The whole “Real Emily Thorpe” thing is going to wreak havoc on us as recappers, because we were used to being able to use both names to refer to one person. We will just call the duplicitous ladies by their real names. Amanda is the one seeking the revenge, and Emily is the little viper who stole her life, which is a twist that finally pulled Ern onboard with this show. The show would be so much better if Charlotte and Declan weren’t on it, but the show is mostly awesome, so we will accept it.
Emily, who knows Amanda’s attachment to Jack and their history, started seducing Jack. We were all, "NO NO!!! You two-bit whore!" This works alarmingly quickly. Is a brother on the rebound or something? They take Jack’s boat out for a while and then Emily tells Jack that she is his old friend, Amanda. This is the clincher Emily needs to make Jack fall head-over-heels, introduce Emily to Amanda, and show Emily “her father’s” old house. Emily really wants a home and is enthralled by Amanda. But Emily feels betrayed that Amanda wanted to send her to Paris. Amanda is less than pleased with all of this. Emily refuses to leave.
Amanda calls in the big guns - another mentor. It’s a Japanese man who flies in immediately and sees Amanda at Grayson party. Surprise, Daniel! Your girlfriend speaks Japanese. This only makes him love her more, because all men love when women are mysterious and full of surprises. Actually, Daniel might have a little too much of that where Amanda is concerned.
Victoria has been trying to keep Lydia under control with medication, but Conrad takes Lydia away during the party. Conrad is over the whole marriage thing. Daniel is still angry at his mother for having Frank investigate Amanda. Victoria, meanwhile, tries to pay Declan to stop seeing Charlotte. Declan refuses her, and while this was expected, it does help us like him more. Charlotte does the smart thing and tells her mother that Declan dumped her. That was really, really not true. She sneaks out for a romantic night with Declan almost immediately. Ashley sets a lunch date with Victoria in order to give Victoria a little dish on Amanda. Uh oh.
Daniel is back to working for Daddy, and Conrad pits him against Tyler in a race to close an investment deal. Tyler, ever the villain, steals Nolan’s credit card to buy clothes for himself and Ashley so that they can look good at the party and impress the investors. Tyler also asks Nolan to invest in the Grayson business. Nolan finds out that Tyler has that copy of Lydia’s speech and sees that Tyler is looking into David Clarke. Amanda tells Nolan to give Tyler an investment so that he can be distracted with that while she and Nolan figure out a plan to deal with Tyler. At the party, Nolan takes Tyler aside, and Tyler kisses Nolan. Ashley sees this and freaks. Tyler covers by saying that he was just doing it as part of his ambitious plans.
This episode was the show at its twisty best. The Emily/Amanda stuff is particularly inspired. Plus, we’ve found out that Amanda has been trained in the art of revenge, or something, but a Japanese man. This just turned into Kill Bill, in a good way.
Episode grade: A
Friday, November 25, 2011
Parenthood - Mr. Honesty
Kristina, stop crying. You cry just about every week. That said, the fact that Adam didn’t fire his young employee would be hard for a wife to get over. It’s not so much that this girl is an actual threat or that there is anything going on. It’s the fact that he would consider Rachel’s feelings over Kristina’s. She is seriously overreacting though. If Adam is guilty of anything, it’s stupidity. He should have talked with Kristina about giving Rachel another chance and told Kristina about the threat he made to Rachel (if anything like that happens again, you’re fired). He really shouldn't have told Kristina he would fire Rachel without discussing things with Rachel and Crosby.
Adam really couldn’t fire Rachel, because Crosby has been flirting with Rachel enough to give her a wrong idea of the work environment, right? Adam also shouldn’t have walked Rachel to the door after she had been drinking. She is obviously insecure, because of the way she dresses, and Adam could have watched from the car. Adam did a good job in telling Kristina about the kiss in the first place, though. Kristina also has the right to go back to work. She seems really unhappy with being a stay-at-home mom right now. Kristina needs to work out her insecurity, and going back to work will give her an identity boost. The family probably needs the money anyway.
The biggest shock of the night is that Crosby and Jasmine had sex! Dr. Joe doesn’t deserve this treatment, but we are happy for Jabbar, who is still the most adorable little boy on TV, ever. We’re so glad that Amber is asking her mother for help in forming a life plan. Working at a coffee shop and drowning financially sounds like a one-year thing, tops. After that, anyone is going to need some direction in which to go. We also miss seeing Amber on the show more. We suggest a student loan, a better job, and community college.
Adam really couldn’t fire Rachel, because Crosby has been flirting with Rachel enough to give her a wrong idea of the work environment, right? Adam also shouldn’t have walked Rachel to the door after she had been drinking. She is obviously insecure, because of the way she dresses, and Adam could have watched from the car. Adam did a good job in telling Kristina about the kiss in the first place, though. Kristina also has the right to go back to work. She seems really unhappy with being a stay-at-home mom right now. Kristina needs to work out her insecurity, and going back to work will give her an identity boost. The family probably needs the money anyway.
The biggest shock of the night is that Crosby and Jasmine had sex! Dr. Joe doesn’t deserve this treatment, but we are happy for Jabbar, who is still the most adorable little boy on TV, ever. We’re so glad that Amber is asking her mother for help in forming a life plan. Working at a coffee shop and drowning financially sounds like a one-year thing, tops. After that, anyone is going to need some direction in which to go. We also miss seeing Amber on the show more. We suggest a student loan, a better job, and community college.
