Five Endings to Dexter that Would Have Been Better than the One We Got

Dexter was one of our favorite shows. We even loved the Lumen season. It was season six that dropped the ball, but season seven caught it again. Then season eight took a knife and POPPED the ball. The final episodes were so bad that we can’t in good conscience recommend the show anymore. It taints the entire thing. 

The only way we can make people watch it is to turn off the show before the last season and say, “I don’t have those DVDs, but here’s how it ends” and make something up. Here are our options. Sound off with your own if you have other thoughts:

1. Dexter and Deb are busy hating each other. Dexter leaves the country, but Deb gets a hold of Harrison so Dexter can’t take him. The second half of the season: a time jump. Harrison is ten and is showing signs of a Dark Passenger. Dexter comes back into the country at Deb’s request to help Harrison the way his father helped him. After a little bit of that, Dexter is arrested. Death penalty.
2. The same ending, only Dexter dies and doesn’t become a lumberjack

BUT, we hear that Showtime wouldn’t let the writers kill Dexter (we guess they had no problem with Deb, arguably the heart of the show, dying…weird), although he absolutely needed to die. Still, there were options

1. The way the show was going at the perfectly tolerable beginning of the final season, Deb hated Dexter and even tried to kill him. The show should have gone all the way with that. Rather than salvage the relationship, a season-long arc of Deb hunting Dexter, ending in a bloody climax that killed one or both of them, would have been much more exciting. It might even have been more true to the characters. 
2. Dexter abandons the code completely, goes off the rails, and starts killing whoever he wants. In season seven, he abandoned the code for a kill. Hannah had a lot to do with that. One problem with most of Dexter’s run is that Dexter has a conscience and feels bad for things like Rita’s death and Deb’s trauma. Sociopaths. Don’t. Feel. Bad. It was all psychologically unbelievable. It would have been more fitting to have Dexter just become a real serial killer. Then someone like Batista could have shot him. Instead, the show wimped out by making him a normal family man vigilante who was capable of some very normal love. That would have been fine…but that’s not the idea of the show. Stick with your idea. 
3. Dexter and Deb are busy hating each other, but they have to team up to protect themselves and Harrison when Hannah returns. Hannah kills Deb; Dexter kills Hannah. Dexter gets blamed and has to run with Harrison. He gets out of the country. In his new country, Dexter starts hunting again. 

As things stand, we got a boring season, a cop-out on what the show was setting up with Deb, and the worst possible ending to the series in the finale. Actually, the show could have done worse. It could have had Deb and Dexter have sex before she died. The show flirted with that, but decided that would be really stupid. Then, it decided to do the second most stupid idea.

UGHHHH

Season eight half one grade: B

Season eight half two and finale grade: F

Burning TV questions that only time can answer/things we're worried about:

1. Will they drag Pretty Little Liars on too long?
2. Will Supernatural ever be good again? Will Homeland be able to match the quality of its first season next year? 
3. Will Breaking Bad and Dexter have endings worthy of them? And can they please let Jesse Pinkman live?
4. Will George R.R. Martin's sixth book be better than four and five? Will he actually end it on the seventh? Can he finish on time to stay ahead of the show?
5. Will the next crop of new shows be better than the new shows last year, of which there was maybe one good effort?
6. Has Once Upon a Time completely lost its thunder, and will the show ever make sense? Ditto The Vampire Diaries.
7. Will the 24 reunion be good, or will it be like 24:Redemption, the awful movie?
8. Will they make more of the (still excellent) Arrested Development series or will the haters shut it down?
9. Will people inexplicably keep watching Arrow and keep it on the air?
10. Will Bunheads ever have anything resembling a plot?

ERGHHHH

Summer TV List

Family Tree- May 12

Arrested Development- May 26

The Fall- May 28

Teen Wolf- June 3

The Fosters- June 3

Switched At Birth- June 10

Twisted- June 11

Pretty Little Liars- June 11

Wilfred- June 20

Copper- June 23

Under the Dome- June 24

Big Brother- June 26

Dexter- June 30

Ray Donovan- June 30

Orange is the New Black- July 11

Web Therapy- July 22

The Bridge- July TBA

Breaking Bad- August 11

Low Winter Sun- August 11

We are dropping True Blood, which gets more and more boring each season. We couldn’t give a crap about a single character anymore.

Dexter will end this year; Jennifer Lawrence; Suburgatory; Mean Girls Musical

Even though Dexter's ratings are awesome, the execs would rather end the story well than milk the cow until it dies. You read that right. Showtime wants Dexter to have an endgame and go out on a high than drag it out. Great news. Also, poor Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter won't have to work with their exes anymore, haha.

Congrats to Jennifer Lawrence for landing the cover of Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People edition. That's an honor shared by presidents. We love her to death, but we hope the world doesn't get sick of her. This feels over-the-top and like overexposure. But she IS influential to her generation. As long as she keeps churning out great work and carefully picking movies, she should be fine. It wouldn't kill her to lay low before and after Catching Fire though.

Suburgatory ended its season and has been a wonderful, hilarious show during its run. We hope it gets renewed. It's on the bubble.

In amazing news, Tina Fey has been talking about making Mean Girls into a musical. Can we pre-order tickets yet? Amanda Seyfried wants to play Regina. We don't think she has a "mean girl" singing voice. She sounds like a Disney princess. That's a no from us, but maybe she'll have a better shot at convincing Tina.

Dexter- season 7, episodes 10-12

By Kristin Dos Santos (Flickr) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

The show went off the rails for the first time this season in the episode where Dexter abandoned his code. He really thought that his Dark Passenger wasn't him? We thought he at least knew it was a part of him. Dexter, as a scientific adult, seeing his urge as a separate entity doesn't make full sense for us. What Hannah said didn't seem like enough to convince Dexter to abandon the code. It wasn't explained well enough.

Dexter keeps the right character alive, Revenge gives us a little history, The Walking Dead is so freaking good, and Once Upon a Time needs to move it along

Dexter- Helter Skelter
The only lame thing about this episode is that after two weeks of us falsely thinking that LaGuerta knows that it's absolutely Dexter, she still doesn't know and is investigating names. It's realistic to have her doubt that it's Dexter and look through all the boat owners, but since Deb was acting so squirrelly last week and the show has been teasing us with this for a while, we thought maybe last week sealed it. No dice. LaGuerta is working with the old captain to find information on all the listed law enforcement personnel. From the looks of the preview, La Guerta lands on Dexter next week.

