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Saturday, April 9, 2011

Pia got a record deal! and Camelot still fails to impress

So Ern is mollified...for now. Pia has the record deal her voice deserves.

But a girl had better not go this week, or heads will roll. Not really. There's nothing we can do but complain. BUT WE WILL.

In other news, Camelot on Starz is continuing to disappoint. Joseph Fiennes should not be allowed on our screens. He's not a good actor and he whispers every line. It's hard to watch that show without subtitles! Also, if you thought Arthur would grow up to be a good king soon, don't hold your breath. He mouthed off to Merlin and gave him an, "I'm the king, so I rule" line. Then, he slept with his friend's fiance right before the wedding, after that friend saved his life.

We're officially team Morgana. She's an heir too, isn't she? And she actually had to put up with Uther.

Friday, April 8, 2011

An American Idol Proposition

The thing about Pia was that most people liked her, but she was few people's favorite. She should have gotten a chance to become a favorite, due to talent and skill. But she got voted off in last night's shocking and unfair elimination. We're pretty disappointed in America right now. Ern may swear off the rest of the season out of sheer offendedness.

We think American Idol should have people vote for the person who should go home. Vote for the worst, and whoever gets the most votes goes. That would give the good people a chance to gain a following (Pia, Jennifer Hudson) and get rid of the worst people first. Most people can't agree on who is the favorite, but most people can agree on who is among the worst.

Sidenote: The other blogger has actually done something like that by voting for everyone BUT the person she thinks is the worst. One vote for everyone else is basically a negative vote for the other person, right?

What say you?

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Javier Bardem is Officially Roland in The Dark Tower

In case you didn't know, Javier Bardem accepted the part of Roland in the movie and TV adaptation of Stephen King's magnum opus. It sure took him long enough!

Everyone knows the guy has the talent to pull it off. But we aren't sure about his look. He looks too young. Fan favorite Viggo Mortensen looks a little older. Also, Bardem is a little too filled out. A little too lardy. He'd have to lose some lbs to play lanky, often starved Roland.

And lastly, Bardem has a strong Spanish accent. We don't know how that is going to work with the rest of the cast. It's possible that they will give everyone in Roland's original town/world a Spanish accent. In the fourth book, Roland spent a lot of time in a town where people spoke a little Spanish. That could work.

We didn't see him in the role at first, but we will give him a chance. We'll judge after we see the performance.

EDIT: The project has been dropped by the network and is now being shopped elsewhere.

