Glee, The Office, The Vampire Diaries, and Grey's Anatomy finales

• Glee: Dull, mostly lame songs, a Wemma wedding no one cares about, and no death of an annoying character. We have to wait to find out what happens with Blaine's proposal and Rachel's audition, the only two things we care about. Catfish's identity was super predictable, as was Ryder's reaction. Episode grade C-. Season grade B-
• The Office: This was the big one, and it was very nearly perfect. Michael came back and has kids, Dwight is married and in love, Pam and Jim ended things perfectly, Erin found her parents, Creed was finally brought to justice, Nelly got a baby, Ryan and Kelly got what they deserved, and we finally got to see Mose talk! We didn't know he could. This show should have ended three years ago, but this finale was perfect. Seasons 6-8 were terrible, but season 9 as a whole was watchable. Episode grade A. Season grade: B
• The Vampire Diaries: This season drained our will to even watch this show. We're so glad the sire bond is gone and Elena and Damon are together by choice. We are also glad that Elena didn't take the cure. It's good that Bonnie died because now there is no one around to magic the cast out of every single problem they face. Knowing this show, they will bring her back. The finale was pretty good, but the season as a whole was a disappointment. Episode grade B. Season Grade C
• Grey's Anatomy: Arizona whyyyyy. We like that it wasn't just about lust and that the show brought the affair back to the leg trauma. Just when you think things are buried... We kind of hope the Chief is dead. His character has run its course and the cast is too huge. LOVED April telling Jackson she wanted him, even after Matt's cute/dorky proposal. We're so glad that Meredith and her baby are healthy. We always knew they would be. Meredith has been through so much on this show that even Shonda knows it would be ridiculous to hurt her like that. Owen and Cristina are broken up...again. They do this every season, so we're not buying it. You don't spend four seasons on a couple if they aren't endgame (unless a cast member is leaving, like Callie, Izzie, George, Burke, etc). Episode grade B+. Season grade B.

Grey's Anatomy season 9, episodes 17-22

The hospital has a new name! We will always think of it as Seattle Grace. Not Seattle Grace Mercy West. We guess the Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital is better than SGMW anyway. Jackson has been running the hospital since we last stopped in. It was lame of the other doctors to constantly outvote and disrespect him, but he got it all under control eventually.

Grey's Anatomy- Season 9, Episodes 11-16

Don't you love when we don't blog about a show for more than five episodes and then we freak out and hastily write an overlong reaction post to everything? Yeah, we don't either, so we're gonna do that less from now on. In episode 11, AGES ago, Derek and Meredith wake up happy one morning. Meredith is happy that the case will finally be over, and Derek is happy that it's the end of Meredith's first trimester and she can finally tell Cristina about her pregnancy.

Scandal, Season 2, episode 10, and Grey's Anatomy, Season 9, episode 10

Scandal: One for the Dog- Hot President is awake!! We knew the way things were going, with Sally threatening Mellie that the episode would end with Grant opening his eyes. He's going to be so angry when he finds out what his wife and aides did. This show is like The West Wing, only everyone's a liar and there's more sex. Grant should fire all these people. Even Olivia is just the worst person. We love it.

It's getting to where we've seen so many people tortured in entertainment that it doesn't even bother us anymore. How awful is that? We remember squirming watching 24 a decade ago, and now we just keep doing our hair and watching Huck get beaten and waterboarded out of the corner of our eyes. It wasn't a tame torture for TV either. It was pretty bad. The whole thing made us like David more though.

Grey's Anatomy- season 9, episodes 8-9

photo by Alan Light [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

We liked Neve Campbell guest starring as yet another of Derek's sisters. She's direct, smart, and honest.  We loved her calling out Meredith on being a selfish, distant family member who doesn't come to visit and doesn't seek relationships with her relatives. It really is weird. We get that Meredith didn't have a cozy family life growing up, but she needs to not let her crummy family make her pre-judge her new one. Neve looks like she could be related to Stephen King or Rob Lowe.

Grey's Anatomy- I Was Made for Lovin' You

Angela George [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

The lawsuit plot line is driving us (okay, Ern) crazy. The hospital should not be sued. How is this even a case? We're not lawyers, but it seems weird to us. The attorneys defending the hospital should have a field day. So, that airline was so dangerous that Dr. Hunt should have been aware not to use them? Then why are they even in the air? Why not sue the government officials who let them stay in business if they are SO BAD that some random doctor should have known not to let people fly on them? Oh, but he should have done the research you say? Still. That's a comparatively low amount of fault, wouldn't you say? How much money is "failure to research an already regulated business" worth? Not much. It's not Dr. Hunt's job to make sure airplane's are safe enough for people to use. It's not his duty. Think of your boss (or yourself or any business owner you know): before he or she puts an employee on a plane, does he research the safety record of the airline?

The only way this plotline would work is if the show tells us that it is normal for most chief of surgeries to investigate airline safety. We think any reasonable guy in his position (which is the standard by which he will be measured) would trust that the FAA wouldn't be letting people fly on this airline unless it were safe. That if the airline was in business, it's not negligent to PUT PEOPLE ON IT. It's a heavily regulated industry with few crashes. In order to sue someone for not doing something, it had to be his job to do it. It wasn't. It was the FAA's and the airline's job to check the safety. Those hack plaintiff's attorneys said that the best people to sue would be the hospital's leaders? We can think of so many other parties who would be much better targets. The safety testers, manufacturers, the airline, the government.... Yeah, this is great for drama and Owen angst, but if the show were going to go here, it needed to create a tighter case.

AND THAT'S WHY ONE OF OUR FAVORITE TV COUPLES IS GETTING DIVORCED?

Sidenotes:

• April....you're not nice.
• Arizona, yes finally yes yes yes. Off the floor and back, laughing and being cool again. Woo hoo.
• We hope Meredith doesn't miscarry. She's already miscarried on this show before. We want nice things to happen to her. The pregnancy was a pleasant surprise we should have seen coming.
• Way to be self-destructive, Owen. Go back to therapy.
• Bailey needs to die now.
• The liver patient touched our hearts.
• What happened to ass-grabbing guy?
• Mr. Feeny helped Cristina's heart grow three sizes! And she wants Owen back!
• We love Tina with the chairs, haha.

This is reeeeeal late, but here it is: Glee, Parks, Grey's, Scandal, TVD

Parks and Recreation- Leslie vs. April
We were disappointed in Leslie this week for opposing April, but it led to funny things, and it's understandable that Leslie is still attached to that empty lot. The opening Joe Biden scene was awkward to us instead of funny, but Joe did a good job and it was a cute cameo. We're liking all the famous politicians popping up this season. It's always tasteful to make a fun, brief appearance on a critically acclaimed show. Andy got a security job? That is so much better than having that guy be an actual cop. Hoo boy. There were some fun lines about accounting, and we feel bad for the firm that keeps trying to hire Ben. It's best to have him out of there though for the sake of the show. Orin stole the episode with his Human Farm. We love him so much. He's used just enough though. Too much Orin would be bad.
Episode grade: B

Glee- Glease
We both hate and love that episode title. It was inevitable that Glee would do an entire Grease-themed episode with all the numbers exact copies of the scenes from the movie, so if you didn't like it, just rejoice that it's over and we can all move on. We thought it was okay. We didn't want to buy any of the songs since we've had the movie soundtrack since we were kids. We're glad Santana replaced Unique as Rizzo, but that's just going to prompt more Unique storylines as she tries to climb her way back into accepted exposure. We were so happy to see Rachel and Kurt after missing them last week. The show keeps repeating itself. We saw Rachel trying to throw up in season one, and now Marley tries it this season. Marley is adorable, but she was a little pathetic and dumb this week. She just needed to get a scale to see if she was actually gaining weight. You can't gain two inches in less than a week. It was obviously the clothes/a prank. Kate Hudson's character is evil, but we liked that development.
Episode grade: B-

Grey's Anatomy- Second Opinion
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. Not only are Arizona's attitude and mobility improving, but Cristina is back for good! It wasn't a visit. She gets to do whatever she wants in the OR, and she's a pretty good teacher too. Cristina finding out that Owen fought hard to get her back had to make him want to die. This guy has really suffered for that one night stand. We're pretty sure Cristina will make him suffer a little longer too. At least for the rest of the season. We're getting sick of the drama with April and Jackson. April, just accept that you're in a sexual relationship or actually get out of it. We like the idea of Kate and Alex together. The big twist at the end was that the crash victims would be suing Seattle Grace and the "people who put them on that plane" --Owen. How does that work? Was the hospital negligent in plane selection or something. We're going to need to hear some details on that case, because it doesn't sound like the hospital is the best party to go after at all.
Episode grade: B+

