Dan Harmon is Officially Coming Back to Community for Season 5!!!!

YESSSSSS

Now we'll start watching it again

Best almost news of the week

Dan Harmon is in talks to come back to Community.

That would be amazing. We would both start watching it again (only one of us is watching it now). The show was so much better when he ran it, jerk or not.

Sad Day

We're dropping Community. It's not what it was.

Community- Season 4, Episode 1

By Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America (Joel McHale  Uploaded by maybeMaybeMaybe) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

History 101- After roughly FOREVER, Community was on our TV's Thursday night. But was it the real Community, or did Dan Harmon's exist doom it to becoming something like The Big Bang Theory? The show instantly mocked that possibility by having Abed go to his "happy place," a CBS-like sitcom in his head, complete with a laugh track. He had replaced Pierce with Fred Willard too! (Riffing on the offstage drama between Chevy Chase and the showrunners.) We thought that should have been dropped after the first scene though.

Community up in ratings from last year; Do No Harm cancelled after two episodes

We heard it wasn't great, but sheesh. We didn't even get a chance to watch Do No Harm. Only two episodes were broadcast.

Worst News Ever

Louie won't be back until Spring 2014.

They also pushed Community back in order to market it better, which is sort of a good thing.

Community, Grey’s Anatomy, How I Met Your Mother, Smash, New Girl, Secret Circle, and Make It or Break It end their seasons.

Community: Leeard loved the last three episodes of Community, particularly the first and third episodes. Ern was less enthused about them, believing them to not be the show’s best. However, this is a show you should be watching. It’s uneven to most fans, but we think it’s at least consistently worth 22 minutes a week. This season has been pretty strong. The stand-out episodes were "Pillows and Blankets" and the one with the multiple timelines ("Remedial Chaos Theory"). Oh yeah, and the Christmas special ("Regional Holiday Music"). Those three episodes were classic Community. We can’t wait for season four. 
Season grade: A-

Grey’s Anatomy: We are so angry at this show for killing off that character. That was not the character who needed to go. Out of all the annoying people on this show, they took that character? We were very surprised. We like Jackson and April together. We always hated her, but she is way less annoying when she is with Jackson. Clearly, Owen and Cristina need to get back together, if only because we love seeing a TV couple fight that hard for a marriage that has every reason to end. The fact that this show is still churning out episodes we care about is a feat in itself. It is a soap opera in its eighth season. So, bravo Grey’s. Since Cristina and Alex are staying for next year, so are we. 
Season grade: B+

How I Met Your Mother: We did not hate the two-part season finale. It was predictable that Robin and Barney were going to get married, but we like that twist anyway. Marvin is a horrible name, but “Wait for It” IS the best middle name ever. It’s time for us to meet the mother. We love Victoria (especially Leeard), but the show needs to stop dawdling with her. This season was mostly unfunny with a few gems. We will stick with it until the bitter end, because that’s how much we want to meet Mrs. Mosby. But unless the show steps up the actual humor next year, we won’t be happy about it. 
Season grade: D+

Smash: Oh God, this show. We are so addicted to it, but friends, it isn’t good. It lost its last shred of realism when Karen took the stage on opening night instead of Ivy. We want to hear Ivy’s version of that last song, because it’s a really good number and it deserves to be sung by NOT boring, average Karen. Derek is a moron. We like that Julia and Frank are back together though, if only so that next season the world might get to hear that man sing. That’s really what we are holding out for. Knowing this show, Smash will give him a song that won’t show him off properly. We are entertained by this show, but why isn’t it as good as its pilot was? We may or may not return for a second season. It depends on how we feel in the fall. We hope they scrap Bombshell and work to create an entirely new show that's not based on Marilyn. We're not getting our hopes up for that though. The great thing about next season is that Dev and Ellis will not be season regulars. We've never liked Dev and most people don't like Ellis (we thought he brought good drama) and we are sick of hearing them complain. 
Season grade: C-

New Girl: We have rarely seen a stronger first season from a comedy. This show criticized its own flaws in that great Lizzie Caplan court episode and found its voice early on. It also moved its focus from just adorkable Jess to its loveable ensemble. We like every character on this show and their interactions contain a chemistry mostly seen in casts that have been together longer. The finale was cute and funny. We love that Nick didn’t end up with Caroline in the finale. We thought the show might do some cliffhanger where he actually left and the gang would have to get him back next year, but the show chose not to annoy us. Isn’t that nice? We will absolutely, gladly watch this show’s second season. No question. 
Season grade: A

Secret Circle: We will always be mad that this show was cancelled and we will refuse to believe it for a while. Breaking In was brought back!? Can’t the CW save this one? The series finale was more satisfying than we thought it would be. The death of Cassie’s dad was great. The set up for a nonexistent second season was good, yet the finale had a definite ending. We liked seeing Diana take control of her life and ditch the circle. We liked seeing previews of Adam’s dark side. Charles had started to redeem himself. There was lots of action and a magic crystal skull and everything!!! Ugh, why show? Why? For anyone who has read the books- should we? Will they fill that void? 
Season and series grade: A- and we don’t care what anyone says to the contrary.

Make It or Break It: We enjoyed this season and liked that ABCFamily tried to give a little more closure….but this season was not what we wanted. No Emily, very little Sasha, no Peri Gilpin, no Olympics, a redeemed Lauren Tanner (when all we wanted to do was hate her), and Jordan. Stupid, stupid Jordan. The actress playing her was not good and we could not have cared less about her being molested (a “twist” that was not difficult to guess early on). The premiere of the season was cheesy as all-get-out. The tension and backstabbing drama was toned down. We liked the season, but it was nowhere near as good and entertaining as seasons one and two. We feel like the network let fans down with this shortened, cutesy series of episodes that did not resemble the tension-filled, almost powerful seasons that preceded it.
Season grade: B- 
Series grade: A-

Cougar Town saved! (and other news about other shows/our reactions)

If you haven't heard already, today TBS saved Cougar Town from cancellation and has bought all the rights to it. There will be another season of the show. We love when this happens, and we can think of no more deserving show. Thank you, TBS!

Lots of other shows have been renewed and cancelled, but we haven't gotten around to talking about it yet. Stupid exams! Alcatraz has been cancelled, and you know what? We don't care. Yeah, we watched and covered it a lot, but it was more due to the possibility that it could get good. It wasn't actually good yet. The pilot and one other episode were good, but mostly it deserves scorn. The Finder was also cancelled, to the joy of Ern and the mild disappointment of Leeard.

30 Rock was renewed for one more season. This is good. The show needs to start coming in for a landing, but it shouldn't end this year. Parenthood was renewed! Amazing, amazing, amazing. Love that show. Touch was renewed as well. When it came out of the gate, we really liked it, but we aren't sure the sweet concept is working out well, long-term. We hope this show does its homework and fixes its problems for the second season.

The Vampire Diaries unsurprisingly got another season, and can we say "rejoice?" Rejoice. Supernatural has also been renewed, and we have finally started watching it. We are done with season one. Ern thinks it's cheesy as heck but is willing to keep watching it. We also need to catch up on Person of Interest. We got behind, but it's been renewed, so we need to give it attention.

Grey's Anatomy is near deals with a few main characters who were at risk of leaving. We will put their names in the comments so that you aren't spoiled as to who might be staying for the next two years. Shonda confirmed a while ago that a character will be dying horribly in this year's finale. We will put our guess for that death in the comments as well.

Finally, a commenter has just informed us that Community was renewed today. This is not surprising, but we are concerned that there will only be 13 episodes. How can we survive with only 13 episodes?

P.S. We are seeing The Avengers tomorrow. Wooo hooo.

---Update---
ABC Renewed: Grey's, Revenge, Castle, Once Upon a Time, The Middle, Suburgatory, and Modern Family. No surprises there.

