This Show Can't Make a Sleepy Episode, Can It?

The Vampire Diaries - "Disturbing Behavior"

Rebecca is not nearly as fun as Katherine, but that doesn’t mean she’s not trying. She’s shocked at the lack of modesty in this century’s clothing, but she’s going to rethink her stance when she realizes what that’s for. To get attention from guys at any cost, duh. She’s having trouble on that front. Even with his memory gone, Stefan is completely over her. Elena happened, and nothing can top that. Rebecca also hates modern, electronic dance music. We do too, Rebecca. Give us something that doesn’t sound like a computer, please.

Gloria uses magic to try to find Rebecca’s old necklace and sees Elena with Caroline and Bonnie, cooking. Gloria doesn’t tell Klaus much about what she sees, because she wants the necklace for herself. Later, she paralyzes and tortures Stefan for the necklace’s location. We find out that Stefan is still very in love with Elena and would do anything for her (as if there was any doubt). Katherine shows up, kills Gloria, saves Stefan, and tells him that she wants a partner in crime. Stefan turns her down, because he’s not a moron and knows that you can’t trust Katherine.

Katherine and Stefan discuss “Michael,” a vampire slayer that Klaus was running from in the 1920s. We assume they mean Archangel Michael, because it seems like no one else has Klaus-killing capabilities. From here, we assume that Stefan is going to look for this vampire killer and set Klaus up, in Chicago, to die by his hand. But that’s not the direction in which the show goes this episode.

Back in Mystic Falls, Elena and Damon are getting cozier. He has even been teaching her how to cook. Elena is looking for a nice, shiny Stefan replacement, so she is unconsciously trying to make Damon into the person his brother was before Klaus. Elena is watching Damon’s every action, and won’t get off his dick. (Not in the literal sense. We wish. Figuratively. She’s being what Damon would call a “buzzkill.”) All of this concerns Alaric, so he gets up in Damon’s grill, asking him to behave. Damon snaps his neck, knowing Alaric has his ring on. Bonnie and Caroline also try to warn Elena about crushing on Damon.

Bonnie returns from her summer away, complicating things emotionally for Jeremy who has progressed in his ghost-sensing abilities to the point where he is having full conversations with Anna. He has been able to block Vicki out, for the most part. At the end of the episode, he blocks Anna out too. When Gloria seeks the necklace, it burns Elena’s neck, zaps Bonnie, and levitates, so Bonnie keeps it to inspect its magical properties. Katherine appears in Mystic Falls and gets the necklace back from Bonnie, doing her ever-reliable Elena impression. Straight hair and a look of concern are all it takes.

Liz gets Damon to compel Bill Forbes into forgetting everything and leaving town. They let Bill go, but it turns out that he has trained his mind to resist compulsion. Bill shows up at a Council meeting and suggests that the town’s water supply be spiked with vervain. Damon goes to kill Bill (aaaand now we want to watch that movie), but then he decides to just feed off of Bill multiple times to drag it out. Caroline bursts in and saves her daddy. We were extremely jazzed to see Damon and Caroline fight.

Bill leaves town, telling Caroline that she will never be alright again, because she’s a vampire. But at least he thanks her for saving him. Man, that’s the worst. Having a parent think you are never going to be fine, no matter what you do. Ugh. Alaric tells Damon he’s a dick and Elena fights with him to get him to become good. Damon calls her on trying to change him, and the two part ways, sulking. Katherine comes to Damon’s house at the exact right moment to secure him as her new ally. They leave on a road trip. Yayy!

Finally Rebecca realizes that Stefan is still attached to his old life. Stefan asks Rebecca about Michael, further tipping her off to Stefan’s true alliances. Rebecca lets her brother know that Stefan isn’t with them, and Klaus trusts his sister’s reportedly infallible instincts. He knocks Stefan out and takes him…back to Mystic Falls to check things out. How long until Klaus realizes that Elena is alive? We’re guessing that he will know by the next episode. Just as we were starting to settle in with the Stefan on the road, undercover theme, the show scraps it. Ahhhhh!

Episode grade: A-