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Saturday, November 12, 2011

Vampire Diaries Season 3 Mid-season Finale


We won’t be getting any more new episodes until January 5th. We know it hurts. We feel the same pain. However, this show isn’t one to leave us unsatisfied for a hiatus. Of course it leaves us wanting more, but we don’t feel cheated. We were pretty surprised that the show chose to kill Mikael off this early and let Klaus live keep being the Big Bad. We don’t know if we approve. Mikael had potential to be scarier. Klaus is kind of a sad whiner. All he wants is a family. Boo hoo. NOT SCARY.

It’s senior homecoming, and Elena, Damon, Stefan, and Mikael are plotting to get Klaus back to Mystic Falls, with the help of a sad, reluctant Rebecca. Elena daggers Mikael so that Stefan could call Klaus and truthfully tell Klaus that he saw Mikael daggered. Stefan is still under a compulsion, after all. Rebekah confirms that this is what happened over the phone, to Klaus. Klaus prepares to return with the hybrids he has made while he was gone.

The gang pulls the dagger out of Mikael so that he can go retrieve the big stake made out of that original white oak tree that can kill an original for good. The stake looks pretty magnificent. He kept it hidden for insurance. Elena daggers Rebekah too, in case she ends up having second thoughts about her brother. Rebekah’s reunion with her father was less than heartwarming, but Mikael seemed sad at her coldness.

Klaus returns to town and floods the high school gym so that the homecoming dance and party have to be held at Tyler’s mansion. There is a grungy looking band (My Morning Jacket) playing in the backyard, and all of Klaus’ hybrids have come to back him up. Matt and Tyler make sure Caroline is out of the action. Tyler tells Caroline that he is happy he has been made into a hybrid because he doesn’t have to transform at the full moon if he doesn’t want to anymore. Caroline doesn’t like his allegiance to Klaus, so it looks like the couple is over, for now. But we still have hope for them. What is this show even doing with Matt, at this point? Possible romance with Rebekah, maybe?

Bonnie renders Tyler unconscious so that he doesn’t have to jump into the fray on Klaus’ orders if things go wrong. Klaus contacts Stefan and asks Stefan to bring Mikael to the homecoming party. Stefan agrees, in exchange for his freedom. Stefan goes to clue Mikael and Damon in on the plan (which Katherine is also in on, by the way), and Mikael drains Stefan’s blood to keep him from interfering with Damon and Elena’s plan, because Stefan is still compelled to obey Klaus if Klaus says the right words or asks the right questions.

Mikael goes to the Lockwood party, but he can’t get into the home, because he hasn’t been invited in. That is where Klaus is. Mikael taunts Klaus about being alone, which isn’t very nice. But this is the episode where we started liking Mikael better than Klaus. Unluckily for us, it’s Mikael who ended up dead, because Stefan cared about his brother and so did Katherine. You see, if Klaus had died, Damon would have been killed next. Klaus’ hybrids had been ordered to kill Damon if anything happened to Klaus. Katherine tells Stefan this, and Stefan’s feelings for Damon wake his humanity up enough for him to act. So Stefan kills Mikael, earning his own freedom.

At some point during all of this, Katherine throws out some wolfsbane grenades toward the hybrids, and they run. It’s pretty awesome. Elena and Damon return to the Salvatore house and lament that their crafty plan failed to result in Klaus’ death. They think that Stefan is still compelled by Klaus and that Stefan betrayed them to save his new master. Damon and Elena have a moment, probably almost kiss, and agree to let Stefan go, because they are never getting him back. They get a call from Katherine, interrupting things. It was a pretty pointless phone call anyway. UGH.

Katherine confesses to Stefan that she loved both him and Damon, and that she wants to protect Stefan’s humanity. The next day, Stefan calls Klaus and lets him know that he stole all of Klaus’ coffins full of family members for revenge. Gasp! How are they going to kill Klaus now? We seriously can’t believe that we have to wait around two months for this show to come back. We hope they de-stake Rebekah and she becomes part of the gang. Elena has to make this up to her.

Episode grade: A

Friday, November 11, 2011

11/11/11, Vampire Diaries, and Redemption Day

Because it's "redemption day," we'd love it if you checked this out.

If you're not familiar with human trafficking at all, watch this short video and check out Redeem the Shadows. We know good people with that organization, and they need help spreading awareness. Here's their tumblr.