Scandal- Spies Like Us
The case of the week was so interesting that we're not even going to complain at length about Hot President still being at the summit. We finally got some background on Huck, former spy. His colleagues were perfectly cast and assembled. THAT'S how spies would look. They wouldn't look like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. They would blend in. We felt bad for David Rosen, but we'll never feel bad for Abby. Olivia ended the episode closer to her ex than ever before. The president is going to get all broody over that, and we can't wait to see it. There's no sophomore slump for this show. 
Episode grade: A-

The Vampire Diaries- We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes
It's time for the show to move on from "Elena feels guilty" as the central conflict. We can't stay in that place for one more episode. We liked the hallucinations so that she actually had a reason to act all crazy and sad, but after this episode, a new problem needs to become more immediate. We're mad that Katherine wasn't real. The bulk of this episode was boring and filler. Klaus skulked around, killed a wolf, threatened Caroline (how dare he?!!), and tried to keep Elena safe. The best part was the end where Jeremy was awakened to his new purpose. That could lead to something a lot better than us watching Compassionate Elena cry over not being perfect. Boo frickety hoo. Let's get on with it. We want Man vs. Man, not Man vs. Himself.
Episode grade: B-

Glee focuses on Finn too much, Parks and Recreation gets going, Grey's Anatomy does the unthinkable, Scandal gives us a whole hour without Hot President, and The Vampire Diaries mishandles Elena

By http://www.flickr.com/photos/gageskidmore/ [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Glee- The Role You Were Born to Play
Good things about this episode: Blake's appearance as Rider, Kitty's singing voice, and Mercedes coming back. Bad things: They wasted Mercedes on a boring song, Kitty is still a copy of Quinn and Sue mixed, all the Finn stuff played out like a bad after-school special, Unique is Rizzo instead of Kitty, Marley is getting to be a bland character (at least Rachel had ambition), no Rachel, no Kurt, no New York, we're not sure "weird, nice guy" is the best choice for Blake's character (since we already have Sam and we were looking forward to seeing him be the mean boy), and Finn is sticking around to coach the Glee club. Can we nominate anyone else? Quinn would have been a great sub! She's actually deep and intelligent. We didn't want any of the songs, but we liked Blaine's Hopelessly Devoted to You, and we also enjoyed Everybody Talks as a male/female duet.
Episode grade: C+

Parks and Recreation- Ben's Parents
Breaking Bad's Jonathan Banks (Mike) did a great job as Ben's crotchety dad. Ulani was pretty hilarious too. Ben's storyline made Ern think of her own parents, who are similar and don't enjoy sharing room space. There aren't enough unity quilts in the world... That's why we loved when Ben said, "Well, if there's anyone who can bring my parents together it's...NO ONE. No one can ever bring them together." Everyone else's storylines were good too. There wasn't a single stinker. Tom ditching Jean Ralphio was long overdue.

We've been wanting Ann and Chris to get back together for a long time, but he has to go through some stuff, and Ann has to become more independent and self-possessed. These things are happening! Did you guys know the guy playing Chris is 48 though? Holy moly, he looks good. Rashida Jones is 36. So does it work with the formula? (A man can date a woman if her age is at least "half his age plus 8.") That means he can date a 32-year-old without shame, so Ann is in! Yay. Also, Twizzlers are much better than Red Vines. The season slump is over! Ben and April are home!
Episode grade: A-

Grey's Anatomy- Beautiful Doom
They. Killed. Feeny. WHAT?! We actually teared up. Thank God Cristina could get on a plane. Your only friend is dead, Cristina, come hoooome. Come home for good. Has she? Please? We loved Meredith saving Melissa's life. Meredith is one of the most genuinely likable and compassionate TV characters now. We can't believe we wanted her dead in season three's ferry crash. Since she's not all flaky and tortured anymore, she's mature and no longer annoying. We liked her in seasons one and two, but in season three, she and Derek broke up for no reason. Then it took all of season four for Meredith to get her stuff together. Our favorite line was, "Who's letting her have gummy worms?!!...Doesn't matter."
Episode grade: B+

Scandal- All Roads Lead to Fitz
We got more information on the conspiracy. It includes tons of people, including the first lady and Cyrus. There's something to do with election rigging abilities. It's all surprisingly interesting. So Fitz wasn't really elected? He lost by less than 5,000 votes, and this week's murderer should have been president instead? That's what it looks like, but on this show, things aren't always what they seem. Clearly, the right guy is in office, because the governor is so obsessed with power and success that he literally doesn't want to live without them.

Abby is majorly betraying Olivia. The case of the week was entertaining, but we don't think that would fall under attorney/client privilege. She wasn't acting as his attorney, was she? She was acting as a fixer. That's arguable. She might be able to sneak it through. We knew the wife was having an affair the entire time, but we didn't know the husband knew until near the end. We missed Fitz, but we enjoyed so much forward-movement in this season's major arc.
Episode grade: B

The Vampire Diaries- The Killer
There were a lot of good things about this episode. First, we liked that Connor is dead and we love that Elena killed him. It was so bad ass and everything we've wanted to see from this character. It's a pity the episode ruined it right afterward. Plenty of characters have killed on this show, and while we like remorse, total crying breakdowns are annoying and sort of sexist. Only...Caroline is a good person too, and she didn't react like this. It makes sense for Elena to pause, look sad, and take a deep, mournful breath, but all of this drama? Bleck. We LIKE Elena and don't think she's a damsel. If you hate her, we feel your pain this week.

It's getting lame how much the show has to emphasize Elena's compassion. We know it's part of her character, but you wouldn't see this kind of reaction from any of the guys on this show. Why is a guy's primary character trait never "compassion"? Elena couldn't have her kick-ass moment even though it was self-defense. The show had to immediately turn her into a crying puddle again. Now, she hallucinates too! Of course, she still can't wipe her mouth, even though she can bury a guy.

We're interested in what's going on with Professor Shane and Bonnie. He's clearly against her friends, but he's helping her and has control over Bonnie's unconscious mind now. That's going to come back to bite her. This episode was extremely gory, and we liked it. Especially the whole in the one hybrid's chest! We loved Haley telling Caroline, "I don't do teen drama." Where is the show going with her and how long is she staying? Now the town has underground tunnels. Could be useful. Overall, this was a decent episode that Elena tried to ruin by losing it.
Episode grade: B

Late-in-the-week dramas- Grey's, Scandal, Supernatural, TVD, and Arrow. None were Halloween themed. :-(

By lukeford.net [CC-BY-SA-2.5 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons

Grey's Anatomy- I Saw Her Standing There
Cristina sleeping with her boss made us so sad. Even though there's been an abortion, cheating, choking, and moving far away, we hadn't really accepted that she and Owen were over. We don't like when marriages break up, even if they are fictional. (You should have seen Ern's tumblr after Amy Poehler and Will Arnett broke up.) We still think C/O will get back together after a while. Cristina sticking up for Dr. Feeny and helping him was one of the best things about this episode. We love when she shows her heart and loyalty to her friends. Age discrimination sucks. We understand that continuing education in medicine is important, but he hadn't made a mistake yet. We love them as best friends.

When she leaves the hospital to go back to Seattle Grace (something that MUST happen), can she take Feeny with her? Cristina's time at the Mayo Clinic has been way more entertaining and relevant than we could ever have imagined, but it needs to end eventually. After everything this show has done with penises, we didn't even blink at the nut elephantiasis. Arizona's prosthetics fitter is just the thing she needed. Tough love from someone who is not her wife or Alex is going to be good for her. We hope to see more of him. It's time for her to crawl out of that anger hole she's sitting in. Avery and April are still happening. Owen is in a dark place again. We know this because a) he moved into Derek's trailer and b) he's Owen.
Episode grade: A-

Scandal- Beltway Unbuckled
Ugh. We hated Fitz giving up on Olivia. We, like her, thought it would be a good thing. We've been rooting for him to give Mellie another chance, even though she's horrible. Now, we realized we were wrong. We chuckled when Mellie told the president that he was still having wet dreams about Olivia Pope. Yeah...we'd kick him out of bed too. The Jenny case reminded us of something we've been seeing on tumblr: lack of sympathy over a death when the girl was a slut. Fortunately, people still wanted justice, even though Jenny enjoyed sex with powerful men. Does that mean the only thing people hate more than sluts are foreigner's. Possible.

