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Saturday, October 8, 2011

How to Be a Gentleman has been cancelled.

Rhys and Mary Lynn are freeeeee!!!

Leeard tells world: I told you so (that this show would be crap).

Everybody Misses Peter

Sons of Anarchy - “Brick”
This one was a little snoozy for us. Maybe it was that there was too much Lyla? Or any Lyla?
Episode grade: C+

Revenge - “Betrayal”
One of us is actually growing bored with this show. It’s too “procedural of the week,” and there is no emotional connection. The other blogger is still fully on board and is obsessed with both Victoria and Amandily. We both think that Daniel is an alright guy, and it’s a shame we know he dies so that we can’t get attached to the character. The actor who plays Declan doesn’t work for one of us, because he comes across as a little boy, not a complicated teen crush.
Episode Grade: B-
Parenthood - “Clear Skies from Here on Out”
Poor Crosby. We rarely say that, but there was no winning in that scenario. We also feel bad for Haddie who got dumped by her guy because he doesn’t feel good enough for her and is ashamed to be around her family. We hope they don’t end like that.
Episode grade: B+

Prime Suspect - “Bitch”
We liked the pilot of this show, and it keeps improving on the pilot greatly. The last two cases have been interesting and satisfying. Of course, it’s easy to root for a main character when she’s up against child nappers and woman beaters. But we just think that’s a smart move to get Jane Timoney a following before she gets axed without cause.
Episode grade: B+

Fringe - “Alone in the World”
Yes, Walter and Olivia totally should start trying to find Peter. This episode had a lot of emotion, which is sometimes missing from this show. The little boy was adorable, as was Walter trying so hard to save him. Furthermore, the case was creepy and Walter’s little breakdown was also unsettling. We like when this show disturbs us.
Episode grade: A-

X-Factor Top 32

This show is too long. We don’t have this kind of time. Just show us the singers and judging. The promo fluff is ridiculous. Anyone already watching is ALREADY WATCHING. The judges walking in slow motion, drama, and other stuff is just a waste of our valuable time. In a montage of the good singers, it seems like we have a lot of people who don’t suck. And, aww, the little rapper hugged Simon.

Here’s a rundown of who is left after boot camp. The links are to youtube videos of performances (either from boot camp or the main auditions). Our main complaint is that most of the girls’ voices are similar. Lots of thin-toned, second soprano belters with some jazzy riffs. Idol is better with the variety. Simon likes what he likes though.

If you don't want to watch all of the auditions and just want to jump into the top people's journeys, we've got vids for all of them.

Caitlin Koch- Our favorite. What is she always doing with her legs though? Looks like a chicken dance that would fit in on Arrested Development.
Tora Woloshin- She has a decent voice, but we don’t really get her. Yet. Singing starts at 2:07.
Simone Battle- This girl made it through because she dressed slutty and looked good. Her voice is good, but we think her appearance and generic performance made Simon fight for her. Actual singing starts at 3:14, but if you haven't seen her, you should probably watch the whole thing.
Drew Ryniewicz- Runner-up pick. Great tone and only 14.
Rachel Crow- This girl’s voice is just as big as her personality. Definitely a cutie, and only 13. This is her boot camp performance of “If I Were a Boy.” We love her confidence.
Jazzlyn Little- An obvious pick for the top 32.
Melanie Amaro- She nailed every note in the Beyonce song.
Tiah Tolliver- Those lips are majestic. Nicole hates her though, haha.

Brennin Hunt- This guy is like Edward Cullen trying to be Lestat, only it’s the light pop version. Simon just wants to hear the voice. So do we. He sounds like any other guy right now. We might end up liking him though, because he’s not horrible looking.
Brian Bradley- Stop looking at his mom. The kid has rhyming talent and the worst attitude of all time. Sounds like a rapper.
Skyelor Anderson- We’re not really digging his voice, because he has no power, and he has a shallow, nasally tone. But he’s a nice kid who has been cursed with a terrible name and is just trying to make the best of it. Go to 1:46 for the song.
Nick Voss- One of the most unoriginal things we’ve ever seen, but he’s an underdog, and those do well on these shows.
Tim Cifers- Meh
Phillip Lomax- Also not original or as good as the people he is trying to copy. Also, there’s no way a girl could sing this kind of retro music and make it on a show like this.
Marcus Canty- This might be Ern’s favorite of the guys.
Chris Rene- Leeard’s early favorite guy. His first audition was better, so youtube that if you haven’t seen it. But here’s a shorter performance video, in case you just need to see his face as a reminder.

Over 30s:
(First of all, 30 is YOUNG, and this category should be raised to 35.)
Elaine Gibbs- The grandmother wedding singer. Has a gospel-sounding voice.
Tiger Budbill- It was cute to see him and his wife crying at the end of his first audition, but he doesn’t have the strongest pipes or presentation.
LeRoy Bell- Meh.
James Kenney- start at 2:19. We also give him a “meh.”
Josh Krajcik- He’s growing on us.
Christa Collins- Go to 3:55. She has potential.
Dexter Haygood- HOW ON EARTH DID HE MAKE IT? He's got a good story, that's it.
Stacy Francis- Probably the best here, especially when she gets some voice lessons from the show.

Stereo Hogzz- They seem like cool guys who love each other and work hard.
2Squar'd- Nahhhh. Maybe if someone else dresses them.
4 Shore- The bar for groups must be really low.
The Brewer Boys- Pretty cute, good voices.
Illusion / Confusion- They haven’t aired these guys yet, but they are pretty good. They definitely need some polishing though.
The Anser- These guys are pretty good.
Plus two groups comprised of contestants who'd previously competed as soloists

There's no one here that we are absolutely, 100% in love with, but it took a while for us to realize Haley was our girl on Idol last time, so maybe someone will emerge, grow stronger in the competition, and win us over.

Could this episode look any better right about now?

Finally, a Glee character we have the potential to like for the foreseeable future! The synopsis we read for next week's episode was "Irish foreign exchange student Rory Flanagan (Damian McGinty) arrives at McKinley High and is hosted by Brittany's family."

