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Saturday, November 10, 2012

Glee focuses on Finn too much, Parks and Recreation gets going, Grey's Anatomy does the unthinkable, Scandal gives us a whole hour without Hot President, and The Vampire Diaries mishandles Elena

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Glee- The Role You Were Born to Play
Good things about this episode: Blake's appearance as Rider, Kitty's singing voice, and Mercedes coming back. Bad things: They wasted Mercedes on a boring song, Kitty is still a copy of Quinn and Sue mixed, all the Finn stuff played out like a bad after-school special, Unique is Rizzo instead of Kitty, Marley is getting to be a bland character (at least Rachel had ambition), no Rachel, no Kurt, no New York, we're not sure "weird, nice guy" is the best choice for Blake's character (since we already have Sam and we were looking forward to seeing him be the mean boy), and Finn is sticking around to coach the Glee club. Can we nominate anyone else? Quinn would have been a great sub! She's actually deep and intelligent. We didn't want any of the songs, but we liked Blaine's Hopelessly Devoted to You, and we also enjoyed Everybody Talks as a male/female duet.
Episode grade: C+

Parks and Recreation- Ben's Parents
Breaking Bad's Jonathan Banks (Mike) did a great job as Ben's crotchety dad. Ulani was pretty hilarious too. Ben's storyline made Ern think of her own parents, who are similar and don't enjoy sharing room space. There aren't enough unity quilts in the world... That's why we loved when Ben said, "Well, if there's anyone who can bring my parents together it's...NO ONE. No one can ever bring them together." Everyone else's storylines were good too. There wasn't a single stinker. Tom ditching Jean Ralphio was long overdue.

We've been wanting Ann and Chris to get back together for a long time, but he has to go through some stuff, and Ann has to become more independent and self-possessed. These things are happening! Did you guys know the guy playing Chris is 48 though? Holy moly, he looks good. Rashida Jones is 36. So does it work with the formula? (A man can date a woman if her age is at least "half his age plus 8.") That means he can date a 32-year-old without shame, so Ann is in! Yay. Also, Twizzlers are much better than Red Vines. The season slump is over! Ben and April are home!
Episode grade: A-

Grey's Anatomy- Beautiful Doom
They. Killed. Feeny. WHAT?! We actually teared up. Thank God Cristina could get on a plane. Your only friend is dead, Cristina, come hoooome. Come home for good. Has she? Please? We loved Meredith saving Melissa's life. Meredith is one of the most genuinely likable and compassionate TV characters now. We can't believe we wanted her dead in season three's ferry crash. Since she's not all flaky and tortured anymore, she's mature and no longer annoying. We liked her in seasons one and two, but in season three, she and Derek broke up for no reason. Then it took all of season four for Meredith to get her stuff together. Our favorite line was, "Who's letting her have gummy worms?!!...Doesn't matter."
Episode grade: B+

Scandal- All Roads Lead to Fitz
We got more information on the conspiracy. It includes tons of people, including the first lady and Cyrus. There's something to do with election rigging abilities. It's all surprisingly interesting. So Fitz wasn't really elected? He lost by less than 5,000 votes, and this week's murderer should have been president instead? That's what it looks like, but on this show, things aren't always what they seem. Clearly, the right guy is in office, because the governor is so obsessed with power and success that he literally doesn't want to live without them.

Abby is majorly betraying Olivia. The case of the week was entertaining, but we don't think that would fall under attorney/client privilege. She wasn't acting as his attorney, was she? She was acting as a fixer. That's arguable. She might be able to sneak it through. We knew the wife was having an affair the entire time, but we didn't know the husband knew until near the end. We missed Fitz, but we enjoyed so much forward-movement in this season's major arc.
Episode grade: B

The Vampire Diaries- The Killer
There were a lot of good things about this episode. First, we liked that Connor is dead and we love that Elena killed him. It was so bad ass and everything we've wanted to see from this character. It's a pity the episode ruined it right afterward. Plenty of characters have killed on this show, and while we like remorse, total crying breakdowns are annoying and sort of sexist. Only...Caroline is a good person too, and she didn't react like this. It makes sense for Elena to pause, look sad, and take a deep, mournful breath, but all of this drama? Bleck. We LIKE Elena and don't think she's a damsel. If you hate her, we feel your pain this week.

