Red by Taylor Swift

By Marcin Wichary from San Francisco, U.S.A.  Uploaded by MyCanon (Taylor Swift) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

A long, long time ago, a commenter wanted to know if we were going to write this. We were, but laziness prevailed, and we're only just now getting around to it. Also, we had to wait until we could find a deal on the CD so we could really give it a good listen, rather than just listening to every track on youtube. On this album, Taylor Swift is less country than ever, especially in the catchy, yet trashy, song "Trouble." We'd better get used to that one. We can see it getting a lot of radio play.

We can see Taylor working to please her young fanbase and stay on top. She hired Max Martin to do some writing, and if you don't know who he is, just know that he writes songs for many pop artists, and he's the reason all music today sounds the same. It's the same guy. She even hauled in Ed Sheeran for one of the better songs, because he's the next big thing for young hipsters. He's all over tumblr. We like Ed's one song on the radio about the dying prostitute who likes cocaine.

But back to Taylor's album. This girl is addicted to the rush of the in-love feeling, but it gives her material. We like the title song, Red, for its clever comparisons of the affair with colors. It doesn't make perfect sense, but we get it. Lyrics-wise, our favorite song is "Begin Again." This album emphasizes physical activity and passion more than her last entries. It's hard to review this album. We like it, but we kind of hate it. We're getting sick of Taylor trotting out the same act all the time. It's all familiar ground. Yeah, it sells, and it would be foolish to change what generates sales. But art takes risks. It doesn't hire Max Martin.

The break-up and love songs are getting old to us, mostly because it's not where we are in life, so we're happy that she threw in  a song like 22, which is yet another anthem about the fun of being young. Actually, we're not digging those songs either. It sucks to be young a lot of the time. No stability, self-doubt, loneliness, fear of not finding a good job, fear in general, not knowing yourself...it's all there. That's why we love Lena Dunham and Girls. Instead of making us feel guilty for not having a roaring time like the radio thinks we're having, Lena gets how we're really feeling.

But Taylor Swift is writing about the fairy tale. Unless it's a mean breakup song written for revenge on Jake Gyllenhaal (the immature We Are Never Getting Back Together), Taylor overstates the importance and wonder of romance several times, never actually giving her tween listeners a peek at the challenges and realities of actual relationships. In Holy Ground and State of Grace, which sounds like a U2 song, Taylor compares romance to the spiritual. Romance is society's new religion. Taylor is helping us worship (for a profit), not exactly baring her soul in this album.

We think she's gussying up dating so that it fits the fantasy, whether tragic or ideal. If she wanted to take a risk, she'd write about other aspects of life. But she won't. This album was all about being commercial, less about being an artist/poetry, and almost not at all about staying country. She's got multiple genres in there. This album should please most of her fans and keep her on the radio. We're not impressed with it, overall, but we like a few tracks and there aren't many obvious fillers. There aren't any we want to put on repeat though.

Album grade: B

Spam

The spam comments are getting out of control. Cut it out. This blog is monitored closely for spam comments and they won't last long enough to be read by anyone by us 99.9% of the time, and we don't visit your sites. We will pull them down. This goes double for the dude trying to sell porn.

You're wasting your time.

Parks and Recreation is worse this season, but it's still better than most comedies.

By Peabody Awards (Amy Poehler) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

We love Parks and Rec. Seasons 2-4 were as funny as any comedy we've ever seen, and all the characters are hilarious, loveable, and distinctive. But as we head toward the middle of season five, we have to admit that while it's still pretty good and loads better than The Office right now, it's not what it once was. They are having writer's block or something. Maybe having Leslie win the election wasn't a great idea, as much as we teared up and loved the victory.

Pawnee Commons
This was the one where Leslie and Ben met the Eagleton architect, Andy was bored at his new security job, and Tom started work on his new store. We loved when the radio guy had to define Batman for his audience. We also liked the focus on building a park in the lot. That's just the kind of arc this show needs to have at this point in the season. We need to be building toward something like the Harvest Festival or the election. Leslie now has to pitch her park to the council and beat April's pitch. After this episode, that shouldn't be too hard, but we'd love the dog park to win.

