Dexter will end this year; Jennifer Lawrence; Suburgatory; Mean Girls Musical

Even though Dexter's ratings are awesome, the execs would rather end the story well than milk the cow until it dies. You read that right. Showtime wants Dexter to have an endgame and go out on a high than drag it out. Great news. Also, poor Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter won't have to work with their exes anymore, haha.

Congrats to Jennifer Lawrence for landing the cover of Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People edition. That's an honor shared by presidents. We love her to death, but we hope the world doesn't get sick of her. This feels over-the-top and like overexposure. But she IS influential to her generation. As long as she keeps churning out great work and carefully picking movies, she should be fine. It wouldn't kill her to lay low before and after Catching Fire though.

Suburgatory ended its season and has been a wonderful, hilarious show during its run. We hope it gets renewed. It's on the bubble.

In amazing news, Tina Fey has been talking about making Mean Girls into a musical. Can we pre-order tickets yet? Amanda Seyfried wants to play Regina. We don't think she has a "mean girl" singing voice. She sounds like a Disney princess. That's a no from us, but maybe she'll have a better shot at convincing Tina.

The Rest of the Shows We Watched

Well, Ern decided to go goof around at Disney World for three days. If you saw a grown-ass woman trotting around Hollywood Studios, swinging a blue lightsaber and making dinosaur noises, then you saw  Ern. Sadly, that means no one watched new shows Touch and Missing yet, since that was Ern's job. Hopefully that will happen shortly/next week. But here are the rest! Thank Leeard, mostly, lol.

Sunday
GCB - Hell Hath No Fury
Leeard is still enjoying this show, but we're both hoping some things change in the next few weeks. It's getting repetitive and it's only been on for two weeks.
Episode Grade: B

House of Lies - Ouroboros
Marty finally found out that Jeannie is engaged, but plays it off to help her save face with Wes. Monica is mad that Marty is seeing someone else, so she files for sole custody. Oh Monica. You dumb, crazy bitch. Marty's new girlfriend is great with Roscoe and we hate Monica, so we're rooting for Marty. Also, Monica's consulting firm is doing the due diligence for the MetroCapital merger, which obviously sucks for Marty.
Episode Grade: B

Monday
Alcatraz - Clarence Montgomery
A man is sent to Alcatraz after being wrongfully convicted of murder. We should mention that he's black and he was convicted in the 1960s. He's in our time now and actually committing crimes. Apparently, he was brainwashed back in Alcatraz so he's convinced he's guilty and won't be anything but a murder for the rest of his life. He finds an old friend from the rock who notices he hasn't aged. When Rebecca, Doc and Hauser find Clarence at his friend's apartment, Clarence asks his friend to kill him so he both stops murdering and doesn't go back to jail. Hauser is upset, because Clarence had the lady doctor's blood type and could've saved her life.
Episode Grades: C

Tuesday
Switched at Birth - The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters
Part of this episode was pretty cool. We like that Bay and Daphne teamed up for Emmett's birthday gift - making a deaf zombie movie. Too bad he doesn't deserve it, because he and Simone are acting cagey as hell pretending that they didn't sleep together at the basketball tournament. Wilke finds out because he accidentally reads Simone's texts with Emmett and he obviously disapproves. We obviously disapprove because Simone is the worst. We don't really know how to feel about Emmett not telling Bay. The truth is obviously going to come out eventually (probably next week, since that's the season finale), and it's not going to be pretty.
Episode Grade: B

Cougar Town - A One Story Town
That end tag was probably the best ever. So funny, even for people who don't love Scrubs. Jules got way too involved in the lives of her friends, as usual, but it's always out of love. She tried to set Bobby and Travis' photography professor (Angie) on the perfect date leading to the perfect kiss, because Bobby is a horrible date but the best kisser (according to Jules). Obviously, things go awry, but it obviously ends up all right. This is honestly one of the shows we wish we could live in.
Episode Grade: A

Body of Proof - Identity
We are so sick of crime shows doing an episode with this plot. Two girls who look similar are in a car accident in which one dies. They're misidentified at the scene. Seriously, when we were watching and found out that two girls had been in the car accident we said to the tv "please don't do this plot, you're better than that". Unfortunately, the show didn't listen to us. We still really like Megan and Aiden (mainly because Jamie Bamber is gorgeous and we miss Battlestar Galactica), but this show needs to stop recycling plots from every other crime show.
Episode Grade: D

Wednesday
Suburgatory - Independence Day
Tessa wants to become an independent, self-sufficient woman, so she gets a job at Dallas' crystal store. George worries that there's something going on in Tessa's life that she won't share with him. He finds the poem she wrote for the cool teacher's poetry class and worries even more about if this means that Tessa wants to see her mother. He meets with Tessa's maternal grandmother to see if she or her daughter (Tessa's mother) want to see Tessa. Apparently they don't. Whatever, Tessa is awesome and they're missing out. Also awesome: Dallas. She and Tessa are probably the best things about the show.
Episode Grade: B+

Thursday
The Office - Get the Girl
Andy drives down to Florida to get Erin to come back to Scranton with him. He succeeds of course. In Scranton, Nellie has arrived for a job in the branch and, seeing Andy's office has no one sitting in it, decides she'd be a good manager. She gives everyone a raise and somehow convinces Robert California of her talents. Not that she really has any. It was a weird episode.
Episode Grade: B-

Community - Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts
If this episode hadn't been the first after an extended break, it would have been fine. As it was, it definitely didn't live up to our expectations. Granted, it's Community, so it's still hilarious (like Troy and Abed "de-whimsifying" themselves). We really wish we had gotten to see Troy and Abed's 24-hour marathon of weird in the dreamatorium.
Episode grades: A-

The Vampire Diaries - 1912
We can't believe that after all our complaining about Alaric death fake-outs, we found out that all the dying was for a reason. That was leading up to something! Dying too often and being saved by the ring messes with your head. This show is so brilliant. Even the stuff that annoys us turns out to be important. We found out that the person who made Damon a bad guy was a vampire named Sage. We bet she's doing MMA now. Damon and Stefan grow closer, and Elena and Matt share quality time together. Matt is STILL in love with Elena, at least a little bit. Poor thing. Although we enjoyed it, this episode won't get a perfect grade, because we think it's dumb that Meredith shot Alaric for his own good, and Liz acted irrationally. Their actions just didn't make sense.
Episode Grade: B

Grey's Anatomy- One Step Too Far
There is yet another gap for this show, and it's driving us crazy. At least other shows have ONE long gap and maybe two. This one seems to have about five per season. About the episode...well, everyone is on Team Cristina at this point, right? The abortion was debatable in some circles and we could at least half understand her point. But cheating is always wrong and cowardly. We actually still think that these two are endgame, but we don't enjoy adultery storylines, so it's a shame the show took us there. The abortion plot was at least interesting. We were surprised that Owen cheated, but we were glad that it wasn't with Nurse Emily. We love Summer Glau. We love Catherine Avery too, and we feel really bad for Morgan. Alex needs to shut it down before he hurts her or he needs to love her back. Callie is usually right, Alex. We can't BELIEVE Meredith and Lexie took out that tumor without consent. These doctors make so many mistakes in this hospital that we shouldn't be surprised, but they absolutely deserve to be sued for that. That was so bad. Of course, Derek took it all on himself, so we have to watch Saint Puppy-Dog Eyes in a lawsuit storyline. Snore.
Episode grade: B

The Secret Circle - Lucky

Faye told her mother about Cassie’s dad?!! Oh Faye, you’re the worst, even though we love you. John Blackwell is still decidedly Team Jake. It’s doubtful that all the adults would be ok with a school hosting a Casino Night. We loved Grant right away and wanted him with Diana so that she will be happy. He seems too perfect though. He donated 100s to the school, he has an accent, he reads books, he’s confident, and he’s cute. Since it’s this show, he has to be evil or something. It was awesome when Cassie almost killed Ethan for stabbing her father. We love when she gets dark and vengeful. John must really be in Cassie’s corner, since he didn’t let her kill Ethan. This is going to cause more rifts between Adam and Cassie. Both those dads are pretty hot. Dilfs. We don’t want either of them gone. We are pretty happy with this show, but the one thing that could make it better is if it became more of an ensemble drama, like a witchy Grey’s Anatomy. Cassie is not as likeable as some of the others, and the whole circle needs equally screen time. Cassie needs to not be the “main character.” There need to be six main characters.

