Shows That Are In Trouble

We are dancing on the clouds about Fringe, Community, Parks and Rec, and Southland getting renewed. (Wow, that sounded less gay in our heads, but still. It’s accurate.)

Here are the shows that we want to see stick around that still haven’t been renewed…and the shows we hate and want to see go away. Their slots can go to good, new shows. Possibly. As for the ones we don’t mention: we either don’t care or we don't think the show is in enough danger to be on this list.

Our struggling favorites:

Chuck - Leeard is a beyond-faithful fan of Chuck, and Ern watches it when it’s on and she has nothing better to do. Still, both of us would like to see this cult fave survive yet again.

Outsourced - It’s offensive. Blah blah blah. What matters is that it’s really funny.

Off the Map - How are the Grey’s and Private Practice fans not watching this? Yeah, the pilot was awful and some episodes are cheesy. But the last episode was devoid of cheese and it’s getting better. It deserves a season two.

Lie to Me - The concept alone is worth keeping this show for. It’s been much better since they got rid of the stifling FBI stuff. Also, if they just aggressively serialized a few more elements of the show (like Bones does with its characters), it could start getting intense and making people care about the characters.

Two and a Half Men - We know, we know. You’re thinking, “What blog is this?!! It’s been taken over by imposters!” But we think it would be extremely entertaining to watch the show replace Charlie Sheen and even more entertaining to watch Charlie Sheen react to getting replaced. It will be a train-wreck ending to a horrible show. After we happily watch its demise with a glass of wine and an evil laugh, the networks can totally cancel it.

Perfect Couples - It's a way funnier version of Better with You. It could grow into something hilarious.

Shows we want gone:

The Event - We hate this show for promising to bring us a LOST-meets-24 dynamic and giving us a show we couldn’t give two craps about.

Better with You - Unfunny, sexist dribble. No one cares. Leeard is actually still watching this show, but doesn't care if it's cancelled or not. That's not a good sign.

Detroit 1-8-7 - If this goes away, then maybe its fans will console themselves with Southland, which is so much better than this cop show.

V - Die V, die! This show got a miracle second season and then proceeded to squander it by being silly, boring, and the opposite of addictive. It gives serialized drama, which we usually love, a bad name.

Sucker Punch - It's not as bad as you think

Through the first half of Sucker Punch, one thought kept running through our heads like crazy: How on earth can we get our eye makeup to look like that? But in the second half, we started thinking about the story, which took way too long to show up. By then, we were grateful that there was a story at all.

Other critics have noticed the lack of substance. We usually agree with them. We almost didn’t even see this movie, because it has a 20% approval rating on RottenTomatoes, the critical review aggregate site. For those who aren’t familiar with the site (and you should be), a score like this usually translates into a grade of D- for us.

But we think the critics are being wayyyy too hard on Sucker Punch.

First of all, the action and visuals are amazing. The fight scenes and some situations are genuinely intense, even though they are gore-free. The movie gets you to care about the girls, thin characters that they are. The movie tries to explore decent themes. And it IS a true lesson that you can use your mind and attitude to overcome difficult surroundings. Lots of people are going to call the messages pretentious and shallow, but we aren’t that cynical. The message was fine. But, more importantly, the movie was a visual and technical feast.

Is anyone surprised the movie is light on good acting, dialogue, story, and characters? It’s not like we were expected Shakespeare from this. Does no one remember stupid, but bad-ass 300? We have seen far worse action films from big studios. It's no where near as bad as the second Transformers.

Major gripes: The main one is the sexism. The movie makers, in interviews, have talked about how the girls use their sexuality as weapons. They say it isn’t demeaning, because the girls use the “sexy baby girl” image to their advantage to gain power and freedom. We’re sorry, but that just sounds like an excuse to put the girls in skimpy, childish outfits during most of the movie.

The main girl is known only as “Babydoll.” A huge part of the alternate reality she dreams up is the setting of a brothel where girls dance for slimeballs. LIKE ANY GIRL WOULD MAKE THAT A PART OF HER SELF-EMPOWERMENT FANTASY.

Guys don’t make out much better in the movie. With the exception of one old guy, the men in the movie are liars, leeches, creeps, rapists, and pigs. It’s not fun to watch girls threatened sexually for two hours.

Also, call us grandmas, but this movie is freakin’ loud, especially in the first half. Bring earplugs, just in case it starts to feel oppressive. Also, SACRILEGE covering “Where is My Mind” by The Pixies. Psh. Also, the lines at the end of the movie overdid it with the cheese and preachy-ness for us. They beat that horse dead.