We also liked when Ken Tucker, the TV critic from Entertainment Weekly magazine was referenced. He usually writes good, thought-provoking stuff, even if we sometimes disagree with it. We also liked the balloon versions of Ben and Leslie and Eagleton's park design. FACE. We liked the gunshot app April had on her phone. Joey was a cute kid. We liked the end of Bert Macklin and the Segways. There weren't any actual laughs in this one for us though, except for Leslie's revenge on Wreston. Most of the Eagleton stuff was rehashed from previous seasons. The show needs something new for that rivalry.

Ron and Diane
We know the point of having Jerry's wife on the show is that she's hot. That's the joke. That's the only joke. So it makes sense that Christie Brinkley would have more botox than John Kerry before an election. Still, she came off as weird and robotic since she couldn't move her face. But, again, for this plotline, it's just important that her face looks good. Goal achieved, even though we prefer the natural look ourselves. Jerry's party scene should have been a lot funnier.

We're trying to avoid the b-word ourselves, Leslie. It's pretty sexist. Where are the writers taking Chris this season? He drank fatty eggnog. Progress? (Also, a weight loss tip. It's best to just eat the satisfying fatty stuff that tastes good rather than a lowfat version. You'll be more satisfied and eat less later on in the day. You don't want all the chemicals either. Just eat real food and exercise.) April is really weak? We liked the Ron Swanson plot. Diane is perfect for them, and if they break up, we will riot.

Pawnee Commons grade: B-
Ron and Diane grade: B

The Vampire Diaries. Groan.

By vagueonthehow from Tadcaster, York, England (Ian Somerhalder  Uploaded by MaybeMaybeMaybe) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

My Brother's Keeper
We don't love what they are doing with Jeremy because the hunter instinct is taking over him. It's too repetitive. We saw this with Alaric already. The show needs to let Jeremy keep his free will and slowly come to the conclusion that he should kill vampires. Leeard was hating Caroline and Tyler this week, and she continued hating them in the next episode. The big news of this episode was that Damon and Elena have sex right as Caroline and Stefan are figuring out that Elena is sired to Damon. Whoa.

Everything that happened this season makes sense once you know about the sire bond. But is this the best way to have Damon and Elena seal the deal for the first time? Would it be SO TERRIBLE to have perfect, compassionate, sweet little Elena sleep with Damon because she's lusty and she wants Damon? Being sired should not have been the reason they hooked up. The show should have had the balls to take Elena there as a woman making a gutsy choice. Super hot scene though. Thank God Damon didn't know, or it would have been rape-y and ruined his character for us forever.

We'll Always Have Bourbon Street
We loved the dress Elena wore to school and in the beginning of the episode. Female friendships are so great on this show. Still, this episode had way too much teen drama. What with Caroline whining about not liking her friend's boyfriend, the brothers fighting, and the endless talk about Elena's feelings, this episode certainly felt like it belonged on the CW. Caroline was being a jerk, but we can understand that because of what Damon did to her in season one. Why does this show always torture Caroline? It's extremely sad, yeah, but give her a break. We'd care if it were one of the other characters too. This one was a snore saved only by Lexi's presence.

We hate to say it, but this show might have lost what made it one of our favorite shows in the first place. It's not going anywhere. It seems to be biding time, making things up as it goes along, and protecting Elena from doing anything wrong, ever. It's not telling us a story we want to see the ending to. We trust these writers more than most, but only one episode this season has been up to the standard it set for itself in the first two seasons. It needs to let Elena legitimately go for the bad guy without giving her an easy out. If this is the only way this show can keep the love triangle alive, it needs to drop the triangle and just move on.

This show needs a shake-up. At this point, we want it to kill Elena, bring back Katherine, and have her, the Salvatore brothers, Caroline (as long as she starts being less judgmental), Rebekah, Klaus, and Matt leave Mystic Falls for another town, with an angry Jeremy, grieving for his sister, hunting them and trying to kill them. Also, cure Damon and make him a snarky human. Or how about this? Kill Stefan and Damon, have Elena get tougher, and then bring in new vampire love interests. Even Ern has to admit that Stefan is less sexy after the whole ripper thing, and what Damon did to Caroline in season one sort of ruined him too.

Stefan is too boring and "good boyfriend," and Damon has been an ass so long that we can't get onboard with that either, especially if it's not real/sired. Maybe they've both outlived their usefulness. Maybe we ship them with no one. We have many ideas and while many would anger fans, they would be a heck of a lot better than having the show write cop-outs and repeat the last three seasons. We will still watch in the hopes that this show can get its groove back. We believe it can.