Episode Grade: A-

Is the Hunger Games Out Yet? (No, obviously, because we aren't living behind the movie theater waiting for each showing)

This week was really crazy, so as you can see, we are a few episodes behind on some of our favorite shows. Boo. Also, a lot of shows didn't have a new episode this week. Double boo. We hope to be caught up very soon, but this week is spring break and we always have crazy plans for spring break. We're sure we'll watch something though. 

Monday shows: 
Pretty Little Liars - Father Knows Best
After the last couple of weeks, another run-of-the-mill PLL episode wasn't going to wow us. We felt really bad for Spencer's dad during this episode. Emily's dad is awesome. Aria is donning the red coat when she meets yet another player in this game (new guy Duncan). Thank God it's March. It's time to find out who A is already. It cannot come too soon. Unless the reveal sucks.
Episode Grade: B-

The Lying Game - Weekend of Living Dangerously
EMMA SLAPPED SUTTON! Who cares about what else happened in the episode because EMMA SLAPPED SUTTON! And it was awesome! Also, pretty much nothing else happened in this episode. Well, Sutton and Thayer found out that Rebecca has a picture of Ted in her locket (which they discovered held a picture of the love of her life) and Emma and Ethan almost had sex. Ethan finally confessed the ranch kiss to Emma, and they broke up for good. It was actually a pretty boring episode, but that slap guaranteed it'd be getting nothing less than an A from us.
Episode Grade: A

Hart of Dixie - Tributes & Triangles
Okay, first things first: does this episode title remind anyone else of The Hunger Games? Just us? Well okay then. George won some Man of the Year thing and Lavon hosted party in his honor (which obviously sucked for him). Zoe made a big speech at the party and now basically everyone knows that she's in love with George. Honestly, this was probably the best episode so far. When Zoe told George that she got her father to do his dad's surgery, Leeard teared up. This show is a lot better than it has any right to be.
Episode Grade: A-

Smash - The Cost of Art
While we continue to love Julia and root for Karen, this show just keeps having non-eventful episodes. Nick Jonas guest starred and is now funding the Marilyn workshop. Karen got a much-needed makeover (both with style and attitude). Whatever. A Jonas brother will not save this show and we are surprised that was what they tried. They should go full Broadway, take more risks, and have stuff happen. One of us likes Katherine McPhee, but the other of us wonders if her lack of charisma is what is tanking the show.
Episode Grade: C

How I Met Your Mother - Karma

Barney found out that Quinn is a dancer at his favorite strip club and thinks he's dating her, when really he's paying tipping her a bunch of money. Robin moved out of Ted's apartment and into Lily and Marshall's house (temporarily). Everyone realizes that Long Island sucks and moves the heck back into Manhattan, since Ted was nice enough to give Lily and Marshall his apartment. We're left wondering what the heck Ted and Robin are going to do and frankly only one of us cares anymore.
Episode Grade: C+

Tuesday shows: 

Switched at Birth - Write a Lonely Soldier
Emmett found out that Bay had been emailing Ty while he's been in Afghanistan and he got upset. Daphne helped Travis, a student at Carlton, get a job at John's car wash, but he quickly gets fired when he gets in an argument with an important customer. Daphne goes to his house and realizes how difficult his family situation is, with parents who don't know any sign language and a younger brother who only wants to know the curse signs. It's actually pretty depressing and helps explain his earlier attitude. Travis tells John he'll work on communicating better. Overall, it was a pretty good episode. We just with Emmett would stop being stupid.
Episode Grade: B

Jane By Design - The Getaway

Well, Ben finally found out about Jane's real job. Jane and India went to California for the weekend to look for a new location for a Donovan Decker store. Nick realized that Jane would never choose him over her job and Lulu realized that Billy would never choose her over Jane, so both of those relationships appear to be over. Well, to be fair, Ben overheard India make a comment about how Jane shouldn't hook up that night, which didn't help matters. After coming to those revelations, Nick and Lulu kissed. We're actually pretty bummed that Nick and Jane broke up; they were a cute couple, if not at all realistic.
Episode Grade: B

Cougar Town - Lover's Touch
This show is just so, so good. It's funny, it's touching, and it's gotta hang around for a few more seasons. Jules has been neglecting Grayson to focus on the wedding, and he is bummed he hasn't been getting much affection. Then Travis gets into an accident and Grayson gets neglected even more. While Travis keeps telling Jules not to worry about him, Jules gives a speech that, honestly, Leeard's mom has given before. Jules tells Travis that even though he's almost 20 and in college, she's still his mother and she will continue to worry about him and his safety until the day she dies. It's a very touching scene. We love this show.
Episode Grade: A

Wednesday shows:
Suburgatory - Poetic Injustice
Oh Tessa. That poetry teacher was super weird, not super cool, as was Dalia's poetry. George and Dallas finally seem to be getting closer, so that's pretty exciting. This show never really has much of a plot, but it cracks us up on a regular basis, so we appreciate that.
Episode Grade: B+

Happy Endings - Cocktails & Dreams
This show, guys. We don't have sex dreams about Dave, but we kind of wish we did so we could be a part of that group.
Episode Grade: A-

America's Next Top Model- Kelly Osbourne
At least they didn't kick of the girl with the cutest accent yet. However, so far this season is descending into ANTM's trashy worst. What happened to real photo shoots? Why would you pair some of those famous figures. We have no favorite so far, but this show entertains us and always hooks us on the makeover episode. 
Episode grade: C+


Thursday shows: 
The Office - Test the Store

Andy got beaten up by a little girl while trying to defend Pam. Kelly used to be a bully (which we are not at all surprised by). The Florida group opened the test store to "bloggers" (um why weren't we invited?!) to some pretty positive feedback.
Episode Grade: C+

Movies: We saw Act of Valor, a movie that most everyone wants to see (OK, mostly guys), but critics say is underwhelming. Who is right? Well, the reason we go see that movie is to see bad ass Navy Seal action. Let's face it, this isn't the newest Christopher Nolan movie. If anyone is looking for nuance, grey areas, political correctness, an objective look at the military, or multidimensional characters, they can look elsewhere. We want to see Seals be awesome and that's it. The movie delivers that, and so it is a success for its audience. There is a formulaic plot in which the Seals show us what they do. When the explosions, shooting, chasing, and other fighting are going on, the movie is good and realistic. It's exactly what we are here to see. But then they have to stop and talk to each other. Those scenes range from cheesy to unintentionally hilarious. The acting is some of the worst we've ever seen, but the guys are real Seals, not actors. The script and dialogue are unworthy of these heroes, and we wish other people had been involved making it. The end message and action are good; the overall movie is unfortunate. If you like good movies, don't go see this one. If you like action, America, and Navy Seals, do. We like all of the above, so we're giving this a mixed grade of B-. Ern re-watched Warrior to make her dad and brother see it. They liked it. 

