Oh, okay, cool." Done. We didn't see anything new here. On the island, Sawyer and Kate can't make it work, which is fine because they weren't meant to be together anyway. (Sawyer and Juliet!!)

The sole good moment was the icky scene at the end where we found out Kate was raising Aaron. It raised two questions: 1) What happens to Claire? 2) Is Kate "another," so will her raising Aaron be bad for him and everyone else? Of course, we never got a satisfying answer to the second question, unless "another" only meant "an other" (like, don't let The Others get him). We weren't satisfied with Aaron's arc. He was kind of like Walt. He seemed important, but then he wasn't.

The Other Woman was another dud. It focused on flashbacks from Juliet's affair and her inability to get along with his wife, Harper. The present-day action was wasteful, with Juliet trying to stop Daniel and Charlotte from bringing disaster on the island!!! Oh, but wait, there was no disaster. Everything's fine. Snore. Sure, we found out that Charles Widmore was in charge of Not Penny's Boat, but that wasn't exactly a mindf***. We liked when Ben went all insane like a baby and said, "YOU'RE MINE" to Juliet, but then that was ruined with Jack kissing Juliet in the present. He was defying Ben's possessive, murderous revenge...which never even came. And was never even attempted. We hate when shows set things up and don't follow through. Waste of an hour, for sure. Entertaining though.

Another one we didn't like was Ji Yeon. First off, it was manipulative in a bad way. Most LOST episodes are manipulative, but this one, with its parallel flashbacks and flashforwards, took the cake. One of us never connected with Jin and Sun as a couple, so that didn't help. We found out Jin was dead. (Only not really. Another fakeout. Ugh.) Sun had a baby. Snore snore snore. If she had died from island complications, that would have been interesting. The episode could have been clever with real emotional resonance, but it wasn't there. We just felt tricked for no reason.

Something Nice Back Home bugged us because it finally got Jack and Kate together only to have them break up for a stupid reason. It wasn't even particularly hot. They lost whatever chemistry they had in the first couple of seasons by this point. We waited this long to see them as a couple, and we got this boring episode out of it. Jack has issues. We get it.

While we liked the finale, it should have been better. It was the weakest of all six LOST finales. It was exciting, watching the island disappear was great, and we liked seeing how everyone got to where they ended up in the flashforwards. Still, moving all those pieces took up most of the episode and stole all the time the show had to make a good story to leave us with. The show knew how to redeem itself though: it gave us a Desmond death scare followed by his reunion with Penny. Yay for happy endings!

The Beginning of the End: A-
Confirmed Dead: B
The Economist: A
Eggtown: D (remember, this is compared to other episodes of LOST, not all other shows.)
The Constant: A+
The Other Woman: F
Ji Yeon: C-
Meet Kevin Johnson: B-
The Shape of Things to Come: A+
Something Nice Back Home: F
Cabin Fever: B+
There's No Place Like Home parts 1 and 2: B-

Re-watching LOST- season three

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A Tale of Two Cities

In flashbacks, Jack becomes obsessed with finding out who Sarah left him for. He decides it’s his father and attacks him at an AA meeting. Sarah bails Jack out of jail and tells him that Christian fell off the wagon. It’s all Jack’s fault. On the island, Sawyer and Kate are kept in old polar bear cages by the Others, and Jack is in a Dharma station called The Hydra. A teenager named Karl is also in a cage, and he tries to escape, using Sawyer as a diversion. They are both caught and Carl is moved. We find out that Ben is the others’ leader, the others have a modern settlement on the island (complete with houses and electricity), and we meet Juliet Burke, a blonde sent to befriend Jack.

This episode’s title is a funny way to start the season because season three is truly “the best of times and the worst of times.” It has some great, legendary LOST episodes, heavy on creepiness, mythology, and jaw droppers. It also has some of the worst episodes and a mostly terrible first part of the season. It was good to start with Jack, Kate, and Sawyer, but what the Others were doing with them wasn’t particularly interesting. It ended up being all about Jack, but couldn’t the writers have come up with a purpose for Sawyer and Kate as well? The opening scene of this episode was incredible, as was the introduction of Juliet. It took a while for us to trust her, and with good reason. She’s one of the most mysterious, complicated female characters on LOST, and we love how the actress portrayed her. The flashback was sad and went a long way toward explaining Jack’s usual behavior. Still, the episode should have had more forward-moving plot because it was a premiere.

Episode grade: B-

The Glass Ballerina

In flashbacks, Sun’s father walks in on Sun having an affair, so he orders Jin to kill the man. Jin beats him up instead (a scene we saw in the first flashback), and Jae kills himself by jumping off a building immediately after, because of the shame. On the island, Ben offers to take Jack home if he goes with Ben’s plan once Ben decides to reveal it. Kate and Sawyer have to smash rocks. Sawyer kisses Kate. Sun, Jin, and Sayid fight on the sailboat until an Other boards and Sun shoots her. The Others steal their boat.

This should have been the third episode. By now, we want to see the aftermath of the hatch imploding, not some boring tripe about how Sun lies to her husband. We know Sun lies to Jin. We were sad that she had an affair. We don’t think it was necessary to their story. All the sailboat events were boring, even Colleen’s shooting. The interesting parts were Jack, Kate, and Sawyer’s scenes, and nothing really happened there anyway. We liked the scene where Ben showed Jack footage of the Red Sox winning the world series to prove that Ben had contact with the outside world. Often, LOST would drag its feet with a dull main plot, but then save the episode with a slamming final scene. This was one of those times.

Episode grade: D+

Further Instructions

In flashbacks, Locke joins a commune, but then he ruins it. On the island, no one died from the hatch imploding, which is nice. Locke and Charlie save Eko from a polar bear, and Hurley finds out that Desmond can see the future. We liked the sweat lodge and the vision. No one is really a fan of the commune flashback, but we didn’t hate it. We thought it went a long way toward characterizing Locke further. He’s a screw up who wants to fit in and have a purpose as well. He wants a family and he wants to not mess things up for everyone, like he always does. Yeah, it’s weird, but we thought the episode’s real disappointment was that the post-hatch danger was a freaking polar bear. It redeemed Charlie a little bit though.

Episode grade: C

Every Man For Himself

In flashbacks, Sawyer cons a fellow inmate to get out of prison (and get some reward money for his daughter he just found out he had). On the island, Ben cons Sawyer into thinking that the Others planted a pacemaker in Sawyer’s heart that might kill him. Colleen (the woman Sun shot) is rushed to Jack and Juliet for surgery, but she’s too far gone and dies. Her husband beats Sawyer up. Kate admits she loves Sawyer. Ben reveals that they are being kept on a separate island, so there is no way Kate and Sawyer can escape by running away. Sorry Sawyer, you bored us. We don’t care about your daughter or your prison deeds. The heart thing we got all flustered over turned out to be a trick. Cute bunnies though, and Evangeline Lilly can sure act.

Episode grade: D

The Cost of Living

In flashbacks, Eko takes over as town priest after Yemi’s death, replacing his brother, and he kills to protect the town’s inhabitants. On the island, Eko tries to defend his actions to the smoke monster, but it just kills him. Juliet tries to get Jack to kill Ben during the spine operation Ben needs. We loved the video Juliet made and the music that accompanied it. Eko’s death was so lame. We hated his speech about how he didn’t sin. Um, yeah, he did. We’re glad the smoke monster ate him. By this time in the series, we didn’t care about him at all, so a flashback was boring and unwelcome. Then he died, making it an even bigger waste of time. We think, overall, the Eko character was pointless because the show was forced to kill his character before his time. They had to let the actor go.

Episode grade: D-

I Do

In flashbacks, Kate marries a cop and tries to live a normal life. She even calls the federal marshal and asks him to leave her alone. After realizing she doesn’t “do taco night,” she confesses everything to her husband, drugs him, and then runs away. On the island, Kate and Sawyer have sex, and Jack sees it. Jack stops Ben’s surgery to give Kate and Sawyer a chance to escape.

We know this episode doesn’t have a good reputation, partly because it was a mid-season cliffhanger that frustrated viewers at the time, but we liked it. We love Nathan Fillion from Firefly, Dr. Horrible, Blast from the Past, and Castle. He was a LOST fan dreaming of being on the show before he was on it. He seems like a really cool guy. His presence alone made this episode for us. He’s such a sci-fi staple that he had to make it on LOST at some point, just so he could be a small part of it. It might have been cool to bring him back to see Kate after she got off the island. Too bad they didn’t. We can’t decide if the sex scene was personal and hot, or disgusting because of where they were and the lack of baths.

Episode grade: B-

Not in Portland

In flashbacks, Juliet is a fertility doctor who is able to impregnate her sister, despite her sister’s cancer. Richard Alpert from the island interviews her for a job with “Mittelos Bioscience,” recruiting her to be an Other. She can’t take the job because her ex husband is a dick, so Richard arranges for him to get hit by a bus. Ethan shows up too. On the island, Alex helps Kate and Sawyer escape, as long as they take Karl with them. Juliet shoots Colleen’s husband, saving Kate and Sawyer. Jack finishes operating on Ben.

This is where the season finally started to pick up some steam. It was about time for a Juliet flashback. The stuff with her sister and her work was endearing and made us like the character where we didn’t before. Not only did this episode bring the heart, it was also SO CREEPY and introduced Richard Alpert. The brainwashing room was also eerie. We liked the “ye olde wookie prisoner” trick, as well as Jack’s surprising successful finish of Ben’s surgery. Finally, the main characters were out of their cages and the show could move forward. Great flashback, great on-island plot. This is what makes a good LOST episode. This was the best episode LOST could have returned from its hiatus with.