The storyline where Abby is turning on Olivia, falling in love with David, and helping him with his Beautiful Mind wall is fantastic. It could go anywhere, and it could get rid of a normally useless, judgmental character we hate (Abby). It looks like the baddies are going to be Big Oil. Snooze. How typical. We bet all these writers use oil in their daily lives. Oil companies aren't heroes or anything, but demonizing them is hypocritical. We all profit from that. Huck is five seconds from becoming a full-on Dexter Morgan. He's gonna need to give that six-month chip back. Can this end well?
Episode grade: B-

The Vampire Diaries- The Rager
We love hateful, rage-filled Elena. When she vamped out at Rebekah in the bathroom in the beginning, we were so pleased. Nina has a good monster face. It's still cute, but it gets the job done. We still think Caroline should train Elena, but Damon is the next best choice. Stefan doesn't know what he's doing. He's the worst at handling being a vampire. We'd rather be Damon than a ripper, just sayin'. Stefan can't even lighten up without risking major backsliding. So Tyler cheated on Caroline, huh? Not a surprise. Klaroline shippers, rejoice!

One of us has never liked Tyler. Never ever. Klaus is a much better option. He can take the Caroline character arc to more interesting places. We don't blame Tyler. It would be hard for a guy to pass up Phoebe Tonkin. We hated the fake out where Rebekah pulled Matt's heart out. Why would they make us watch that? Not cool, show. We love hottie Matt. The ships are everywhere this week. Matt and Elena met at their old makeout spot, there was tenderness between Caroline and Stefan, Klaus fed Elena, and Meredith has to end up with someone now that Alaric is dead, right?
Episode grade: B+

Arrow- Lone Gunmen
This show needs to do something more serialized, quick. We aren't digging the superhero revenge procedural. We keep wishing this show were about Oliver's more interesting best friend. We're glad Tommy and Laurel made it official. We meet and then say goodbye to a frenemy, Deadshot, who is also killing evil, rich people, but Oliver doesn't want help. The police bumble around again, finding and doing nothing. Some parents really don't know that kids crave discipline and structure. They may be yelling at you and whining, but deep down inside, they feel safe and loved when you enforce rules. Maybe Thea can stop being an a**hole now. We're not holding our breath. HOW DOES OLIVER SPEAK RUSSIAN?!! The best thing about this episode was Dig finding out Oliver's secret. We were mostly bored during this hour though. We only want to see island stuff if it's going to be more interesting than this week's.
Episode grade: C+

Supernatural- Bitten
The found-footage episode they've been teasing was pretty fun. We liked seeing Sam and Dean as side characters, cropping up randomly and being themselves. We loved the kids spying on the brothers and commenting ("awesome"). They thought Sam and Dean were a couple too, tee hee. This episode reminded us of the excellent, smart, and entertaining movie, Chronicle, which you must see if you haven't. The movie was better than this episode, but this was one of the more entertaining Supernatural episodes in recent memory. We're glad Sam and Dean got to show a little mercy, for once. We call shenanigans on the fact that Brian was perfectly hot and could totally have gotten laid. One of our major pet peeves with TV is that nerds and losers are usually adorable and would be cool in real life. Give us real geeks! We're still liking this season a lot more than the last one.
Episode grade: B

Grey's Anatomy makes us chuckle again, Scandal tricks us, and Parks and Rec still needs to get everyone back to Pawnee

By lukeford.net [CC-BY-SA-2.5 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons

Grey's Anatomy- Love the One You're With
Finally, there was a little levity this season. Funny lines in the first half included, "When Hunt appeared to you, was he glowing at all?" Also, the Callie/Alex conversation: "Stop sleeping with your coworkers, it ruins them." "I slept with you." "And now I no longer sleep with men." Then Avery and Meredith won all the comedy awards with their talk about how the chief banged both their moms. This is the Grey's we love. April looks prettier this year. We are ready to like her. Hopefully the show will let us by not making her painfully annoying this year. Aaaand then, right after we type that, April says she's going to be re-virginized. THAT'S NOT A THING. Bone that stupidity out of her, Avery. We don't know about the show having a legal aspect now that they didn't take the settlement. It could be interesting and dramatic though.

This is not Arizona! Bring her real personality back. We liked that Callie's patient made her realize that Arizona needed Callie to be the bad guy, so Callie stood up to her wife. We feel like this storyline is unbelievable as far as the way it's handling Arizona's reaction to losing her leg. This is how Derek, Cristina, and other morose characters would handle this, not Arizona, right? We like Callie's patient's nasty leg. We also like that the new intern is being developed more. For a while, it seemed like cool Bailey was back, but then she started whining about her personal life and lack of life challenges. Maybe it will lead to actual good storylines for her though. We loved the sticky notes. All Cristina needed to smile and bond with her co-workers was Mr. Feeny. Awww. We love him.
Episode grade: A-

Scandal- Hunting Season
Abby and David hooked up! Finally, she's good for something other than being self-righteous. The idea of the government watching us through our laptops is so creepy. You know what they would see a lot of from American citizens, especially guys? Hint: Porn. Okay, we'll just tell you. Masturbation. That's right, teenage boys, Obama is watching you gander and 'bate. The president was a little Edward Cullen-y in this episode, and we didn't like it. Forceful, jealous, possessive, and irrational. We're glad Olivia told him where to stick it. (We're dirty birds today, aren't we?) Artie fooled us as much as he did the Pope team. Mellie is a Disney villain. Blow you away? Ha. We get it show, we're supposed to root for Olivia because Fitz's wife is a politically ambitious shrew. They don't need to go that far with it. We're glad the show has kept the Disney Channel intern of David's around. She's funny. Here's hoping she passes the bar next time she takes it.
Episode grade: B-

Parks and Recreation- Sex Education
"Perd-verts" was a good joke. We think the religious fundamentalist couple is pretty funny too. Kind of cliche to have the husband be a closeted gay, but it's a cliche because the joke works. Though it kind of implies that in order for a man to wait until marriage to have sex, he has to be gay, and that's not true. We couldn't laugh at Tom's plotline too much because we're pretty much just like him as far as tech use goes. April is the best thing about the DC plotline. The plotline that needs to end, now. This episode was better than the premiere, but it wasn't season 2-4 material, and it wasn't better than last week.
Episode grade: B+

Grey's Anatomy- Remember the Time

By The Heart Truth (The Heart Truth Fashion Show 2008) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

What happened: We go back to the day the survivors of the plane crash were found. They were in the woods for four days. Meredith is the healthiest and recovers quickly. Bailey and Richard show up to Idaho to sedate the injured doctors and fly them back to Seattle. They bring Zola, which helps Meredith emotionally. We find out that Mark had a surge of energy that kept him alive enough to make instructions, say his goodbyes, and reflect on what's really important in life.

Cristina is psychotic and mute. She has to be restrained because she keeps attacking doctors. Fortunately, Owen is able to calm her down, take her home, and care for her. She tells him what happened in the woods. Bugs tried to get in Arizona's legs and animals fought over Lexie's body. Cristina didn't sleep all four days and Mark kept trying to die on her, which was "annoying." When Cristina gets her mind back, she runs off to Minnesota, despite Owen and Meredith's protests.

Derek's hand recovers to 80% function and Callie does a risky operation on him in an attempt to get it back to full usefulness. Arizona's leg is in bad shape, but she makes Callie promise to save it. When Arizona crashes, the doctors realize the leg has to go. Alex cuts it off. Callie takes the blame because Arizona already hates and blames Alex for her pain (because he should have been on the plane).

What we thought: And the hits just keep on coming. We're glad this wasn't the premiere. It was too dark. Still, it was well-constructed and didn't seem silly or melodramatic like last week. We haaate when Cristina goes nuts. That girl is not good after a tragedy. She's great during one though.

From her reaction, we thought Cristina had been attacked by zombies or something.  It was great when she threw the flower vase at the mean interns. Cristina's description of the four days made us realize it really was that horrible. Animals fighting over Lexie?!! So freaking sad.

Owen taking care of Cristina was pretty sweet, but it obviously wasn't enough to make up for the cheating, since she ended up moving. Guys, take note. It takes a lot to fix that. He was really reasonable with the Arizona situation too.

