Grades

This week’s grades for the episodes we didn’t review:

A
Parks and Recreation
Off the Map

A-
Being Human

B+
V (for killing Tyler)
30 Rock
Big Love

B
Shameless
Fringe

B-
Community

C+

Perfect Couples

C
America’s Next Top Model

Mr. Sunshine

C-
Bones (Don’t taunt us like that, show)

Limitless movie thoughts

Limitless was different than we thought it would be. First of all, it was more fun. Second of all, it had more action and intensity than we expected. It’s also a lot more violent than we thought it would be. The premise is a lot like the premise of Mathilda, only with drugs. Pills open up a guy's brain so that he can use the full potential of his mind. The movie asks you to accept this outlandish premise, and it’s easy to do so. The movie raises more ethical, psychological, and social questions than it does scientific ones. The direction is good and so is the pacing. By the time the end rolled around, we were shocked that it was over so soon. It could have held at least another 20 minutes. It’s sure to entertain. We liked Bradley Cooper, the man just about every guy we know is jealous of, in the lead role. He managed to make us care about a character who was about as selfish as a normal human with new powers would be. Cooper’s character, Eddie, asked us at some point in the movie, “What would you do?” Good point. Most of us have thought about having superpowers. Ok, maybe that’s just us nerds.

Eddie used his new super brain to get ahead in life. He wanted to change the world, but it seemed like he wanted to make his mark for his own sake, and he always took the high profile route so that people would see him. He used his brain to make money, not to work out the world’s poverty problem or restructure struggling communities or cure cancer, etc. The pills gave him intellectual gifts but no wisdom. What could you do if you were limited? The movie’s answer is you could serve your ego even better than you do now, “improving yourself.” And it could also get you laid a lot. We have heard it said that there are two great tests in life: Success and suffering. Both bring out what you are really made of and what your priorities are. We think Eddie failed both tests in this movie, but the movie wants us to honestly ask ourselves if we would pass them when he did not. It also asks us if we would take the pills at all or remain as we are. We appreciate those questions. One character who handled the drug differently than Eddie did? Eddie’s on-again, off-again girlfriend, Lindy. She recognized that the drug changed who she was and would be dangerous after one try. Most of the characters are both relatable and believable.

What could have made this movie better? More humor. The funny moments were few. The narrator could have had a dark wit, like the Fight Club narrator, because he was a writer and could have been believably witty with words, rather than just telling us what was going on. If the script were cleverer, the movie would have worked on a smarter level. It was great to see Pushing Daisies’ Anna Friel uglied up. We can’t believe she would let them do that to her pretty face! Another TV face we saw was the guy who played Bart Bass on Gossip Girl. He had a small role, but still.

Spoiler warning- Don't look at the comments if you don't want to know the ending
Thoughts about this particular movie would not be complete without discussing the ending, but we want to keep things spoiler-free. Click on the comments, and the first comment by “Ern and Leeard” will be the rest of this review, in case you have no interest in seeing the movie or you have seen it and want to discuss the ending.

Movie Grade: B

American Idol Top 12

We’ve seen enough of the top 12 to do a contestant commentary. We think the judges picked the three least interesting/talented people to save with the Wild Card (out of the six they chose to save). But we are over that. Kind of. Thank God Ashthon is gone. She couldn’t sing on key, and her voice was rarely pleasant.