Episode grade: B+

Flashes Before Your Eyes

In flashbacks, Desmond remembers what happened to him after the hatch imploded. He was transported through time back to an important day with Penny. It was the day her father told Desmond that Penny was out of Desmond’s league and Desmond broke up with her. On the island, Charlie and Hurley try to get Desmond drunk so that he will tell them why he can see the future. Desmond pounces on Charlie after Charlie calls him a coward. Desmond reveals that Charlie is going to die.

Opinions differ on this episode. Some people think it’s annoying that it’s mostly flashback. We can’t believe some people hate this episode. It’s weird, it’s wild, it’s emotional, it’s exciting, it’s scary, and it gave us Eloise Hawking. Everything that happened in this episode ended up being important later. The time jumping, Charlie’s imminent doom, and the Penny relationship all cropped up. It’s one of the first really nerdy episodes of LOST, and it also redeemed the hatch implosion by showing us that there was actually a crazy consequence. We’d been waiting for that. This is a home run.

Episode grade: A+

Stranger in a Strange Land

In flashbacks, Jack sleeps with a woman in Thailand and she tattoos him. Then some dudes come beat Jack up. On the island, Juliet stands trial for killing a fellow Other, but Jack and Ben save her from the death penalty. Instead, she is marked. Jack and the Others leave to go back to the main island. This is notorious for being the worst episode of LOST. We agree that the flashback was pointless and boring, but the on-island plot wasn’t that bad. We were still entertained. The fact that we enjoyed this episode just goes to show that the worst episodes of LOST are still better than most things in life. We were actually worried for Juliet. There are some decent Kate and Sawyer scenes too. The story behind Jack’s tattoos were a letdown. No one really cared about his tattoos, but if you are going to bring that back story up, it needed to be worth hearing.

Episode grade: F

Tricia Tanaka Is Dead

In flashbacks, Hurley’s dad comes back after being absent from his life. Winning the lottery makes a guy popular… On the island, Kate and Sawyer make it back to camp broken up/fighting. Hurley finds a Dharma van in the jungle and gets it to run. Kate sets out to rescue Jack. A great opening scene (with an expensive explosion) starts off an underwhelming episode about Hurley’s daddy issues. The van stuff was fun and classic Hurley. There’s nothing wrong with a little hope and joy on this show every now and then. The on-island plot fit the show’s most uplifting themes, even if it seemed like a repetitive time-waster coming after a bad episode. We weren’t digging the flashback though. We hate Hurley’s dad and cringe every time he’s onscreen.

Episode grade: B-

Enter 77

In flashbacks, Sayid is kidnapped by the husband of one of his former torture victims. She forgives Sayid and tells her husband to let Sayid go. On the island, Locke, Sayid, Rousseau, and Kate find a Dharma communications station where they meet Mikhail, a Russian other. Locke blows up the station, pissing everyone off. They take Mikhail prisoner and march him into the jungle. At camp, Sawyer loses to Hurley in ping-pong and has to refrain from using nicknames for a week. This is possibly our favorite Sayid flashback. It’s powerful. While it doesn’t amount to much later, it’s a great standalone story. We also meet icky Mikhail, which is exciting. We like him. We also get some information about the Dharma Initiative. The ping-pong contest was adorable. There wasn’t a dull moment in this entry.

Episode grade: A

Par Avion

In flashbacks, Claire meets her father, Christian Shepherd, for the first time. She rejects him. Claire’s mother is in a vegetative state after a car accident in which Claire was driving. On the island, Claire tries to use birds to send messages off the island, and Desmond tries to keep Charlie safe. Locke tests a sonic barrier fence by pushing Mikhail into it, causing him to foam at the mouth and collapse. Sayid, Locke, and Kate cross the fence and make it to the Others’ camp where they see Jack happily playing football. Ugh. This episode. The bird thing was pointless and felt like the writers stalling for time. The flashback is only fun to watch the first time. Claire looks better blonde, but she looks nice with black hair too. The best moment was when Locke “kills” Mikhail, and the last ten seconds were pretty good too. It’s not a bad episode (again, none of them are), but it doesn’t crack the top 80.

Episode grade: D

The Man From Tallahassee

In flashbacks, Locke’s father pushes him out of a window, paralyzing him from the waist down. On the island, Locke, Sayid, and Kate are captured trying to get to Jack. Jack doesn’t need their help, because Ben has agreed to release him and Juliet on the Others’ submarine. Then Locke blows up the submarine, ruining everything. Ben shows Locke that he has Locke’s father here, on the island, locked up in a room. We finally find out how Locke was paralyzed, and the show doesn’t disappoint with that reveal. The flashback is almost painful to watch. The ending was a jaw-dropper, and we like how the show prevented Jack and Juliet from leaving just yet. Exciting, gut-wrenching, and entertaining all the way through.

Episode grade: A

Expose

In flashbacks, Nikki and Paulo’s time on the island is detailed, as well as their relationship history. Paulo wants Nikki. Nikki just wants some diamonds they stole. In the present, Charlie tells Sun he kidnapped her. Nikki and Paulo are bitten by a spider that paralyzes people for eight hours. The survivors think the couple is dead and accidentally bury them alive. Man, LOST sure knows how to kill annoying characters. No one liked these two, so the show decided to stall for time by making an excellent standalone episode about greed. We love the sick way it ended and feel like the whole episode was a lot of fun. Best stalling ever.

Episode grade: C

Left Behind

In flashbacks, Kate befriends Cassidy (Sawyer’s lover he conned/Sawyer’s baby momma) and tries to visit her mother, who doesn’t want to see her. On the island, The Others and Locke leave. Kate, Sayid, Jack, and Juliet are left behind. Hurley cons Sawyer into being nice to people. Hurley’s con was the best thing ever. (We’re exaggerating, but still, it was adorable and clever.) Kate and Juliet had good scenes together, and it was good to see that Cassidy wasn’t a huge waste of time since she cropped up again and has a connection to Kate. Not that the flashback was super good. In fact, it was kind of boring, like a lot of Kate episodes are (What Kate Does being the most boring). The on-island action saves it.

Episode grade: C+

One of Us

In flashbacks, we see Juliet’s early days on the island. She is unable to save the pregnant women on the island from mysterious death, but Ben won’t let her go home to be with her sister. On the island, Jack, Kate, Sayid, and Juliet arrive at the main camp, and no one trusts Juliet until she saves Claire from an illness. The illness that turns out to be a ruse concocted by Ben to help his mole, Juliet, win the survivors’ trust.

This is an episode where the on-island action is both misleading and not that interesting, but the flashback intrigues. The Goodwin affair was interesting, but the best part was when Juliet saw footage of her nephew. This is the episode in which we really started to trust Juliet. Yeah, we thought she was a mole by the end of the episode, but we knew her motives. She just wants to go home. As long as what she’s doing gets her closer to home, we can trust her to do it. She’s not a bad person, and she’s not a manipulator.  She’s just desperate, and we feel for her.

Episode grade: B+

Catch-22

In flashbacks, Desmond tries to be a monk, but that doesn’t work out. He meets Penny soon after. On the island, Desmond has flashes that convince him Penny is about to parachute onto the island, but in order for her to be successful, Charlie has to die in the jungle. Desmond leads Charlie, Jin, and Hurley into the jungle, but he is unable to let Charlie die.

The on-island action was better this week. Penny and Desmond’s first meeting wasn’t epic enough to really live up to their great romance. Is everyone on this show Catholic? The monk stuff led to nothing. It just showed us that Desmond has a lot of trouble finding his place in the world, something we knew about him before. It wasn’t creepy or funny or anything. It’s the lamest Desmond episode, but it moves things forward with the arrival of Naomi, and Charlie nearly dying was exciting. We’re glad Desmond couldn’t lead him to his death.

Episode grade: D+

D.O.C.

In flashbacks, Sun is blackmailed by Jin’s biological, prostitute mother, and Sun meets Jin’s wonderful father. On the island, Juliet gives Sun a sonogram in the Dharma medical station, confirming that the baby is Jin’s, which is bittersweet because it means Sun might die. Mikhail is alive and helps save Naomi, who reveals that Oceanic 815 was found, but there were no survivors.

The Naomi reveal was a mindf*** we loved. The Sun story was one of the best, sweetest Kwon stories in LOST history. We love Jin’s father and that entire flashback plotline. So, so nice. Finally, we were relieved that the baby was Jin’s. Remember, we didn’t like the adultery anyway. Who freaking does? The episode gets good marks for being so dang heartwarming, as well as showing one of the show’s only good fathers one more time.

Episode grade: A-

The Brig

In flashbacks, Locke is trekking with the Others, and Ben is trying to get Locke to kill his father. In real time, Locke gets Sawyer to go kill his father for him. Turns out, the man from Tallahassee is the original Sawyer. Locke episodes are almost always winners, and this is no exception. The on-island flashbacks and present-day actions were equally enthralling. A prominent Sawyer plotline was closed. We were annoyed that Locke always has someone else do his dirty work, but we understand that he can’t kill his own father. Richard started emerging as a character to watch, separate from Ben’s authority. This one is tragic. And perfect.