Books: We read Fever by Lauren DeStefano, the sequel to Wither. For a book where the bulk of it was spent wandering around, getting sidelined, and trying to look for Rhine's brother, it was pretty entertaining. It didn't move the plot along much and ended with a frustrating cliffhanger, but the end was truly creepy. This book is darker than the first, which was good, but we had to spend most of the sequel waiting for the exciting characters and moments. That is why the first book was better, but the second book sure wasn't bad. There was a lot of suspense built up to when and if we would see anyone from the mansion again. We await the conclusion eagerly. Grade: B


OLD SHOW ALERT: Ern finished season one of Veronica Mars. A lot of it feels like Wonderfalls in tone, especially when they brought in the Russian bride thing. That's not a bad thing. Ern can't decide if she's a Logan fan or not, but it's pretty clear at this point that he's endgame. It was cool how he stood up for her in front of his friends. It's going to be weird going into season two to have Veronica back in people's good graces, but with writing like this, Ern is pretty sure it's still going to be good. Clash of the Triton: A+, Lord of the Bling: B, Mars v. Mars: B+, Ruskie Business: B-, Betty and Veronica: A-, Kanes and Abels: B, Weapons of Class Destruction: A, Hot Dogs: A-, M.A.D.: B+, A Trip to the Dentist: A+, Leave It to Beaver: A+

The Oscars were boring, but TV was not.

Sunday shows:
Shameless - A Bottle of Jean Nate
We liked the stuff with Kevin and V mourning the loss of Ethel. We were horrified at Jody's sexual habits. When is "Kiss from a Rose" going to catch a break? That's a pretty song. Jasmine is a sketchball, but Fiona sort of did owe her a place to stay. 
Episode grade: B

Once Upon a Time - What Happened to Frederick
The stranger has a name, and it's August. We still miss Graham, but August is growing on us. In fact, his scenes with Emma might have been the highlight of this episode. We also really loved that Abigail/Kathryn has her own love. The evil queen's curse actually did something for Kathryn's happiness! It stopped her from leaving Storybrooke and going to law school. 
Episode grade: B

House of Lies - Bareback Town
We already knew that Marty has no morals, but this episode finally proved it. He threw one of the client's employees (someone he's known for years) under the bus just to keep the client. This will not go over well, since she has a new job with the competitor. We really enjoyed this episode because, though he has proven and will continue to prove that he has no scruples when it comes to his job, he's actually starting to care for the stripper we met in the pilot. He's just such a confusing man. His ex-wife is absolutely insane (or, well, more insane than we already knew) if she thinks that she could get full custody of Roscoe. Not only are you certifiably crazy, you're on the road as much as Marty is, and Roscoe's grandfather takes care of him when Marty isn't around. She probably has some psycho tricks up her sleeve though, not that she's usually wearing shirts when we see her onscreen.
Episode Grade: B+

Monday shows:
Pretty Little Liars - Breaking the Code
We have another couple we like: Wren and Spencer. How adorable are they? He brings out her sexy, drunk, even crazier side. Mona just made a bid to become one of our favorite characters. You can't threaten someone who isn't afraid of the truth. What a freaking bad ass. Mona is a great friend. This episode might have even ended with Maya's death. The show did spoil that there would be a death. We almost got rid of Ezra, who keeps chickening out. Aria has to always put the pieces back together and find a way for them to date. Now Ella is helping them work it out? Ugh. But we still think Ella is the best parent on this show of pretty awesome parents. This episode had some great emotion and is starting to address all the Melissa theorists. That probably means it isn't Melissa, unless they want to reveal A's identity before the finale. Doubt it. 
Episode grade: A

The Lying Game - Not Guilty as Charged
Wow how much does Sutton suck? While there are quite a few times that we enjoy her as a character, most of the time we just wish the tv series had started in the same way as the book series - with Sutton's death. Anyway, Ethan's case was dropped due to insufficient evidence, so that's definitely the last we'll be hearing about that case, right? Ha! Sutton pretended to be Emma and told Ethan that she (Emma) had slept with Thayer when Ethan and Sutton were hiding out on the ranch after Ethan told her (Sutton pretending to be Emma) that he had made out with Sutton but that she doesn't mean anything to him. Ouch, but seriously Sutton - you're the worst. You totally deserved that. Sutton then told Emma that she (Sutton) and Ethan slept together on the ranch. We hate you so, so much Sutton. Mads finally called Sutton out on being basically the world's worst friend, and while that might make a normal person change her ways, this is Sutton we're talking about. Also, Laurel and Baz are heading in the right direction, which we're pretty excited about. Justin is a horrible boyfriend and person, and Laurel deserves so much better, because she's pretty awesome.
Episode Grade: B

Hart of Dixie - Snowflakes & Soulmates
Lemon and George tried to elope, but obviously that wasn't going to happen. Lavon got his parents back together and broke up with Didi, because he's obviously still in love with Lemon. Zoe tried to send some macaroons to her dad in Germany, but found out that he moved back to New York and hasn't tried to contact her. Ouch. She and Brick had a little heart-to-heart about that while Zoe drove him to South Carolina (for Lemon and George's elopement which, again, was never actually going to happen). All in all, a pretty decent episode for this show that one of us likes more than is rational.
Episode Grade: B

Smash - Enter Mr. DiMaggio
Ugh. We almost got a male character involved in the show who was straight and not a douche. But it turns out he slept with a married woman and is being awfully friendly to her now that they are reunited. Julia cheated on her caveman! We like the new character though, and we like how that assistant is turning into a full-on villain. The songs were ok, although we don't know that "Redneck Woman" needed to be covered by this show. At least the rock version of "Grenade" made sense in the plot. 
Episode grade: B

The Voice - Blind Auditions Part 4
The only notable voices in this episode, in our opinion, were Jamie Lono (who sang "Folsom Prison Blues") and Charlotte Sometimes (who sang "Apologize"). Jamie really brought something to "Folsom Prison Blues", and honestly, and version of a Johnny Cash song that doesn't immediately make us go "ugh please stop" is really, really good, because we love Johnny Cash. We're glad he's on Team CeeLo. Charlotte Sometimes a) cannot be her real name and b) reminded us of Xenia a little too, so we're glad she's on Team Blake.
Episode Grade: B

How I Met Your Mother - No Pressure

Shockingly, despite lack of early-season hilarity, we liked this one. Maybe it was the hopeful, smart ending. Maybe it was the inclusion of Florence and the Machine's "Shake It Out." Maybe it was how much we were reminded that Marshall and Ted are such great friends. But, overall, this episode did not leave us annoyed and angry, like the last couple. We wish Marshall had paid up at the end though, since we know Robin isn't the mother.

Episode grade: B

Being Human - "Addicted to Love" and "Mama Said There'd Be Decades Like This"

Sally is a rapist who drove a woman crazy now, and Josh is concerned. We're not gonna lie, we thought it was awesome when Josh went to town on Nora's Chris Brown. But it was even more awesome when Nora and the siblings killed him. That storyline was part of the wolves' downward spiral, but this particular step in the downfall wasn't entirely unwelcome. This season, we are liking Nora and Josh more as a couple. We got to see why Mother punished Suren in the first place, meaning that we got a few more shots of Aidan's hideous little mustache. We loved the twist that Henry, Aidan's traitorous underling, was alive. We weren't digging the ghost/imaginary Bishop. Also, we were shocked when Josh traded the purebred siblings for Nora/his freedom. That's pretty rude, but we don't blame him.
Episode grades: B and B