Anyway, you should also be aware that tonight at 11/11/11 at 11:11 P.M., you will have the opportunity to make the most epic wish ever. Don't let it go to waste. We intend to spend our wishes on "ten more great seasons of The Vampire Diaries."

Speaking of that show, there will be no long review of that show today, because Leeard has no computer today. If there is bad grammar and spelling, well, we can blame Leeard's lack of a computer to edit for that too. Ern will have to bring her computer to Leeard's house tomorrow and then we will get the show on the road. We will mention it in the drama shorts this weekend. (Dude, who watched Grey's Anatomy this week? Intense.)

Funny Stuff- But too bad there were no abc comedies this week :(

New Girl - “CeCe Crashes”
We were surprised that the Nick and Jess pairing that will so obviously happen was already addressed. CeCe convinced Jess that Nick has feelings for her, and this freaked Jess out a little too much. That’s not a promising start to a relationship. Schmidt spent the episode trying to “close” with CeCe, and he “succeeded” because they slept in the same bed and held hands. Aww. Actually, we see those two together.
Episode grade: B

Up All Night - “First Night Away”
Reagan and Chris find it hard to find time for sex, so they decide to go away for a night. They get a full night of sleep and some sex. Ava babysat and met Reagan and Chris’ neighbor, Kevin, a single dad. Ava and Kevin hit it off and kissed. We really liked this episode because it made great use of Maya Rudolph, who we usually love. Sometimes her character on this show can be too silly, but this week the character was funny and she fit.
Episode grade: A-

South Park - “A History Channel Thanksgiving”
This was one of the weakest recent South Park episodes, but since the show returned in the fall, it has been really strong, so saying an episode is weak by those standards isn’t much of a diss. This episode mocked The History Channel, Thor, and Thanksgiving. It also mocked people who pretend to be part Native American in order to get the benefits and cool points. The Thor and Natalie Portman stuff was pretty funny.
Episode grade: B

America’s Next Top Model - “Nikos Papadopoulos”
Question: Who the hell has Shannon as their role model? We want to SEE these letters written by young girls to Shannon, because we don’t believe that they exist. The blogger writing this entry actually is a Christian and gets made fun of by the guys in her program for dressing too conservatively and appearing “virginal.” This blogger would like to give a big “Go F yourself” to those guys. Moving on… The reason this blogger doesn’t like Shannon is the same reason Nigel was perplexed by her. It IS semantics. It’s all about whether it’s called a bathing suit or panties? Dumb. It’s morals for no reason. She just looked like a hypocrite in her season, so Shannon wanted to come back and redeem herself by continuing to stand up for morality. Unfortunately for her, the producers didn’t have anyone pose nude this time. We know the show only brought Shannon back for drama, and that’s also the reason they brought out the panties again. She was too old to win. We don’t like rules for the sake of rules. There are plenty of things to stand for without making dumb stuff up. Good riddance. Allison is one step closer.
Episode grade: B-

The Office - “Pam’s Replacement”
Only Dwight could repeatedly grab another man’s crotch and have it be totally not gay. We haven’t like Jim and Pam this much in an episode in a long time, however. They were cute and funny. Pairing these two with Dwight is always a success. If only the Robert California/Kevin/Andy/Daryl band hadn’t gotten so much attention. That wasn’t funny, but that drummer was pretty good.
Episode grade: B-

Parks and Recreation - “The Treaty”
We liked seeing Leslie go bloodthirsty for a bit, and we liked watching Ron whip Tom back into shape, but this episode just wasn’t as funny as this show usually is. It was cool to see Ann tell Chris about how she grew as a person after their relationship. The reason he gave up on her WAS because he got bored, because she had stopped being herself. If Ann can find a way to keep her sarcastic, down-to-earth personality while she is around Chris, there might be hope for them to become a couple again. And this time, to become a good one. He needs someone to mock him every once-in-a-while. Also, the moon should totally be part of the U.N.
Episode grade: B

Community - “Studies in Modern Movement”
We’re getting a little sick of the Shirley vs. Britta religion stuff. One of them needs to convert so that they stop it. Also, the Pierce stuff wasn’t very funny. But the Jeff Winger stuff was fantastic. Way to ruin that Seal song for us! Ok, who are we kidding? That song ruins itself. Guilty pleasure, though, for one of us. The Troy/Abed/Annie plot was sweet. This episode had enough laughs and sweet character moments to make it more than enjoyable.
Episode grade: B+