My Brother's Keeper grade: C+
We'll Always Have Bourbon Street grade: C

Should we tune into Nashville next year?

By Raven Underwood (Hayden Panettiere @ Grand Slam) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Lovesick Blues
Loved the lyrics to the duet between Juliette and Rayna. It really is a shame neither of them can sing that well. We love both Connie and Hayden as actresses, but it's too bad the show couldn't find some powerhouse vocalists who could also act. It kind of makes sense for Juliette to have a lightweight voice, since she's supposed to be a Taylor-Swift type only with more sex appeal. But Rayna should be able to rip it. It's also too bad that Scarlett is such a weak, wet blanket, mousey bore with a weird speaking voice like she's got a mouthful of nuts in the back of her cheeks that she's saving up for winter, because she can actually sing. We didn't love her Ring of Fire rendition in this episode though. You can't touch that song unless you're gonna really kill it. Scarlett's version was too airy and lacked grit. She could have been shot right after that, and we'd have been like, "Justified."

Where He Leads Me
Gunnar finally kissed Scarlett, but because she is Scarlett, she agonized over it and pushed him away. Juliette goes to church with Tim Tebow, and she looked gorgeous in that church scene. We love her hair up like that. We love emerald green and want that dress. It won't be as good on brunettes, but it will still be pretty. Mrs. Tebow is a jerk. Juliette needs a good mommy, not a snob. We are now solidly on Juliette's side in this show, just because we want her to succeed and stick it to Mrs. Tebow. Teddy comes clean to Rayna in this one. Finally. The trust is broken, and Rayna was meeting Deacon soon after. We like the idea of Rayna and Deacon, but it might not be interesting enough in the execution. It's best to build them up and save them for the end. Finally, finally, finally Rayna and Juliette will be touring together.

Other thoughts-So, we're wondering whether we want to catch the show when it next comes on. We enjoy it while we are watching it, but there's nothing that keeps us coming back except this blog and the need to give promising new shows a chance. We never immediately want the next episode. Also, we don't think this show is going to make it, and we want to spend our time on something that's not going to be cancelled soon. On the other hand, some of the music is so good that we've actually bought two songs, and one of us doesn't even normally like country music. We bought If I Didn't Know Better and Fade Into You.

It gets Nashville, TN pretty well, as far as we know. Yeah, we've been there. It's not a bad show at all. There's nothing we really hate about it, and it could get good. We'd follow Connie Britton nearly anywhere. We loved the pilot. We wonder if Tim Tebow will marry Juliette (even though it was real dumb of her to ask him, not to mention CRAZY; way to cut his balls off). This show was smart to speed up all the storylines right before the break, bringing tension to the show where it wasn't present before. Nashville earned itself a pass for at least one more episode from us. We want to see the immediate developments right after this episode for sure. If we think we like where things are going after that, we'll stay tuned.

Are you guys watching?

Lovesick Blues grade: B
Where He Leads Me grade: B+

Supernatural. This week and last week.

By Canadian Film Centre from Toronto, Canada (CFC in L.A. 35) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Last week, Supernatural treated us to a funny, Loony Tunes-themed episode for all of us who enjoyed Saturday morning cartoons. For the rest of us, there was Castiel trying to be a hunter alongside the brothers. Sadly, that didn't go well, dashing all of our dreams. See, we've said before that we want Sam to die and for Castiel to join Dean full time, hunting. But that might not work so well. Dean didn't seem to keen on taking Castiel's help, and Dean was rolling his eyes at Castiel way too much for our taste. We were like, "Don't ruin it, Winchesters! Just let him be weird!" They wouldn't even let Castiel ride shotgun. How are they missing that he's adorable?

The episode was original, well paced, and unpredictable. It was missing some of the dull glumness that bogs down this show's worst episodes. It was in this episode that we found out that Amelia's husband, Don, never died. We felt a little bad for Sam. We liked Amelia's father because of how perceptive he was, and we were rooting for him to start liking Sam.