It's getting lame how much the show has to emphasize Elena's compassion. We know it's part of her character, but you wouldn't see this kind of reaction from any of the guys on this show. Why is a guy's primary character trait never "compassion"? Elena couldn't have her kick-ass moment even though it was self-defense. The show had to immediately turn her into a crying puddle again. Now, she hallucinates too! Of course, she still can't wipe her mouth, even though she can bury a guy.

We're interested in what's going on with Professor Shane and Bonnie. He's clearly against her friends, but he's helping her and has control over Bonnie's unconscious mind now. That's going to come back to bite her. This episode was extremely gory, and we liked it. Especially the whole in the one hybrid's chest! We loved Haley telling Caroline, "I don't do teen drama." Where is the show going with her and how long is she staying? Now the town has underground tunnels. Could be useful. Overall, this was a decent episode that Elena tried to ruin by losing it.
Episode grade: B

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Supernatural brings back DJ Quarth (ugh), Nashville keeps Scarlett annoying, AHS stays crazy, Modern Family wins, and Arrow can't manage to be believable even for a second

By Josh Hallett  Uploaded by MyCanon (Sarah Hyland) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons
Supernatural- Southern Comfort
We like Garth about as much as Dean does. We hate when people don't have their own identites, so they start dressing and tlaking like just one other person. At least merge a couple of people together, yeesh. We know a girl who Single White Females another girl we know like crazy. Every time Girl #1 changes her hair, Girl #2 copies it. She wants to go to the same school as Girl #1, she has the same dreams and aspirations, and she buys the same clothes and shoes. It's hilarious, but sad. Garth was already annoying, but now he's doing stuff like this. We dislike him even more than Sam. Sam deserved to get screamed at, and if he attacks Benny, we hope Benny wins and kills Sam. Sam should have died at the end of season five when he went to hell with Satan.

Dean should have then found a way to get Sam transferred to heaven, teamed up with Castiel and Bobby, and continued the show with that gang instead. Sam could have guest starred when they needed a heavenly visit or ghost or something. Because Sam IS a traitor, and he HAS done the stupidest things. We keep forgiving him, and so has Dean, but not us. His girlfriend? Not better than Dean and not worth quitting the business for. She's just a woman who knew how to play hard to get. This show has the worst female characters (except for the blonde incarnation of Ruby and the Harvelle women). We liked the case, but the people on the screen need to shape up.
Episode grade: B-

Nashville-Movie It on Over
After a great pilot, this show kept meandering, tensionless and in a rut. Scarlett's storyline still isn't going anywhere. She's fighting with her insecure, putz boyfriend over the same darn thing. She should have dumped him at the end of the episode. Everyone else eked forward a little this week though. We found out what was up with Teddy and Peggy. That'll lead to nowhere good. Our fingers are crossed for a divorce. We like Juliette and Deacon as just friends, even if they are a little co-dependent. It's weird when he has sex with her, because she's so young. We're sure their relationship will go back to a romantic one, but we're enjoying the break from the skeeviness for now. We also like seeing Deacon's demons come back a little and Rayna hanging the phone up on him for good. It's cool to see her writing songs. We're also glad the addict mom went to rehab. No good songs this week.
Episode grade: B

American Horror Story- I Am Anne Frank (part 1)
Sigh. On the one hand, the last thing poor Anne Frank's memory needed was to be associated with this show. Did it have to be Anne Frank? Couldn't it have been any other Auschwitz inmate? On the other hand, the show kind of got away with it. The way Anne lived made sense. It's remotely possible. Maybe we'll soon find out that she's just crazy. Also, we thought we could trust Ryan Murphy to remember that Anne was probably bisexual (due to a few words her father edited out of her diary before publication). We guess Murphy thought they already covered the lesbian angle with Lana, so he gave Anne a dead husband. Anne is played by Franka Potente of Run Lola Run, a good, but overrated, movie.