Thursday, November 10, 2011

SAMCRO Puts On the Best Show (and comments on some other dramas this week)

American Horror Story - “Piggy Piggy”
So, school shootings are horror fodder now? We thought that opening scene was more really sad than scary. Also sad was the cutting scene. Where are Violet’s parents when she is clearly depressed and spending too much time in her room? We are really excited that Violet knows that the house is full of ghosts now, and that Tate is a ghost. This whole Tate being a dead school shooter is going to put a crimp in their love… We are also happy that Vivian is done being nice to Ben. “You’re a disappointment as a man.” Wow, haha. Harsh. Cam from Modern Family guest starred as another ghost patient, and he did a great job. We liked the new medium. We feel bad for Tate, because it seems like the murder house warped his brain and helped cause the shooting. He doesn’t remember doing it, after all.
Episode grade: B

The Walking Dead - “Cherokee Rose”
Rick begs Hershel to let everyone stay at his farm. Maggie and Glenn have sex. Lori realizes that she’s pregnant. AMC is the channel for the “slow burn,” as shown by Breaking Bad, and The Walking Dead is going for this. More action, and possibly hope and a plot arc, are probably on the way. In the meantime, people shall grumble that it’s all going slowly and sometimes it can be, at the same time, too bleak and too saccharine. But we’re still invested. We like Rick a lot. When the walker in the well split in two, one of us literally gagged and coughed a little. That was seriously disgusting. Dead guts are nastier than living guts. This show wins the award for grossest show we’ve ever seen, bar none.
Episode grade: B-

Gossip Girl - “I Am Number Nine”
Blair has a “minion-off” where her former “friends” competed for bridesmaids positions. Charlie gets lobbed into the competition when Nelly Yuki doesn’t show, and she wins the spot. Diana and Nate go public while Charlie seems to have developed feelings for him. Serena torpedoes the move deal with Dan when she realizes her boss is going to paint Dan’s character in a negative light. Louis conspires to drive Chuck back into crazytown by bribing Chuck’s therapist. It turns out the baby actually is Louis’. Louis is bad at scheming, so the therapist simply has to close her practice and Blair freaks that Louis is turning into an insecure trickster. Then, the best thing ever happened: Chuck came to Blair and apologized, sincerely, for literally everything wrong he did to her. It was pretty powerful. That scene gets an A+, but the whole episode gets a B. Chuck growing up and healing is just as interesting as Chuck the bad boy. Keep it coming.
Episode grade: B

Ringer - “Maybe We Can Get a Dog Instead”
Andrew thinks that Siobhan had a miscarriage now. Mr. Carpenter does the RIGHT thing and transfers Juliet out of his class when she comes onto him. But Juliet isn’t giving up yet… Malcolm comes to New York and Agent Machado hounds him like he’s Osama Bin Ladin (or whoever the biggest terrorist around now is). Tyler’s affair with Siobhan is over after he comes to New York and sees Bridget with his boss…and thinks it’s Siobhan. Bridget’s new sponsor is tasked with taking care of Malcolm. When Malcolm comes to Bridget for help with his drug addiction, she takes him right to her helpful sponsor. Uh oh… This episode was ok. Things are moving along. The last couple were better.
Episode grade: B-

Sons of Anarchy - “Hands”
This is going to be short, because all there is to say is “OMG” and “this was the best episode of the season so far.”
Episode grade: A

Parenthood - “In-Between”
Seth was actually on the level!!! And he made a major sacrifice for his family and did a sweet thing for his kids. We were touched by this episode. We are also starting to feel for and like Crosby again.
Episode grade: A-

Pan Am - “Truth or Dare”
This could be the best, and most fun, episode yet. The civil rights stuff was too black-and-white and “after school special,” as well-argued by this blog. However, Leeard loves Niko, and it was just a really cute episode.
Episode grade: B+

Weeds Got Renewed!

There will be a season 8 for Weeds. Thank God, because the show could NOT end the way season 7 did.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Glee: I always thought it would be me, but I secretly hoped it would be you

The PTC (a conservative watchdog group) kind of has a point this time. The PTC has a long history to objecting to the sexual activity of fictional people, but we grudgingly nod our heads to the organization regarding this episode. The sex wasn’t graphic at all. In fact, they really didn’t show anything with either couple, except an adorable shot of Blaine and Kurt with their cute little heads together. The PTC wrote, “The fact that Glee intends to celebrate children having sex is reprehensible. The gender of the high school characters involved is irrelevant.” The PTC also noted that more teenage characters are shown having sex on prime time TV than adults, and that Fox knows Glee is marketed toward teens and preteens. It might normalize high school sex for them, and it’s irresponsible to teach them that this is something they should seriously consider doing.

