Checking in with Mad Men (Season five episodes 7-10)

This season is all about Megan, so if you are not Team Megan or a Megan enjoyer, we feel for you, because you must be hating this season. However, we think you are crazy, because Megan is driving this show to new and better places. Our fear last year was that she would be stupid. We thought she would just be a young trophy wife who wouldn’t challenge Don at all and who would be way in over her head. We thought she would be a plaything before Don realized his mistake, threw Megan away, and got Faye back. However, Megan doesn’t take crap from anyone, and she isn’t stupid at all. In the first six episodes, we saw the couple go through some histrionics, figuring out how to treat each other. Megan wouldn’t put up with Don’s usual chauvinism and Don seems unaware of how to react to Megan’s dramatics.

But there have been bright spots in the last few months for the newlyweds. Don allowed Megan to quit the ad firm to pursue her acting dreams, she gets along with the children (for the most part), Don doesn’t cheat, when Megan had a good idea for a pitch Don supported it and admitted her tagline was better than his, and they really do seem to like each other. We never thought we’d see Don in a good relationship and we wonder how long it will last. Megan knows about Anne Draper and thinks it’s just fine. The fighting is healthy in that it’s out in the open and both parties speak their mind. Yeah, there are issues. Don’s mad at Megan for leaving the firm and feels judged for his business by Megan, her theater friends, and her family. Megan likes to fight and then have makeup sex. But with a show like this, this relationship is as nice as you can hope for.

We loved seeing guest stars Julia Ormond and Alexis Bledel. Julia, who we remember well from our childhoods as Guinevere in First Knight (a guilty pleasure movie about King Arthur and Lancelot), played Megan’s French mother. Alexis Bledel is Pete’s newest crush. He cheated on Trudy yet again, and this time with the wife of the nasty miser who commutes to work with him on the train. Alexis, if you can believe it, is thirty years old. She speaks a little differently, and we like it. She sounds more mature. She looks the same as ever. She could still pass for a high schooler, easily. It’s so fun to see her. For a while, she wasn’t getting very good projects, and Mad Men is a great one, especially this season. We really didn’t need to see that much of Rory Gilmore’s boob though.

Lane stole money from the firm and committed fraud in order to pay his debts. We like Lane. Okay, no we don’t. We mostly just feel bad for him. But we feel like this move is going to end in him leaving the firm, and he is going to deserve to lose his job and have to move back to Europe. Was Peggy threatened by Megan? She told Joan that Megan was a girl who was just good at everything, and her heartfelt congratulations to Megan after the Heinz closing seemed genuine. But she had a stank look on her face at times, and Don seems to think that Peggy was jealous of Megan. We are giving Peggy the benefit of the doubt…this time.

We agreed with Peggy’s mother than moving in with her boyfriend was a bad idea, but the mother’s reaction was uncalled for. People should be allowed to do what they want. We guess that was a different, less accepting time when it comes to cohabitation. Also, Momma’s advice to get cats instead was truly sad. Peggy might not have too many romance options. Ern’s brother said that Peggy looks like Dobby from Harry Potter. (What??!!) We never can tell if we think Elizabeth Moss is attractive. They give her the worst hair on this show. But she’s certainly better looking than a house elf.

Sally continues to intrigue. She’s growing up fast (too fast, since she had to see Roger getting head from Megan’s mom). We actually weren’t that mad at Betty for her sabotage attempt. Yeah, it was low and Betty is more unlikeable than almost anyone else on this show, but we’ve seen real life parents badmouth each other and try to turn their kids against each other in much worse ways. That didn’t exactly shock us.

What is shocking Don’s work life. He used to be so honorable toward his clients and respected, but he’s burned bridges with the Lucky Strike letter. He’s distracted because of Megan. Don also screwed over Ginsburg for the sake of his own pride when he didn’t show the client both Sno-Ball ideas. We expect more from Don, but these are signs that he’s feeling insecure at work. Not to mention how painful it was to watch Don try to make his stupid idea work. What happened to his cool magic at the workplace? We like that the show is doing this to Don. It's taking his mojo and yet the show is still interesting. 

Roger needs to do LSD again so he gets less clueless. We felt bad for Judy after he had sex with her in her new apartment. His admission that he felt terrible was welcome though. We wonder where the show is taking the Roger character. We don’t like Harry much, and his dalliance with the Hare Krishna woman only served to further annoy us. We loved Don and Joan getting time together last week, and we think everyone agrees with us there. Joan has been at her most badass this season. We also loved Megan teaching Sally to cry on cue, which should come in handy in the future, since Sally is getting to be a little batty. We tried Megan’s tips, but we need to practice more…

We’ve been finding the show to be warmer, more thoughtful, and more accessible in season five. Since the show has already done the “adulterous superhero ad men and their secretaries” thing to death, it now has to find someplace new to take the characters and themes. The world is moving on, Don Draper is starting to feel like an old man, and the men who used to be on top of the world are now a little out of touch. They are playing more Beatles and showing us the changing world. We love seeing the show grown up and explore different ideas. There hasn’t been a boring episode yet this season. For Mad Men, that’s a huge achievement. Also, Pete got punched in the face! Come on! Best season ever.

