The Rest of the Dramas! Sorry for all the lateness.

Ringer - “Oh Gawd, There’s Two of Them?”
Bridget has to tell Andrew and Henry that Siobhan had a twin. It turns out the Bridget’s new sponsor is working for Siobhan and he’s the one who killed Gemma. Gasp! Also, Malcolm escapes. After Juliet boozes, parties, and crashes a car in order to help her friend, Andrew cuts her off of her trust fun. Let’s all have a sarcastic slow clap for Andrew for doing the thing he should have done years ago. Good luck buying drugs when you don’t have access to $10 million. The fact that he didn’t do this in the first place means that Juliet should be taken away from him. Also, Juliet was scandalized and hurt that Andrew didn’t trust her motives. No sympathy. You do hard drugs in high school, you lose all expectation of trust. Overall, this show has really gone uphill.

Episode grade: B

American Horror Story - “Halloween 2”
Ok, Hayden was actually genuinely creepy. When she was rotting from the inside out, that was a nice touch. We are SO GLAD the dog wasn’t in the microwave. That would have been too far. Tate’s backstory is amazingly interesting and we look forward to the flashback and more details. Ben has been thrown out of the house by Vivien, but we hope that he has to come back soon. Out of everyone in that family, he is the one who most deserves to live in the haunted house, and it isn’t because he’s a cheater (although that doesn’t help). We feel bad for the way he has to deal with all that shame. He’s the worst because he has a pattern of covering things up. Everyone messes up in life. It’s how you deal with the aftermath, grit your teeth, and own up to things that decides whether you’re scum or not. No one likes a cover-up.

Episode grade: B

Revenge - “Charade”
Man, this was a good one. We had Nolan’s first takedown, and it was successful. The “Tyler is gay and in love with Daniel” theorists were correct. We liked the whole swapped identity thing, but man, Frank got way too close for comfort there. We, like many others, still aren’t buying the Declan/Charlotte romance, and we wish Declan had been cast by a different actor.

Episode grade: A-
The Secret Circle - “Beneath”
The Circle goes to Henry’s house to look for Jane, because Cassie hasn’t heard from her in days. The crew finds the house empty, but Cassie gets a text from Jane, saying that she is on her way home. The Circle decides to stay the night in Henry’s house. Diana experiences jealousy over Adam not being able to bear watching Cassie kiss Jake on a dare. Faye is jealous of Cassie and Jake’s budding romance. Jake rejects Cassie later, though. It seems that he is more into his witch-hunting team than her right now, but that might change. Henry reaches out to Faye from beyond the grave and Cassie finds his body. Meanwhile, Charles erases Jane’s memory and has Henry’s crystal. Most of these episodes have been heavy on the action and light on the character development. We got more quiet time with the characters during this episode, and we loved that. We also like when Diana starts to show her imperfect side, like when she made Cassie and Jake kiss. Most of all, we thought the music in this episode was really beautiful.

Episode grade: A

Fringe - “Novation”
We pretty much know how the Observers erased Peter now, if we hadn’t guessed already. The case of the week was boring, but the Peter/Olivia/Walter stuff was pretty good. Walter has rejected Peter as his son and a family member that he is allowed to keep. That’s sad, but we’re pretty sure he will come around, eventually, and help Peter figure things out. We’re glad to have Peter back.

Episode grade: B

Sons of Anarchy - “Kiss”
The way things are going, it looks like SAMCRO is going to have no choice but to kick Clay out of the club, which is something we are surprised hasn’t happened a long time ago. Clay gets one step closer to taking out Tara for good.

Episode grade: A-

Parenthood - “Forced Family Fun”
The main drama going on right now is the whole Seth thing. We hope he gets better, and he seems sincere, but this had better not affect Sarah’s new relationship, which is getting cuter all the time. Coffee girl needs to not sweat the small stuff and give Julia a break every once in a while. It’s like she gets paid for every awkward moment that she makes even more awkward.

Episode grade: B

Person of Interest - “Witness”
Reese has to protect a school teacher who saw a Russian mob shooting. Of course, Carter has to get all up in everyone’s business. The whole Carter thing had better turn out to be just as good as the rest of the show. It had just better pan out.

Episode grade: B-

Nikita - “Clawback”
Michael is mad at Nikita for not telling him about his son, even though she told him and pretty much did it right away. Ugh. We are kind of hating the whole Michael’s son thing. The son needs to die. We liked Alex’s plot this week, and we loved that Ryan came back.