We have yet another new baddie. An arsonist. We love the way Dexter handled Deb's love compassion, brushing it off in a socially inept way. We also love that Hannah didn't die. We thought she would and that would ignite the Deb/Dexter romance we've been dreading, but it looks like Dexter is really in love with the living Hannah. It's not like we are into Hannah so much as we just need her around to keep Dexter from pulling a Jaime Lannister. We were sad to lose Isaak though. And surprised. Like we've said before, we love that actor. It was cool to see Dexter try to protect him. We're worried for Quinn. This Nadia thing can't end well. Can it?
Episode grade: B+

Revenge- Lineage
Lots of this show's fans from last year are whinging that it's stupid this year. We maintain that it's no stupider than it was last year. It's like everyone is just now realizing that it's an overacted, ridiculously plotted, slow-moving soap opera. They call it a guilty pleasure for a reason, folks. It wasn't much of a pleasure this week either, except for watching Amanda save Ashley from sex trafficking. We wonder how often Ashley and Amanda met before the show's starting point, if at all, and how much Ashley is aware of. No matter what, it's good to see the show make Ashley useful. The mission was cool, but completely outlandish. The Jack stuff was a complete waste of time, but watching Victoria square off against her evil mother and Conrad ruin his son's poetry career was pretty fantastic. The show needs to stay away from Nolan's corporation drama. No one cares. This moved the plot almost nowhere and was just backstory that no one really wanted, but it was entertaining. Stupid, but entertaining.
Episode grade: B-

The Walking Dead- When the Dead Come Knocking
Glenn has been our favorite character since the show began for a reason. He's so bad ass. We don't hate Maggie for cracking at all, especially since she did it for Glenn, but it was a little annoying that it was a woman who broke. Normally, it wouldn't be annoying, but since AMC fans seem to hate all the women on the channel to an irrational degree, we hate to give them more ammo. Still, Maggie is a far cry from Skyler White, Betty Draper, or Lori Grimes. It's the lack of nagging that will save her from the wolves. It's also fortunate that they kept quiet long enough for Rick and the others to infiltrate. Judith is a gross name. We wanted the next episode so badly, but we have to wait.
Episode grade: B+

Once Upon a Time- Into the Deep
Leeard and many others thought this was an amazing episode. Ern was a little less impressed, but still, it was pretty good. It's getting a little too saccharine that Charming and Snow keep talking about how they always find each other, and the other characters have started saying it too. Captain Hook can rip out hearts? In other news, there are zombies on this show now.
Episode grade: B

Dexter, The Walking Dead, Homeland, and The Good Wife

Since there was no Once Upon a Time or Revenge this week, we decided to do all the Sunday shows today, instead of leaving Homeland and The Good Wife for tomorrow.

Dexter- Argentina 
UGHHHHH. Show, you could have just dropped the Deb/Dexter love, but you had to address it. At this point, there is no way that Dexter is just going to ignore it forever. There will come an episode, just you wait, where he returns her love, and then we will burst into red-hot flames, there will be no blog, and you guys will throw your TVs out the window in a depression. This was the best possible time for Deb to confess her love, if that was going to happen. It wasn't a groan-inducing, sweet, or faux-romantic scene. It was an angry breakdown. Other than that cropping up again, this was a great episode. We loved seeing Astor and Cody again. LaGuerta closes in on the BBB (Dexter), and even sees that the name of Dexter's boat is "Slice of Life." What is she going to do now?!! Isaak confirmed that he was gay with Viktor- something everyone had already guessed, and the Koshka hates him now. That was a good scene.
Episode grade: B

Homeland- I'll Fly Away
We hate cliffhanger endings. Is Brody going to be re-turned into a terrorist? Because that would be good. We like when he's a terrorist. It's interesting. The Brody/Carrie stuff is getting a little stupid. We don't like when they have sex anymore. It was good in the first season, but now we're over it as a love story and as a spy tactic. It's just getting nasty and making us like Jessica more and more. The Dana drama has been dealt with. The daughter was paid off, Dana got to admit her act to that daughter, and Jessica knows everything. Jessica was really cool in this episode, mom-wise. She knows that Brody lied to her about working with Carrie. It's almost the end of the season. We love this show, but stop with Carrie being pathetically in love with Brody, please. It makes us hate her.
Episode grade: B-

The Walking Dead- Hounded
What? The phone was a phone to heaven. What? That's so unsatisfying. That suck so much! Also, this isn't Supernatural, it's The Walking Dead. Is phone calls from dead people even a part of the mythology? Was this in the comic books? Was Rick just having auditory hallucinations? This week is making us hate all of our Sunday shows a little. We hate when dumb stuff just pops up and mars a show with writers that usually have taste. Andrea and the Governor did what they've been about to do for weeks: Boned. Nasty. The worst things happen to Andrea. He's only awful if you know he's awful though. Otherwise, he's pretty cute and charming. We're glad Michonne is with the main crew. She can tell them what happened to Glen and Maggie. At least she brought the formula too.
Episode grade: B-

The Good Wife- Here Comes the Judge
We felt so bad for that judge. The guy playing him was really good. At first, we thought he was a liar, but he turned out to just be a sad, old drinker. Too bad the firm still isn't out of bankruptcy though. The judge dropping the "Actus Reas" hint got him the result he wanted, even if he was dragged through the mud. It's not time for Nathan Lane's trustee to leave anyway. He hasn't yet tried to exact vengeance for last week. We love Amanda Peet on this show and really root for her. We hope she stays or at least pops up once in a while. We need a new state attorney we know, like when Cary opposed the firm. It makes things more interesting when you know both parties. Poor Cary. Maybe Kalinda will comfort him? We like them together. Someone needs to take down Nick. Hopefully it's Alicia. We love Grace's new guy. It's about time she got a good story arc.
Episode grade: B+

Once Upon a Time goes back to Red, The Walking Dead emphasizes that Rick is a Man's Man, Revenge gives us what we want, and Dexter makes LaGuerta more important

Angela George [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Once Upon a Time- Child of the Moon
We love that Red didn't stay with the pack for very long. She learned what she needed to know, and then she picked "herself" and Snow. King George is pretty cold. Killing Billy the Mouse, framing Red, and burning the hat? He's about to top Rumpy and Regina, who are bad guys we actually like and feel for. King George is the most one-dimensional villain on this show. It's fine to have one though. Charming is a much better leader and man this season, because David is pretty dead. We have yet another realm: the realm between the living and the dead. Aurora and Henry can go there, and Henry can kick ass there. Why does Rumpy like Henry? Because he's a kid? Hopefully the diamonds and fairy dust lead to mroe characters being able to use magic. We love the loyal, friendly females on this show. Snow, Red, Belle, Emma, Aurora, Mulan...They keep popping up. Take THAT, "women are catty and two-faced stereotype."
Episode grade: B

The Walking Dead- Say the Word
After Rick cried last week, he has to make it up to he-man viewers by expressing his grief by chopping down some zombies. Sorry Rick, we'll never forget that you were the pretty boy from Love, Actually that made everyone with ovaries swoon with those signs. The manlier thing to do would have been to help everyone deal with the aftermath and the baby. Could we love Daryl more? No. He saved the baby, gave her the first bottle, and...named her? We hope Lil' Ass Kicker sticks. At first, we thought the zombie Rick had found was Lori and the bullet didn't do its job. But then he stabbed it in the stomach, which probably means it was a zombie that had eaten Lori's remains. Nasty. This show is having trouble topping the bloated zombie in the well (as far as grossing us out goes). We could not love Michonne more. EW the Governor's yucky daughter!! That was sick. This episode was anything but boring, just like the rest of this season.
Episode grade: B+