Tuesday shows:
Glee - On My Way
NOOOOOOO Quinn! Maybe you aren't as sad as we are about Q, but we've always liked her. Even when she acted psycho, she at least had a reason to be a jerk, unlike when Mercedes started acting douche-y this season. Quinn's recent good advice, good decisions, and that moment where she advised both Rachel and Mercedes when they went through their "looks insecurity" phase makes her someone we root for. We can't believe we have to wait until April to find out if Quinn is OK, although we are guessing she ___, because of these set photos. Glee did manage to send an important message about texting while driving, we guess. Glee made us cry this week. Literally. And over KAROFSKY, so, bravo show. We know we have a lot of teen readers and that those years can be hard. (Not that suicide is just for teens) If you ever feel hopeless and hate yourself enough to consider suicide, please call a hotline and/or keep fighting. It really will pass and you don't want to give whatever is trying to tear you down a victory. Getting help and sticking around shows that, while you have your problems and life sucks right now, you're a bad ass and won't go down, ever. In "what the hell?" news, Sue is pregnant and the Finchel wedding was moved to right after Regionals (although Quinn's crash might stop it). Also, New Directions won at Regionals. The third place show choir might have been the funniest thing about this episode. We were disappointed in the Kelly Clarkson song, because the voices just didn't have the same oomph as Kelly's. It was a misfire. Also, Rachel's solo didn't fit her voice at all (the original version of the song is fun though). We feel cheated, but not by the cliffhanger and hour-long anti-suicide PSA. Lots of people thought that stuff was sensational and cheap, but we thought it was nice, shocking, and that it fit the show. They hadn't really ever addressed that topic and honestly, given the characters they have, we're surprised it took them this long.
Episode grade: A

Switched at Birth - The Art of Painting
Regina had her art show and Bay was jealous, but got over it (basically). Emmet is still doing speech therapy, and told Bay he wants to drop out of school because he thinks getting a GED is the same as a high school diploma and he doesn't need any more than that to be a photographer. Bay told Emmet's mom, and she forced Emmet to go back to school. Bay, you did the right thing. Don't let Emmet make you think differently. Also, Daphne found out that the Carlton women's basketball team is going to be cut, so she leaves Buckner to go back to her old school. We're glad, since it didn't really make sense that she could leave in the first place. Side note: we really don't mention this show enough. We're working on rectifying that.
Episode Grade: B

Jane By Design - The Wedding Gown
Donovan Decker designed a wedding dress for "American royalty" that the soon-to-be princess didn't love, so Jeremy, India, Carter, and Jane had to stay late to make a new dress for her. Of course, infallible Jane designs a gorgeous gown, that India takes credit for. While we like that India tried to give Jane credit while showing the dress to Jeremy, we wish she would've just owned up to it when Jane told Jeremy that it was her design. We get it, India sucks and Jane is awesome. Anyway, of course the future princess loves Jane's design (which was based on Jane's mother's gown), but the redesign process caused Jane to miss a date with Billy and Nick. Luckily, it gives the boys time to bond and they become friendly. Honestly, this show isn't great, but Erica Dasher (who plays Jane) is just so, so likeable.
Episode Grade: B

Wednesday shows:
Suburgatory - Fire with Fire
Other than Happy Endings and Cougar Town, this is probably the funniest show that no one is watching. We haven't really looked into the ratings, but no one we know watches Suburgatory. Dallas filed for divorce and is feeling and looking better than ever. This inspires Noah's wife to leave him. He wins her back by pretty much every romantic gesture we can think of. Dalia is still upset at Tessa for "stealing" Scott Strauss so she steals Lisa as a friend. Tessa fights back and steals Kamantha as a friend, and Lisa comes back when she sees Kamantha and Malik doing the Dougie at a school dance. Re-reading this paragraph makes us wonder how this show is actually as funny as it is, because nothing in the recap really stands out. Trust us though, it's laugh out loud funny.
Episode Grade: B+

Thursday shows:
Secret Circle
There was no new episode this week, but we have a question: Why did no one point out to us that Daddy is SULLY from Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman? Yeah, we should have noticed ourselves, but he was covered in beard, had short hair, and has aged a bit. Still. That's important information.

The Office - After Hours
Ryan tries to hit on Erin, but either realizes he's "in love with Kelly" when Erin says something about waiting six months to do it or realizes he doesn't want to wait six months for Erin when he has a sure thing waiting in Scranton. Nellie tries to sleep with Dwight. Kathy tries to sleep with Jim. Dwight preventing hookups might just be the best thing this show has done in a while. Sidenote: Poor Darryl.
Episode Grade: B

Parks and Recreation - Sweet Sixteen
The Ron/Leslie relationship is so darling. Ann and Ron are STILL happening, despite April's best efforts (go April!). It looks like Chris is depressed about that. Jerry's birthday surprise was hilarious when only Ben popped up. We love this show. 
Episode grade: A-

Grey's Anatomy - If Only You Were Lonely
Cristina thinks Owen is cheating and Meredith's VO left us unsure. Either Cristina is crazy, or one of our favorite geek goddesses (Summer Glau) is banging Cristina's husband. If Owen cheats, we will be firmly on team Cristina, forever, rather than our current team, which is "Team Both of You Are Wrong But For Good Reasons." You all know we don't care about the Chief and Adele, but this episode made even us feel bad for them. The stuff with Zola's hair was dumb. Bailey just should have told Derek right away. We loved the peds case. The shrapnel in the guy's chest was disgusting. Overall, this was emotional, funny Grey's at its best. 
Episode grade: A

Movies: We watched Courageous, which is definitely a Christian movie. Why is Christian stuff is so bad usually, in modern times? Religious music, like Handel's Messiah, used to be the most beautiful stuff around. There is some good Christian music, but most of it sounds lame. Christian-themed books, like Dostoevsky's stuff, Dante's Inferno, or Lord of the Rings used to be deep and subtle. Courageous was one of the better Christian films we've seen, and it still wasn't very good. Its worst crime was hammering moral points home in such an overt way that it insulted its audience. The audience should be able to apply ideas to life themselves and pick out the themes, not have it spelled out for them. Most of the acting was bad. The plot was all over the place. The movie was hard to get through, and the heavy-handed dialogue proves that just because something is labeled "Christian" doesn't make it good, unless the message of movies are all that matter to you and you are a Christian. We feel cheated, because the opening scene was cool.  Grade: D 

Books: We read Moon Called by Patricia Briggs, which is the first in a series. The reason we read it was because we saw a reviewer call it "everything the Anita Blake books should be." Now, the Anita Blake books are entertaining reads with a LOT of problems (not the least of which being the main character turning into a super slut and the books having no plots halfway through the series), so a series that fixed those problems appealed to us. The main character of Moon Called, Mercy, can turn into a coyote because of some Native American blood. We were not enthused about this because that's not a very cool power. However, Mercy is a cool girl, even if it took her half a book to grow on us. She's less of a Mary Sue than Anita. Her neighbors are a pack of werewolves, a couple of witches, and a few vampires. We didn't see a lot of the vampires, but what we saw was good and creepy. The book started off entertaining, then it slowed to a crawl just before halfway through. Fortunately, it picked up and got entertaining again in the second half. We started to like the secondary characters and could see them being set up like pieces on what should be an entertaining chess board in subsequent books. There's a nice love triangle shaping up. We're team Adam so far. We're not obsessed with this series yet, but we will read another book. 
Grade: B

OLD SHOW ALERT:
Ern is watching Veronica Mars for the first time. She's 11 episodes in, and it's everything everyone says it is. It has a quick wit and snappy dialogue, Kristen Bell will win you over in at least the first couple of episodes, and you will actually care about the overarching plotlines. Bell plays the titular character, a high school girl who works for her PI dad. The show is so good that Ern doesn't even care when Veronica blatantly breaks laws that even PIs have to follow, as if she can't get in trouble. She's just that cool. This is one of those shows like Firefly and Arrested Development that no one watched (even though it got 3 seasons), but everyone should regret their decision that now that the DVDs are out to binge upon. We hear quality drops in season three, but we will tell you if it's worth watching in that final season. This show is smart, funny, and there is drama to spare. Don't you want to see what The O.C. would be like if it were a Twin Peaks-esque mystery instead of a soap opera? There's a gangster kid named WEEVIL. Weevil love you long time. There are a lot of great guest stars (except for Paris Hilton), including future Oscar nominee Jessica Chastain, Aaron Paul, Schmidt on New Girl (whom Leeard calls "Deputy Leo from Veronica Mars" when she watches New Girl), and Josh on Being Human. We recognize someone new every episode. This is one of Leeard's all-time favorite shows, with good reason. Ern is happy Leeard is making her watch it. Leeard is gloating, since she's been trying FOREVER to get Ern to watch it, and is finally vindicated.
Pilot grade: A-, Credit Where Credit's Due: A, Meet John Smith: B+, The Wrath of Con: A-, You Think You Know Somebody: B+, Return of the Kane: B, The Girl Next Door: B-, Like a Virgin: B+, Drinking the Kool-Aid: B+, An Echolls Family Christmas: A, and Silence of the Lamb: A-