We're liking Owen a lot more this season. It seems like he's got it together and is making the wise decisions even when he knows he's not going to get anything out of it. Nobody is going to like him or stay married to him, but he plods along. Cristina is brilliant for leaving. Seattle Grace Mercy West is a death pit.

Nice LOST reference by Bailey in the beginning. Meredith asking about Lexie almost got us crying again. Mark's death was sadder in this episode than last episode. We love The Surge. The Surge is a gift. Surprisingly, Derek handled his bum hand with a good attitude. For once. 

We liked Derek trying to move on to Harvard and resigning himself to a life of teaching and advising. We loved him taking the risk with Callie. Callie is the new Cristina and Bailey all wrapped up into one. We could not love her more right now.

Arizona said awful things to Karev. How can people just vent like that? We guess she was devastated, but MAN. He doesn't deserve it. One day, he's just going to crumble beneath all his guilt. The leg plotline is riveting. There was one good joke (Chunky Stu), and the end with the phone calls was perfect.

We still like this show. It's just time to table the end-of-season tragedies for a couple of years. It's getting ridiculous. It's happy ending time this season, Grey's. Like in seasons four and five.

Episode grade: B

Grey's Anatomy- Going Going Gone

By angela n. / aon [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

To quote the great movie Mean Girls, this is ass you guys. This is horrifying and way too depressing. It was almost comically depressing, like a farce. Some showrunners just want to watch the world burn.

Things that suck:

• Cristina left?!! NOOO. Bring her back immediately. (Although it’s nice to see Mr. Feeny and we liked the scene where her boss pointed out that she wasn’t as success on his yardstick. She’ll be back soon.)
• Mark dying and the show acting like he’s this tragic character and not shallow, comic relief. We’re supposed to cry over this guy? We guess we are. Since we did.
• Karev doesn’t work there anymore? This is crap! What has this show done to itself in the name of trying to be realistic? It was never realistic before! We liked that! (Yeah, he ended up staying to “replace Robbins,” but by then we were so annoyed with the situation and the skyping that we couldn’t even be happy.)
• Dr. Wilson is the new George. We still miss George.
• Arizona’s leg and subsequent funk. She’s our favorite TV lesbian, bar none. She doesn’t deserve this! It took the entire episode for us to know whether she was alive or dead. That is not okay.
• Nothing is the same except for Bailey still having unrealistic sex with that nurse. Booty Call Bailey? How far the mighty have fallen. A travesty. She used to be the best character. Now, she’s the worst.
• At least we have April back. Yay? We were all excited that Hunt was going to see Cristina, and then he shows up at April’s dad’s farm.
• Emo Derek is back. Now with new kicking abilities! Guess who missed him? No one.
• Of course Alex Karev has survivor’s guilt. Because Alex Karev always needs more guilt.
• There was no reason for the plane crash.
• This show is ludicrous.
• This show is melodramatic.
• The death rate on this show is ridiculous.
• We miss everyone who has ever left this show, including Addison. 

A few things we liked were the interns calling Meredith “Medusa,” Callie and Avery being awesome, and the fact that there are already two interns that we remember (Tina Majorino and Wilson the Crier). We were also touched by the scene where Cristina looked at the clock and realized Mark’s time had run out. That reaction was the most touching thing to us. She was so far away, but she still cared about a member of her fractured Seattle Grace family. Sob. 

We’re glad we get to go back in time to the plane crash in the next episode. The last home video…ugh, by then we had given in. Mark’s death is a real tragedy. We know the actor had to leave the show, but couldn’t he have just changed professions or something? Disappeared like Izzie? Poor Sofia. The only way this could have been less enjoyable is if everyone sang tuneless indie music during it or if two platonic friends suddenly had a gross affair in the middle or if Meredith almost died and then lived. F*** you, Shonda Rhimes.

Episode grade: F

Community, Grey’s Anatomy, How I Met Your Mother, Smash, New Girl, Secret Circle, and Make It or Break It end their seasons.

Community: Leeard loved the last three episodes of Community, particularly the first and third episodes. Ern was less enthused about them, believing them to not be the show’s best. However, this is a show you should be watching. It’s uneven to most fans, but we think it’s at least consistently worth 22 minutes a week. This season has been pretty strong. The stand-out episodes were "Pillows and Blankets" and the one with the multiple timelines ("Remedial Chaos Theory"). Oh yeah, and the Christmas special ("Regional Holiday Music"). Those three episodes were classic Community. We can’t wait for season four. 
Season grade: A-

Grey’s Anatomy: We are so angry at this show for killing off that character. That was not the character who needed to go. Out of all the annoying people on this show, they took that character? We were very surprised. We like Jackson and April together. We always hated her, but she is way less annoying when she is with Jackson. Clearly, Owen and Cristina need to get back together, if only because we love seeing a TV couple fight that hard for a marriage that has every reason to end. The fact that this show is still churning out episodes we care about is a feat in itself. It is a soap opera in its eighth season. So, bravo Grey’s. Since Cristina and Alex are staying for next year, so are we. 
Season grade: B+

How I Met Your Mother: We did not hate the two-part season finale. It was predictable that Robin and Barney were going to get married, but we like that twist anyway. Marvin is a horrible name, but “Wait for It” IS the best middle name ever. It’s time for us to meet the mother. We love Victoria (especially Leeard), but the show needs to stop dawdling with her. This season was mostly unfunny with a few gems. We will stick with it until the bitter end, because that’s how much we want to meet Mrs. Mosby. But unless the show steps up the actual humor next year, we won’t be happy about it. 
Season grade: D+

Smash: Oh God, this show. We are so addicted to it, but friends, it isn’t good. It lost its last shred of realism when Karen took the stage on opening night instead of Ivy. We want to hear Ivy’s version of that last song, because it’s a really good number and it deserves to be sung by NOT boring, average Karen. Derek is a moron. We like that Julia and Frank are back together though, if only so that next season the world might get to hear that man sing. That’s really what we are holding out for. Knowing this show, Smash will give him a song that won’t show him off properly. We are entertained by this show, but why isn’t it as good as its pilot was? We may or may not return for a second season. It depends on how we feel in the fall. We hope they scrap Bombshell and work to create an entirely new show that's not based on Marilyn. We're not getting our hopes up for that though. The great thing about next season is that Dev and Ellis will not be season regulars. We've never liked Dev and most people don't like Ellis (we thought he brought good drama) and we are sick of hearing them complain. 
Season grade: C-

New Girl: We have rarely seen a stronger first season from a comedy. This show criticized its own flaws in that great Lizzie Caplan court episode and found its voice early on. It also moved its focus from just adorkable Jess to its loveable ensemble. We like every character on this show and their interactions contain a chemistry mostly seen in casts that have been together longer. The finale was cute and funny. We love that Nick didn’t end up with Caroline in the finale. We thought the show might do some cliffhanger where he actually left and the gang would have to get him back next year, but the show chose not to annoy us. Isn’t that nice? We will absolutely, gladly watch this show’s second season. No question. 
Season grade: A

Secret Circle: We will always be mad that this show was cancelled and we will refuse to believe it for a while. Breaking In was brought back!? Can’t the CW save this one? The series finale was more satisfying than we thought it would be. The death of Cassie’s dad was great. The set up for a nonexistent second season was good, yet the finale had a definite ending. We liked seeing Diana take control of her life and ditch the circle. We liked seeing previews of Adam’s dark side. Charles had started to redeem himself. There was lots of action and a magic crystal skull and everything!!! Ugh, why show? Why? For anyone who has read the books- should we? Will they fill that void? 
Season and series grade: A- and we don’t care what anyone says to the contrary.

Make It or Break It: We enjoyed this season and liked that ABCFamily tried to give a little more closure….but this season was not what we wanted. No Emily, very little Sasha, no Peri Gilpin, no Olympics, a redeemed Lauren Tanner (when all we wanted to do was hate her), and Jordan. Stupid, stupid Jordan. The actress playing her was not good and we could not have cared less about her being molested (a “twist” that was not difficult to guess early on). The premiere of the season was cheesy as all-get-out. The tension and backstabbing drama was toned down. We liked the season, but it was nowhere near as good and entertaining as seasons one and two. We feel like the network let fans down with this shortened, cutesy series of episodes that did not resemble the tension-filled, almost powerful seasons that preceded it.
Season grade: B- 
Series grade: A-

Cougar Town saved! (and other news about other shows/our reactions)

If you haven't heard already, today TBS saved Cougar Town from cancellation and has bought all the rights to it. There will be another season of the show. We love when this happens, and we can think of no more deserving show. Thank you, TBS!