Community - Virtual Systems Analysis review

Thursday night, Community aired an episode that’s just like the ones we like to see from this show (the high-concept and deep ones). The week before, the episode was normal (which some viewers prefer). The week before that, the episode (Pillows and Blankets) was incredible and high-concept (the type of episode we prefer). Virtual Systems Analysis was more thoughtful than funny, and it gave us an unusual pairing: Abed and Annie. Annie helped Abed work through his insecurities and develop a skill called empathy.

Abed helped Annie realize that she’s not actually in love with Jeff; she’s just in love with the idea of being loved. Paired with the last episode, we can see that Community is really trying to make people think about their insecurities, the way they let people treat them, their true motives, and why they have feelings for certain members of opposite sex when those people are bad for them. Community is inserting wisdom along with humor.

In this episode, Annie set Troy and Britta up for a lunch date and had to entertain Abed in his Dreamatorium. At first, Abed was upset over possibly losing Troy to Britta. He also found Annie to be a poor, overly British assistant. Abed figured out that Annie was trying to set Troy and Britta up partly because Annie wants to be with Jeff. Abed simulates all his friends, showing that he knows them pretty well. In the end, both Annie and Troy are better off.

Overall, this episode was adorable. We don’t understand how anyone didn’t get Inception though. The weakness of this episode was its lack of laughs. We don’t think this show always needs to be hilarious though. Certain episodes squeak by in quality through insightfulness and charm. The episode’s strength was its depth, sweetness, weirdness, and originality. It wasn’t the strongest of this season, but we will take it. It was touching, innocent, and character-driven. 

Episode grade: B+

Thursdays Aren't The Same Without Our CW Shows, But At Least We Had These Four Episodes

Community - Origins of Vampire Mythology

This was one of Community’s more traditional, normal, and season one-esque episodes. We prefer the high-concept spoofing episodes like the Christmas specials, the one with the alternate timelines, the World of Warcraft episode, and last week’s pillow fight documentary. This episode was more about the crazy characters, their solid friendships, and their neuroticism and insecurities (particularly Britta and Jeff’s). We loved the advancement of the Britta/Troy pairing, which was hinted at earlier and needs to happen eventually. Jeff’s speech at the end might have been less than subtle, but it’s a speech that most women who love bad boys need to hear. Heck, it’s a speech we should all take to heart.

Episode grade: B

Touch - Entanglement

This week, one of the random characters Martin needs to help is a young Muslim woman fighting an arranged marriage. This is a country where it’s against the law for women to drive, so we actually think she should marry the guy, seeing as he is college educated and traveled the world. You could do worse. Maybe he’s cultured? That story got even more interesting fast. Halfway through, we see the most intriguing random character: a girl bent on revenge. We love revenge stories! We loved what Martin said to her even more. He shouldn’t have moved her after she was hit by that van though. Never move anyone after an accident; you could hurt them more and then get sued.

 It was weird that when Martin looked up the Bible verse Exodus 22:22, he read the words next to a number that clearly said four (not 22). He got the words of verse correct, but what kind of funky Bible did they use for a prop? Someone berated a girl for breaking a rule and used the phrase, “If you take out one brick, the whole wall will fall out.” We say that if your beliefs or way of life rely on each piece being concrete, they are too flimsy to stand. Things came together more smoothly this week, and we didn’t see any people from previous weeks, so things were less confusing. This is the kind of episode we want to see from this show. It was emotionally satisfying and not too complex.

Episode grade: A-

Awake - Ricky’s Tacos

We liked the opening with the fast food drive-through. It raises more questions. We also liked the new, big conspiracy that might provide more overarching plot. The cases were decent too. Fat Neil from Community was on this episode! This show is still extremely likely to be cancelled, and we are upset about that. Still, keep watching, telling your friends, and spreading the word on the internet that it is a good, original procedural. Talking to the kid without a lawyer or parent made us raise our eyebrows. How would that fly? Not that we hated it. They needed to get the little girl away from her father. Something has to stop Michael from moving to Portland, right? Question: Say Michael was actually living in parallel universes and each were equally real. If he hooked up with another woman/married her in the universe where his wife was dead, would that be morally wrong?

Episode grade: B

Grey’s Anatomy - Support System

After some bickering and cutesiness, Bailey, Teddy, Arizona, and Callie have a girls night together. The residents panic over their boards and use Lexie’s memory to help them study until Meredith takes over and teaches them Callie’s method. Mark takes over as chief of surgery in Owen’s absence. There are patients, blahblahblah. One of them teaches Meredith that even when a friend says they don’t want comfort and support, they are lying and you should always be there. Obviously the real drama in this episode was Owen moving out after Cristina guessed his subconscious motive for cheating on her. It was to hurt her like she hurt him when she aborted his baby. Owen didn’t deny this, and that’s why he got the boot. He left with some “I’ll always love you” speech, but Cristina is over boys for now. She needs to study for her boards.

This prompted a lot of debating with our friends over whether we would keep a husband around if he cheated (if he is anything less than husband, it’s not even a discussion; it’s automatic). Cristina seemed offended that it was just a one-night sex thing where he didn’t even remember the girl’s name, but we think that’s less offensive than a relationship or long-term mistress. We all agreed that we would never let a husband cheat twice and stay with him. We also debated whether it is more hurtful to cheat or to abort a baby the other spouse wanted. Cristina’s crime is more of a grey area, and she does have the woman’s right to choose on her side. Owen’s is always wrong to most people. We are really surprised he did that. Despite all the drama and the sad outcome of last night, we think these two are endgame. They’ve spent three seasons fighting for this relationship. It had better not be a waste of time.

Episode grade: B+

Other shows we saw this week

Sunday
Shameless - A Great Cause

We shouldn’t be surprised that Fiona’s mom spent all the family’s money on coke. What with the addict Sheila took in and everything else, this episode should be shown in public schools to discourage kids from doing drugs. Sheila’s drug addict was so awful but so funny. We felt twisted laughing at it. We feel bad for Kevin and Veronica. It was hilarious when Steve lost Marco, Estonia’s love. No good deed goes unpunished. Ian wasn’t allowed to join the military until he finished high school, but we think they should make an exception. War might actually better for his mental health than living with his family. Jody and Sheila need to get together, officially. They are so dumb that they are made for each other. It was nice to see Fiona planning for her future, getting ambitious, getting herself a good job in management, jogging, and considering business school. Obviously, it was never going to last. These kids are her quagmire. Steve tried to get her away last season, but nothing is going to work. If Lip isn’t going to take his opportunities, then he should take Fiona’s place at home for a while. We feel bad for her. We feel even worse for Mandy. We are surprised Mandy isn’t getting an abortion. At least Monica made a lot of cookies while she was having her mental breakdown. 

Episode Grade: B+

Monday
Alcatraz - Webb Porter

In this groundbreaking episode, an inmate from Alcatraz reappears, kills people, and is caught by Rebecca, Doc, and Hauser. Ern thinks this show needs some sort of love story that’s actually romantic, and Ern never says this. She likes things that are based on themes bigger (or at least more unique) than romantic love. This show needs some romance though, and Lucy/Hauser isn’t cutting it, mostly because Hauser is old and kind of an A-hole. Lucy is really sweet though and we are glad this week's inmate could help her. She needs to learn that it’s laughter that’s the best medicine, not music. What kind of doctor is she, not knowing the basics? Webb Porter gives some truly bad haircuts. We like how hard his first victim fought. If you have to go out, that’s the way. There’s a lesson in this, and it’s “don’t abuse your kids” even though they smell and probably deserve it. This episode dragged a little, but it was otherwise ok. This show may get cancelled anyway. We won't be devastated, but we won't be happy.