Episode grade: B-

Prime Suspect - “Shame”
This episode featured a prostitute who killed, but we were less interested in her than the cop shenanigans that went on in this episode (like when two of them pretended that they were going to hit one of their informants). The team is getting along better, and we like that. The shooter from Grey’s Anatomy guest starred, and he was creepy in this, too.

Episode grade: B-

Grey’s Anatomy - “Heart-Shaped Box”
George’s mom returns and isn’t scandalized by Callie’s lesbianism. She just wants to see pictures of the baby. Aww. We enjoyed all the discussion and memories of George. We like when this show acknowledges its outlandishly crazy past. Jackson dumped Lexie because she doesn’t love him. She should, but she loves Mark instead. Finally, Henry is puking up blood, and that’s not good. We’re not saying we’d be devastated or anything, but it would be sad. Filler, but lighthearted, mature filler.

Episode grade: B-

Bones - “Memories in the Shallow Grave”
This was an average, “meh” episode, but it’s adorable to see Bones and Booth as a couple.

Episode grade: C+

A Gifted Man - “In Case of Memory Loss”
Michael comes across a former football player that he operated on a long time ago. The football player has since lost a lot of his memory and become homeless. Also, Michael has to treat a teenage girl who is having trouble coping with her best friend’s murder. Michael helps people. His wife haunts him. This was all par-for-the-course for this show.

Episode grade: B-

Eli Gold, Evil Cupid

Revenge - “Intrigue”
Even the blogger who isn’t super into Revenge had to admit that this was a strong, intense episode. Emily and Nolan sent the video of Frank trying to kill Lydia to Conrad. Conrad fires Frank and tells Frank to stay away from Victoria. Nolan and Declan push Jack until Jack goes to Emily and tells him how he feels about her. Emily rejects him, and we are sad. Lydia is alive! Just in a coma. Tyler continues to ruin Daniel’s life (WHY? Just jealousy? Or is Tyler infatuated with Daniel?), so Daniel ends up passed out on Jack’s bed on his first night of work at the bar. Ouch. Emily tells Tyler off while on a double date with Daniel and her British friend. We like seeing her lose control, especially when it’s directed at douchebags. We loved that the show took a break from the “revenge procedural” formula. If Emily always succeeded in her perfect revenge plots and if that were all that was causing trouble, things wouldn’t be gripping. Now things are a mess, and we like it. We especially want to know what Frank is going to do now.

Episode grade: A-

The Good Wife - “Marthas and Caitlins”
Alicia has to ask Colin Sweeney for help when the firm’s key witness in an important case commits suicide. Sweeney gets info for Cary and, in return, is released from prison. Alicia is asked to hire a new associate, but the girl she picks is ousted in favor of David’s niece. It’s not what you know, but who you know. Just about every subplot was advanced in this episode. Celeste was a lot more fun than usual this last week. Also, most interestingly, Eli Gold promised someone from the Democratic party that Alicia and Peter would be together soon. What dastardly deeds will he have to commit to pull this off?

Episode grade: A-

Sons of Anarchy - “Family Recipe”
Tara wants to relocate for the children’s safety, and Jax thinks this is a good idea. The club gets attacked and realizes that the drug dealing might not have been such a good idea. Clay kill Piney Winston to stop the letters from getting out. Chibs makes progress with Juice on the emotional front (aws). Overall, we were pleased with this one.

Episode grade: A-

The Walking Dead - “Bloodletting”
We will actually respect this show if it kills one of the children. Not that we usually like dead children, but children on a zombie show are just cutesy distractions and potential causes for doom. We liked seeing Shane tell Lori that Rick was shot (this was in a flashback). The man who shot Carl turns out to be Otis, a man who lives nearby and hunts for food. Otis takes Rick, Shane, and Carl to a veterinarian, Hershel Greene, who takes one of six bullet fragments out of Carl. Hershel’s daughter goes to find Lori and saves Andrea from a walker. Hershel’s daughter is kind of a bad ass with a horse. We hope she sticks around. Rick donates blood to Carl and is weakened. Otis and Shane go to the local abandoned school to get FEMA’s supplies that were stored there so that Hershel can operate on Carl. Unfortunately, the high school is overrun with walkers. Otis and Shane locate the medical supplies and gather what they need, but they are chased by a ton of walkers and have to lock themselves into the school to stay alive. That last chase by the walkers and the subsequent barricading of themselves into the school was delightfully frightening. When the show does things like that, it is at its best.