Lots of other shows have been renewed and cancelled, but we haven't gotten around to talking about it yet. Stupid exams! Alcatraz has been cancelled, and you know what? We don't care. Yeah, we watched and covered it a lot, but it was more due to the possibility that it could get good. It wasn't actually good yet. The pilot and one other episode were good, but mostly it deserves scorn. The Finder was also cancelled, to the joy of Ern and the mild disappointment of Leeard.

30 Rock was renewed for one more season. This is good. The show needs to start coming in for a landing, but it shouldn't end this year. Parenthood was renewed! Amazing, amazing, amazing. Love that show. Touch was renewed as well. When it came out of the gate, we really liked it, but we aren't sure the sweet concept is working out well, long-term. We hope this show does its homework and fixes its problems for the second season.

The Vampire Diaries unsurprisingly got another season, and can we say "rejoice?" Rejoice. Supernatural has also been renewed, and we have finally started watching it. We are done with season one. Ern thinks it's cheesy as heck but is willing to keep watching it. We also need to catch up on Person of Interest. We got behind, but it's been renewed, so we need to give it attention.

Grey's Anatomy is near deals with a few main characters who were at risk of leaving. We will put their names in the comments so that you aren't spoiled as to who might be staying for the next two years. Shonda confirmed a while ago that a character will be dying horribly in this year's finale. We will put our guess for that death in the comments as well.

Finally, a commenter has just informed us that Community was renewed today. This is not surprising, but we are concerned that there will only be 13 episodes. How can we survive with only 13 episodes?

P.S. We are seeing The Avengers tomorrow. Wooo hooo.

---Update---
ABC Renewed: Grey's, Revenge, Castle, Once Upon a Time, The Middle, Suburgatory, and Modern Family. No surprises there.

Grey's Anatomy - The Girl with No Name

What Happened - The residents are interviewing for jobs at hospitals around the country. Cristina is receiving all sorts of bribes and treat baskets from hospitals, because, as she puts it, she is a god. Teddy freaks out and wants her to stay. Teddy tries to get Owen to make Cristina stay, but Owen is all, “Um, we aren’t friends. Don’t you remember that time you gave me that really harsh, uncalled for speech where said you wish I had died? So, you make her stay and don’t talk to me about my wife ever again.” April’s annoying personality grates on prospective employers, Jackson is only being courted for his last name (which upsets him), and Alex is taking interviews at crummy hospitals until he finds out that Arizona is sabotaging him to make him stay at Mercy West Seattle Grace. Alex makes her recommend him to some good places.

Meredith gets a great interview opportunity but is forced to postpone it when a teenage patient, Holly, is admitted and bonds quickly with Meredith. Meredith has to stick around so that the patient feels safe and in control, because Holly was kidnapped at age six and has been tortured and raped for the last couple of years. She escaped her captor and ended up at the hospital. Dr. Bailey is traumatized by this, since she’s a mother, and has a total meltdown when Tuck is out of her sight for about three minutes. Owen has trouble handling the press and the girl’s family. When a stranger takes a photo of Holly that ends up in the papers, Owen blames himself for not handling the security right. Cristina tells him that he’s doing fine and lets him have the apartment until she’s done studying for her boards.

In the end, the handling of the Holly situation is a success. There is hope that she will be able to bond with her parents, she is physically healthy, and no other public relations disasters occurred. Everyone claps for Owen, including Cristina. She gives him an apple from her fruit basket after he inquires, sadly, about her job prospects. Owen looked hopeful during the applause, but soon after seemed to realize that Cristina is disconnecting. Cristina is determined to leave Seattle for the best hospital she can find. Meredith has her eyes set on Boston and Derek is down for moving. Richard finds out that Adele has fallen for another Alzheimer’s patient at Rose Ridge. She even slept with him. Richard realizes that he can’t stop the relationship and has to give her space.

Comments - We liked Owen’s response to Teddy regarding Cristina. It’s about time she got told off for that rant. We also liked that Alex wasn’t mad at Arizona but just made her change her actions. Jackson and April were annoying this week. Dr. Bailey has been annoying us for a while, but we weren’t irritated by her this week. Even though she was not tough and seemed to be making the tragedy all about her, we liked the level of empathy she had with the parents and how much she loves Tuck. The episode name was dumb. The girl has a name: it's Holly.

How is it possible that Owen and Cristina are cuter when they are separated then when they are married? We missed the season five-esque pining between these two. It’s similar: Owen wants to be a better man/get over his issues/prove himself and win Cristina back. It worked three years ago, so why not remind the audience why this is a couple they used to root for? We were mad at both of them (but mostly him) for ruining their marriage with selfish decisions, but they behaved well in this episode. They treated each other with kindness, not anger, and that’s something hardly ever seen in real marriages about to end. Cristina is probably able to do this because she is leaving. She wants to end things on a good note.

The whole “residents looking for jobs” plotline is a great way for some of the actors to end their time on this show once their contracts expire after this season. We could lose all, some, or none of the original cast members. We’ve been loving Meredith lately. Her warm, secure, adult side has blossomed. We’d hate to lose her, but it’s very possible that she and Derek will leave the show. We could stand to lose whiny, self-righteous Derek, but he and Meredith come in a pair, so we would accept him. Cristina should absolutely stay, since she’s our favorite character on the show and it makes more sense for her growth as a character to have her choose personal friendships and love over career success. Still, the storyline is going to take a backseat to actor's contract negotiations. Whatever they decide, the show will have to write around it.

Alex is our second favorite character and we love his dynamic with Arizona. Bailey can go, but she won’t since she’s Shonda’s Mary Sue and would likely get little work elsewhere. Richard is fine. Keep him. This is a good opportunity to get rid of April. It’s unrealistic that she would be the only one to leave. The ones we absolutely need to stay are Cristina and Alex. Richard’s storyline was interesting to Ern. Ern had to pause the episode and think about whether Richard could successfully sue Rose Ridge for allowing two patients not in their right minds to have intercourse. (Conclusion: Ern does not know and needs to study more.) We liked the case with Holly. We don’t know if the show got the psychology right or wrote her character believably, but it was entertaining and touching.

Episode grade: A-

Thursdays Aren't The Same Without Our CW Shows, But At Least We Had These Four Episodes

Community - Origins of Vampire Mythology

This was one of Community’s more traditional, normal, and season one-esque episodes. We prefer the high-concept spoofing episodes like the Christmas specials, the one with the alternate timelines, the World of Warcraft episode, and last week’s pillow fight documentary. This episode was more about the crazy characters, their solid friendships, and their neuroticism and insecurities (particularly Britta and Jeff’s). We loved the advancement of the Britta/Troy pairing, which was hinted at earlier and needs to happen eventually. Jeff’s speech at the end might have been less than subtle, but it’s a speech that most women who love bad boys need to hear. Heck, it’s a speech we should all take to heart.

Episode grade: B

Touch - Entanglement

This week, one of the random characters Martin needs to help is a young Muslim woman fighting an arranged marriage. This is a country where it’s against the law for women to drive, so we actually think she should marry the guy, seeing as he is college educated and traveled the world. You could do worse. Maybe he’s cultured? That story got even more interesting fast. Halfway through, we see the most intriguing random character: a girl bent on revenge. We love revenge stories! We loved what Martin said to her even more. He shouldn’t have moved her after she was hit by that van though. Never move anyone after an accident; you could hurt them more and then get sued.

 It was weird that when Martin looked up the Bible verse Exodus 22:22, he read the words next to a number that clearly said four (not 22). He got the words of verse correct, but what kind of funky Bible did they use for a prop? Someone berated a girl for breaking a rule and used the phrase, “If you take out one brick, the whole wall will fall out.” We say that if your beliefs or way of life rely on each piece being concrete, they are too flimsy to stand. Things came together more smoothly this week, and we didn’t see any people from previous weeks, so things were less confusing. This is the kind of episode we want to see from this show. It was emotionally satisfying and not too complex.

Episode grade: A-

Awake - Ricky’s Tacos

We liked the opening with the fast food drive-through. It raises more questions. We also liked the new, big conspiracy that might provide more overarching plot. The cases were decent too. Fat Neil from Community was on this episode! This show is still extremely likely to be cancelled, and we are upset about that. Still, keep watching, telling your friends, and spreading the word on the internet that it is a good, original procedural. Talking to the kid without a lawyer or parent made us raise our eyebrows. How would that fly? Not that we hated it. They needed to get the little girl away from her father. Something has to stop Michael from moving to Portland, right? Question: Say Michael was actually living in parallel universes and each were equally real. If he hooked up with another woman/married her in the universe where his wife was dead, would that be morally wrong?