Episode Grade: B-

How I Met Your Mother - The Broath

This episode had a promising title. We liked Barney’s Broath, his robes, and his monk-chanting CD. We can’t believe Ted Evelyn Mosby broke the broath. He's the worst. Marshall and Lily sound like they have a great sex life…we did get to see the downside of only ever sleeping with one person though. One clever moment in this episode had Ted confronting three college kids that resembled Marshall, Lily, and Ted when they were in college. Anything with an intervention or ninjas is usually a win with us, but this episode wasn’t as funny as it could have been. This season has been really average. Things got too dramatic when Quinn broke up with Barney, even if it did turn into an evil plan. Also, one of us has a huge problem with women slapping or hitting their boyfriends or husbands in entertainment (and in life). If a guy did that, he would be a total monster in the episode or movie. If a girl does it, it’s still abusive. Why did the evil plan even happen? Why is that funny? Oh wait, it’s not. This is turning into a soap opera. We had to watch Ted and Robin fight emotionally in the hallway. What happened to our lighthearted comedy? Then we had homophobic and fat jokes. Original! At least Robin got a promotion. Finally. Maybe we are being too harsh, but we just miss this show being one of the best things on TV. It has fallen farther even than The Office. All of the characters were awful this week. They were dishonest and, worst of all, not funny.

Episode Grade: D+

Being Human - Dream Reaper

This whole episode was about Sally losing it and the guys dealing with it. We love Sally with her straight hair. She looks good with either curly or straight. It was funny when Josh was talking to Sally about how Julia has gotten hotter. Where did they find those creepy pillows with the eyes on them for Sally’s dream living room? The whole color scheme (purple and grey) of that fantasy was pretty cool. Of course this happened on the full moon so that Josh, Aidan, and Zoe were trapped with Sally in the house. It was sweet that even though circumstances were dire, Josh and Aidan refused to consider shredding Sally. It was scary when the Reaper spoke through Sally and told Zoe all the secrets. Josh’s idea to change in the fridge was freaking hilarious. We thought Josh would be the first one to lose it and were surprised when it was Aidan. It was cool to see Aidan and Josh fight, even if it was short-lived. Some guys can still come across as masculine when they cry, and Aidan is not one of them. It was funny when Josh fed Aidan…up to a point, obviously. The episode was cool, but it solved almost nothing.

Episode Grade: B+

Tuesday
New Girl - Fancyman Part 1

Nick’s credit score is about like Ern’s, haha. We liked Dermot Mulroney as Russell and seeing a mature guy interested in Jess. He looks a bit older than 42 though. Just googled it. The actor is 48. Jess’ commitment to art and creativity in the classroom wasn’t funny, but everything else about this episode was. We really loved how impressed Nick was with Russell’s office. We were impressed too. We liked the way Jess delivered the line, “Bidet if I do.” The whole Bidet thing was a good idea. Russell is definitely too together for Jess. 

Episode Grade: B+

Wednesday
South Park - Cash for Gold

You may suck our collective balls, sir. This episode took aim at the home shopping network and their overpriced stuff. What is it with old people and getting swindled easily? Of course Cartman gets in on the home shopping business, because he sees it’s lucrative, and that’s all he needs. If Stan could have just worn the gay bolo tie and shut up, Cartman wouldn’t have found a source of income. The world needs for Cartman to never find his own source of income, other than his mother. Asians never come out well on this show, but at least it’s always funny. Also funny were the parts where Stan and the old people kept calling in to tell the salesman to kill himself. We knew he was going to. When they showed the cycle of how the jewelry was made and sold, the a cappella was a nice touch.

Episode Grade:  B+

America's Next Top Model - J. Alexander
This episode was the best of the Cycle so far, but we really aren't digging this cycle. We don't particularly like any of the girls, even though Ashley has the cutest accent ever. The photo shoots, especially the "toddler" one, have been stupid and unfunny. They had Kris Jenner on the show too. Say what? It was funny when that British model couldn't take criticism and left. It was also funny when Tyra told us she graduated from Harvard. That's important. Tyra spent a lot of time two weeks ago promoting Modelland. She gave the girls superhero model nicknames. One was "Illuminati." Dear Lord. We like this show half high fashion and half hot, dramatic mess. However, this Cycle has been all mess. This episode was a little tamer, but it didn't entertain us.
Episode Grade: C+

Thursday
Missing - Pilot
We were not impressed by this show. It isn't hideous, but it isn't good either. It's Taken with the genders swapped and it's not as entertaining as that movie was. It makes no sense, and there is too much action with too little character development. The action scenes are fun, but they came before we cared about the people fighting. We love Ashley Judd, but we have no time for a show that's this generic and dull.
Episode Grade: D+

Awake 
We are still watching and enjoying this show. It's avoided being uneventful and focuses on the characters more than the weekly mysteries. We like that.

Community - Contemporary Impressionists

Jeff took medication for his anxiety and got rid of all his self-doubt. Britta worried that without that self-doubt, Jeff would turn into a monster. It’s true that getting rid of self-doubt would make a narcissist more obnoxious. However, self-doubt does not tame the ego. Self-doubt is another manifestation pride, it’s just more unpleasant and makes you down on yourself rather than overtly arrogant. In this society, we say that to cure low self-esteem, we need high self-esteem, and to cure arrogance, we need to think badly of ourselves. The reason we are mainly writing this and not focusing on the actual show is that we believe this is a common confusion that hurts people struggling to be both more secure and more humble. Thinking badly of yourself or feeling shame won’t make you more humble; it will just make you depressed and more focused on yourself. You don’t want high or low self-esteem, you want NO self-esteem. You don’t want to always be thinking of yourself and how you are measuring up/looking. Spending time comparing yourself to others or evaluating your abilities (whether you decide you’re making out well or not) is taking time away from getting to know other people or actually doing something you love for its own sake, rather than how it makes you look. You should say what you think is the right thing to say, not what will make you admired. It’s best to take the mind off the self altogether, if possible, because that’s the ultimate statement that it’s not all about you. That’s the anti-ego. Jeff did not get this advice and pulled a Kanye in this episode. It was pretty funny. We loved Shirley’s fake Oprah Winfrey and Britta’s Michael Jackson. The Chang stuff was actually funny this episode. They are learning to use Chang sparingly. However, this episode wasn’t as good as the last one and was merely ok. We still think this is one of the best comedies of all time though. Stay weird, Community.

Episode grades: B-

The Vampire Diaries - Break on Through

Poor Alaric. But is the real problem gonna be Jeremy? We’re with Damon on Stefan’s eating habits. Stefan keeps falling off his wagon, so he needs to ditch the wagon and find a new way to deal with his hunger. Moderation sounds good. Sage showing up a mere episode after she was first mentioned was awfully  convenient. It’s also a little too convenient that there was another White Oak Tree, but we’ll go with it. This show has earned our suspension of disbelief, especially since the many Alaric deaths turned out to be important. Rebekah, you are an Original. Don’t let Damon treat you like this. You could own him with a swat. It’s really too bad that Abby bit Jamie, and not only because he is hot. Klaus, someone might be moving in on your girl… When Sage bit into a human’s arm, it sounded like she was biting into an apple. We don’t know if biting into a wrist would make that same noise. Who wants to try it and tape it for us? Sage looks a little like an older version of Elizabeth Banks. Dancing is foreplay for Damon. He shouldn’t dance with his arms over his shoulders if he wants to appear straight. That’s the rule, most of the time. Unless it’s ballet. This show is so crazy. We never thought we’d root for Meredith over Alaric in a scene. It’s hard not to see her as crazy Melissa from PLL. The third way too convenient development was Abby and Bonnie pulling an herbal cure for Alaric out of their asses. It’s nice to see Stefan and Elena both communicating and working together. We miss that couple. Thanks to Damon, the Original-killing game is finally back on!