We get to meet Brittany's family? We already knew Damian was guest starring, but Brittany + Damian equals too much cuteness. We. Can't. Wait. Also, there are rumors that Mercedes and Santana will cover Christina Aguilera's "Candyman." Inexplicably, the New Directions will sing "Last Friday Night." We really hope that's not true.... That song doesn't even rhyme.

Why Witches Should Sleep With Earplugs

The Secret Circle - "Heather"

Well, that was just hilarious. The demons on this show are just like the wormy little aliens in the movies where people become alien zombies. Nick and Melissa have grown stronger by the end of the episode, and Nick is trying to be a good guy. Faye is the douchebag cure. We need to steal and bottle her. Faye is definitely jealous and wants Nick though. Or Melissa.

Cassie needed to find out what happened to Heather Barnes, so she searched her on the internet. What, no Bing reference, CW? She went to Heather’s brother, who lives in the creepiest house in the creepiest area, ever. Actually, it was kind of cool and we would totally live there as eccentrics. Adam agrees to go with her, so she won’t be scared. They find that Heather has been in a catatonic state for 16 years. Heather wakes up enough to grab Cassie’s arm, but that’s it. Offff course she grabs Cassie’s arm. That’s scary movie 101.

Cassie sees something marked on Heather’s wrist, and when she gets home, she shows Adam her family witch book. The symbol on Heather’s wrist is in there, so Cassie decides that her mother must have made Heather catatonic. Cassie determines to use magic to heal Heather, but Diana refuses to let Adam help her, because they don’t know enough yet to start using magic to fix the problem. We as viewers know she’s right, because she’s the Hermione/Dumbledore of the operation. Cassie does not know this yet.

Cassie gets Faye to help. They sneak into Heather’s place, do a spell, and leave, thinking it didn’t work. Later that night, Heather wakes up, knocks her brother out by throwing him against a wall, and goes in search of Cassie’s mom. Meanwhile, Diana finds out from her book that what Cassie’s mom did to Heather was to seal a demon inside of her, so that Heather could not wreak demonic havoc on the town and herself. Diana and Adam call Cassie, but Heather is already at her house. Faye is upstairs, reading Cassie’s family's Book of Shadows.

Cassie goes downstairs and finds Heather. Heather tells her what’s up, and then she starts going Full Demon (that’s kind of like Full Retard, only scary). Heather throws Cassie against the wall and then goes after Faye with a poker. Nick and Melissa see Faye having trouble through his window and go join the fight. The whole chase scene was pretty fun to watch. Sometimes it was creepy, and sometimes we were laughing, thinking, “Demons come where witches go? Ha, the fundies were right about what happens when kiddies get into magic, then?”

Heather runs into the street and a car slams into her. What a good reckless driver! Heather is dead, but the demon worm in her head crawls into Nick’s bag. We thought there was no way it would crawl into Nick’s ear when Melissa is sleeping right next to him. That’s what you get for being a witch AND slutting around, Melissa. Sure enough, we were right. Adam shows up at Cassie’s house, late at night, to make sure she is ok and help her clean up. This is just asking for trouble, but Adam is in high school and honestly might not know any better.

We’re not sure we like the demon direction in which this show is going, but we guess the show needed supernatural baddies who didn’t rely on a stone that will be depleted one day. We did like the episode, and the woman playing Heather was pretty fantastic, as was the makeup department that made her look shiny and wrong.

Episode grade: B+

Friday, October 7, 2011

If you could have dinner with any famous person, dead or alive, who would it be? Scarlett Johansson. Dead. - One reason we love Suburgatory

America’s Next Top Model - "Anthony Zuiker"
Just give the crown to Allison, already. We agreed with who was kicked off over Lisa, because Lisa is more entertaining, and the point of a TV show is to entertain us. Perfect IS boring. We liked the photo shoot and the acting challenge, which proved that models can’t read. We still don’t like or want to watch CSI.
Episode grade: B

Happy Endings - "Baby Steps"
This episode focused on teenaged brats, plus Max having trouble paying his rent. We love that the solution to that was selling his Beanie Baby collection. Remember when all the adults told kids to keep those secret, keep those safe, because they would be valuable one day? Max was the only kid who did. The episode mocked how teenagers wear tiny, literal baby tees to show off their assets. Penny jumping on the bandwagon was awesome. Jane’s crazy continues to be funny, not annoying, even though the neurotic, perfectionist female character has been done to death.
Episode grade: B+

Up All Night - "New Car"
Chris and Reagan realize that they need a more practical car for their child, so they get drunk and shop for one on the internet. You can guess how well that turned out. This was a sweet episode, if not laugh-out-loud funny. It was a little more grounded and the Ava character was more realistic than last week. We approve of this direction. This show definitely tops Will Arnett and Christina Applegate’s last shows for us.
Episode grade: B-

Suburgatory - "The Barbecue"
Tessa finds herself attracted to the jock next door, because he’s good looking, but she realizes that this is a bad thing, because he is dumb as a rock and has the personality of a piece of bread. This episode had a few laughs, and we’ve realized that this show is the Homeland of comedies (meaning that it’s a sleeper). No one expected it to be good, and it is.
Episode grade: B+

Modern Family - "Door-to-Door"
Will this show ever let Claire be fun? The only plot we liked this week was the one where Jay and Manny had to sell wrapping paper together, especially how Manny capitalized on Jay’s ego. We did enjoy Phil and Luke’s videos. That needs to happen more often. While this show is stuck in repetition mode, it needs to repeat some things that we actually find funny. You know who is adorable? Stella. We want that dog. You know who is not adorable? Lily. We know we are total peens for saying this, but that kid’s face is busted and she just doesn’t have the “cute factor” in her line delivery. That’s not a natural comedic actress right there. They should have stuck with the old kids and just had Lily talk whenever one of those kids started talking. Now that we have bashed the acting skills of a pre-schooler, we’re just going to wrap this up.
Episode grade: B

New Girl - "Wedding"
Jess lost a lot of her inconsistency this episode! It was also a good plot. Nick took Jess as his date to a friend’s wedding, because he was worried about running into his ex. Gretchen and Schmidt were hilarious. The weakest plot was the one with Winston trying to be a great usher. We like the actor, so the show should give him something funny to do. We really, really loved Jess’ British accent (the “slut butler,” haha), and we like the developments between Jess and Nick. We want Jess’ hair so badly. Also, the slow-motion chicken dance? Amazing.
Episode grade: A-

Community - "Competitive Ecology"
The Chang stuff was not funny. The group fighting is getting old. We like when the group is united against something else every once in a while. We enjoyed Todd and his reactions. Hopefully he gets his revenge or something. Overall though, while this episode wasn’t terrible, it is not an example of why we love this show.
Episode grade: C+ But please, don’t let that deter you from watching this show. We never miss it every week, and its numbers aren’t great. So, please watch it.