Poor Joel and Julia. And poor, stupid Zoe who lets her boyfriend, Troy, run the show. Julia and Joel handled the situation perfectly (they didn’t even consider paying for Zoe’s baby). With the new addition of this twist to the storyline, we’ve decided that this whole affair is too soap-y. Granted, this whole show could be seen as a “soap done right.”
Episode grade: B
Thursday, November 24, 2011
American Horror Story - Rubber Man
We predict that pretty much no one is pleased that Tate is the Rubber Man. Ern is unsurprised though, and still loves him. He and Violet are such a nice, messed-up couple. Twisted romance that completely owns all of its twistedness is Ern’s cup of tea. But poor Violet. He’s the father of her siblings, which is just fantastic for all involved. Yeah, it’s all pretty gross, but we are entertained. Leeard is pretty attached to Vivian, because she’s the nicest and only sane person on the show. Last night bummed Leeard out because of what happened to her.
The episode opened with a flashback where the Harmons are moving in, six months ago. Nora, the first owner of the house, is crying that someone is changing her beautiful house. The Rubber Man (who we now know to be Tate) comforts her. Tate wants to help Nora get a baby, because that’s what she always wanted. Since the gay couple fought and decided not to adopt a baby for Nora to steal, Tate and Nora hoped that the Harmons would provide. We flash to the first episode when Viv and the Rubber Man make sweet, freaky love. After the deed is done, the Gimp removes his mask and we see that it is Tate. He is weirdly attached to the ghost women of the house and he wants to help Nora get a baby, even if it’s his. Ghost sperm can totally swim.
The episode flashes back to the present, and Vivian is discussing with Moira and Marcy the fact that she saw ghost Nora in the house. Marcy blows it off and then laments that Mr. Escandarian hasn’t been returning her calls. Moira ate his penis and killed him, if you remember. It’s a tad hard to forget. She’s a maneater. (Wow, we’re lame.) Then we flash back to before, when the gay couple was alive. Chad is having drinks with a female friend and talking about how he thinks Patrick is cheating on him. Chad has been having computer sex with a guy who is into S&M. They chat about it and jerk off, which can’t be super fulfilling. The guy’s name is JungleJim4322 and it looks like he’s using Yahoo! messenger, which is exactly the place to meet people who are horny and repressed, just fyi. It’s a complete waste of time. Stay away.
The female friend advises Chad to become more experimental to save his marriage. Chad goes to an S&M sex shop and really doesn’t understand any of the stuff there. We feel you, Chad, like a rapist with a hot poker. Chad asks the question we are all asking (“How is a latex suit a turn-on?”) and the retailer replies that it dehumanizes the person wearing it, turning him into a giant, moving sex toy/doll for the person having sex with the rubber man. We think that’s really sad. Half of the point of having sex is connecting with another person. Anyone who has to dehumanize another person to enjoy sex is a coward who can’t handle the real, emotional thing. Maybe once-in-a-while would be fine, but over time, that can’t be good for a relationship or a human being.
But Chad wants Patrick, so he buys the rubber suit. When he wears it in front of Patrick, Patrick shuns him. Patrick prefers leather, and he kind of hates Chad. Patrick informs Chad that sex chatting is not cheating. Agree to disagree, Patrick. Patrick leaves and Chad cries. We feel bad for Chad, because we love him and we love Zachary Quinto. In the present, Hayden gives Nora a talk about how all men suck and how the house provides her with fun. She’s sleeping with Constance’s ghost husband and then stabbing him repeatedly. Talk about issues. Hayden and Nora agree to steal Vivian’s twins and make sure Vivian ends up in a mental institution.
In yet another flashback, we see Tate killing the ghosts. He also butt-raped Patrick with a fire poker. He killed them so that another family who might be able to provide a family could take over the house. In the present, Violet has been skipping school to hang out in her room and play with ghosts. Ben tries to take her to task for it, but Violet reams him for cheating and making Vivian start acting crazy. After this episode, we strongly believe that Violet is dead. She hasn’t been out of the house or to school in a while, and she’s seeing more ghosts than anyone. The theory making the rounds is that Tate never actually saved Violet from overdosing. She’s dead, and she doesn’t know she’s dead. Like Bruce Willis. The Harmons had no idea that Violet was sleeping with Tate (ew), ditching school, overdosing, cutting, lying, and possible being dead. They are the freaking worst parents of all time, and maybe Nora SHOULD get Vivian’s next batch of spawn.
Moira tells Vivian that all men have this big conspiracy to oppress women, call them crazy, and lock them up. We agree with the second part. Men do try to paint women as overemotional and crazy. Everything else is just Moira having as many issues as Hayden. Vivian takes Moira’s words to heart. Moira tells Vivian that doctors used to give their female patients orgasms by masturbating them in order to cure their hysteria. One of us kind of wishes that doctors still did that… Moira warns Vivian to get out of the house while she still can. Vivian grabs Violet and they try to leave.
In the car, ghosts surround them, scare the crap out of them, and drive them back to the house. Vivian tries to tell Ben that the house is evil, but he doesn’t believe her. Violet doesn’t back Vivian’s story up, and tells Ben that she didn’t see anything (which pissed one of us off). She is afraid that if she leaves the house or tells her parents about the ghosts, she won’t see Tate again. Her dead, school-shooter, raping, father of her siblings boyfriend. At least Tate isn’t banging Hayden though. That’s loyalty. Vivian, scared, steals Marcy’s gun. Tate sneaks into Vivian’s room to scare her, Vivian screams, Ben runs to Vivian’s aid, and Vivian shoots him. The EMTs save him. The shot was a through-and-through.