So, Arden is actually a scary Holocaust doctor who experimented on Jews. We love that Sister Jude believes Anne. Who else laughed at the chronic masturbating guy? Lana's diversion therapy scenes were hard for us to watch. That would be a hard experience for a straight woman, let alone a gay one. Grace's imaginary flashback was disgusting. We like that she's guilty though. Shelley is being turned into one of those monsters, we think. One of the interesting things about this episode is the commentary that "it all starts with jokes." That's kind of true. Anti-Semetic jokes were being told and written in Germany decades before the Holocaust. By the time Hitler came on the scene, the groundwork was set. Yet jokes about Jews like we see on South Park are funny and actually seem to have an opposite effect.

Maybe it's the tone of the joke: whether it's satire on racists, or whether it's actually racist. Whether it's told in a judgmental way, or whether it's told good-naturedly to a Jewish friend who also jokes about your heritage. Maybe it's too dangerous, and we should scrap them altogether. Especially if Anne Frank is waiting in your local bar to attack you for telling them. This episode was completely over-the-top, with every storyline being far-fetched and absolutely disgusting. But that's this show, and we guess it's time we accepted that. Were we entertained? Yes. Were we scared? Naw.
Episode grade: B

Modern Family- Arrested
Well, we have Haley back. We're glad. She's funny. It's pretty harsh for her to get expelled completely though. It as a surprise. But this was one of the funniest episodes of the season. This year is starting to prove that there are more good one-liners in this show. Cam and Mitchell were apart, so they could only fight in the first couple of minutes. Phil stepped up, and so did Haley. We even liked Gloria and Jay's storyline. It was time to bury the hatchet between Gloria and DeDe. The flashbacks weren't kind to DeDe, who has been physically transformed for the worst in just a few short years. That's age though. It will happen to all of us. Loved the Legally Blonde reference (and that movie).
Episode grade: A

Deathstroke (the guy who tortured Oliver on the island) looks awesome! It's hard to pull off scary and intimidating in a supervillain costume, but he did it. That was the most interesting island flashback yet. It was good to see island enemies. Okay, it was dumb for Oliver to get himself arrested just so he'll never be suspected again, because now he has his name associated with the vigilante where it really wasn't before. He should have saved that trick for when he was being suspected. When newspapers were starting to associate his re-appearance with Arrow. Also, no one questions that rich Oliver couldn't just hire someone to pose as Arrow? Because he DID, except Dig didn't get paid. Moira is upset that someone tried to kill Oliver...even though she tried to kill Oliver on the yacht. For us, Detective Lance carried the episode. He brings some emotion to things. Oliver is a little stiff. Entertaining episode though. Easy to watch.
Episode grade: B

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The BBC Sherlock is the best Sherlock Holmes out there (better than RDJ and Elementary, and we don't hate those)

By Benedict_Cumberbatch_filming_Sherlock.jpg: Fat Les from London, UK derivative work: RanZag (Benedict_Cumberbatch_filming_Sherlock.jpg) [CC-BY-2.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons
None of our shows were on last night because of the US presidential election. Obviously, we're not going to tell you whether we are happy with the results, because this isn't a political blog. But we will say that there isn't much of a practical difference in what Romney and Obama would actually do. Obama likes gay people? Cool. That doesn't mean they will be able to marry. Even that awesome power is limited. Since we have no regularly scheduled post, this is a good time to talk about Sherlock for the first time. We just finished all six episodes, and we were pretty pleased with them. We're not sure we understand the level of obsession some people seem to have with it, but it was enjoyable and we look forward to season three. It's clever and well-written. There's some good humor. Sherlock's ego is just big enough. But let us be clear: Benedict Cumberbatch is not hot. #sackofpotatoes

For those of you who haven't seen it, you should. Sherlock is an update of the original stories that brings them to present day and sometimes improves on them. Each episode is based on one of the more famous Conan Doyle stories. It's true to the characters, and the characterization is great. We like seeing a Sherlock with actual Asperger's rather than just arrogance and intelligence. The relationship between Sherlock and Watson is adorable. There are only six episodes, but you should know that they are each an hour and a half long. It's best if you treat them like six 90-minute movies. It's not one of those shows that you can follow if you're not paying attention. It's not a good one to have in the background. Get popcorn, dim the lights, and just watch one at a time like they are films. The acting is good.