Netflix is claiming that it boosted Mad Men’s ratings by making the show’s four season available to stream. We tend to agree. If it weren’t for Netflix, we wouldn’t have been caught up this season, and we wouldn’t have been into the show at all. It takes nearly a whole season to like this show for most people, so streaming on Netflix for free is pretty necessary.

At the Codfish Ball: B

Lady Lazarus: A-

Dark Shadows: A

Christmas Waltz: B

Glee finale: Goodbye

We know what you guys want: a Glee reaction post. Well, you can have it because you deserve it. Blog stats are awfully nice these days. 

One of us (okay, Leeard) spent the episode crying off and on, but Ern didn’t even care until the second half when we started saying goodbye to Quinn and Rachel. It didn’t help that the episode started out with Will singing “Forever Young.” Can you think of any Will Schuster song that you ever absolutely loved or downloaded? We can think of maybe one. And we didn’t download it. (It was that one with Mike Chang dancing when Will had a fever.) Will is just sappy and lame and we don’t love him. 

Mercedes is going to L.A. to be a back-up singer, which is awesome, but we will miss her on the show if she leaves. She has arguably the best voice on the show. Rachel is the one who would be arguing. Brittany has a 0.0 GPA, much like Britney Spears before her. Gloria Estefan guest stars as Santana’s mom and does a good job. Santana decides to skip college in Kentucky, where she would have been a cheerleader, and go to New York to pursue singing and dancing. Gloria Estefan gamely ends up supporting her. We love that she was supportive of Santana’s sexuality as well. Also, we're supportive of Santana never finding her fabulous self in Kentucky.

Quinn kisses Puck to help him get his confidence back. This sounds stupid, but it was actually charming. He got a “Puckerman A” (a C-) on his test and graduated! Burt reenacts Kurt’s dance to "Single Ladies". Burt is the sweetest and the best, but Ern doesn’t think anyone needed to see that. To the shock of tumblr, Finn and Kurt were rejected by their schools in New York, but Rachel gets into NYADA. This makes perfect sense to us, because there are hardly any roles for Kurt and he can’t sing without autotune. Finn is talentless, this we know. He can play the drums though. Rachel showed passion, persistence (okay, stalking), and she can sing the house down.

Rachel tries to be stupid and stay with her friends, but Finn actually mans up and drives her to the train station, dumping her and joining the army. Rachel travels to New York City and walks around it, singing "Roots Before Branches" and crying. And you know what? We were touched. Rachel has been on this rocky journey for three years. Sometimes she was obnoxious in the past two seasons, but we remember her being the heart of the show in season one, and we were happy to see her living her dreams. As she looked around the city, it was striking how far she has come from Lima. We are alright with Finchel being over, especially for such smart, unselfish reasons. Plus, it's only temporary.

The songs in the episode were okay. "Glory Days" doesn't seem like the right choice for graduation as the seniors are walking across the stage, but this is Glee, so we don’t care. Kurt’s "I Remember" was forgettable, and surprisingly, so was the cover of The Beatles’ "In My Life". We got to see how blank the underclassman voices are together. Yayyy, something to look forward to. The Glee Project had better find some good people this summer. We need replacements, fast! "You Get What You Give" was lame, which was disappointing because the recorded version was so good. It had a lot more energy and voices behind it. We don’t know why that version wasn’t used.

At the end of the season, we really don’t know who is staying on the show or going. That tainted our enjoyment of the finale. We assume Mercedes will be gone. Ryan Murphy (who has lied to us before) said that Kurt and Rachel are not leaving the show and that he has a plan to keep the seniors around, which is weird. We think it’s time for new blood and new characters, with guest starring appearances by Rachel and Rachel’s voice at least once a week. Sadly, Finn will be back next season, or so we hear. How is the show going to manage this? Artie is still a junior. Ugh. Tina has been sounding great lately, so we are glad to still have her for sure. As dumb as this show is, we want to see what season four does, so we will be back next year. Sidenotes: We loved the Nationals episode and the one where Beiste walked out on Cooter. Bad ass.

Finale grade: A-

Season grade: B (Which is a step up from the C+ we gave the second season)

Summer Show List and Dates

We are not including everything, because some stuff looks bad, but here are some important shows and dates that we will/might/could look forward too.