Ben gives Vivian some Valium, and Hayden appears to torment Vivian. Vivian, drugged, freaks and then tells Ben that she’s seeing Hayden. Cops arrive and take Vivian away to a mental institution for evaluation or something. We are officially mad at everyone on this show, except for Vivian. Also, this episode gets points off for not including Constance. The last thing we saw was a flashback to where Moira and Tate are setting up the gay guys’ deaths to look like a murder suicide. Tate tells Moira that it’s romantic that now the two will be together forever, which is the creepiest way to look at it ever. Who can think of romance after RAPING SOMEONE WITH A FIRE POKER IN THE ASS?
Episode grade: B-
The episode opened with a flashback where the Harmons are moving in, six months ago. Nora, the first owner of the house, is crying that someone is changing her beautiful house. The Rubber Man (who we now know to be Tate) comforts her. Tate wants to help Nora get a baby, because that’s what she always wanted. Since the gay couple fought and decided not to adopt a baby for Nora to steal, Tate and Nora hoped that the Harmons would provide. We flash to the first episode when Viv and the Rubber Man make sweet, freaky love. After the deed is done, the Gimp removes his mask and we see that it is Tate. He is weirdly attached to the ghost women of the house and he wants to help Nora get a baby, even if it’s his. Ghost sperm can totally swim.
The episode flashes back to the present, and Vivian is discussing with Moira and Marcy the fact that she saw ghost Nora in the house. Marcy blows it off and then laments that Mr. Escandarian hasn’t been returning her calls. Moira ate his penis and killed him, if you remember. It’s a tad hard to forget. She’s a maneater. (Wow, we’re lame.) Then we flash back to before, when the gay couple was alive. Chad is having drinks with a female friend and talking about how he thinks Patrick is cheating on him. Chad has been having computer sex with a guy who is into S&M. They chat about it and jerk off, which can’t be super fulfilling. The guy’s name is JungleJim4322 and it looks like he’s using Yahoo! messenger, which is exactly the place to meet people who are horny and repressed, just fyi. It’s a complete waste of time. Stay away.
The female friend advises Chad to become more experimental to save his marriage. Chad goes to an S&M sex shop and really doesn’t understand any of the stuff there. We feel you, Chad, like a rapist with a hot poker. Chad asks the question we are all asking (“How is a latex suit a turn-on?”) and the retailer replies that it dehumanizes the person wearing it, turning him into a giant, moving sex toy/doll for the person having sex with the rubber man. We think that’s really sad. Half of the point of having sex is connecting with another person. Anyone who has to dehumanize another person to enjoy sex is a coward who can’t handle the real, emotional thing. Maybe once-in-a-while would be fine, but over time, that can’t be good for a relationship or a human being.
But Chad wants Patrick, so he buys the rubber suit. When he wears it in front of Patrick, Patrick shuns him. Patrick prefers leather, and he kind of hates Chad. Patrick informs Chad that sex chatting is not cheating. Agree to disagree, Patrick. Patrick leaves and Chad cries. We feel bad for Chad, because we love him and we love Zachary Quinto. In the present, Hayden gives Nora a talk about how all men suck and how the house provides her with fun. She’s sleeping with Constance’s ghost husband and then stabbing him repeatedly. Talk about issues. Hayden and Nora agree to steal Vivian’s twins and make sure Vivian ends up in a mental institution.
In yet another flashback, we see Tate killing the ghosts. He also butt-raped Patrick with a fire poker. He killed them so that another family who might be able to provide a family could take over the house. In the present, Violet has been skipping school to hang out in her room and play with ghosts. Ben tries to take her to task for it, but Violet reams him for cheating and making Vivian start acting crazy. After this episode, we strongly believe that Violet is dead. She hasn’t been out of the house or to school in a while, and she’s seeing more ghosts than anyone. The theory making the rounds is that Tate never actually saved Violet from overdosing. She’s dead, and she doesn’t know she’s dead. Like Bruce Willis. The Harmons had no idea that Violet was sleeping with Tate (ew), ditching school, overdosing, cutting, lying, and possible being dead. They are the freaking worst parents of all time, and maybe Nora SHOULD get Vivian’s next batch of spawn.
Moira tells Vivian that all men have this big conspiracy to oppress women, call them crazy, and lock them up. We agree with the second part. Men do try to paint women as overemotional and crazy. Everything else is just Moira having as many issues as Hayden. Vivian takes Moira’s words to heart. Moira tells Vivian that doctors used to give their female patients orgasms by masturbating them in order to cure their hysteria. One of us kind of wishes that doctors still did that… Moira warns Vivian to get out of the house while she still can. Vivian grabs Violet and they try to leave.
In the car, ghosts surround them, scare the crap out of them, and drive them back to the house. Vivian tries to tell Ben that the house is evil, but he doesn’t believe her. Violet doesn’t back Vivian’s story up, and tells Ben that she didn’t see anything (which pissed one of us off). She is afraid that if she leaves the house or tells her parents about the ghosts, she won’t see Tate again. Her dead, school-shooter, raping, father of her siblings boyfriend. At least Tate isn’t banging Hayden though. That’s loyalty. Vivian, scared, steals Marcy’s gun. Tate sneaks into Vivian’s room to scare her, Vivian screams, Ben runs to Vivian’s aid, and Vivian shoots him. The EMTs save him. The shot was a through-and-through.