Episode grade: B

Nikita - “343 Walnut Lane”
Percy gains leverage against Alex. Percy also tricks Nikita into thinking she’s found her father, but the man turns out to be a Division agent who infiltrates Birkoff’s house and nearly gets everyone killed. The reason this episode gets a B is that Nikita told Michael about his son. The show didn’t drag the secret out for even one full episode! We are excited by this, and we admire Nikita’s intelligence and honesty. That is not a secret she should have kept for long, and on most shows, she would have. We continue to be amazed that Maggie Q looks to weigh about 75 pounds, but the showrunners expect us to buy that she could beat up a several full-grown men at one time.

Episode grade: B

Prime Suspect - “Regrets, I’ve Had a Few”
A young woman is killed and her body is found in a park, covered with flowers. Jane first suspects her stepfather, but it turns out the stepfather loved her, and it was a park employee who did the deed. He also killed a bunch of other women. The first half of this episode was really slow and tried our patience, but it was worth watching in the end.

Episode grade: B-

Pan Am - “One Coin in a Fountain”
Someone on this show finally has sex that we get to see. It’s Kate, and she steals a crush of Maggie’s for her spy duties, ends up liking him, and sleeps with him. Kate actually acts as a competent spy this week. One of us has decided that Maggie is a bitch and one of us still loves her. Laura spends the episode trying to find the engagement ring she pawned so that she can give it back to her ex-fiancé. Ted helps her get it back. One of us likes Ted, and one of us thinks he’s kind of a creeper. Dean romances Ginny, a passenger who is also the mistress of Pan Am’s vice-president. We loved Ginny and thought she was especially gorgeous. We are still lamenting the lack of Collette storylines.

Episode grade: B-

Person of Interest - “The Fix”
Reese has to protect a professional fixer (like on Michael Clayton) named Zoe. Zoe has information that she shouldn’t. Carter gets closer to Reese while investigating a murder. This episode was pretty average, but we enjoyed seeing Finch face down a bad guy over drinks in a restaurant. Finch can be scary. Just watch him when he was Ben.

Episode grade: B-

Grey’s Anatomy - “Put Me In, Coach”
Because these doctors have tons of free time, Owen enters Seattle Grace into a softball league to compete with other hospitals. They lose horribly. Richard forces Meredith and Bailey to work together in his old trial. Jackson is angered when he sees Lexie become jealous of Mark, who is dating someone new. Alex attempts to get a judge to speed up Zola’s court date and succeeds. This episode is the definition of filler. Alex is just asking to get sued at every turn. What he did was against HIPPA laws, as well as an attempt to influence a judge. Also, who freaking cares about Bailey, Kepner, and Meredith’s trial? Meredith shouldn’t be on a trial! There are no consequences in this hospital. Some of the softball stuff was funny, and we liked that Cristina put a patient first and is in Teddy’s good graces. Now Teddy wants to find dream surgeries for Cristina, and we can’t wait to see that.

Episode grade: C+

Daniel really doesn't deserve to die....say it ain't so

Sons of Anarchy - “Fruit for the Crows”
Bobby calls a vote for a new president, and Clay allows it, but he isn’t pleased. The club struggles to deal with Tara’s death threat letter and an attack against the Mayans. Juice tries to kill himself. This episode was seriously intense. Does anyone want to place any bets on whether Bobby will be the next character to die?

Episode grade: B

Parenthood - “Tales from the Luncheonette”
Adam and Crosby host Cee Lo Green in their music studio. At first, it seems like Cee Lo and his crew aren’t happy with the studio and how things are going, so Adam and Crosby fight. Adam also made rash promises to Cee Lo and sort of counted chickens before they hatched, making Crosby nervous. However, it all worked out in the end. Julia and Joel announce that they are adopting Snarky Coffee Girl’s baby to Julia’s parents, and Zeek questions whether it’s a good idea. Kristina tries to juggle a new baby with Adam’s crazy schedule and paying attention to Haddie. Drew has his first kiss, thanks to some helpful tips from Amber. Many people probably want kissing advice that good.

Finally, Mark Cyr feels insecure when Sarah lets Seth sleep over and cleans him up. Sarah tries to get money from Zeek to put Seth into rehab, but Zeek thinks that Seth is just tricking Sarah to get cash. Julia loans Sarah the money to put Seth in a private facility. Zeek doesn’t like this, but Joel (rightfully) tells Zeek that the decisions of Joel’s family are theirs. When you move out and get married, it’s important to leave home emotionally and make your own household. We don’t know if Zeek is totally wrong about Seth though… It seems like Sarah is getting set up for another fall. Hopefully it doesn’t kill her new relationship as well.

