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Friday, September 3, 2010

Characters Most in Need of Being Killed in a Horrible Fashion

Here is our list of characters that should be killed off their show. Whether it’s because we hate them or because they’re just plain useless, our TV screens would be a lot better off without having to show these characters:

  • Aunt Jenna, The Vampire Diaries – Katherine is in the kitchen, chopping Uncle John’s fingers off, and you don’t notice? Horrible, useless guardian.
  • Lauren Tanner, Make it or Break it – Honestly the worst human being on TV right now. I get that she IS the drama for the show, and therefore necessary, I really do. But when you’re HAPPY that a 16 year old girl’s mother died (because the girl kind of deserves that kind of misery)? Lauren Tanner needs to go.
  • Henry and Alice, The Secret Life of the American Teenager – These two serve no purpose, except to tell the audience statistics about teen sex/pregnancy. A pop-up bubble would do the job just as well. Maybe even better.
  • Mona, Pretty Little Liars – She’s mean to Lucas. She can go die.
  • Everyone except Baze (and maybe Ryan), Life Unexpected – Baze is the only reason I’m going to watch this show in the fall. Lux is a whiny, ungrateful child, and Kate is a teenager living in a grown woman’s body. They are both bad people; Baze is too, but at least he can own up to it sometimes. Baze and Ryan both deserve better.
  • Booth’s love interest, Bones – Stop it. Just let them be together already. After five seasons of will they/won’t they, we’re all sick of it. Give the audience two years of Booth and Bones being happy together and then end the show.
  • Kate, White Collar – Oh wait, they did kill her off! Thank goodness!
  • Derek, Grey’s Anatomy – I know many people would scream over this, but it the idea of Derek dying has its merits. What a whiner! And you can’t say it hasn’t been foreshadowed (premiere of season 5). And with most of our star players coupled up, it would free up the center of the show, Meredith Grey, to get back into the game. She took a back seat last season. Grey’s Anatomy was at its best before she was tied down. Bring back the drama.
  • Vanessa, Gossip Girl – Time spent on Vanessa is wasted. We have a more interesting “nice girl,” Serena.
  • Lily, How I Met Your Mother – No one should really die on this show. That’s not its tone. But if we were to pick a main character to snuff it, it would be her. Sometimes she is weird and sometimes she is a spoiled brat. The others are easier to describe. Her characterization is weak. And since they got rid of her cute red hair after season one, she looks fake.
  • Artie, Glee – He’s boring. Well, maybe HE isn't boring, but his episodes and stories are. Every episode with him as a focus is a bummer. Plus, they give him lame songs. We can't even tell if he can sing.
  • Kenny, South Park – Why did they stop killing him? That was a great gag. I miss it.

We’re not doing any reality shows because, well, that would be mean.

Kara DioGuardi is leaving American Idol

The only judge from last year we will have now is useless RANDY.

A lot of people didn't like Kara, calling her shrill, but she always had worthwhile advice and comments. She was a songwriter, knew the industry, and brought information to the judging table. She wasn't the meanest, nicest, or funniest, but she wasn't the worst (cough, Randy). She was smart and great-looking for her age. Rumors that she was leaving have been circulating long before now. With three old judges down, who will they get to judge the show now?

True Blood: Should you watch the TV show or read the books?

We've read the first book and a little of the second, and we are surprised to find that, in this case, the book is not better than the live version. The show does not subtract elements from the books’ main plotlines, but adds plotlines and makes the characters more interesting. The writing was merely adequate.

The first book was VERY close to the TV series, even in the dialogue. The most significant changes occurred at the end. Eric, not Bill, kills Longshadow to save Sookie, and Bill does not go out in the daylight to rescue her.

Pros to the books:
-More books are out, so if you are eager to know what happens, you don’t have to wait.
-(Possible pro, depending on you) The books are cleaner, because they are all from Sookie’s point-of-view, and she doesn’t see things like Jason’s trysts.
-Sookie’s narration reflects her cute personality. It is sunny, matter-of-fact, and enjoyable. You like the main character more in the books.
-Jason is less annoying
-They are quick, easy reads.