Bottom Line: If you are interested, go ahead and see it, and see it on the big screen. Just go in thinking it’s going to be shallow, stupid eye candy, because that's what it is. Only go if you love action with all your heart and soul, and go if you mildly enjoy the plotlines of videogames. We'll admit that we fit in that category.

Movie grade: B+

Fringe is Renewed

Next year, we will be watching Fringe season four! Great success.

America's Next Top Model - Alexandria

There’s girl drama on America’s Next Top Model again. Here’s the situation: Alexandria, who sort of reminds us of Diane Krueger, is unpopular.

She has a bad attitude, she thinks she knows everything, she wants to play the big sister, and she wants to run the show all the time. Controlling, insecure, abrasive, emotionally unstable, and “in need of therapy,” according to the other girls. This is all from the episodes, because we don’t personally know her (obviously), and footage can be edited a certain way.

We’re team Alexandria. And we think you should be too. (Not for America's Next Top Model, just in this fight. We are rooting for Brittani or Monique to win the competition.)

Alexandria is a difficult person to get along with. We’ve all met this person, whether at work, home, or school. One of us spends a lot of time with a veritable Alexandria clone. And you know what? It’s HARD not to badmouth her with others. It’s hard to be nice to her. It’s hard to reach out. This episode made one of us vow to never speak another word against this person.

We know part of why Alexandria is a pain, because Alexandria mentioned it in her confessional. After being called controlling by the girls and the judges, she revealed that she came from an abusive home and was taken out. She felt that she had to take care of her brothers and sisters. She was left to run the show.

That’s how it is. The people who rub you the wrong way have genes, brain abnormalities, chemical differences, dirty little secrets, trauma, a way of looking at themselves that is incorrect, lack of wisdom, lack of a teacher, or lack of support. It’s not an excuse, but it IS a reason. The bottom line is: It could have been you. Easily.

The other girls should be ashamed of themselves for ganging up on this young woman, reading her journal, feeling superior to her, and badmouthing her on national television. The criticism cut her to the core, but Alexandria refrained from dissing the other girls to her boyfriend over the phone.

We hope she finds help, healing, and support elsewhere, because it looks like the other girls are going to band together to tear her down, rather than be classy and take the high road. They are adding fuel to the fire. Tyra loves to preach and bullying is currently a hot topic. We'd like to see her call the other girls out for preying on another's weaknesses. Also, these people need to stop handwriting journals on this show. Of course the girls are going to read it! Have it on your computer with a password, duh.

Lights Out Canceled

We purposefully didn't watch Lights Out, because we knew we would fall in love with it and then it would get canceled. And that's what happened.

Better Lock Them Doors and Turn the Lights Down Low

We posted earlier on who we WANT to win, but who has the best chances? From least likely, to most likely, here’s the PREDICTION post.

Haley Reinhart - It’s a shame that she’s last in our prediction running, because she’s absolutely not the worst singer. She’s one of the contestants who is not pitchy, and, unlike Casey, she mixes her growls with actual notes. She also still manages to be sexy with a face that’s not traditionally beautiful. This week, we heard her reach for some high notes and hit them, albeit quietly. But she was in the bottom three last time, so it would be safe to bet she won’t win.

Naima Adedapo - Another tragedy, because she’s super original. We weren’t loving her last week, but this week she proved that she could sing on key, as long as she’s not jumping at the same time. She’s gone way up in our eyes, but it would take a lot for her to have a shot to win.

Jacob Lusk - This guy has a great voice, and this week he showed that he could control it better. But with such strong contestants this year, we don’t think he has the charisma to stand against him for long. He either bombs or kills it each week. We think America is going to remember that there were too many bombs.

Paul McDonald - Paul is low-key. He’s good-looking, but that won’t be enough to pull the votes in. He will last a while, but then he will go. He’s just not going to win. There’s not enough buzz around him. Unless you count him being the current pick for the Web site “Vote for the Worst.” http://www.votefortheworst.com/

Stefano Langone - Did anyone else catch that nasal quality to his vocals this week? It really stood out more than ever. Unless he pulls a great sob story out of his ass, there’s no chance. The judges are really pumping him, but we don’t think America is buying it.

Casey Abrams - We know, you’re shocked that our favorite and the frontrunner since the beginning is so low on this list. But novelty wears off. We can’t see him beating a more serious and better-looking singer in the long run. We hope he does though!

Pia Toscano - On many couches, there sits a person who is reading the newspaper while they are half-watching. They don’t need to look at the TV, because they are thinking, “This is a singing competition. It’s about how they sound. Not personality, not looks, not style. The singing.” (Other blogger's note: No. There are none of those people.) And when you close your eyes and listen to these people, based on straight singing, it’s hard to beat the flawless balladry of Pia. Those people on those couches will keep her in the game for longer than most will predict.