• So You Think You Can Dance - Tonight. This reality competition has been running for a long time, and it’s a favorite of Leeard’s
• Rookie Blue - Tonight. Leeard loves this cop drama, and its third season is just now starting. 
• Workaholics - May 29. This show is in its third season, and you can check out episodes on Instant Netflix. Three guy friends got this show based off of shorts they made about their partying, sad lives. It’s actually pretty funny, if for a very narrow crowd.
• Melissa & Joey - May 30. The second season of this show is (inexplicably) happening this summer. Leeard watches it (don't judge) for strictly nostalgic reasons.
• Breaking Pointe - May 31. This is a documentary series following a real-life ballet company. We love ballet, so this should be good. Maybe there will be some drama to go with it.
• Drop Dead Diva - June 3. Leeard watches this Lifetime body-swap show, which is starting its third season this year.
• The Glades - June 3. Yes, this is still on. And Leeard is still watching.
• Longmire - June 3. A new show that’s a modern take on Westerns and crime thrillers. It could be right up Ern’s alley (Deadwood, Justified, Breaking Bad), or it could be lame.
• Teen Wolf - June 3. Season two of this underrated MTV show begins. Leeard likes it and Ern is still considering catching up. Maybe.
• Pretty Little Liars - June 5. Season three starts and we wouldn’t miss it for the world. The previews look fantastic, and we expect nothing less from this wonderful show.
• Jane By Design - June 5. Ern to Leeard: Do you still watch this show? Leeard: Duh
• Rizzoli and Isles - June 5. This show is starting its third season. Leeard watches it, because she's a sucker for police procedurals. (Ern sidenote: Then watch Southland, dammit.)
• Franklin and Bash - June 5. Season two premiere. The first season was amusing, so we'll stick around for another.
• Necessary Roughness - June 6. We don't know how USA does it, but it's basically Leeard's beacon of hope during the summer months. This isn't the best show on the channel, but it's watchable and has Max Medina in it.
• Saving Hope - June 7. This new Canadian show reminds us of A Gifted Man. Hopefully it’s better and more entertaining.
• True Blood - June 10. Season five needs to be better than seasons three and four is all we are saying. This show has languished in the quagmire of suckitude for too long. Still, it’s probably the best show on during the summer until Breaking Bad starts, so we’ll watch it.
• The Secret Life of the American Teenager - June 11 (a week after its season 4 finale). This show is in its FIFTH season, if you can believe it.  One of us will hate this show forever.
• Bunheads - June 11. Amy Sherman Palladino reunites with Emily Gilmore and grabs Sutton Foster along the way to create this new show about a small-town ballet instructor. This. looks. Awesome.
• Suits - June 14. This show was a nice surprise for Leeard and we’re looking forward to its second season.
• Falling Skies - June 17. We remember watching a little of the first season and not thinking it was terrible, but it wasn’t something we just had to watch either. Whether we catch up and then tune into season two is going to depend greatly on how bored we are.
• Baby Daddy - June 20. Unless this gets rave reviews or you guys overwhelmingly recommend it, we will stick with Raising Hope rather than check out this new copy.
• Inside Men - June 20. This new show sounds cool. It’s from BBC America and follows three men planning a heist.
• The Newsroom - June 24. Aaron Sorkin and a decent cast on HBO? Sign us up for this new show.
• Wipeout - June 25. We’ll catch a little of season five, because this show will never stop being hilarious.
• Anger Management - June 28. Like a train wreck, we won’t be able to look away from Charlie Sheen’s new show…for a few episodes anyway.
• Awkward. - June 28. We’re glad this show got a second season and one of us still needs to catch up in time! Leeard is glad Ern is going to catch up, because this show (along with Teen Wolf) is a shockingly good summer show with a really great finale.
• Louie - June 28. We’ve heard so many wonderful things about this show that we may need to catch up in time for season two of this comedy as well.
• Brand X with Russell Brand - June 28. Maybe you, like just about everyone else, are sick of Russell Brand. Ern isn't yet, so she will check his talk show out from time-to-time.
• Weeds - July 1. We can’t believe this show is in its eighth season. It’s time to see Nancy’s chickens come home to roost. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: We think Esteban is still alive and that he shot Nancy.
• Episodes - July 1. Ern feels like she’s the only person enjoying this show, but screw all you guys. Season two is going to rock, because Matt is STILL on it.
• The Glee Project - June 2. We love this show more than the actual Glee. If you haven’t tuned in to the most interesting, least cruel reality show on TV, check it out. The kids last year were real, talented, polarizing, and entertaining. Ryan Murphy knows how not to crush their little spirits, and we are eager to see a new group get the opportunity to make Glee a little less lame (or be transformed into lameness by being on Glee. Cough. Damian. Cough.)
• Web Therapy - July 2. Lisa Kudrow is a genius and a second season of her celebrity-ridden, funny project is just what the summer needs.
• Dance Moms - June 5. Stop laughing. This returning reality show is funny and those kids can really dance. If only they would stop them from doing the oversexualized dance routines in two-pieces. They are like nine, seriously.
• Perception - July 9. This sounds terrible. It’s an FBI procedural with Rachel Leigh Cook, also starring Eric McCormack as a schizophrenic professor whose delusions help him solve crimes. Since it’s a new show, we may at least watch the pilot.
• White Collar - July 10. Is Matt Bomer still on the show? Yes? Good, then Leeard will tune in for the fourth season to lust over him. She would watch anything featuring that gorgeous man.
• Covert Affairs - July 10. Season three begins. Leeard enjoys it, mainly because this show fills a little of the Alias-sized hole in her heart.
• Damages - July 11. This will be the fifth and final season.
• Big Brother - July 12. Leeard loves this show and Ern has never seen it. Maybe this year….
• Political Animals - July 15. What intrigues us about this new show is its cast. We don’t think Sigourney Weaver, Carla Gugino, Ellen Burstyn, Adrian Pasdar and James Wolk would all have signed on for a lemon.
• Breaking Bad - July 15. The first half of season five reportedly begins right where season four left off. Ern is dying with anticipation. This show is one of the best ever created.
• Degrassi: The Next Generation - July 16. This is one of Leeard's favorite shows. It's definitely worth watching if you're a fan of teen drama and angst.
• Warehouse 13 - July 23. This Syfy show is starting its fourth season, and apparently it’s a hit. We’ve never seen it, but after watching what Syfy did with Being Human, we might check this out.
• Hell on Wheels - August 12. Season two starts, and Bohannon still hasn’t found those Union soldiers he hates. Ern will need something to distract her from waiting for bar exam results, so while this series isn’t as good as we hoped it would be, it’s still worth a look.
• Boss - August 17. Based on word of mouth, it’s time for us to give this show another chance. Season two, we will see you in a couple of months.
• Copper - August 19. This is BBC America’s first original series. It’s set in the 1860s and is about an Irish-American cop in the Five Points neighborhood. We sense awesomeness potential, believe it or not.