Ben gives Vivian some Valium, and Hayden appears to torment Vivian. Vivian, drugged, freaks and then tells Ben that she’s seeing Hayden. Cops arrive and take Vivian away to a mental institution for evaluation or something. We are officially mad at everyone on this show, except for Vivian. Also, this episode gets points off for not including Constance. The last thing we saw was a flashback to where Moira and Tate are setting up the gay guys’ deaths to look like a murder suicide. Tate tells Moira that it’s romantic that now the two will be together forever, which is the creepiest way to look at it ever. Who can think of romance after RAPING SOMEONE WITH A FIRE POKER IN THE ASS?
Episode grade: B-
Happy (American) Thanksgiving, ya'll. One post today. We'll do Parenthood and the rest of the Wednesday night shows tomorrow. We have turkey on which to feast.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
How I Met Your Mother Twist
For once, we don't know what our opinion is here. On the one hand, we didn't see it coming. On the other, it's not exactly original. Let us know what you think. Are you excited/happy, or are you not? Who do you think is the culprit? Barney or Kevin? It has to be Barney, right? Also, will this change Robin too much? We're not saying moms can't be awesome (obviously, because ours are), but Robin has never wanted kids. Not every woman wants kids, and we liked that the one representing that on network television was someone as awesome as Robin.
Monday, November 21, 2011
The Good Wife - Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
Last week’s episode, “Death Row Tip,” bored us a little, except for the Santa thing and the shootout in front of Cary and Kalinda. Cary has never been hotter. This week, Peter brings Wendy Scott-Carr in to investigate and prosecute Will Gardner. This storyline is super realistic. What man wouldn’t want to go after the man who stole his wife? Peter deserves his wife stolen though, as most of us can agree. Wendy is just as hate-able as we remember. Wendy goes to Diane for information and pretty much threatens Diane in order to get Diane on Peter/WSC’s side in this whole thing. Diane doesn’t back down.
Diane is a character it’s taken us a long time to like. It’s mostly because she’s so dang liberal. We don’t dig political extremism in either direction. It’s lines like, "Do men really have that much success in their life that the first setback that comes along they get all weepy?" that really annoy us. Do feminists have to demean men in order to get their points across? Diane is like one of those elitist, self righteous liberal crusaders one of our Texas daddies reared us to hate. However, Diane is smart as a whip and she’s also pretty fearless. She went directly to Will, told him what was up (he’s being investigated for bribing judges), and demanded that he stop sleeping with Alicia.
The charges are BS, but the investigation could bring down the firm and everything that Diane has worked for. Later, when Eli loses a client, Diane bonds with Eli and helps him drink his sorrows away, commiserating with him. Apparently, Eli doesn’t sleep, because his job is so tiring. Sidenote: Stacie Hall is so much fun. These little side characters who are full of so much personality are part of why The Good Wife is such a colorful, interesting show. Most shows don’t waste time making guests and side characters memorable. This one does.
Jackie Florrick is still driving Alicia’s kids around, at Peter’s request. Jackie goes snooping in Alicia’s computer files, looking for dirt in order to get Peter sole custody. Jackie accidentally turns on Alicia’s webcam while snooping. Alicia is mighty offended, but she still tries to keep the full story from her kids. They figure it out quickly and jump on their mom’s side. Alicia changes the locks and tells Jackie to stay out of her house/go pound sand. Then Alicia takes Zach car shopping so that Jackie doesn’t have to drive them around anymore. This was amazing. Jackie crossed a major line there.
Dana and Kalinda flirt, but then Dana just sleeps with Cary. Dana also buys a jacket just like Kalinda’s so that Cary will love Dana as much as he loves Kalinda. Fat chance. We know that we are the only people on earth who are not enthralled by Kalinda. We just don't find her interesting, even though she is one of the few bisexual characters on TV. We’re eternally annoyed by Kalinda’s wardrobe. Is she really good enough at her job that no one complains about her knee-high, sex worker boots, short skirts, slutty tights, and leather jackets? At least she’s not wearing a red suit to court like Alicia. Eesh.
Meanwhile, Will and Alicia go back to military court with same attorney and judge from last time they were in military court. A young woman was charged with 12 counts of murder because she disobeyed an order and pushed a button, sending drones into a civilian area. She claims that the order was delayed, but the evidence is stacked against her. The client is found guilty and Alicia is upset, because she thinks the young woman was a scapegoat. The judge talks to Alicia after the verdict is read, and drops some truth bombs on her. The verdict was totally just. We agree. Alicia and Will’s defense was total whining.
Episode grade: A-
Diane is a character it’s taken us a long time to like. It’s mostly because she’s so dang liberal. We don’t dig political extremism in either direction. It’s lines like, "Do men really have that much success in their life that the first setback that comes along they get all weepy?" that really annoy us. Do feminists have to demean men in order to get their points across? Diane is like one of those elitist, self righteous liberal crusaders one of our Texas daddies reared us to hate. However, Diane is smart as a whip and she’s also pretty fearless. She went directly to Will, told him what was up (he’s being investigated for bribing judges), and demanded that he stop sleeping with Alicia.