Episode grade: A+

The Man Behind the Curtain

In flashbacks, we see Ben as a little boy with a really mean dad who blames him for his wife’s death in childbirth. Ben joins the others, grows up, and kills his dad…along with most of the Dharma Initiative. In the present, Ben takes Locke to meet the Others’ leader, Jacob. After Locke hears Jacob, Ben becomes jealous and shoots Locke, leaving him in a mass grave. Juliet is revealed to be working with Jack against the Others and Ben.

Ben is a liar. He wasn’t born on the island. That wasn’t the episode’s only surprise or revelation. This one answered major questions: What happened to the Dharma Initiative? Who was Roger Workman? Why is Ben such a tool? The stuff with Ben’s childhood crush didn’t amount to anything, but most of the episode was dark, relevant gold. Ben shooting Locke was a shocker worthy of a finale, but we weren’t quite there yet. How freaked out where you during the Jacob cabin scene?!! OMG, we are still freaking out. We were like, “What the hell?” the entire time. Jerk that he is, you can’t hate Ben. He’s just too darn entertaining and complicated. That’s got to be one of the best villains…no, characters...in TV history. He’s a small, cold man, but you feel for him. Perfection once again.

Episode grade: A+

Greatest Hits

In flashbacks, Charlie remembers the five greatest moments of his life…his “greatest hits.” On the island, Jack prepares for war with the Others because they are coming to take all the pregnant women. Charlie has to swim to an underwater Dharma station to enable Naomi to contact her boat. That way, the survivors can get off the island. Desmond tells him that he has to die in order for them to be saved. We weren’t Charlie fans throughout the first three seasons, but just before his death, LOST made him our favorite character. The flashbacks worked so well. We cried, we cared, we were impressed. Who knew our hearts would break a little over one of our least favorite LOST characters? We loved his connection with Nor too. By this point, LOST was on a roll. Could the finale deliver? (spoiler: oh, hell yeah)

Episode A+

Through the Looking Glass parts 1 and 2

The survivors beat the Others, with a significant assist from Hurley. Naomi makes contact with her boat, but Locke throws a knife into her back trying to prevent the survivors from leaving. Ben agrees that contacting that boat is a deadly mistake. Charlie has success in the underwater station before finding out that Naomi’s boat wasn’t sent by Penny. He is able to tell Desmond this right before he drowns. Stupid Mikhail kills him (and dies for real this time). In flashforwards, we find out that both Kate and Jack get off the island, but Jack screams, “We have to go back!” We only find out the flashes are of the future in the last scene. HOLY F***!

The twist at the end was possibly LOST’s best, biggest surprise. Everyone was fooled. Everyone was impressed. Everyone was pumped beyond belief for the next season. Who knew the castaways could get off the island and the show would not only still work, it would move into its geekiest seasons yet. Seasons four and five were solid. Just about everyone agrees on that. There were only two bad things about this finale. 1) Charlie shut the door on himself and didn’t have to. Maybe it was a moment of panic that killed him, and he was thinking unselfishly (and irrationally). Still, we don’t think his death was necessary, and the show should have had him die in a more convincing way. 2) Jack’s pubic beard. That was hard to look at. Bleck! The show needed a ballin’ finale, and it delivered, blowing would-be contender for the nerd throne, Heroes, away. Heroes turned out to have only one good season. LOST had six. WIN. This episode made us love TV the way we do today and set a bar for twists that has never been topped.

Episode grade: A+

LOST- season two

By Dysepsion (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html), CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/) or CC-BY-SA-2.5-2.0-1.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5-2.0-1.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

We’re not actually re-watching LOST. Just Gilmore Girls. We don’t need to re-watch LOST to do this. We just need the episode titles. That’s how often we’ve seen LOST/how well we know it.

We want to repeat our DISCLAIMER: The LOST episodes will be graded compared to other LOST episodes. We can’t give them all A+s, or that wouldn’t be any fun. Except for Stranger in a Strange land, which would get a C- when compared to regular TV. That means we will give some episodes Fs and Ds, but know that we think every episode of LOST is better than 99% of the other stuff we’ve seen. We kind of tend to do this with all the shows we watch. We grade them against themselves and the other shows that WE watch, not all shows out there. Assume that we think all the shows we watch are As and Bs compared to other shows, because if they drop below that, we just stop watching them. Just know that nearly every episode of this show deserves an A. 

Man of Science, Man of Faith

In flashbacks, Jack saves Sarah from paralysis and meets a Scottish guy named Desmond while running stadiums. He gets a lesson in hope from his father. On the island, Jack, Kate, and Locke go into the hatch and find Desmond. Shannon sees Walt in the jungle, but everyone else just thinks she’s crazy.

The contents of the hatch really paid off in seasons to come, mostly because we like Desmond so much. The opening! We were obsessed with Make Your Own Kind of Music by Mama Cass after that, and so were our friends. Who knew that song could be creepy? Even creepier: Jack’s hair in the flashback. Wow, that was bad. We love that Jack’s father actually gave him some good advice, for once, and we also like how Jack is always criticized for his horrible bedside manner. We had to see Jack, Kate, and Locke go into the hatch about a thousand more times after this, but the first time was exciting as hell. Plus, we think this is one of the best Jack flashbacks.

Episode grade: A-

Adrift

In flashbacks, Michael very reluctantly gives his ex-girlfriend custody of Walt so that she can take him out of the country. All we really find out is that Michael gave Walt a stuffed polar bear and a speech a toddler could never understand. AWW. On the island, we get to see what happened to Michael, Sawyer, and Jin after the Others blew up the raft. They all lived, but when they made it to shore, they are grabbed by a hostile-looking, violent group of people. There’s some hatch action where Desmond has Locke enter Hurley’s numbers into a computer. Also, if you are ever asked, “What did one snowman say to the other snowman?” Answer: “Smells like carrots.”

It was a mistake to show us the hatch happenings from Kate’s perspective. We really just could have moved on. Watching Michael and Sawyer bicker and blame each other while sitting on the remains of the raft wasn’t exactly what we wanted to see after the last, awesome episode. Most of the episode featured them sitting on the water, adrift, if you will. We were mildly worried about Jin, but not much. He was never one of our favorites. He’s okay. As for the custody issues, did we really need to see the story behind Michael giving Walt to his ex? We got the message in the season one episode, Special. We know he wanted to be a father, but his ex got custody. There didn’t need to be a whole flashback about it. The end was cool and scary, but it wasn’t worth the whole hour of waiting. Compared to most other LOST episodes, this one was just boring.

Episode grade: F

Orientation

In flashbacks, Locke has a hard time letting go of his anger after his kidney is stolen, but a new girlfriend, Helen, gives him an ultimatum that helps him make progress. On the island, Desmond shows Jack and Locke a video that explains the hatch was built by scientific research company, The Dharma Initiative, in the 70s in order to control an electromagnetic condition on the island. Michael, Jin, and Sawyer are imprisoned by the passengers from the back of Flight 815.

This is our least-favorite Locke flashback, but that’s not much of a diss because most of his are fan-flippin-tastic. This episode introduced Dharma and lots of the show’s geeky mythology that would change the course of the season. Locke is a believer; Jack thinks it’s crap. Man of science and man of faith. This is also the introduction of Ana Lucia, played by Michelle Rodriguez. Now, we know this is an unpopular opinion, but Ern liked that character and found her sympathetic. Leeard, and the rest of the world, did not.

Episode grade: A-

Everybody Hates Hugo

In flashbacks, Hurley deals with the aftermath of winning the lottery, quits his job, and loses his best friend (an actor we hate, by the way). On the island, Hurley struggles with his new job as food distributor, fearful that everyone will start hating him for not being able to please everyone. He first thinks to blow it all up, and then he decides to just distribute it all at once. Claire and Shannon find the bottle with the messages that washed up to shore after the raft blew up.

It was cute when Hurley shared all the food at the end, but what the heck was with him wanting to dynamite it in the first place? That’s just crazy. We all know Hurley is a little crazy, but that goes beyond believability. There was almost no forward movement on the island. The flashback was fun though. We liked Starla and Hurley quitting. We have always hated DJ Quarth. Is that even his name? So  we weren’t sad when Hurley lost him as a best friend. It wasn’t really clear why his buddy started hating him. Just jealousy? Feeling like Hurley misled him into quitting his job? Couldn’t Hurley set him up with a new job at that box company?

Episode grade: C

…And Found

In flashbacks, we see Sun and Jin, unlucky in life and love, first meet. Jin was a worker bee, but an ambitious one. Sun was educated and modern, and she didn’t want to participate in her mother’s matchmaking. But then Sun started liking her match only to find that he wanted an American woman and was using Sun as a front to please his parents. Jin is treated like a dog at his new job, so he quits. That’s when they literally bump into each other and sparks fly. On the island, the tail- section survivors have decided to go to the main camp and join the A group. Michael leaves them to find Walt, so Jin and Eko go after him. They see some of the Others. Sun loses her wedding ring, but she finds it. She worries that Jin is dead.

The on-island drama of the week was literally Sun looking for her wedding ring. Big, huge snore. Yeah, Michael looked for Walt, but that didn’t go anywhere. It was just bickering and walking around in the jungle. However, the flashback was sweet and an important part of their love story. It was nice to see how they started out before deciding they had to be together. It was sweet, and it made us like Sun more that she went to a university. Seasons two and three tend to stall for time in between bursts of brilliant episodes/scenes.