Episode grade: B

Grey’s Anatomy - Support System

After some bickering and cutesiness, Bailey, Teddy, Arizona, and Callie have a girls night together. The residents panic over their boards and use Lexie’s memory to help them study until Meredith takes over and teaches them Callie’s method. Mark takes over as chief of surgery in Owen’s absence. There are patients, blahblahblah. One of them teaches Meredith that even when a friend says they don’t want comfort and support, they are lying and you should always be there. Obviously the real drama in this episode was Owen moving out after Cristina guessed his subconscious motive for cheating on her. It was to hurt her like she hurt him when she aborted his baby. Owen didn’t deny this, and that’s why he got the boot. He left with some “I’ll always love you” speech, but Cristina is over boys for now. She needs to study for her boards.

This prompted a lot of debating with our friends over whether we would keep a husband around if he cheated (if he is anything less than husband, it’s not even a discussion; it’s automatic). Cristina seemed offended that it was just a one-night sex thing where he didn’t even remember the girl’s name, but we think that’s less offensive than a relationship or long-term mistress. We all agreed that we would never let a husband cheat twice and stay with him. We also debated whether it is more hurtful to cheat or to abort a baby the other spouse wanted. Cristina’s crime is more of a grey area, and she does have the woman’s right to choose on her side. Owen’s is always wrong to most people. We are really surprised he did that. Despite all the drama and the sad outcome of last night, we think these two are endgame. They’ve spent three seasons fighting for this relationship. It had better not be a waste of time.

Episode grade: B+

The Rest of the Shows We Watched

Well, Ern decided to go goof around at Disney World for three days. If you saw a grown-ass woman trotting around Hollywood Studios, swinging a blue lightsaber and making dinosaur noises, then you saw  Ern. Sadly, that means no one watched new shows Touch and Missing yet, since that was Ern's job. Hopefully that will happen shortly/next week. But here are the rest! Thank Leeard, mostly, lol.

Sunday
GCB - Hell Hath No Fury
Leeard is still enjoying this show, but we're both hoping some things change in the next few weeks. It's getting repetitive and it's only been on for two weeks.
Episode Grade: B

House of Lies - Ouroboros
Marty finally found out that Jeannie is engaged, but plays it off to help her save face with Wes. Monica is mad that Marty is seeing someone else, so she files for sole custody. Oh Monica. You dumb, crazy bitch. Marty's new girlfriend is great with Roscoe and we hate Monica, so we're rooting for Marty. Also, Monica's consulting firm is doing the due diligence for the MetroCapital merger, which obviously sucks for Marty.
Episode Grade: B

Monday
Alcatraz - Clarence Montgomery
A man is sent to Alcatraz after being wrongfully convicted of murder. We should mention that he's black and he was convicted in the 1960s. He's in our time now and actually committing crimes. Apparently, he was brainwashed back in Alcatraz so he's convinced he's guilty and won't be anything but a murder for the rest of his life. He finds an old friend from the rock who notices he hasn't aged. When Rebecca, Doc and Hauser find Clarence at his friend's apartment, Clarence asks his friend to kill him so he both stops murdering and doesn't go back to jail. Hauser is upset, because Clarence had the lady doctor's blood type and could've saved her life.
Episode Grades: C

Tuesday
Switched at Birth - The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters
Part of this episode was pretty cool. We like that Bay and Daphne teamed up for Emmett's birthday gift - making a deaf zombie movie. Too bad he doesn't deserve it, because he and Simone are acting cagey as hell pretending that they didn't sleep together at the basketball tournament. Wilke finds out because he accidentally reads Simone's texts with Emmett and he obviously disapproves. We obviously disapprove because Simone is the worst. We don't really know how to feel about Emmett not telling Bay. The truth is obviously going to come out eventually (probably next week, since that's the season finale), and it's not going to be pretty.
Episode Grade: B

Cougar Town - A One Story Town
That end tag was probably the best ever. So funny, even for people who don't love Scrubs. Jules got way too involved in the lives of her friends, as usual, but it's always out of love. She tried to set Bobby and Travis' photography professor (Angie) on the perfect date leading to the perfect kiss, because Bobby is a horrible date but the best kisser (according to Jules). Obviously, things go awry, but it obviously ends up all right. This is honestly one of the shows we wish we could live in.
Episode Grade: A

Body of Proof - Identity
We are so sick of crime shows doing an episode with this plot. Two girls who look similar are in a car accident in which one dies. They're misidentified at the scene. Seriously, when we were watching and found out that two girls had been in the car accident we said to the tv "please don't do this plot, you're better than that". Unfortunately, the show didn't listen to us. We still really like Megan and Aiden (mainly because Jamie Bamber is gorgeous and we miss Battlestar Galactica), but this show needs to stop recycling plots from every other crime show.
Episode Grade: D

Wednesday
Suburgatory - Independence Day
Tessa wants to become an independent, self-sufficient woman, so she gets a job at Dallas' crystal store. George worries that there's something going on in Tessa's life that she won't share with him. He finds the poem she wrote for the cool teacher's poetry class and worries even more about if this means that Tessa wants to see her mother. He meets with Tessa's maternal grandmother to see if she or her daughter (Tessa's mother) want to see Tessa. Apparently they don't. Whatever, Tessa is awesome and they're missing out. Also awesome: Dallas. She and Tessa are probably the best things about the show.
Episode Grade: B+

Thursday
The Office - Get the Girl
Andy drives down to Florida to get Erin to come back to Scranton with him. He succeeds of course. In Scranton, Nellie has arrived for a job in the branch and, seeing Andy's office has no one sitting in it, decides she'd be a good manager. She gives everyone a raise and somehow convinces Robert California of her talents. Not that she really has any. It was a weird episode.
Episode Grade: B-

Community - Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts
If this episode hadn't been the first after an extended break, it would have been fine. As it was, it definitely didn't live up to our expectations. Granted, it's Community, so it's still hilarious (like Troy and Abed "de-whimsifying" themselves). We really wish we had gotten to see Troy and Abed's 24-hour marathon of weird in the dreamatorium.
Episode grades: A-

The Vampire Diaries - 1912
We can't believe that after all our complaining about Alaric death fake-outs, we found out that all the dying was for a reason. That was leading up to something! Dying too often and being saved by the ring messes with your head. This show is so brilliant. Even the stuff that annoys us turns out to be important. We found out that the person who made Damon a bad guy was a vampire named Sage. We bet she's doing MMA now. Damon and Stefan grow closer, and Elena and Matt share quality time together. Matt is STILL in love with Elena, at least a little bit. Poor thing. Although we enjoyed it, this episode won't get a perfect grade, because we think it's dumb that Meredith shot Alaric for his own good, and Liz acted irrationally. Their actions just didn't make sense.
Episode Grade: B

Grey's Anatomy- One Step Too Far
There is yet another gap for this show, and it's driving us crazy. At least other shows have ONE long gap and maybe two. This one seems to have about five per season. About the episode...well, everyone is on Team Cristina at this point, right? The abortion was debatable in some circles and we could at least half understand her point. But cheating is always wrong and cowardly. We actually still think that these two are endgame, but we don't enjoy adultery storylines, so it's a shame the show took us there. The abortion plot was at least interesting. We were surprised that Owen cheated, but we were glad that it wasn't with Nurse Emily. We love Summer Glau. We love Catherine Avery too, and we feel really bad for Morgan. Alex needs to shut it down before he hurts her or he needs to love her back. Callie is usually right, Alex. We can't BELIEVE Meredith and Lexie took out that tumor without consent. These doctors make so many mistakes in this hospital that we shouldn't be surprised, but they absolutely deserve to be sued for that. That was so bad. Of course, Derek took it all on himself, so we have to watch Saint Puppy-Dog Eyes in a lawsuit storyline. Snore.
Episode grade: B

The Secret Circle - Lucky

Faye told her mother about Cassie’s dad?!! Oh Faye, you’re the worst, even though we love you. John Blackwell is still decidedly Team Jake. It’s doubtful that all the adults would be ok with a school hosting a Casino Night. We loved Grant right away and wanted him with Diana so that she will be happy. He seems too perfect though. He donated 100s to the school, he has an accent, he reads books, he’s confident, and he’s cute. Since it’s this show, he has to be evil or something. It was awesome when Cassie almost killed Ethan for stabbing her father. We love when she gets dark and vengeful. John must really be in Cassie’s corner, since he didn’t let her kill Ethan. This is going to cause more rifts between Adam and Cassie. Both those dads are pretty hot. Dilfs. We don’t want either of them gone. We are pretty happy with this show, but the one thing that could make it better is if it became more of an ensemble drama, like a witchy Grey’s Anatomy. Cassie is not as likeable as some of the others, and the whole circle needs equally screen time. Cassie needs to not be the “main character.” There need to be six main characters.