Music:
Ern hates most country music, but has come around to Miranda Lambert due to Miranda's attitude about Chris Brown. Leeard notes, "Duh, Miranda Lambert music is good." Miranda is as not-ok with Brown's comeback as Ern is and said, "Where I come from, it's never OK to hit a woman...that's why my daddy taught me to use a shotgun early on." Amen. While Leeard still enjoys Brown's music, Ern thinks he forfeited the right to be famous and have his art heard when he hit a woman, even if Rihanna forgives him. Miranda held up a sign that said "take notes Chris Brown" during a performance of her song "Gunpowder and Lead." It's about a woman shooting an abusive husband. "I'm gonna show him what little girls are made of/gunpowder and lead." It's a good song, even to the ears of a country hater. Also, Ern has finally gotten the Mumford and Sons CD and it's good, especially the lyrics. Due to the Glee episode, we bought Young and the Giant's CD too. Also good.

Comedies - Written as we listened to the Glee Christmas soundtrack part two for the first time!

Modern Family - Treehouse
We really liked the Cam and Mitchell storyline and Leslie Mann’s guest-starring role. We also liked the line “It’s like the gift of the vagi.” Ha. Jay and Gloria’s storylines need work, we think. Also, Jay shouldn’t dance with his arms raised over his shoulders if he wants people to see him as a straight man too. That’s a pro tip for all you guys out there. Gay = over the shoulders. Straight = never. Admittedly, Jay did say he was a bad dancer.

Episode grade: B

America’s Next Top Model - Game
Notice we always lump this show in with the comedies. We know you don’t disagree. Anyway, we official ship Game and Allison Harvard harder than just about anyone else on TV right now. We thought she had a bad voice though and that Lisa should have won the challenge. Lisa is really winning us over this season. We were disappointed that Alexandria went home. We thought her video came off as snobby, avant-garde, and fashionable, not awkward, and she had a really interesting voice tone. Game is way more of a sweetheart than we expected. We’re fans now.

Episode grade: B

South Park - 1%
The show gets points for being timely, but man, there was so much wasted opportunity here. We came away unsure of what the South Park guys THOUGHT of the 99% movement, which is disappointing, because we love to know their opinions. They keep us sane and balanced. We came away thinking that Trey and Matt (or Cartman) think that the 99% just want to blame the rich people because they can’t bring themselves to blame Obama, because he is black. We don’t think race has anything to do with it, if that’s what they are saying. People just don’t want to be wrong about their political party or who they voted for, so they always just examine evidence that confirms their original chosen side, race or not. Also, the episode just wasn’t very funny. We are, however, going to occupy somewhere stupid with signs to honor the show and take pictures.

Episode grade: C

New Girl - Naked
Jess saw Nick naked and he freaked out. Bonjour Le Peen. We think the roommates are sometimes too mean to Jess and Jess is sometimes a little too stupid. This episode was funny though, and Lake Bell came on and did her awkward thing.

Episode grade: B

Up All Night - Parents
We liked Reagan’s parents, but this episode just wasn’t as funny as we wanted it to be. And we are starting to agree that Maya Rudolph doesn’t fit the rest of the show. We did like her singing over the video for the dead crewmember though. That was the sole out-loud laugh for us.

Episode grade: C+

Suburgatory - Charity Case
Tessa has trouble getting her school to understand what she is saying when she tells them that they should stop wasting food. In order to let everyone know how the poor live, she brought a homeless transsexual to school, which we think is kind of rude to the homeless transsexual. Still, it was all pretty funny. We need Noah’s character to be fleshed out better in the future.

Episode grade: B

Happy Endings - Lying Around
Brad and Jane lie to each other in order to have staycations. Penny knows some guys who people have tried to set her up with in the past but, since she's happily in a relationship, she lends one to Alex to date. However, Penny becomes jealous and gets him back. Dave makes one of the funniest, most awkward commercials ever, and then Max ruins it by making it good, but forgetting to put the name of the business and what Dave sells in the ad.

Episode grade: B

Community - Advanced Gay
Pierce becomes a gay icon and Jeff kills Pierce’s father. Yeah, it was just as awesome as it sounds. One of us is determined to put an item in her will that will be given to whoever can best be blamed for her death, because that is just a spectacular idea. Also, some Good Will Hunting stuff happened with Trey again, and it was still funny.

Episode grade: B+

Parks and Recreation - End of the World
When a local cult predicts the end of the world, the main characters have to think about their lives and priorities. Tom throws a party, as usual, and April helps Andy complete his bucket list. His bucket list is not as weird as we wanted it to be, but that storyline was sweet. We mourn for Ben and Leslie. The last two episodes have missed the happy energy we like about this show. Episode grade: B

The Office - Doomsday
Dwight comes up with an incentive to scare the office workers into not making mistakes. He’s a sweetheart at the core though, because he called the whole thing off just in time. He and Pam really do have a special, creepy bond. We like that there was more of a focus on Jim, Pam, and Dwight than, like, Erin. This was one of the funnier episodes this season. This show isn’t dead yet.

Episode grade: B+

As for the Christmas album, it was better than the last one. So if you liked that, you'll love this. Sadly, Dianna Agron has no songs on it. AGAIN. Why does the show think we hate her pleasant voice?

Why didn't enough comedies turn in Halloween episodes? (We're looking at you Modern Family and Up All Night)

Happy Endings - “Spooky Endings”
Jane and Brad decide to spend Halloween in the suburbs to get a look at their future, because Jane doesn’t want to raise kids in the city. Jane dresses as Bacon, but Brad forgets his Egg costume. Things go awry when they don’t have enough candy for the big kids. Then it’s war. Penny has Max’s head sticking out of her stomach in a baby Bjorn for her costume. It’s even funnier than it sounds. Dave dresses as Austin Powers, but that was so ten years ago, so no one knows who he is and thinks he is Elton John. Alex gets a raspy voice because she has a cold, dresses as Marilyn Monroe, and is mistaken for a transvestite. This might be our favorite Halloween episode of the season. We’ve just realized how eternally bummed we will be if this show doesn’t stick around.

Episode grade: A

South Park - “Broadway Bro Down”
The South Park guys have gotten a second wind since they don’t have to focus so much on The Book of Mormon and it seems they have re-committed to making the show good. This episode spoofs many Broadway shows, Sondheim, and veganism. For people who like Broadway and recognize the shows and how similar the mock tunes sound to the actual scores, this episode is an even bigger treat. This episode featured less Cartman than we usually like, but it more than made up for it in plentiful crass humor and theater references.

Episode grade: A

Community - “Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps”
Britta gets the gang to share scary stories in order to determine who got a score of “psycho” on her personality test she gave out for psychology class. It turns out Britta put the tests into the scoring machine the wrong way, so when she re-scored them, she found that all of the group’s members were crazy except for one. We love that it was Abed who isn’t the psycho one! That makes the most sense, anyway. This was really funny for people who know the characters of this show, because each person’s scary story fit them so well. We died laughing at Pierce’s. Shirley’s made us hate her a little, but it was still funny.

