And they start off with a guy who thinks screaming is singing. Awesome. Though in all fairness, Steven Tyler is a judge, so we can see where he might've thought that was a good idea. We're ignoring the next contestant, Christine McCaffrey, because no. She has a chipmunk voice and made us agree with Randy, which we don't enjoy. America Idol, we thought you were better this season.
Chelsee Oaks and Rob Bolin - exes who still duet. This should be interesting, especially since they're both getting through to Hollywood. We think Rob has the better voice, but she's adorable. Also, they sound really good together and had excellent song choices. JLo and Steven tried to get them back together, which was cute. We're definitely going to remember these two. There's an awkward bit after the judging with Chelsee's current boyfriend that was ... telling.
Next, we get the obligatory "Steven and Randy are dirty old men" segment. Ignoring that. Allen Lewis is hilarious and has the best laugh, but cannot sing. At least not by himself. Again, we agree with Randy; he probably would sound a lot better with a band. This whole agreeing with Randy thing better not become a pattern. The next girl is Stormi Henley. She was Miss Teen USA. Of course she was. She's gorgeous and very personable, but doesn't have a great voice. They put her through, though. We'll see.
Then, we have a gaggle of bad singers who we, fortunately, don't have to hear. Adrienne Beasley is a black woman who was adopted at the age of two by a white family, and they are all adorable. She doesn't have the best voice in the competition, but she gave us chills, which doesn't happen too often. Steven Tyler had some coherent comments, which Leeard greatly appreciated. Her dad is "tickled" that she made it through to Hollywood.
Someone screams some Chaka Khan at us for way too long and again, Randy is trying too hard to be the new Simon. When Steven Tyler is the voice of reason, you need to re-evaluate your decisions. A montage of bad singers follows, and one of them has to be told by Ryan that "it's just an audition". Can they make posters of that and hand it to everyone who walks out crying? Thank goodness we have Jackie Wilson next. Her voice is not at all what we were expecting, and it's great. She's going to Hollywood, obviously. And then she makes out with someone who looks like he could be her dad. Creepy. We're going to pretend that didn't happen, along with the next contestant. Younique is a cute girl, but slightly delusional.
They follow her up with three great guys. Leeard would buy Paul McDonald's cd right now. His version of "Maggie May" was wonderful. The next guy, Jimmie Allen, is very enthusiastic and enjoyable. The final one, Danny Pate, is great and got the judges into his song - an excellent move. All of them go through. The next Idol Sob Story is about Matt Dillard and his family, who have hosted over 700 special needs foster children. We like him as a person, but his voice wasn't as good as the previous three. He gets through, because apparently we don't have a vote.
They are hyping the final girl up so much. Lauren Alaina (ANOTHER 15 year old) started singing because of her cousin, who was diagnosed with a brain tumor three years ago. Three sob stories in one episode? Come on, Idol. This is the Season of Stories, apparently. Anyway, she's totally worth the hype and the sob story, because she's fantastic. Great, great voice and very exciting. She brings her family in and then sings "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" with Steven Tyler, which is her parents' song. It's pretty awesome as well.
Well, way to go, American Idol. You took an episode that was easily a B and made it an A with one girl.