Episode grade: D

Abandoned

In flashbacks, Shannon’s father dies and leaves everything to her stepmother. Shannon’s stepmother refuses to pay for the ballet internship Shannon gets. On the island, Shannon starts looking for Walt, since she’s been seeing him. Ana Lucia, Sawyer, and the others come across her, and, thinking Shannon is one of the others, Ana Lucia shoots Shannon. Shannon dies.

This is the first of several times LOST takes an unsympathetic character, makes them likeable in their flashback, and then kills them once you like them. That way, their death is sad. This episode gets a lot of criticism since so many people thought Shannon was useless, but it got to us. Shannon sincerely wanted to work hard at the internship, whether she would have been able to keep it up or not. We like that the episode killed Shannon. Her hysterical fighting with Sayid and search for Walt were fruitless and dull though. We think Sayid should never have fallen for Shannon. It cheapens his love story with Nadia. Before the plane crashed, he was looking for Nadia. Sayid is too mature and capable for Shannon. We don’t understand that relationship. It feels forced. Still, it was nice to have this twist and to like Shannon before her sad end. Sayid’s face after the shooting was memorable.

Episode grade: C+

The Other 48 Days

Instead of doing an episode dealing with the aftermath of Shannon’s shooting, LOST gives us the entire last 48 days from the view of the tail-section survivors. The Others kidnapped many of them, putting the remaining survivors on alert. One man, Goodwin, is an Other, like Ethan was. Ana Lucia accuses and imprisons the wrong man at first, but once she realizes who the Other really is, she kills Goodwin. The episode follows them up until the shooting of Shannon.

Yeah, this is information we want to know, but Sayid’s reaction to the shooting and the acceptance of the tail-section survivors into the main group is more pressing. So we were annoyed at first, but then the sheer brilliance of the episode won us over and completely engrossed us in this story. The scene where Goodwin dies is fantastic. The whole episode is creepy and exciting. One-island flashbacks really work. What’s funny is everything revealed in the episode is stuff we either already know or could have guessed, but it’s all so well done that the information feels new. We love the details.

Episode grade: A-

Collision

In flashbacks, we find out that Ana Lucia was a cop on leave after being shot. Once reinstated, she seeks vengeance on the thief who shot her, because he killed her unborn child. She shoots and kills him, illegally. On the island, Mr. Eko takes the dying Sawyer to the hatch so that Jack can tend to him. A frightened Ana Lucia ties Sayid up so that he will not plan revenge on her for killing Shannon accidentally. They talk and she releases him. Bernard and Rose reunite. Hurley hilariously remarks that he didn’t see that coming (that Bernard would be white).

It felt like this episode was stalling. Nothing in the flashback was shocking, and we couldn’t care less about Sayid’s grief over Shannon. There’s a debate over whether Ana Lucia is sympathetic. One of us thinks that if the character were a man, she/he would have been. All the actions and lines would have come across as “damaged” and “tough” were Ana Lucia a guy, rather than “bitchy.” If a guy’s unborn child had been killed by a criminal (which could have been done by shooting his wife), it would have been interesting. Maybe it’s the actress’s fault, but Ana Lucia gets a bad rep. We enjoyed her flashback, for the most part, but the on-island action is slow again.

Episode grade: C-

What Kate Did

In flashbacks, Kate blows up her abusive stepfather who turns out to be her biological father. She also meets and speaks with the man she grew up thinking was her real father. On the island, Kate takes care of Sawyer until he is seemingly possessed by the spirit of her stepfather. She runs around in the woods, sees a horse, and runs into Jack, who she kisses. Then she runs away before he has a chance to respond. Ana Lucia does not go to Shannon’s funeral. Michael uses the hatch’s computer to talk with Walt.

As far as Kate episodes go, this is one of the best. We finally find out what she did, and it wasn’t too disappointing. Yeah, it could have been better. She could have actually killed someone who didn’t deserve to be killed. We liked the on-island stuff where Kate seemed to go crazy with guilt and self-hatred over having this guy’s DNA. The Jack/Kate kiss was too long in coming. Jack obviously should have followed up on that, whether she ran away crying or not. This one was action-packed, and it ended with the eerie contact of “Walt.” Yeah, there’s no way that was Walt.

Episode grade: B-

The 23^rd Psalm

In flashbacks, we see Mr. Eko’s past as a Nigerian drug lord who poses as a priest and gets his little brother killed. On the island, Charlie leads Mr. Eko to the crashed plane where Eko finds his brother’s body. Claire finds out about Charlie’s heroin stash from the crashed plane, and she isn’t happy at all.

Numbers alert! “23” Yeah, that’s not special. Those numbers are everywhere, and that’s arguably the most popular psalm in the Bible. This is the only Mr. Eko flashback that’s worth anything. The others are dull and stress the viewers’ ability to care. This one even started out great: young Eko’s first murder was a gripping, stellar way to begin the episode. You really can’t top Eko facing the smoke monster though. This is where Charlie went from a little annoying to REALLY annoying. He spent the whole episode following Eko around and whining. But for his presence, this would have been an “A.”

Episode grade: B-

The Hunting Party

In flashbacks, Jack fails to save an Italian patient, and the patient’s daughter kisses Jack. Jack returns home, determined to work on his marriage and spend more time with his wife. But he’s too late. His wife is packed and ready to leave him. On the island, Michael goes off to look for Walt, and Jack, Locke, and Sawyer go after him. Jack, angry at Kate, refuses to let her come, but she follows them without permission. The hunting party runs into a group of the Others who have taken Kate hostage. The hunting party must give up their weapons and agree to stay on their side of the island in order to get Kate back. They have to return to camp without Michael. Jack is furious at Kate, even though she apologizes. Jack asks Ana Lucia about the possibility of raising an army.

This flashback is pretty useless. That Italian woman was in the top ten prettiest women we’ve ever seen in our lives though. Why does she not get more work? Is she too impossibly good looking? The end of the flashback was important, but it’s not like we couldn’t have guessed that a woman left a SURGEON because he was married to his work. That could have been told in two lines in the next Jack flashback. The best part of the episode, by far, was when the Others lit their torches and we met “Zeke” with the beard. It was scary, exciting, and infuriating. Sure, it was another tease that didn’t amount to much, but what a great moment. We don’t like what this episode did to Kate. Earlier, she was a useful tracker and brave A-team member. This episode made her into a dumb, pathetic nuisance who should have stayed in the kitchen. What, did this show need a Shannon replacement? This episode went a lot way in sealing the character as a G-I-R-L. She fouled up, and that erased a season of good behavior on the island. Jack was way too irritated with her (mostly because of the kiss) and should have let her come in the first place. Has he met her? OF COURSE she was coming.

Episode grade: B-

Fire + Water

In flashbacks, DriveShaft tries to make a comeback and fails. On the island, Charlie dreams that Aaron is in danger and becomes obsessed with the idea of baptizing the baby. Claire figures Charlie is using drugs again. Locke steals the heroin and puts it in the hatch. Charlie steals Aaron and takes him down to the beach. Claire cries, Locke takes the baby back, and then Locke punches Charlie a couple of times.

The ONLY good thing about this episode was seeing Locke beat the crap out of Charlie, who we fully hated by this point in the series. Even a flashback that showed him getting royally screwed over by his older brother couldn’t make Charlie sympathetic. This episode was a complete waste of time that drug the season down. Also, the butchering of Catholic doctrine was even apparent to the non-Catholic blogger. It’s such a populous religion that you could pull someone from off the street, have them review your material, and make sure it’s right. That was pure laziness. We guess we liked Charlie walking around in a diaper though. That was a good scene.

Episode grade: F

The Long Con

In flashbacks, Sawyer cons a woman even though he kind of falls in love with her. On the island, Sun is attacked by an unknown assailant and everyone blames the Others. Jack, Locke, Ana Lucia, and Kate fight over the guns. In the end, it’s all a ruse for Charlie to get revenge on Locke (by making Locke look foolish) and for Sawyer to get all the guns. Charlie attacked Sun, at Sawyer’s direction, and no one finds out that it was him.

We’re not sure why Sawyer decided to start being an ass again for almost no reason. Yeah, people took his stuff while he was presumed dead or escaped on the raft. That’s perfectly reasonable. We have to admire Sawyer’s genius plan to turn the other characters against each other. There’s no plot progression except for the introduction of Sawyer’s main off-island love who comes back to waste our time in subsequent episodes. It’s even more messed-up that he conned her after he developed actual feelings for her. We were mostly bored by this one, but it’s still a LOST episode, so we love it more than most episodes on TV.

Episode grade: D-

One of Them

In flashbacks, Sayid tortures a prisoner for the first time at the behest of American soldiers in Iraq. One of the soldiers is the man who raised Kate. On the island, Rousseau captures a man who she thinks is one of the Others and shows him to Sayid. Sayid brings him back to the hatch and uses his past talents to interrogate “Henry Gale.” Sayid is convinced he is an Other. Meanwhile, Sawyer and Hurley search for a tree frog that’s annoying Sawyer.