Episode Grade: B+

Movies-
We watched Take Shelter, which was a very good movie that we ended up not liking. Sometimes the critics go nuts over something well-made and meaningful, but when it's over, we think, "So what?" We guess it reflected our modern sense of stress and doom pretty well. Certain scenes really grabbed us, there were some definite scary parts, and the lead actor was good. But we got to the ending and felt like we didn't get a proper resolution to all we had sat through. It's easier to be impressed with the quality of this movie than to actually like the movie. Movie grade: C+ Then we watched Attack the Block, which was fun and hilarious. Americans will need to watch it with subtitles because nearly all the dialogue is British slang. It's really funny if you can pick it up, but if you are just listening, we guarantee you will miss most of it. This is in our top three alien invasion movies. Movie grade: A-

The Rest of the Shows We Watched

Well, Ern decided to go goof around at Disney World for three days. If you saw a grown-ass woman trotting around Hollywood Studios, swinging a blue lightsaber and making dinosaur noises, then you saw  Ern. Sadly, that means no one watched new shows Touch and Missing yet, since that was Ern's job. Hopefully that will happen shortly/next week. But here are the rest! Thank Leeard, mostly, lol.

Sunday
GCB - Hell Hath No Fury
Leeard is still enjoying this show, but we're both hoping some things change in the next few weeks. It's getting repetitive and it's only been on for two weeks.
Episode Grade: B

House of Lies - Ouroboros
Marty finally found out that Jeannie is engaged, but plays it off to help her save face with Wes. Monica is mad that Marty is seeing someone else, so she files for sole custody. Oh Monica. You dumb, crazy bitch. Marty's new girlfriend is great with Roscoe and we hate Monica, so we're rooting for Marty. Also, Monica's consulting firm is doing the due diligence for the MetroCapital merger, which obviously sucks for Marty.
Episode Grade: B

Monday
Alcatraz - Clarence Montgomery
A man is sent to Alcatraz after being wrongfully convicted of murder. We should mention that he's black and he was convicted in the 1960s. He's in our time now and actually committing crimes. Apparently, he was brainwashed back in Alcatraz so he's convinced he's guilty and won't be anything but a murder for the rest of his life. He finds an old friend from the rock who notices he hasn't aged. When Rebecca, Doc and Hauser find Clarence at his friend's apartment, Clarence asks his friend to kill him so he both stops murdering and doesn't go back to jail. Hauser is upset, because Clarence had the lady doctor's blood type and could've saved her life.
Episode Grades: C

Tuesday
Switched at Birth - The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters
Part of this episode was pretty cool. We like that Bay and Daphne teamed up for Emmett's birthday gift - making a deaf zombie movie. Too bad he doesn't deserve it, because he and Simone are acting cagey as hell pretending that they didn't sleep together at the basketball tournament. Wilke finds out because he accidentally reads Simone's texts with Emmett and he obviously disapproves. We obviously disapprove because Simone is the worst. We don't really know how to feel about Emmett not telling Bay. The truth is obviously going to come out eventually (probably next week, since that's the season finale), and it's not going to be pretty.
Episode Grade: B

Cougar Town - A One Story Town
That end tag was probably the best ever. So funny, even for people who don't love Scrubs. Jules got way too involved in the lives of her friends, as usual, but it's always out of love. She tried to set Bobby and Travis' photography professor (Angie) on the perfect date leading to the perfect kiss, because Bobby is a horrible date but the best kisser (according to Jules). Obviously, things go awry, but it obviously ends up all right. This is honestly one of the shows we wish we could live in.
Episode Grade: A

Body of Proof - Identity
We are so sick of crime shows doing an episode with this plot. Two girls who look similar are in a car accident in which one dies. They're misidentified at the scene. Seriously, when we were watching and found out that two girls had been in the car accident we said to the tv "please don't do this plot, you're better than that". Unfortunately, the show didn't listen to us. We still really like Megan and Aiden (mainly because Jamie Bamber is gorgeous and we miss Battlestar Galactica), but this show needs to stop recycling plots from every other crime show.
Episode Grade: D

Wednesday
Suburgatory - Independence Day
Tessa wants to become an independent, self-sufficient woman, so she gets a job at Dallas' crystal store. George worries that there's something going on in Tessa's life that she won't share with him. He finds the poem she wrote for the cool teacher's poetry class and worries even more about if this means that Tessa wants to see her mother. He meets with Tessa's maternal grandmother to see if she or her daughter (Tessa's mother) want to see Tessa. Apparently they don't. Whatever, Tessa is awesome and they're missing out. Also awesome: Dallas. She and Tessa are probably the best things about the show.
Episode Grade: B+

Thursday
The Office - Get the Girl
Andy drives down to Florida to get Erin to come back to Scranton with him. He succeeds of course. In Scranton, Nellie has arrived for a job in the branch and, seeing Andy's office has no one sitting in it, decides she'd be a good manager. She gives everyone a raise and somehow convinces Robert California of her talents. Not that she really has any. It was a weird episode.
Episode Grade: B-

Community - Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts
If this episode hadn't been the first after an extended break, it would have been fine. As it was, it definitely didn't live up to our expectations. Granted, it's Community, so it's still hilarious (like Troy and Abed "de-whimsifying" themselves). We really wish we had gotten to see Troy and Abed's 24-hour marathon of weird in the dreamatorium.
Episode grades: A-

The Vampire Diaries - 1912
We can't believe that after all our complaining about Alaric death fake-outs, we found out that all the dying was for a reason. That was leading up to something! Dying too often and being saved by the ring messes with your head. This show is so brilliant. Even the stuff that annoys us turns out to be important. We found out that the person who made Damon a bad guy was a vampire named Sage. We bet she's doing MMA now. Damon and Stefan grow closer, and Elena and Matt share quality time together. Matt is STILL in love with Elena, at least a little bit. Poor thing. Although we enjoyed it, this episode won't get a perfect grade, because we think it's dumb that Meredith shot Alaric for his own good, and Liz acted irrationally. Their actions just didn't make sense.
Episode Grade: B

Grey's Anatomy- One Step Too Far
There is yet another gap for this show, and it's driving us crazy. At least other shows have ONE long gap and maybe two. This one seems to have about five per season. About the episode...well, everyone is on Team Cristina at this point, right? The abortion was debatable in some circles and we could at least half understand her point. But cheating is always wrong and cowardly. We actually still think that these two are endgame, but we don't enjoy adultery storylines, so it's a shame the show took us there. The abortion plot was at least interesting. We were surprised that Owen cheated, but we were glad that it wasn't with Nurse Emily. We love Summer Glau. We love Catherine Avery too, and we feel really bad for Morgan. Alex needs to shut it down before he hurts her or he needs to love her back. Callie is usually right, Alex. We can't BELIEVE Meredith and Lexie took out that tumor without consent. These doctors make so many mistakes in this hospital that we shouldn't be surprised, but they absolutely deserve to be sued for that. That was so bad. Of course, Derek took it all on himself, so we have to watch Saint Puppy-Dog Eyes in a lawsuit storyline. Snore.
Episode grade: B

The Secret Circle - Lucky

Faye told her mother about Cassie’s dad?!! Oh Faye, you’re the worst, even though we love you. John Blackwell is still decidedly Team Jake. It’s doubtful that all the adults would be ok with a school hosting a Casino Night. We loved Grant right away and wanted him with Diana so that she will be happy. He seems too perfect though. He donated 100s to the school, he has an accent, he reads books, he’s confident, and he’s cute. Since it’s this show, he has to be evil or something. It was awesome when Cassie almost killed Ethan for stabbing her father. We love when she gets dark and vengeful. John must really be in Cassie’s corner, since he didn’t let her kill Ethan. This is going to cause more rifts between Adam and Cassie. Both those dads are pretty hot. Dilfs. We don’t want either of them gone. We are pretty happy with this show, but the one thing that could make it better is if it became more of an ensemble drama, like a witchy Grey’s Anatomy. Cassie is not as likeable as some of the others, and the whole circle needs equally screen time. Cassie needs to not be the “main character.” There need to be six main characters.

Episode Grade: A-

Community will be back this season!