Thursday night TV chat

ern (12:36:41 PM): Jacob Lusk on American Idol needs to go home. I'm over him. what did you think of haley's performance?
Leeard (12:41:48 PM): i liked it
ern (12:46:10 PM): casey is lame now
Leeard (12:46:48 PM): i liked last night’s performance, but i didn't like his singing
Leeard (2:08:25 PM): question
ern (2:08:28 PM): yes dwight
Leeard (2:08:29 PM): have you seen Spartacus?
ern (2:08:33 PM): yes, unfortunately
Leeard (2:08:44 PM): really? because i had like 4 guys yesterday tell me to watch it
ern (2:09:31 PM): i didn't like the show. you might. I thought it was stupid.
Leeard (3:17:09 PM): OMG NEW Vampire Diaries IN 4.5 HOURS
ern (3:17:16 PM): !!!!
Leeard (3:17:30 PM): i'm so freaking excited
ern (3:19:00 PM): me too
ern (3:28:46 PM): :-)
Leeard (3:28:50 PM): :-D
(Right as the Vampire Diaries starts, hours later.)
ern (8:01:05 PM): eeeeeeee!!!
Leeard (8:01:32 PM): h*** yes
(During The Vampire Diaries)
Leeard (8:02:09 PM): poor jenna
ern (8:02:20 PM): Jenna needs to nut up, because it looks like they are going to tell her
Leeard (8:03:09 PM): that would be awesome
Leeard (8:04:17 PM): i love it when they punch uncle john. Or cut off his fingers. or anything
ern (8:04:43 PM): me too
ern (8:06:42 PM): do you think elena's mom is a bad actress?
Leeard (8:07:24 PM): oh yeah. i want to trust her though. which is annoying
ern (8:07:43 PM): I don't. I want her to be evil. she was a bad actress in 24 too
Leeard (8:08:25 PM): oh damon, i've missed you
ern (8:14:03 PM): she's such a bad actor!
Leeard (8:14:14 PM): i'm trying to ignore her acting. oooooooooooh damon, i've missed you. it would be difficult for me to love damon any more than i already do . as much as i love the drama she brings, someone needs to stake isobel just so we don't have to deal with her acting
ern (8:25:31 PM): mmhmm
Leeard (8:34:51 PM): i love that Matt is making a fuss about his sister. you know how much i loved vicki
ern (8:37:20 PM): I loved vicki too
Leeard (8:37:24 PM): no you didn't!
ern (8:37:33 PM): well, I love her now. in hindsight, I think they killed her too soon
Leeard (8:43:25 PM): this should be a very cool development
ern (8:43:35 PM): what?
Leeard (8:43:57 PM): bonnie just freaking controlled the weather
ern (8:44:06 PM): that's not that cool. Jesus can do that without witch powers
Leeard (8:44:28 PM): um is Jesus a character on this show? No. bonnie could barely light candles before
ern (8:44:57 PM): true
Leeard (8:45:00 PM): this gives her a ****ton of powers
(After Elena’s mom dies)
ern (8:47:35 PM): bad acting bye bye
Leeard (8:47:46 PM): but i wanted alaric to kill her
ern (8:48:28 PM): please, this show never gives him anything to do…. besides jenna
Leeard (8:48:55 PM): i know, but i thought that could be something for him to do
(Leeard finds the chat portion from a million years ago when Ern said she didn’t like Vicki. It says:
“Leeard: i miss vicki!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ern: i don't. Leeard: how do you not miss her? ern: she was a jerk”)
Leeard (8:50:10 PM): found it
ern (8:50:17 PM): ughhhhh I hate you
Leeard (8:51:21 PM): awwwwww poor matt
ern (8:51:39 PM): don't do it! Don’t take his memory! Noooooo. stupid
Leeard (8:52:04 PM): i don't think it was stupid. i think it was realistic
ern (8:52:16 PM): well, you're wrong.
Leeard (8:52:38 PM): i don't think i am
ern (8:52:44 PM): you never do
Leeard (8:52:51 PM): i think i'd want someone to compel me
ern (8:52:54 PM): I just think it negates the cliffhanger weeks ago. I would NOT want someone to compel me
Leeard (8:53:20 PM): i think it allows for an even better reveal, when matt's ready to hear it. i want him to know, but he was NOT prepared . it needs to come from a place of love, not a near-death experience
(After we find out Matt still knows and so does Caroline’s mom.)
ern (8:55:30 PM): I like this development
Leeard (8:55:41 PM): i do too. vamp!alaric? huh? WHAT?!>!?!?!
ern (8:59:30 PM): klaus
ern (8:59:38 PM): called it
Leeard (8:59:40 PM): yeah, i got it when he started speaking Bulgarian
ern (8:59:45 PM): muah hahahahaha
Leeard (9:00:07 PM): this show is beautiful
Leeard (9:00:12 PM): BONES! Awwwwww no!!! Damn you, last minute of idol! want to know who gets kicked off of idol?
ern (9:00:46 PM): yes
Leeard (9:00:49 PM): because i just found out
ern (9:00:54 PM): will i be mad?
Leeard (9:01:03 PM): i think you might be a little mad
ern (9:01:07 PM): tell me.
Leeard (9:01:12 PM): america hates women
ern (9:01:17 PM): noooo
Leeard (9:01:18 PM): can you guess who it is based on that?
ern (9:01:23 PM): Lauren?
Leeard (9:01:26 PM): nope, then I'D be mad
ern (9:01:36 PM): mmmm. Haley?
Leeard (9:01:42 PM): who do you like more than i do?
ern (9:01:48 PM): ....don't say. it had better not...
Leeard (9:01:56 PM): yep
ern (9:01:59 PM): no. NO
Leeard (9:02:01 PM): yep
ern (9:02:03 PM): that's BS
Leeard (9:02:07 PM): america hates women
ern (9:03:34 PM): I'm so mad about American Idol. At least five people deserved to go home and not Pia
Leeard (9:03:48 PM): i'm kinda mad that no men have gone home
ern (9:04:37 PM): I'm not surprised. The guys I know (who aren't my brother) don't think it's manly to listen to female singers. Which is completely NOT manly, in my opinion. The girls I know want the guys too. Sensitive guys with guitars.
Leeard (9:04:48 PM): oh i know
ern (9:06:21 PM): It's true. It's been Ashthon, Karen, Naima, Thia, and Pia. Either America hates people with funny names, or America hates women
Leeard (9:06:35 PM): or both
ern (9:06:36 PM): Casey almost went home though...but he had to be unbelievably bad to do so
Leeard (9:06:42 PM): true point
ern (9:07:09 PM): Scotty is going to win