Revenge- Penance
Things are too convoluted on this show. Conrad should have been killed off a long time ago. Someone finds out which Amanda is the real one, and he isn't even shocked enough for it to feel satisfying. Mason thought Emily and Amanda were lovers? We wish he had just jumped to the right conclusion immediately. This show is stalling for time. Nolan proves his devotion to Amanda; Daniel proves he isn't useless. We are so bored with both Padma and Ashley at this point. Kara the mom amounted to nothing. Amanda is taking way too long to get revenge. But none of our complaints thus far matter, because Aiden is back in with Amanda. He was snogging her at the end, as he would probably say. Yay for hotness!
Episode grade: C+

Dexter- Chemistry
The big development for us was LaGuerta associating Dexter's name with the Bay Harbor Butcher. After Deb dropped the subject, LaGuerta is probably wondering why. What a twist! The other big development was Deb asking Dexter to kill someone. Unfortunately, it's Hannah, and we all know how that's going to go from the previews. Poor Deb. One of the fun things about Dexter is that he lives and works near us. One of us actually lives ten minutes away from where the criminals kept Nadia for a while. It's fun to hear references to the familiar, and the show is true to Miami. Poor Price. That death came out of nowhere. Deb has the worst luck with men. Dexter needs to be careful. If he sticks around Hannah for long enough, she will probably try to kill him too.
Episode grade: B+

Once Upon a Time, Walking Dead, Revenge, and Dexter

By Kristin Dos Santos from Los Angeles, California, United States (Image:Prison Break Cast.jpg [1]) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Hello creatures. We've been having internet problems, but we're back.

Once Upon a Time- Tallahassee
Not only did Hurley's presence this week remind us of LOST, so did the episode title. One of those writers must have spent a lot of time in Tally...God knows why. Bleck. Go to Gainesville instead, readers. When Hurley thumped out as the giant, we cackled. There's nothing fearsome about that guy, even if they make him larger. We were impressed that Hook could climb the beanstalk. We didn't feel bad for him in the end. Supposedly, he will be released soon, and he was also being a total sexual harasser during the entire adventure. Emma is so stupid. She should have had Hurley hold Hook for a month, not ten hours. He's going to catch up and become a problem. We liked Henry and Aurora's identical scary dreams. Nothing like dark prophecy to spice up a fantasy.

We finally got the backstory on Henry's dad, Neal, who August convinced to abandon her for her own good. Neal really loved Emma! What was in the box?!! Is this show going to pull a Pulp Fiction and not tell us? We're pretty sure it was neither a soul nor gold. This episode was good for Emma's character development. We got to see why she is the way that she is (annoying). She was jilted, abandoned, and spent time in prison. They did a good job making Jennifer Morrison look younger. That's about as good as it's going to get. We are left to ponder who we ship Emma with: Hook, August, or Neal? We're thinking Hook would be the most interesting. Or Rumpy's son.
Episode grade: B

The Walking Dead- The Killer Within
No zombie baby, but there were major deaths this week. No one likes the wives on AMC (except for some people liking Megan Draper), so everyone should be happy that Lori is gone, right? We're really not. Her death was sad sad sad. Her speech to Carl almost got us tearing up. Rick's reaction was devastating. The first half of this episode was dull, but it ended like a finale. Heck yes. This season is doing everything it can to win us back. We liked the show starting to alternate between Andrea and the original group. Not a whole lot happened with Andrea and Michonne though. That was set up for later. Andrea is going to regret her little crush on the Governor. Is it a crush? Michonne is predictably smart. RIP T-Dog, who has been replaced by a new black man, Oscar. He seems cool. Carl having to shoot his mom's body was messed up. We're in a terrible mood from watching that, but we'll admit the episode was pretty good.
Episode grade: B+

Revenge- Illusion
Aiden and Amanda go to the Grayson wedding together. While Daniel dances with Amanda, Aiden and Ashley share a dance. Now, we know the normal viewer was watching Daniel regret the end of his relationship with Amanda, but since we are so focused on the new hottie, we sensed an odd closeness between Aiden and Ashley. They are both British. They are both sneaky as hell. They are totally in cahoots. We know it. That's what's going down. Because you know this show wouldn't spend so much time on boring Ashley unless she has a secret of her own. Aiden tries to get Amanda to trust her again, and looks like he's going in for a kiss. He's all "I've changed." She tells him to leave. Is she a real person? With, like, a libido and everything? Doubtful.
Episode grade: B

Dexter- Do the Wrong Thing
When did LaGuerta turn into a brilliant cop? So inconvenient for everyone and WE LOVE IT. Oh Quinn...you had other options here. Helping Isaak get released was a new low, but at least it was to rescue Nadia from human trafficking. We hate human trafficking. Deb dating a true crime writer is also a dumb move. This episode suffered because Dexter's investigation into Hannah took too long. We knew she was a killer already. We didn't need to watch Dexter confirm it for that long. Hannah kills people rather than get attached to them. That's a new spin on intimacy issues. We've got intimacy issues of our own, but damn...they aren't that rough. We're not sure if we ship Hannah and Dexter, but we're just so happy Dexter's love interest this season isn't Deb.
Episode grade: B

Back to blogging: Once Upon a Time, Dexter, Homeland, The Walking Dead, Revenge (x2)

By Keith McDuffee (Michael C. Hall) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Homeland- Q&A
When Breaking Bad ends, this is the show we will tell people is "the best show on TV." So, if you're not watching it, we don't know what you're waiting for. If you're on this blog, you obviously like TV. Get after it. For those of us lucky enough to turn in last night, we were treated to a well-acted, eventful hour. We weren't nuts over Carrie's overt confessions of love. For some reason, we like when that love is angsty, physical, and unspoken. It's kind of a soap-opera, contrived element to have Carrie be in love with this terrorist, her main suspect.

We also didn't like Finn running over the woman and leaving. If he had stopped, his daddy would have just paid the woman's medical bills. But hitting and then running is a big deal. Idiot. Most of the episode took place in the interrogation room. We were salivating during the whole thing. We couldn't believe the show was giving us these moments this soon in the series, let alone the season. Carrie did perfectly, and we were right to like the genius, cutie new guy, Peter Quinn. Can Carrie fall in love with him instead? He's way more deserving. We like that Carrie attempted to turn Brody instead of wear him down. This was another game changer.
Episode grade: A+

Revenge- "Intuition" and "Forgiveness"
In last week's episode, Aiden sneaks off to confront Kara, but she knocks him out and ties him up. It takes him most of the episode to free himself, but he's hot, so that's okay. He gets back to Amanda's just in time to hug her when she's crying, because she's upset. In other news, Nolan isn't gay. What. In this week's episode, Amanda pushes Aiden away, so he conspires with Daniel to oust Conrad and make Daniel the boss. Hopefully this leads to more adorable fighting, rife with sexual tension.
Episode grades: B+ and C+

Once Upon a Time- The Doctor
Whale is revealed! And no one would ever have guessed that it was Dr. Frankenstein, right? Did they just plan that for Halloween? That's not even a fairytale. We don't mind this show dipping from different pools though. It's can't just be all Disney. We already have Disney, and those stories are pretty great. We've got a "man of science, man of magic" dynamic going here? That was more interesting on LOST. It was awesome how Daniel ripped Whale's arm off. Take that, family friendly limitations! It's time for this show to get a little oogier.