This week (last night) was the midseason finale. There was sort of a cliffhanger. Sam left Amelia with her husband, because he was trying to do the right thing, but Amelia showed up at the end. We can't wait for her to find out what Sam's day job really is. We're glad Benny is the real deal and that he and his great granddaughter lived. Sam needs to just listen to Dean all the time. Dean is always right. We didn't remember Martin very well, but we are thrilled that he's dead.

Martin was so annoying it made us like Sam during this hour. Man, what a pain. We can't believe Sam sent him to keep tabs on Benny. What a dumb idea, Sam. Okay, maybe Sam still IS our least favorite character to ever be on this show, now that we think about it. Of course Sam is mad at Dean, even though Dean was 100% right about everything this entire time. We'd love Sam to run off to Mexico with Amelia and leave Dean alone, but we bet they'll make up within two episodes next year.

And so ends the first half of the season with the new showrunner. We're fans. It needed the new blood. Supernatural still isn't as good as it was in its best seasons, 2-4 (and most of 5), but it's a heck of a lot more watchable than the last two years. The "Bs" are an achievement for Supernatural these days. Too bad the LOST people can't get ahold of this show. It's nerdy enough to intrigue them, and now they can write flashbacks for it too! Although it looks like Sam and Dean's flashbacks to what they did last summer are over. Thank God, in Sam's case. Those weren't very good, and they were often poorly acted. See you in 2013, Winchesters.

Hunteri Heroici grade: B
Citizen Fang grade: B-

Lawless and The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

Lawless
This movie should have been better than it was. It's based on actual people, it had a good cast, for the most part, and it looked awesome, meaning it had good cinematography, costumes, color, and setting. It just wasn't engaging enough to be great. Tom Hardy was a highlight. We swear, that man has a different voice for every character he plays, and we're not just talking about accents (although we've seen him do about four, and he hasn't been in that many movies yet). His surly, tough character was our favorite. Poor Mia Wasikowksa didn't make out so well. We've loved her since In Treatment, when she played a young gymnast getting therapy. She was the best Jane Eyre in movie history, and she can be really pretty. She's a good actress too. Sadly, she didn't get much to do in this movie, and they hardly ever let her put her hair down, so she didn't look that great either. The men we watched the movie with just kept complaining about how she wasn't pretty and was "anorexic." It made us feel bad, since we like her and think she's gorgeous in a different sort of way.

Gary Oldman hardly gets anything to do, but it's the best we've liked him in a while (he was hideous in The Book of Eli). This was beneath Jessica Chastain, especially given her role. Shia LaBeouf did a much better job than we would have predicted, and we're pleased to see him at least trying to get into good movies. He's grown. We were also happy to see Dane DeHaan, who we recognized from Chronicle. He's a great new actor and a little cutie to boot. Guy Pearce has the meatiest role. Parts of the movie are a little slow, and it feels listless. We felt uninvolved when we were watching it. even in the parts where we were entertained. The film lacked both tension and heart, and at least one of those is key in movies like this. In the end, the best thing about this movie was the violence. If you like brutal, slightly creative, and gleeful violence, this is the movie for you. It's not constant, but when it's there, it wakes you up.
Movie grade: B

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Once again, the cast is the draw here. Tom Wilkinson, Judi Dench, and Maggie Freaking Smith. Yes, please. We ended up liking Bill Nighy's character the best. This movie had a boggy middle, since there was little in the way of firm plot. We didn't know where it was going. The characters' main goals were...wait for it...to enjoy retirement. Hows that for a story? Seven old people set out to enjoy their retirement, BUT WILL THEY SUCCEED when it's in India, and they find the country weird and the hotel a bit run down. We didn't care about one of the major love stories. Dev Patel's character was funny. That guy was so positive that if someone pooped on him, he would say, "Ah, yes, I can eat that and it might have some nutrition."