James Durbin - He has the impressive voice, the personality, the human interest angle (Asperger’s), the charisma, and the energy to put him toward the top. This week, the first half of his song was bad, but he pulled it together for an impressive finish.

Thia Megia - Your grandma is voting for this girl. She’s young, she’s cute, and she’s got that clear tone that old people love. Old people are the ones who would vote. They get caught into this sort of thing. Don’t believe us? How many email forwards do you get from your grandparents? They forward when told to forward and call when told to call, and they have the time to do it. Grandmas love Thia. Fact.

Lauren Alaina - She’s got the voice, the personality, and the versatility. She just gained underdog status this week when she talked about how people have been putting her down on the internet. Not us, Lauren. We think your comfort on the Idol stage is impressive and speaks to a maturity and power that will take you to (hopefully) at least number two.

And the winner will be….

Scotty McCreery - Two words: Country male. A guy has won this competition for the past couple of years. Country is popular and American Idol hasn’t really produced a viable country male yet. Scotty has a decent enough voice, plus he’s got the young, cute thing going on. We’re going to groan and beat the ground, because there are better people in this competition. But we think it’s his competition to lose, at this point.

Grey's returns tonight

Just so you don't miss it. We know someone was asking when it returns.

City of Bones- book thoughts

It’s been a while since we’ve talked about a book, because we’ve been a little busy to read. And trust us to read a book geared toward teens rather than a “real book.” But we decided to dip into the young adult fare again, because the last time we did it, it was satisfying (The Hunger Games).

The book this week was “City of Bones” by Cassandra Clare. It’s urban fantasy. We don’t want to give much away about the premise, because it’s always more fun that way. Apparently, it’s popular and has been out a long time.

Strengths: Sometimes it can be tedious to read fight scenes. Action is fun to watch but not as fun to read. This book didn’t have that problem. The fighting flowed well and was intense. We also liked all of the twists, even if one was pretty icky. Actually, the icky twist was our favorite. The story was good.

Weaknesses: Overuse of the word “nauseous.” It was sometimes used incorrectly too. We also HATE when heroines don’t know they are pretty and when they don’t know if guys like them, even though it’s obvious. It’s very “Twilight,” and it’s also unrealistic. People know when they are attractive and when boys follow them around like lost puppies, unless they aren’t playing with a full deck of cards, socially.

We are also unsure about the characters. We saw a substantial effort to make them three-dimensional (four-dimensional, in some cases. Heh), but we aren’t sure how well that paid off. There is potential for the characters to become original and cool in subsequent books. You don’t HATE them. But we’ve seen these characters before in other books. Damaged, cool, bad boy. Regular, annoyingly humble girl. Loveable nerd. Isabelle might be the most original character, but she’s unlikeable by most.

Bottom line: It was good enough that we bought the second book in the series. It’s not obsession-worthy yet though. Reviews are spoiler-free, but comments sections are not, so feel free to discuss twists or whatever, if you’ve read this one.

Book grade: B Also, of course they are making this one a movie. Since youngsters have so much disposable income, execs see The Next Twilight/The Next Big Franchise in every decent young adult novel. We actually think this is movie material. The characters are movie-flat, and the plot is twisty and action-y enough to work.

Southland Renewed

It's official. TNT renewed Southland for a fourth season! Yay.

How I Met Your Mother - Legendaddy review

We met Barney’s dad! And he was sweet! Even though he was played by the usually creepy John Lithgow! (That’s not a diss. We love him, creepy or not.) Barney was concerned that his dad wasn’t the “Legendaddy” of his dreams, because he was a regular guy and not a ladies’ man or roadie.

But then Barney broke down after seeing his dad at dinner with his “real” son, and he said, “If you were going to just be a regular suburban dad, why couldn’t you have been mine?” He and his dad left it on a hopeful, positive note. Barney stole his dad’s basketball hoop from his house, and his dad helped him. Barney gave it to Ted to put in his new house that he intended to raise a family in.

We liked the subplot too. The gang was discussing “gaps.” They were pointing out the things that their friends should have learned in childhood, but missed. Ted pronounced “chameleon” phonetically. The same thing happened with Ern and the world “cerulean.” And “lien,” as she found out one day in law school (oops). One of us doesn't think Ted's "gap" is in character. This is the guy who got annoyed when people mispronounced "encyclopedia", there's no way he doesn't know how to pronounce "chameleon".