We will save this in the cloud link under "-dates" if you need to refer back throughout the summer.

Revenge season one finale chat: Reckoning

Ern: !!!!!!!!!!!!

Leeard: ?

Ern: It's on. Der.

Amanda fakes a robbery to steal the Grayson evidence from Daniel.

Leeard: Ah. Amanda is the tits

Ern: I like that you are saying “the tits” now. Because I love saying it. I love how Daniel stopped the search for the intruder to give Emily a hug.

White-haired man takes Nolan and Amanda reveals her true identity to White-Haired Man.

Leeard: NOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

Ern: Man, this guy is serious. He was much nicer on 24. If this show takes Nolan, I will not be pleased. He is the Greek Chorus of this whole tragedy. I’m still not sure I root for Amanda, but yeah, I’d respect it too.

Leeard: Amanda is such a bad ass. 

Conrad shows up to search Victoria's house.

Leeard: Victoria is such a better villain than Conrad.

Ern: I thought Victoria was a little over-the-top in that scene, but generally, I agree.

Leeard: I think that’s the acting, mainly. Emily Van Camp is awesome in this role so far, and I loved her in Everwood, but I think it was one of several weird acting choices on this show. 

White-Haired Man and Amanda meet and she is taken

“As you wish.” The white-haired man loves Amanda. She's. A. f***ing. Bad ass.

Ern: Wouldn’t you just pretend to sniff the chloroform?

Leeard: He could probably tell.

Ern: I mean, I’d try that first.

Leeard: I wouldn’t. I think I trust him when he threatens to kill Nolan. She has a f***ing lockpick hidden inside her watch. She’s the best.

Ern: That really was a good idea. Too bad it didn't work. Who are you rooting for at this point? My list is: Nolan, Jack, and Victoria. They killed my damn dog, dammit. I'm still crying over that.

Leeard: a) It's not your dog. b) Amanda and Nolan. I kind of want Jack to just get the hell out of the Hamptons. 

Amanda has another lockpick in her clothes

Leeard: Oh my God, I love her. I knew Amanda would have a backup plan.

At Charlotte and Declan's snooty school...

Ern: Note that Charlotte and Declan are on neither of our lists. Declan is still the worst casting decision in the history of this show. I like Declan’s new girl. She seems smart and she’s less horse-looking than Charlotte. I love her curly hair.

Leeard: I love Charlotte’s hair.

Ern: It’s pretty normal. Smooth. Straighten yours and dye it that color.

Leeard: I do straighten it, thank you. I want it to look like that naturally.

Ern: Even hers doesn’t. And if I were picking TV hairstyles that I would just have naturally, I would have Aria Montgomery’s hair on Pretty Little Liars.

Ashley tells Daniel about the kiss

Leeard: People I’m NOT rooting for: Ashley.

Ern: Ashley has something up her sleeve.

Charlotte impersonates Victoria to get dirt on the new girl at school, then Conrad gives Lydia a present

Leeard: Duh. Ha, oh Charlotte, I like your Victoria voice.