Oooh PLOT TWIST: Sayid didn’t learn to torture because he was in SADDAM HUSSEIN’s Republican Guard. He learned it from Americans because they are the secret bad guys, and we should judge ourselves, learn to be more liberal, and continue to hate the Bush presidents!! We usually love when LOST shows us something we don’t expect, but here, it felt forced, unlikely, and a little preachy. It just had no place on a show like this. This isn’t a political show. So yeah, other than the Kate connection, the flashback annoyed us. Thank goodness the on-island action more than made up for it. We are finally introduced to Ben, and this is the event that speeds the season up to its action-packed conclusion. The season is mostly meandering and repetitive until Ben shows up to put things in motion. Season two really starts here. We had to see Sayid’s dumb Shannon grief resurface again. Groan. That unbelievably stupid couple? That’s no one’s OTP. Let it die, show. Another thing we didn’t like: Why do we have a repeat of the plotline where Sawyer is looking for an aggravating animal? Didn’t we have that episode in season one?

Episode grade: B-

Maternity Leave

In flashbacks, Claire remembers the time she spent with Ethan. He did a bunch of medical tests on her and injected her with things. Rousseau and her daughter, Alex, help her escape. In real time, Aaron gets sick, so Claire, Kate, and Rousseau go to the abandoned Dharma medical station to look for a cure. Rousseau is looking for Alex, who was raised by the Others and is still with them. Nobody finds anything. It turns out that Aaron had a regular fever. Meanwhile, Jack and Locke disagree about how to treat “Henry.”

Eko cutting off his beard danglings: wtf. We’ll never understand that fully. Nor will we care. We love on-island flashbacks, and this is episode featured the first one. The Ethan scenes were unsettling in a good way. Sometimes babies just get sick. Listen to Doctor Jack, people. All we found out was that the Others use fake beards. Lots of this episode didn’t seem to go anywhere, so a lot of it felt flat in the end. We enjoyed the female-centric episode though. It left the boys behind and still managed to be one of the more serviceable LOST episodes. We also liked seeing Rousseau’s perfectly cast daughter. We’re pretty sure this episode is the time Ern’s all-time favorite book (“The Brothers Karamazov”) was referenced on this show. “Henry” didn’t want to read it. Peasant.

Episode grade: C

The Whole Truth

In flashbacks, Jin is diagnosed as infertile, but only Sun knows about it. On the island, Sun finds out that she’s pregnant. She swears to Jin that she’s never been with another man. Lies. Meanwhile, Ana Lucia, Charlie, and Sayid go looking for Henry’s balloon that will confirm his story.

We’re not fans of the storyline where Sun cheats on Jin and her questioning who the father is (not that we know about that by this episode anyway). It mars the love story a little, and it turns out to be Jin’s anyway. The island makes dudes’ swimmers extra Phelps-like. We also don’t like when Jin turns into a jerk randomly, going back to his old, domineering ways. It’s like when Sawyer stole all the guns. There’s growth and then backsliding. All of these things we’re complaining about are very realistic, but that doesn’t make them fun to watch. The best part of the episode was that last scene where Henry plants doubt as to his intentions and ends it with “Got any milk?”

Episode grade: C+

Lockdown

In flashbacks, Locke’s dad fakes his death and then asks Locke to help him get some money from some scam. Helen wants Locke to stay away from it, but Locke can’t. Locke proposes to Helen, but she turns him down because he is unable to let go of his father. On the island, the hatch goes into some weird emergency drive and traps Locke. Locke asks Henry to help him keep from having his legs crushed. He also asks Henry to enter the numbers. Locke ends up trusting Henry because of this, but then Ana Lucia, Charlie, and Sayid come back and let everyone know that Henry is a liar and an Other. Jack is kept from the hatch by Sawyer. They play cards for the medical supplies Sawyer stole.

This is the third lamest Locke flashback (The lamest being the one where he meets Helen and the second lamest being the commune one). The on-island action between Ben and Locke was good, but it didn’t really lead anywhere in the long run, did it? The question mark Locke saw and all the interaction felt mysterious and important, but it wasn’t. This episode was great the first time around, but it doesn’t hold up as well under multiple viewings. You have to admire Sayid’s investigation skills and obsession level. Oh, hey, remember Sawyer’s thievery and jerkitude? Well, he’s over his bad attitude and good-naturedly gambles the medical supplies for a pittance and then congenially hands them over when he loses. This dude is bipolar. As for the flashback? It all felt unfair. Why couldn’t Helen listen to Locke’s reasoning? Why couldn’t he explain that it was for a) closure and b) to get some of the scam money? Why couldn’t Locke stay away from that guy in the first place? Ugh, frustrating.

Episode grade: C

Dave

In flashbacks, Hurley is in a mental institution where he has an imaginary friend, Dave, who is interfering with his recovery. Libby was a patient too. On the island, Dave shows up and runs around the jungle, trying to convince Hurley that the island is all in his head. Libby kisses Hurley and convinces him that it’s all real.

This one you either love or hate. It’s kind of pointless, sure, and people think Dave being imaginary was supposed to be this big twist that MADE the episode. We don’t think that was the intention. This episode wasn’t supposed to blow our minds. It was supposed to show us how mentally unstable Hurley was before he got to the island, how he struggles to understand reality, and how much he needs someone to ground him. We found out why Hurley was in a mental institution in the first place (partly guilt over having been so fat he killed people…wow). We liked seeing Harry from Sex and the City. We were entertained the whole time. The Dave “character” was funny. Libby is the least-shallow person ever. Unrealistically so. But we like this episode. It entertained us.

Episode grade: B-

S.O.S.

In flashbacks, Rose and Bernard meet, he proposes, he finds out she has cancer, and he takes her to a faith healer in Australia. The healer doesn’t cure Rose, but she lies to Bernard and says it works so that he will drop his obsession to heal her. On the island, Bernard tries to make an S.O.S. signal out of rocks, but he’s such a douchebag that no one wants to help him. Rose tells him that she wants to stay on the island because she thinks it healed her, not the faith healer. Meanwhile, Jack and Kate try to trade Ben/Henry back to the Others in exchange for Walt. Michael appears instead.

Thank God there was only one Rose and Bernard flashback. One of the things Ern always hated about this couple was that Rose is always shooting Bernard down and nagging him. It’s not just in this episode too. In fact, in this episode, it’s the most tolerable, because at least she’s right in this situation. Re-watch it and pay attention to her naysaying. It will ruin the couple for you. This episode was sweet, we guess, but it didn’t tell us anything we didn’t already know. The island has healing powers? YOU DON’T SAY. Michael’s reappearance nudged the plot forward an inch.

Episode grade: D+

Two for the Road

In flashbacks, Ana Lucia travels Australia with Jack’s father as his bodyguard, but she ditches and calls her mother, asking to return home. On the island, Michael tells everyone that the Others are low-tech, savages with little more than sticks and few numbers. He wants to rally everyone to take the Others on and steal Walt back. Ana Lucia and Sawyer have sex, and she steals a gun off of him. Michael gets a hold of this gun and shoots Ana Lucia and Libby, helping Ben/Henry escape. Then he turns the gun on himself, popping his arm.

This episode is praised and famous for its shocking ending. After attempting to make Ana Lucia sympathetic (which didn’t work for most people), LOST killed her off. Having Michael do it, turning traitor, was even better than just having a regular death. We were kind of relieved that Libby got shot. We like Hurley, but we don’t necessarily want to see him getting action. It was almost as unbelievable as the Sayid/Shannon romance. The picnic thing was cute though. Once again, Ern liked Ana Lucia and the flashback. Almost no one else did though.

Episode grade: C

?

In flashbacks, Mr. Eko is a priest investigating a miracle in Australia. We find out that Claire’s psychic didn’t consider himself really gifted before meeting her. On the island, Mr. Eko and Locke find another Dharma station. The new station has TV sets watching the other stations. They see Jack walking around in their first hatch. Jack tries to save Libby, but it’s no good. She dies. No one knows Michael shot her.

This is the second best Eko flashback, which isn’t saying much, since we hate most of them. The miracle girl was appropriately creepy though, and it was cool to see Eko actually pretending to be a priest. Watching Locke start to lose his faith in the button was interesting. Any episode with so much Locke is good for us.

Episode grade: C+

Three Minutes

In flashbacks, we see Michael living with the Others, seeing Walt, and making a deal to rescue Henry/Ben. We also see that he’s made a deal to trade Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley in exchange for his son. On the island, Michael convinces the listed four to help him storm the Others camp and get Walt back. Sayid tells Jack that he fears Michael has been turned. At the end, Sun sees a sailboat heading for the beach. In the next episode, we find out it’s Desmond.

The flashbacks were good, even though we kind of figured that Michael had made some sort of deal to betray the survivors and get his son back. The only new piece of information was that they wanted a specific foursome. We’re glad Sayid figured out that in an INVASION, if someone wasn’t taking him, that meant it wasn’t going to be a real kidnapping plan. Come on. Hurley and not Sayid? Hurley and not Locke? Hurley and not Eko? Michael needed a better story. This episode was mostly set up, but it was gripping and tension-building, not to mention gratifying to see a character have half a brain.

Episode grade: C+

Live Together, Die Alone (parts 1 and 2)

In flashbacks, Desmond is released from prison after fouling up with the army, and he tells his rich sweetheart (whose father does not approve of him) that he is going to become worthy of her. His plan is to win some sailing race, but he crashes on the island where he is found by a man named “Kelvin.” Kelvin lives in the hatch and pushes the button. Desmond assaults him after Kelvin tries to abandon the hatch and accidentally kills him. On the island, Michael leads his foursome to the Others while Sayid follows on Desmond’s sailboat. Sayid’s plan goes awry and the Others grab Jack, Sawyer, and Kate. They let Hurley go. They give Michael and Walt a boat and instructions on how to actually get away from the island. Desmond goes to the hatch and realized that he caused Flight 815 to crash when he failed to enter the numbers promptly Locke stops entering the numbers and the hatch implodes. It might have done worse had Desmond not used a failsafe key or something.