Episode grade: A-

2 Broke Girls - “And the Disappearing Bed”
Caroline has to put together a Murphy bed without the help of a man. Max has to work up the stones to give Peach a business card for the cupcake business, because Peach is having a birthday party for her children. Both girls succeed in their tasks, with mixed results. Max develops an adorable crush on Johnny from the bar. We like where this was going. This episode was one of the show’s best, and it’s one that we wish had aired early on in the show’s run, so that people checking it out could have used this episode in order to judge the show. Also, what is up with vision boards on TV lately? Who is the lobbyist who got vision boards on multiple shows in less than a week? They should have vision boards on, like, Terra Nova. What is up with vision boards' increasing popularity? The Secret came out years ago, and it's still stupid now.

Episode grade: B+

The Office - “Spooked”
Oh, Office. We dropped you, but then we were bored and marathoned your newest episodes. Not bad. Not good either, but not bad. Good enough to get you back on our watch list. The episode “Garden Party” was the best of the bunch, because it had lots of good Dwight/Jim interactions. The Halloween episode wasn’t too shabby either. The writers nailed the costume choices. We enjoyed Robert California’s plot to figure out everyone’s deepest fears in order to tell the perfect ghost story. We are liking Andy better, especially since he got that tattoo. We still don’t like Erin though. And it looks like we never will.

Episode grade: B

Parks and Recreation - “Meet ‘n Greet”
This episode had way too much Tom, and that’s why it’s gotten the lowest grade of the season so far. While all the characters on this show are necessary and funny, Tom is the least so (even though we love Aziz Ansari). Tom emcees an event for Leslie’s campaign, but it ends up being all about him and his company. In the end, Tom admits to Leslie that his company has failed. We didn’t think this plotline was funny. We were just embarrassed for Tom and Leslie. Fortunately, the B-plot saved it. Andy and April threw a Halloween party to Ben’s displeasure, because they didn’t warn him first. Ron Swanson and Ann fix things around Andy and April’s house rather than join the party. With most of our strongest characters bringing laughs at the Halloween party, Tom had no chance of stealing this show.

Episode grade: B

Suburgatory - “Halloween”
This creatively named episode had Tessa dressing as a mock suburban girl, complete with a bump-it, track suit, and heels. But then her friends tell her that she looks and speaks just like the girl who used to live in Tessa’s house, who went to "a better place". Tessa’s friends perform an exorcism, but then their long-gone classmate returns. Crisis averted? George tries to convince Dallas that being scared can be fun so that Dallas will give him permission to decorate his lawn for Halloween. Yep, there’s a home-owner’s association. George finally meets Dallas’ husband, Steven. Neither of the plots really worked for us, but they were interspersed with good enough jokes that this episode squeaked by with an above average grade. The guillotine helped.

Episode grade: B-

How I Met Your Mother - “Noretta”
It’s finally time for Barney to sleep with Nora, but things on their date keep going wrong and ruining their date. Barney always finds a way to turn it around though. Also, the gang ponders the weirdness of how people tend to end up with someone with similarities to their parents. One of us thought this episode was funny. The end tag was pretty great, and the episode didn’t try to shoehorn a bunch of things in. The other blogger wanted to slap this episode with a big F for being unoriginal and unnecessary filler, but even she has to admit that the concept has merit. People DO end up with their parents a lot of the time. After all, Ern has always been attracted to Republican guys.

Episode grade: C+

She’s a whole lotta ball of fire with no flame.

How I Met Your Mother - “History v. Mystery”
Everyone bought smartphones, causing Barney and Robin to research all of Ted’s dates before he goes out with them. Ted goes out with the perfect woman, and Robin and Barney ruin it by letting him know that she is perfect. Thus, he is too intimidated to talk to her. Of course, because it’s Ted. Marshall and Lily try to keep their baby’s gender a secret from everyone, including themselves. But Barney doesn’t like that plan. Turns out, it’s a boy, so now Marshall and Lily can get that ugly yellow color off the nursery walls. We thought the flashback to Ted’s horrible dates were funny, and we like Robin’s boyfriend and think he’s fitting in a lot better than Zoey did. However, pregnancy has been done to death on TV and Ted’s main date was kind of boring. This one wasn’t bad, but it was forgettable.

Episode grade: C

2 Broke Girls - “And the ‘90s Horse Party”
Caroline plans a ‘90s party at the diner when she realizes that rich hipsters will come and pay money to ride her horse. This takes care of both Max’s bad credit and her student loans (Max was an art major). Man, how come our mutual friend named Caroline doesn’t own a horse that can help us pay off our debts? Caroline’s ex-boyfriend shows up at the diner multiple times. He stopped calling when Caroline lost her old life and money. Caroline was not yet ready to face him, but Max was more than ready and willing to be a total jerk to him. It was wonderful. An episode where a filthy, cowardly ex gets told off, the girls bond even more, and hipsters get made fun of? We like.

Episode grade: B+

America’s Next Top Model - “Coco Rocha”
Now THERE’S a photo shoot we like. However, we think it’s pretty funny that these girls are always having to do these dramatic photo shoots with emotions and character. Every time we flip through a Vogue magazine, the models are just standing there, with no expression, wearing clothes that would look better on a little boy’s body than any woman’s. But it is fun to watch. Kayla and Alison sucked on set, but because they are so dang photogenic, it worked out for them. It was down to Alexandria and Bre for the cut. Of course they wouldn’t get rid of drama/entertainment source Alexandria. So it was Bre’s turn to go. We don’t mind. As long as Alison wins, this Cycle will justify its existence. Also, the quote in the title was from this episode. Haha, these models don’t even know what they are saying.

Episode grade: B

Up All Night - “Birth”
We get a whole flashback episode where Reagan is still pregnant and has to have a C-section when her birthing plan goes awry. Chris debates leaving his law firm and Ava makes it all about herself, as per usual. Yeah, this stuff happened. But we don’t remember ever asking to see it. We still like this show, but we didn’t laugh much in the episode. Maybe we’ve just seen too many TV births. Unless they were going to have something crazy happen, this was unnecessary. Leeard liked it a lot more than Ern did.

Episode grade: B-

Suburgatory - “Don’t Call Me Shirley”
Sheila’s daughter steals her Shirley Temple doll collection, and Sheila thinks it was an intruder who stole them. This makes the whole town a little crazy. Dallas and Dalia stay at Tessa’s house for protection. Tessa tries to take the blame so that her dad will think the suburbs are having a bad influence on her, but he’s no dummy. We thought it was really sweet how Tessa’s dad joked at the end about how well he knows her. We loved Tessa’s line when Dalia was sleeping.

Episode grade: B

Modern Family - “Go Bullfrogs!”
Phil takes Haley to his old college to try and spark her interest in higher education. Gloria worries that Manny is hiding Playboys. It turns out that he simply bought a device on the internet that was supposed to make him taller so that he could win the affections of a female classmate. Finally, Claire tries to have a night out with Mitchell, Cameron, and some other gay guys. But Mitchell and Cameron are too old for late nights out and they leave Claire with a straight French guy who she flirts with because she thinks he’s gay. Jay gets hooked on a soap opera. Why did we love this so much? Because we got to see Claire not being uptight! We got a few nods to her wilder younger days. Finally, Julie Bowen got to have a fun storyline all to herself. The Jay/Gloria/Manny stuff was the weakest storyline. We also liked that Haley was nice to her dad for most of the trip. And Phil’s bulldog noise.

