The Vampire Diaries finale: Stunning. And We're Stunned.

I, Ern, just bombed a test nastier than I ever have before. What do you know? All-nighters really don't work. Relax Dad, if you’re reading. I can still fail one class and graduate. I think you should be more concerned that you are reading a Vampire Diaries post. Anyway, I should still be in the test room, but I went ahead and finished it quickly and turned it in an hour earlier than normal. If you don’t know the answers, there’s no sense in sitting around mooning over the choices. The professor raped me in the brownhole (this blog gets gross when Leeard isn’t around to stop me, haha). The test was tricksy and false.

So The Vampire Diaries finale is just what the doctor ordered to sooth the buzzing, sad brain. Leeard is three weeks behind, and we really can’t wait for her to catch up now, can we? No. Not on a show this important. So, writing while I watch: Holy crap, how slutty was Elena’s cheerleading uniform back in the day? I knew right away that it was a flashback because a) it was grainy, b) the flashbacks have been advertised to death on sites we frequent, and c) Elena seemed really happy jamming to P!nk. Tooooo happy.

Momma Gilbert, you look young and beautiful. Life is unfair. She looks like Pocahontas. Evil Alaric is just what the doctor ordered. It really wasn’t that sad when his real self was turned. We know everyone else sobbed, but he’s “died” so many times, and the writers didn’t seem to know what to do with his character for most of the show, and it’s always possible that they will bring his real self back with magic, because it’s this show.

Flashback time! Matt and Elena have chemistry. If she doesn’t want him, I’ll take him. He is quite the little hottie. Mmmhmm. As soon as Stefan rushed in and embraced Elena, I thought that she would choose Damon at the end of this episode. Then Elijah showed up and this episode got even more awesome. It was already going really well too. Jeremy, I’m starting to hate you. What a whiner! My hate was earlier reserved for Bonnie, but Jeremy is in the running for that hate. There can only be one worst, and it is Jeremy. Alaric says something to Jeremy, but I can’t process it, because my brain is that fried.

I take a break to get a sandwich. Elena and Elijah strike a deal. I can’t hear what it is, but I’m sure it won’t work out anyway. It’s too early in the episode for successful strategies. I was loudly eating chips and there were no subtitles available on hulu yet (curses!) Jeremy redeems himself by tricking Evil Alaric. Bonnie is the worst again. Caroline is the best. It was so sweet when she and Tyler planned to run away together. That made me think Tyler was totally going to die. Why didn’t Evil Alaric kill Damon in the storage facility? Is there a smidgen of bromance left in him, or is he just dumb? Go ahead and kill enemies when you have the opportunity even if they aren’t really a threat! Future evil overlords, refer to this.

Back to Elena and Matt: Elena moans about being an orphan and not being able to choose between two of the hottest guys on TV. Wah wahhh wahhhh. I love you, Elena, but shut your pie hole. MATT, I WILL MARRY YOU!!! Even if you drug and abduct girls. It's not like she didn't deserve it. Back to Alaric walking around the storage unit, looking for Klaus. That stake looks like it’s covered in tinfoil. Great job, prop design. Rebekah! No! Not Rebekah! We love her. Damon wakes up and saves her, but Klaus dies. Wow, I’m surprised. And sad. Now he won’t be able to take Caroline around the world. Oh well, there’s always fanfiction. Evil Alaric goes off to kill more Originals, leaving Damon alive AGAIN. Show, why are you being lazy with this?

Things get serious when Damon and Stefan think it’s possible that they might die. Psh, no way. There is very little tension at this point in the episode. BUT THEN, Damon asks Elena who she would choose to say goodbye to if she could only say it to one Salvatore. She tells Damon that she loves Stefan. Yep, she is so picking Damon at the end of the episode. She tells Damon that she has to let him go, but if she had met him first, it might have been different. Stelena fans briefly rejoice! Evil Alaric comes back to kill Damon. Caroline finds Tyler, cries, and hugs him, knowing that Klaus is dead. Can it be? Holy moly! Tyler! And now Caroline has no male options. Tyler wisely tells Caroline to lie to his mom for him. Aww.