This episode wasn't the norm for this show, and we're not sure how we feel about that. We're really liking Hook. He could get to be an interesting grey-area character. He's capable of love, but also evil. Those are the best guys in entertainment. Make him Byronic, show. We don't like that Regina is trying to not use magic at all. Magic is just a tool; it's not evil in itself, even in the universe of this show. What matters is what you do with it.
Episode grade: B

Dexter- Swim Deep
Well, we have another good one. Hannah enjoys murder. Maybe she's the right match for Dexter after all? Unfortunately, she doesn't kill for righteousness, and it looks like she's going to be Dexter's next target. Naw, he'll probably start out hunting her and end up banging her. We could use a season of Dexter trying to reform a fellow serial killer. That's something we haven't yet seen. We like Quinn, but it may be time for him to die. He's sticking his neck into danger and taking money again. This show has too many side cops. We can't believe Dexter landed Isaak behind bars. We love when our main characters act cleverly. Isn't it annoying when characters get themselves into trouble by thinking beneath their expected intelligence level?

Poor LaGuerta should have kept hating and distrusting Deb. Good news for us though...actually, we think it would be cool if the show ended with Dexter getting caught. It was a great moment when Deb emphatically declared Doakes to be a good man. She really knows. The cursing in the elevator was hilarious and so Deb. Her behavior this season has gotten her back in our good books. We're so happy about this season. We can now forget last year ever happened. Nothing important really happened either. If anyone watches it, they can just skip last year.
Episode grade: A

The Walking Dead- The Call from the Governor
Speaking of show comebacks, after two years of stereotypical characters, annoying kids, boring talky episodes, and no direction, this show has become what we want. It's taking steps toward being a genuinely great show. This stuff with the Governor could not be better. He's creepy, evil, power-hungry, possibly complicated and loving (his picture of his family) and he KEEPS FREAKING ZOMBIE HEADS IN AQUARIUMS IN A ROOM. Splitting into two groups is good for the show because when things get too bleak over in the main group, we can go into this totally different, equally interesting storyline with Andrea and Michonne.

We're glad we got an explanation as to why Michonne toted the zombies around. Michonne is still shrouded in mystery, which is good. We hope the backstory is worth the wait. We love her already, even though we know almost nothing about her except that she's bad ass. Soooo Merle's back. He's probably still racist, but he didn't act racist toward his fellow black soldiers and Michonne. He's being charming (for Merle), but we bet he's in for a bloody death this season. This season hasn't had a stinker of an episode yet. We're starting to trust it. We're glad we started watching it again.
Episode grade: A

We watched Once Upon a Time, Dexter, The Walking Dead, and then Homeland. Revenge shouldn't have had to follow that.

Once Upon a Time- The Crocodile
In the first ten minutes, we knew we were going to like this one, despite its characterization problems. Belle, Rumpy, Rumpy's wife, cute preschool Bae, and guyliner-wearing Captain Hook. It was nice to see Helena Peabody from The L Word. She's so pretty. Her character, Milah, didn't totally gel for us. We liked that she regretted leaving Bae, but we need to know why she married Rumpy in the first place, and we also need a flashback episode with her where she isn't so heartless toward people she's not in lust with. Our confusion at Milah's behavior is nothing compared to our head scratching over Belle's father's antics. You can't just have people act crazy for no reason and have us believe them as characters. We don't think it was cowardly for Rumpy to turn down the duel (even though he's been cowardly in other episodes). It was smart, because if he had lost, who would raise Bae? We're glad Belle finally grew a pair. Librarian is the perfect job for her. This episode was a clever twist on the Captain Hook story, introduced a good new antagonist, and entertained us. If only Moe and Milah had acted like humans.
Episode grade: B

Dexter- Run
We didn't like the romantic feelings between Deb and Dex resurfacing, but seeing Deb bait that criminal until he confessed made us love her again. Deb was being ridiculous about the Rita stuff, and Deb's mostly upset about Dex because his condition means that he might not be able to love her. That forced suicide was so sad, but such a gripping scene. We also loved when Dexter was being chased through the rigged building by Speltzer. We are dying to know more about Hannah. The baddies are closing in. We love that Dexter has grown out of his blood slides, and Deb was "glad" that Dexter killed Speltzer. We are so happy with this show lately. What a comeback.
Episode grade: B+

Homeland- New Car Smell
WHOA. This is the action version of The Vampire Diaries. Whenever you think this show is going to drag something out, it hauls out gamechangers in the middle of seasons. This might be the biggest one so far. The previews for next week have us squealing, but let's talk about this week. Carrie is back in the game, hopefully permanently. We love the hot new guy, Peter. He's blunt and upfront, yet sympathetic and perceptive so far. Carrie will not back down, ever. Confronting him against orders was so right-on, and yet such an unwise move. We loved it though. Dana and Finn are perfect. Finally, a Finn we can get behind. This show is not afraid to change itself, move forward, and tell new stories, rather than repeat itself and keep us waiting for big, gripping scenes.
Episode grade: A+

The Walking Dead- Sick
How hilarious was it that the inmates didn't know half the world was wiped out? Hershel's daughters crying over him broke our hearts a little, so we're glad he lived. We're hoping he doesn't mope around, get all depressed about his leg, and drag everything down. It was disgusting when Carol practiced the C-Section on a walker. We guess that makes them useful for something. We're not Lori haters, believe it or not. We're kind of over people calling the AMC wives "bitches" and wishing they were dead. We're glad Rick was nice to her. It's weird to see Carl all independent and capable now, especially since he still speaks with that stilted, annoying tone so prevalent in child actors on TV. This season hasn't been boring yet! Yay!
Episode grade: B+

Revenge
We tried to watch this right after that great Homeland episode and only got 15 minutes into it. We think this show has lost its week-to-week status here. We will still watch it (it's worth watching), but we will do it five episodes at a time/let them pile up, and we'll talk about the season at the end. One of us hates this show and one of us won't blog it weekly alone.

Dexter- Buck the System

By PopCultureGeek (Jennifer Carpenter) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

All hail the lizard brain! We actually get to see what happens when Dexter doesn't kill. Seeing his slow meltdown and visions of killing everyone around him lets us know that this isn't something Deb can cure. We knew that already, but it's interesting to see the failure in detail. Plus, who wouldn't love to see Masuka get stabbed in the neck by a pen? He's so annoying. Not as annoying as Louis though.

Finally, finally Dexter makes real moves against Louis, getting him dumped and fired. We love Jamie's reaction to Louis cheating on her. It sucks that she has to worry about STIs. This guy is so not worth it. "It's not cheating if you paid for it!" Nice try. Louis is still trouble though. He turned the baddies onto Dexter. At least he's dead now. We hated that guy. We can't believe he turned out to be useful to the plot. Very nice, show.