Episode grade: A+

Happy Endings - “Secrets and Limos”
Jane is into The Secret, it seems. She convinces everyone to make “vision boards” so that they can focus on what they want in life, and the universe will sense that force of desire they create and give them their desires. Penny wishes for outlandish things, and Jane tries to deliver so that Penny keeps believing in the boards/is happy. Brad has trouble telling his boss that he has food on his face. Max does not share this problem. Max and Brad’s boss get along well, until Max misreads a moment and kisses him on the cheek….awkward. Dave gets a horrible, vapid, and offensive girlfriend. She was funny, so we hope she will be back. There’s a good chance he won’t hang onto this one for more than one episode though.

Episode grade: A

South Park - “Bass to Mouth”
The Gerbil on a Mission thing is back. And so is the singing that goes with it. That’s cool though. You expect a certain amount of weird when you watch South Park. The best thing for us (as usual) was the Cartman storyline. We think the lesson of this episode, the midseason premiere, and Scott Tenorman must die is clear: NEVER EAT ANYTHING GIVEN TO YOU BY ERIC CARTMAN. We chuckled more than a few times in this one. So far, South Park is three-for-three with the second half of season 15.

Episode Grade: B+

Also, we caved and caught up on The Office. The Dinner Party episode was good. There was no new episode this week though. Same with Community. We're both bummed.

Our Top Three New Fall Shows (Plus Two Other Favorites Per Blogger)

These are the new shows that we agree are the cream of the crop. After much grumbling, list making, debating, and ranking, we have come up with these three as our joint favorites. And this is without factoring in Grimm and Once Upon a Time, which premiere shortly. In total, Leeard has picked up 13 new shows and Ern has picked up 14. Of these, we agree that these are the ones we mutually enjoy.

• New Girl: What can we say? We both find Zooey Deschanel to be adorable. We like the supporting cast, and the jokes bring forth laughs. Also, her wardrobe is to die for. We both wish baseball would just quit now so we could have new episodes.
• American Horror Story: This show doesn’t know the word “subtlety,” but it’s a weekly sideshow, so maybe subtlety would just try everyone’s patience. But it’s a great gallery of homages for horror fans, we like the cast (ok, we like the daughter, Jessica Lange, and Connie Britton), and it gets to play with a lot of themes. It’s funny, it’s creepy, and, most of all, it's entertaining.
• Suburgatory: New Girl and American Horror Story made this list quickly. Suburgatory had to fight off Prime Suspect, but its likable, snarky heroine, plentiful jokes, and funny cast lifted it to top three status. Best of all? No laugh track.

To placate ourselves, we were allowed one independent pick each and an honorable mention.

Leeard’s pick: Revenge
Leeard would date this show. She would lose her virginity to this show. She’d have a one-night stand with this show, and she’d be really disappointed when it didn’t call her a few days later. But she’d understand, because it’s THAT good and she doesn’t deserve it. Who doesn’t love a plot about revenge? The female characters in this show are the kind of WASPy, passive aggressive evil that WASPs everywhere THINK they are, but they are not. Because the women here are evil, gorgeous geniuses, and when they come down on the competition, it’s delicious. Then we have Nolan, a character who could carry this show all by himself. The show is just so intriguing; we don't know who Emily/Amanda is going to destroy next, but it doesn't really matter. We know it's going to be awesome.

Leeard's Honorable Mention: 2 Broke Girls

This show definitely isn't for everyone, but it's absolutely for Leeard. The banter between Max and Caroline is great, and the show is random without being absurd (well, the horse is a little absurd).

Ern’s pick: Homeland
This was a “duh” thing for Ern. There’s so much interesting stuff going on in this thriller that it threatens to blow Ern’s head off every Sunday. It’s something both guys and girls can enjoy. Half of the sex can cross into “unnecessary”’ territory, but the other half is totally necessary and helps with character development. If you’re looking for humor, this is really not your show. But if you are looking for thrilling, adult drama with multilayered characters and good acting, this will be your favorite fall show. Usually the only shows Ern can't find much to complain about with are Breaking Bad and The Vampire Diaries (ok, the back story is ridiculously complicated), but Homeland is joining that list.

Ern's Honorable Mention: The Secret Circle

Ern is a sucker for stuff with magic and shows that move quickly.

Treat Yo Self

2 Broke Girls - "And the Rich People Problems"
Caroline’s advanced Bruxism is acting up, so she and Max sneak into her old place to get her night guard. The cheap dentist is scary. Max is blown away by Caroline’s old things, particularly her bathtub. Then run off with tons of furs and purses that they can’t sell, because they were inventoried. They did get some good sushi though. Lots of good visual comedy in this episode. The girls’ chemistry was at its best in this episode, and this might be the show’s strongest outing so far.

Episode grade: B+

Up All Night - “Mr. Bob’s Toddler Kaleidoscope”
Chris and Reagan take Amy to an advanced playgroup, and Reagan isn’t good at it. Ava feels like Reagan isn’t spending enough time with her and freaks out. One problem: we can’t remember laughing in this episode. Leeard really enjoyed this episode, though.

Episode grade: B-

Suburgatory - “The Chatterer”
George clashes with a mom on his street, Sheila, who is butting in and trying to co-parent Tessa. He joins the PTA to show that he has what it takes to be a good parent. All of the women like him and his advice on how to get along with their husbands, but Sheila is upset that everyone is listening to him. She quits the PTA. George finally realizes that she is the better PTA leader and resigns. Tessa joins the school paper for her elective requirement and turns it into a tabloid full of high school gossip. We liked that plot better when it was on a Nickelodeon cartoon. She eventually regrets her actions and puts the paper back to its original, boring form. Not a great episode, but not bad either.

Episode grade: B

Happy Endings - “Yesandwitch”
If we were casting directors (and we should be), we would totally pick Megan Mullally to play Penny’s mom. Fortunately, the showrunners were thinking the right way and put her on the show as a party singer. When Penny learns that her mother’s positive attitude is a front for hiding her problems (a recent divorce and a career that’s going nowhere), she tries to snap her mother back to reality. Instead, she crushes her, and it took a nice speech plus a musical number to bring her mom back to normal. Jane and Brad take a couples improv class.

Episode grade: B+

South Park -“The Last of the Meheecans”
The boys have a game where half of them pretend to be U.S. border patrol agents. The other half pretend to be Mexicans trying to sneak across the border. When Butters gets lost and is mistaken for a real Mexican, he starts a revolution where all of the Mexicans want to go back to Mexico, because America’s economy sucks now. Cartman volunteers for the real border patrol and is very good at keeping Mexicans from crossing the border. He fails to keep Butters from coming back to the U.S. though. His team loses the game. None of this makes any sense, but it’s South Park, so that’s not surprising. Plus, it was pretty funny.

Episode Grade: B+

Community - “Remedial Chaos Theory”

Troy and Abed invite the rest of their gang to dinner at their new pad. But Jeff starts six different timelines/parallel realities. There are no real plot consequences to this, but this episode was still one of the show’s strongest and funniest, especially for people who know the characters well. We are extremely impressed with this one. The show's still got it, and then some.

Episode grade: A+

Parks and Recreation - “Pawnee Rangers”
Ron Swanson and Leslie Knope have competing children’s clubs, one for boys and one for girls. Leslie’s is more fun. Ron’s is more awesome. The kids don’t know that though, so the boys join the “Pawnee Goddesses,” leaving Ron alone until Leslie starts him a new, unisex club. Meanwhile, Tom and Donna try to teach Ben to relax and shop. He buys a Batman costume and cries over Leslie. That cowl does nothing for him… This was really funny episode, as usual.

Episode grade: A-

Some shows got picked up. We love it.