One of us REALLY hates that everyone has to have sex in high school on TV. Like…you don’t have to. We promise. True, some characters don’t (Angela Chase, Felicity), but most do. TV writers and producers live in the world of Hollywood, where it is all fast-paced and all about sex, all the time. That world is about getting what you want, when you want it. It’s about desire and materialism/the physical. So most of these people making the shows have had lots of sex, and a lot of it was probably casual. They want this to be seen as normal. They don’t want to be judged. So they foist their values onto the world through TV, in the hopes that they can influence the culture to think it’s not a big deal to eschew traditional morality. However, it makes it harder for teens who choose to wait until they are emotionally mature enough to handle it. They become freaks and prudes.

The episode was clear with its rules on sex. There were two very obvious plugs for using protection. Rachel even said, “Every modern girl comes prepared.” Otherwise, the writers say that it’s ok to have sex for the first time “if it feels right” and it’s special. We think high school sex is usually a bad idea, because we have BEEN in high school, and we remember what tards we were. And we were considered the smart kids. Experience is everything. In high school, you don’t know dick about life, let alone love. Hormones are in control, and really do affect the way teens think. You don’t know who you are, and you are still creating that and trying to improve your personality. You are still living with your parents. You also do things for the wrong reasons 99% of the time (to fit in, because you want to grow up fast, to get things over with, to look good, to please your parents, etc). Sex is for adults, not children. If you are in high school, you are a child. In the next four years, you will experience changes beyond anything you can currently imagine.

For the characters themselves, in a fictional world, it was the right time. No one was violating any of their values. They waited until they were in love and in a monogamous relationship, and even then, they didn’t give it up right away. Rachel hasn't been throwing herself around. And sex with Rachel is a step up for Finn, since the last girl he had sex with wasn’t exactly the love of his life. As for Kurt and Blaine? How can you go wrong after Burt Hummel’s amazing sex talk? Ryan Murphy said, “I think what it says to a lot of young gay people who are confused and ashamed is that you can get love and are worthy of love.” We like that. We are happy for these couples, and we like them together. We don't think either couple is a "forever" couple though.

This episode was definitely a return to season 1 form. There were only a few main storylines, and old storylines were revisited (Mike, Beiste). No one did anything absolutely ridiculous, except for Artie telling Rachel and Blaine that they needed to have sex in order to play people in love in their high school musical. As if, Artie. That’s ridiculous. Also, no one should be taking sex advice from Artie since he lost his virginity to Brittany, who had to pick him up out of his wheelchair like he was a lady in order to do it and called him by another name the whole time. The worst thing is that Artie was in love with Tina at the time and regretted losing it to Brittany. After rehearsals, Rachel planned to have sex with Finn.

Right before Finn closed in, Rachel hinted that she was doing it for the musical. This hurt Finn’s little feelings, and so he left the situation. Rachel consults Quinn, Santana, Brittany, and Tina and asks them all (at the same time, in one room) if she should have sex or wait. Santana says no, because she thinks Finn was bad in bed. Quinn says that she regretted losing something that she could never get back, and that it makes things more complicated. Brittany was apparently raped at camp or something, and it's really not that funny of a joke. Tina said that her first time with Mike and his abs was magical and that she has no regrets.

Finn is told by the Ohio State recruiter that his football career is over. Ouch. Finn tells Rachel, and then she has sex with him. Meanwhile, Blaine visits the Warblers, and they sing a horrible version of "Uptown Girls" to him, and it’s really gay. The new guy, Sebastian, takes a shine to Blaine and flirts with him rather aggressively. Blaine lets Sebastian know that he has a boyfriend (good, Blaine), and Sebastian invites them both to Scandals, the gay bar. At Scandals, which is a ridiculous name, Blaine gets drunk and dances with Sebastian the whole night. Kurt hangs out at the bar with Max Karofsky, who transferred to a new school for his senior year and is still in the closet. The encounter between the two is friendly. When Blaine and Kurt leave, Kurt puts Blaine in the back seat. Blaine pulls Kurt on top of him and tries to get some sexy time. Kurt gets angry, because this is clearly not the perfect scenario, and refuses. Later, they make up and have sex at Blaine’s house.