Yvonne from Chuck! She looks even prettier on this show, if that's possible. There was chemistry between Hanna and Dexter, and we approve, even though there's a lot going on this season already. It could help keep Deb and Dexter from hooking up. Thank God that seems to have been dropped. It's like the show is actually listening to its groaning fans!

The conversations between Dexter and Deb continue to rule. We love that Nadia came clean to Quinn too. That was a surprise. We were sick of seeing him screwed over in the romance department. The show never uses him properly, and giving him a role to play in one of the show's biggest story arcs is inspired.

We are so petrified of getting murdered on a date, so the baddie of the week creeped us out. The end was actually intense. The poor girl not making it went a long way toward convincing Deb that her brother's extracurricular activities are necessary. She hates it, but she gets it. Their sibling relationship has to change, and that's fine with us. We like the honesty much better.

We haven't been bored or irritated at all this season! Is this show back?!! For real? We've hardly ever seen recoveries like this. Usually when a good show starts getting bad, it stays bad. Exceptions include Scrubs (got lame around season six, but turned in a good season eight, which we consider to be the real final season/don't talk to us about the reboot), Grey's Anatomy (recovering from ghost sex, the ferryboat thing, and Gizzie), possibly Glee since this season has been better than the last two so far, and, now, Dexter. We're hoping Supernatural can pull off a similar resurrection.

This episode was tightly plotted, entertaining, fast-paced, and well-acted. It dispensed with the Rehab By Deb plotline, and set up a lot of interesting things. Deb finding out about Dexter was exactly what this show needed.
Episode grade: A

Once Upon a Time, Dexter, Revenge, and Homeland

By Kristin Dos Santos (Flickr) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Once Upon a Time- We Are Both
If the characters leave Storybrooke, they lose their memories of their real selves? Wow, that IS terrible news. Emma kind of sucks at curse breaking even more than we initially thought. We're glad August is alive though. We always liked him. We really want Graham back, but we don't think we are ever getting that. It was stupid of the characters to want to leave. We don't think that's a realistic reaction, even if they are scared of Regina.

Will there be any consequences to Regina using magic like Rumple hinted there would be? It was smart of her to keep the grimoire. You never know what might come up. Sadly, it was probably more due to vestiges of evilness than wisdom. Regina looked great in the black dress she was working. Regina wants redemption. That's fine with us. There are plenty of baddies and potential baddies left who are more fearsome than she is.

We were literally just thinking two days ago that we wished that little girl would come back to this show and mimic Ginnifer Goodwin again. Too bad she was only in one scene and has clearly grown a lot in a year. When we realized this was a Queen flashback episode, we were disappointed. We wanted a sideways episode. We guess the Queen's story's second half wasn't told yet, and it needed to be, especially since Cora is back in the leads' lives.

It looks like Rumple is upset because he can't leave town and look for his son. No sight of Belle this week, which is weird. Charming called David out on being weak and confused, which was good because he was frustrating last season to the point of being unhot and sleezy. How dumb was it for David to promise Rumple that he wouldn't interfere with Rumple's actions? That's going to come up to bite him later. It was good to see Snow and Emma at the end. Mulan is a dick. She couldn't even listen to them before treating them badly? This episode wasn't as good as last week's, but it wasn't bad either.
Episode grade: B

Dexter- Sunshine and Frosty Swirl
It's good that Deb sat and listened to the whole story right away. We thought she was going to run away and Dexter would have to track her down and tell her about his life at the very end of the episode. This season is speeding things up and really helping the show catch our interest again. We loved Deb's line, "I am the worst f***ing detective in the world." Her reaction was good. They debated the merits of Dexter's coping mechanisms, and Dexter got punched in the face which, to be fair, he deserved.

We've been liking Deb a lot more since she became lieutenant. She's not even annoying us here when she's naively trying to undo nearly 40 years of Harry's hard work. There's no way Deb can save Dexter. This episode showed that Dexter can resist his urges as long as he believes there is hope for himself in the long term. His hope was shattered in the great last scene though. Deb should have taken Dexter in after he gave her permission. She loves him though. This arrangement can't last long. It's too co-dependent to even be a good idea.

Greene hates Dexter for the dumbest reason. Too bad Dexter didn't kill him. Greene is such an annoying creeper. There's nothing we love more than Quinn and Batista shutting down that strip club every day. We forgot that LaGuerta and Doakes were close. She now knows the Bay Harbor Butcher was probably never caught. Where is this going? The tension is high this season, and the show isn't wasting much time with the side characters. It's committed to a) problems for Dexter and b) setting up the big bad Miami Metro will be going after. We're so afraid it's going to get bad again, but we're happy for now.
Episode grade: A-

Revenge- Resurrection
One of the rich kids reached out to Declan, and Declan couldn't at least be friendly. He's the worst. Then the rich kid turned out to suck too. Nolan forgetting Padma is proof he's really gay. She's gorgeous. We like that he offered her the CFO job. He's such a maverick. In real life, that would be a bad move though. We can't believe Amanda lied to Emily about the test results. Victoria is back where she belongs. That didn't take long. Charlotte continues to avoid annoying us this season. We like that the mother stuff was tabled until the end. We aren't interested in another show that postpones the meeting of some mother. We need to see her in the present, not just in flashbacks in order to care.
Episode grade: B

Homeland- Beirut is Back
Who else loves that Saul gave Carrie a hug when he first saw her? We wondered if their first meeting would be icy because of all the craziness last season and Carrie's latest little rebellion. We were thinking, "Carrie needs to realize she was right about Brody soon, for her own sanity." Saul, Carrie is not listening to you. Ever. Just roll with it. The shooters chasing Carrie in the second half was intense and not something we've seen this show do much of so far.

Dana is one of our favorite characters, even now that she's acting out more. We like the emerging subplot where she is friends (and maybe more?) with Finn Walden. Jessica needs to become more sympathetic. Her love Mike is back, and he's obnoxious even though he happens to be right. We can't believe Brody saved Nazir. Alright, we can. But whoa. He's so toast when he gets caught. Speaking of: DID THAT JUST HAPPEN? In episode two of the season?!! Saul knows Carrie was right. Unfortunately, they gave a lot away in the preview for next week. It looks gnarly.
Episode grade: A-

Dexter- Are You...?

Keith McDuffee [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

What happened:  Dexter momentarily convinces Deb that he snapped and killed Travis in a weird way due to trauma from Rita's death and the need for self-defense. Deb helps Dexter make the death look like a suicide, but LaGuerta finds the blood slide Dexter accidentally left behind. Officer Anderson and a stripper are murdered by a foreigner, and Dexter tracks the murderer down and kills him. Unfortunately for Miami, the foreigner has a boss who is still alive. Meanwhile, Deb figures out that Dexter is lying, breaks into his apartment, and finds all his serial killer paraphernalia. She asks him, "Are you a serial killer?" He says, "Yes."