Parks and Recreation - "Born and Raised"
We loved the riffing on the Obama birth certificate controversy. Pawnee has turned into a bunch of birthers, and poor Leslie is from Eagleton! We love how every single character on this show is both funny and necessary. This episode was sweet and there were multiple chuckles to be found. Leslie and Ben’s sad gaze at each other near the end was just whipped cream on the waffles. This season is great so far. If it had been this good in its first season, this show would probably have The Office's ratings.
Episode grade: A

South Park - "Ass Burgers"
South Park is really hit or miss lately. Wait, who are we kidding? That show has ALWAYS been hit or miss. For every episode that we remember and quote forever, there is an episode that makes us just ask why, God, why. (A Million Little Fibers) This one was actually pretty good though. We loved the implication that adults drink to make the world fun again. It’s about time Cartman (mis)heard about Asperger’s Syndrome. And, of course, South Park jumped on some sort of current event. This time they were mocking the vaccination controversy. We enjoyed their send-up of Adam Sandler and Terra Nova (It’s LOST and Jurassic Park in the same TV show!), the Duck President is still hilarious, and we liked the way the episode ended on a hopeful note for South Park. In the last episode, Matt and Trey had us wondering if they were sick of making South Park. In this episode, they assured us that they love what they do and are thinking of new possibilities for it.
Episode grade: B+

Alex, finish your paper and get back to peds, so you can be a human again

Grey's Anatomy - "What Is It About Men?"

This episode had a focus on the guys, which was ok, but we felt like it could have been funnier. There was a lot of untapped potential with this idea, but at least it brought back some of the fun and humor the show has been missing for a while.

This episode also had a HUGE lack of Meredith in it. After one surly conversation with Derek, she had the same amount of screen time as your average walk-on role. Cristina too. We get that the episode was guy-centric, but guys interact with ladies, right? We were actually a little bored by the boys and the stereotypes that came with them.

Derek spent the episode looking for a new resident to be a regular on his service. His main neuro girl and wife has quit working with him, and no one else seems to measure up. He tries for Alex, but Alex is only interested in using Derek to fill his non-peds surgery requirements. Derek realizes then that Mark isn’t using Jackson well, so he tries to steal Jackson from Mark. Mark does not take well to this, and it all turns out great for Jackson, because Mark realizes that Jackson needs to be given more to do in the plastics O.R.

Another untapped thing? Having all the nerds in the hospital and highlighting their nerdiness in a way that felt like mockery and lazy references, rather than actual funny jokes and situations. The only part of that we liked was when the nerd girl expressed disdain at April’s being unfamiliar with hobbits. After that (awesome) movie trilogy, who doesn’t know and love hobbits? Nerds are a great source for jokes (just ask The Big Bang Theory), and we didn’t chuckle once. Can we also point out that April looks nothing like Daenerys the Dothraki "princess"? She's a queen, not a princess. Yet more evidence that this episode was written by non-nerds trying to pretend they know ANYTHING about nerds.

One nerd gets beat up trying to save April from a large, dangerous, violent patient, because apparently there is no reliable security in this hospital. Owen comes along and punches him in the face. Owen refuses to apologize for this, because he’s satisfied with how that whole punching thing turned out. Way better than the choking, anyway. The guy might sue Owen, but Owen doesn’t care. His conduct with the guy was the first time we'd ever seen him be unprofessional at work, and we didn't care for it. Good punch though. He spent the episode trying to be chief and not be stuck in an office at the same time. Good product placement time for an iPad?

Dr. Ben Warren and Nurse Eli (who Bailey has moved in with) are fighting over Bailey. Derek invites all the boys over to help build his deck. Derek doesn’t really know what he’s doing, so they build it wrong/it’s not level. Hammering is guy therapy? No wonder all the guys in our schools are so angsty. They are “indoor guys”/metros and can’t build squat diddly. We thought that Mark taking care of his baby was really cute, but then he hands her to Owen to play with while he speaks with Derek. Mark, that was a really bad/depressing call. There were, like, three other guys there. This is one reason we don’t think the abortion anger is over. That and the punching.

Episode grade: B-

This Show Can't Make a Sleepy Episode, Can It?

The Vampire Diaries - "Disturbing Behavior"

Rebecca is not nearly as fun as Katherine, but that doesn’t mean she’s not trying. She’s shocked at the lack of modesty in this century’s clothing, but she’s going to rethink her stance when she realizes what that’s for. To get attention from guys at any cost, duh. She’s having trouble on that front. Even with his memory gone, Stefan is completely over her. Elena happened, and nothing can top that. Rebecca also hates modern, electronic dance music. We do too, Rebecca. Give us something that doesn’t sound like a computer, please.

Gloria uses magic to try to find Rebecca’s old necklace and sees Elena with Caroline and Bonnie, cooking. Gloria doesn’t tell Klaus much about what she sees, because she wants the necklace for herself. Later, she paralyzes and tortures Stefan for the necklace’s location. We find out that Stefan is still very in love with Elena and would do anything for her (as if there was any doubt). Katherine shows up, kills Gloria, saves Stefan, and tells him that she wants a partner in crime. Stefan turns her down, because he’s not a moron and knows that you can’t trust Katherine.