America's Next Top Model- Brittani v. Alexandria (and is Jaclyn that dumb, really?)

Last night was the best America’s Next Top Model episode in ages. Tons of drama, two photo shoots, and Tyra trying to make a point that no one really cared about. Plus, there was a smack-down of a major bully. Tyra heavy-handedly made it clear that she can be outvoted on the show. Meh.
This episode saw Brittani and Alexandria on opposite sides. Even though Brittani had an army of minions behind her (the other girls), Alexandria still came out the victor. Whatever her role in instigating all the hatred, Tyra was right, she handled herself well during the main struggle. But we don’t know how much this has to do with producer editing.

We felt really happy for her when she won a car in the challenge. She said, “But I don’t have a car.” Poor thing. But we don’t have to live with her, so it’s easy to feel bad for her.
We have a post rushing to Alexandria’s side from a few weeks ago, but we feel for Brittani too. We know how hard it is to live with people who have severe emotional and social issues. Even if they stem from abuse, it is still hard to deal with difficult people. The hardest thing is that you feel like you should say something, like you should teach them, or like someone else needs to see how messed up they are. The bottom line is YOU’RE RIGHT and they are crazy. When you don’t know what the right thing to do is, you can accidently do the wrong thing to handle these situations.

But one thing is sure: You should not badmouth them or get in a fight in front of your superiors, judges, and clients. Keep it classy. And that’s what Brittani did not do. Pride and anger go together. When you feel like you are better than someone and no one else is noticing that, anger and jealousy can take over. After Tyra put the bully in her place, she crumbled, unable to breathe. It was annoying when Alexandria insisted, “I’m strong, I’m alpha, I’m the lioness.” But that turned out to be true this week.

Monique and Brittani were our early favorites, but it looks like we are jumping on the Kasia train for the win. With Brittani on Tyra’s bad side and Monique, inexplicably, gone, neither of our early favorites have a shot. Alexandria doesn’t have a shot either, unless she gets sympathetic, fast. No matter how well they model, this show never picks the difficult personality who none of the other girls like (see: Melrose).

We know what you are thinking: Why aren’t we pulling for Jaclyn? Because she offends us. If this is really who she is and how she acts all the time, then we’re sorry for the following statements. But it seems like Jaclyn is sort of a diabolical genius working the “sweet, girl-next-door angle.” We’ve seen her dip like a stripper. No one innocent and naïve can dip like that! All of her photos are great and calculated. She’s friends with everyone, and her personal interviews are cute and likeable. And yet, she pretends to be stupid. She pretends to be scared and timid. We think she’s working a dumb sexpot angle, so that everyone will like her, and it’s an angle that we’ve hated since the first girl worked it and stole a hot guy from smart girls. Ugh.
Mikaela went home. We did not care. She consistently churned out poor pictures and no drama.