Full seasons have been ordered for The Secret Circle, Ringer, Hart of Dixie, Revenge, and Suburgatory. Also, ABC has ordered 6 more scripts of Happy Endings. We're pretty excited about all of them. Except for maybe Hart of Dixie.

http://www.eonline.com/news/watch_with_kristin/cw_picks_up_all_its_new_shows_plus_more/269078

http://www.eonline.com/news/watch_with_kristin/abc_picks_up_revenge_suburgatory_full/269293

If you could have dinner with any famous person, dead or alive, who would it be? Scarlett Johansson. Dead. - One reason we love Suburgatory

America’s Next Top Model - "Anthony Zuiker"
Just give the crown to Allison, already. We agreed with who was kicked off over Lisa, because Lisa is more entertaining, and the point of a TV show is to entertain us. Perfect IS boring. We liked the photo shoot and the acting challenge, which proved that models can’t read. We still don’t like or want to watch CSI.

Episode grade: B

Happy Endings - "Baby Steps"
This episode focused on teenaged brats, plus Max having trouble paying his rent. We love that the solution to that was selling his Beanie Baby collection. Remember when all the adults told kids to keep those secret, keep those safe, because they would be valuable one day? Max was the only kid who did. The episode mocked how teenagers wear tiny, literal baby tees to show off their assets. Penny jumping on the bandwagon was awesome. Jane’s crazy continues to be funny, not annoying, even though the neurotic, perfectionist female character has been done to death.

Episode grade: B+

Up All Night - "New Car"
Chris and Reagan realize that they need a more practical car for their child, so they get drunk and shop for one on the internet. You can guess how well that turned out. This was a sweet episode, if not laugh-out-loud funny. It was a little more grounded and the Ava character was more realistic than last week. We approve of this direction. This show definitely tops Will Arnett and Christina Applegate’s last shows for us.

Episode grade: B-

Suburgatory - "The Barbecue"
Tessa finds herself attracted to the jock next door, because he’s good looking, but she realizes that this is a bad thing, because he is dumb as a rock and has the personality of a piece of bread. This episode had a few laughs, and we’ve realized that this show is the Homeland of comedies (meaning that it’s a sleeper). No one expected it to be good, and it is.

Episode grade: B+

Modern Family - "Door-to-Door"
Will this show ever let Claire be fun? The only plot we liked this week was the one where Jay and Manny had to sell wrapping paper together, especially how Manny capitalized on Jay’s ego. We did enjoy Phil and Luke’s videos. That needs to happen more often. While this show is stuck in repetition mode, it needs to repeat some things that we actually find funny. You know who is adorable? Stella. We want that dog. You know who is not adorable? Lily. We know we are total peens for saying this, but that kid’s face is busted and she just doesn’t have the “cute factor” in her line delivery. That’s not a natural comedic actress right there. They should have stuck with the old kids and just had Lily talk whenever one of those kids started talking. Now that we have bashed the acting skills of a pre-schooler, we’re just going to wrap this up.

Episode grade: B

New Girl - "Wedding"
Jess lost a lot of her inconsistency this episode! It was also a good plot. Nick took Jess as his date to a friend’s wedding, because he was worried about running into his ex. Gretchen and Schmidt were hilarious. The weakest plot was the one with Winston trying to be a great usher. We like the actor, so the show should give him something funny to do. We really, really loved Jess’ British accent (the “slut butler,” haha), and we like the developments between Jess and Nick. We want Jess’ hair so badly. Also, the slow-motion chicken dance? Amazing.

Episode grade: A-

Community - "Competitive Ecology"
The Chang stuff was not funny. The group fighting is getting old. We like when the group is united against something else every once in a while. We enjoyed Todd and his reactions. Hopefully he gets his revenge or something. Overall though, while this episode wasn’t terrible, it is not an example of why we love this show.

Episode grade: C+ But please, don’t let that deter you from watching this show. We never miss it every week, and its numbers aren’t great. So, please watch it.

Parks and Recreation - "Born and Raised"
We loved the riffing on the Obama birth certificate controversy. Pawnee has turned into a bunch of birthers, and poor Leslie is from Eagleton! We love how every single character on this show is both funny and necessary. This episode was sweet and there were multiple chuckles to be found. Leslie and Ben’s sad gaze at each other near the end was just whipped cream on the waffles. This season is great so far. If it had been this good in its first season, this show would probably have The Office's ratings.

Episode grade: A

South Park - "Ass Burgers"
South Park is really hit or miss lately. Wait, who are we kidding? That show has ALWAYS been hit or miss. For every episode that we remember and quote forever, there is an episode that makes us just ask why, God, why. (A Million Little Fibers) This one was actually pretty good though. We loved the implication that adults drink to make the world fun again. It’s about time Cartman (mis)heard about Asperger’s Syndrome. And, of course, South Park jumped on some sort of current event. This time they were mocking the vaccination controversy. We enjoyed their send-up of Adam Sandler and Terra Nova (It’s LOST and Jurassic Park in the same TV show!), the Duck President is still hilarious, and we liked the way the episode ended on a hopeful note for South Park. In the last episode, Matt and Trey had us wondering if they were sick of making South Park. In this episode, they assured us that they love what they do and are thinking of new possibilities for it.

Episode grade: B+

Love to the Power of Love

Suburgatory - “Pilot”

We liked that the main character decided that Suburbia wasn’t all bad. Looking down on it snootily would get old, cold, and cynical (which it pretty much did with the bra scene). It should balance out the mockery with some heart. However, most of the funny parts were in the trailer. We want to see the second episode as soon as possible. Not sure about Jeremy Sisto as the dad, but the main character, Tessa, is cast just fine.

Episode Grade: B

Happy Endings - "Blax, Snake, Home"

This episode showed why it survived and not Perfect Couples or Better With You. The difference? This show is actually funny and we like the characters. Our only complaint is that it all felt a little frantic, but, overall, we are ready for the year of Penny. This has really redeemed Elisha Cuthbert for us. She's much better in comedies.

Episode Grade: A-
Modern Family - “Phil on Wire”

It didn't keep our attention and didn't feel cohesive.

Episode grade: C+
Up All Night - “Working Late and Working It”

The topic of "couples not being sexy enough for their partners after the baby" was broached with humor. We didn't like Ava destroying her studio a little after the phone call. It felt a little loud and unfunny. However, one of us will pretty much always love Maya Rudolph so she enjoyed that scene.

Episode grade: B+ for the music video alone

New Show: Suburgatory

SUBURGATORY
ABC. September 28, 2011. Wednesday nights at 8:30

Starring: Jeremy Sisto (A douchebag in both Clueless and Waitress), Cheryl Hines (Waitress), Jane Levy (American version of Shameless), Carly Chaikin (The Last Song), Allie Grant (Isabella Hodes on Weeds), Alan Tudyk (Firefly and the original Death at a Funeral).

Plot: A 16-year-old is forced by her single dad to move to the suburbs. Cue mockery of the suburban life.

Why We Are Excited: Alan Tudyk. This guy is a geek god and he can do anything. He was scary and psycho on Dollhouse, loveable and worrisome on Firefly, and hilarious in Death at a Funeral. He’s as close to a character actor as you get these days, and he amuses the heck out of us. We’ve been itching to see him do more comedy and get out of sci-fi, because he deserves a bigger fan base. Ms. Cheryl Hines is pretty funny herself. The preview makes the show look pretty funny. And one of the producers was involved in both Parks and Recreation and As Told By Ginger, two shows that are off the beaten path but that we enjoy.

Why We Are Not Excited: Do we really need another show making fun of the suburbs? We’ve had Weeds. We’ve had American Beauty. Yeah, we get it. The American Dream can make us too safe, too shallow, and too fake. But, for all their skeletons, most people in the suburbs are doing their best, working for their families, and trying to build nice communities. This show is going to have to work extra hard to be funny, rather than smug and judgmental.

Preview:


Anticipation score: 7/10.

Be sure to click on the "##Upcoming Shows## link in the cloud so you can stay apprised. And let us know if you think you will be watching any of them!