The charges are BS, but the investigation could bring down the firm and everything that Diane has worked for. Later, when Eli loses a client, Diane bonds with Eli and helps him drink his sorrows away, commiserating with him. Apparently, Eli doesn’t sleep, because his job is so tiring. Sidenote: Stacie Hall is so much fun. These little side characters who are full of so much personality are part of why The Good Wife is such a colorful, interesting show. Most shows don’t waste time making guests and side characters memorable. This one does.
Jackie Florrick is still driving Alicia’s kids around, at Peter’s request. Jackie goes snooping in Alicia’s computer files, looking for dirt in order to get Peter sole custody. Jackie accidentally turns on Alicia’s webcam while snooping. Alicia is mighty offended, but she still tries to keep the full story from her kids. They figure it out quickly and jump on their mom’s side. Alicia changes the locks and tells Jackie to stay out of her house/go pound sand. Then Alicia takes Zach car shopping so that Jackie doesn’t have to drive them around anymore. This was amazing. Jackie crossed a major line there.
Dana and Kalinda flirt, but then Dana just sleeps with Cary. Dana also buys a jacket just like Kalinda’s so that Cary will love Dana as much as he loves Kalinda. Fat chance. We know that we are the only people on earth who are not enthralled by Kalinda. We just don't find her interesting, even though she is one of the few bisexual characters on TV. We’re eternally annoyed by Kalinda’s wardrobe. Is she really good enough at her job that no one complains about her knee-high, sex worker boots, short skirts, slutty tights, and leather jackets? At least she’s not wearing a red suit to court like Alicia. Eesh.
Meanwhile, Will and Alicia go back to military court with same attorney and judge from last time they were in military court. A young woman was charged with 12 counts of murder because she disobeyed an order and pushed a button, sending drones into a civilian area. She claims that the order was delayed, but the evidence is stacked against her. The client is found guilty and Alicia is upset, because she thinks the young woman was a scapegoat. The judge talks to Alicia after the verdict is read, and drops some truth bombs on her. The verdict was totally just. We agree. Alicia and Will’s defense was total whining.
Episode grade: A-
Once Upon a Time - Important Information for Fans
No episode of Once Upon a Time aired last night, so in lieu of that, we will give you the important bits of a great interview we read with the show’s writers. They answered some questions we kind of needed answered. We’re actually a little annoyed that most of this wasn’t apparent in the actual show, but whatever. If you get Entertainment Weekly, and you should, you probably already know this.
- Because of the curse, the residents of Storybrooke don’t know how they ended up living there. “They have an existence that for 28 years has made sense to them because of the curse, but only now, with the arrival of Emma, does the haze start to lift.” – Horowitz.
- The clock tower started functioning again when Emma arrived, and this signifies the fact that the war between good and evil has begun. This also means that the townspeople have started aging and regaining a sense of their own will. “What you’re going to see in upcoming episodes is characters starting to free themselves and acting in ways that they previously had not.” We think we saw a little of this in last week’s episode with Cinderella.
- Regina is fully aware that she and the others are fairytale characters. She actually wants a relationship with Henry, but the curse has left her with an emotional void and she can’t love him. Regina is determined to overcome this obstacle and prove to everyone that she can have the curse and her happiness with it.
- Questions that will be answered this season: Why does the Queen hate Snow White? How did Rumpelstiltskin become Rumpelstiltskin?
- Some fairytale characters, like Peter Pan, are not part of the public domain. The show is restricted to using characters the channel (whose parent company is Disney) has access to and those characters that are public domain. At this point, they don’t want to deal with paying people for permission to use the characters, but maybe someday they will. We will probably see The Little Mermaid at some point.
- Henry’s father is important and we might meet him and not know it’s Henry’s father.
- Sheriff Graham is “pivotal” to the story.
Homeland - Achilles Heel
Carrie now believes that Brody is not a terrorist, because Walker is. We, as an audience, are now sure that Brody is at least slightly involved with the terrorists' plans, but he's having some serious second thoughts. Last week’s episode was incredible. An episode grade of "A," for sure. That perfect episode centered around a weekend with Carrie and Brody at Carrie’s family cabin, having sex and bonding. That is until Carrie let slip to Brody that she has been watching him and a confrontation (the likes of which is hardly ever seen outside a season finale) ensued. Now, Brody is angry at Carrie for lying to him, and Carrie keeps trying to apologize, leading us to believe that she has real feelings for Brody. The crying when he left the cabin tipped us off too.
Walker’s young son saw Walker watching him at the boy’s school. Walker has also been calling his family’s voicemail when they are not home, just to hear their recorded voices. Saul and Carrie pronounce Walker’s family to be his “Achilles heel.” Walker is homeless and begging on the D.C. streets. He’s looking at the Capitol building in a way Jack Bauer would not approve of. An older white man in a car passes Walker a key wrapped in a dollar. The key is to a storage facility.
Saul is still reeling from the love of his life, his brown girl, preparing to leave him. As if anyone could leave Inigo Montoya. Carrie goes to Saul’s house and confesses that she had an affair with Brody. He is predictably not pleased. Carrie tells Saul that it’s over, Saul asks if she is ok, and Carrie says that she will survive. They hug. Saul is so nice to Carrie. Carrie is such a complex character. On the one hand, she is paranoid, sometimes cold, manipulative, and possibly mentally ill. On the other hand, she’s capable of real love in grey areas, she’s compassionate, she’s smart, and she’s capable. Women don’t often get to play such fully fleshed-out characters on TV.