We bet you read that summary and thought, “Wow, that was the crappiest summary of all time. It in no way captured the epic romance between Desmond and Penny, his desperation, his lowest moment, the craziness in the hatch, the fail safe, the Charles Dickens, Ben leading the others, Locke’s meltdown, Eko’s pleas, and the capture of Jack, Sawyer, and Kate.” This episode had a lot to do. It had to introduce Desmond and Penny. It managed to squeeze out our first tears over that couple. It had to wrap up season two. It had to implode the hatch and release electromagnetic activity.  It had to be creepy and exciting. It had to make sense. Well, it might have failed at that. But it was awesome and mostly pulled everything off.

Episode grade: A

Re-watching LOST season 1

Due to the surprising success of the Gilmore Girls posts (they have good numbers), we’re going to do the same thing with one of our other all-time favorites, LOST. We are also going to make the remaining Gilmore Girls posts even better and pay more attention to making them worthwhile. Before we start LOST, we want to have a disclaimer: The LOST episodes will be graded compared to other LOST episodes. We can’t give them all A+s, or that wouldn’t be any fun. Except for Stranger in a Strange land, which would get a C- when compared to regular TV.

That means we will give some episodes Fs and Ds, but know that we think every episode of LOST is better than 99% of the other stuff we’ve seen. We kind of tend to do this with all the shows we watch. We grade them against themselves and the other shows that WE watch, not all shows out there. Assume that we think all the shows we watch are As and Bs compared to other shows, because if they drop below that, we just stop watching them. Just know that nearly every episode of this show deserves an A. The same with Gilmore Girls (well, until seasons 6-7, anyway).

Pilot Part 1/Pilot Part 2

Oceanic Flight 815 crashes on a deserted island on its way from Sydney, Australia, to Los Angeles. There are 48 survivors. Surgeon Jack, friendly Kate, and ex-rock star Charlie go into the jungle to look for the cockpit and find the pilot (Greg Grunberg alert!), who is soon killed by some unseen force. They bring the transceiver back to the beachfront, and Iraqi Sayid tells them that they need to get to higher ground to send a distress signal. Kate, Charlie, Sayid, redneck Sawyer, spoiled Shannon, and eager Boone go inland, but the signal they attempt to send is blocked by a French woman’s ominous message that has been playing on a loop for 16 years. Doctor Jack stays with a wounded federal marshal, who wakes up and asks about Kate. Via flashback, we find out that she was a criminal being escorted back to the states by the marshal. We also find out that Charlie is a heroin addict.

Leeard always emphasizes the brilliance of this pilot. It may be the perfect start to a show, especially one this difficult to begin. The pilot had to establish its ensemble right off the bat, as well as give us mystery. It was worth every dollar spend on the crash. It was exciting and gave us the show’s first surprise because who really expected Kate to be the fugitive? On any other show, it would have been Sawyer. We also see our first polar bear. Did you know that the writers intended to kill Jack at the end of the pilot? The network wouldn’t let them because they felt it would alienate viewers. Game of Thrones, eat your heart out. LOST tried to do it first. We kind of wish the show had let them...Even if we were Team Jack in the Kate/Sawyer/Jack love triangle. Ern wasn’t yet addicted, but the first Locke episode would take care of that. While this isn’t the best episode of LOST, for a pilot, it was a triumph.

Episode grade: A

Tabula Rasa

In flashbacks, we see Kate living on an Australian farm until she is betrayed by the farmer and captured by the federal marshal. She forgives the farmer and wants to make sure he receives his reward. On the island, Jack is unable to fix the federal marshal, and everyone wonders when Jack will put him out of his misery. Jack doesn’t want to euthanize him, in case rescue comes, and because that’s just not Jack. Sawyer shoots the marshal, but he only punctures his lung. An angry Jack smothers the marshal to finish the job.

If you are wondering whether to catch up on this show, you should watch this episode just to see what we’d give a “D+” to in comparison to the other episodes. You’ll be thinking, “What the heck? I was entertained.” That’s how good the A episodes are. We get to see that Kate is a good person, despite doing something really bad. We don’t get to know what she did yet, because this is LOST. That’s one of the weaknesses of the episode. It leaves viewers frustrated and thinking they will know her crime soon. Not so. Once again, this is LOST, and we must wait for answers. We love the title of this episode and the show’s theme of second chances. We loved the Marshal’s death. It’s the first truly dark moment on the show. Kate episodes are hardly ever good, and this one has too many slow spots to put it up with the greats.

Episode grade: D+

Walkabout

In flashbacks, we find out that Locke was in a wheelchair before the crash, and after landing on the island, he was able to walk again. He was in Australia trying to go on a walkabout, but he was sent home due to his handicap. The plane’s wreckage is penetrated by wild boars, so Locke goes boar hunting. He succeeds and brings back meat. He sees the monster that killed the pilot, but he doesn’t tell anyone about it.

This was the show’s first jaw-dropping moment. Everyone wondered about the strange Locke, especially after he started hunting. To find out that he lived a sad, un-mysterious existence befriending phone sex employees and working at a box company defied our preconceptions. But, again, that’s LOST. This was the episode that sucked us in. The show kept the secret of Locke being in a wheelchair from us until the very end of the episode. The reveal and flashback to Locke’s healing was accompanied by music that perfectly matched our feelings when watching for the first time. Locke episodes are never bad or boring. This episode also established that this island has some kind of magic…and possibly a purpose for the crash’s survivors.

Episode grade: A+

White Rabbit

In flashbacks, Jack looks for his father in Australia and finds that he has died. Jack must bring his father back to L.A. for burial. On the island, panic sets in when the water supply goes down. Rage sets in after someone (Boone) steals the last bottles in an attempt to ration it. Jack is sleep deprived and hallucinating (?) his dead father in the jungle. Jack follows his father and discovers caves with fresh water. Jack officially steps up as the victims’ leader.

This is the first appearance of daddy issues on LOST. Lots of people on this show have daddy issues, including the writers, and this affects the show greatly. This is an important episode, but after the great episode last week, it wasn’t as entertaining. Also, viewers don’t know how much of the episode was real, so it might seem like a waste of time to them on first watch. Jack episodes are sometimes dull and repetitive. Jack’s famous “live together, die alone” speech at the end of the episode is a great, powerful moment that’s often referenced later in the series. Overall though, the episode is a little “meh” compared to other offerings. Sidenote: Jack is hot. A lot of guys on this show are hot.

Episode grade: D

House of the Rising Sun

In flashbacks, we see that Jin had to work for Sun’s father in exchange for his blessing on their marriage. After they are married, Jin comes home covered in someone’s blood. Sun doesn’t like the man her husband has become and secretly plans to run away from both Jin and her father. She learns English and decides to move to America, but she changes her mind right in the airport when Jin does something sweet. On the island, a rift grows between the survivors as some decide to move to the caves, because they are safer, and some want to stay at the beach, to wave to possible rescuers. Locke finds Charlie’s guitar for him and uses it to get Charlie to give up his heroin. Korean-speaking Jin attacks Michael because Michael accidentally stole his watch. Sun tells Michael what happened and asks him not to tell anyone that she can speak English.

The first romantic episode of LOST was touching and totally worked. We spent five hours of this show thinking that Sun didn’t love Jin, that he was controlling, that she was uneducated, that she was trapped, and that he was a monster. This episode showed that they once had a healthy, respectful relationship, but a controlling, criminal father poisoned them. There’s still some love there, but there are also secrets. This is the most complicated backstory so far, and it’s even incomplete, as we will soon see. That’s a weakness, but it’s also impressive that the show managed to make the abridged version work in this episode. It’s a different backstory than what the show has given us as of late and shows LOST’s diversity.

Episode grade: B-

The Moth

In flashbacks, we see Charlie beg his brother Liam to start up their band again, with no success. Liam is a normal family man now, shocked to find out that his little brother is still an addict. We find out that Liam is the one who got Charlie hooked on drugs. On the island, Charlie suffers from withdrawal and asks Locke for his heroin. Locke tells Charlie that he must be sure he really wants it, and that it would be better if Charlie chose to give it up rather than eventually run out of it and be forced to. Jack is trapped in a cave-in, and Charlie saves him. Charlie then asks Locke for the heroin and throws it into a campfire.

This episode loses points for being totally cheesy. Thank the Lord this show cut that crap out after season one. Did we really need to know how a rock star got into drugs? We being insulted by your addict brother really a reason to throw your life away? The cave-in thing seemed contrived. The whole thing was overly manipulative and beneath this show. We see too many moths, and it all comes across as heavy-handed. The only plot-advancing thing was Sayid getting hit over the head by an unseen attacker, destroying Sayid’s chance to send for help. Also, the Kate/Jack/Sawyer triangle is touched on a little, as Kate is obviously panicked when Jack is buried.