West Side Story is finally over! Yay! Now we can probably hear a song from a different musical. The Ohio State recruiter asks Beiste out on a date, with a little nudging from Artie. Mike Chang fights with his father and tells him that he is not going to be a doctor. He is going to be a professional dancer. The father is all, “You’re no longer my son.” And Mike’s all, “Then I guess I don’t have a dad anymore.” Man, mega harsh. Are Asian parents really that strict? Artie gets really controlling as director and clearly loves bossing people around, as well as giving them complexes about their sex lives. Oh Artie, you’re the worst. However, in a position of power, one of us can totally get the same way. It looks like this is one of Damian’s seven episodes, since he was in it for about a second. Cheap. The number “America” was pretty fun. It was Hispanics and Asians v. Whites and Asians. We want Santana’s red dress.

Leeard's grade: C+
Ern's grade: B
Episode grade: B-

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

An interesting affair, Dexter nearly forgives, Will might get disbarred, best kiss of the year, Taylor's son, and hoarders.

Homeland - “The Good Soldiers”
Brody finally punches his best friend for sleeping with his wife. Then he goes right off and sleeps with Carrie. Can you believe it? The encounter lets Carrie know that Brody is really good at taking polygraphs. Did Saul slip the terrorist the razor blade? THAT would be interesting. On any other show, the new affair would be tawdry and silly. On this show, it’s intense and psychologically sick. We love it.
Episode grade: A-

Dexter - “Just Let Go”
Who knew this Brother Sam thing would actually push Dexter even further to the darkness? He has a new person sitting on his shoulder, like his ghost dad. It’s his amoral serial killer brother. Dexter now believes that his dark passenger runs the show after he took revenge on Brother Sam’s killer. Brother Sam’s death made one of us tear up. When he told Dexter that he could see Dexter’s darkness, but he could see his light too, we got choked up. We kind of feel like that’s what God says to people. Brother Sam was the real deal. He had wanted Dexter to deliver a message of forgiveness. Dexter tried, but when the killer wasn't contrite, Dexter decided to off him. It's Dexter, so we'd really have it no other way. Anyway, it’s going to really rev this season up to see Dexter go off the rails and fight his established rules. His snapping and drowning of the murderer in the same lake where the murderer was baptized was amazing. We’re glad Travis let the girl go, but we are even more glad that Travis and Gellar aren’t the only big bads in town, because they aren’t that scary. The Ice Truck Killer is better.
Episode grade: A-

The Good Wife - “Executive Order 13224”
Peter goes after Will for a past indiscretion that could really hurt his firm and cause him to lose his license. Client trust accounts are no joke. Alicia is almost prosecuted for protecting attorney/client privilege, but she gets a good lawyer of her own. This episode wasn’t the show’s best. We had a hard time getting into it, it felt fragmented, and we didn’t feel like the case got enough attention. However, we liked the guy who investigated Alicia. That was an interesting, fun little character. There wasn't enough Eli Gold either.
Episode grade: B-

How I Met Your Mother - “Disaster Averted”
The gang tells Kevin the fun story about how they survived the August hurricane together. Marshall delivered two slaps to Barney and got two more, in exchange for Barney being allowed to remove the ducky tie. He is about to meet Nora’s parents, after all. But the real news of the night is that Barney and Robin totally kissed! More than kissed! Made out. And it was gorgeous. It wasn’t a flashback either. We kind of feel bad for Kevin but not Nora. It’s half because she’s too pretty and half because she keeps trying to change Barney, and Robin likes Barney for who he is. We are huge Barney/Robin shippers, so we were squealing last night. The Marshall and Lily stuff was funny too. It’s been a while since that happened!
Episode grade: A-

Terra Nova - “Nightfall”
This was a B episode of a C+ show, meaning that it was better than usual, but it was still crappy compared to most of the things we watch. It started out slowly, even though there was a lot of action. Action isn’t necessarily interesting. There need to be high stakes and characters we care about. A meteor crashes and wipes out all the power and technology. Jim and Zoe get stuck underground and are out of the action. We get to hear Jim sing a song about spiders to Zoe. Maddy and Reynolds have their first date. Hunter gets operated on and tells Skye that he has feelings for her. Taylor forces Boylan to get the tech up and running. Mira and the Sixers heard dinosaurs into attacking Terra Nova and steal Mira’s box. Mira gives it to Taylor's son! The Taylor’s son stuff is the only reason to stick around, at this point
Episode grade: B