The movie is sweet, and it has a few good lines and chuckles. We expected more though, especially because of the cast. This movie was wise not to exceed two hours, but we wanted to see more of India and the more interesting aspects of the culture there. We wanted more jokes and fewer cliche plots. The actors save the script. We were a little annoyed at some of the portrayals of women in this movie. All the villains were women (even if their villainy was light), and we watched this movie with a guy who got a chance to throw around the world "bitch" a lot. We're sick of women in movies being negative nags, shrewing around. This film didn't totally work and will end up being forgettable. If it weren't for the cast, it would probably have been a complete waste of time.
Movie grade: B-

Sunday midseason finales: The Good Wife, Once Upon a Time, Revenge, and The Walking Dead

By Arnold Gatilao from Fremont, CA, USA (Jennifer Morrison) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

The Good Wife- Battle of the Proxies
Nick is gone! Thanks for the Christmas present, CBS. That character was a dud and so was the plotline. We're curious to know how Kalinda got rid of him. We doubt she killed him, but with a storyline that dumb, one never knows. We don't even care what happened to him. In fact, one way for Kalinda to get her mystery back is to have the show just never tell us what she did to protect Alicia. He's gone. No one cares about him. Showing her killing him would be stupid, but anything less than his death would be unsatisfactory (unless the writers have a creative solution of which we can't conceive). Just leave it at that. Kalinda has ways we don't know about. Ways we can't fathom. Stand in awe. Our main complaint about this episode was the lack of Cary. Alicia needs a new love interest at some point too. For a midseason finale, this one was awfully quiet.

What an interesting case to save for the end though. This is one legal show that puts real, intelligent thought into its scenarios. Amanda Peet has Will nailed. Not literally, but it's probably just a matter of time. We can't believe Alicia's kids were so mean to her when she tried to have The Talk with them. Actually, we can. Our parents are cool cucumbers, like Alicia, who we respect, and we even snap at them sometimes. No one wants parents up in their grill, even after high school. Alicia messed up though. Now Grace is probably going to have sex with Bobby. Did Alicia send Grace the message that it's a little expected for Grace to start considering sex? It was cute and hilarious when Zach and Alicia found out that the real sex maniac was Jackie. Peter's campaign is in trouble and Eli is in a tissy. What else is new?
Episode grade: B

Once Upon a Time- Queen of Hearts
As saccharine as it all was, this episode touched us, especially when Emma's heart threw out Cora. Will Emma have more powers in the future? Jennifer Morrison looked prettier than usual in this episode, for whatever reason. Regina didn't get the results she would have wanted from her redemption, but we love seeing her come this far. One of our concerns with this series was that the good and bad guys would be fixed, uncomplicated, and stock characters. But this show isn't afraid to take them from their archetypes and grow them, making room for surprises like Red being the wolf or the "evil queen" being unselfish. We loved the ending too.

Hook is such a little poop. His aggressive "flirting" during his fight with Emma was just disgusting. Who is writing his part? If they are trying to get us to hate him, it's working. As sweet and fulfilling as this episode was, the best part was Hook and Cora sailing toward Storybrooke. As villains, they probably aren't scary enough, but we can't wait to see them face off against Rumpy and Regina. We'll give them a chance to prove that they can cause real trouble. We like that the midseason finale got the whole Charming family back together. A separation storyline isn't as interesting as an all-out war storyline, especially when we are repeatedly assured that they will always find each other.
Episode grade: A-

Revenge- Revelations
This wasn't a bad way to wrap up the first half of the season. It wasn't good, but neither was most of this season so far. The events were a little depressing. Daniel has control of Nolan's company, because Nolan wanted to protect Amanda that much. Wow, that's a great friend. Too great of a friend. David Clarke must have been one hell of a mentor. We hope Ashley wasn't anybody's favorite character (we truly doubt it) because she probably isn't anymore. Her actions in this episode were pathetic, but we can all likely agree that we're glad she and Daniel are broken up. We welcome a triangle between Daniel and Aiden. Jack is just too sweet and clueless to make an intriguing triangle point and be competitive enough to make a fight for Amanda exciting.

It seemed like the Jack/Amanda ship was endgame from the first season, but now that he has a baby with Emily, he seems sort of tainted as a love interest. Plus, he has Declan and gave rise to this season's most boring material, in our opinions: the drama with his dead father's enemies. We had hoped this episode would end that arc for good, but it seems we'll have to contend with it next year. Much more exciting is the idea of the Initiative, the terrorist group that started it all, trying to control Daniel. Daniel isn't as pure as the driven snow as he used to be, but he's not evil, he's smart, and he has good intentions. Heck, the guy is a literal poet. He's going to be horrified when these people start contacting him.
Episode grade: B

The Walking Dead- Made to Suffer
Darryl!!!!! Oh no! We saw the preview for February and he was still running around, so supposedly he lives, but we still don't like to even see or think about the risk of losing our favorite redneck of all time. We have five new characters in the prison, and we're alright with that. With all the people dying, they need to be replaced. We want the show to keep trying out characters and only keep the ones we like (and occasionally kill one of them as well). AMC needs to learn how to write women we like. Maggie is a start. We actually don't hate Andrea, even though a lot of people do since she started sleeping with the Governor, a choice some deem as "gross." Carl is a pretty good little leader, as shown by this episode. At first, we didn't buy him as a bad ass, but he's growing on us.