Ern. Charlotte has been acting crazypants for too long

Leeard: I kinda like crazypants. Ugh, Conrad bribing Lydia. He’s so gross. They deserve each other.

Amanda and White-Haired Man fight

Ern: Amanda has an axe? Nice.

Leeard: She’s. So. Cool. Shit like this is why I’m rooting for her.

Ern: Amanda’s mother is so coming into play soon.

Leeard: Fight, fight, fight. Aaaand there go White-Haired Man’s balls. Slit his f***ing throat Amanda.

Ern. Agree. This isn’t the time for her to go all Batman. Actually, on second thought, I like that she isn’t a sociopath. It helps me get her more.

Leeard: I’m okay with her not killing him, but that was just…not payoff.

Ern: Something needs to happen to White-Haired Man. Maybe Conrad will do it. Lydia is a twat.

Leeard: Mmmhmm.

Victoria hears some devastating news.

Ern: Awww, Victoria didn’t know that Conrad killed David. This is why I root for Victoria. She was just trying to follow her heart and was too cowardly years ago to make things right. Now she's bad ass, doing a hot artist, and sticking it to Conrad.

Leeard: Conrad, I didn’t think it was possible for Victoria to hate you more. 

Daniel confronts his fiance about the kiss.

Leeard: Oh shit!

Ern: Daniel is not nearly angry enough. Ashley must not have made it clear how hot and wonderful that kiss was. I ship Daniel/Amanda, but I loved that Jack/Amanda moment last week. This the most real conversation Amanda has ever had with Daniel. I like it.

Leeard: Me too. I was just about to say: I love that she’s actually being honest with him. Well, as honest as she can be.

Ern: Wow, I can’t believe Amanda is ending this. The engagement is no longer a part of her plot.

Leeard: She liiiiiiikes Daniel.

Ern: I would too, if he stopped being Conrad’s pet retard. I would start rooting for him again.

Leeard: Word. I’m still kind of rooting for him. Like, rooting for him to stop being a Grayson.

Ern: I think he will get there. After the next commercial, can we pause it so i can get some food?

Leeard: Ugh. For how long?

Ern: Like, four minutes. I have to go to the fridge, heat a slice, and come back.

Leeard. I love how American non-American people can sound normal but have like one word or sound that totally makes me realize they’re from another country.

Ern: Okay, i have my food. Tell me when to play

Leeard: Play

Ern: Playing

Leeard: HA. Taxi-cab bounce

Ern: Who do you think is prettier, Lydia or Victoria?

Leeard: Hmm. Probably Lydia. Nolan and Amanda are freaking me out with this celebratory champagne stuff. I don’t like it.

Ern: Jack is totally dying.

Leeard: Someone is.

Charlotte then sends the gossip about the new girl to everyone in her school.

Leeard: Godd***it, Charlotte

Ern: What a bitch.

Leeard: Someone shoot that girl. Get it, Declan.

Ern: I might like him now.

Leeard: Pretty much. That was great.

Victoria comes to Amanda and Amanda opens the engagement gift.

Leeard: HA. I’m not gonna lie, I knew there would be nothing in there.

Ern: That's a pretty good diss.

Amanda goes to Jack and Emily shows up, pregnant.

Ern: Ugh, no.

Leeard: Godd***it! NO. OH F***. F*** F*** F*** F***.

Ern: This is the opposite of the tits.

Leeard: People I don’t root for, continued: The fake Amanda (Emily).

Ern: How is she even alive? Ugh.

Leeard: Seriously. Can I speak her name to Jaqen?

Ern: She is worthy to be one of the three.

Ashley and Daniel share a drink

Leeard: Ashley, if you get with Daniel, I will root for you even less. I really don’t like how they’ve pretty much dropped the Amanda/Ashley friendship, since that was Emily’s official introduction to the Hamptons.

Ern: Well, Ashley started being a bitch, and they were never great friends. Ashley has the worst type of English accent. It’s not even cute like they usually are.

Victoria to Charlotte on payback: It makes me feel good about myself when the other party deserved it.

Ern: Nice parenting, Victoria.

Leeard: Ha, yeah, she’s not exactly the best mom.

Conrad shows up to yell at Victoria again, and she has some good comebacks

Ern: Conrad sounds like Agent Smith on The Matrix. “Mister Anderson…..”

Leeard: Ha, I love Victoria. Love = solidified.

Ern. She is the best.

Leeard: No, Amanda is the best.

Ern: No, Victoria is better.

Leeard: No. How has no one died yet? This is making me scared.

Ern: They will.

Leeard: I know. That’s why I’m scared.

Ern: It had better be someone important too.

Leeard: It will be.

Victoria heads for her plane.

Ern: I love when TV uses this song ("Seven Devils" by Florence + the Machine)

Leeard: I want the plane to blow up.