What we thought: After a sucky last season, we are hesitant about this one, but it's good to see our favorite serial killer back, especially now that Deb FINALLY knows his secret. Can this quench the ill-advised love fest? Have the writers heard feedback from fans almost universally screaming, "NO NO NOOOO"? There's no sign of Deb's attraction so far, but it could crop up again.

The episode should have opened with the aftermath of the church sighting. A fakeout flashforward is hardly ever a strong decision. Everyone was waiting for Deb's reaction. Even though it wasn't a long wait, it made us feel like the show was toying with us and about to have another time-wasting season.

Deb's too smart to buy your story, Dexter. It was a little boring watching her solve the mystery for most of the episode, but we're glad she didn't believe it was a one-time thing. It's good for the show to have her know her brother is a sociopath and killer. The show has dragged that out long enough.

Another piece of good news is the presence of Ray Stevenson as the Big Bad. We liked him in Rome and think he's an exceptional actor who doesn't get as much work because he isn't hot. But we are loving the grey hair on him. It's taking him up a few notches on the hotness scale. If his part is written competently, he should be able to pull off whatever they give to him.

We also liked seeing Viktor from Joss Whedon's Dollhouse as the murderer of the week, if only briefly. We thought he was cute in Dollhouse. Not so much here, but it's nice to see him working. Overall, this episode set up some good things, especially with Deb's new pickle. We're pretty sure the season is going to ruin it though.

Episode grade: B+

Dexter Season Six Discussion

Dexter had its finale on Sunday night, so now it’s time for us to look back on the entire season and tell you what we think worked and didn’t work. We think this was Dexter’s weakest season. We don’t think it was terrible TV, because we watched and enjoyed it, for the most part, but last season was better and season four was DEFINITELY better. This season just seemed unnecessary in terms of the show’s growth and the characters’ journeys. At least season five, the Lumen season, stretched Deb and Dexter, even though it was muted compared to the Trinity killer stuff that came before it.

What worked: Debra Morgan as Lieutenant
It’s nice when Deb grows AND has something to do. We liked seeing her in charge, because she always acted like she was anyway. The job fit her and she deserved it. She did a good job. Watching her curse people out while she was in charge made her seem authoritative, rather than whiny.

What didn’t work: That the religion wasn’t edgy enough
The show tried to tackle religion and didn’t say anything new. It didn’t even say something old in a new way. We expected Dexter to push buttons a little more, but the season was just lightly religion-themed, rather than something that could make anyone think. We guess that’s fine if you just want to be entertained rather than be made uncomfortable. We always want people to bring on the discomfort.

What worked: Mos Def
Mos Def’s touching, courageous character and his portrayal added to the show, because it showed the good side of faith. We had the crazy side of faith with DDK, but with Brother Sam, we saw how faith can change lives for the better. It is one of the things, if not the only thing, that can take a hardened criminal or killer and give his heart a 180. We would argue that after Mos Def died, the season took a turn for the sucky. He was keeping the season good. Without him, we were lost.

What didn’t work: Masuka’s first intern
The first one was so stupid. The second one just hasn’t paid off yet. We’re annoyed that we have to wait until the next season to see what his deal was. This season, it just felt like he was wasting our time.

What worked: DDK at the beginning
In the beginning of the season, DDK went all Se7en with their killings, making them both creative and meaningful. Putting the snakes in the man’s belly and recreating the four horsemen was nasty fun. If only all of their killings had been that disgusting and jarring.

What didn’t work: DDK at the end
Neither of those actors are remotely scary or charismatic. They don’t command the screen, and that’s something you need in a Big Bad. Then they had that ridiculous twist that we all saw coming. Ok, some people didn’t, but they obviously haven’t seen enough TV yet. Can we all just put the “HE WAS DEAD THE WHOLE TIME” and “it was all in his head THE WHOLE TIME” twists to bed? It was great (and pretty surprising) when The Sixth Sense did the dead thing. That’s still one of our favorite movies for the jolts, the acting, the emotional depth, and the twist. But it’s over, people. And Fight Club had the best “he was crazy the whole time” twist. If you can’t beat it, leave it alone.

What worked: Debra Morgan finding out that Dexter is a killer
That last scene was incredible and so was Deb’s face. After the Lumen season, we knew that Deb was going to find out Dexter’s secret eventually, but we didn’t see it coming in the last seconds of the finale. What a cliffhanger! We’ve really been waiting for this, so we’re elated that the show finally delivered it unto its fans. Granted, it should have happened at the very end of the Lumen season. We felt like we were treading water through this whole DDK season. Here’s hoping Dexter’s secret will kill off that pesky crush. Speaking of…

What didn’t work: Debra loves Dexter
UGH. We’ve been over this, but as people with siblings, IF OUR SIBLINGS TOLD US THEY LOVED US, WE WOULD FREAK THE F OUT. Gross gross gross. And it wouldn’t matter if it somehow came out that we weren’t blood related. Just growing up as siblings ruins it. Deb should know this, the skanky, twisted ho. The icing on the worst cake ever was when Deb screamed overdramatically to her therapist, “I finally told my brother that I love him and he said he loves me back!… I’m in love with him!” This just doesn’t fit the show. They already had a neat sibling relationship, and now that’s ruined. This whole plotline would have to have been handled perfectly for it to work, and it wasn’t. It came out of nowhere and wasn’t hinted at in previous years (or even in the first half of THIS season). We could have gotten behind it if the writers had the sense to make it believable. But they didn’t. And we are just disturbed.

What worked: Keeping the side characters on the side
Hey, guess what this season didn’t waste our time with? Batista’s love life. We felt like all the characters we didn’t care about didn’t get huge plots this year, and that’s awesome.

What didn’t work: The psychology
This never works on Dexter, but watching Dex about to sacrifice himself for his son in the finale had us rolling our eyes. What makes psychopaths what they are is that they are unable to really love another person. Dexter often pushes this. He’s like a guy with Aspergers who kills, not a real sociopath. It’s just…such a fantasy. Obviously we don’t know what psychopaths can feel or whether they can care about another person to a significant level, but we are pretty sure that Dexter Morgan crosses a line of reality. In the first season, it was believable. Maybe the future seasons, procreation, and marriage to Rita/dating Lumen stretched him? Meh. We’re not fully buying it, and that’s a problem.

What worked: The devil on Dexter’s shoulder and passing light to Trinity’s son
One of the effects of Brother Sam and Dexter’s brush with the light of faith was that he was able to help Trinity’s son and tell him to forgive himself. We also liked the brother coming back to push Dexter further toward the dark side. It was a nice contrast to the angel on Dexter’s shoulder, Harry. Now we are glad it only lasted for one episode, but it was a good idea for the season’s theme. The religion thing also reaffirmed for Dexter that he has a purpose in the world and that he brings light to it, in his own way. Dexter giving some grace to Trinity’s son was great for us to see, because that’s what Christian faith is all about.

What didn’t work: The rest of that Trinity episode
It sounds like a revisit to the Trinity stuff would be great, but it really wasn’t. That episode, overall, was one of the series’ worst. We liked about two scenes and felt like they needed to happen (the things described above), but the rest of the stuff needed to be more interesting. That whole episode just needed to be retooled.