Casey Abrams - The favorite to win. Just one complaint: He doesn’t “sing”. He growls and rasps and shrieks. Can the man sing a song well in a clear voice? Can he hold out a single note without grinding on his throat? He only seems to select songs that call for growling as well. Is he trying to hide that he can’t actually sing under that growl? It seems like he is forcing a rock voice out of that funny head. The great thing about Casey is he has a good ear, plays lots of weird instruments, and just has so much personality. And it’s a good personality too. He seems to be completely in control of his image and what he is doing. He has a perfect confidence and makes us think that the show is riding along on his coattails, while the other contestants look lucky to be there and nervous to get booted out. If he doesn’t win, he has a great career ahead of him voicing bluesy Disney villains in cartoon songs. If this guy wins, is he at all marketable? He’s kind of an uggo and he’s weird. As much as we approve of that, we wonder how much success he will find. We will see. Hopefully he shocks us all and sings a song like a normal human, in clear tones, at least once, just to show us what it sounds like. Also, "Smells Like Teen Spirit" was not good. Right now, the bloggers are split on this guy. One of us thinks he doesn’t belong on a straight singing competition. The other blogger loves him and maintains that this ISN'T a "straight singing competition". Also, she believes that he isn’t an uggo at all, and his growling is singing. And it’s awesome. In fact, it cued a wee spat between us. Maybe that’s the power of Casey: he’s polarizing, so he’s interesting. Contestant grade: A+

Lauren Alaina - A frontrunner. She’s a little too country for one of us, but you can’t deny that her voice is beautiful and she is perfectly at ease when singing, and her audition blew one of us away. Lauren still has some goodwill earned from that performance. She’s got a natural ear the other (pitchy) contestants can only dream of, and she is young, pretty, and sweet. It's about time a girl won American Idol again. One of us is starting to think America hates women and female voices. Contestant grade: A

Pia Toscano - Pia is the dark horse. One of us would even have put her at the top of this list, but lost the spat. Pia can sing on key. She can hit the high notes. She looks and smiles like a Stepford wife when she is sitting and smiling on the stage, but when she sings, she’s the diva that Ashthon wasn’t. We love how she bends her knees on the big notes. As far as just singing goes, she’s got it in the bag. She just needs to get interesting as a person now. Drop the prom queen look and open up, Pia. Contestant grade: A-

James Durbin - Ok, freaky moment. We are older than James Durbin. Ewwwww, we’re old! We loved when Steven Tyler told him that he had sandwiches that were older than James Durbin. We felt the same way. James has the rock voice that Casey lacks. The judges said it last week: He can really sing under his rock stylings. All the great rock singers actually had beautiful voices (see: Dio) that they harshed up a bit to make more rocking. He can sing anything, he’s got an unreal range, he’s on key, and he’s got tone. He may be the best rock voice to grace the Idol stage, except for Kelly Clarkson (and maybe Daughtry), that is. One of us thinks that if he can perform some tricks, pick interesting songs, and get some personality, he can beat Casey at Casey’s own game. The other blogger thinks they are two very different singers and performers, and therefore NOT competing in the same game. Cue the return of the spat! Contestant grade: B+

Paul McDonald - What’s with all these pitchy contestants? That’s the buzzword of this (and every) season: Pitchy. He’s good-looking and we like his style though. It sounds like he is molesting us via song with that slithery tone. In a good way. Contestant grade: B

Scotty McCreery - Here’s what we were thinking before last night: We need Scotty to break out of country, just for one night, just to hear what he sounds like. What about something from our last great bass pop star, Elvis. And then, ALL OUR DREAMS! He mentioned Elvis and how he idolized him. And then he went and sang a country song. Hopefully he will sing Elvis when he has a theme that allows it. This week, he stretched himself by singing a song with a little more range and holding out a note. That’s nice, but we need more of that. As of now, we are convinced we’ve seen all that Scotty has to offer, unless he can write a great country tune to go with that country butter tone. Still, what he has offered is pretty good. Contestant grade: B-

Jacob Lusk - Ern really likes this guy, because he has a great voice. Leeard is not so sure. He was VERY pitchy in "I Believe I Can Fly", and seems to lack control over his powerful instrument in that he can’t stay on the melody a lot. When he’s good, he brings the house down. When he’s bad, it makes you wonder how he got to the top 12 in the first place. Advice? Take it easy on the runs and hold out more notes. The voice is good enough to carry a song without that many runs, and it’s in the runs and key changes that he struggles to stay on key. Contestant grade: C+