Ern: No!

Leeard: But it would be nice mirroring to the terrorist plane crash.

Ern: That’s true, if all you want is mirroring.

Leeard: It’s not all I want, obviously. Ha! Hey White-Haired Man. Yep.

The plane blows up.

Ern: Ugh, I hate you.

Leeard: I don’t think Victoria died though.

Ern: No way. If she did though: balls.

Charlotte takes pills.

Leeard: Good. Peace out, Charlotte.

Ern: Die Charlotte! Die!

Leeard: Ugh. Dammit, Conrad.

Nolan tells Amanda he has a copy of the evidence.

Leeard: YES. NOLAN I LOVE YOU. Nolan is the f***ing tits.

Ern: Nolan!!!!!!!!!!!

Leeard: Momma Clarkeeeeeeeeeee!

Ern: Oh hey, now I have to wait all summer to find out about this.

Leeard: Um WE have to wait

Some people are saying that this show is the new LOST. We agree that the LOST heir will be nothing like LOST, but we don't think Revenge is it (yet). It is a good, addictive, twisty show, but it isn't as smart and it doesn't have that obsession-breeding factor. It does have an ensemble of characters that we both love and hate though. And it's on ABC. But it's the Stannis until we find our Gendry. Revenge is a good show, and it's the closest thing we've gotten on network TV to a LOST heir, but we think a better one will emerge, probably years from now. We want to re-watch season one and summarize it before season two starts, so be on the lookout for that.

Finale grade: A-

Leeard's season grade: A

Ern's season grade: B+

American Idol finale

Well, the finale of American Idol is tonight. Guess we can’t ignore the show anymore. With one of the least exciting final twos ever (for us, at least), we’ll make this short and sweet.

Phillip Phillips is the twitchy Dave Matthews soundalike. He’s easily our pick to win, even if he’s not the most technically adept singer left.

Our favorite Phillip Phillips performance: “Hard to Handle” by Otis Redding. “Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song)” is a close second, partly because we love Billy Joel.

We’re rooting for him because, as Randy said a few weeks ago, he strives to make every song his own. We really appreciate that. If we wanted to listen something that sounds like the original version, we’d just listen to the original.

Jessica Sanchez is the technically proficient belter. She seems like a nice person, she just shows very little personality in most of her performances.

Our favorite Jessica Sanchez performance: “Dance with my Father” by Luther Vandross, because we finally saw some emotional connection between her and song. “Proud Mary” is a close second; she looked like she was having fun.

Leeard wanted to put the video of Jessica performing “I Have Nothing” next to a video of Whitney performing it as the reason we don’t love her. If she wants to try to sound like Whitney or Mariah, that’s fine. We have no problem with that, because those are two of the greatest female singers ever. However, a big part of what makes them great is how they connect with the lyrics and messages of their songs and Jessica just doesn’t. Hopefully this will come with experience, because we have little doubt she’ll get a recording contract whether or not she wins tonight.

We think Phillip will win, but we almost don’t want him to, just so he doesn’t have the notoriously horrible Idol record deal.

Community, Grey’s Anatomy, How I Met Your Mother, Smash, New Girl, Secret Circle, and Make It or Break It end their seasons.

Community: Leeard loved the last three episodes of Community, particularly the first and third episodes. Ern was less enthused about them, believing them to not be the show’s best. However, this is a show you should be watching. It’s uneven to most fans, but we think it’s at least consistently worth 22 minutes a week. This season has been pretty strong. The stand-out episodes were "Pillows and Blankets" and the one with the multiple timelines ("Remedial Chaos Theory"). Oh yeah, and the Christmas special ("Regional Holiday Music"). Those three episodes were classic Community. We can’t wait for season four. 
Season grade: A-

Grey’s Anatomy: We are so angry at this show for killing off that character. That was not the character who needed to go. Out of all the annoying people on this show, they took that character? We were very surprised. We like Jackson and April together. We always hated her, but she is way less annoying when she is with Jackson. Clearly, Owen and Cristina need to get back together, if only because we love seeing a TV couple fight that hard for a marriage that has every reason to end. The fact that this show is still churning out episodes we care about is a feat in itself. It is a soap opera in its eighth season. So, bravo Grey’s. Since Cristina and Alex are staying for next year, so are we. 
Season grade: B+

How I Met Your Mother: We did not hate the two-part season finale. It was predictable that Robin and Barney were going to get married, but we like that twist anyway. Marvin is a horrible name, but “Wait for It” IS the best middle name ever. It’s time for us to meet the mother. We love Victoria (especially Leeard), but the show needs to stop dawdling with her. This season was mostly unfunny with a few gems. We will stick with it until the bitter end, because that’s how much we want to meet Mrs. Mosby. But unless the show steps up the actual humor next year, we won’t be happy about it. 
Season grade: D+