Katherine and Stefan discuss “Michael,” a vampire slayer that Klaus was running from in the 1920s. We assume they mean Archangel Michael, because it seems like no one else has Klaus-killing capabilities. From here, we assume that Stefan is going to look for this vampire killer and set Klaus up, in Chicago, to die by his hand. But that’s not the direction in which the show goes this episode.

Back in Mystic Falls, Elena and Damon are getting cozier. He has even been teaching her how to cook. Elena is looking for a nice, shiny Stefan replacement, so she is unconsciously trying to make Damon into the person his brother was before Klaus. Elena is watching Damon’s every action, and won’t get off his dick. (Not in the literal sense. We wish. Figuratively. She’s being what Damon would call a “buzzkill.”) All of this concerns Alaric, so he gets up in Damon’s grill, asking him to behave. Damon snaps his neck, knowing Alaric has his ring on. Bonnie and Caroline also try to warn Elena about crushing on Damon.

Bonnie returns from her summer away, complicating things emotionally for Jeremy who has progressed in his ghost-sensing abilities to the point where he is having full conversations with Anna. He has been able to block Vicki out, for the most part. At the end of the episode, he blocks Anna out too. When Gloria seeks the necklace, it burns Elena’s neck, zaps Bonnie, and levitates, so Bonnie keeps it to inspect its magical properties. Katherine appears in Mystic Falls and gets the necklace back from Bonnie, doing her ever-reliable Elena impression. Straight hair and a look of concern are all it takes.

Liz gets Damon to compel Bill Forbes into forgetting everything and leaving town. They let Bill go, but it turns out that he has trained his mind to resist compulsion. Bill shows up at a Council meeting and suggests that the town’s water supply be spiked with vervain. Damon goes to kill Bill (aaaand now we want to watch that movie), but then he decides to just feed off of Bill multiple times to drag it out. Caroline bursts in and saves her daddy. We were extremely jazzed to see Damon and Caroline fight.

Bill leaves town, telling Caroline that she will never be alright again, because she’s a vampire. But at least he thanks her for saving him. Man, that’s the worst. Having a parent think you are never going to be fine, no matter what you do. Ugh. Alaric tells Damon he’s a dick and Elena fights with him to get him to become good. Damon calls her on trying to change him, and the two part ways, sulking. Katherine comes to Damon’s house at the exact right moment to secure him as her new ally. They leave on a road trip. Yayy!

Finally Rebecca realizes that Stefan is still attached to his old life. Stefan asks Rebecca about Michael, further tipping her off to Stefan’s true alliances. Rebecca lets her brother know that Stefan isn’t with them, and Klaus trusts his sister’s reportedly infallible instincts. He knocks Stefan out and takes him…back to Mystic Falls to check things out. How long until Klaus realizes that Elena is alive? We’re guessing that he will know by the next episode. Just as we were starting to settle in with the Stefan on the road, undercover theme, the show scraps it. Ahhhhh!

Episode grade: A-

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Free Agents was Cancelled

No surprise, and no one cares.

A Mix Of Sex and Horror. And the Gimp from Pulp Fiction Finally Gets Some.

This is a show that you will probably either love or hate. Some of that might depend on how many of the references to classic American horror movies you can catch, but expertise on The Shining is not required. Ryan Murphy hasn’t been able to be as weird as he really wants to be for a while. The kids on Glee are sweet, often innocent, and they sing in a show choir. But with his new adult horror miniseries on FX, Ryan is free to make the teenagers psychos, cutters, bullies, and hipsters. The risk with Murphy is that he will get too weird. Does anyone remember the later seasons of Nip/Tuck? Sometimes when you go too overboard, things get unintentionally hilarious.

Was it scary? As you might expect, we have a high bar for scary, if only because we’ve seen so many movies and so much TV. You really do get desensitized. One of us has read nearly all of Stephen King’s books (and at a young age too). We’ve lived alone, walked at night, shot guns, jumped out of planes, jumped off of bluffs, helped film an amateur horror movie in the woods, and watched that video of The Hoff really drunk on YouTube. So American Horror Story hasn’t scared us yet, but it has intrigued us, which is something.

The haunted house is gorgeous. Leeard loves houses like that. Ern prefers small apartments, because there is less to clean. But the Harmon family already has a maid, so it’s all good. Actually, it’s far from good. That maid is a troublemaking ghost. We love this character, and we don’t want to say too much about her, in case people reading haven’t seen the show yet.

There’s tons of slightly kinky sexual material in this show so far, and we know there are people who will feel uncomfortable watching that. Mr. Harmon sleepwalks naked, masturbates and then cries, and is constantly trying to get some with his wife, who kind of hates him right now. The couple who lived in the house before the Harmons had a couple of gimp suits in the attic. They were gay men who ended up dead. Mrs. Harmon has sex with a ghost wearing one of those rubber suits, thinking he’s her husband. She enjoys it. We really don’t understand the gimp suit attraction. Other things about S&M are more understandable, but the second someone puts a wetsuit on, we think, “Now how is that hot?”

The scenes at Violet’s high school reminded us of darker versions of Glee scenes. They were over-the-top, unlikely, and funny. We enjoyed seeing the bully get pranked by Violet, her new friend, and some old woman who has “rotting old woman syndrome,” a common syndrome in old women (we know this from TV and movies). We should raise awareness.

Denis O’Hare’s character shows promise, as does Mrs. Harmon’s pregnancy. We also love Jessica Lange’s character, because she is hilarious. As rude, blunt, and strange as she is, she was right to tell Mrs. Harmon off. You never touch someone else’s child without their permission, and you especially don’t touch them in an angry way.

We weren’t sure if we would like the stuff with the troubled marriage, but the couple’s big fight scene was pretty good. We actually feel bad for both parties, and we look forward to getting in their heads. Connie Britton’s acting is better than Dylan McDermott’s though. Ryan Murphy loves having characters with Down Syndrome on his shows, and this is no exception. We like this character. We also like that Mr. Harmon is a psychiatrist. Bringing crazy patients into the haunted house can add to the creep factor.