Then he starts coughing and turning into a werewolf. Caroline tries to stay, but runs. It’s sad, but my eyes remain dry. This show has only made me cry once, and it was in the season three premiere when Stefan called Elena to the background sounds of “A Drop in the Ocean.” (Sidenote: seriously, that was a beautiful song choice.) And that was only a general mistiness too. Matt loses it when he hears the news about Tyler’s “death.” At this point, I’m thinking he’s not going to die. I KNEW IT! Bonnie used magic to save everyone. Of course. There need to be some solid rules for Bonnie’s magic from now on. As long as she can undo anything, there are no stakes on this show. You don’t get a trump card to bail everyone out of trouble if you are a good writer. You just don’t. You have to make rules of magic and stick with them. Put limits on their powers. I didn't really know why Tyler lied to Caroline and pretended to be dying. Why was the spell a secret? And then I got there: Klaus and Tyler switched bodies, and Bonnie is apparently NOT Miss Perfect anymore. She is no longer the worst. There is no worst. I now love everyone on this show.

Now things get real. Rebekah wants to get rid of Evil Alaric and the easiest way to do that is to kill Elena. Crash. Flashback. Meanwhile, Damon is being beaten by Evil Alaric. Like a real supervillain, he monologues a bit. Flashback. Elena DID meet Damon first! Interesting. And kind of cool. We see both submerged cars, present and future. These people do NOT know how to break windows or even come close, do they? The doors don’t open, and that’s a shame. I start getting really worried for Matt, but then Stefan comes and saves him. Elena sits there and doesn’t swim out. Come on! She starts dying, so Evil Alaric starts dying. Damon is concerned for both his friend and Elena.

Real Alaric appears to Jeremy as a ghost! Awww, we get to see his real self one last time. This was emotional. I almost cried, but I sucked it up. Then- WHAT WHAT WHAT?!! WHAT?!! Physician-assisted temporary suicide? How? And she didn’t pick Damon at the end? Is Matt alive? (In an interview with Julie Plec, these things were said: “And just checking: Matt did survive, right? Answer: I think for Matt to not survive that after everything would be just too damn tragic.” Thank you, Lord.)

I will kill this show. I just wanted more! It was beautifully shot and exciting and everything, but I was so unsatisfied by this ending and cliffhanger that I could have ripped my own arm off in anger. 

Fortunately, I waited about two seconds and it clicked (Jeez, I’m slow today): Elena is a vampire. Yesssssss! Now she can be bad ass. She has to kill to survive, and obviously she will. Overall, this was a mind**** that completely breathed new life into this show. I am still processing it. How is being a vampire going to change Elena’s character? Obviously, since she's the main character, she'll transition, but she and Stefan had that beautiful discussion back in the first season (or maybe second) about how she doesn't want to become a vampire, so there has to be some debate, right? Since vampires feel more, is her “consuming” desire for Damon going to get the better of her? Please God Leeard hopes so. I need to go lie down.

Episode grade: A+

Season grade: B+ (first half A, second half full of dumb plots and characters running in circles. But who are we kidding? Leeard is going to come back and change this grade, haha)

----I'm sure you'll all be relieved to know that I passed that test, lol. Never been so happy to get a D+! And yes, I'm more into gifs now. What gave it away?----

Parks and Recreation finale perfection

We know, we know. We are supposed to be reacting to either the Secret Circle or Vampire Diaries finales. But first, Parks and Recreation. Leeard has literally never seen another full episode, but she watched the season four finale and cried anyway. Ern, who hardly ever cries (dry-eyed when Denny died on Grey's Anatomy, for example), especially in shows like Parks and Rec, cried too. How freaking precious was every second of that finale? This show is so perfect. If you haven't seen it yet, Treat Yo Self. But don't start with season one or at least give it a chance way past season one. The tone and humor of the show changes for the better in season two.

Ern was actually expecting different election results through the whole episode. The season set it up to where it could have gone a different way. In fact, they shot two endings and the writers themselves didn't know who would win until the Christmas episode. They debated it with Amy Poehler too. Based on just the episode, Leeard predicted the results. Hopefully Paul Rudd and Kathryn Hahn come back at some point. They are both hilarious (and gorgeous). The second half of the season was superior to the first, but overall, we couldn't be much happier with this show's fourth season.