For those of you have have seen it, our favorite episodes were the first and third episodes of season one. We also liked the most recent episode, the finale of season two. We weren't nuts about the season two premiere. All of the sudden, Sherlock was good at hand-to-hand combat, like the Robert Downey Jr. Sherlock. Can't a guy be brilliant and bad ass without having to also be able to beat up other guys too? We didn't like that incarnation of Irene Adler either. Watching her pursuing Sherlock was a little boring. We can't say that the actress and Benedict had a lot of chemistry either, even though she was gorgeous and did a fine job. As a romance, it didn't work or pull at our heartstrings. Our least favorite episode has to be The Blind Banker though, since it was the most boring. Moriarty is great. He's freaky in a way that most TV villains are not. It's a great success. His first appearance was truly shocking. We can't wait to find out how Sherlock lived in the finale.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Did you say Good Wife, Homeland, and Downton? YEAH YOU DID. (And there's Revolution too)

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The Good Wife- The Art of War
Who doesn't love a good rape case? On TV, on TV. Never in real life. We loved when the military judge stood between Amanda Peet and her attempted racist when he was trying to brown nose. That was the best part of that. As soon as we heard Alicia say, "Let's win this," we knew they were going to lose. We guess even really smart lawyers can still be beaten by the Rules of Jinx. Bye bye Mandy Post. Can't say we're sorry for your loss. We finally know where the Maddie stuff is going, and we're not sure we like it. Kalinda's stupid husband was only in this episode for a couple of minutes, and we can all be grateful for that. Now that Alicia knows he's dangerous, can she please get rid of him? Who loves Jackie's new caregiver? We dooooo.
Episode grade: B+

Homeland- A Gettysburg Address
Is it just us, or was that the first relative snoozer of the season (compared to other episodes of this show, of course)? The new status quo has taken the tension out of a lot of major storylines for this show. What are we supposed to worry about now? Finn and Dana? Psh, that'll be the day. Not that there weren't important events. Mike and Jessica think Brody is a terrorist now. If they thought that a few days ago, they would have been right. They can't even be right when they are RIGHT. Ugh, so behind, guys. If Quinn is gone, we're going to be upset. He was our favorite new character and the man we hope Carrie ends up with. He won't put up with any of her s***. We felt bad for Brody when he was all confused and getting screamed at.
Episode grade: B

Revolution- The Children's Crusade
Yet another motherflippin adventure of the week. Don't worry, we expected it. They will find Danny in the season finale. It will be a cliffhanger where Charlie hugs him, and then they turn around and see Monroe holding a knife to their mother's throat. Roll credits. We're just going to try to enjoy the show as a weekly adventure thing. So, Danny is sort of the reason the power went out? Ha, and he got his dad killed too. He's just replaced Nora as "most useless person on this show." Hopefully Charlie can put her new brand to good use tricking people. The good news is that Charlie wasn't as annoying this week. Yeah, she jumped at the chance to save the orphan boy, but Miles backed her up quickly. When a man backs up a woman's bleeding-heart move, it's more tolerable, right viewers? : /
Episode grade: B-

Downton Abbey- Season three finale
Well, this was the quietest Downton finale in history. Now tragic love cliffhanger? No angst? Almost no drama? Edith has a Jane Eyre situation, and we quite like it. We don't like cousin Rose though. Sorry, but if you run around with married guys, that's gross. We should all react like Edith did. We love the Edith we saw in this episode: smart, strong, direct, and awesome. We didn't know Tom was so intelligent until this week either. Thankfully Mary can have children now. There are too many infertility plots on TV. Is it time for a time jump to grow up baby Sybil a little? We're pretty sure in that day and age, no one would be defending Thomas like that. It was unrealistic, but sweet. Of course, Thomas has been such a poop throughout the show's history that we weren't touched. Violet was in fine form, as usual. All-in-all, it was a pleasant watch, but it wasn't the stuff of memorable, stunning finales.
Episode grade: B-

If you live in the US, go vote while there's still time!