Episode grade: B

Person of Interest - “Judgment”
A judge’s young son is kidnapped by gang members who want the judge to throw a case and get a guilty defendant off, scot free. Reese appears to the judge and works with him to get his son back. The judge might prove to be an ally to Reese later. This episode entertained us and gave us hope that some storylines might create more overarching plots. We like when Reese reveals himself to the people he is trying to help. It just makes him look all the more mysterious and good. We’re still hoping for this show to get picked up for a full season. Having Michael Emerson on our screens again is just too good to lose.

Episode grade: B+

Nikita - “Looking Glass”
Nothing really grabbed us here, and we DON’T like the fact that Michael has a son. He once slept with a woman and seduced her for Division. Now, Michael feels guilty for using Cassandra and when he sees she is in trouble, he sets up a mission to help her. Nikita is understandably wary, but she helps and saves the day, as usual. The episode ended with Cassandra telling Nikita that her child, Henry, is Michael’s five-year-old son. Michael does not know. If he finds out that Nikita kept that from him, he won’t be happy. Sean and Amanda go on a mission together to do some good and do something unrelated to Division or Alex’s revenge. We guess we won’t be seeing Nathan again. Our money is on Sean for Alex’s new flame. Sean also begins to doubt Division.

Episode grade: C+

American Horror Story - “Murder House”
With horror, you want to be unsettled. You don’t want to be left with a sick feeling though. You want to be thrilled, scared, and excited. You might want to worry about nightmares before you go to bed. But there is an icky feeling you don’t want. This episode gave one of us that feeling. We don’t know why, but we do know that effect knocked the grade down a few notches. The Harmon’s can’t move because they are too poor and can’t sell the house. Ben tries to fire Moira for coming onto him, but Vivien comes down on Moira’s side, calling Ben “paranoid.” All she sees is an old lady, not a sex possibility for Ben.

Someone (probably Moira) starts drugging Ben so that he blacks out and wakes up with memory loss. We liked seeing how Moira died and think it’s creepy/cool the way Constance is keeping Moira from moving on in order to punish Moira for sleeping with her (Constance’s) husband. Hayden shows up, ready to tell Vivien about the pregnancy and move to town. Larry pops out of nowhere and kills Hayden by hitting her over the head with a shovel. Larry buries Hayden and Ben builds a gazebo over the grave. Vivien hears about the house’s first owners: A couple who performed illegal abortions. The ghost of the wife meets Vivien.

Episode grade: B-

Revenge - “Guilt”
Lydia reappears, looking to get her friendships and her house back. The annual Flight 197 victims fundraiser is thrown and Victoria is honored for starting it. Lydia nearly tells the gathered crowd of Hamptonites about how Victoria and Conrad framed an innocent man, but Victoria pretends to be Lydia’s friend long enough to get Lydia to change her mind. Frank, the man working for the Graysons, breaks into Lydia’s apartment and finds her files. Lydia returns home and Frank accidentally throws her out of a window and onto a car. Bye bye, Lydia. Daniel and Amandily rectify their miscommunications, and Daniel tells his father that he doesn’t want to be a part of the family business.

Daniel loses his trust fund and also finds out about how his father cheated on Victoria. Daniel and Amandily have sex for the first time. Conrad tries to win Victoria back with an expensive car, but Victoria gives it to Charlotte in an attempt to reconcile with her daughter. Charlotte takes Declan on a joyride that ends with them both getting arrested when the car was reported stolen. Daniel bails Charlotte out and gets Declan off, and Jack gives Daniel a job at his bar. Great, just what an alcoholic needs: to be surrounded by alcohol at work. Finally, Victoria’s guilt over what happened with David Clarke reemerges. We didn’t like the use of flashbacks in this episode, but we are thrilled that Lydia came back. This isn’t a show that forgets what happened last week, even if it is sort of a procedural soap. We also like how Nolan is continuing to protect Amanda and further her interests.

Episode grade: B+

Peter Is Back!