Overall, this show tried to put every strange and scary thing in its pilot that it could. There were ginger twins, babies in jars, and the supernatural beings messing with people’s heads. There was a little blood, ominous music, and a kid who is two seconds away from shooting everyone he knows. This show needs to imply more, leave more to the imagination, raise a little mystery, let us wonder about the ghosts’ intentions, and drop some hints.

The show needs to be careful, or it's going to get too silly. Its M.O. is to heavy-handedly lay it all out there for us to see. Play some of those cards closer to the chest later on. Horror is all about the build-up. We understand that it might want to attract attention early to get and keep viewers. But now the show has to stay at this level and intensify from here. That might be hard to do. Overall, we liked this though, and we were entertained.

Episode grade: B+

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Dear Henry, Go Away

Ringer - "It’s Gonna Kill Me, But I’ll Do It"

Ringer, you sneaky show! Way to do something a little fun. The show is little more than a soap opera with more onscreen action and Sarah Michelle Gellar, but it got a lot better since the pilot. We don’t know how much that says, since we gave the pilot a C+, but it’s promising.

It’s certainly not what we would call an intelligent thriller. Those looking for that should head over to Showtime and watch Homeland. But this was probably our favorite episode so far. Most importantly, we still want to know what happens enough to keep watching. Now more than ever. This is only the fourth episode, after all.

Spoilers start here.

Gemma finds out that Siobhan had a sister! But that’s not all. Gemma heard Henry talking to Siobhan (really Bridget) about their love and love child. But THAT’S not all. Bridget had to tell Gemma that she was Bridget and not Siobhan! Dun dun dunnnnn. End of episode. Now we actually can’t wait to see what happens on this show next week.

Someone got slapped, Andrew’s accent gets cuter every week, there’s no terrible green screen in sight, Agent Machado is still on the trail and is getting closer, and we got some flashbacks of the sisterhood gone wrong.

The only boring thing at this point is Siobhan. She’s off whoring and trying to not get kicked out of her hotel. But “the plan’s back on.” It’s about time she does something besides sit around in Paris.

Episode Grade: B+

You give that skinny Garanimals-wearing asskisser everything!

Glee - "Asian F"

This episode had a lot of things we didn’t like and a few that we did, so there are mixed feelings. We’ll start with the good news, then rip into the bad.

The good: Mike Chang! He still really can’t sing, but his storyline was sweet. Doing something you love is even more important than being yourself, which is what this show usually tries to tell us to do. We enjoy the change of message from time-to-time. Mike’s mom was adorable, and yes, Asians are really that strict. But how are Mike and Tina still together? Relationships last like half a season on this show, but this couple that formed mostly because of abs is really going the distance….

Brittany’s dancing and number were pretty fun, and we liked its effect on Kurt. We also liked meeting Emma’s parents. We knew that they had to be a big ball of crazy to have raised a kid with so many issues, but we didn’t expect them to be really mean! Freaky deaky? Will should have slapped them, but he put his aforementioned new balls to use telling them off. Also, didn't Emma already explain how her OCD tendencies started?

We thought it was pretty funny that they were “ginger supremacists” though. And they didn’t like Carl, haha. But poor Emma. All the work she did seems to have gone down the tubes after seeing the source of her crazy. We liked that Mercedes has a boyfriend who builds her up and makes her realize that she’s not an Effie. Even though she really is an Effie. She looks and acts and sings like Effie. Some of that is definitely a compliment though.

The kids did “It’s All Over” from Dreamgirls, and it really fit with the episode well, even though we don’t particularly care for the song. We liked that the sweet tone and some focus on Will and Emma is back. This season is feeling a little more like season one. Thankfully, Sue had a small part in this episode. We wouldn’t normally say this, because Jane Lynch is awesome and at one point Sue made the show for us. But lately, the show doesn’t know what to do with the character and Sue just ends up making episodes a nonsensical mess.

The bad: Brittany S. Pierce realizes that a dumb blonde being president would probably be so much better than another guy! Why does girl power have to mean dissing guys? It wasn’t egregious here, but we still rolled our eyes. If you have to say it (Run the World (Girls)) then it must not be true.

Worst of all, Mercedes’ ego has returned. The show is making us hate her, and we don’t want to! Rachel and Mercedes have a sing-off with one of the most boring Broadway songs of all time, “Out Here On My Own” from Fame. The judges still can’t decide who gets Maria, so they double the performances and give both girls a chance to play the role. Most girls who actually love musical theater would be thrilled, but Mercedes turns it down, disses Rachel, and joins Shelby Corcoran’s new show choir. Silver lining? Maybe she can drown out Sugar Motta.

Spotlight, Cool, and Run the World (Girls) are all very mediocre songs undeserving of covers. We like that the songs are following the plot rather than the plot following the songs, but picking current mainstream songs that didn’t even top the charts makes for a bland episode. Bring back the classic rock!

Glee tried to recover with a Coldplay cover, going with the overused Fix You. The plot actually made it appropriate, with the whole Emma thing, and it was almost touching. Our problem with it? It sounded almost exactly like the original. When you cover a song, you need to make it your own. Doesn’t anyone listen to Simon Cowell? (The exception to this rule is the national anthem. So many people jazz it up, riff, change keys, and holler that it’s more original to sing it straight and just sing it really well, holding the notes out.) Also, this song was used so much better in So You Think You Can Dance.

But, anyway, Glee works well when it swaps the genders to songs. Not so much with Kurt, but with having a female voice on Journey or Blaine’s Teenage Dream. We already have the original songs, Glee. Give us the sequel to them. Add some instruments, new harmonies. Something. That’s why so many people love the mash-ups. We have a similar Fix You on our iPods, and it’s better. Lots of people think that song is really condescending and lame anyway. So, on the music front, we were unsatisfied.

Question: What was all the stuff with Mercedes feeling physically ill? Was she really just having an off day, or is that going to come up later? Please say the only other Christian girl on this show isn't getting pregnant too. That would just be too funny.

Episode Grade: B-

Suck It Up, Robin. We're currently sober and above our desks, and we've been single for YEARS. Also, what are you wearing?