Cons to the books:
-The TV series has more flavor and style.
-The TV series is more fun.
-The cast of characters is more diverse and fringe characters are central in the TV series.
-The TV series is funnier.
-HBO quality and creativity
-Bill is less appealing

We plan to only watch the show until it goes off the air. If we miss the storyline, we will then turn to the books to see what happens. But by then, the changes HBO makes might make the characters unrecognizable.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Dancing with the Stars Cast Reveal: Ten Bold Predictions (and Two to Take to the Bank)

The cast announcement for the new season of Dancing with the Stars was made last night, so here are some of our thoughts about/predictions for the upcoming season:

· Florence Henderson will be an unfunny, less bump-and-grinding version of Cloris Leachman.

· Margaret Cho will be a younger, more bump-and-grinding version of Cloris Leachman.

· If she ever feels like she’s in danger of going home, Jennifer Grey will pull out the big guns: either dancing to “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life” or The Lift from the end of the movie. Or both. Please let it be both.

· Kyle Massey will go home first.

· The Hoff will be way less horrifying than people are anticipating.

· Michael Bolton will dance to one of his own songs the first week.

· Brandy will have the best interview responses.

· Rick Fox will surprise everyone with how good he is (if the power of Eliza Dushku can overtake Vanessa Williams).

· Audrina Patridge will be awesomely bad. And Justin Bobby will make an appearance. Hey, a girl can dream, right?

· Kurt Warner will be the nicest person in the cast. No joking here, he seems like a really great person. Plus, it goes against my nature to make fun of a Super Bowl MVP.

· Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino will show his abs in at least 95% of his dances.

· Bristol Palin, and her partner Mark Ballas, will be my favorites. Judge all you want, but it’s going to happen.

Weeds- A Yippity Sippity: Not the best or funniest episode, but it’s still Weeds.

This one was a filler, so I’m anxious for more.

Episode 3 of season 6 finds our “heroes” getting jobs at a hotel to start their new, normal lives away from drugs, cops, and suburbia. I love this show. It’s easy to watch, and it never wears out its welcome. Whenever the credits roll, I’m always shocked and angered. The show is not afraid to change locations, follow crazy plotlines, play up its formulas, and completely change in everything but tone and main characters. The breezy tones and scrappy antiheroes keep this show fun and fresh.

Nancy is now a maid, Silas is a bellhop, and Andy is a dishwasher. Psycho kid Shane gets to babysit Esteban’s adorable seed (the only baby who never really seems to cry). The show managed to make even these mundane jobs entertaining. Silas had to read naked to a hotel guest who tipped well (“Is it gay?” “Not if he’s paying you for it. Or if it’s underwater”). Nancy had to clean up after what looked like a typical college party, and then she had to clean up after a kinky sex act (at least that one left a tip. “Dear maid: You know I like paying women for dirty jobs”). Shane, predictably, stole a stroller. Andy fought with his boss. Silas has the best job, even with the creep factor. Who can blame the creepo? Silas is getting hot as he ages.

Nancy has a new wig that makes her look younger and edges up her wholesome face. I like it. Silas wondered what his life would have been like if Nancy had given up their upper-crust lifestyle, worked at the GAP, and never sold drugs. This is something I’ve been wondering since this show’s inception. Shane maintained that he still would have killed someone.

In the end, Nancy and Co. got back to their roots. Weeds. Well, hash this time. But the hotel needs marijuana, and Nancy is great at making that work. I like her quirky new suppliers too.

Nancy’s portrayer, Mary Louise Parker, says that people send her marijuana all the time as a result of her work in “Weeds.” She has never used it, missing out in her youth and feeling too old to take it up now. “I’m a mom.” Mary, that never stopped Nancy….

Monday, August 30, 2010

True Blood: Fresh Blood. An episode as ho-hum as its title- Why do we still watch? And should non-watchers go for the books or the show?

*Some spoilers follow* Why do True Blood watchers follow the show? Is it to be titillated, either on a romantic or sexual level? Is it the twists? The slick HBO production? The funny gore? The fact that both guys and girls seem to like it? I’m still watching, but I’m not sure why. I’m not into the Sookie/Bill romance that many find so sweet. I’m not ready to give up the show because of one dull season. Overall, I really like True Blood.

My current reasons to watch? Eric and Tara. Tara represents the show’s assertion that even weak characters who continually reach the bottom can rise up and defend themselves and their loved ones. Eric is just super hot. My only beef with him is that he delivers all of his lines in a whisper. When was the last time you had an entire conversation in a room alone with another person where you whispered the whole thing? I’m also a Sam fan. Except for this new, drunk Sam. I don't like that.