The excellent Christmas episode will not be the last we see of Community and NBC will also be moving it to a new time slot, far from The Big Bang Theory. Yay! No news of a fourth season yet though.

TV That Made an Impression This Year

 Memorable TV of 2011

The newbies

Once Upon a Time - Arguably the best new network show of the fall season. It brought our beloved LOST writers back to TV and, once again, gave them two worlds to juggle. While we were stunned by the midseason finale, we have to admit it was ballsy and a good episode. Just about everyone loves a good fairy tale, and while critics thought this one was going to be too weird for audiences, the show proved them wrong. This year, this show taught us that viewers want something different and something that the whole family can watch. But not something that infantilizes the audience, like Terra Nova (which one of us likes).

Homeland - Arguably the best new cable show of the fall season. The tension, the characters, the acting, and the writing were all top notch. This show proved that people will be engrossed by complicated characters over flash.

New Girl - This show put quirky, “adorkable,” and weird front-and-center and thus garnered lots of young fans. While this show is groan-inducing because Jess SINGS HER OWN THEME SONG and the character is basically an exaggerated version of the already-existing Zooey Deschanel, we don’t care. We love it. She’s bringing femininity back with her clothes and innocence back with her optimistic attitude. Best of all, the show is funny and the supporting cast is good too. Leeard loves this show so much, that she let's Ern know "I love this show" every time she watches it. Ern knows, dammit.

Happy Endings - This was the only Friends copycat in the recent year that survived, and thank God, because the others were terrible. This one has funny writing with lines that are sometimes said too fast. However, you know a comedy is bringing funny back when it redeems Elisha Cuthbert for a 24 fan.

American Horror Story - We didn’t think a TV show that relied on a shock a minute would work. We thought this would be too much. And yeah, we were right. But we were also entertained for weeks. There’s never been a TV show like this, for better or worse. We don’t want to give anything away for people who haven’t seen it, but this show is not afraid to kill. And it’s not afraid to go to the most messed-up place possible in order to make us s*** our pants in fear.

Revenge - We’ve talked to multiple guys who say that this show hooked them. Stephen King even likes it. It’s rare that a soap aimed at girls can grab just about everyone, but this one did it. It has few (if any) haters, redeemed a so-so actress, and brought us Nolan. The lead is likeable, even though she is bent on revenge. We understand her, but we can’t predict her. It’s one of the better primetime soaps in a while. At first, we thought it was going to be a predictable revenge procedural, but then they brought out the real Emily and things started getting crazy good.

The Playboy Club - This show sucked, and the American audience let everyone know that Hugh Hefner and Playboy are gross, not things that we can emotionally invest in. Thank you, American public, for once. Besides, the show was too tame for the people who would be edgy and liberal enough to embrace it. We will remember this show for being lame and being over very quickly. It wasn’t smart enough to be Mad Men.

Charlie’s Angels - This was one of the worst shows we have ever seen, and that’s saying something. It wasn’t even bad in a fun way. It was just unwatchable. We will remember this for ruining Charlie’s Angels for us forever.

Enlightened - Apparently, this show got good after we dropped out and has been renewed. It made an impression as an off-the-wall, female-driven comedy, and we can respect that. The pilot almost worked, so we can see that it might be worthwhile if it got better, which apparently it has. We’ll be checking it out.

The Killing - We were never under the impression that the mystery would be solved at the end of the first season anyway, so we don’t share everyone else’s rage that we didn’t find out who murdered Rosie. And we don’t care what anyone else says: We think that acting was good. But this show provided a warning to showrunners everywhere: Give us answers, or you will become a joke.

The Chicago Code - A good show that got axed too soon.  Good acting, good villain (especially in the first few episodes, when you weren't 100% sure he was bad), and a satisfying finale, for a show that really could have (and should have) gone on longer.

Game of Thrones - Arguably the best new show of the year, Ern even thought it surpassed the book in enjoyability. Shut up, that’s a word. It stayed true to the book, down to lots of the dialogue, and didn’t hesitate to pull off the book’s infuriating, shocking twists. Nerds have been suffering without intelligent science fiction and fantasy on TV these days, and HBO jumped to fill the void. The details and visuals of the world HBO created was admirable. They didn’t half-ass this. And no one will forget the episode “Baelor” that shocked all the show’s fans who hadn’t read the book.

Off the Map - We will remember this show for being decent and for delivering one of the most unsatisfying conclusions to a series of all time. We still miss this show. It had a pretty and talented cast that needs to get hired again by other shows, ASAP. They deserved better. It was just as good as some seasons of Grey’s and Private Practice! Why didn’t those fans jump on this show? Maybe too much of a popular thing is just too much.

Shameless - This show redeemed Emmy Rossum for us after she came out with that hideous music that didn’t show off her classical voice. Seeing her slumming it in this show and taking care of her siblings was a good trainwreck. We loved everyone in this twisted family, and we will be returning for another visit when the show starts up again. This show was very easy to watch and proved once again that remaking British shows works a lot of the time. Unless it’s Skins. That was a bad idea. People don’t like shows that only exist to shock and stir up controversy. There has to be more to it than that. With Shameless, there was.

The Returning Shows

Breaking Bad - This season perfected the slow burn. Just when we thought this show couldn’t get any better, it masterfully crafted a fustercluck for the ages with Tarantino-like crazy moments. The acting, of course, remained incredible. It was probably the most quality TV this year. Sons of Anarchy lost that award with its snooze-inducing finale. Breaking Bad’s finale left us gasping.

The Office - This was the year that we said goodbye to Michael Scott, which is memorable in itself. His exit was perfect. We also think that the show found a way to be decent again, even without him. It certainly isn’t as bad as The Office’s horrific season six, which had no funny episodes even with Michael. We thought this show was dead, but it may still have life.

Two and a Half Men - This show was already bad and creepy. How many jokes about whores and poop can they do? Those seem to be limitless. Now, the show has betrayed even its most ardent fans by ruining John Cryer’s character. We were told that Alan contemplated STEALING from Ashton Kutcher’s character. Now, fans of this show are stupid. But they don’t deserve to have the character they loved for being a stand up guy turn into Charlie Sheen. The show could have thought of a better way to introduce Ashton’s character. The ratings are still good, but we know the fans are disappointed.

Glee - Made an impression by taking a sweet, believable show and turning it into what we saw this year. A hot and cold, uneven pile of crazy with exactly no likeable characters and mostly bad music.

Parks and Recreation - This year in Parks and Recreation was perfect, especially Lil Sebastian’s funeral. This comedy proves that you don’t have to be mean or sarcastic to be funny. In fact, the characters can be sweet and all love each other. It’s a breath of fresh air.

Friday Night Lights - A solid season ended with a perfect, bittersweet finale. We miss that show.

Big Love - A weird season that ended with a finale we really didn’t like. We know the show ended up being about the family, and that whoever didn’t get that just missed the point. But somewhere around season three, it looked like the show was going to be about Nicki’s awakening to love and real independence. Then she backslid and became first wife. Then Bill died and it just felt like they killed him just so that they would have something to do for an ending. We guess the finale scene with the women was sweet though. And we miss this show too. Also, what happened to Joey? Why did this show waste our lives with him and then just have him just disappear?

Community - The Dungeons and Dragons episode and the one with the multiple timelines were two of the most perfect comedy episodes we’ve encountered. Ever. This show stumbled a little in the beginning of its third season, but for the year overall, it produced creative, funny episodes. Oh oh! Also there was the one where Pierce was “dying” and bequeathed gifts to his study group. Classic. Then the Christmas episode happened, and we just had no words. This show is the best, and if it leaves us forever, at least it went out like that. But it better not leave us forever.

The Good Wife - This is the year that it finally grabbed us. It was always good and watchable, but in 2011, we saw Will and Alicia finally hook up, the cases seemed to get better, we got more Eli Gold, and everything just seemed to get more fast-paced and entertaining. Bravo, show.