Smash: Oh God, this show. We are so addicted to it, but friends, it isn’t good. It lost its last shred of realism when Karen took the stage on opening night instead of Ivy. We want to hear Ivy’s version of that last song, because it’s a really good number and it deserves to be sung by NOT boring, average Karen. Derek is a moron. We like that Julia and Frank are back together though, if only so that next season the world might get to hear that man sing. That’s really what we are holding out for. Knowing this show, Smash will give him a song that won’t show him off properly. We are entertained by this show, but why isn’t it as good as its pilot was? We may or may not return for a second season. It depends on how we feel in the fall. We hope they scrap Bombshell and work to create an entirely new show that's not based on Marilyn. We're not getting our hopes up for that though. The great thing about next season is that Dev and Ellis will not be season regulars. We've never liked Dev and most people don't like Ellis (we thought he brought good drama) and we are sick of hearing them complain. 
Season grade: C-

New Girl: We have rarely seen a stronger first season from a comedy. This show criticized its own flaws in that great Lizzie Caplan court episode and found its voice early on. It also moved its focus from just adorkable Jess to its loveable ensemble. We like every character on this show and their interactions contain a chemistry mostly seen in casts that have been together longer. The finale was cute and funny. We love that Nick didn’t end up with Caroline in the finale. We thought the show might do some cliffhanger where he actually left and the gang would have to get him back next year, but the show chose not to annoy us. Isn’t that nice? We will absolutely, gladly watch this show’s second season. No question. 
Season grade: A

Secret Circle: We will always be mad that this show was cancelled and we will refuse to believe it for a while. Breaking In was brought back!? Can’t the CW save this one? The series finale was more satisfying than we thought it would be. The death of Cassie’s dad was great. The set up for a nonexistent second season was good, yet the finale had a definite ending. We liked seeing Diana take control of her life and ditch the circle. We liked seeing previews of Adam’s dark side. Charles had started to redeem himself. There was lots of action and a magic crystal skull and everything!!! Ugh, why show? Why? For anyone who has read the books- should we? Will they fill that void? 
Season and series grade: A- and we don’t care what anyone says to the contrary.

Make It or Break It: We enjoyed this season and liked that ABCFamily tried to give a little more closure….but this season was not what we wanted. No Emily, very little Sasha, no Peri Gilpin, no Olympics, a redeemed Lauren Tanner (when all we wanted to do was hate her), and Jordan. Stupid, stupid Jordan. The actress playing her was not good and we could not have cared less about her being molested (a “twist” that was not difficult to guess early on). The premiere of the season was cheesy as all-get-out. The tension and backstabbing drama was toned down. We liked the season, but it was nowhere near as good and entertaining as seasons one and two. We feel like the network let fans down with this shortened, cutesy series of episodes that did not resemble the tension-filled, almost powerful seasons that preceded it.
Season grade: B- 
Series grade: A-

Our most recent Game of Thrones chat and a little blog news.

First, some BLOG NEWS: Leeard and Ern are going to Europe together in eight days, so we will try to post daily up until then to make up for it. We are less into the weekly recaps now and more into general comments, lists, recommendations, chats, and occasional reviews of important episodes. That's sort of "the shape of things to come." More regular posts, but different kinds of posts. We think it will be better and also more fun for us, so hang in there while we figure out what this blog should look like. Amazingly, after more than a year, we still haven't found our groove. On that note, do ya'll like Helvetica? 

This is our chat on the most recent episode of Game of Thrones, "The Prince of Winterfell". You know, the one where they used the C-word like ten times, haha. This chat mostly serves to show how sex-obsessed we are, possibly because we aren't getting any. We will leave our usual cursing, because if you are watching Game of Thrones, we've decided you can handle an uncensored chat. We cuss a little, but at least we are honest about our faults, right?

Ern: I love Theon Greyjoy's sister, Yara. Mostly because she irks Theon Greyjoy, dick of the north.

Leeard: I hate Yara, but I love her when she lays the hammer.

Ern: Yara kind of reminds me of Lena Dunham (Hannah Horvath) on Girls, haha. Three C-words already? Good.The best Game of Thrones episodes have the C-word. Oh no. I have something in common with Theon. We both were bad, screaming babies

Leeard: She should've strangled him

Ern: Mmhmm. I think Ygritte has a thing for Jon Snow

Leeard: I think everyone has a thing for Jon Snow. I ship me in a threesome with Jon Snow and Robb Stark.

Ern: I think I like Jeyne Westerling for Robb better than I like you for Robb.

Leeard: Don't care

Ern: But you can have Jon Snow. Oh Catelyn. Letting Jaime go. Nice going. Ha! I think Brienne/Jaime scenes sound like the best possible thing this show could give me, because I love both of them.

Leeard: Get it girrrrrrrrrrl.

Ern: Jaime says a bunch of mean things to Brienne and then says, "Why do you hate me so much?" I hope she kicks his ass one day.