2 Broke Girls - “And Hoarder Culture”
Aww, Johnny. Say it ain’t so. He wronged our girl, Max, but he made up for it in the end. He needs to dump his hot, black, British girlfriend and get with Max, ASAP, but we understand and appreciate that he doesn’t want to be a jerk. Just because he likes Max doesn’t mean that he has to leave his current relationship. Meanwhile, Caroline gets paid to organize the apartment of a hoarder. Max is enthused by this. We like seeing Max that happy every once-in-a-while. The too-mean, depressing Max hasn’t been seen in weeks! We love it. We are also sighing with relief that the show has gotten better in the past couple of weeks. We predicted that it had potential, and we are glad that we weren’t wrong. And not just because we hate to be wrong.
Episode grade: B+

Monday, November 7, 2011

Once Upon a Time - "Kid, telling someone their soul mate is in a coma is probably not helpful."

"Snow Falls"

Why can’t Emma be Jennifer Morrison’s actual age? She’s 32, and she looks 35 (um no, she doesn't). She’s not working for us as a 28-year-old woman. This episode was written by Liz Tigelaar, the creator of Life Unexpected. We prefer writers from LOST do all the writing, because we are still a little miffed at Liz for the whole second season of Life Unexpected, which blew the big one and made us think the show deserved to be cancelled.

We get to see Prince Charming and Snow White meet in flashbacks, and it was during this meeting scene that we started wishing that the prince had a real name that wasn’t “Charming.” That’s seriously annoying. But later, we found out that the prince’s fantasyland name is “James.” So much better. So we will start calling him James immediately. James took the scenic route in his carriage with his fiancée. His fiancée was presented as the woman every girl hates and every guy complains about, but still dates anyway. She was blonde, critical, and a complainer. Her name in the real world is “Catherine,” but we didn’t catch her name in the fairytale world, so we are going to call her “Debbie Downer.” Snow White is clearly better than Debbie Downer, because Snow White wears pants.

Debbie Downer was whining when the carriage came across a fallen tree in a road. Obviously, this tree was to serve as a distraction while a robber grabbed some jewels from the carriage. That’s really what James gets for carrying a tiny man-purse full of jewelry. The robber turns out to be Snow White. Now, there are two movies coming out about Snow White later, and they both seem to have wildly different takes on the story. We’re pretty sure neither of them thought to have a Snow White who STEALS THINGS. But it’s alright, because she tries to only steal from the Evil Queen, and she does it to survive.

Later, James catches Snow White in a net trap and recognizes her as Snow White. He whips out a WANTED poster with a drawing of Snow. Underneath, it lists her crimes. Murder, treason, and treachery. Now, we are familiar with the crimes “murder” and “treason.” These are things people can actually be charged with in our world. But treachery? We like the sound of it. To what should it apply? How about whipping out your phone and texting while someone is talking to you? That sounds right. In the fairytale world, however, this seems to mean “ticking off the queen.” Snow tells James that none of it is true.

James asks Snow to just give him back a ring that was in the man purse. That was his mother ring that he intended to give to his future bride. It was an arranged marriage, but there are kingdoms to unite and all that. We wonder what, if any, relation James has to the Evil Queen, since they are both royalty. How many kingdoms are there in the fairytale world, and just how small are they, anyway? Snow reveals that she has fairy dust that can hurt the Evil Queen and she is saving it for that foe. Then Snow bashes James in the head and runs away, but some of the Evil Queen’s knights catch her and try to cut out her heart. James kills the knights and saves her.

Snow White is a little more cooperative after this, and she takes James to the creatures she stole the engagement ring from. They are trolls, and they are fabulously ugly. Like idiots, Snow and James have the WANTED poster with them, and the trolls decide to snatch Snow rather than trade the ring back. James fights them off and Snow runs, thinking James is behind her. He’s not, so she goes back and uses her fairy dust to save him. He is touched that she sacrificed it for him. They are very clearly crushing on each other and there is a nice little scene where she tries on the ring, but they part ways without even smooching. We like that the show wants to drag this out. If they fall in love too quickly, we jaded viewers won’t believe it.