The battle was okay, but the real action was the fight between Michonne and the Governor. Thank God Michonne put his poor daughter out of her misery. That was a gnarly fight. As disgusting and sociopathic of a person the Governor is, one of us is kind of attracted to him. If he had raped Maggie, that attraction would be completely gone. But he didn't, so there it is. We wondered why the Governor turned on Merle so fast, but then we remembered that Merle lied to him about Michonne being dead, and the Governor probably doesn't want to deal with Merle's whinging about his brother. RIP Oscar. You won't be missed that much. Can't wait until February. We just want an answer as to what the Governor is doing with all those heads. EXPLAIN THE HEADS.
Episode grade: B+

Ern Reads Every Stephen King Book post 3: The Shining

I've read this one before, back when I was younger, and I've seen the popular 1980 movie based on the book as well. I don't remember much about the movie. That was a long time ago. I remember liking it. There are a few classic moments that are not present in the book, like Jack's writings just saying, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" over and over. Also, "Here's Johnny!" only happens in that movie. There are a ton of differences and both the book and movie are good, so it's worthwhile to partake in both. My only complaint about the movie is that the wife, Wendy, is so ugly in the movie that it's distracting. I know that's mean to say, and I'm sorry, but the book paints Wendy as much more attractive.

Stephen King lived portions of this book/got certain scenes from real life. He actually moved to Boulder, Colorado for a year in order to give his third published book a different setting. We guess it would be a problem to write a book set in a place with which you are unfamiliar. King and his family stayed in a hotel one night where they were the only guests, and they stayed in a room that was said to be haunted, Room 217. He was served at a the hotel bar by a man named Grady and dreamed of his three-year-old son running from a firehose. The hotel, The Stanley, had once housed famous people.

This is one of only a few books that have ever really scared me. The "bathtub scene" is what did it the first time around. The second time around, I was more unhinged by the crumbling marriage, the suspicion, and the adult stresses of the job, blame, and parenting. Maybe it's just that I'm older now. The Shining isn't just a ghost story. The novel explores a damaged marriage, hurt and trust in a marriage, alcoholism, and one man dealing with quite the temper. The evil hotel, filled with ghosts, uses all of these already negative things, blowing them up to massive proportions to take a family down.
I don't think this is Stephen King's scariest book anymore, although I used to. The Stand and Pet Sematary probably compete for that title now.

My biggest complaint about this book is that sometimes it got repetitive. King would tell a story from, say, Jack's past, having him remember it. Then he would tell the same story from his wife, Wendy's, point of view, but we wouldn't really get much new information. The history of the hotel was repeated several times, as were several minor, past incidents. We love the way King lets us know the entire life story of most of his characters, but we only need the life story once. Overall, this is a classic for a reason. It has characters you care about, although very few of them. I want to go watch the movie now.

Book Grade (compared to other Stephen King books): B

Re-watching Gilmore Girls: Season five

Season five was the last season of this show that Ern liked. Leeard pretty much loved every minute of this show. The season started right where season four left off, only it showed Dean and Rory lying in bed together, joking. They jumped up when they heard Lorelai in the house, running around and talking. After fighting with her mother and starting to regret her mistake, Rory takes off to Europe with Emily. Rory writes a letter to Dean, breaking things off, but his wife finds it, leading to a confrontation. We loved Lorelai sticking up for her daughter to Lindsay's mom. Real moms are still on their kid's side, even when they disagree with their decisions. They still support them as a person.

Luke and Lorelai start dating. We find out the extremely romantic, kind of pathetic fact that Luke has kept a horoscope Lorelai gave him when they first met eight years ago. He's all in. Well, we're not surprised. Lorelai is touched by this revelation and sleeps with him. Whoa, first date is kind of fast, even if they've known each other for eight years, but okay. We guess fans didn't want to wait much longer. There are a bunch of people who don't like Luke and wanted Lorelai with Christopher, and to them we say, "Huh, what?"