Karen Rodriguez - Beautiful voice, likeable girl. But it’s about time she stopped milking the whole Spanish thing. The “Hero” half in Spanish was still boring, even in two languages. And her Selena stunt came off as pandering to a judge. This week, she was more tolerable. We agree with J-Lo that she is one of the strongest girls, but we’d like to see her take a risk, stand out more, and stop trying to make J-Lo love her. Make us love you, Karen. Contestant grade: C

Thia Megia - Leeard has an all-abiding dislike for this contestant that sprouted during her audition. Thia’s phrasing has always grated on Leeard’s nerves. Ern likes her. Her voice tone is beautiful. Yeah, sometimes she goes flat, doesn’t know a song she should know, and has a blank, young stare on her face, but she has a beautiful voice and a decent range. Ern is a fan. This week’s song choice was definitely boring and lame. That’s an easy song to sing. She needs to take some risks and sing some showstoppers, as well as fast-paced songs. Someone needs to take this young talent and mold her. But is there time for her to grow on the Idol stage? Still, don’t count her out. She’s young and cute enough to have the grandma bracket cornered. And grandmas vote like the wind for this show. Contestant grade: C-

Haley Reinhart - The judges think she should move around more. How out-of-sync is the show that they then put her up in four-inch heels to perform? And how annoying is it that the judges think she needs to pick a style and show less variety, when they always complain that other contestants don’t show ANY variety? We like her voice, but her performances and song choices need work. Contestant grade: D+

Stefano Langone - The judges think he can take this competition. We think it will be hard for him, because one of us thinks he looks like a fish. It’s America that’s voting, and America is shallow. We weren’t as impressed as the judges were with his singing this week. The performance was good, but we don’t know if we like his voice yet. He sounds a little lost and doesn’t know who he is as an artist yet. It would be hard for him to win. He’s not one that we remember when we turn off the TV, even if the judges dubbed him “the best performance of the night” this week. Contestant grade: D

Naima Adedapo - This is our pick to go home this week. The judges were concerned that the public might not “get” Paul McDonald. We think it’s more of a worry that people won’t get Naima. Her “Umbrella” last week was lackluster, but only because of the song choice and dancing. We thought this week’s song was pitchy, and she needs a little more beauty to her clear, loud tone. But she can really move around the stage. And she’s beautiful. Sadly, she can’t sing on key. One of us really likes her, but has accepted that she’s probably going to get voted off soon. Contestant grade: D-

The F would have been Ashthon, but she's gone. Lots of people wonder if they are good enough to make it just based on singing. Not songwriting, being sexy, performing, dancing, packaging yourself, or anything else. Just singing. This is how you know you are that great at singing: Go out to a karaoke bar or wherever they have that. Pick your best song. By the time you are halfway through it, the entire bar should be completely silent, looking at you, and not laughing in any way. When you stop singing, they should all applaud, but before that, it needs to be quiet enough that you could hear a pin drop were the music and you to stop. If that happens, you’re great. We think the contestants we gave As and Bs to could silence a karaoke bar.

Glee - Original Song review

This episode had a lot packed into it, including seven songs. We were not impressed with most of them. The winners, for us, were the two original songs ("Loser Like Me" and "Get it Right"), and Kurt’s version of "Blackbird". “Candles” by Kurt and Blaine was awful to our ears. It sounded dull and like some middle-schooler from YouTube did a cover. That would have been a beautiful cover for Rachel or Quinn, but as good as Blaine is, it didn’t fit his voice. Or Kurt’s. We didn’t like the harmonies either. Anyone who has heard the original song would agree with us. Who isn’t sick of Maroon 5’s “Misery” yet? The last thing we needed was ANOTHER version of that song to drive us crazy. Plus, it sounds a lot like a couple other Maroon 5 songs. How long are they going to dish out that song? “Hell to the No” was a great song. They should have used that as a third song. It was a great anthem for Mercedes too. “Big Ass Heart”? Not as good (though one of us liked it a lot), but it’s nice to see Puck still wooing his girl. It’s the cutest thing he’s ever done.