As for the real action, David Anders is on this show, since he can’t be Sark on Alias anymore and John Gilbert from The Vampire Diaries is dead. As usual, Anders plays a sketchball. Only he’s a doctor this time. Dr. Sketchball (real name: Dr. Whale). Mary Margaret goes on a date with him, but he is eyeballing the half-dressed Ruby (Little Red Riding Hood, who we didn’t know was a super slut), who is waitressing at the restaurant. Mary calls for the check and runs into Emma on her way home. Emma is sleeping in her car, even though we thought Mary had offered her a place to stay last week. We guess not. She just had Emma over for a visit. At the end of THIS episode, Mary offered her guest room, and Emma accepted.

Henry has figured out that the coma patient, a John Doe, is Prince Charming. Henry gets Emma to convince Mary to read to the patient from the storybook. While Mary reads to him, John Doe grabs her hand. Mary goes to get Dr. Sketchball, and the good doctor tells her that there is no change. He suggests that she fell asleep or imagined it. When Mary leaves the room. Dr. Sketchball calls Mayor Regina and tells her what happened and that there was a slight change in the patient’s brain activity. Regina looks concerned and angry, as usual.

The next day, it is discovered that John Doe is gone. Emma and everyone watching suspects Regina at first, but it turns out that he just got up and walked out of the hospital and into the woods. Henry says that John Doe is clearly looking for Snow White. Regina has been John Doe’s emergency contact since she found him, unconscious, on the side of the road a few years ago. Mary, Emma, and Sheriff Graham go looking for John Doe, because he’s in no physical condition to be on his own. Henry follows them against the wishes of every adult in town. It's pretty clear, at this point, that Sheriff Graham is the Huntsman who let Snow White go in the fairytale world, out of pity. This mirrors his real-world self. He works for Regina, but he disobeys her when he thinks she's being too harsh.

Henry lets everyone know that John Doe will likely go to the Toll Bridge (because it’s so much like the Troll Bridge - there's even grafitti on it to make it look like it says "troll"), and Henry is correct. They find John Doe lying in the water, face down. Mary does CPR and her “kiss” wakes him. When John Doe returns to the hospital, Regina shows up with his wife, Catherine, who is the real world version of Debbie Downer. Gasp. Prince Charming has a wife? That’s….just wrong. In any case, it’s going to complicate things for Emma, Mary, and Henry. But wait. Snow White married him first in the fairytale world, and they didn’t get a fairytale divorce, so the first marriage stands, right?

We chuckled, because no matter where Ginnifer Goodwin goes on TV, she finds herself in a marriage with more than one woman. Clearly, blondie needs to die. Emma comforted us by suggesting to Regina that the whole thing was a “load of crap,” and that it was really convenient for Regina to waltz in with this blonde chick as soon as John Doe (David) wakes up with amnesia. There’s a possibility that Catherine might be lying about being his wife. Then Regina says, “Not having someone is the worst curse imaginable.” Well, that’s depressing.

Episode grade: B-

Sunday, November 6, 2011

The Rest of the Dramas! Sorry for all the lateness.

Ringer - “Oh Gawd, There’s Two of Them?”
Bridget has to tell Andrew and Henry that Siobhan had a twin. It turns out the Bridget’s new sponsor is working for Siobhan and he’s the one who killed Gemma. Gasp! Also, Malcolm escapes. After Juliet boozes, parties, and crashes a car in order to help her friend, Andrew cuts her off of her trust fun. Let’s all have a sarcastic slow clap for Andrew for doing the thing he should have done years ago. Good luck buying drugs when you don’t have access to $10 million. The fact that he didn’t do this in the first place means that Juliet should be taken away from him. Also, Juliet was scandalized and hurt that Andrew didn’t trust her motives. No sympathy. You do hard drugs in high school, you lose all expectation of trust. Overall, this show has really gone uphill.
Episode grade: B

American Horror Story - “Halloween 2”
Ok, Hayden was actually genuinely creepy. When she was rotting from the inside out, that was a nice touch. We are SO GLAD the dog wasn’t in the microwave. That would have been too far. Tate’s backstory is amazingly interesting and we look forward to the flashback and more details. Ben has been thrown out of the house by Vivien, but we hope that he has to come back soon. Out of everyone in that family, he is the one who most deserves to live in the haunted house, and it isn’t because he’s a cheater (although that doesn’t help). We feel bad for the way he has to deal with all that shame. He’s the worst because he has a pattern of covering things up. Everyone messes up in life. It’s how you deal with the aftermath, grit your teeth, and own up to things that decides whether you’re scum or not. No one likes a cover-up.
Episode grade: B