Are there any shows that you think made a splash this year? Probably Boardwalk Empire. Yep. We spoiled ourselves there, so we know what happened. Wowser. Should the Grey's Anatomy musical episode have made this list?

Funny Stuff- But too bad there were no abc comedies this week :(

New Girl - “CeCe Crashes”
We were surprised that the Nick and Jess pairing that will so obviously happen was already addressed. CeCe convinced Jess that Nick has feelings for her, and this freaked Jess out a little too much. That’s not a promising start to a relationship. Schmidt spent the episode trying to “close” with CeCe, and he “succeeded” because they slept in the same bed and held hands. Aww. Actually, we see those two together.

Episode grade: B

Up All Night - “First Night Away”
Reagan and Chris find it hard to find time for sex, so they decide to go away for a night. They get a full night of sleep and some sex. Ava babysat and met Reagan and Chris’ neighbor, Kevin, a single dad. Ava and Kevin hit it off and kissed. We really liked this episode because it made great use of Maya Rudolph, who we usually love. Sometimes her character on this show can be too silly, but this week the character was funny and she fit.

Episode grade: A-

South Park - “A History Channel Thanksgiving”
This was one of the weakest recent South Park episodes, but since the show returned in the fall, it has been really strong, so saying an episode is weak by those standards isn’t much of a diss. This episode mocked The History Channel, Thor, and Thanksgiving. It also mocked people who pretend to be part Native American in order to get the benefits and cool points. The Thor and Natalie Portman stuff was pretty funny.

Episode grade: B

America’s Next Top Model - “Nikos Papadopoulos”
Question: Who the hell has Shannon as their role model? We want to SEE these letters written by young girls to Shannon, because we don’t believe that they exist. The blogger writing this entry actually is a Christian and gets made fun of by the guys in her program for dressing too conservatively and appearing “virginal.” This blogger would like to give a big “Go F yourself” to those guys. Moving on… The reason this blogger doesn’t like Shannon is the same reason Nigel was perplexed by her. It IS semantics. It’s all about whether it’s called a bathing suit or panties? Dumb. It’s morals for no reason. She just looked like a hypocrite in her season, so Shannon wanted to come back and redeem herself by continuing to stand up for morality. Unfortunately for her, the producers didn’t have anyone pose nude this time. We know the show only brought Shannon back for drama, and that’s also the reason they brought out the panties again. She was too old to win. We don’t like rules for the sake of rules. There are plenty of things to stand for without making dumb stuff up. Good riddance. Allison is one step closer.

Episode grade: B-

The Office - “Pam’s Replacement”
Only Dwight could repeatedly grab another man’s crotch and have it be totally not gay. We haven’t like Jim and Pam this much in an episode in a long time, however. They were cute and funny. Pairing these two with Dwight is always a success. If only the Robert California/Kevin/Andy/Daryl band hadn’t gotten so much attention. That wasn’t funny, but that drummer was pretty good.

Episode grade: B-

Parks and Recreation - “The Treaty”
We liked seeing Leslie go bloodthirsty for a bit, and we liked watching Ron whip Tom back into shape, but this episode just wasn’t as funny as this show usually is. It was cool to see Ann tell Chris about how she grew as a person after their relationship. The reason he gave up on her WAS because he got bored, because she had stopped being herself. If Ann can find a way to keep her sarcastic, down-to-earth personality while she is around Chris, there might be hope for them to become a couple again. And this time, to become a good one. He needs someone to mock him every once-in-a-while. Also, the moon should totally be part of the U.N.

Episode grade: B

Community - “Studies in Modern Movement”
We’re getting a little sick of the Shirley vs. Britta religion stuff. One of them needs to convert so that they stop it. Also, the Pierce stuff wasn’t very funny. But the Jeff Winger stuff was fantastic. Way to ruin that Seal song for us! Ok, who are we kidding? That song ruins itself. Guilty pleasure, though, for one of us. The Troy/Abed/Annie plot was sweet. This episode had enough laughs and sweet character moments to make it more than enjoyable.

Episode grade: B+

Comedies - Written as we listened to the Glee Christmas soundtrack part two for the first time!

Modern Family - Treehouse
We really liked the Cam and Mitchell storyline and Leslie Mann’s guest-starring role. We also liked the line “It’s like the gift of the vagi.” Ha. Jay and Gloria’s storylines need work, we think. Also, Jay shouldn’t dance with his arms raised over his shoulders if he wants people to see him as a straight man too. That’s a pro tip for all you guys out there. Gay = over the shoulders. Straight = never. Admittedly, Jay did say he was a bad dancer.

Episode grade: B

America’s Next Top Model - Game
Notice we always lump this show in with the comedies. We know you don’t disagree. Anyway, we official ship Game and Allison Harvard harder than just about anyone else on TV right now. We thought she had a bad voice though and that Lisa should have won the challenge. Lisa is really winning us over this season. We were disappointed that Alexandria went home. We thought her video came off as snobby, avant-garde, and fashionable, not awkward, and she had a really interesting voice tone. Game is way more of a sweetheart than we expected. We’re fans now.

Episode grade: B

South Park - 1%
The show gets points for being timely, but man, there was so much wasted opportunity here. We came away unsure of what the South Park guys THOUGHT of the 99% movement, which is disappointing, because we love to know their opinions. They keep us sane and balanced. We came away thinking that Trey and Matt (or Cartman) think that the 99% just want to blame the rich people because they can’t bring themselves to blame Obama, because he is black. We don’t think race has anything to do with it, if that’s what they are saying. People just don’t want to be wrong about their political party or who they voted for, so they always just examine evidence that confirms their original chosen side, race or not. Also, the episode just wasn’t very funny. We are, however, going to occupy somewhere stupid with signs to honor the show and take pictures.

Episode grade: C

New Girl - Naked
Jess saw Nick naked and he freaked out. Bonjour Le Peen. We think the roommates are sometimes too mean to Jess and Jess is sometimes a little too stupid. This episode was funny though, and Lake Bell came on and did her awkward thing.

Episode grade: B

Up All Night - Parents
We liked Reagan’s parents, but this episode just wasn’t as funny as we wanted it to be. And we are starting to agree that Maya Rudolph doesn’t fit the rest of the show. We did like her singing over the video for the dead crewmember though. That was the sole out-loud laugh for us.

Episode grade: C+

Suburgatory - Charity Case
Tessa has trouble getting her school to understand what she is saying when she tells them that they should stop wasting food. In order to let everyone know how the poor live, she brought a homeless transsexual to school, which we think is kind of rude to the homeless transsexual. Still, it was all pretty funny. We need Noah’s character to be fleshed out better in the future.

Episode grade: B

Happy Endings - Lying Around
Brad and Jane lie to each other in order to have staycations. Penny knows some guys who people have tried to set her up with in the past but, since she's happily in a relationship, she lends one to Alex to date. However, Penny becomes jealous and gets him back. Dave makes one of the funniest, most awkward commercials ever, and then Max ruins it by making it good, but forgetting to put the name of the business and what Dave sells in the ad.

Episode grade: B

Community - Advanced Gay
Pierce becomes a gay icon and Jeff kills Pierce’s father. Yeah, it was just as awesome as it sounds. One of us is determined to put an item in her will that will be given to whoever can best be blamed for her death, because that is just a spectacular idea. Also, some Good Will Hunting stuff happened with Trey again, and it was still funny.

Episode grade: B+

Parks and Recreation - End of the World
When a local cult predicts the end of the world, the main characters have to think about their lives and priorities. Tom throws a party, as usual, and April helps Andy complete his bucket list. His bucket list is not as weird as we wanted it to be, but that storyline was sweet. We mourn for Ben and Leslie. The last two episodes have missed the happy energy we like about this show. Episode grade: B

The Office - Doomsday
Dwight comes up with an incentive to scare the office workers into not making mistakes. He’s a sweetheart at the core though, because he called the whole thing off just in time. He and Pam really do have a special, creepy bond. We like that there was more of a focus on Jim, Pam, and Dwight than, like, Erin. This was one of the funnier episodes this season. This show isn’t dead yet.