The CIA and the FBI team up to catch Walker. Carrie is placed at Helen Walker’s home, and she is in charge of the operation. The Walker boy leaves the house for school on the morning of the op. The plan is for Walker’s wife to pick up the phone when Walker calls and keep Walker talking long enough for the government to trace the call. Duh. These are the 24 writers, after all, and call tracing is in the top five Terrorist Catching Tactics. The other four are breaking rules, torture, whispering to a suspect really quietly then yelling really loudly, and voicing a constant awareness of time constraints (“Dammit. We’re running out of time.”)
Someone calls, and it’s a telemarketer. Yet another reason those should be outlawed. They fuss with national security. Helen crumbles and Carrie talks her back to strength. The next call is Walker. As soon as Helen answers, he hangs up. They really should have had his wife read out a pretend, long message so that he wouldn’t hang up. The CIA should hire us, seriously. Ok, the fake, TV CIA that actually deals with Homeland Security. That’s not really what they do. They gather intelligence, but whatever. This is TV. The CIA does everything, including supplying Jennifer Garner with an endless supply of wigs.
Brody goes back to Jessica, and they come to an understanding. Jessica makes it clear that six years is a damn long time to wait and that she is sorry she made a mistake. Brody apologizes for being difficult. The children notice a positive change in the marriage and family life. Brody, Jessica, Saul, and Saul’s wife attend a party thrown by Elizabeth Gaines, who clearly wants to bone Saul. Brody shows up in uniform, which we think is kind of a jerk move. We really hate the way the actor speaks, too. Everything about it just rubs our ears the wrong way. Everyone at the party is really nice to Brody/Elizabeth, because Brody is being groomed to be a Congressional candidate for the Democratic party. Wait until everyone finds out he’s a Muslim….
That night, Carrie is still at Helen Walker’s house. They discuss the men in their lives. Helen never stopped loving Tom, even now. Tom Walker calls Helen in the middle of the night, and Helen chooses not to go through with the government’s plan and actually warns Walker that he needs to book it. The Feds chase Walker, and he runs into a mosque. The FBI agents accidently shoot two random Muslims. The FBI publically declares Walker a terrorist so that the murders will be eclipsed by the needs of national security. Also, the FBI wants the public to keep a lookout for Walker, because Walker has gotten away. Good luck sorting through every tip where an American sees a homeless black guy and calls it in… Walker goes to the storage unit, where he finds a gun.
Carrie goes to Brody’s house to tell Brody that Tom Walker is alive. Abu Nazir tricked Brody into thinking he killed Walker. Carrie assures Brody that she kept all of his secrets from the government and tries, again, to explain herself. The friendship and affair is not rekindled, because Brody still feels used by Carrie for her job. Saul was going to make breakfast for his wife and see her to the airport, but he had to leave when the CIA called, even though he had only hours to convince her to stay. Saul’s wife took note of that, and this made her choice to leave Saul for India a lot easier. Meanwhile, Carrie has an epiphany that she is going to be alone her whole life. There’s still hope, Carrie (or at least that’s what we single, adult TV addicts tell ourselves).
The episode ended with Brody finding the old white guy who passed Walker the key. His house is fancy. Brody angrily demands answers from Old White Guy. The OWG said, “You'll have to take it up with your boyfriend Abu Nazir.” We kind of figured that when Brody said he “loved“ Abu Nazir it was more than platonic. That’s why he was “ashamed,” probably. Gay sex might not have occurred, but for some reason the show wants its audience to think it did, at this point. Brody tells Old White Guy to tell Nazir that “he’s through talking with Nazir…it’s over.” Ohhh, Carrie, if only you could have heard this… We wonder if she’s be appalled that she shared a man with Abu Nazir.
Walker’s young son saw Walker watching him at the boy’s school. Walker has also been calling his family’s voicemail when they are not home, just to hear their recorded voices. Saul and Carrie pronounce Walker’s family to be his “Achilles heel.” Walker is homeless and begging on the D.C. streets. He’s looking at the Capitol building in a way Jack Bauer would not approve of. An older white man in a car passes Walker a key wrapped in a dollar. The key is to a storage facility.
Saul is still reeling from the love of his life, his brown girl, preparing to leave him. As if anyone could leave Inigo Montoya. Carrie goes to Saul’s house and confesses that she had an affair with Brody. He is predictably not pleased. Carrie tells Saul that it’s over, Saul asks if she is ok, and Carrie says that she will survive. They hug. Saul is so nice to Carrie. Carrie is such a complex character. On the one hand, she is paranoid, sometimes cold, manipulative, and possibly mentally ill. On the other hand, she’s capable of real love in grey areas, she’s compassionate, she’s smart, and she’s capable. Women don’t often get to play such fully fleshed-out characters on TV.
The CIA and the FBI team up to catch Walker. Carrie is placed at Helen Walker’s home, and she is in charge of the operation. The Walker boy leaves the house for school on the morning of the op. The plan is for Walker’s wife to pick up the phone when Walker calls and keep Walker talking long enough for the government to trace the call. Duh. These are the 24 writers, after all, and call tracing is in the top five Terrorist Catching Tactics. The other four are breaking rules, torture, whispering to a suspect really quietly then yelling really loudly, and voicing a constant awareness of time constraints (“Dammit. We’re running out of time.”)