Revenge - “Charade”
Man, this was a good one. We had Nolan’s first takedown, and it was successful. The “Tyler is gay and in love with Daniel” theorists were correct. We liked the whole swapped identity thing, but man, Frank got way too close for comfort there. We, like many others, still aren’t buying the Declan/Charlotte romance, and we wish Declan had been cast by a different actor.
Episode grade: A-
The Secret Circle - “Beneath”
The Circle goes to Henry’s house to look for Jane, because Cassie hasn’t heard from her in days. The crew finds the house empty, but Cassie gets a text from Jane, saying that she is on her way home. The Circle decides to stay the night in Henry’s house. Diana experiences jealousy over Adam not being able to bear watching Cassie kiss Jake on a dare. Faye is jealous of Cassie and Jake’s budding romance. Jake rejects Cassie later, though. It seems that he is more into his witch-hunting team than her right now, but that might change. Henry reaches out to Faye from beyond the grave and Cassie finds his body. Meanwhile, Charles erases Jane’s memory and has Henry’s crystal. Most of these episodes have been heavy on the action and light on the character development. We got more quiet time with the characters during this episode, and we loved that. We also like when Diana starts to show her imperfect side, like when she made Cassie and Jake kiss. Most of all, we thought the music in this episode was really beautiful.
Episode grade: A

Fringe - “Novation”
We pretty much know how the Observers erased Peter now, if we hadn’t guessed already. The case of the week was boring, but the Peter/Olivia/Walter stuff was pretty good. Walter has rejected Peter as his son and a family member that he is allowed to keep. That’s sad, but we’re pretty sure he will come around, eventually, and help Peter figure things out. We’re glad to have Peter back.
Episode grade: B

Sons of Anarchy - “Kiss”
The way things are going, it looks like SAMCRO is going to have no choice but to kick Clay out of the club, which is something we are surprised hasn’t happened a long time ago. Clay gets one step closer to taking out Tara for good.
Episode grade: A-

Parenthood - “Forced Family Fun”
The main drama going on right now is the whole Seth thing. We hope he gets better, and he seems sincere, but this had better not affect Sarah’s new relationship, which is getting cuter all the time. Coffee girl needs to not sweat the small stuff and give Julia a break every once in a while. It’s like she gets paid for every awkward moment that she makes even more awkward.
Episode grade: B

Person of Interest - “Witness”
Reese has to protect a school teacher who saw a Russian mob shooting. Of course, Carter has to get all up in everyone’s business. The whole Carter thing had better turn out to be just as good as the rest of the show. It had just better pan out.
Episode grade: B-

Nikita - “Clawback”
Michael is mad at Nikita for not telling him about his son, even though she told him and pretty much did it right away. Ugh. We are kind of hating the whole Michael’s son thing. The son needs to die. We liked Alex’s plot this week, and we loved that Ryan came back.
Episode grade: B-

Prime Suspect - “Shame”
This episode featured a prostitute who killed, but we were less interested in her than the cop shenanigans that went on in this episode (like when two of them pretended that they were going to hit one of their informants). The team is getting along better, and we like that. The shooter from Grey’s Anatomy guest starred, and he was creepy in this, too.
Episode grade: B-

Grey’s Anatomy - “Heart-Shaped Box”
George’s mom returns and isn’t scandalized by Callie’s lesbianism. She just wants to see pictures of the baby. Aww. We enjoyed all the discussion and memories of George. We like when this show acknowledges its outlandishly crazy past. Jackson dumped Lexie because she doesn’t love him. She should, but she loves Mark instead. Finally, Henry is puking up blood, and that’s not good. We’re not saying we’d be devastated or anything, but it would be sad. Filler, but lighthearted, mature filler.
Episode grade: B-

Bones - “Memories in the Shallow Grave”
This was an average, “meh” episode, but it’s adorable to see Bones and Booth as a couple.
Episode grade: C+

A Gifted Man - “In Case of Memory Loss”
Michael comes across a former football player that he operated on a long time ago. The football player has since lost a lot of his memory and become homeless. Also, Michael has to treat a teenage girl who is having trouble coping with her best friend’s murder. Michael helps people. His wife haunts him. This was all par-for-the-course for this show.
Episode grade: B-