Episode Grade: A-

The Oscars were boring, but TV was not.

Sunday shows:
Shameless - A Bottle of Jean Nate
We liked the stuff with Kevin and V mourning the loss of Ethel. We were horrified at Jody's sexual habits. When is "Kiss from a Rose" going to catch a break? That's a pretty song. Jasmine is a sketchball, but Fiona sort of did owe her a place to stay. 
Episode grade: B

Once Upon a Time - What Happened to Frederick
The stranger has a name, and it's August. We still miss Graham, but August is growing on us. In fact, his scenes with Emma might have been the highlight of this episode. We also really loved that Abigail/Kathryn has her own love. The evil queen's curse actually did something for Kathryn's happiness! It stopped her from leaving Storybrooke and going to law school. 
Episode grade: B

House of Lies - Bareback Town
We already knew that Marty has no morals, but this episode finally proved it. He threw one of the client's employees (someone he's known for years) under the bus just to keep the client. This will not go over well, since she has a new job with the competitor. We really enjoyed this episode because, though he has proven and will continue to prove that he has no scruples when it comes to his job, he's actually starting to care for the stripper we met in the pilot. He's just such a confusing man. His ex-wife is absolutely insane (or, well, more insane than we already knew) if she thinks that she could get full custody of Roscoe. Not only are you certifiably crazy, you're on the road as much as Marty is, and Roscoe's grandfather takes care of him when Marty isn't around. She probably has some psycho tricks up her sleeve though, not that she's usually wearing shirts when we see her onscreen.
Episode Grade: B+

Monday shows:
Pretty Little Liars - Breaking the Code
We have another couple we like: Wren and Spencer. How adorable are they? He brings out her sexy, drunk, even crazier side. Mona just made a bid to become one of our favorite characters. You can't threaten someone who isn't afraid of the truth. What a freaking bad ass. Mona is a great friend. This episode might have even ended with Maya's death. The show did spoil that there would be a death. We almost got rid of Ezra, who keeps chickening out. Aria has to always put the pieces back together and find a way for them to date. Now Ella is helping them work it out? Ugh. But we still think Ella is the best parent on this show of pretty awesome parents. This episode had some great emotion and is starting to address all the Melissa theorists. That probably means it isn't Melissa, unless they want to reveal A's identity before the finale. Doubt it. 
Episode grade: A

The Lying Game - Not Guilty as Charged
Wow how much does Sutton suck? While there are quite a few times that we enjoy her as a character, most of the time we just wish the tv series had started in the same way as the book series - with Sutton's death. Anyway, Ethan's case was dropped due to insufficient evidence, so that's definitely the last we'll be hearing about that case, right? Ha! Sutton pretended to be Emma and told Ethan that she (Emma) had slept with Thayer when Ethan and Sutton were hiding out on the ranch after Ethan told her (Sutton pretending to be Emma) that he had made out with Sutton but that she doesn't mean anything to him. Ouch, but seriously Sutton - you're the worst. You totally deserved that. Sutton then told Emma that she (Sutton) and Ethan slept together on the ranch. We hate you so, so much Sutton. Mads finally called Sutton out on being basically the world's worst friend, and while that might make a normal person change her ways, this is Sutton we're talking about. Also, Laurel and Baz are heading in the right direction, which we're pretty excited about. Justin is a horrible boyfriend and person, and Laurel deserves so much better, because she's pretty awesome.
Episode Grade: B

Hart of Dixie - Snowflakes & Soulmates
Lemon and George tried to elope, but obviously that wasn't going to happen. Lavon got his parents back together and broke up with Didi, because he's obviously still in love with Lemon. Zoe tried to send some macaroons to her dad in Germany, but found out that he moved back to New York and hasn't tried to contact her. Ouch. She and Brick had a little heart-to-heart about that while Zoe drove him to South Carolina (for Lemon and George's elopement which, again, was never actually going to happen). All in all, a pretty decent episode for this show that one of us likes more than is rational.
Episode Grade: B

Smash - Enter Mr. DiMaggio
Ugh. We almost got a male character involved in the show who was straight and not a douche. But it turns out he slept with a married woman and is being awfully friendly to her now that they are reunited. Julia cheated on her caveman! We like the new character though, and we like how that assistant is turning into a full-on villain. The songs were ok, although we don't know that "Redneck Woman" needed to be covered by this show. At least the rock version of "Grenade" made sense in the plot. 
Episode grade: B

The Voice - Blind Auditions Part 4
The only notable voices in this episode, in our opinion, were Jamie Lono (who sang "Folsom Prison Blues") and Charlotte Sometimes (who sang "Apologize"). Jamie really brought something to "Folsom Prison Blues", and honestly, and version of a Johnny Cash song that doesn't immediately make us go "ugh please stop" is really, really good, because we love Johnny Cash. We're glad he's on Team CeeLo. Charlotte Sometimes a) cannot be her real name and b) reminded us of Xenia a little too, so we're glad she's on Team Blake.
Episode Grade: B

How I Met Your Mother - No Pressure

Shockingly, despite lack of early-season hilarity, we liked this one. Maybe it was the hopeful, smart ending. Maybe it was the inclusion of Florence and the Machine's "Shake It Out." Maybe it was how much we were reminded that Marshall and Ted are such great friends. But, overall, this episode did not leave us annoyed and angry, like the last couple. We wish Marshall had paid up at the end though, since we know Robin isn't the mother.

Episode grade: B

Being Human - "Addicted to Love" and "Mama Said There'd Be Decades Like This"

Sally is a rapist who drove a woman crazy now, and Josh is concerned. We're not gonna lie, we thought it was awesome when Josh went to town on Nora's Chris Brown. But it was even more awesome when Nora and the siblings killed him. That storyline was part of the wolves' downward spiral, but this particular step in the downfall wasn't entirely unwelcome. This season, we are liking Nora and Josh more as a couple. We got to see why Mother punished Suren in the first place, meaning that we got a few more shots of Aidan's hideous little mustache. We loved the twist that Henry, Aidan's traitorous underling, was alive. We weren't digging the ghost/imaginary Bishop. Also, we were shocked when Josh traded the purebred siblings for Nora/his freedom. That's pretty rude, but we don't blame him.
Episode grades: B and B

Tuesday shows:
Glee - On My Way
NOOOOOOO Quinn! Maybe you aren't as sad as we are about Q, but we've always liked her. Even when she acted psycho, she at least had a reason to be a jerk, unlike when Mercedes started acting douche-y this season. Quinn's recent good advice, good decisions, and that moment where she advised both Rachel and Mercedes when they went through their "looks insecurity" phase makes her someone we root for. We can't believe we have to wait until April to find out if Quinn is OK, although we are guessing she ___, because of these set photos. Glee did manage to send an important message about texting while driving, we guess. Glee made us cry this week. Literally. And over KAROFSKY, so, bravo show. We know we have a lot of teen readers and that those years can be hard. (Not that suicide is just for teens) If you ever feel hopeless and hate yourself enough to consider suicide, please call a hotline and/or keep fighting. It really will pass and you don't want to give whatever is trying to tear you down a victory. Getting help and sticking around shows that, while you have your problems and life sucks right now, you're a bad ass and won't go down, ever. In "what the hell?" news, Sue is pregnant and the Finchel wedding was moved to right after Regionals (although Quinn's crash might stop it). Also, New Directions won at Regionals. The third place show choir might have been the funniest thing about this episode. We were disappointed in the Kelly Clarkson song, because the voices just didn't have the same oomph as Kelly's. It was a misfire. Also, Rachel's solo didn't fit her voice at all (the original version of the song is fun though). We feel cheated, but not by the cliffhanger and hour-long anti-suicide PSA. Lots of people thought that stuff was sensational and cheap, but we thought it was nice, shocking, and that it fit the show. They hadn't really ever addressed that topic and honestly, given the characters they have, we're surprised it took them this long.
Episode grade: A