Friday Shows

Nikita - “Partners”
Nikita’s old Division partner, Kelly, escaped from a Turkish prison. Nikita thought Kelly was dead and blamed herself, because Kelly was arrested during the same mission that Nikita used to escape Division. Nikita convinces Michael to go to Turkey and help Kelly. Meanwhile, Amanda sends Alex and the guy who melts people in chemicals to kill Kelly. Kelly turns out to be working for Gogol and seeks to capture Alex for them. Nikita has to shoot Kelly, and Alex sees Nikita protecting her. Kelly was played by Katheryn Winnick (Hannah in Bones), and we still hate her because of Bones. We are glad she died quickly on Nikita. This was an average episode of Nikita. Nothing too gripping here, but Gogol did find out Alex’s identity.

Episode grade: C+

Fringe - “Subject 9”
Some blue force stalks and burns Olivia, and Walter surmises that it has to do with his experiments on kids in the past. Olivia and Walter go looking for “Subject 9,” one of the kids. It turns out that he isn’t doing it, but this escapade does get Walt out of the lab. He needed to convince Olivia not to recommend that he be hospitalized. It was really sweet when we saw that Olivia advised against Walter’s commitment, even as the heartless, Peterless version of herself that we are seeing this season. Olivia uses her powers to bring Peter fully back into this world. However, Olivia and Walter have no memory of him, and Peter seems to remember everything. Do we get to see Olivia fall in love with him all over again? Actually, we smell a triangle with Lee. The Walter stuff in this episode was great, and so was the ending. The case of the week and the rest of the stuff was weak.

Episode grade: B-

A Gifted Man - “In Case of Separation Anxiety”
Michael treats a patient who is hearing voices and gets Shaman Anton’s help. Dr. Kate starts at the clinic on the day when a car accidentally crashes into it. Michael’s sister is back. We guess she didn’t quit the show. This episode emphasized the ghostiness/spiritual more than the medical, and we liked that. We’d like to see this get a full season pickup, because we think more time and an ability to make a large story arc is what this show needs.

Episode grade: B

Sunday Shows

Dexter - “Smokey and the Bandit”
When a prostitute is murdered and left with half a tooth, Dexter recognizes signs of an old serial killer from the ‘80s that Dexter revered in his teen years. Dexter tracks the man down, and it turns out that he lives in a retirement home, has a grown son, hates life, and is extremely crotchety. He’s also smart, because he checks Dexter out and realizes that Dexter is with the cops. Fortunately, Dexter is able to kill the man. Debra hires a new detective against LaGuerta’s advice, and Debra also struggles with insecurity in her new job and Quinn being a dipwad. Quinn is boning everything in sight in an effort to get over Deb, and he thinks that she dumped him because of her new job. The two “religious murderers” try to get the guy they kidnapped to repent of his sins. Once he does it sincerely enough, they kill him and do something very interesting with his body. These guys are crazypants. Mos Def invites Dexter to a baptism and picnic, and we think he will go. This episode briefly ponders the places where people seek meaning in their lives. We were entertained by this one, but it’s not one for the ages or anything. We kind of hate Masuka’s intern. What a weirdo.

Episode grade: B

Pan Am - “Eastern Exposure”
We are rooting for this show, and we really like it, but this episode was kind of a huge mess. It focused on the lamest characters (rather than Maggie and Colette), and Kate is pretty much the worst spy of all time. The first half was fairly slow. One of us teared up in this episode, however, so it does get points for emotion (in case you were wondering, it was when Ted was talking about his desire to be an astronaut. She's originally from central Florida, so the space program has a special place in her heart). The flight crew spent time in Indonesia. Maggie tried to show Laura a good time, but it ended up sparking a huge fight between Laura and Kate. When the girls return, Laura moves in with Maggie. We find out that Ted’s father had a chance to save Ted’s past job and reputation, but his father chose to protect himself. Dean and Ted fight and Ted punches Dean, but they make up at the end of the episode.

Episode grade: C+

The Good Wife - “Feeding the Rat”
Diane takes Legal Aid and makes it a part of her firm after it loses its funding. Eli Gold tries to poach Kalinda and Alicia for his exclusive, full-time use. Alicia defends a pro bono case. The defendant is innocent of robbing a convenience store, and Kalinda’s snooping proves it. Will turns down a job offer from Celeste and accidentally says, “I love you” to Alicia. They both agree to forget it happened and not discuss it. This episode was enjoyable. We like having Eli in the firm, but we think the show needs to give him better things to do. Also, confession: We’ve never been Kalinda fans, nor are we really that interested in finding out about her character. She could leave the show and we wouldn’t care.