Finale grade: A
Season grade: A-

Cougar Town saved! (and other news about other shows/our reactions)

If you haven't heard already, today TBS saved Cougar Town from cancellation and has bought all the rights to it. There will be another season of the show. We love when this happens, and we can think of no more deserving show. Thank you, TBS!

Lots of other shows have been renewed and cancelled, but we haven't gotten around to talking about it yet. Stupid exams! Alcatraz has been cancelled, and you know what? We don't care. Yeah, we watched and covered it a lot, but it was more due to the possibility that it could get good. It wasn't actually good yet. The pilot and one other episode were good, but mostly it deserves scorn. The Finder was also cancelled, to the joy of Ern and the mild disappointment of Leeard.

30 Rock was renewed for one more season. This is good. The show needs to start coming in for a landing, but it shouldn't end this year. Parenthood was renewed! Amazing, amazing, amazing. Love that show. Touch was renewed as well. When it came out of the gate, we really liked it, but we aren't sure the sweet concept is working out well, long-term. We hope this show does its homework and fixes its problems for the second season.

The Vampire Diaries unsurprisingly got another season, and can we say "rejoice?" Rejoice. Supernatural has also been renewed, and we have finally started watching it. We are done with season one. Ern thinks it's cheesy as heck but is willing to keep watching it. We also need to catch up on Person of Interest. We got behind, but it's been renewed, so we need to give it attention.

Grey's Anatomy is near deals with a few main characters who were at risk of leaving. We will put their names in the comments so that you aren't spoiled as to who might be staying for the next two years. Shonda confirmed a while ago that a character will be dying horribly in this year's finale. We will put our guess for that death in the comments as well.

Finally, a commenter has just informed us that Community was renewed today. This is not surprising, but we are concerned that there will only be 13 episodes. How can we survive with only 13 episodes?

P.S. We are seeing The Avengers tomorrow. Wooo hooo.

---Update---
ABC Renewed: Grey's, Revenge, Castle, Once Upon a Time, The Middle, Suburgatory, and Modern Family. No surprises there.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Sooo, we usually love Oscar movies and agree with the critics, but Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy was pretty darn boring, especially for a spy thriller. This blogger wishes she had studied for her defamation final instead. That would have been more interesting. The pacing of this movie was glacial. It had a great cast and good performances, and the story was alright (if you could follow it), but it was two hours long, sometimes confusing, and emotionless.

They called this a thriller, but we felt nothing. It looks great though. We didn’t care about the characters or the outcome. This was disappointing, because we both like Gary Oldman and we were looking forward to this movie hitting our mailboxes via Netflix. We feel like the book was probably better. At least we got to see Tom Hardy. He’s even hot with blond-ish ‘70s hair. If you decide to see this movie, we recommend turning off the lights, putting away your computers and cell phones, and concentrating on the movie fully.

This isn’t something you can enjoy with half your attention span. We had to rewind a couple of scenes to understand what was going on, and we’re not dummies/we’re overeducated. Also, we guessed who the mole was pretty much instantly, and that sort of ruined things. If you really love spy movies, 70s period pieces, or people walking through streets paired with somber voiceovers, give it a shot. If not, we recommend you skip this one. Now, if you will excuse us, we have to go get some coffee in order to come out of the coma this movie caused.

Movie grade: C-

Ok, "Girls" has fully won us over

It's so real and awkward, and every episode is better than the last. Plus, we found out that the 25-year-old star of the show also writes it. Um, you have enough talent there, Ms. Dunham? The fourth episode was adorable.

We are fans and we are so glad it is getting a second season, because it's a show that definitely has to grow on you. We don't recommend it to people who dislike sex scenes, raunch, and imperfect characters though.

Listen to the Glee graduation album early here

http://perezhilton.com/2012-05-07-glee-graduation-album-listen-tracklisting-songs/?from=top-headline#.T6kdbuhDuSo

We like "Edge of Glory" and "You Get What You Give" (so true). We both hate and like "We Are the Champions".

The Good Wife finale

Is it just us, or was this finale kind of lame for a good show?  The Good Wife had its best season yet, in our opinions. But it left us hanging in ways that were both unsatisfying and not that shocking. We aren't that intrigued by the Kalinda/FBI/tax stuff on The Good Wife. It's weird that she has a dangerous husband and we are anxious to meet him though. Overall, we'd the season an A and the finale a B-.