Best Late Night Talk Show- The Daily Show, Jon Stewart
I’m not a late night talk show person, but I used to be into politics. Law school ruined that by showing me that both sides are equally wrong, so now I don’t want to play anymore. Still, when I liked political commentary and current events, I used to watch Colbert and Jon Stewart. Stewart is funnier, more likeable, and a better interviewer. Colbert can get loud and annoying, and he interrupts everyone on his show. Stewart wins for me. The other shows? I haven’t seen them. (Leeard shakes her head and mutters for the 1,934,583rd time, “Ern, you’re the worst.”)
Neverending Subplot that Needs to Be Resolved- Who is the mother? How I Met Your Mother
While the on-again-off-again relationships do need to come to a close, we most want to meet the Mother, and we think just about everyone agrees with us. We need to have a season with her. The shows with almost couples should look to Monica and Chandler on Friends. You CAN have a funny, stable relationship that doesn’t ruin the show. In fact, after season five, Monica and Chandler were arguably the only tolerable thing about Friends. They kept it alive. Writers need to figure out how to keep a relationship sweet, funny, romantic, hot, and entertaining after the happily-ever-after. I think the world needs to figure that out too, but one problem at a time.
Most Wrongly Underused Character- Jaime Lannister, Game of Thrones
Again, I understand why he wasn’t on the show that much, but it sucks that his character was sidelined for that whole second book, and thus the second season. He gets awesome, I promise you. And he’s hilarious. The other ones I missed this year were Castiel, Elijah, and Katherine. The Vampire Diaries just has so many great characters. I don’t think Alex Karev, Caroline, and Donna were underused. I didn’t miss Bonnie, Ken, or Tina.
Most Redemptive Character in a Sucky Show- Daryl Dixon, The Walking Dead
First, I eliminated all the shows that are NOT sucky (Grey’s Anatomy, The Vampire Diaries, Once Upon a Time, and, I guess, Supernatural). Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl was eliminated because she’s starting to suck as much as her show, and I’m tired of watching her go off and on with Chuck. I love Leighton Meester though. Coach Beiste and Santana are cool on Glee, but I actually prefer Rachel to both of them. I know, I’m tasteless. I don’t like that Ivy slept with Dev. Ivy sleeps with EVERYONE. I don’t watch SNL. The Walking Dead is full of stereotypical, annoying characters who fully deserve to die by zombies. Daryl is at least interesting sometimes. And don’t try to tell me The Walking Dead isn’t a sucky show. I mean, it’s a good show, but the fact that it could be a GREAT show and continues to choose to be boring with stupid characters offends me more than an actual sucky show.
The Most Disappointing Season of a Previously Awesome Show- Supernatural
I almost picked Dexter for this one, but I was more disappointed by Supernatural because the season was so shockingly bad and the show can be so addictive when it’s on point.
Most Appalling Reality Star- Abby Lee Miller, Dance Moms
Fortunately, I stay away from this scheiste and don’t have to see these people. I have, however, seen Abby on Dance Moms and Tyra Banks from America’s Next Top Model. Abby wins because she dresses little girls up like adult prostitutes and yells at them. Anyone turning sweet, talented kids into a pedo’s wet dream gets my ire. At least the contestants on ANTM knowingly subject themselves to Tyra’s unbearable crazy. I’m so glad I dropped ANTM…
Most Appealing Reality Star- Kari Byron, Mythbusters
I’m not really qualified to pick in this category, since I don’t watch most of these shows. Mythbusters is at least intelligent, for the most part.
Best Bad Ass- Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation
Chuck Bass and Kalinda Sharma are not that badass. What is it with people and Kalinda? For me, it’s between Dean Winchester and Ron Swanson. Now, Dean is hotter, but Ron was on the better show this season. Good TV trumps all. Plus, if I’m anything political these days, it’s libertarian. You have to stick by your brethren. Or almost brethren.
Best Performance by an Inanimate Object- Creepy Dolls, Pretty Little Liars
How do you even judge this? I like all these objects. I have to watch Sherlock, dammit. I’m eliminating the Impala because they hardly even drove it on Supernatural this season. Pretty Little Liars wins because it got the biggest reaction from me. Those dolls were perfect. Honorable mention to Cougar Town and all the stuff on Community. The douchebag jar gets enough attention.
Most Cringeworthy Moment- April, Grey’s Anatomy
I heard about The Office’s Andy janitor moment, and thank God I didn’t see it. Dropping that show was a great decision. The Deb/Dexter thing is the worst, but I don’t remember cringing. Probably just rolling my eyes and yelling. I think I picked Jim Bob Duggar last time, but on second thought, the April thing was worse. I actually physically cringed during April’s test. It was awkward April mixed with a meltdown mixed with a loss of virginity mixed with RELIGION mixed with sweating. In no way could that have been more awkward. Maybe if she had started dancing. That scene stresses me out just thinking about it. Honorable mention to the Glee singing. So wrong.
Worst Candid Reality Show- Keeping Up with the Kardashians
To be fair, I’ve only seen half an episode. It’s just boring. They sit on their phones and computers while someone is filming them. If someone were filming me, I would get off my duff and entertain. I get enough of watching people watch screens at home with my siblings.
Worst payoff- Klaus in season three, The Vampire Diaries
I loved Klaroline, but it seemed like Klaus did nothing after the first half of season three but sit around and make threats. This show is better than that.
Most Deserved Cancellation of the 2011-2012 Season- Work It
All of these shows deserved cancellation. Literally all of them. It’s almost not interesting to pick Work It, but it might have been the worst TV show of all time. Worse than Two and a Half Men even. I would rather watch anything else. Golf. Bad, amateur porn with no hot guys. Teletubbies. Anything.
Most Egregious Product Placement- Disneyland, Modern Family
As funny as it is that people are picking Game of Thrones stuff for this category, I’m gonna take it seriously and pick the most deserving show. There was a whole Disneyland episode, complete with the family members going on rides. It made me want to go. Then again, it’s not hard to make me want to go to Disneyland.