How I Met Your Mother - “The Stinson Missile Crisis”
Neil Patrick Harris plays a straight man way more convincingly than he played a gay man. Anyway, this episode was really cute. Especially the Robin stuff. Not so much the Ted stuff. But, overall, we liked it.
Episode Grade: B+

Two Broke Girls - “And Strokes of Goodwill”
Some of the puns in this episode were just painful. It was ok when Samantha Jones on Sex and City did them, but we think Michael Patrick King should leave them with her. Although we liked this series at first, it needs to shake things up, add some characters, add a few storylines, and brush up on its jokes at this point in order to move forward. We’re still watching though, and one of us liked the episode. It’s going to get a full season to improve. That’s right: a full season was ordered.
Episode Grade: C+

Hart of Dixie - “Parades and Pariahs”
We couldn’t decide if we were going to watch a second episode of this show at first, but then we decided to buckle down and give it another try. After two episodes, we’ve realized that our schedules are too full for a show this mediocre. If we give it another chance, it will be after a full season has aired (if it even gets a full season), and we will watch it in the summer.
Episode grade: C-

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

New Show News

As a commenter pointed out/noticed before us, Up All Night and Whitney have been renewed. The Playboy Club has been cancelled. We are mostly happy with this news. Whitney isn't great, but it's not the worst new comedy this fall. We're looking at you, How to be a Gentleman.

This Show Is the Definition of Generic

Terra Nova - "Instinct"

We’re not digging this show right now. It’s too shallow and immature. It’s like every generic family action movie, except the whole family can’t watch it, because of content issues. We’re not sure who this is aimed at. We’re not attached to any of the character, and, worst of all, there is no real emotion involved in watching this show. Not fear, excitement, humor, sadness, joy. Nothing. There was almost curiosity last week with Taylor’s missing son and the equation, but that wasn’t touched upon this week. The show is centered on a family, but the family brings no believable interactions or power to the geeky premise.

A mystery alone can’t carry a show. Who is the audience for this? Teenage boys? Maybe. But it might be too sweet for them. This show is trying to please everyone, and we don’t think it’s pleasing anyone overmuch. This is a show that needs to figuring out what sort of reaction it wants from us, because light, fun, cute sci-fi that hardly makes sense isn’t going to elicit a strong reaction from anyone. This show desperately needs to take a risk, make someone unlikeable, shake things up, and get scarier. We are very disappointed and hope it improves. We were rooting for this one, because we are nerds.

Spoilers start here.

Some of Terra Nova’s men get a flat tire at night and then they get killed by little dinosaurs offscreen. Then we see the Shannon family, in the daytime, having a nice time in Terra Nova, settling in. Jim and Elizabeth start taking their clothes off (well, Jim’s shirt anyway), stand close to each other, and look at each other hungrily, but in a rated-G kind of way, so it creeped us out. Then a dinosaur screeches and ruins their good time. We would start to get annoyed with the dinos at this point. Jim goes out to scare the dino off and comes back to find Zoe in bed with her mom. We have already been annoyed with Zoe, who ruins everything but cannot be the target of wrath because she’s little.

Josh seems to have accepted his dad now. Elizabeth meets another science geek, Malcolm, and he’s an ex-boyfriend from college who still likes her! Dramaaaaa. Not really. Jim just calls Dr. Malcolm out for liking his wife and wishing Jim were still in prison, choking to death. Later, Jim and Elizabeth try to do it again and dinos screech. Jim and Josh go out to scare the dinos off, but the little flying things attack! One bites Jim’s hand. Nothing else. But these are the same things that killed the Terra Nova men.

Malcolm figures out that Terra Nova was built on these pterosaurs’ breeding ground, and now they want it back. Offscreen, Jim catches a couple of the pterosaurs so that his geeky wife and her possible boy toy could figure out how to recreate their pheromones and lure them to a new place to breed. Once they make the formula, Jim and Taylor take it and lure the birds away. We don’t see this either. We don’t see any of the action. It’s like an old sitcom where they can’t show the kids fight, just talk about the aftermath. We guess this is a way to save money, and after the pilot, they need to. But without dino action, what’s the point of this show?

Elizabeth and Jim finally get to do it. No one cares. The only plot-advancing thing we learn (that doesn’t involve romance) is that the Sixers have a mole in Terra Nova. Well, of course they do. That plot is a freebie, show. Every show has to have a mole at one time. 24 had, like, a thousand. Also, that was heavily implied in the pilot. Taylor tasked Jim with finding the mole with his “cop nose.”

Funniest lines this week? “Dad, how do you know if a guy likes you?” “You can’t. He doesn’t. You’re 16.”

Episode grade: C-

Which New Shows Will Probably Stay or Go

This is a really good online article about each new show's chances, in case you are getting hooked but don't want your heart broken.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Pan Am Makes Us Glad Our Mothers Aren't Controlling

Pan Am - "We’ll Always Have Paris"
Now that Laura’s hair has been dyed blonde to distinguish her from her sister, she’s a dead ringer for Britt on Community, isn’t she? We enjoyed this episode more than the pilot, and the pilot was decent. This isn’t classic TV yet or anything, but it’s entertaining and fun.

Episode grade: B

The Good Wife - "The Death Zone"
Well, it was just cruel not to show us Alicia and Will’s Revolutionary War role playing. However, we will settle for Kalinda and Eli hooking up, because they are clearly made for each other. We wonder why we didn’t see it before. And please, they can’t fire Alicia.

Episode grade: B-

I Have No Idea What Hammertime Is

Dexter - "Those Kinds of Things"
This season of Dexter is going to dip into religion and what it means (or doesn’t mean) to Dexter. This is interesting to this blogger because, as a person with faith, Dexter made her brain go wild with these issues during the first season. It raised a lot of questions, such as: Where is the hope for people like Dexter? If you have no heart, how can you find God? Do people like Dexter have that ‘free will’ to choose God thing, or are they incapable, because they can’t feel remorse and can’t repent?

Of course, in answer to the last question, the show weirdly gave the sociopath some level of a conscience and more of a heart than most serial killers would have. But for the real-life killers, the question still stands. Religion doesn’t make this blogger uncomfortable at all. Not any single religion. Shoot, she will discuss and read about them all. But religion plus Dexter?