Leeard: Me too. I think she could.

Ern: Me too. I think she could kick just about anyone's ass. Even Jack Bauer's, and you know I would not say that lightly. I’m still disturbed that Jaime has only been with his twin sister. He needs to stop talking about Brienne’s lack of sex partners. I can't believe this episode made me wait 20 minutes before letting me see Tyrion.

Leeard: I saw him in the “previouslies”

Ern: Good call watching those then. I think this show needs to cut or merge a few characters. I read the books in high school, and even I am having trouble remembering all these chodes.

Leeard: I feel like merging would be even more confusing. http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/funny-pictures-animal-gifs-mine-my-teddy.gif Also: 8 DAYS

Ern: That's me with my body pillow at night, because I'm sad and alone. Lol. Also, woooo hoooo. We will take Europe by storm.

Leeard: Samwise needs to brush his teeth

Ern: I just thought that too

Leeard: Ha. Jaqen is really fucking hot.

Ern: I don’t see it, but I like Jaqen. "A man has patrol duty"

Leeard: I see it. I even saw it when he was in the cage, being creepy. I see it more now that he’s being nice to Arya. Well, “being nice.”

Ern: I like his highlights

Leeard: I like his face

Ern: Tricky, Arya. The third-person speech usually annoys me, but it's funny when Jaqen does it. Oh Cersei, you did NOT just call Tyrion a child molester

Leeard: Little bit

Ern: Yes Tyrion, YES. Send Joffrey to war. Cersei, I would not mess with Tyrion like that. Give him back his ho.

Leeard: I'm kind of excited.

Ern: Me too. It's on. Oh, it's on.

Leeard: HA

Ern: Hahahahahaha. Cersei, you idiot.

Leeard: Okay, I loved that. I wouldn’t have been able to stop laughing if I were Tyrion

Ern: It's a good thing Tyrion has sex with multiple whores. Whorishness for the win! Look at Cersei smile like she has the right person.

Leeard: Mmmmmmmmmhmm.

Ern: I don't like Shae though, even still.

Leeard: Man, I thought Cersei was smart. Awwwww (to Tyrion talking to Shae).

Ern: If I was on this show, I would immediately become a prostitute and head for Tyrion, because he is the BEST.

Leeard: Too bad he's Shae's

Ern: I'd kill that bitch.

Leeard: No, you wouldn't.

Ern: Jeyne and Robb: have sex, please. Stop complaining and bone.

Leeard: Meh. She bugs me.

Ern: I'll give you one thing: She talks too slowly. That doesn't make things more dramatic. It just makes me have to wait longer for something to happen.

Leeard: So, her brother had a gay lover?

Ern: That's not what I got out of that, but knowing this show, probably. Where does she get her lip gloss in the wilderness? (They start doing it.) YES.

Leeard: Ugh. Robb is so much better than this chick.

Ern: I think she's pretty cool. Ha, I like that her boots are still on.

Leeard: Mmhmm

Ern: And that cute little giggle. Um, I want to see HIS ass too, show.

Leeard: SERIOUSLY. I ship me in a foursome with Jon Snow, Robb Stark, and Gendry.

Ern: No. Me.

Leeard: Psh, no. I'd maybe give Gendry to Arya.

Ern: Definitely. Oh, Stannis, you still exist. We haven't seen you in a while.

Leeard: Man, speaking of people I don't like. I miss Renly.

Ern: You don't like Stannis?

Leeard: I don't care about him. Like, at all.

Ern: I like him, because he really is a good guy. He just has no charisma, humor, or likeability. That's the point of him. He's the rightful heir (well, if you don't know about Gendry), but because nobody cares about him, he might not get the iron throne. I sympathize with skilled people who just don't have x-factor or charm.

Leeard: See, i agree about him being the rightful heir (ignoring my lover Gendry). I just don’t like him because he is “blah.”

Ern: Ugh, Joffrey.

Leeard: “I'll give him a red smile.” Oh Joffrey, you’re so stupid.

Ern: "Imagine Stannis' terror. I am trying."

Leeard: Haha. Hi Jorah. He’s pretty hot too.

Ern: I thought I was the only one who thought that!

Leeard: Hell no

Ern: Good. I hate when I think someone is hot and no one else does.

Leeard: Jorah- "Until my last breath i will remember." You naked. Is how he was thinking of finishing that sentence.

Ern: Daeny touched Jorah's face. He's gonna be all loopy and useless in the brain now.

Leeard: Mmhmm

Leeard: Brandon and Rickon are alive?!?! I'm shocked. (sarcasm)

Ern (at the exact same time): They're alive!!!!!!! shocker

Leeard: hahahaha

Ern: I don't like when our brains merge

Leeard: It happens enough that you should be used to it

Ern: I will never get used to it

Leeard: Sounds like a personal problem

Episode grade: B+