Episode grade: B+

As for the Christmas album, it was better than the last one. So if you liked that, you'll love this. Sadly, Dianna Agron has no songs on it. AGAIN. Why does the show think we hate her pleasant voice?

Why didn't enough comedies turn in Halloween episodes? (We're looking at you Modern Family and Up All Night)

Happy Endings - “Spooky Endings”
Jane and Brad decide to spend Halloween in the suburbs to get a look at their future, because Jane doesn’t want to raise kids in the city. Jane dresses as Bacon, but Brad forgets his Egg costume. Things go awry when they don’t have enough candy for the big kids. Then it’s war. Penny has Max’s head sticking out of her stomach in a baby Bjorn for her costume. It’s even funnier than it sounds. Dave dresses as Austin Powers, but that was so ten years ago, so no one knows who he is and thinks he is Elton John. Alex gets a raspy voice because she has a cold, dresses as Marilyn Monroe, and is mistaken for a transvestite. This might be our favorite Halloween episode of the season. We’ve just realized how eternally bummed we will be if this show doesn’t stick around.

Episode grade: A

South Park - “Broadway Bro Down”
The South Park guys have gotten a second wind since they don’t have to focus so much on The Book of Mormon and it seems they have re-committed to making the show good. This episode spoofs many Broadway shows, Sondheim, and veganism. For people who like Broadway and recognize the shows and how similar the mock tunes sound to the actual scores, this episode is an even bigger treat. This episode featured less Cartman than we usually like, but it more than made up for it in plentiful crass humor and theater references.

Episode grade: A

Community - “Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps”
Britta gets the gang to share scary stories in order to determine who got a score of “psycho” on her personality test she gave out for psychology class. It turns out Britta put the tests into the scoring machine the wrong way, so when she re-scored them, she found that all of the group’s members were crazy except for one. We love that it was Abed who isn’t the psycho one! That makes the most sense, anyway. This was really funny for people who know the characters of this show, because each person’s scary story fit them so well. We died laughing at Pierce’s. Shirley’s made us hate her a little, but it was still funny.

Episode grade: A-

2 Broke Girls - “And the Disappearing Bed”
Caroline has to put together a Murphy bed without the help of a man. Max has to work up the stones to give Peach a business card for the cupcake business, because Peach is having a birthday party for her children. Both girls succeed in their tasks, with mixed results. Max develops an adorable crush on Johnny from the bar. We like where this was going. This episode was one of the show’s best, and it’s one that we wish had aired early on in the show’s run, so that people checking it out could have used this episode in order to judge the show. Also, what is up with vision boards on TV lately? Who is the lobbyist who got vision boards on multiple shows in less than a week? They should have vision boards on, like, Terra Nova. What is up with vision boards' increasing popularity? The Secret came out years ago, and it's still stupid now.

Episode grade: B+

The Office - “Spooked”
Oh, Office. We dropped you, but then we were bored and marathoned your newest episodes. Not bad. Not good either, but not bad. Good enough to get you back on our watch list. The episode “Garden Party” was the best of the bunch, because it had lots of good Dwight/Jim interactions. The Halloween episode wasn’t too shabby either. The writers nailed the costume choices. We enjoyed Robert California’s plot to figure out everyone’s deepest fears in order to tell the perfect ghost story. We are liking Andy better, especially since he got that tattoo. We still don’t like Erin though. And it looks like we never will.

Episode grade: B

Parks and Recreation - “Meet ‘n Greet”
This episode had way too much Tom, and that’s why it’s gotten the lowest grade of the season so far. While all the characters on this show are necessary and funny, Tom is the least so (even though we love Aziz Ansari). Tom emcees an event for Leslie’s campaign, but it ends up being all about him and his company. In the end, Tom admits to Leslie that his company has failed. We didn’t think this plotline was funny. We were just embarrassed for Tom and Leslie. Fortunately, the B-plot saved it. Andy and April threw a Halloween party to Ben’s displeasure, because they didn’t warn him first. Ron Swanson and Ann fix things around Andy and April’s house rather than join the party. With most of our strongest characters bringing laughs at the Halloween party, Tom had no chance of stealing this show.

Episode grade: B

Suburgatory - “Halloween”
This creatively named episode had Tessa dressing as a mock suburban girl, complete with a bump-it, track suit, and heels. But then her friends tell her that she looks and speaks just like the girl who used to live in Tessa’s house, who went to "a better place". Tessa’s friends perform an exorcism, but then their long-gone classmate returns. Crisis averted? George tries to convince Dallas that being scared can be fun so that Dallas will give him permission to decorate his lawn for Halloween. Yep, there’s a home-owner’s association. George finally meets Dallas’ husband, Steven. Neither of the plots really worked for us, but they were interspersed with good enough jokes that this episode squeaked by with an above average grade. The guillotine helped.

Episode grade: B-

How I Met Your Mother - “Noretta”
It’s finally time for Barney to sleep with Nora, but things on their date keep going wrong and ruining their date. Barney always finds a way to turn it around though. Also, the gang ponders the weirdness of how people tend to end up with someone with similarities to their parents. One of us thought this episode was funny. The end tag was pretty great, and the episode didn’t try to shoehorn a bunch of things in. The other blogger wanted to slap this episode with a big F for being unoriginal and unnecessary filler, but even she has to admit that the concept has merit. People DO end up with their parents a lot of the time. After all, Ern has always been attracted to Republican guys.

Episode grade: C+

Treat Yo Self

2 Broke Girls - "And the Rich People Problems"
Caroline’s advanced Bruxism is acting up, so she and Max sneak into her old place to get her night guard. The cheap dentist is scary. Max is blown away by Caroline’s old things, particularly her bathtub. Then run off with tons of furs and purses that they can’t sell, because they were inventoried. They did get some good sushi though. Lots of good visual comedy in this episode. The girls’ chemistry was at its best in this episode, and this might be the show’s strongest outing so far.

Episode grade: B+

Up All Night - “Mr. Bob’s Toddler Kaleidoscope”
Chris and Reagan take Amy to an advanced playgroup, and Reagan isn’t good at it. Ava feels like Reagan isn’t spending enough time with her and freaks out. One problem: we can’t remember laughing in this episode. Leeard really enjoyed this episode, though.

Episode grade: B-

Suburgatory - “The Chatterer”
George clashes with a mom on his street, Sheila, who is butting in and trying to co-parent Tessa. He joins the PTA to show that he has what it takes to be a good parent. All of the women like him and his advice on how to get along with their husbands, but Sheila is upset that everyone is listening to him. She quits the PTA. George finally realizes that she is the better PTA leader and resigns. Tessa joins the school paper for her elective requirement and turns it into a tabloid full of high school gossip. We liked that plot better when it was on a Nickelodeon cartoon. She eventually regrets her actions and puts the paper back to its original, boring form. Not a great episode, but not bad either.

Episode grade: B

Happy Endings - “Yesandwitch”
If we were casting directors (and we should be), we would totally pick Megan Mullally to play Penny’s mom. Fortunately, the showrunners were thinking the right way and put her on the show as a party singer. When Penny learns that her mother’s positive attitude is a front for hiding her problems (a recent divorce and a career that’s going nowhere), she tries to snap her mother back to reality. Instead, she crushes her, and it took a nice speech plus a musical number to bring her mom back to normal. Jane and Brad take a couples improv class.

Episode grade: B+

South Park -“The Last of the Meheecans”
The boys have a game where half of them pretend to be U.S. border patrol agents. The other half pretend to be Mexicans trying to sneak across the border. When Butters gets lost and is mistaken for a real Mexican, he starts a revolution where all of the Mexicans want to go back to Mexico, because America’s economy sucks now. Cartman volunteers for the real border patrol and is very good at keeping Mexicans from crossing the border. He fails to keep Butters from coming back to the U.S. though. His team loses the game. None of this makes any sense, but it’s South Park, so that’s not surprising. Plus, it was pretty funny.