What worked: Crazy Quinn
Quinn going all drinky and crazy in the aftermath of his breakup gave him something to do and made us feel bad for him. Clearly, he is still part of the show even though he is not linked to Deb anymore. For all you Quinn haters, don’t you wish he had ended up with Deb now? Anything is better than Deb and Dexter.

What didn’t work: Batista didn’t die
We hate Batista. He’s just a waste of time.

What worked: Some of Dexter’s lines to Travis before Travis’ death
“You used God. It’s not the other way around.” Can someone please say this to Rick Perry?

What didn’t work: Most of that exchange
Before Dexter killed Travis, they had a hokey theological discussion that was too preachy, too cheesy, too weird, and about three minutes too long. At some point, we thought, “Are they STILL talking?” Pithy this was not. “I am a father, a son, a serial killer.” That was the ever-loving WORST.

We will still be watching next season, because we don't give up on a show that we've watched for six years easily. But we hope that next season is better. After all, season two annoyed us and what happened to Doakes was just SO WRONG, but we kept watching, and eventually we got the Trinity season. Hopefully the show learns that the strengths of Dexter lie in its main characters and its Big Bads and casts accordingly.

Finale grade: B-
Season grade: C

Dexter- Ugh

Why did we have 500+ views today, lol? What are you people here to read? Once again, there will be nothing substantial until the 15th.

But since you're already here: Is anyone else so mad at Dexter for this new Deb thing? We think it's bad enough to ruin the show. That dream made us want to die.

Dexter, Homeland, Once Upon a Time

Homeland - Crossfire
We are so glad that this show finally addressed a reason for Brody turning traitor. That has been the weak spot of the show for us. Do terrorists really have arguments that would turn an American soldier? Could it really be just because a terrorist was nice to Brody? Was it just religion? No. It’s because they killed his pupil, the cutest little kid in the world, and covered it up. Nice play, show. “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” was never so adorable. We're not mad that Brody's allegiances have been revealed so early. The show has built up enough goodwill that we trust it.
Episode grade: B
Once Upon a Time - That Still Small Voice
What happened in the fairy world was touching and felt like a real fairy tale. There was even some morbidity (with the dolls) that the show has been missing thus far. We loved the Jiminy Cricket backstory. But why couldn't he get away from his parents? The real world storyline was less interesting. It was a tamer version of what happened to Jack and Charlie in LOST’s early episodes. Mehhhh. The Prince Charming/Mary Margaret stuff was really sweet though, and we like that she resigned from volunteering. He will have to chase her down. It’s always nice to be able to root for a woman who isn’t about to steal someone else’s husband.
Episode grade: B
Dexter - Get Gellar
OM MY GOODNESS, WE CAN’T BELIEVE IT! Oh wait, we totally can, because we called that ages ago. We are disappointed in the writers for doing something so unoriginal and something that was so easy to call. Even the blogger who never guesses things guessed this one. Ugh.
Episode grade: C-

Checking in on Dexter - Btw, the show has been renewed for seasons 7 and 8

"Sin of Omission"

Deb - Annoying or totally correct about everything?
Debra Morgan is sick of Dexter being emotionally distant, which is something she’s gonna have to get over, because he’s a sociopath. Debra found out that Dexter went to Nebraska and didn’t tell her, which she sees as “a lie.” This makes her curse even more than usual, which we find hilarious. Lots of people hate the character for that. We think it’s about time that she pay more attention to Dexter though. She’s a detective who is supposedly good at her job who also hangs out with a serial killer multiple times. FINALLY she’s fed up with Dexter disappearing for “me time,” and never telling her a damn thing.

We miss Brother SamSome people are really disappointed in this season. They say that the Big Bads aren’t scary and there’s too much focus on Deb. We think Brother Sam was the obvious highlight of the season so far. We like that he is bringing out another side in Dexter. No one is pure, 100% evil. Developing Dexter’s “light” side after we’ve seen him grapple with his darkness for years is interesting to us. He reached Travis and Trinity’s son because of the things Sam told us. The nasty, bloody Bible was icing on the cake of Sam’s gifts. RIP, bro.

Travis is imagining Professor GellarWe’ve thought this for a while, but after this episode especially, we think it is very possible that Travis is making up Gellar in his head. Travis is clearly insane. We haven’t seen any reason that he would follow Gellar in the first place unless Gellar is elsewhere and Travis’ brain has fooled him into thinking his old professor is guiding him. We have an “End of Fight Club” situation here, and we don’t like it. Who else actually sees Gellar except for Travis? Even Dexter didn’t get to see him. Are we really supposed to believe that ancient-as-hell Gellar jumped out of a second-story window? The only weird thing is that would mean Travis chained himself up, which would mean that the show needs to explain how he would have gotten out of that mess. Key secretly in the pocket? Still, come on! Gellar’s totally a figment.

LaGuerta, when will you die?LaGuerta has been annoying from day one, and now she is covering up for the John who gave the dead hooker CPR. At first, we reluctantly agreed with LaGuerta that if the John didn’t murder the hooker, that case did not take precedent with Miami on edge. But now, we realize that LaGuerta should have been the whore in Gellar’s tableau. Also, how disappointing was that many-headed alligator creature? It should have been much nastier. Sad about Travis’ sister though. It looks like Deb might be Gellar’s next target.

ReligionWe’re digging all the religion this season. The confession to the old, demented priest was almost sweet. Good casting on the old man there. It would take a crazy priest to absolve Dexter, but absolved Dexter is. Possibly. The blog’s resident Catholic didn’t write this post, so she might call BS if she ever catches up on this show. Dexter reads the Bible and uses a choice verse to let Travis know that the sin of omission is still a sin. It’s the Bible’s version of “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” We agree. This season is rife with moral thought and shades of grey. It’s not the deepest thing we’ve ever seen/read, but it’s deep for TV.

Miscellaneous
We have to give this season credit for focusing on Dexter, Deb, and baddies, not annoying side characters. Still, they get short scenes. Quinn got drunk at a strip club with Masuka and tried to propose to one of the dancers. We really need for him to get over Deb already. Or die. Because pathetic Quinn is bumming us the heck out. Batista tells Puppy Dog Intern that Jamie isn’t ready to settle down and “sees a lot of guys.” We’re sure Jamie will appreciate that. We could do without Batista AND LaGuerta at this point in the show. Batista is just not interesting, and LaGuerta is too much of a witch with a “b.”

This season isn't bad, but we haven't been thrilled for a second. You need to hire a terrifying/terrific actor to play your Big Bad, show. Lithgow is what made the Trinity season great.

Episode grade: C+

An interesting affair, Dexter nearly forgives, Will might get disbarred, best kiss of the year, Taylor's son, and hoarders.

Homeland - “The Good Soldiers”
Brody finally punches his best friend for sleeping with his wife. Then he goes right off and sleeps with Carrie. Can you believe it? The encounter lets Carrie know that Brody is really good at taking polygraphs. Did Saul slip the terrorist the razor blade? THAT would be interesting. On any other show, the new affair would be tawdry and silly. On this show, it’s intense and psychologically sick. We love it.

