Pretty Little Liars: Surface Tension review

Well, this is about a million years late, but better late than never, right? This week on Pretty Little Liars opened with Emily moving in with Hanna and Ashley Marin. They got some candy and a note from A.

Leeard (8:02:35 PM): A is the best
Ern (8:03:18 PM): It was nice of him/her to send a housewarming gift. Here’s something NO ONE is thinking: What if A has an altruistic motive that will be revealed later? What if A is using dirty means to a nice end? Is that possible?
Leeard (8:04:39 PM): I don't think it's IMPOSSIBLE. I just feel like: I’m hoping the end game is finding Ali’s real killer, if she is even dead. So, I do think one of the end results of all A’s s*** will be…cathartic? I don’t think A’s, like, altruistic though.
Ern (8:06:28 PM): I'm hoping that the end game of this SEASON is finding Ali's real killer, even if she is dead. I'm hoping A is up to something bigger (and I hope A is bad, I was just bringing up the possibility).
Leeard (8:07:01 PM): I think the girls' end game is finding Ali's killer. Like, I think they'll be satisfied once they have a real answer about that (other than finding out who A is).
Leeard (8:07:48 PM): Emily is the best
Ern (8:07:50 PM): Hey! I think the end of season two or three should end with Aria's death. The show can survive and thrive with just three of the friends.
Leeard (8:08:07 PM): I don't think so
Ern (8:08:19 PM): You don't think it can or should? Because I know it WON'T
Leeard (8:08:23 PM): Both
Ern (8:08:25 PM): But it would be beyond shocking
Leeard (8:08:34 PM): Yes, but I don’t think I’d like it.

Emily started living with Hanna and Ashley Marin, and Hanna’s a little too fun for Emily’s taste. She sings while she does her homework, dances, and makes jokes, while Emily just wants to be sweet and quiet and study in the shared room. If Ern and Leeard ever roomed together, we could totally see that happening. Ern does not study and Leeard does. And Ern has to run her mouth 90 miles per hour every day.

Leeard (8:20:25 PM): Love. Hanna.
Ern (8:20:52 PM): Hanna is so much better than the person singing (I think it’s Ke$ha).
Leeard (8:21:23 PM): Hanna is so much better than most people, just, in general.
Ern (8:21:56 PM): I wonder if Emily wears fake eyelashes on this show?
Leeard (8:22:11 PM): I want Spencer’s hair
Ern (8:22:34 PM): I'd rather have the hair of any of the other girls. Spencer's is a little thin and mousy. It's just styled to hell
Leeard (8:23:19 PM): When I say I want her hair, I usually mean that I want her hair style. I have curly hair, but I wish it were tamed like hers.
Ern (8:23:49 PM): It's called product
Leeard (8:23:56 PM): I use product, anus
Ern (8:24:07 PM): Not the right product, apparently.
Leeard (8:24:17 PM): I just don’t blow dry my hair. My hair doesn’t air dry prettily like hers.
Ern (8:24:34 PM): I don’t know how to blow my hair dry and make it look good. Just getting it dry takes too long.

Hanna found out that Caleb broke into the DMV’s web site for some criminal types and then got out of the deal. The criminals were upset when Caleb scrammed and Caleb is still worried about that. So when Hanna pressured him to “go legit” and do his business in the open or get a real job, Caleb had to tell her about his beyond-sketchy internet past. We’re pretty sure that this criminal past is going to come back to haunt Caleb, especially since they talked about it in Hanna’s room. A seems to know everything about the girls. Is it a stretch to think that those rooms are bugged? Then Hanna and Emily saw Hanna’s parents stumble in drunk, late at night, probably about to have sex.

Ern (8:12:19 PM): I love that Caleb and Hanna's little altercation there didn't end in a big fight
Leeard (8:12:40 PM): And I'm actually okay with their "altercation"
Ern (8:12:52 PM): Me too
Leeard (8:12:56 PM): He was pretty cool about Hanna getting involved with his foster mom thing
Ern (8:12:57 PM): She shouldn't fight all of his battles. I was surprised at how cool he was about that
Leeard (8:13:18 PM): Me too. And impressed.
Ern (8:35:52 PM): Too bad this is abc family. I’d watch a Hanna/Caleb sex scene
Leeard (8:36:21 PM): Read fanfic.

Ezra and Jason came over to Aria’s house for a dinner party held by her parents. A cop showed up and told Aria’s dad that Mike was caught breaking into a house.

Leeard (8:36:47 PM): ooooooooooooooooh, Mike. What an artard.
Ern (8:37:08 PM): Oh noooo. Interrupting the Jason/Ezra collision of my dreams?!!! Darn you, Mike!!!
Leeard (8:37:24 PM): Please, that's not going to happen this episode
Ern (8:37:26 PM): I deem him King Emperor Artardius, the third, after you and me, obviously.
Leeard (8:37:42 PM): I'm not a king emperor

We are pretty sure Jason has figured out that something is going on between Aria and Ezra. There was a little bit of tension between them, and Ezra looked jealous when he saw Aria and Jason sitting together, talking. Jason is also going a long way toward winning Aria’s parents over. Also, we have to say, Jason is looking tasty lately.