Marshall was upset that the gang didn’t point out his gap, because they were still tiptoeing around him after his father’s death. This led to the laugh-out-loud moment of the night for us. Marshall started doing crazy things to get the gang to rag on him. He brought a possum to Lily and said, “This is a possum. I found it in the trash. He lives with us now.” Cue us laughing.

Bring on more Barney’s dad! And possums.

Episode grade: A-

Pretty Little Liars - For Whom the Bell Tolls recap/review

The season finale of Pretty Little Liars was heavy on the action. It does not get an A, because Mr. Fitz did not get caught, In fact, everything worked out swimmingly for him. He got a job teaching at Hollis, and his ex-fiancé, Jackie, is also teaching there. Sure, Aria is mad at him because he didn’t tell her about that Jackie’s presence at Hollis, but Aria is so pathetic, it won’t be long before she crawls right back to him. Apparently, the deceit was tantamount to lying. Stupid Aria. We can’t believe she thought Ezra was honest before. He was deceiving everyone by dating her. We guess he’s never getting called to the carpet for that, so we’re just going to have to let it go.

Anyway, onto things that don’t annoy us. The girls asked Jenna for the truth. Jenna said that she promised Alison that she wouldn’t tell anyone how she became blind as long as Alison kept the video (of Jenna forcing Toby to root her) under wraps. Alison got this tape from Ian at Hilton Head. Jenna threatened to tell the parents that Toby raped her if he didn’t sleep with her, and this threat was caught on tape by creeping Ian. We loved Spencer’s angry face directed right at Jenna for turning Toby into a freak. Spencer bought a pre-paid, untraceable, anonymous phone to text Ian “I have Ali's video.” She offered him money in exchange for the flash drive so it would throw his suspicions off the girls, because they would only be after the truth, right? Then the girls invited Garrett, their cop friend, to go to the drop spot with them and arrest Ian. But Ian sent a delivery boy to make the drop for him. Also, it was revealed that Garrett is not on the girls’ side. He is romantically involved with Jenna and seems to know about the tapes. He’s also a bad cop for not arresting Ezra Fitz. UGHHHHH.

Lucas is back from the beyond! And his hair has grown, so he’s less dorky-looking. He figured out, via eavesdropping, that Mona destroyed Caleb’s love letter to Hanna. So, even though (because?) he loves Hanna, he drove to retrieve Caleb for her. We will see how that turns out. Emily’s mom is potentially moving them to Texas to be closer to her father for one year. This means it is possible that the show could skip forward a year or Emily won’t be there in the premiere in June. We don’t think either option is wise and we hope the mom’s plan falls through. Spencer napped and read with Toby (adorably) before she took off for the adventure.

Spencer had to go pick her sister up at a church because Ian didn’t show, and she got in a car accident. Melissa’s demon baby might not live. Spencer went back to the church to get Melissa’s phone, and things got all Hitchcock, real fast. Ian was there and they battled. He tried to throw Spencer down the bell tower to stage a suicide, but some guy (A?) in a hoodie showed up and pushed Ian down there instead. Ian’s body hung in ropes near the ground, and one was around his neck. When the cops arrived, the body was gone.

Let’s hope the show stays good in its second season. It gave us enough closure to be a good season finale, but not enough so that there’s nothing to tune in for this summer.

Episode grade: B+

Pretty Little Liars returns on June 14th and starts airing on a new night, Tuesdays. We can't wait.

Movie Review - Justin Bieber: Never Say Never

You know what? Fine. One of us likes Justin Bieber. She’s a 23 year old graduate student and finds him adorable, his songs catchy, and his personality infectious. She’s also been excited about Never Say Never since she first saw a preview 4 months ago, and was finally able to see it last night. Verdict? It. Was. Worth it.

While the movie doesn’t really have a plot (it chronicles the days leading up to his performance at Madison Square Garden and includes home videos and insights from his support staff), it goes pretty in-depth into his life. The home videos are especially great – one of us is pretty sure the only home video her mother has was taken at birth, so to see that many was a little surprising to her. The home videos added so much though. If you can watch a 5 year old Justin Bieber play the drums (well) and not like him, or at least appreciate his talent? You might be crazy. Another aspect of the movie that made it more enjoyable was the story of how Justin Bieber became, well, Justin Bieber. It’s a relatively well-known story now, but hearing again how he walked up to Usher outside of Jermaine Dupri’s studio and said “I’m one of your biggest fans. Can I sing you one of your songs?” makes us like and respect him even more, as does his perseverance after Usher basically pushed him away.