Episode grade: A-

Dexter - “Just Let Go”
Who knew this Brother Sam thing would actually push Dexter even further to the darkness? He has a new person sitting on his shoulder, like his ghost dad. It’s his amoral serial killer brother. Dexter now believes that his dark passenger runs the show after he took revenge on Brother Sam’s killer. Brother Sam’s death made one of us tear up. When he told Dexter that he could see Dexter’s darkness, but he could see his light too, we got choked up. We kind of feel like that’s what God says to people. Brother Sam was the real deal. He had wanted Dexter to deliver a message of forgiveness. Dexter tried, but when the killer wasn't contrite, Dexter decided to off him. It's Dexter, so we'd really have it no other way. Anyway, it’s going to really rev this season up to see Dexter go off the rails and fight his established rules. His snapping and drowning of the murderer in the same lake where the murderer was baptized was amazing. We’re glad Travis let the girl go, but we are even more glad that Travis and Gellar aren’t the only big bads in town, because they aren’t that scary. The Ice Truck Killer is better.

Episode grade: A-

The Good Wife - “Executive Order 13224”
Peter goes after Will for a past indiscretion that could really hurt his firm and cause him to lose his license. Client trust accounts are no joke. Alicia is almost prosecuted for protecting attorney/client privilege, but she gets a good lawyer of her own. This episode wasn’t the show’s best. We had a hard time getting into it, it felt fragmented, and we didn’t feel like the case got enough attention. However, we liked the guy who investigated Alicia. That was an interesting, fun little character. There wasn't enough Eli Gold either.
Episode grade: B-

How I Met Your Mother - “Disaster Averted”
The gang tells Kevin the fun story about how they survived the August hurricane together. Marshall delivered two slaps to Barney and got two more, in exchange for Barney being allowed to remove the ducky tie. He is about to meet Nora’s parents, after all. But the real news of the night is that Barney and Robin totally kissed! More than kissed! Made out. And it was gorgeous. It wasn’t a flashback either. We kind of feel bad for Kevin but not Nora. It’s half because she’s too pretty and half because she keeps trying to change Barney, and Robin likes Barney for who he is. We are huge Barney/Robin shippers, so we were squealing last night. The Marshall and Lily stuff was funny too. It’s been a while since that happened!
Episode grade: A-

Terra Nova - “Nightfall”
This was a B episode of a C+ show, meaning that it was better than usual, but it was still crappy compared to most of the things we watch. It started out slowly, even though there was a lot of action. Action isn’t necessarily interesting. There need to be high stakes and characters we care about. A meteor crashes and wipes out all the power and technology. Jim and Zoe get stuck underground and are out of the action. We get to hear Jim sing a song about spiders to Zoe. Maddy and Reynolds have their first date. Hunter gets operated on and tells Skye that he has feelings for her. Taylor forces Boylan to get the tech up and running. Mira and the Sixers heard dinosaurs into attacking Terra Nova and steal Mira’s box. Mira gives it to Taylor's son! The Taylor’s son stuff is the only reason to stick around, at this point
Episode grade: B

2 Broke Girls - “And Hoarder Culture”
Aww, Johnny. Say it ain’t so. He wronged our girl, Max, but he made up for it in the end. He needs to dump his hot, black, British girlfriend and get with Max, ASAP, but we understand and appreciate that he doesn’t want to be a jerk. Just because he likes Max doesn’t mean that he has to leave his current relationship. Meanwhile, Caroline gets paid to organize the apartment of a hoarder. Max is enthused by this. We like seeing Max that happy every once-in-a-while. The too-mean, depressing Max hasn’t been seen in weeks! We love it. We are also sighing with relief that the show has gotten better in the past couple of weeks. We predicted that it had potential, and we are glad that we weren’t wrong. And not just because we hate to be wrong.
Episode grade: B+

Dexter: “All the darkness that you think you got inside you? All it takes is a little bit of light to keep it at bay. Believe me, I know."- Sam

“The Angel of Death”

With a title like this, we should have seen a major death coming, but we were still surprised. Brother Sam actually was a good shepherd, and like first good shepherd before him, he had to pay the ultimate price. We can’t wait to see Dexter’s reaction to this. It would do this show some good to have Dexter go a little crazy with his revenge, but we don’t think Brother Sam’s death will be enough to send Mr. Cool off the rails the way we want to see. Some are doubting that Sam is actually dead though. We don't know...he was shot plenty of times. Some are STILL doubting that Brother Sam's faith is genuine. We think it is.

Ladies, you actually do have to give the engagement back if you break things off. That’s the usual legal rule. However, if he dumped you after the engagement agreement, you can keep it. If it’s mutual, you give it back. It’s only fair, right? Deb and Quinn are starting to treat each other like humans again. We like that. It shows class.

Travis and Gellar were searching the streets of Miami for their next victim: someone to play the part of The Whore of Babylon. Mostly they pointed out drunk chicks in skimpy dresses, walking around late at night. This must have put a shudder into every girl in Miami, because what girl, even a virgin, has been to Miami and not worn a little dress and gotten drunk? They hit one with a car and shoved her into the trunk. Too bad she was drunk, or she would have been able to find the release cable. That car looked cool enough to have one.

If you are shoved into a trunk, you can also kick out the rear lights and stick your hand out to signal to other cars. We’ve heard of people hitting women with cars and then jumping out and stealing their purses. That is a complete pussy move, because all this does is avoid a fair fight. WITH A GIRL. How lazy/cowardly can you be? Watch out for cars, ladies, whether you are drunk and whorish or not.

We chuckled when Dexter remarked that defacing a Bible must break some sort of rule. People can get superstitious with these things. Street preachers used to pass out little New Testaments on our college campus to people who didn’t really want them, and all of Ern’s atheist friends were too afraid to throw them away, as if they would go to hell for discarding them. They would give them to Ern, because Ern reads the Bible. But how many little New Testaments does anyone need?!! It’s called Goodwill, people.

We thought we saw a budding romance between Deb and Anderson, the new guy, because they are both so “no nonsense.” But it turns out that he is married, and sleeping with a married man is NOT something we want this show to put on the Deb character. We are starting to like her a lot more since she has become lieutenant. We were totally on Deb’s side in her fight with Jamie. Harrison is much too young to know what those pictures are of and recognize that they are horrible, even if he got a good look at them. Chillax, girl.

Quinn’s dalliance with Gellar’s old lover garnered him evidence that pretty much confirms Gellar is the man the cops are looking for. Quinn must be feeling pretty filthy right now. He shared a woman with this dude. Bleck. Also, even more shameful: Quinn didn’t seem to know who C.S. Lewis was. He’s dead to us. Dexter found Travis and nearly took him to a kill site, but when he found out that Travis was an accessory, unable to actually kill anyone, Dexter let Travis go. Watch out, Gellar. Or don’t. You’re gross and we want you to die.

Episode grade: B