Switched at Birth - The Art of Painting
Regina had her art show and Bay was jealous, but got over it (basically). Emmet is still doing speech therapy, and told Bay he wants to drop out of school because he thinks getting a GED is the same as a high school diploma and he doesn't need any more than that to be a photographer. Bay told Emmet's mom, and she forced Emmet to go back to school. Bay, you did the right thing. Don't let Emmet make you think differently. Also, Daphne found out that the Carlton women's basketball team is going to be cut, so she leaves Buckner to go back to her old school. We're glad, since it didn't really make sense that she could leave in the first place. Side note: we really don't mention this show enough. We're working on rectifying that.
Episode Grade: B

Jane By Design - The Wedding Gown
Donovan Decker designed a wedding dress for "American royalty" that the soon-to-be princess didn't love, so Jeremy, India, Carter, and Jane had to stay late to make a new dress for her. Of course, infallible Jane designs a gorgeous gown, that India takes credit for. While we like that India tried to give Jane credit while showing the dress to Jeremy, we wish she would've just owned up to it when Jane told Jeremy that it was her design. We get it, India sucks and Jane is awesome. Anyway, of course the future princess loves Jane's design (which was based on Jane's mother's gown), but the redesign process caused Jane to miss a date with Billy and Nick. Luckily, it gives the boys time to bond and they become friendly. Honestly, this show isn't great, but Erica Dasher (who plays Jane) is just so, so likeable.
Episode Grade: B

Wednesday shows:
Suburgatory - Fire with Fire
Other than Happy Endings and Cougar Town, this is probably the funniest show that no one is watching. We haven't really looked into the ratings, but no one we know watches Suburgatory. Dallas filed for divorce and is feeling and looking better than ever. This inspires Noah's wife to leave him. He wins her back by pretty much every romantic gesture we can think of. Dalia is still upset at Tessa for "stealing" Scott Strauss so she steals Lisa as a friend. Tessa fights back and steals Kamantha as a friend, and Lisa comes back when she sees Kamantha and Malik doing the Dougie at a school dance. Re-reading this paragraph makes us wonder how this show is actually as funny as it is, because nothing in the recap really stands out. Trust us though, it's laugh out loud funny.
Episode Grade: B+

Thursday shows:
Secret Circle
There was no new episode this week, but we have a question: Why did no one point out to us that Daddy is SULLY from Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman? Yeah, we should have noticed ourselves, but he was covered in beard, had short hair, and has aged a bit. Still. That's important information.

The Office - After Hours
Ryan tries to hit on Erin, but either realizes he's "in love with Kelly" when Erin says something about waiting six months to do it or realizes he doesn't want to wait six months for Erin when he has a sure thing waiting in Scranton. Nellie tries to sleep with Dwight. Kathy tries to sleep with Jim. Dwight preventing hookups might just be the best thing this show has done in a while. Sidenote: Poor Darryl.
Episode Grade: B

Parks and Recreation - Sweet Sixteen
The Ron/Leslie relationship is so darling. Ann and Ron are STILL happening, despite April's best efforts (go April!). It looks like Chris is depressed about that. Jerry's birthday surprise was hilarious when only Ben popped up. We love this show. 
Episode grade: A-

Grey's Anatomy - If Only You Were Lonely
Cristina thinks Owen is cheating and Meredith's VO left us unsure. Either Cristina is crazy, or one of our favorite geek goddesses (Summer Glau) is banging Cristina's husband. If Owen cheats, we will be firmly on team Cristina, forever, rather than our current team, which is "Team Both of You Are Wrong But For Good Reasons." You all know we don't care about the Chief and Adele, but this episode made even us feel bad for them. The stuff with Zola's hair was dumb. Bailey just should have told Derek right away. We loved the peds case. The shrapnel in the guy's chest was disgusting. Overall, this was emotional, funny Grey's at its best. 
Episode grade: A

Movies: We watched Courageous, which is definitely a Christian movie. Why is Christian stuff is so bad usually, in modern times? Religious music, like Handel's Messiah, used to be the most beautiful stuff around. There is some good Christian music, but most of it sounds lame. Christian-themed books, like Dostoevsky's stuff, Dante's Inferno, or Lord of the Rings used to be deep and subtle. Courageous was one of the better Christian films we've seen, and it still wasn't very good. Its worst crime was hammering moral points home in such an overt way that it insulted its audience. The audience should be able to apply ideas to life themselves and pick out the themes, not have it spelled out for them. Most of the acting was bad. The plot was all over the place. The movie was hard to get through, and the heavy-handed dialogue proves that just because something is labeled "Christian" doesn't make it good, unless the message of movies are all that matter to you and you are a Christian. We feel cheated, because the opening scene was cool.  Grade: D 

Books: We read Moon Called by Patricia Briggs, which is the first in a series. The reason we read it was because we saw a reviewer call it "everything the Anita Blake books should be." Now, the Anita Blake books are entertaining reads with a LOT of problems (not the least of which being the main character turning into a super slut and the books having no plots halfway through the series), so a series that fixed those problems appealed to us. The main character of Moon Called, Mercy, can turn into a coyote because of some Native American blood. We were not enthused about this because that's not a very cool power. However, Mercy is a cool girl, even if it took her half a book to grow on us. She's less of a Mary Sue than Anita. Her neighbors are a pack of werewolves, a couple of witches, and a few vampires. We didn't see a lot of the vampires, but what we saw was good and creepy. The book started off entertaining, then it slowed to a crawl just before halfway through. Fortunately, it picked up and got entertaining again in the second half. We started to like the secondary characters and could see them being set up like pieces on what should be an entertaining chess board in subsequent books. There's a nice love triangle shaping up. We're team Adam so far. We're not obsessed with this series yet, but we will read another book. 
Grade: B

OLD SHOW ALERT:
Ern is watching Veronica Mars for the first time. She's 11 episodes in, and it's everything everyone says it is. It has a quick wit and snappy dialogue, Kristen Bell will win you over in at least the first couple of episodes, and you will actually care about the overarching plotlines. Bell plays the titular character, a high school girl who works for her PI dad. The show is so good that Ern doesn't even care when Veronica blatantly breaks laws that even PIs have to follow, as if she can't get in trouble. She's just that cool. This is one of those shows like Firefly and Arrested Development that no one watched (even though it got 3 seasons), but everyone should regret their decision that now that the DVDs are out to binge upon. We hear quality drops in season three, but we will tell you if it's worth watching in that final season. This show is smart, funny, and there is drama to spare. Don't you want to see what The O.C. would be like if it were a Twin Peaks-esque mystery instead of a soap opera? There's a gangster kid named WEEVIL. Weevil love you long time. There are a lot of great guest stars (except for Paris Hilton), including future Oscar nominee Jessica Chastain, Aaron Paul, Schmidt on New Girl (whom Leeard calls "Deputy Leo from Veronica Mars" when she watches New Girl), and Josh on Being Human. We recognize someone new every episode. This is one of Leeard's all-time favorite shows, with good reason. Ern is happy Leeard is making her watch it. Leeard is gloating, since she's been trying FOREVER to get Ern to watch it, and is finally vindicated.
Pilot grade: A-, Credit Where Credit's Due: A, Meet John Smith: B+, The Wrath of Con: A-, You Think You Know Somebody: B+, Return of the Kane: B, The Girl Next Door: B-, Like a Virgin: B+, Drinking the Kool-Aid: B+, An Echolls Family Christmas: A, and Silence of the Lamb: A-

Music:
Ern hates most country music, but has come around to Miranda Lambert due to Miranda's attitude about Chris Brown. Leeard notes, "Duh, Miranda Lambert music is good." Miranda is as not-ok with Brown's comeback as Ern is and said, "Where I come from, it's never OK to hit a woman...that's why my daddy taught me to use a shotgun early on." Amen. While Leeard still enjoys Brown's music, Ern thinks he forfeited the right to be famous and have his art heard when he hit a woman, even if Rihanna forgives him. Miranda held up a sign that said "take notes Chris Brown" during a performance of her song "Gunpowder and Lead." It's about a woman shooting an abusive husband. "I'm gonna show him what little girls are made of/gunpowder and lead." It's a good song, even to the ears of a country hater. Also, Ern has finally gotten the Mumford and Sons CD and it's good, especially the lyrics. Due to the Glee episode, we bought Young and the Giant's CD too. Also good.