Episode grade: A

Homeland - “Clean Skin”
Carrie’s asset was killed (everyone saw that coming). Brody and his family spent most of the episode preparing for an interview. The daughter knows that the mom slept with Brody’s best friend, but she didn’t tell her dad in this episode. Brody and his daughter bonded a little bit. We got no clues as to what Brody is up to, but we know someone is up to something, because an expensive necklace was smuggled into the country and used to get terrorists cash. Then a couple purchased a home near the airport … and the husband’s skin is very brown. There was a pretty sad scene where Brody had his wife take off her shirt and then he just jacked off. We were depressed for her, but it’s understandable. There’s a theme to these sex scenes: Brody is not in the right place to have sex with another person and be aware that the other person is there and involved. This episode was mostly filler, but it was good filler. It continued what is, so far, a pretty great first season for this thriller.

Episode grade: A-

The Walking Dead - “What Lies Ahead”
The little girl, Sophia, goes missing after the gang is attacked by a herd of zombies. Rick’s son Carl is shot during the search. Shane contemplates leaving the group, and Andrea wants to go with him. She’s also really ticked at Dale for forcing her to live in the season finale last year. This was a solid premiere, but we certainly weren’t blown away. The monologue at the beginning tried our patience. Who wrote that?

Episode grade: B-

Thanks for telling us Nikita got better, readers.

Person of Interest - “Mission Creep”
This show is definitely a procedural, but it’s a decent one, so we watch it, even though there are pouts on our faces about the 24-like serial that might have been. In this episode, the machine coughed up the number of a former Marine named Joey. When he returned from the Middle East, he joined a crew of former soldiers who have become thieves for hire, because he wanted to get money for his dead solider buddy’s little girl. Reese saves Joey, duh. The man behind it all is named “Elias M.” and a man named Latimer works for him. We have a feeling that these two are going to crop up again. We also see that Reese used to have a girlfriend, and they clearly still have feelings for each other. We want to see the machine flashback now.

Episode grade: B+

Nikita - “Knightfall”
We’re finally caught up on this show. It got better around episode five. The first episode was all about sex appeal and stick-thin women inexplicably kicking the asses of large guys, and that turned us off. We’re not really the audience for that. But we marathoned the show once the whole season was out, and had developed enough of a story and fun pacing that it hooked us. There have been some changes since the first season. Notably, Alex is now with Division as a mercenary and Amanda is running the whole thing.

We enjoy the game change, but we look forward to Percy getting out of his Magneto prison. During this episode, Nikita foiled a Division op yet again! Even though one of us hates Shane West, we like Michael and Nikita together. The end opened up new possibilities for Alex’s character. That’s good. It’s nice to keep things moving while having week-to-week missions. We'd really like to see some follow-up with the Nathan character. Last we saw him, he had found out about Alex's secret and shot Alex's rival, killing her. What happened to that guy? Doesn't Alex still want to make babies with him?

Episode grade: B

A Gifted Man - “In Case of Discomfort”
The formula for this show seems to be “one rich patient, one poor patient.” The rich patient had some sort of bug in her brain from eating pork (aaaand we’ve just picked up the pork-eating habits of Jews and Muslims) and the poor patient had heart problems. Rachel Lefevre showed up to run the clinic. We don’t know why we are enjoying this show, because it has a lot of the factors we usually hate. Case-by-case, not too attached to the characters (what happened to Michael’s sister and nephew?), and nothing too unique. And yet, we continue to enjoy.

Episode grade: B

Big Ick Factor

Ern once tried to watch Big Love and only made it past two episodes. Why? The subject matter, of course. There is a huge Ick Factor for us in thinking about polygamy. It's wrong and weird and cheating. Also, it gives Mormons a bad rep. We know plenty of Mormons, and none of them are polygamists, and we have yet to meet one who is a boring jerk. We view Mormons the way the South Park guys do: most are awesome as people, but we can't get onboard with stuff like the whole "Native Americans are actually Jews" thing. Most of them actually manage to live out the tenants of their faith, unlike a lot of religious people, and they can usually be counted on to supply your party with jello and booze-free fun. Steroetypes aside, the point is, we approve. Polygamy doesn't need to be the first thing that comes to mind when people think of that particular religious sect.

But we've heard rumors for four years that this show is good. It's HBO, one of our most intelligent readers (Cat) likes it, and it's the final season. So one of us is going to lunge forward and force herself to get into it. Past the ick factor and beyond. One of us will be caught up by the series finale and will be able to post about the show as a whole and the ending. We'll keep you updated as to how it goes. And after that, Sons of Anarchy catch-up. And then Nikita.