Episode grade: F

Confidence Man

In flashbacks, we see Sawyer try to con a husband and his wife (who Sawyer is sleeping with), but Sawyer drops the scam when he sees that they have a young son. On the island, Shannon’s inhalers are missing and everyone thinks Sawyer has it. Shannon has a series of asthma attacks, so Sayid tortures Sawyer, with Jack’s help, to get the location of the inhalers. Sawyer offers the truth in exchange for a kiss from Kate. After she kisses him, Sawyer tells her that he doesn’t have the inhalers. Kate punches Sawyer. Kate finds out that “Sawyer” is a fake name. When Sawyer was a kid, a man with that name conned his parents. When his father found out what happened, he killed Sawyer’s mother and then himself. Sawyer wants revenge on the man who ruined his life. Sayid, feeling shame over what he did to Sawyer, leaves the camp to be alone.

We can’t decide if it’s contrived or poetic that Sawyer became the man who ruined his life. We like that Sawyer walked away from the con after seeing the kid though. This episode hugely developed the Sawyer/Kate relationship, and it shows Jack and Sayid make a grave mistake. The cheesiness of last week is gone, so that’s good. We liked seeing Sun’s healing abilities present themselves early so that when she becomes Jack’s nurse, it feels natural. We liked Kate protesting the torture and Jack saving Sawyer’s life, even though Sawyer growled that if the tables were turned, he’d let Jack die. We’re not torture fans, but this was a good episode to precede Sayid’s backstory, which comes next week.

Episode grade: C-

Solitary

In flashbacks, Sayid is with the Republican Guard in Iraq and must torture a childhood friend, Nadia. When he is ordered to execute her, Sayid helps Nadia escape. On the island, Sayid follows a cable into the jungle and is caught in a trap set by the French woman, Rousseau. Rousseau tells Sayid that she was part of a science team that crashed on the island. She tells him that there are Others on the island and says that her team caught a sickness from them and died. Sayid escapes and hears whispering that Rousseau talked about and said came from the others.

This episode is great because Sayid’s backstory with Nadia is nothing short of epic. Also, it introduces the idea of the Others and Rousseau. The whole thing was a great way to get the audience emotionally attached to Sayid while moving the show’s mythology forward. We like the actress they picked for Nadia, and Rousseau is appropriately crazed. This was an entertaining, dark episode that could have been awful, but pulled off everything it attempted. The golf stuff provided much-needed levity.

Episode grade: B-

Raised by Another

In flashbacks, Claire finds out she is pregnant, and her boyfriend convinces her to keep the baby. Later, frightened of the responsibility he has taken on, Claire’s boyfriend leaves her, and she decides to put the baby up for adoption. Claire visits a psychic who says great danger surrounds the baby and is adamant that Claire not let another raise her baby. On the island, Sayid returns to camp and tells everyone about Rousseau and the Others. Claire wakes up screaming, thinking that someone is stabbing her in the stomach and trying to hurt her baby. In response to these attacks, Hurley starts a census of the survivors and discovers one of them, Ethan, wasn’t on the plane. Jack thinks Claire’s attacks are all in her mind. Claire realizes that the psychic orchestrated events so that she would end up on the island and have to raise her baby. The episode ends with Ethan standing in front of Charlie and Claire, looking creepy.

This is our favorite episode since Walkabout. It’s the scariest so far. The psychic portions and the flashbacks were eerie, and Ethan is like a monstrous Tom Cruise. When Hurley realizes they’ve been infiltrated by one of the Others, the audience is like, “Well, s*** just got real now.” It was all appropriately spooky. Also, it was high time for Claire to get her own flashback. We had no idea that it was going to be this good. We also got to see Sawyer being helpful, for once, and found out that Hurley’s name is “Hugo.” It’s about time for a backstory on Hurley, right show? Anyway, this one was thoroughly entertaining. We love when this show tries to creep us out. It usually can, with just a line and some music. 

Episode grade: B+

All the Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues

In flashbacks, Jack rats his father out for operating while intoxicated. On the island, Charlie and Claire are taken by Ethan, so Jack, Kate, Locke, and Boone go after them. Jack catches up to Ethan first, and Ethan kicks his ass. Jack and Kate find Charlie soon after, hanging by his neck from a tree. Jack performs CPR, and just when it looks like Charlie is dead for good, he regains consciousness. Boone and Locke find a metal structure buried underground.

At the time, this was episode was thrilling. In hindsight, the chase didn’t matter much and there were better hunts in the show’s future. The Charlie character annoyed us so much in season three that it’s tempting to wish he had died here. The flashback was necessary to show why Jack and his father parted ways. Jack did the right thing. We would have done it too. A pregnant woman died because Jack’s father made a drunken mistake. Family pressure is real, and Jack was strong enough to stand up to it. The fight scenes and chase were pretty good. This is the first of many Claire disappearances and the introduction of the hatch. We like that the show gave Kate tracking skills so that she could be more useful on hunts. We actually don’t hate Kate. She’s brave, nice, motherly, and played by a capable actress. It’s not her fault Kate backstories are often ridiculous. Boone works for a wedding planning company. Tee hee. Man, Ian Somerhalder is so much more likeable, more confident, and hotter on The Vampire Diaries.

Episode grade: C

Whatever the Case May Be

In flashbacks, Kate robs a bank in order to get a toy airplane. On the island, Kate and Sawyer go for a swim and find the Marshal’s locked case. Sawyer wants to know what’s in it, so he and Kate spend the episode fighting over it and trying to get it open. Inside, there are guns and a toy airplane. The toy belonged to a man Kate loved and killed. Shannon helps Sayid translate Rousseau’s maps that Sayid stole. They get no useful information.

This is the most skippable episode of the season. It started the Shannon/Sayid connection, which felt so forced and inauthentic. We don’t think anyone shipped them. It wasn’t exactly rewarding to spend a whole hour wondering what was in the case, only to have it be a keepsake. A toy. Kate’s backstory raises lots of questions and eventually delivers answers like these: answers that aren’t worth the wait. All you need to know about this one is that there are now more guns on the island.

Episode grade: F

Hearts and Minds

In flashbacks, Boone tries to pay Shannon’s abusive boyfriend to leave her, but he finds out that Shannon has been using bad boyfriends to scam him out of money. Then they have sex. It’s okay though, because they are not blood related. No, it’s not okay. It’s still creepy. On the island, Shannon and Sayid grow closer, making Boone jealous. Boone wants to please Shannon by telling her about the hatch, so Locke drugs him. Boone goes on a drug trip and hallucinates Shannon’s death. He feels relief when she is fake dead and lets go of his attachment to her, much to Locke’s approval. Locke feels the island gave Boone the experience he needed to have.

This one was just weird. We don’t much care about Shannon and Boone and are left wondering why Locke is sometimes so psychotic and odd. Did the show not realize that Claire is still missing? Aren’t there more important things to be worrying about than almost-incest? Most of the episode was a hallucination to boot, making it even more of a time waster. We hate the “it was all a dream” reveal. With such a useless episode, it’s surprising and impressive how entertaining and satisfying it actually is in the execution. Still, it was time for this show to speed things up.

Episode grade: F

Special

In flashbacks, Walt’s mother separates him from his father in order to take a lucrative overseas job and start a new relationship. Years later, she dies and Walt’s stepfather doesn’t want him because Walt is “different.” Michael comes to Australia to get his son. On the island, Michael doesn’t want Walt spending so much time with Locke, so they fight. When Walt is trapped by a polar bear, Michael and Locke team up to save him. Michael decides to build a raft. The episode ends with Locke and Boone finding Claire walking out of the jungle, looking dazed.

This was a decent episode that set up things that didn’t pan out later in the series. Walt was supposed to have more of a role on the island, but the kid playing him shot up like a weed and ruined the writers’ plans. The Walt character was pretty much written out after season two, except for a few appearances later. The whole part where Locke and Michael save Walt was boring and felt like a way to fill the episode and give the present an arc. Plus, the special effects were horrid. The episode was really all about the flashback and the relationship between Walt and Michael. It was cool to see that Michael really wanted to be a good father. This episode made us hate Cam on Bones. We liked when Walt made the bird crash into the window, but we never got attached enough to Walt and Michael to love this episode years later.

Episode grade: D+

Homecoming

In flashbacks, Charlie steals from a rich girl to get drug money, but he ends up sort of liking her and trying to get a regular job in order to continue courting her, with disastrous results. On the island, Claire has no memory of anything after the crash. Ethan goes to Charlie and threatens to kill one man every day until Claire is returned to him. He makes good on his promise, so Jack, Kate, Locke, Sawyer, and Sayid use Claire as bait to catch Ethan. They use the guns from the briefcase to trap Ethan so that they can take him alive and question him, but Charlie steals one and kills Ethan.

A great episode is ruined by a poor ending and stupid flashbacks that make us start to hate Charlie. He put his rage and desire for revenge above everyone else’s safety and need for knowledge. Plus, it wasn’t fun watching him con that nice woman for drugs. This episode was supposed to lead to something, like the revelation of more of the Others or information about them. Instead, it abruptly closed off the Ethan arc. We get that the show didn’t want us to know about the others yet, but this stalling for time after such an exciting episode beginning is frustrating. The flashback stuff was never again mentioned.

Episode grade: F

Outlaws

In Flashbacks, Sawyer mistakenly shoots the wrong man when he tries to get revenge on the person responsible for his parents’ deaths. He also briefly meets Jack’s father in a bar. On the island, a boar raids Sawyer’s tend, so he enlists Kate’s help in finding it. When they catch the boar, Sawyer decides not to kill it and instead gives his gun to Jack.

