This is our chat on the most recent episode of Game of Thrones, "The Prince of Winterfell". You know, the one where they used the C-word like ten times, haha. This chat mostly serves to show how sex-obsessed we are, possibly because we aren't getting any. We will leave our usual cursing, because if you are watching Game of Thrones, we've decided you can handle an uncensored chat. We cuss a little, but at least we are honest about our faults, right?
Ern: I love Theon Greyjoy's sister, Yara. Mostly because she irks Theon Greyjoy, dick of the north.
Leeard: I hate Yara, but I love her when she lays the hammer.
Ern: Yara kind of reminds me of Lena Dunham (Hannah Horvath) on Girls, haha. Three C-words already? Good.The best Game of Thrones episodes have the C-word. Oh no. I have something in common with Theon. We both were bad, screaming babies
Leeard: She should've strangled him
Ern: Mmhmm. I think Ygritte has a thing for Jon Snow
Leeard: I think everyone has a thing for Jon Snow. I ship me in a threesome with Jon Snow and Robb Stark.
Ern: I think I like Jeyne Westerling for Robb better than I like you for Robb.
Leeard: Don't care
Ern: But you can have Jon Snow. Oh Catelyn. Letting Jaime go. Nice going. Ha! I think Brienne/Jaime scenes sound like the best possible thing this show could give me, because I love both of them.
Leeard: Get it girrrrrrrrrrl.
Ern: Jaime says a bunch of mean things to Brienne and then says, "Why do you hate me so much?" I hope she kicks his ass one day.
Leeard: Me too. I think she could.
Ern: Me too. I think she could kick just about anyone's ass. Even Jack Bauer's, and you know I would not say that lightly. I’m still disturbed that Jaime has only been with his twin sister. He needs to stop talking about Brienne’s lack of sex partners. I can't believe this episode made me wait 20 minutes before letting me see Tyrion.
Leeard: I saw him in the “previouslies”
Ern: Good call watching those then. I think this show needs to cut or merge a few characters. I read the books in high school, and even I am having trouble remembering all these chodes.
Leeard: I feel like merging would be even more confusing. http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/funny-pictures-animal-gifs-mine-my-teddy.gif Also: 8 DAYS
Ern: That's me with my body pillow at night, because I'm sad and alone. Lol. Also, woooo hoooo. We will take Europe by storm.
Leeard: Samwise needs to brush his teeth
Ern: I just thought that too
Leeard: Ha. Jaqen is really fucking hot.
Ern: I don’t see it, but I like Jaqen. "A man has patrol duty"
Leeard: I see it. I even saw it when he was in the cage, being creepy. I see it more now that he’s being nice to Arya. Well, “being nice.”
Ern: I like his highlights
Leeard: I like his face
Ern: Tricky, Arya. The third-person speech usually annoys me, but it's funny when Jaqen does it. Oh Cersei, you did NOT just call Tyrion a child molester
Leeard: Little bit
Ern: Yes Tyrion, YES. Send Joffrey to war. Cersei, I would not mess with Tyrion like that. Give him back his ho.
Leeard: I'm kind of excited.
Ern: Me too. It's on. Oh, it's on.
Ern: Hahahahahaha. Cersei, you idiot.
Leeard: Okay, I loved that. I wouldn’t have been able to stop laughing if I were Tyrion
Ern: It's a good thing Tyrion has sex with multiple whores. Whorishness for the win! Look at Cersei smile like she has the right person.
Ern: I don't like Shae though, even still.
Leeard: Man, I thought Cersei was smart. Awwwww (to Tyrion talking to Shae).
Ern: If I was on this show, I would immediately become a prostitute and head for Tyrion, because he is the BEST.
Leeard: Too bad he's Shae's
Ern: I'd kill that bitch.
Leeard: No, you wouldn't.
Ern: Jeyne and Robb: have sex, please. Stop complaining and bone.
Leeard: Meh. She bugs me.
Ern: I'll give you one thing: She talks too slowly. That doesn't make things more dramatic. It just makes me have to wait longer for something to happen.
Leeard: So, her brother had a gay lover?
Ern: That's not what I got out of that, but knowing this show, probably. Where does she get her lip gloss in the wilderness? (They start doing it.) YES.
Leeard: Ugh. Robb is so much better than this chick.
Ern: I think she's pretty cool. Ha, I like that her boots are still on.
Ern: And that cute little giggle. Um, I want to see HIS ass too, show.
Leeard: SERIOUSLY. I ship me in a foursome with Jon Snow, Robb Stark, and Gendry.
Ern: No. Me.
Leeard: Psh, no. I'd maybe give Gendry to Arya.
Ern: Definitely. Oh, Stannis, you still exist. We haven't seen you in a while.
Leeard: Man, speaking of people I don't like. I miss Renly.
Ern: You don't like Stannis?
Leeard: I don't care about him. Like, at all.
Ern: I like him, because he really is a good guy. He just has no charisma, humor, or likeability. That's the point of him. He's the rightful heir (well, if you don't know about Gendry), but because nobody cares about him, he might not get the iron throne. I sympathize with skilled people who just don't have x-factor or charm.
Leeard: See, i agree about him being the rightful heir (ignoring my lover Gendry). I just don’t like him because he is “blah.”
Ern: Ugh, Joffrey.
Leeard: “I'll give him a red smile.” Oh Joffrey, you’re so stupid.
Ern: "Imagine Stannis' terror. I am trying."
Leeard: Haha. Hi Jorah. He’s pretty hot too.
Ern: I thought I was the only one who thought that!
Leeard: Hell no
Ern: Good. I hate when I think someone is hot and no one else does.
Leeard: Jorah- "Until my last breath i will remember." You naked. Is how he was thinking of finishing that sentence.
Ern: Daeny touched Jorah's face. He's gonna be all loopy and useless in the brain now.
Leeard: Brandon and Rickon are alive?!?! I'm shocked. (sarcasm)
Ern (at the exact same time): They're alive!!!!!!! shocker
Ern: I don't like when our brains merge
Leeard: It happens enough that you should be used to it
Ern: I will never get used to it
Leeard: Sounds like a personal problem
Episode grade: B+