Episode Grade: B+

Community - “Remedial Chaos Theory”

Troy and Abed invite the rest of their gang to dinner at their new pad. But Jeff starts six different timelines/parallel realities. There are no real plot consequences to this, but this episode was still one of the show’s strongest and funniest, especially for people who know the characters well. We are extremely impressed with this one. The show's still got it, and then some.

Episode grade: A+

Parks and Recreation - “Pawnee Rangers”
Ron Swanson and Leslie Knope have competing children’s clubs, one for boys and one for girls. Leslie’s is more fun. Ron’s is more awesome. The kids don’t know that though, so the boys join the “Pawnee Goddesses,” leaving Ron alone until Leslie starts him a new, unisex club. Meanwhile, Tom and Donna try to teach Ben to relax and shop. He buys a Batman costume and cries over Leslie. That cowl does nothing for him… This was really funny episode, as usual.

Episode grade: A-

If you could have dinner with any famous person, dead or alive, who would it be? Scarlett Johansson. Dead. - One reason we love Suburgatory

America’s Next Top Model - "Anthony Zuiker"
Just give the crown to Allison, already. We agreed with who was kicked off over Lisa, because Lisa is more entertaining, and the point of a TV show is to entertain us. Perfect IS boring. We liked the photo shoot and the acting challenge, which proved that models can’t read. We still don’t like or want to watch CSI.

Episode grade: B

Happy Endings - "Baby Steps"
This episode focused on teenaged brats, plus Max having trouble paying his rent. We love that the solution to that was selling his Beanie Baby collection. Remember when all the adults told kids to keep those secret, keep those safe, because they would be valuable one day? Max was the only kid who did. The episode mocked how teenagers wear tiny, literal baby tees to show off their assets. Penny jumping on the bandwagon was awesome. Jane’s crazy continues to be funny, not annoying, even though the neurotic, perfectionist female character has been done to death.

Episode grade: B+

Up All Night - "New Car"
Chris and Reagan realize that they need a more practical car for their child, so they get drunk and shop for one on the internet. You can guess how well that turned out. This was a sweet episode, if not laugh-out-loud funny. It was a little more grounded and the Ava character was more realistic than last week. We approve of this direction. This show definitely tops Will Arnett and Christina Applegate’s last shows for us.

Episode grade: B-

Suburgatory - "The Barbecue"
Tessa finds herself attracted to the jock next door, because he’s good looking, but she realizes that this is a bad thing, because he is dumb as a rock and has the personality of a piece of bread. This episode had a few laughs, and we’ve realized that this show is the Homeland of comedies (meaning that it’s a sleeper). No one expected it to be good, and it is.

Episode grade: B+

Modern Family - "Door-to-Door"
Will this show ever let Claire be fun? The only plot we liked this week was the one where Jay and Manny had to sell wrapping paper together, especially how Manny capitalized on Jay’s ego. We did enjoy Phil and Luke’s videos. That needs to happen more often. While this show is stuck in repetition mode, it needs to repeat some things that we actually find funny. You know who is adorable? Stella. We want that dog. You know who is not adorable? Lily. We know we are total peens for saying this, but that kid’s face is busted and she just doesn’t have the “cute factor” in her line delivery. That’s not a natural comedic actress right there. They should have stuck with the old kids and just had Lily talk whenever one of those kids started talking. Now that we have bashed the acting skills of a pre-schooler, we’re just going to wrap this up.

Episode grade: B

New Girl - "Wedding"
Jess lost a lot of her inconsistency this episode! It was also a good plot. Nick took Jess as his date to a friend’s wedding, because he was worried about running into his ex. Gretchen and Schmidt were hilarious. The weakest plot was the one with Winston trying to be a great usher. We like the actor, so the show should give him something funny to do. We really, really loved Jess’ British accent (the “slut butler,” haha), and we like the developments between Jess and Nick. We want Jess’ hair so badly. Also, the slow-motion chicken dance? Amazing.

Episode grade: A-

Community - "Competitive Ecology"
The Chang stuff was not funny. The group fighting is getting old. We like when the group is united against something else every once in a while. We enjoyed Todd and his reactions. Hopefully he gets his revenge or something. Overall though, while this episode wasn’t terrible, it is not an example of why we love this show.

Episode grade: C+ But please, don’t let that deter you from watching this show. We never miss it every week, and its numbers aren’t great. So, please watch it.

Parks and Recreation - "Born and Raised"
We loved the riffing on the Obama birth certificate controversy. Pawnee has turned into a bunch of birthers, and poor Leslie is from Eagleton! We love how every single character on this show is both funny and necessary. This episode was sweet and there were multiple chuckles to be found. Leslie and Ben’s sad gaze at each other near the end was just whipped cream on the waffles. This season is great so far. If it had been this good in its first season, this show would probably have The Office's ratings.

Episode grade: A

South Park - "Ass Burgers"
South Park is really hit or miss lately. Wait, who are we kidding? That show has ALWAYS been hit or miss. For every episode that we remember and quote forever, there is an episode that makes us just ask why, God, why. (A Million Little Fibers) This one was actually pretty good though. We loved the implication that adults drink to make the world fun again. It’s about time Cartman (mis)heard about Asperger’s Syndrome. And, of course, South Park jumped on some sort of current event. This time they were mocking the vaccination controversy. We enjoyed their send-up of Adam Sandler and Terra Nova (It’s LOST and Jurassic Park in the same TV show!), the Duck President is still hilarious, and we liked the way the episode ended on a hopeful note for South Park. In the last episode, Matt and Trey had us wondering if they were sick of making South Park. In this episode, they assured us that they love what they do and are thinking of new possibilities for it.

Episode grade: B+

The Annies Should Have Made a Model "Something-That-Actually-Has-Power/Matters"

Parks and Recreation - “Ron and Tammys”

We can’t believe they killed the mustache completely! We know it will be back next week, since Tammy 1 is gone, but we were shocked. It was just so wrong….and risky. Tammy 1’s effect was even funnier than Tammy 2’s. Not only was the Ron-centric A plot hilarious, plots B and C were pretty good too, with Ben trying to save Tom’s business that gives iPads away for free and Ann realizing that she’s definitely over her ex.

Episode grade: A

Community - "Geography of Global Conflict"
We got to see both Britta and Annie devolve into their crazy past selves when they saw their “better” versions. We also saw yet another attempt to use the Chang character. He was best as a teacher, we think. And a Dungeons and Dragons player. This episode was mildly amusing, but not their best.

Episode grade: B

How to Be a Gentleman - "Pilot"
We almost changed the channel in the very beginning, because it was unbearable already, but then Rhys Darby (Flight of the Concords) and Mary Lynn Rajskub came on the screen as a married couple. We decided to stick around for them. We found ourselves wishing the show was about this couple. Instead, it was about a “gentleman” and a guy who is actually from the show Entourage and brought that attitude with him, only he’s less intelligent. The guy who is a gentleman might have worked if he were actually courteous, moral, and sweet.

Instead, he’s obnoxious, unattractive, unfunny, and speaks to his sister in a way that would get us slapped at the dinner table. Does anyone remember that stupid movie Kate and Leopold with Hugh Jackman and Meg Ryan? That’s the kind of gentleman that could have carried this show. The sincere hot one. Not this guy who is so obnoxious that four minutes into the show we were about to rip our ears off. His voice!!! We’d rather watch and listen to the so-called “rude” guy. The plot was weak, the jokes were weak, and there were multiple cameras and laugh tracks. We will never watch this again, and we hope that Rhys and Mary Lynn get off this show soon and get jobs that are worthy of them.

Episode grade: F