Obviously, the movie also focuses on his performances. It features a bunch of his songs and will definitely make you realize whether or not you like his music. His concert at MSG also featured Boyz II Men, Usher, Sean Kingston, Jaden Smith, Ludacris, and Miley Cyrus, which seriously makes one of us wish she could’ve been there. If all else fails, they have tons of footage of screaming, crying, freaking out girls that should make you feel better about yourself.

Look, the bottom line is this: if you already dislike Justin Bieber, you’re not going to see this movie. You probably didn’t read this review. We don’t mean those people who claim to hate JBiebs with little experience or knowledge to support their opinion (though we’ll get to those people later). We’re talking about the people who have given him and his music a shot and found them not to their liking. While we don’t understand that, to each his or her own. This movie probably isn’t for you, and that’s okay. Now, to those people who pretend to dislike Justin: see this movie. If you don’t want to pay money to see it, that’s fine – wait until it’s on Disney or MTV in a few months. You get an insight into his personality that’s great, and it may even change your mind about him.

Movie Grade: A

Other blogger note: BAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ^Why am I not surprised? That said, it's hard to not admire "The Biebs" for being a good kid, having talent, and being a hard worker, even though it's creepy to hear a fetus sing love songs to women. But I just want you to know, if I had been in town, I would have seen it with you.

Original blogger note: He's 17! That's not a fetus!

Other blogger note: He sounds like a fetus.

Original blogger note: No he doesn't.

Big Love Finale

Spoilers follow.

How could they end Big Love like that? Seriously? Ugh. They couldn’t think of a satisfying ending with a lot of closure so they did that? As much as we disapprove, we were manipulated into feeling touched when the three wives who bickered through this entire season embraced. Apparently, Marge holds the Melchizedek priesthood with Bill’s blessing now, Nicki is the same person we met in season one (only without the attachment to the compound or the shopping problem), and Margene has become a lesbian. Now that stodgy old Bill is gone, Sarah came crawling around with her husband and baby in a “look I came back” cameo. The lead-up to the end was boring to us and kind of a waste of time. Just some fighting and worrying and showing us that Margene is the Peace Corps type. We thought she wanted to do sales. This season repeated things we had already seen from the show. It was a little unnecessary. Others may disagree, but we think newcomers should stop about three episodes into season 4 and just have it end there for them.

Here are other ways they could have ended it:

1) Bill goes to prison. Margene takes off. Barb moves to be with Sarah. Nicki holds down the fort.

2) They all take off. Margene’s getaway plan!

3) Margene is a casualty in Alby’s shooting. The D.A. and Bill’s political enemies drop the charges out of sympathy. Bill resigns.

And 4) Earlier in the season, the old D.A. from season 3 moves back. Nicki runs off with him. And who cares what happens to everyone else. Psh, we wish.

Question: Can the girls marry three different guys now? Or do they all have to go find the same guy? We are envisioning a future where Nicki goes to Mexico to get Joey, because she's so attached to being Mrs. Hendrickson. We guess the show was about the family relationship between the women (more than it was about their marriage to Bill). We loved the epilogue, actually, all jokes aside. We liked the reference to the Teeny debacle ("That girl doesn't know whether she's coming or going.") The best part of the finale is that those three are still married to each other. With Bill still watching creepily from a chair.

Season Grade: B-
Series Grade: A-

Read this interview with the showrunners: http://www.tvline.com/2011/03/big-love-post-mortem-your-burning-series-finale-questions-answered/

Did you hate it or love it?

Southland Season Three

We know we’re a little late on this, but let’s talk about the Southland finale. We didn’t watch it right away, because we wanted to have one more episode to watch before the break. Southland seasons are short, but sweet. Well, not sweet. Gritty and awful. In a good way. This review is going to be short, because there’s never much to say about this show except “it’s really good.”

The finale had John Cooper finally going to get the help he needs. Ben got him to that point, right before he graduated and got partnered with Sammy. Lydia and her partner’s son were busted, and Mommy is not happy. Sammy got his revenge….sort of. He didn’t shoot the gangster who killed Nate, but he was there to whisper Nate’s name in the guy’s ear as he was dying. Then Sammy had a baby. He named him, what else?, Nate. The hooker was hilarious. The acting was good in the finale. There was closure. There weren’t any cheap things like a cliffhanger. There might also be room for a new character. John Cooper needs another guy…or girl…to train.

Now is a great time to just jump into the fourth season when it airs. Let’s get this well-written, engrossing show the ratings it deserves. It's our favorite cop show ever. If you're not watching it, you're wrong. Southland is probably going to be renewed, and if it is not, we are going to scream and throw things.

Season three grade: A