The good news from this episode? Kurt and Blaine are finally an item and they kissed. One of us was so excited, she texted the other "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG". Blaine’s words to Kurt were as bold and honest as Blaine is. We love them together, but the angle they filmed the kiss made it look awkward. It mostly made us notice just how large Kurt’s head is…. Maybe it was the angle, but Blaine’s head looked tiny in comparison. We want a better Klaine kiss, show. Can those two get themselves out of Dalton and to McKinley, stat?

We can’t believe the big Regionals death was A BIRD. Whoever leaked that spoiler is so cheap, getting us all riled up for nothing. But it DID have a big effect on Regionals, as promised. It made the Warblers lame by killing The Blaine Show that gave us the iTunes chart-topping “Teenage Dream.” Way to wreck a good thing in the name of plot progression and fairness, Glee. We are so, so glad to see bitchy Santana back. Her “Trouty Mouth” song was the highlight of the episode for one of us. It was hilarious, and we loved Sam’s reaction. We hope he tosses her to the curb. We don’t want him to get hurt by another girl so soon, so he should be the one to ditch her.

Quinn’s mean speech to Rachel should have made Rachel happy, in a way. Quinn basically said that Rachel was going to leave to go onto bigger things, but Quinn was going to stay and have Finn’s babies. Those are gonna be some dumb, pretty babies. But it made Rachel cry and write a decent song. The melody of that song never really soared for us, but we liked the words and Rachel’s big note in the bridge. Aural Intensity’s Jesus song was hilarious and it was very Sue to have Sue leak to the other two schools that the judges would be looking for “sexy,” when they were more conservative than that. We weren’t digging Kathy Griffin’s Tea Party judge. Tea Party stuff isn’t funny; it’s just annoying, even when it’s being mocked. We thought Glee might be able to make it sharp, but the show failed. It just wasn’t funny. This episode was light on the one-liners. New Directions absolutely deserved to win, and it did. For the performances, not the outfits.

Episode Grade: B

The next episode of Glee will air April 12th.

Pretty Little Liars - Monsters In the End

This show knocked our socks off this week. There is nothing like a good, juicy, Agatha Christie-esque murder mystery. Pair it with high school, good characters, and teen drama, and it makes some great TV, as this last episode proved.

It finally happened. It looks like Ezra Fitz is busted for diddling little Aria in his apartment. The girls’ cop friend was assigned the task of following the girls, and he followed Aria. He saw her come out of Ezra Fitz’s apartment, and then he knocked on teacher’s door himself. We know we shouldn’t be too glad yet, because the cop could always try to blackmail Ezra, or Teach will find some other way to weasel out of his predicament. But for now, we are just glad to see a lame little “Ezra and Aria love segment of the week” end the way it should. Woot woot! Emily is so over dealing with Paige and her in-the-closet drama (understandably). Emily met another girl, one who is out and gorgeous. Paige acted rudely to this girl. Love triangle? We kind of hope so.

Spencer has the biggest pair of brass balls on this show. We loved how she defied her family and kissed Toby in front of the whole town. When she turned around to do it, we were like, “YES. This is the Spencer we know and love.” Toby’s face is still creepersville, but we are feeling them as a couple. Spencer got a scare when she was trapped in a funhouse with some scary clowns and a threat from A painted on the wall. We liked that part, but it failed to create tension or concern in our minds over Spencer’s life. We found out that Melissa and Ian both lied about being at the Hilton Head together. Ian threatened Spencer by comparing her situation to being stuck in quicksand. Apparently, he is the quicksand. He REALLY needs to work on his threats. Hanna was still dealing with the aftermath of Caleb’s betrayal, while he was just trying to find a way to get a love note to her. He left on the bus for Arizona, and Hanna did not stop him. Mona destroyed the love note to “protect” her friend. He had better come back rather than disappear like Hanna's old love interest, Lucas. Caleb left the girls with a clue: Jenna wanted him to find an old key that Alison gave one of the girls.