Monday, November 5, 2012

Once Upon a Time, Walking Dead, Revenge, and Dexter

By Kristin Dos Santos from Los Angeles, California, United States (Image:Prison Break Cast.jpg [1]) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons
Hello creatures. We've been having internet problems, but we're back.

Once Upon a Time- Tallahassee
Not only did Hurley's presence this week remind us of LOST, so did the episode title. One of those writers must have spent a lot of time in Tally...God knows why. Bleck. Go to Gainesville instead, readers. When Hurley thumped out as the giant, we cackled. There's nothing fearsome about that guy, even if they make him larger. We were impressed that Hook could climb the beanstalk. We didn't feel bad for him in the end. Supposedly, he will be released soon, and he was also being a total sexual harasser during the entire adventure. Emma is so stupid. She should have had Hurley hold Hook for a month, not ten hours. He's going to catch up and become a problem. We liked Henry and Aurora's identical scary dreams. Nothing like dark prophecy to spice up a fantasy.

We finally got the backstory on Henry's dad, Neal, who August convinced to abandon her for her own good. Neal really loved Emma! What was in the box?!! Is this show going to pull a Pulp Fiction and not tell us? We're pretty sure it was neither a soul nor gold. This episode was good for Emma's character development. We got to see why she is the way that she is (annoying). She was jilted, abandoned, and spent time in prison. They did a good job making Jennifer Morrison look younger. That's about as good as it's going to get. We are left to ponder who we ship Emma with: Hook, August, or Neal? We're thinking Hook would be the most interesting. Or Rumpy's son.
Episode grade: B

The Walking Dead- The Killer Within
No zombie baby, but there were major deaths this week. No one likes the wives on AMC (except for some people liking Megan Draper), so everyone should be happy that Lori is gone, right? We're really not. Her death was sad sad sad. Her speech to Carl almost got us tearing up. Rick's reaction was devastating. The first half of this episode was dull, but it ended like a finale. Heck yes. This season is doing everything it can to win us back. We liked the show starting to alternate between Andrea and the original group. Not a whole lot happened with Andrea and Michonne though. That was set up for later. Andrea is going to regret her little crush on the Governor. Is it a crush? Michonne is predictably smart. RIP T-Dog, who has been replaced by a new black man, Oscar. He seems cool. Carl having to shoot his mom's body was messed up. We're in a terrible mood from watching that, but we'll admit the episode was pretty good.
Episode grade: B+

Revenge- Illusion
Aiden and Amanda go to the Grayson wedding together. While Daniel dances with Amanda, Aiden and Ashley share a dance. Now, we know the normal viewer was watching Daniel regret the end of his relationship with Amanda, but since we are so focused on the new hottie, we sensed an odd closeness between Aiden and Ashley. They are both British. They are both sneaky as hell. They are totally in cahoots. We know it. That's what's going down. Because you know this show wouldn't spend so much time on boring Ashley unless she has a secret of her own. Aiden tries to get Amanda to trust her again, and looks like he's going in for a kiss. He's all "I've changed." She tells him to leave. Is she a real person? With, like, a libido and everything? Doubtful.
Episode grade: B

Dexter- Do the Wrong Thing
When did LaGuerta turn into a brilliant cop? So inconvenient for everyone and WE LOVE IT. Oh had other options here. Helping Isaak get released was a new low, but at least it was to rescue Nadia from human trafficking. We hate human trafficking. Deb dating a true crime writer is also a dumb move. This episode suffered because Dexter's investigation into Hannah took too long. We knew she was a killer already. We didn't need to watch Dexter confirm it for that long. Hannah kills people rather than get attached to them. That's a new spin on intimacy issues. We've got intimacy issues of our own, but damn...they aren't that rough. We're not sure if we ship Hannah and Dexter, but we're just so happy Dexter's love interest this season isn't Deb.
Episode grade: B