This blogger answered her own spiritual questions about people like Dexter a while ago (and if you want the detailed conclusions to that line of questioning, you can ask in the comments, if you are so inclined). But it will be very nice to see how the show broaches the topic, which is a ballsy move for this show. We love it. Let’s go there. If it all makes you uncomfortable, first, ask why. If the reason is solid, you might want to stay away from this show and these posts. If it's not reasonable for you to be uncomfortable, strap on a pair and dive in.

Dexter and Deb are trying to get Harrison in this exclusive Catholic school. Dexter tells a nun that he doesn’t believe in anything except a set of rules to keep him out of trouble, and Deb tells him that she thinks that’s kind of cold. Later, Dexter goes back and tells the nun that he wants Harrison to learn about faith, so the nun tells him that she will do her best to find a place for him. Dexter may think religion is all bull, and he has no fear of punishment in the afterlife (really, isn't being Dexter punishment enough?), but he wants Harrison to have the opportunity to be normal.

Dexter tries to talk to Angel about God and get some explanation. Angel tells Dexter that every person has a yearning for God and that there is a moral code inside everyone and that it all comes down to faith. Dexter decides this makes no sense. Knowing Dexter, a “the shadow proves the sunshine” approach might have resonated more with him. Dexter doesn’t know what it’s like to feel the good. But he knows the darkness and knows it is dark. He could focus on the contrast. (Speaking of that, this show is so good at showing the contrast between Dexter and regular, life-filled people. That's one of the reasons we like it.)

The main plot of the evening involved Dexter going to his 20-year high school reunion to kill one of his classmates who abused and killed his own wife, a girl who was nice to Dexter in high school. Dexter finds that his classmates remember him, like him, think he’s cute, and think he has a cool job. He’s surprised, because he thought he was invisible. A good-looking woman gives him a blow job. She was very aggressive. Dexter had to play touch football in order to nail his victim, and that was absolutely hilarious. It really IS amazing that Dexter didn’t kill anyone in high school.

Dexter noticed a Jesus tattoo on his victim, and his victim says something like, “Oh, as long as you ask for forgiveness, it’s fine.” Ok, show, you’re going to have to question religion a little better than that. Everyone with half a fair brain knows that sincerity/heart counts in that (assuming it’s real), and you can’t go through life with an “I’ve got a get-out-of-jail-free card” attitude. You have to actually love God and genuinely want to live in alignment with the way he saw things, or so we hear. If there's a God, he will know who is sincere and who is looking for loopholes in something as nice (and, arguably, fair) as grace. He's a hard guy to hoodwink.

If the show continues to skew more against religion making sense, we are going to defend religion this season. If the show goes against atheists and paints them as immoral or arrogant, we will defend the atheists. We've roomed with atheists and have them as friends. They were moral people. We are nothing if not devil's advocates, so we will take the side not represented by the show or comments.

So if you want to debate, discuss, agree, ream us, question, call us idiots, ask what we mean or think about something, or share your thoughts, this season, this show, and the comments of these posts are a great place to do it.

The best, and nastiest, part of the episode was probably when Colin Hanks sewed baby snakes into his victim’s body. Colin Hanks is so creepy, and he always has been. It’s about time he realized that and took this part. Harrison has a new nanny before we even got to figure out why his old one was so weird. Her name is Jamie and she is Angel’s little sister.

Laguerta and Angel have divorced (thank God), and Laguerta was promoted to Captain. She recommended Angel to take her old job. The two seem friendly. Quinn is about to propose to Deb, but a shooter in the restaurant stops him. Sorry Quinn haters. It looks like he and Deb might get more serious. But does anyone else think Deb will say no?

Episode Grade: B+

We Never Thought the Ricin Would End Up Getting to THAT Character

Breaking Bad- End Times

Walt (or was it Marie?) actually makes a smart decision and sends his family to Hank’s house to be protected by the DEA along with Hank and Marie. Walt is acting like the Walt of season one: accepting responsibility for his actions, not blaming others, not whining, and knowing that he deserves some consequences. So he sits with his gun in a patio chair next to his pool. He spins the gun, and for the first few spins, when it stops, it points at him. Did Bryan Cranston practice spinning the gun like that, or did they do multiple takes?

Hank gets one of his cop buddies to search Gus’ laundromat, but he doesn’t find anything. Saul is preparing to skip town, so he gives Jesse all of the money Jesse is owed. He also tells Jesse that Gus threatened Walt’s family. Soon after, Jesse receives a call from Andrea. Brock is in the hospital, gravely ill. That’s right. The ricin didn’t reach its intended victim. We didn’t realize this is what happened to Brock until we saw Jesse go outside the hospital to smoke. Then we were reminded.

The lesson here, clearly, is never to get close to Jesse Pinkman. First it was his girlfriend, then Gale, and now Brock. An occasional ass kicking is the least of Jesse’s worries. Jesse tells Andrea to tell the doctors that it’s ricin, then he drives to Walt’s house to shoot him. Jesse’s brain makes one of the most irrational leaps ever when he somehow decides that Walt poisoned Brock, since he knew about ricin. Walt, just as paranoid as Jesse, thinks that Gus stole Jesse’s ricin and poisoned Brock so that Jesse would suspect Walt and Jesse would kill Walt so that Gus wouldn’t have to and Jesse would keep cooking for him. IT’S BRILLIANT.

Only that doesn’t make much sense either. It’s much more likely that Brock found the cigarette and wanted to be a little rebel and try to smoke. It doesn't matter how Brock got the ricin. All that matters is that Jesse has remembered that Walt isn't all bad, and that Gus' men have put children in danger. We really don't think Gus had anything to do with Brock's poisoning. Walt is just freaking out because of all of Gus' schemes to turn Jesse this season. Walt and Jesse make a plan to kill Gus.