Alias Reboot? What shows would you have remade?

The folks over at ABC have been saying that they are contemplating remaking Alias. This puzzles us, because the original Alias is not that old, and it's pretty good. Sure, some of the mythology is too dense, it fumbled the ending (due to a quick cancellation), and kept Sloane on the show too long, but does it really need to be remade? Our first thought was that it's just too soon. It looks and feels modern, still.

Our worst nightmare is that they remake Alias and make it like Nikita. A sexy spy show isn't worthy unless it has an actual good plot and characters to go with the hotness. ABC is unsure whether it will include original Alias creator J.J. Abrams when and if it remakes the show. We are afraid that ABC will try to make Alias more commercial, and it will just be a big, shallow flop.

But there ARE mistakes to fix. One of us doesn't like Michael Vartan, and that could be a good role for someone else. We both liked Jennifer Garner in the role. She looked like she could actually fight someone. The girl was big, but still in shape. She looked like she had some muscle. The plots, mythology, and Rambaldi stuff could be fleshed out, explained, and completed better.

What shows would you rather see remade? Is Alias the best choice? Is it time yet? Shoot, we would rather see Buffy the Vampire Slayer remade than Alias. The technology in Buffy's early seasons is laughable, and a lot of it could certainly use an update and a removal of some cheesiness.

We would remake/complete/resurrect Carnivale. That could be commercialed-up without it losing its creepiness and supernatural mythology. After LOST, people are looking for another big-concept show, and The Event isn't really cutting it. Carnivale's plot could be sped up, more attractive actors cast, and they could continue that series where it left off. Of course, HBO owns it, so fat chance.

Also, in about 20 years, we would like to see someone re-do Heroes and Flashforward. Heroes was good enough in season one that people with new ideas should be able to bring it back better than it ended up being in the last seasons. Flashforward was actually a decent idea, but it needed to be less boring. Why let a good premise go to waste? Try again later. Actually, Flashforward would make a good MOVIE, because they wouldn't have to drag it out.

Oh, also, what about a re-do of The Twilight Zone? The X-Files?

Ern's Five Favorite New Shows

Leeard needs a little more time to decide (three episodes instead of one or two), but Ern is pretty sure that these are the five shows worthy of viewing, if the genre is your taste, of course. Neither Leeard nor Ern really have genre biases. We like guy shows, girl shows, sci-fi, history, fantasy, teen stuff, soapy stuff, mysteries, violence, medical shows, legal shows, satire, comedies, and more. Here is Ern's list pulled from all the new shows that are still on air. Lone Star would have made the list, but the network drones took it off after two episodes.

1. Boardwalk Empire - This should come as no surprise, due to the quality, acting, history, characters, and story. It makes us feel like we've been watching this show for years. It plopped us right into Chicago mobster history with style, a little family drama, humor, and brutality. It's unpretentious for an HBO show and easy to watch, but it's not stupid.

2. Blue Bloods - Ern doesn't usually flock to cop shows, but this one pulled her in immediately. There is family drama, a secret organization of cops who act more like vigilantes, a "dirty" cop who you kind of root for, an overarching murder mystery, and, so far, interesting cases. There's really nothing else on Friday nights, so there's really no reason to skip this cop drama. Plus, it has Len Cariou in it. He's the really old guy with white hair. Broadway nerds will remember that Len Cariou was the original Sweeney Todd with Angela Lansbury. His voice is so great that when we watch the Johnny Depp Sweeney Todd, we watch it with Len Cariou on our ipods and mute the TV during the songs. Just hear for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Kt5PsyEMWk&feature=related He's the guy who talks first and sings second (the one who doesn't sound like a creepy old man) We love that this talented old-timer is still kickin and making shows.

3) No Ordinary Family- This show was surprisingly fun, and it's good for the whole family to watch. The pacing made it easy to stick with, but it wasn't infantilizing. We hope this one can find an audience and stick around.

4) The Event- So far, this show is one of the best because we don't want to stop watching it. It's exciting, we think it's going to start focusing more on character development, and we like a high-concept show. It could get bad, like Flashforward did. But for now, it's one of the most promising new shows.

5) The Defenders- This is sort of the best by default because Ern wasn't impressed by most of the new shows. But it's a perfectly solid and fun legal drama for people who like to see laughs and twists in the courtroom.