Emily remembered that Alison had given her a snow globe as a present. Alison had told her to be careful with it, that it was more valuable than Emily thought. Emily fished around in the globe’s pedestal and found a key to a storage garage. Aria, Hanna, and Emily went to the garage and found a USB drive. On the drive was a video of all the girls, including Alison, hanging out. This proved that whoever was stalking Alison and making videos was stalking her well before her disappearance. Obviously, Alison got a hold of some of the videos. The girls wondered if that’s why she had been killed.

This episode was funny, romantic, moved things along, and most of all, EZRA GOT CAUGHT BY A COP. The season finale is next week. We can’t wait, but at the same time, we are going to miss this show so much.

Episode grade: A+

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter- review

A theme park review, you ask? Yes, this is a first. Over spring break, one of us FINALLY got to go to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando, Florida, located in the larger park, Universal Studios. Thanks, Dad.

-What was great: Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey. This ride is a simulation of a flying tour through Hogwarts and many of its dangers. The surprise was that it was actually scary. It was the best simulation ride we have ever been on, bar none. We wish the castle had included a great hall and a few more rooms. Would it have been too much trouble to include more talking pictures and the headmaster’s office? The Hogsmeade village replica is picturesque and lovely. It’s a little odd to see the snow on the rooftops and be so immersed in the recreation, yet be baking in the hot Florida sun though. The castle is also pretty. There are lines to get in the stores, but they are half the fun. Take a big wad of cash and wait for 15 minutes. The lines look long, but they are fast.

The shops have some good stuff to buy (even though we went into three before I saw some copies of the actually Harry Potter BOOKS). The Owl Post is worth a look, especially if you like stationary. Go ahead and eat in The Three Broomsticks. It sells regular food, as well as famous Harry Potter beverages and ice cream. The park also includes The Hogs Head. Our favorite store was Dervish and Banges. It sold clothing, wallets, wands, and other paraphernalia. One of us is a proud owner of a $99 Gryffindor robe and the Elder Wand. Don’t judge. In Ollivanders, you can have a wand choose you, just like in the books and movies. Also, we would like to give a shout out to whatever efficiency expert trained the employees at this park and designed the protocols. The lines moved quickly, because every seat was filled. The employees were friendly, the park was clean, and it was run about as smoothly as any park we have ever seen.

What was good: The Dragon Challenge rollercoaster. It was just a regular rollercoaster. It could have been longer, in our opinions. But it was good. The other rollercoaster, Flight of the Hippogriff, is designed more for children, but we would still go on it, if you have time. There is a Hogwarts Express replica just inside the gates, but that is mostly there for photo ops.

What was disappointing: The joke shop, Zonko's. There wasn’t much there. Hardly any funny items, and it was really small. It didn’t deserve to wear the name. Honeydukes was mostly good for chocolate frogs and not much else, unless you are crazy for candy. It WAS a little too crowded, and it's also a little small. We hope Universal seriously considers expanding the Harry Potter portion of the park, if only to accomodate the milling crowds. There's a lot of opportunity here. The castle could be expanded as well. Move the extra rooms underground if you have to. The park portion definitely left us wanting more. More rides, more stores, more more more. Don't go expecting it to be a whole theme park, or even half of one. It's a section. But it's still awesome.

Tips: Don't do what we did. Skip work and go during a regular weekday, not during spring break or the holidays. We still got to do everything we wanted to do, but pushing aside the other cretins was a hassle. Unless you want to wait in line forever, choose the “single rider” option on the Forbidden Journey ride. Split up your party and jump on. It’s fun alone. You can’t really see your friends during the ride anyway. The frozen butterbeer is better than the regular version, in our opinions. Go with hardcore Harry Potter fans so that you can geek out together without shame, and also so that no one rushes you out of the Harry Potter part too soon so that they can go ride The Hulk or something.

Bottom line: This blogger would go back. And probably will. It's heaven for an HP fan.