This season started out slow for me. The characters were separated, the show went for shock factor (which is fine, because it’s True Blood, as long as there is a suspenseful plot going with it), and it took forever for something to happen. This show is based on a book series and each season covers one book. I wonder if the show would be better if it covered two books per season, amping up the pace. Last season, the Maryann storyline dragged. First season sucked me in and didn’t let go. Second season was so crazy (and funny)that I couldn’t look away. But third season? Seemed like a lot of intro to an actual event that hasn’t yet happened, and apparently it’s all happening now, but if you yawn, you’ll miss it.

I’m getting tired of waiting for revelations. And for Eric and Sookie to hook up. Some of the events might also be best left to the imagination. I think many of the vampires would be creepier or hotter if I could think them up myself. For every incredible visual interpretation of an event on the show, there is one that is lacking. This is why I bought the first Sookie Stackhouse book. I am going to read them and see if I should skip the TV series in the future and just read the books. I’ll let you know how it goes.

As far as Eric vs. Bill? The bloggers are split. Ern thinks Eric is much hotter and better for Sookie, but Leeard thinks Bill should be with Sookie in the long run.

Comments on this episode:
-Jason’s new squeeze, Crystal, finally won me over. I like Jason’s plotline this season.
-Like the new Wiccan, and I was surprised Arlene’s abortion didn’t work. Poor Terry is such a nice guy
-Can we make the cheerleader who was annoyed at her football-playing boyfriend a regular?
-Jessica and Hoyt may have the most honest, mature relationship. That his mom is trying to ruin with that hilarious nitwit she sent.
-I welcome the return of crazy voo doo to the show in the form of Jesus. Or his grandpa. Or drugs. What IS going on with that?
-Sam and Tara. Been there, seen that.

The finale is in two weeks, and it had better rock. The buildup does not have me on the edge of my seat.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

2010 Emmy Awards

I’ve never been that interested in the Emmy Awards, but we would be remiss as TV bloggers if we ignored them completely.

A few thoughts:

· Loved actors Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul winning for Breaking Bad, especially because Cranston beat Mad Men’s Jon Hamm, who is very good looking, but not a great actor. My second choice for Outstanding Actor in a Drama after Cranston would have been Matthew Fox, who played Jack in LOST. LOST’s entire cast was pretty perfect (with the exception of Jacob, Allison Janney, and those child actors in the “young Jacob” episode).
· Sadly, Aaron Paul’s Emmy came at the expense of LOST’s Terry O’Quinn and Michael Emerson who created the most fascinating characters on that show. But they have already had ample recognition for their work, so I will get over it. (Also, they didn't really deserve it this season)
· Jim Parsons beating Tony Shalhoub and Alec Baldwin for Lead Actor in a Comedy? Amazing. Easily the most deserving in that category, and it's just a miracle that someone finally took out the juggernaut that is Jack Donaghy. Bazinga!

· Edie Falco (Nurse Jackie) does a good job in her deadpan, long-suffering role, but Lea Michele, Toni Collete, and Amy Poehler deserved it more. On her show The United States of Tara, Collete does everything Falco does, but after that, she plays several more characters all sharing one body. Michele sings, dances, and looks gorgeous, but still manages to make us feel sorry for her character. And Poehler makes everything she touches turn to gold.

· Jane Lynch’s perfect line delivery as Glee’s evil Sue Sylvester was recognized. Predictable, but still sweet. Time for us to forgive Sue for the “Physical” music video remake that just wasted our lives.

· Mad Men over LOST for best drama? After six years of mystery, emotion, and geekiness, LOST deserved to beat the stylish male success fantasy that is Mad Men. On the other hand, LOST might deserve to win an award based on all six seasons, but that's not what the Emmy Awards are about. As stand-alone seasons, season three of Mad Men pretty handily beats LOST's swan song.
No, any single minute of LOST is better than any season of Mad Men.
But that's not true.
It really is. Mad Men is stupid. LOST is epic, heartwarming, groundbreaking, nerdy, spiritual, and wonderful. MAD MEN IS DEAD INSIDE.
This is what happens when your blog has two writers, haha.