It is the end times. The judgment day. Gus and Jesse meet in the hospital chapel, and it’s clear that Jesse has to definitively choose sides, only he already has. Walt is outside, rigging Gus’ car with a homemade bomb (man, Walt is so cool sometimes) while Jesse distracts him. Gus walks back to his car in the parking garage, but then suddenly stops and starts looking around. Walt was watching nearby, waiting to hit the EXPLODE button. Gus decides against going to his car, turns around, and walks away.

Finale time next week guys! We’re so excited.

Episode grade: A-

Homeland - Pilot

Whoa, Showtime, where did that come from? We were expecting Homeland to be decent, but we really didn’t think it would be that good. We thought it would be quality, but boring, like Boardwalk Empire or something, but we are already totally hooked by this show.

There’s a warning for people who don’t like graphic sex scenes: There are two in this episode. The first one was just an excuse to show one of the most beautiful actresses on TV doing what we should have gotten to see her do with Malcolm Reynolds. The second one was harder to watch but necessary for character development/emotional impact/reality.

Speaking of that scene, all the acting is really great. The pacing is good. The drama is subtle and the episode was interesting. If the show improves or even stays at this quality, it will be the best fall show of the season.

(Spoilers start here)
Claire Danes plays a CIA officer named Carrie Mathison. Her job was to uncover terrorism plots in Iraq, until she got arrested for sneaking into a prison to get information. She was sent back to America with what an inmate whispered in her ear: An American POW has been turned by Al-Qaeda.

Later, Sergeant Nicholas Brody is found and rescued in Iraq after being missing for years. Since he’s the only POW in sight, Carrie wants to check him out. So she illegally wiretaps his house and interrogates him at a CIA debriefing that was supposed to be just a nice formality.

Carrie isn’t really sympathetic yet, but she’s interesting, and she just may be right about Brody. She suffers from some sort of secret mental disorder, and she’s been taking an anti-psychotic since her early 20s to manage it. Is she paranoid and crazy, or does she have a point? Also, she uses her sexuality to manipulate her superiors (unsuccessfully in this episode). She’s feeling guilty about not stopping 9/11, even though her superior tells her that “everyone missed signs that day.”

By the end of the episode, we don’t know if Brody has actually been turned, but we know he lied to Carrie about whether he had seen a famous Al-Qaeda operative. It also looks like he was forced to beat his fellow soldier to death, and he lied to the man’s wife about that. Psh, we would too. That doesn’t make him guilty of treason and plotting terrorism. But Carrie also thinks that his finger tapping on camera was code/a message. Maybe. Or it could be just a nervous tick. The show is going to have a fun time making both sides seem likely for a while.

A major subplot involves Brody’s wife, Jessica, and his two children, a boy and a girl. They all thought he was dead, so Jessica has been sleeping with Brody’s friend, Mike. Why is it always the husband’s friend. Ugh. We think Brody may suspect that they’ve been close. Jessica was about to move in with Mike when she got the news of her husband’s return. We like Jessica. She’s handling things decently, and it’s not like she knew Brody was alive.

Weirdly, during the sex scene and kissing and cookout and TV interviews and everything, we just kept wondering, “Doesn’t this guy want to lie on the couch, eat chips, watch TV, and recover? Why does his wife put on the sexy act on his first day back? It’s not like she wasn’t getting any. We wouldn’t want to put any pressure on him for at least a few days. How about some time to get settled before a bunch of people come over? How about a few days of sleep? How about some time to visit his mom’s grave?” Jeez.

Episode Grade: A, especially for a pilot

Sunday, October 2, 2011

New Show: Boss

Starz, October 21 at 10 pm

Starring: Kelsey Grammer (Frasier, the best show ever, duh) and Connie Nielson (The Devil’s Advocate, Gladiator)

Plot: This is a political drama about a Chicago mayor (Grammer) who is diagnosed with a degenerative neurological disorder. He is both powerful and corrupt. He attempts to hide his condition from everyone except his doctor.

Why We Are Excited: The trailer looks interesting and there is plenty of potential in the premise and cast.

Why We Are Not Excited: Who on this show are we supposed to root for? And are we supposed to find Frasier to be evil and intimidating? Let's hope this role doesn't take him back to a dark place. Check out his bio/early family life and you'll know he has one. Also, the last couple of Starz shows have been things we hated.


Anticipation Score: 5/10

Be sure to click on the "##Upcoming Shows## link in the cloud so you can stay apprised. And let us know if you think you will be watching any of them!

New Show: Hell on Wheels

Hell on Wheels
AMC, November 6

Starring: Common (American Gangster), Colm Meaney (Star Trek), Anson Mount (In Her Shoes, Crossroads) and a few relative unknowns

Plot: Cullen Bohannon (Mount) is a former Confederate soldier seeking revenge on the Union soldiers who murdered his wife.

Why We Are Excited: AMC is one of our most-trusted channels for original dramas, so you know we are going to give this more than a fair chance. Now that we are even into Mad Men, AMC can do no wrong. Our TVs have been missing a good Western. Overall, it looks pretty good.

Why We Are Not Excited: We were underwhelmed by the trailer, but maybe that just means that they didn’t show all of the good parts.


Anticipation Score: 7.5/10

Be sure to click on the "##Upcoming Shows## link in the cloud so you can stay apprised. And let us know if you think you will be watching any of them!

New Show: Enlightened

HBO, Monday October 10

Starring: Laura Dern (Blue Velvet, October Sky) and Luke Wilson (Legally Blonde, Old School, The Royal Tenenbaums)

Plot: Amy Jellicoe (Laura Dern) is a self-destructive executive who has a public breakdown following a breakup. She goes to rehab and has a philosophical epiphany. She then tries to meditate, think positive, and shake up the system in order to get her life together.

Why We Are Excited: This looks like a more grounded, relatable version of Eat, Pray, Love. It definitely looks different and a little funny, without mocking hippies. It could be controversial.

Why We Are Not Excited: Luke Wilson tends to pick a lot of iffy projects. My Super Ex-Girlfriend, anyone? Also, this could be weird or offensive to some.


Anticipation Score: 7/10

Be sure to click on the "##Upcoming Shows## link in the cloud so you can stay apprised. And let us know if you think you will be watching any of them!