Someone calls, and it’s a telemarketer. Yet another reason those should be outlawed. They fuss with national security. Helen crumbles and Carrie talks her back to strength. The next call is Walker. As soon as Helen answers, he hangs up. They really should have had his wife read out a pretend, long message so that he wouldn’t hang up. The CIA should hire us, seriously. Ok, the fake, TV CIA that actually deals with Homeland Security. That’s not really what they do. They gather intelligence, but whatever. This is TV. The CIA does everything, including supplying Jennifer Garner with an endless supply of wigs.
Brody goes back to Jessica, and they come to an understanding. Jessica makes it clear that six years is a damn long time to wait and that she is sorry she made a mistake. Brody apologizes for being difficult. The children notice a positive change in the marriage and family life. Brody, Jessica, Saul, and Saul’s wife attend a party thrown by Elizabeth Gaines, who clearly wants to bone Saul. Brody shows up in uniform, which we think is kind of a jerk move. We really hate the way the actor speaks, too. Everything about it just rubs our ears the wrong way. Everyone at the party is really nice to Brody/Elizabeth, because Brody is being groomed to be a Congressional candidate for the Democratic party. Wait until everyone finds out he’s a Muslim….
That night, Carrie is still at Helen Walker’s house. They discuss the men in their lives. Helen never stopped loving Tom, even now. Tom Walker calls Helen in the middle of the night, and Helen chooses not to go through with the government’s plan and actually warns Walker that he needs to book it. The Feds chase Walker, and he runs into a mosque. The FBI agents accidently shoot two random Muslims. The FBI publically declares Walker a terrorist so that the murders will be eclipsed by the needs of national security. Also, the FBI wants the public to keep a lookout for Walker, because Walker has gotten away. Good luck sorting through every tip where an American sees a homeless black guy and calls it in… Walker goes to the storage unit, where he finds a gun.
Carrie goes to Brody’s house to tell Brody that Tom Walker is alive. Abu Nazir tricked Brody into thinking he killed Walker. Carrie assures Brody that she kept all of his secrets from the government and tries, again, to explain herself. The friendship and affair is not rekindled, because Brody still feels used by Carrie for her job. Saul was going to make breakfast for his wife and see her to the airport, but he had to leave when the CIA called, even though he had only hours to convince her to stay. Saul’s wife took note of that, and this made her choice to leave Saul for India a lot easier. Meanwhile, Carrie has an epiphany that she is going to be alone her whole life. There’s still hope, Carrie (or at least that’s what we single, adult TV addicts tell ourselves).
The episode ended with Brody finding the old white guy who passed Walker the key. His house is fancy. Brody angrily demands answers from Old White Guy. The OWG said, “You'll have to take it up with your boyfriend Abu Nazir.” We kind of figured that when Brody said he “loved“ Abu Nazir it was more than platonic. That’s why he was “ashamed,” probably. Gay sex might not have occurred, but for some reason the show wants its audience to think it did, at this point. Brody tells Old White Guy to tell Nazir that “he’s through talking with Nazir…it’s over.” Ohhh, Carrie, if only you could have heard this… We wonder if she’s be appalled that she shared a man with Abu Nazir.
Episode grade: A-
Checking in on Dexter - Btw, the show has been renewed for seasons 7 and 8
"Sin of Omission"
Deb - Annoying or totally correct about everything?
Debra Morgan is sick of Dexter being emotionally distant, which is something she’s gonna have to get over, because he’s a sociopath. Debra found out that Dexter went to Nebraska and didn’t tell her, which she sees as “a lie.” This makes her curse even more than usual, which we find hilarious. Lots of people hate the character for that. We think it’s about time that she pay more attention to Dexter though. She’s a detective who is supposedly good at her job who also hangs out with a serial killer multiple times. FINALLY she’s fed up with Dexter disappearing for “me time,” and never telling her a damn thing.
We miss Brother SamSome people are really disappointed in this season. They say that the Big Bads aren’t scary and there’s too much focus on Deb. We think Brother Sam was the obvious highlight of the season so far. We like that he is bringing out another side in Dexter. No one is pure, 100% evil. Developing Dexter’s “light” side after we’ve seen him grapple with his darkness for years is interesting to us. He reached Travis and Trinity’s son because of the things Sam told us. The nasty, bloody Bible was icing on the cake of Sam’s gifts. RIP, bro.
Travis is imagining Professor GellarWe’ve thought this for a while, but after this episode especially, we think it is very possible that Travis is making up Gellar in his head. Travis is clearly insane. We haven’t seen any reason that he would follow Gellar in the first place unless Gellar is elsewhere and Travis’ brain has fooled him into thinking his old professor is guiding him. We have an “End of Fight Club” situation here, and we don’t like it. Who else actually sees Gellar except for Travis? Even Dexter didn’t get to see him. Are we really supposed to believe that ancient-as-hell Gellar jumped out of a second-story window? The only weird thing is that would mean Travis chained himself up, which would mean that the show needs to explain how he would have gotten out of that mess. Key secretly in the pocket? Still, come on! Gellar’s totally a figment.