Honorable mention: The Big C. This show is more of a comedy than Ern's other favorites, and it didn't make the top five, because it really started in the late summer. It's hard to call it "a new fun show," but it's too good not to mention it. It's light and breezy, yet respectful and true to the pain a cancer diagnosis can bring. We love the crazy main character, her precocious student (played by Precious' Gabourey Sidibe), and the main character's voluntarily homeless brother.

One to give more time to: We think that if it gets off of its "sex sells" gimmick and starts giving us smarter stories, Nikita could someday be a good show. For now, it's not as exciting or cohesive as it needs to be, but it's one Ern is keeping an eye on.

Ern's bottom five: My Generation, Chase, Detroit 1-8-7, Undercovers, Hellcats (just rent Bring It On, people; it's way better)

New shows- Not original enough?

The Event features mysterious visitors and is trying to be the next LOST.
Nikita is a remake.
Better with You is from a Friends writer and has a laugh track.
The premise of Raising Hope (a single young man having to raise a child) isn't groundbreaking.
The same goes for Running Wilde. (Liberal vs. conservative love premise)

Call us pessimists, but when watching this fall's crop of new shows, we kept thinking, "Have we seen this show before?" It feels like many of the new shows exist to replace old ones. Are we missing something unique or weird about a show? We've been pretty underwhelmed with the ideas for new shows lately.

We suppose Lone Star and Boardwalk Empire are pretty original. But we expect nothing less from HBO, and Lone Star will get canceled if its numbers don't improve.

We know original ideas only carry a show so far, and the real test is whether it's carried out well. But having a premise that is interesting and good to work with can help writers. Is it just us? Are we wrong? How do you feel about the new shows this season?

Nikita episode 2 review

1) We are sick of the advertisements saying Nikita is a “new hit series.” Saying something is a hit when it isn’t yet insults the viewers, because it implies that we are stupid enough to go, “Oh, it’s a hit? I should watch it.” There have been two episodes. No one I know watches this show. Don’t count your chickens.
2) Watching people conduct most of their interactions through computers and cell phone conversations takes tension and humanity out of a show. It’s boring.
3) The show is called “Nikita,” not “Alex.” Why was Nikita’s role reduced to “supporting mentor” so much in this episode?

On this week’s episode of the CW’s James Bond (James Bond with only pretty people and no James), we were treated to the story of how Nikita met Alex. One year ago, Alex was a drug addict who was about to get raped by her dealers. She looked a little like Krisent Stewart playing Joan Jett. Nikita saved Alex and locked her in a sauna to get her off drugs. Then Nikita told Alex that she had a reason to live: to avenge her parents who we assume Division killed. We don’t think this backstory was interesting enough. Any 13-year-old on a fanfiction site could have written it. As for what happened in real time, the episode started out dull, and we could not get into the plot.

What’s with Shane West? He doesn’t come across as a government agent. He comes across as the guy in “A Walk to Remember.” And he always whispers when he talks, as if that makes the tone more dramatic. It doesn’t. It just means you’re a bad actor. No one whispers with a raspy voice across the room to another person.

The next episode looks better, but this one was kind of a chore to watch. We like to ENJOY television. That’s the point of all this, isn’t it?

New hit series my anus.

Episode grade- D

Nikita is over-advertised. Is it also overrated?

Adventures of the killer stick figure.

The ads for Nikita did nothing to make us excited about the show. It seemed like just another mindless blend of sex and violence to us. The star, Maggie Q, must weigh 80 pounds soaking wet. It’s not that believable for her to be throwing guys around like they are rag dolls. I didn’t believe it when she was beating up Bruce Willis in Die Hard 4 either. At least Alias’ Sidney Bristow looked strong. Maggie Q has stick arms, and she’s doing things that require strength, like pushing, not just quick karate jabs. But what realism do you expect from a show with a bulletproof chair bottom in its opening scene?

The first half of the episode was a lot like the advertisements. It was trying too hard, and playing intense music without creating actual intense situations yet.

It made us miss Dollhouse. And we know the premise is based on a French movie, but the plot is a heck of a lot like the plot of Alias. It moves faster, is less complicated, and is easier to watch than Alias though. Remove the brain from Dollhouse and Alias, and you have Nikita.

BUT the show picked up at the end by setting up the story arc for the season. After the mindless action intro was over, we found out that Nikita has a plant in the branch of the government she is trying to take down. Also, Maggie Q is WORKING this show.

There is potential here for the show to be good once they stop trying to push it on the people looking to be titillated.

Pretty good pilot. We will keep watching, for now.

Episode Grade: B-