Ern (8:10:49 PM): Ezra, get your catfish face off the show

We saw some flashbacks of Jason and Alison fighting. Jason pretended that he was about to hit Alison with a hockey stick. Spencer shouted, “Careful!”

Ern (8:34:18 PM): Please, my brother and I pretend to hit each other with stuff like that all the time. Spencer needs to chill. And I really doubt that stick is the murder weapon. It’s another red herring.

For some reason, Mrs. Montgomery and Mrs. Marin think that Mr. Hasting (Spencer’s dad) is hiding something because he is the one who wanted all of the girls separated and in therapy. The two moms resolve to be more involved in the weirdness going on. It’s about time, ladies. Toby was busy doing some contracting work in Mr. Hasting’s yard.

Leeard (8:13:28 PM): Toby is so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuute. As much as I LOVE him with Spencer, and I do, I agree with you. I don’t think they will be together long-term. Dear Papa Spence, please don’t steal Toby’s contracting ideas or something.

While working, Toby found the aforementioned hockey stick. It said “Hastings” on it.

Ern (8:25:32 PM): I'm kind of bored right now, watching this
Leeard (8:25:42 PM): I think things might get interesting
Ern (8:25:43 PM): Is that a sword?
Leeard (8:25:53 PM): I’m pretty sure it's a field hockey stick
Ern (8:26:26 PM): You would know, sports fan
Leeard (8:26:46 PM): I mean, I’m not an artard, so .... yeah
Ern (8:27:35 PM): I beg to differ on that artard portion of the argument
Leeard (8:28:22 PM): Ugh I know. You not knowing what it is doesn’t make you an artard.
Ern (8:28:55 PM): No, I'm saying YOU'RE an artard. Not that I’m not one.
Leeard (8:32:45 PM): Field hockey. I’m good
Ern (8:32:53 PM): Yep

Spencer’s dad freaked out and burned the hockey stick, not wanting suspicion to fall on Spencer again. Spencer protested, but her dad wanted all of the drama to be over, and he sort of thinks that Spencer is loony and possibly actually involved in all the sketchiness.

Ern (8:16:36 PM): I feel really bad for Spencer. It sucks to have someone in your family really misunderstand you. I feel like these girls should try harder to tell their parents about A. Maybe not Aria, because she has a lot to lose with the Ezra thing. Or Hannah, because of her mom’s felony. But Emily and Spencer should say something if someone really dangerous is out and about.
Leeard (8:17:35 PM): Emily can be forced to move to Texas. Spencer can lose her family if they find out about the ring.
Ern (8:18:04 PM): Is that worse than hiding evidence from the police or letting A do...whatever is next? I think they would forgive Spencer pretty quickly if they knew the whole story.
Leeard (8:18:23 PM): That Spencer “borrowed” Melissa’s ring to buy a truck for Toby? Really? Also, what evidence are they hiding now that the police would listen to?
Ern (8:18:45 PM): I think the A thing would trump the pawning thing. It would overshadow it. Spencer’s parents were rich and Ian was a douche. They would just agree not to tell Melissa and move on with it. The girls could tell their whole story and the fact that they saw the rest of the video with Ian and Alison?
Leeard (8:18:55 PM): Okay, they saw it. What proof is that? The police don’t trust them. No one would trust them.
Ern (8:19:05 PM): If it were me, my mom would believe me. I probably wouldn't want her to go right to the police. I would want her to help me think it out or set a trap for A.

Finally, Aria went through Mike’s stolen stuff and found one of Jenna’s creations from pottery class. She confronted Mike (“You stole from a blind girl!”) and he said that he got the item from Cop Garrett’s house. Aria realized that Jenna and Garrett have a thing and that the cop is not to be trusted. Aria texted Spencer the news, but Spencer was already in Garrett’s car, opening up to him about all of the weirdness and about to share her theories as to who really killed Alison since Ian didn’t. She contacted him because she needed to hear the cops' theory on what the murder weapon was, so that she could rule out the hockey stick, if possible.

Ern (8:44:20 PM): YES YES YES all my dreams. BE JEALOUS EZRA, THEN GO DIE.
Leeard (8:44:50 PM): I don't think he's going to die on the show
Ern (8:44:57 PM): Good, because then we would have to sit through all of the characters mourning him. He needs to leave the show/town in disgrace and then die offscreen, in my imagination. I'm gonna start refering to Ezra as "Mr. Felch."
Leeard (8:45:31 PM): Mmmmmmmmmkay. I really love Aria’s dress. HELL YES! Garrett. Finally they know.
Ern (8:57:10 PM): YES YES YES YES
Leeard (8:57:14 PM): YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ern (8:57:18 PM): officer friendly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Leeard (8:57:36 PM): FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! S***! Nonononononononono
Ern (8:58:06 PM): nospencerstupidhead
Leeard (8:58:23 PM): spencergetoutofthecar. spencerstoptalking. saypeaceoutsucker. GETOUTOFTHECAR. WHATTHEF***?
Ern (9:00:13 PM): !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Leeard (9:00:14 PM): Well, it sure looks like A will be poisoning Emily
Ern (9:00:20 PM): Nice. Finally some action

Episode grade: B