LaGuerta, when will you die?LaGuerta has been annoying from day one, and now she is covering up for the John who gave the dead hooker CPR. At first, we reluctantly agreed with LaGuerta that if the John didn’t murder the hooker, that case did not take precedent with Miami on edge. But now, we realize that LaGuerta should have been the whore in Gellar’s tableau. Also, how disappointing was that many-headed alligator creature? It should have been much nastier. Sad about Travis’ sister though. It looks like Deb might be Gellar’s next target.
ReligionWe’re digging all the religion this season. The confession to the old, demented priest was almost sweet. Good casting on the old man there. It would take a crazy priest to absolve Dexter, but absolved Dexter is. Possibly. The blog’s resident Catholic didn’t write this post, so she might call BS if she ever catches up on this show. Dexter reads the Bible and uses a choice verse to let Travis know that the sin of omission is still a sin. It’s the Bible’s version of “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” We agree. This season is rife with moral thought and shades of grey. It’s not the deepest thing we’ve ever seen/read, but it’s deep for TV.
Miscellaneous
We have to give this season credit for focusing on Dexter, Deb, and baddies, not annoying side characters. Still, they get short scenes. Quinn got drunk at a strip club with Masuka and tried to propose to one of the dancers. We really need for him to get over Deb already. Or die. Because pathetic Quinn is bumming us the heck out. Batista tells Puppy Dog Intern that Jamie isn’t ready to settle down and “sees a lot of guys.” We’re sure Jamie will appreciate that. We could do without Batista AND LaGuerta at this point in the show. Batista is just not interesting, and LaGuerta is too much of a witch with a “b.”
Deb - Annoying or totally correct about everything?
Debra Morgan is sick of Dexter being emotionally distant, which is something she’s gonna have to get over, because he’s a sociopath. Debra found out that Dexter went to Nebraska and didn’t tell her, which she sees as “a lie.” This makes her curse even more than usual, which we find hilarious. Lots of people hate the character for that. We think it’s about time that she pay more attention to Dexter though. She’s a detective who is supposedly good at her job who also hangs out with a serial killer multiple times. FINALLY she’s fed up with Dexter disappearing for “me time,” and never telling her a damn thing.
We miss Brother SamSome people are really disappointed in this season. They say that the Big Bads aren’t scary and there’s too much focus on Deb. We think Brother Sam was the obvious highlight of the season so far. We like that he is bringing out another side in Dexter. No one is pure, 100% evil. Developing Dexter’s “light” side after we’ve seen him grapple with his darkness for years is interesting to us. He reached Travis and Trinity’s son because of the things Sam told us. The nasty, bloody Bible was icing on the cake of Sam’s gifts. RIP, bro.
Travis is imagining Professor GellarWe’ve thought this for a while, but after this episode especially, we think it is very possible that Travis is making up Gellar in his head. Travis is clearly insane. We haven’t seen any reason that he would follow Gellar in the first place unless Gellar is elsewhere and Travis’ brain has fooled him into thinking his old professor is guiding him. We have an “End of Fight Club” situation here, and we don’t like it. Who else actually sees Gellar except for Travis? Even Dexter didn’t get to see him. Are we really supposed to believe that ancient-as-hell Gellar jumped out of a second-story window? The only weird thing is that would mean Travis chained himself up, which would mean that the show needs to explain how he would have gotten out of that mess. Key secretly in the pocket? Still, come on! Gellar’s totally a figment.
LaGuerta, when will you die?LaGuerta has been annoying from day one, and now she is covering up for the John who gave the dead hooker CPR. At first, we reluctantly agreed with LaGuerta that if the John didn’t murder the hooker, that case did not take precedent with Miami on edge. But now, we realize that LaGuerta should have been the whore in Gellar’s tableau. Also, how disappointing was that many-headed alligator creature? It should have been much nastier. Sad about Travis’ sister though. It looks like Deb might be Gellar’s next target.
ReligionWe’re digging all the religion this season. The confession to the old, demented priest was almost sweet. Good casting on the old man there. It would take a crazy priest to absolve Dexter, but absolved Dexter is. Possibly. The blog’s resident Catholic didn’t write this post, so she might call BS if she ever catches up on this show. Dexter reads the Bible and uses a choice verse to let Travis know that the sin of omission is still a sin. It’s the Bible’s version of “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” We agree. This season is rife with moral thought and shades of grey. It’s not the deepest thing we’ve ever seen/read, but it’s deep for TV.
Miscellaneous
We have to give this season credit for focusing on Dexter, Deb, and baddies, not annoying side characters. Still, they get short scenes. Quinn got drunk at a strip club with Masuka and tried to propose to one of the dancers. We really need for him to get over Deb already. Or die. Because pathetic Quinn is bumming us the heck out. Batista tells Puppy Dog Intern that Jamie isn’t ready to settle down and “sees a lot of guys.” We’re sure Jamie will appreciate that. We could do without Batista AND LaGuerta at this point in the show. Batista is just not interesting, and LaGuerta is too much of a witch with a “b.”
This season isn't bad, but we haven't been thrilled for a second. You need to hire a terrifying/terrific actor to play your Big Bad, show. Lithgow is what made the Trinity season great.
Episode grade: C+
Episode grade: C+
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Twilight and Arrested Development
Twilight didn't break Harry Potter 7's record, thank GOD.
And Arrested Development's deal for 10 more episodes is officially on. Netflix will exclusively air it. So, if you don't have Netflix, shame on you and this is a reason to get it. Yayyy!
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