Rory meets rich boy Logan Huntzberger. We liked Logan. We didn't love him. He was good as a character, and we like where the relationship took Rory. It was time for her to have a steady guy again. Logan was unlike both Jess and Dean. He wasn't a pathetic, uneducated puppy dog, and while he was a bad boy, he was a bad boy in an arrogant, entitled way. Jess had a different bad boy vibe. After Dean and Lindsay broke up though, Rory tried to give that relationship another shot, with predictably yucky results. The double date with Luke and Lorelai (with the Bop It) was painful, but funny.

Richard was always right about Dean. As much as class still shouldn't be a thing and love should conquer all, the reality is that most people marry others with similar educations and financial backgrounds. Dean worked in construction; Rory was a blue blood going to Yale. And Dean knew it. The rich girl/poor boy love story is everywhere, but it's not the combination that usually works in real life. Guys have a chip on their shoulders most of the time. They have to be the stars, the successes, and the breadwinners. The wives are the back-up, the support, and part of the overall picture of success. The arm candy. Should it be this way? No. Is it? Not all the time, but most of the time.

It was Dean who couldn't handle being with Rory around her grandparents' house and rich friends. Luke did a little better. Richard and Emily were rude to him at the start of his relationship with their daughter, and things never improved. For all their talk about manners and breeding, they acted like trash. A real respectable person treats everyone the same, regardless of status or income. As Sirius Black said, "You can judge a man by how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."

Or in the words of Brendan Frasier in the underrated Blast from the Past, "Good manners is about making sure everyone around you feels as comfortable as possible." It's not which salad fork to use. It's "the oil of society," helping people to get along as much as possible. So, yeah, we started hating Emily and Richard a little for their behavior. Maybe Dean didn't have that big of a chip on his shoulder. Maybe he just didn't want to hang out with tools. Speaking of tools....Logan's Life and Death Brigade looked fun, but it was more than a little wasteful. We loved Rory calling Logan out for his poor treatment of Marty.

The difference between Logan and Jess was that Logan kind of wanted to be better. Whenever Rory pointed out the error in his immature ways, Logan made efforts to make things up to her, like buying her a coffee cart or apologizing. As arrogant as he was, he could take advice. He was moldable. He could grow. Watching him improve was charming. We also loved his guts and his pranks. His impromptu theater in Rory's class was hilarious. Logan's confidence made him. He did whatever he wanted, unless his father was around. It made him instantly crushable.

Emily and Richards separation continues, and Emily goes on a date. Lorelai has dinner with Christopher, who has broken up with Sherry. Sherry abandoned her daughter because she was tired of being a mother. Ugh, we hate how that show always demonized Sherry, but that was the final straw. It was just cruel to have that character turn out to be so crazy, cold, and heartless. Sure, Sherry was always the worst, but it seemed like lazy writing to us. We were just happy that Lorelai was actually having a personal life rather than forcing us to sit through Inn Drama. So boring.

Rory yells at her dad, who keeps jerking Lorelai around. Lorelai doesn't tell Luke that she's been hanging out with her ex. After Christopher's father dies, Lorelai and Rory make amends with Chris in order to comfort him. Lorelai brings the booze. And she stilllll doesn't tell Luke. Let that be a lesson to us all. That's going to come up to bite her. Emily and Richard get back together in the cutest way, but all that cuteness is ruined when Emily starts plotting with Christopher to break Lorelai and Luke up.

Richard and Emily renew their vows (Rory is Richard's best man, awww). Rory sneaks away to make out with Logan for the first time, and Luke and Chris interrupt her. They both go all He-Man Daughter Protector, making things super awkward. Chris drunkenly throws himself at Lorelai. Luke leaves, angry. We thought that after eight years of pining, it would take more than Lorelai's ex telling Luke that he (Chris) was always meant to be with her.

This break up made Luke look weak, flaky, and uncommitted. We hated it. We did love the final scene when they were all taking pictures and Lorelai leaned in and said to Emily, "You and me, we're done." We've always wanted to say that to someone nasty after watching that scene. She delivered the line like a bad ass. We all learn that you should never make declarations of love a) in front of other people b) while intoxicated. Oh wait, we already knew that. Chris, how old are you?