The best things about this episode are the flashbacks and the scene where Kate and Sawyer play “I Never.” Sawyer’s meeting of Jack’s dad in the bar pays off in a great emotional way at the end of the season. The boar metaphor is okay, but we hate when season one of LOST does stuff like that. The flashbacks here are better than the last Sawyer-centric offering.

Episode grade: C

…In Translation

In flashbacks, we find out that Jin planned to take Sun to America to get away from her father and start fresh. We also find out that the reason he was covered in blood was that he had to beat a man up in order to save his life after Sun’s father ordered his death. On the island, Michael’s raft is getting pretty big and has one available spot left. When the raft burns in a fire, everyone thinks Jin set the fire. Michael beats Jin up, and Sun stops it and reveals to everyone that she speaks English. Blame is then placed on the Others. Michael restarts building, and Walt tells Locke that he burned the raft because he wants to stay on the island.

So Jin isn’t such a bad guy. Okay, show, we believe you. We guess that’s kind of sweet and necessary in order to further this romance that some viewers got really attached to. We weren’t as into it. We were Desmond/Penny people, and we were also into LaFleur’s romance. We still don’t know everything there is to know about the man Jin beat up in the flashbacks, but that will come. We kind of don’t like that full story and wish it didn’t happen, but we’ll get to that later. It was so sad when Sun yelled to Jin, in English, “I was going to leave you!” We liked the burning of the raft and the reveal that it was Walt. We don’t want the castaways to leave the island just yet either.

Episode grade: C+

Numbers

In flashbacks, Hurley wins the lottery using numbers that a fellow patient in a mental hospital muttered over and over. The money brings him terrible luck. Hurley traces the history of the numbers and finds that they came from a man who overheard a radio transmission. He had bad luck too. On the island, Hurley sees the numbers on some of Rousseau’s papers and sets off to find Rousseau. He finds her and she tells him that her party was drawn to the island by the same radio transmission that was sending out the numbers. Hurley is gratified that Rousseau believes the numbers are cursed. She is the first to believe him.

This is one of our favorite episodes in season one because of the flashbacks. They are light, yet just as creepy as Claire’s psychic backstory. Hurley is one of the most beloved LOST characters, and his first flashback episode really delivered. We had no idea he’d be this interesting….or a millionaire. We wondered why he was ever in a mental institution. The numbers are one of the most fun things about being in the LOST fandom. Most of us can recite them on command. The numbers are frequently referenced in the series and obviously have some sort of magical or energetic connection to the island. The whole idea is just cool and well-executed. It was the perfect, crazy introduction for them. We never get an exact explanation of what the numbers are and why they are that way, but it’s one of those things we don’t feel like we need spelled out for us. They are probably cursed. That’s good enough for us. When an episode can be funny, twisted, and spooky at the same time, you know you have a winner.

Episode grade: A-

Deus Ex Machina

In flashbacks, foster care-raised Locke meets his birthparents for the first time, and his father cons him out of a kidney. On the island, Locke’s legs start reverting back to their useless state and the island gives him visions. Locke and Boone find a small plane on the edge of a cliff, and Boone climbs up to find a radio. Using the radio, he contacts survivors from the tail end of the plane. The plane falls, seriously injuring Boone. Locke regains the sue of his legs and carries Boone back to the camp. He lies about how Boone got hurt and then takes off back into the jungle. Locke bangs his fists on the hatch and screams at the merciless island, his god that hurt his friend. A window on the hatch lights up.

Obviously, the kidney incident is important to the show and Locke’s story. Locke’s daddy issues are the worst of all. This episode is a gamechanger, because it shows that there is probably someone living underground in the hatch, and it also has a major character critically injured. The visions were spooky and right on. This episode foreshadowed the fact that Locke will see the hand of fate where fate is not actually acting. Locke thought that meeting his father was meant to be, but it led to great loss and suffering. We also got to hear that Rose was right about there being other survivors. Yep, this pretty much confirmed that Bernard was alive. Exciting, dark, scary, tragic, emotional, not cheesy, and plot-advancing. What more could you ask for?

Episode grade: A-

Do No Harm

In flashbacks, Jack marries a former patient named Sarah. On the island, Boone tells Jack about the secret hatch. Jack tries for the whole episode to save Boone, but is finally forced to let him die. Shannon and Sayid have a romantic picnic dinner. Jack tells Shannon about her step brother’s death and she cries. Claire has a baby boy, with Kate and Jin’s help. The episode ends with Jack angry at Locke for lying about the hatch and Boone’s injuries. Jack blames Locke for Boone’s death.

Okay, it’s kind of lame that when one person on the island dies, another is born. The whole circle of life/exchange thing is cheesy. But we loved the contrast of Aaron’s birth and an emotionally traumatized Jack putting Boone through hell because he won’t let him go. Aaron’s birth was so emotionally effective. Boone’s death was mildly horrific, especially for Jack, but we are glad it happened. He was a dead weight character, and his death really got things going on the show. This is one of the only episodes in season one where the on-island action is better than what’s going on in the flashbacks. There are a lot of Jack flashbacks in season one. Watching Boone get medical attention is a heck of a lot more exciting than watch Jack and Sarah play Heart and Soul. And how cheesy were his vows? “I didn’t fix you; you fixed me.” BLECK. Other than that, this was a season highlight.

Episode grade: A  

The Greater Good

In flashbacks, Sayid works with the CIA and the Australian government to investigate a terrorist cell, because Sayid was once friends with a member, Essam. The CIA promises to disclose Nadia’s location in exchange for Sayid’s help. Sayid betrays Essam after the CIA threatens Nadia, convincing Essam to become a suicide bomber after Essam was having doubts. When Essam finds out, he kills himself. On the island, Jack attacks Locke and Kate forces Jack to take a time-out. Locke apologizes to Shannon, but she wants revenge. Sayid prevents Shannon from shooting Locke and then orders Locke to take him to the hatch.

Sayid’s flashback was effective in that you felt for both him and Essam. On this show, it’s not black-and-white who the good guys and bad guys are. We like the start of the rift between Jack and Locke. Locke is kind of a liar, but that doesn’t stop him from being our favorite character, bar none. It’s no surprise that Shannon failed to kill Locke. She really can’t do anything. We wanted her to die since day one. We like the actress though. Shannon is just annoying, and she screams and cries too much. Is she just there to make Kate look good? The on-island plot dragged this episode down by postponing the raft launching. Still, it’s a LOST episode, so we love it.

Episode grade: D+

Born to Run

In flashbacks, a fugitive Kate goes to visit her dying mother in the hospital, with the help of her childhood friend and doctor, Tom Brennan. Tom is married now, but the two share a kiss. At the hospital, Kate’s mom starts screaming for help when she sees her daughter. Tom and Kate have to run for it, but Tom is killed in the chase. On the island, Sayid and Locke show Jack the hatch. Walt warns Locke not to open it. Kate tries to take Sawyer’s spot on the raft, but Sawyer reveals to everyone that Kate is a fugitive. Michael is poisoned and everyone thinks it’s Sawyer for a while, but it turns out to be Sun trying to stop Jin from leaving on the raft. Walt tells Michael he set the fire.

This might be our favorite Kate flashback. It’s a lot better than the last two. Still, it comes at an unwelcome time. The season is about to end and the raft is about to launch. That’s the time we care about Kate the least. Tom was pretty cute and didn’t deserve to die or be left like that by Kate. He shouldn’t have gotten involved with her. It’s cool that we got answers about the man she loved and KILLED early, but she didn’t really kill him, now did she? Sawyer was a real ass, outing her like that. Just when we were starting to tolerate him too. We were surprised that Michael took the news that Walt poisoned the raft so well. He’s a decent father, even if he is willing to go too far for Walt. Yes parents, there is such a thing. Some things take precedence over your kids, believe it or not. This was filler, but the finale and hatch opening came next week.

Episode grade: C-

Exodus Parts 1 and 2

In flashbacks, we see the passengers of Flight 815. On the island, Rousseau warns the losties that the Others are coming. Rousseau also tells them that they can get dynamite to open the hatch at the Black Rock. A team follows Rousseau to the Black Rock, a slave ship that crashed centuries ago, gets dynamite and carries it back. Arzt explodes. They are attacked by the monster, which turns out to be a column of black smoke. They make it to the hatch and blow it open. They look down on a deep hole with a broken ladder. Rousseau steals Aaron, and Sayid and Charlie get him back from her. They find the drug smugglers’ plane and it’s full of heroin. The raft launches and comes across a boat. The boats crew turns out to be Others who take Walt and destroy the raft. Sawyer is shot.

The best thing about this finale is Walt being taken by the Others. It’s scary and surprising. The second best thing is the dynamite suddenly blowing up Arzt. (Arzt means “doctor” in German.) The smoke monster disappointed a lot of people, but we never hated it. Its most magnificent appearance is in season four though. Whether it comes across as stupid usually depends on whether it appears at nighttime and how good the special effects were. The most disappointing thing about the finale was the cliffhanger ending where we didn’t get to see what was in the hatch. We also thought Rousseau stealing Aaron was a waste of time. The launching of the raft was really cool and touching. The story really begins here. Season two changes things and doesn’t waste as much time as the first season did. Season two is nerdier and full of Others and violence and experimental episodes. We love it. But season one wasn’t bad.

Episode grades: B+