Episode grade: A

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

The Borgias review

We thought it would be best if the non-Catholic blogger wrote this post, so it wouldn’t be biased. That way, we would be giving a chance. But even the non-Catholic didn’t like it.

The Borgias are not boring, but the two-hour premiere of the TV show was. Hey, at least it was better than The Tudors. There was SO MUCH potential here. The actual history is rich, soapy, and violent. There’s even some incest (no, the TV show didn’t just add that awkward sibling moment in for the heck of it). But this TV show had the pacing of the first season of HBO’s Rome without Rome’s quality.

The tone of Showtime’s The Borgias was cold, distant, and scattered. We never got a reason to care or a sense of why these characters were doing what they were doing. For the most part, we don’t know who they are.

On the sex: There wasn’t THAT much sex and nudity (for a Showtime medieval show), but parts of it seemed decidedly porn-y. The whipping scene was a touch homoerotic. The little sister played the naïve, little-girl, sexpot card throughout the premiere. And when the pope got his new mistress, it started with a confessional scene. It was the equivalent of “I’ve been such a bad girl” and “Well, then a whipping is in order.” Bleck. Are we just imagining the subtle attempts to lure viewers with common, cliché male turn-ons here? This blogger actually doesn’t mind sex scenes at all, but there needs to be more to TV than that, otherwise, just go watch porn.

Jeremy Irons was fine. Not excellent. The character we liked so far was the cardinal challenging him. It’s important to have a good actor playing the main character’s nemesis.

During the last 20 minutes, the show picked up in pacing. We liked the last 20 minutes. Most of the second half worked and focused on the intrigue. But the first half was unbearably boring.

For good TV, we need to care and we need the story to be more than “The Pope has sex, oh my!” If this could turn into a The Godfather-type thing, we would be into it. A Pope having sex hundreds of years ago doesn’t shock us, doesn’t do much to discredit the Catholic church today, and doesn’t entertain us as much as power struggles and actual DEPTH would.

In any case, this is one to wait on. Wait for the DVD, if you hear from us or others that it gets better. There are many things on TV that are more worth your time, and this would be more addictive in a season-long DVD binge, rather than week-by-week. So far, it’s very shallow, very stupid, and very dull.

Episode grade: D+

Monday, April 4, 2011

Chaos Pilot Review

Yes, yes. We will get to The Borgias and more soon. It’s spring, and a new crop of shows are getting churned out. Last Friday, CBS premiered its new comedy spy show, Chaos. It’s a less nerdy Chuck. We’ve never seen Get Smart (except for the movie), but people are comparing it to that. We didn’t think it was silly enough to warrant the comparison.

We liked the set-up of Chaos. It’s about a team of CIA agents who do what they want, and to hell with the consequences. But they have good hearts, actually get stuff done, and value human life. We know, we know. For a show about the CIA, that’s not very realistic (Just kidding CIA, if you are reading! You guys are the best!) They would get fired, but they have good political connections. The pilot opens with adding a new guy, who was supposed to be a mole for the boss, but of course just becomes one of the guys.

It was sometimes funny and there was some action. We already like some of the characters (the Human Weapon and the Scottish guy). The main female so far isn’t very interesting or charismatic, and that’s a disappointment, but we are willing to give it time. It's also rare to see a Hispanic man as a main character on network TV, so that's cool. We've seen that actor be funny on a lot of shows (Scrubs, Ugly Betty), so he's paid his dues and deserves a lead.

It wasn’t fantastic, but we like the premise and execution well enough to give it more episodes. There's promise, if it doesn't get canceled in two episodes due to its low ratings. We will watch next week.

Episode Grade: B-