Lane realizes she won't have sex with Zack, her bandmate and boyfriend, until she is married. Yep, teachings from your upbringing do stick. We loved Lane for this, because it made waiting until marriage because that's how you were taught less creepy and more adorable. Zack didn't even push, earning him points. Meanwhile, Rory keeps her promise to go to Friday Night Dinners, but she's cold to Emily because of what she did to Luke, someone Rory likes. Since Lorelai is also shunning her mother, Emily marches down to the diner to tell Luke that he wins and she will stay out of the relationship. To his credit, Luke immediately goes to Lorelai's house and kisses her. Finally, some balls.

Logan and Rory are having a non-exclusive relationship, and since Rory is a girl, she doesn't care for it.  Rory gets drunk at a weird town function and ends up crying on her guy to a Tarantino-themed party. We have GOT to have one of those. He starts acting jealous. Rory gets drunk at a weird town function and ends up crying on her mother's bathroom floor, asking Lorelai, "Why doesn't he like me?" Amazingly, this did not make us hate her. Rory was now having troubles with "the typical guy," and most of us can sympathize. Especially if she was drunk and weepy.

The weird town function we mentioned, by the way, was Taylor's diorama house. We couldn't breath we were laughing so hard at that. Kirk and weird town stuff was appropriately used in this series. It was never too much and it was almost always amusing. Rory tells Logan that she is a girlfriend kind of girl and doesn't want to continue their open relationship. The ultimatum works, and Logan decides to date only Rory. We loved this. Girls have to stick up for themselves and demand respect. Say what you want, and if you don't get it, don't settle.

Logan takes Rory to meet his horrible family. Honor is cool, but she must have had some trouble in middle school, what with boys almost certainly saying, "Honor? Yeah, I've been ON HER." Logan's family treated Rory like she was Dean, unworthy of Logan and not raised properly to be a Huntzberger wife. Because he has bigger balls than Luke, Logan doesn't let this ruin his relationship. He marches out with Rory and defends her. Rory is crushed and protests, "But I'm a Gilmore." To "make it up to her," Logan's father gives her an internship at his paper. Then he crushes Rory by saying that she doesn't have what it takes to be a reporter.

Lorelai forgives Emily, Sookie has a second baby, and Luke buys Lorelai a house without telling her about it. Rory is so upset about what Logan's dad said, she steals a yacht with Logan. She is arrested. Rory wants to drop out of Yale for a while in order to figure out what she wants to do with her life. She doesn't want to take classes and explore other majors while in college (like the rest of us). She needs direction. Her grades weren't as perfect as they were at Chilton, and now the idea of being a reporter leaves her with a bad taste in her mouth.

This is what happens when you have a perfect, storybook life. As soon as one person doesn't like you or doesn't believe in you, you crumble? Ugh. Everything happened pretty fast. Lorelai disagrees with Rory's decision, so Rory moves in with her grandparents, beginning the longest rift between two characters in the history of this show. Man, was it painful. Richard and Emily first agreed to help Lorelai convince Rory to go back to school, but then they decided they couldn't believe Logan's father would have been that awful, or they couldn't say no to Rory. Or something.

Once again, characters were flopping around like fish. Some of these decisions weren't that believable. Do people really act this way? We went with it. Lorelai runs to Luke for comfort and ends up proposing to him. The season ends. All of this was interesting, but Rory's reaction to a little criticism was completely overblown.

Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller: A-, A Messenger Nothing More: B, Written in the Stars: B+, Tippecanoe and Taylor Too: C-, We Got Us a Pippi Virgin: B, Norman Mailer I'm Pregnant: C, You Jump I Jump Jack: B-, The Party's Over: B+, Emily Says Hello: A, But Not As Cute as Pushkin: B, Women of Questionable Morals: B+, Come Home: A-, Wedding Bell Blues: A+, Say Something: B, Jews and Chinese Food: A, So...Good Talk: A+, Pulp Friction: B+, To Live and Let Diorama: B-, But I'm a Gilmore: A, How Many Kropogs to Cape Cod: B+, Blame Booze and Melville: B+, A House is Not a Home: B+